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#platonic intrulogical
loganslowdown4 · 6 months
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Remus: Hey Logan! Janus and I wanted ta thank ya for being on our side during that last big problem. We know you were being neutral but it meant a lot to us. So we got you a friendship bracelet!
Logan: Thank you that is very ni—
Remus: *handcuffs himself to Logan*
Logan: Wha—
Remus: *whispering* Don’t leave us.
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keter-class-anomaly · 7 months
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I finally finished a stupid shitpost comic that I had to redo and I don’t like it but it’s done so here
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Logan: Ah yes, the basking shark, very interesting.
Remus: you when crofters
Logan: what do you even mean by that?-
This is what Remus is picturing in his head btw
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I can’t get over how much I hate this-
It took like MONTHS of stalling for this stupid thing and it looks bad and doesn’t make sense 😭😭
I’m just glad it’s finally done
It’s loosely based off of something but I can’t find it . Oh well
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starshard17 · 2 months
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Logince Week - Day 9
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Regret / Wings
It only seems fair that if Roman gets an epilogue Logan can get one too
And who's that! Remus finally makes an appearance!
He lives beside Logan and Roman and they stupidly gave him a key to their house so he takes to filling their home with sticky notes
So what a treat to be welcomed home to 💙 (he will have all of them taken down by the time Roman gets homes) ❤️💙
@loginceweek2024
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sankiisides · 11 months
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Can u draw logan & remus being silly. - @transfemlogan
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i literally had no clue what to draw for this but then jrwi apotheosis went to my rescue and made me laugh about rock names again
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randomnerd737 · 1 month
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(platonic) intrulogical in my mind:
Logan: I don't know, I'm just not the kind of person people are friends with.
Remus: OMG no way same!!!
Logan: omg really!? we should be friends!
(paraphrasing HEAVILY here but still you get my point)
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intrulogicalweek · 3 months
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Intrulogical Week 2024 will run from November 3 through November 9, 2024.
@tsseventhub @sanders-sides-events
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naminethewriter · 28 days
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Extra Service
Chapter Two: The Brother
Masterpost | Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Ao3
Hello everyone! I'm finally returning to this story and hopefully the third chapter won't take me as long as this one has 😅 Please be mindful of the content warnings, if you would rather skip this chapter, there is a summary of it at then end of the Ao3 link.
Story Summary: Remus hadn't expected to work as a housekeeper at a hotel managed by his best friend but he wasn't complaining. Especially if it gives him the opportunity to keep a (very attractive) guest from overworking himself.
Content Warnings: Past Roman/Virgil, Discussion of Past Self Neglect, bordering on self harm, but not from the person themselves
~~*~~
Soon Logan had showered and the salad had arrived. Remus used the time in between to roughly vacuum the room and use some air refreshener so he could finally close the windows. He also pushed the books and papers around to make space on the tabledesk for the salad. Thankfully nothing fell to the floor (though some of the stacks were very wobbly and Remus couldn’t help but imagine what it would look like if one crashed into the salad and food and plate shards would fly everywhere. His brain tried to get him to topple it, but he managed to resist. Barely.)
Logan emerged from the bathroom in shirt and sweatpants (since Remus had refused to let him take another suit), a towel around his shoulder and still trying to dry his hair. Remus grinned at him and stood behind the chair as if he were a gentleman offering a seat to his lady. He could be courteous if he wanted to be!
“Is this really necessary?” Logan asked, eyeing him skeptically.
“No,” Remus grinned but didn’t move. The other sighed and sat down without another word. Remus pushed his chair closer to the tabledesk with a giggle before sitting down himself and resting his elbows on the polished wood, watching Logan intently. The other raised an eyebrow at him.
“Do you intent to watch me eat?”
“Yeah!”
“Why?”
“To make sure you finish! Also thought this is a good opportunity to tell you why I’m doing this! You said you wanted to know and it’s gonna take a while, so…”
Logan sighed again but picked up the fork Remus had placed in its proper place next to the plate, motioning for him to continue.
“Very well. Do explain yourself.”
“Chance to ramble? I will take it!” Remus grinned at Logan, who looked a bit more reprehensive but didn’t protest. Instead, he started eating his salad, though his eyes remained on Remus for the most part. Before starting his explanation, Remus took a moment to appreciate how Logan’s lips closed around his fork. He really hoped he’d get an opportunity to taste those lips for himself. Only with consent, of course.
‘Focus on the issue now, fantasize about the hot nerd later!’ he reminded himself.
“You see, I have a brother, a twin, actually,” Remus began, leaning back in his seat. “He’s a bit of a dumbass but has a good heart, y’know? We’re both the creative types, though I mostly work with sculptures, art, and pottery – I teach a late-night class actually! Doesn’t pay well, but it’s fun for the most part – while he’s more of a writer. He’s also a perfectionist, which I am most definitely not, I let my hands wander and see where they get me!” Remus winked at Logan but either the other didn’t understand his innuendo or had a great poker face. ‘Uhhh, you should invite him to play strip poker with you! That’d be fun!’ He tabledesked that idea for later, he should probably ask him on a more normal date first and see where that’ll lead him.
“Aaaaaaanyway,” Remus continued, “my brother decided he wanted to write a play and then perform it in our local theater where he works. His boss basically green-lit the whole thing after Ro-bro gave him the pitch but had some guidelines. Nothing major, but enough that my brother felt the pressure.”
Remus could see Logan watching him intently – those deep green eyes were so hot – while he slowly chewed his food. He seemed the observant type, but even if he wasn’t, it was hard to miss the shift in tone. Remus couldn’t tell this story without being somber, it was a time he didn’t like revisiting.
“Roman threw himself into his work. It was fun at first, see him talk about it so passionately, what his plans for the characters were, the twists and turns and how he could see it performed on stage already. His boyfriend at the time was also super supportive, the both of us rubber ducking him constantly.” A wry smile played on Remus’ lips. He took a deep breath before continuing.
“But writing’s fucking hard if you didn’t know. The words can be perfectly aligned in your head but once you put them to paper they look mangled, like rotting corpses you clumsily stitched together and suddenly the eyes aren’t on the same height and one arm’s longer than the other and you forgot a nipple and maybe even a spleen, so how are you supposed to create a functioning monster?!”
“I understand your point, Remus,” Logan cut in before he could get even more lost in the rather gruesome picture he was figuratively painting. “I assume your brother struggled with the writing process once he got started.”
“Yeah, he did. Like a lot. And when he can’t get what’s in his head on the page the way he wants it to be, he gets frustrated and that leads to him struggling with the words even more and it’s a vicious circle. He started spending more and more time at his desk. When he wasn’t working, he was writing. Or attempting to write. He started losing sleep. I often had to drag him to meals. He cancelled plans or didn’t show up at all because he forgot all about them. It was really worrying.
“And it really put his boyfriend on edge. Like the dude’s been a friend of mine before he got together with my brother and anxiety is like half of his personality. So having plans cancelled on him constantly and his boyfriend not taking care of himself properly led to some problems.”
Remus’ had to make a conscious effort to relax his hands after they curled into fists. To be honest, he still hadn’t entirely forgiven Roman for how he treated Virgil during the last legs of their relationship. It hadn’t been fair to the Emo and while his brother had admitted to his faults, Remus just couldn’t get Virgil’s red-rimmed eyes out of his mind. ‘You should revisit that idea about dunking his head in the toilet bowl’ his head suggested and Remus waved the idea off. Roman would wiggle too much.
“It came to a head eventually and the guy broke up with him. Which sucked because I liked him, but because of his anxiety he needed a clean break, so he asked me not to contact him either for a while. Which turned out to be never, but that was more my fault than his I guess.”
Logan raised an eyebrow. (Remus wondered how often he worked on those; they were immaculately symmetrical.)
“What do you mean by more your fault?” he asked.
“Well, like I said, I was friends with the guy so I knew that he would have trouble reaching out to me first. I should’ve contacted him after the situation settled somewhat, but I didn’t.”
“Why?”
Remus chuckled but it was a dry and sad sound.
“I… always had the feeling that he was kinda afraid of me. I know I come on strong, and I have intrusive thoughts and keeping them in my head is hard, so I usually blurt them out or use them for my art and he… well, it often triggered his anxiety. I didn’t really want to contact him and have him feel like he needed to talk to me again.”
Virgil had been a good sport about it most of the time but even before he started dating Roman, he had visited Remus in his art studio less and less. He took great care to censor his words in front of him, too, but it sucked that he couldn’t discuss things with Virgil freely anymore. It was like he had to be constantly on guard around the man and it only got worse during Roman’s breakdown.
Remus missed Virgil, but he figured he was better off without him in his life. At least Janus still contacted him once in a while, so he knew he was doing well enough. It was a small comfort.
Logan had put his fork aside and was watching Remus with his piercing green eyes. He felt like a bug underneath a microscope and that shouldn’t have had him as hot and bothered as it did. Well, not literally bothered – don’t get him wrong, the dude was hot and being examined by him so intently was a nice bonus, but Remus needed more than that to actually get physically excited.
It would lead to new fantasies however; he was sure of that.
“I get the impression that that conclusion is based on a cognitive distortion,” Logan commented eventually. Remus just blinked at him. “In other words, I think you are jumping to a conclusion. If that man was your friend for as long as you are implying, then I am sure he would appreciate you contacting him again.”
“You stopped eating,” Remus said instead of answering and after a few moments of simply staring at each other (‘Staring contest! Staring contest! How long would it take for their eyes to dry out?), Logan relented with a sigh and picked his fork back up.
“Very well, I will not meddle in your personal affairs. Unlike other people, I respect such boundaries.”
Remus cackled at the obvious jab at his intrusion and as he calmed down, he could see a small smile on Logan’s lips, though he tried to hide it behind the next bite of his meal.
“Well, back to the story: my brother got dumped. Which I had hoped would be a wake-up call for him to quit the bullshit and realize how bad he’s gotten. But instead he doubled down. Every waking minute he had that wasn’t spend at work, he was writing the script – or more accurately, he tried writing it. More and more often I would hear him shouting at his laptop about how nothing was going like he wanted it to, how it needed to be perfect, how he would show everyone that he could do it.
“I tried to get him to eat and sleep, but it would only end up in yelling matches. We both don’t have great tempers and more than once I stormed off and didn’t return until like a day later. I don’t think he left his desk in those days…”
Remus sighed, remembering the sorry state of his brother, hunched over his laptop with bags under his eyes that reminded him so much of Virgil that Remus was almost glad that Roman was hardly going to the bathroom so he wouldn’t catch his own reflection in the mirror.
It had been an absolute trainwreck.
“Eventually, my brother collapsed during one of our fights. Passed out on the spot. I barely managed to catch him before he would’ve hit his head on the ground. He woke up only moments after and tried to convince me that it was just a dizzy-spell and that it wasn’t anything to worry about, but I had enough. I carried him off to the hospital right then and there.”
Roman had fought him the entire way, cursing at him and demanding to be brought back home. He almost fainted again in the car since he worked himself up so much. Remus had thought about pulling into the oncoming traffic and putting them both out of their misery – the stress had made his intrusive thoughts so much worse.
“I got him to cooperate by saying that if nothing was wrong, the doctor would just let him go home and I’d leave him alone afterwards if that was the case. He still complained though. Then he was diagnosed with severe malnutrition and anemia. He had to stay there for a few days.”
“And did he do so without complaint?”
Remus had almost forgotten Logan was there. Almost. He looked back at the other – after he had apparently just stared at the wall for the last few minutes – to see that he had finished his plate.
Good.
“Yeah. I’m not entirely sure what happened since I wasn’t allowed to be there when they took his vitals and shit but apparently one of the nurses laid into him about proper self-care and that he could’ve killed himself. I think only then he truly registered how bad it’s gotten.”
“I see…” Logan looked thoughtfully at his empty plate and Remus just watched him until he spoke up again. “And what happened after? Did your brother finish the play?”
“He did. Took a long break from it though. Went to therapy. He’s doing well now, has a sleep and eating schedule and goes to the gym on the regular. It’s kind of annoying how toned he’s getting. Jan sure appreciates it though.” Remus wiggled his eyebrows, but once again Logan doesn’t react to his implications.
“What about the performance?”
“What performance?”
“Of the play. You said that your brother was ensured that he could perform the play at his place of employment.”
“Oh! He didn’t go through with it.”
Logan blinked at him, surprised.
“What do you mean ‘he didn’t go through with it’? Doesn’t that make the entire ordeal worthless?”
“It wasn’t worthless,” Remus said softly, feeling like this might be the point where he can get through to Logan. “Roman learned a lot from it. So did I, to be honest. The entire thing helped my brother to grow as a person. Yeah, he finished the play, but he had to rewrite around half of it since what he wrote during his mania was either awful, extremely personal, and or sometimes even harmful. And even after all that editing, he still found it too close to his heart to publish. He says that maybe sometime down the line, when he’s healed more, then he'd put it on, but not right now.”
“I… think I understand. Still, I cannot shake the belief that it means his struggles were for naught.”
“I know where you’re coming from, but productivity isn’t all we live for. Learning from our struggles and teaching that to those who come after us is what I think we’re supposed to do.”
“That is quite the profound way to see the world.”
Remus shrugged and leaned back in his chair.
“Maybe. It’s at least what led to me coming in through that door and forcing you to take care of yourself. Which reminds me, you should be going to bed.” He got up and pulled at Logan’s arm.
“Sleep?! It’s the middle of the day!” the other protested, but Remus remained insistent and led him over to the freshly made, plush bed.
“Yeah, but that hardly matters when you’ve been up for who knows how many hours. Your eyebags make you look like a raccoon. Oh, maybe I should’ve gotten you your dinner out of the garbage bins outside!”
Finally, he managed to push Logan onto the bed who looked at him with trepidation.
“I cannot go to sleep, I need to finish my work,” he insisted.
“Pish-posh, I bet you can barely remember what you’ve been writing for the past few hours anyway. Get some rest and then look over what you wrote again, I’m sure you’ll want to make some changes. Sleep-deprived brains rarely put out the work in a quality you want.” Remus pushed at his shoulders until Logan was lying down and then covered him with a blanket.
“Fine,” the other sighed. “But I need to set an alarm. I have a deadline.”
“How about I’m gonna come by when my shift ends in—” Remus glanced at his wristwatch—  “about four hours? I’ll help you sort through those books, too, since I kinda just put them together willy-nilly.”
“I guess that’s acceptable.”
It seemed that lying down had a quick effect on Logan as he let out a long yawn and snuggled deeper into the comforting warmth. Remus smiled, proud to see him follow his advice and relax.
“Then see you in a few, Lolo! Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite!”
“If they do, I’ll sue you.”
Remus grinned as he listened to Logan’s half-asleep mumble before he gathered up his used dishes and silently tiptoed out of the room.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 3
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lost-in-thought-20 · 1 year
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Shit Happens, But At Least I Met You
Happy birthday @naminethewitch! I wanted to make you a lil’ something for your birthday today <3 It’s been so wonderful getting to know you this past year, and I’m really grateful to have you as a friend. I hope you have a lovely day, and I hope you like this little meet-cute fic idea I had for your favorite boys!
Taglist: @theimprobabledreamersworld @nadiestar @lily-janus @diamondwind99 @ivaryn0 @threecrowsinatrenchcoat @kittytheroseofkirea @thecrowslullaby 
Summary: Just when Logan thought his morning was ruined after an unfortunate accident, a run-in with an eccentric strangers puts things into perspective.
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse/neglect (nothing explicit), swearing, mention of past bullying.
Word count: 4,985
[Read on AO3]
...
For once, Logan was proven right to put his faith into something other than himself.
It had initially been an oversight on his part to give Janus the authority to choose the location of their meeting. He had sent Logan the name of some obscure coffee shop on the other side of town, arguably further away from the radius in which Logan had suggested they should meet. Somewhere in the middle of both their addresses, that would only be fair.
But no. His classmate abused his power and had forced Logan to travel fifteen minutes by bus to get their spot of assembly.
If there was any vehicle of transportation Logan despised, it was the bus. Now that his bike was temporarily out of commission, he had no other choice but to commute to class through public transport.
The filthy seats, the smell of sweat, the fellow travelers who always infringed a bit too much on Logan’s personal space - and lest he not forget, the hurried and frazzled pace of the bus driver. Too many stimuli to consider the trip as anything but the figurative start of a headache.
So Logan had, in an act of annoyance, trusted the unreliability of the Maps application on his phone. Which stipulated a route on foot passing straight through Toolberry Park. The distance would even be shorter than it would have been by bus.
So it was an easy decision to make.
Logan had left home about 45 minutes earlier, so he wouldn’t be in a hurry. He could always have his third cup of coffee this morning at the shop, while waiting for Janus. Who he’d assume would show up at least ten minutes late anyway.
Saturday mornings were often busy this time of day, considering the weekly market. Logan had tended to avoid the business of the city center in such days, but luckily he was able to circumvent the market square with his stipulated route.
He hadn’t taken a proper walk like this since his new semester of college started, and… it was nice. The sun was shining dimly through a pack of gray clouds, a gentle breeze cooled Logan’s cheeks, and to Logan’s own surprise he didn’t feel the need to wear his noise-canceling headphones.
It was nice to just walk, and live in the moment.
…Good lord, if the mere act of walking outside had him in such a poetic mood, maybe he had indeed been holed up in his room or the library a little too excessively these past few weeks - like Virgil had been claiming.
Logan continued his route peacefully, reaching Toolberry Park about ten minutes into his walk. Since it was the weekend, he could discern a few parents and their children strolling along and heading to the park’s playground. Without meaning to, Logan found himself following them, heading to an arguably greener part of the park hidden behind big oak trees and a river nearby. 
Logan couldn’t believe Virgil’s sarcastic advice last month to “go outside and touch grass” might actually prove to be a reliable method to clear his head.
It did do him good, though. The smell was considerably more pleasant, the temperature was just perfectly average, and -
Children. He jinxed it.
Infant children in strollers, noisy children down the slide and climbing the equipment, pubescent children hanging out near the benches to laugh and gossip and smoke cigarettes.
The kind of abundant brand of Noise that made Logan regret approaching a public place with fellow humans.
He stopped at the edge of the river bank to his left, the circular playground area coming up to his right. A handful of children had generated more noise than Logan had heard through his entire walk so far. He sighed tiredly, and pulled his phone out of his jacket’s pocket. Checking his route, passing by the playground would be the fastest way to get back on track. 
Logan let out a huff, bracing himself. He grabbed his noise-canceling headphones out of his bag and put the device around his neck, before closing his bag again. He didn’t bother connecting it to his music - he would just pass by here and continue his peaceful stroll.
As he was about to put on his headphones, a loud shriek from one of the children made him flinch. Startled, he closed his eyes and recovered from the way his heart just skipped a beat.
They were just children. Children screamed for no reason. He was the bigger person; they couldn’t hurt him.
Taking a deep breath, Logan slowly moved to put on his headphones again to continue his walk -
“Sir, wait!”
Another shriek.
Logan stifled but didn’t stop walking - he just ignored them. He put on his headphones and -
He stepped on something. Something small and round and hard. Something he didn’t see coming.
Before he realized what was happening, Logan’s foot slid away from under the unsturdy surface of the round object, and he lost his balance. As time slowed down, he fell forward and instinctively reached out his hands in front of him.
If only he had been the type to actually work out regularly. Well, he was. But he had priorities, which meant… he wasn’t the type, right now.
Now, he was the type to clunkily fall to his knees, misplace the palm of his hand in something slippery, then proceed to fall on his side. 
His headphones fell off his head, and the shock more so than the physical impact had Logan’s heart racing and his eyes prickling with tears.
To make matters worse, his right knee had landed straight on a pebble, which had dug into his flesh through the fabric of his jeans. His side landed partly in the grass connected to the playground, where he felt small shoes of a child slipping out from underneath his weight.
He had been too optimistic. If only he had made the harder decision this morning.
Then… his hand wouldn’t be covered in shit.
Logan saw it as he tried to sit himself up, seeing that the palm he’d slipped on had been dyed in a brown, sticky substance that smelled worse than anything he’d ever smelled on a bus.
The universe had just been giving him false hope, hadn’t she? Perhaps Logan would be better off never going on a walk again.
“...Hey! What’d I tell you?!”
A decidedly non-child’s voice pierced through Logan’s thoughts. Since the shrieks from children were still lingering in his eardrums, he didn’t even have the energy to shield himself from the next load of Noise thrown at him.
“I told you to be careful, for f-... Come here,” the non-child said, as Logan scrambled to sit up on his knees again. He sat on folded legs, hazily glancing around at his headphones and pushing his thankfully undamaged glasses further onto the bridge of his nose. He turned away from the non-child to reach for his headphones, biting his lip in order not to make a fool of himself in public.
He just tripped. He just hurt his knee. He just got dog shit all over his hand. He just had to hurry over now to a project meeting with his snarky classmate.
No. Big. Deal.
“Shit, man, I’m so sorry,” the flustered, almost sore voice said. 
Logan managed a disdainful scoff, looking at his hand. “Yes, it’s shit.” He hissed without meeting the person’s eyes, clumsily trying to put his headphones on with one hand. He shook the other wildly to get the poo off.
“Lemme help, I got some tissues-”
Before he knew it, Logan’s hands were caught in between two tissues. The sudden physical contact, as well as the rather rough grip, had Logan flinching all over again.
The stranger tried to wipe off the remains of poo very inefficiently, almost making matters worse. But judging from his neon green-dyed mid-long hair, his untrimmed mustache and eyebrow piercing, Logan wouldn’t reckon them to be the gentle kind anyway.
“Don’t touch me.”
Logan’s voice came out shakier than he meant to, as he pulled back his hand. Feeling the eyes of fellow strangers and even children directed at him, having witnessed his embarrassing fall, was already bad enough.
No touching.
“...Right, my bad.”
The immature-looking non-child sighed, not even seeming to mind the amount of poo he had gotten on his own hands now. He simply held out a packet of tissues with his cleaner hand.
“Here,” he gestured to Logan, his green eyes looking guilty like a child being caught stealing candy. Logan took notice of the large sleeve tattoo the man had on his left arm, so eccentric and colorful it became indecipherable.
Logan tried his best to weaponize everything he could assume about this man and used it against him, while snatching the packet of tissues from his hand. He started cleaning his shitty hand himself, hiding his face as he sniffled - disguising it as a runny nose.
…If only he could run. If only he could escape humans for a while.
If only he could feel ashamed in peace and -
“The fuck were you doing, Ro?!”
It wasn’t granted to him. As Logan cleaned himself, the young man - seemingly around Logan’s age, though it was hard to tell in his… roughly patched attire - had gotten up and grabbed a boy at his wrist.
“I was trying to warn him!” the kid - who was most likely ‘Ro’ - snarled back, his eyes the same vibrant greens as his non-child companion. “I didn’t know my marble would - ”
“I told you to be careful and stay close!”
“You were on your phone the whole time! You didn’t even look at me!”
“Well I’m fucking looking at you now!” 
The shouting match between the two did little to settle Logan’s nerves, as he was this close to actually breaking down in sobs. He started humming to himself to the beat of the latest song he had stuck in his head. Meanwhile, some parents seemed to have approached the shouting strangers, having grown doubtful about whether the man was harassing the kid.
Logan didn’t catch much of what eventually made the rest of the onlookers disperse, but the bickering between the two boys continued.
Using the opportunity as the attention was thrown off him, Logan took a moment to do a breathing exercise - breathing in and out in blocks of four. He tapped on the beat of the song in his head, ‘Medicine’ by STRFKR, to help him count. The rhythmic sensation of his fingertips on his thigh was soothing.
He lost track of time, how long he was sitting there. How long it took for him to feel like he wouldn’t cry. 
…Logan exhaled a final time when he heard crying coming from somewhere else.
“...hey, hey now,” the stranger’s sore voice echoed. “Sorry… ‘kay? I’ve just been stressed today, and… Go play with your marbles. I’ll see if he’s okay, and you can apologize later. Capiche?”
Ro seemed to sniffle, “...stressed? W-Why?”
“It’s… grown-up stuff,” the stranger huffed back, and Logan saw the man fondly pat the boy’s head. It dawned on him that the shape of their nose was similar, too. “C’mon, go do a rematch. Show those kids their marbles got nothing on yours.” 
Ro wiped his tears a little and nodded, before giving Logan a quick, shy glance. Logan didn’t yet have the resolve nor energy to say anything, so the kid disappeared back towards the playground in a matter of seconds.
“You okay, man?”
Logan inhaled through his nose deeply, grabbing some final tissues to wipe the last few remains of dog dung. He’d thrown all the ones he’d used on a pile, and he’d used a lot, but his hand still felt disgusting.
“There’s one of those toilet stalls over there,” the stranger gestured backwards with his head towards a small sanitation cubicle. “It’s pretty crappy, but at least there’s a sink. I could - ”
At the utterance of yet another pun, Logan felt fed up putting up with this man - this company, even. He sighed curtly and stood up, “I would appreciate it if you could leave me alone.”
He met eyes with the man again, whose guilty eyes somehow mismatched the rest of his physical appearance. Logan almost thought he saw the man blushing, as if he was amusing himself with the sight of Logan embarrassing himself like this.
It reminded him of his youth. A chill ran down his spine.
This was no big deal. He was the better person.
“It’s just - ”
The man was persistent in not knowing when to back off. He quickly reached down to grab the pile of used tissues, and tossed them quickly in the bin nearby by clumsily stretching his arm as far as he could. Logan would have run in that timeframe, but…
Somehow, he couldn’t.
“ - my little bro’s got my carelessness, and my temper,” the stranger chuckled sheepishly. “And you know, I’ve been trying to knock it out of him, but he’s a persistent little brat sometimes. Not that that’s an excuse, but you know. I- I’m sorry, man. On his behalf, and, if you need some more tissues I got another pack! But this doesn’t have to be, you know, this whole big thing, right?”
Logan was initially stunned by how the stranger continued to ramble to him, when Logan had stipulated he wanted to be left alone. He couldn’t fathom the reasons behind it, half-expecting him to show his goodwill towards Logan as a means to embarrass him further - like Logan was used to being treated by people like him.
But this man seemed almost… scared. Not that that made sense, and Logan could easily write that interpretation off to his inability to read emotional cues properly.
“I told you, I simply want you to leave me alone,” Logan insisted in a hushed voice, not wanting to draw more attention. “So, no, this does not have to turn into a ‘big thing’. If you just… leave me be.”
The green-haired man visibly relaxed at that, his shoulders slumping as he huffed out a sigh. “...Dope, awesome. Just- he owes you an apology, too.” The stranger looked behind him, “Roman! Get over here!”
The little boy, who’d resumed playing with his dangerous marbles with some other kids, craned his neck up and jogged on over. The red sweater he was wearing now appeared as a garment too small for him, his sleeves not even reaching his wrists and the sweater’s body tight around his waist.
“This man is gonna let it slide for now,” the older brother told his younger brother, crossing his arms. Logan noticed a shift in the man’s posture, more mature and serious, as he looked down at his younger sibling. “...What do you have to say to him?”
Roman tugged on his short sleeves and pouted a bit, glancing at Logan for a second before looking down. “...I’m sorry, sir. For making you trip. I should have been more careful.”
The way this kid apologized so earnestly almost had Logan feeling more embarrassed about making a fuss of this in the first place.
“...As I told your brother, it’s fine,” he huffed, even though it wasn’t really fine. His hand didn’t feel fine, and his heart wasn’t racing at a fine pace, either. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…”
Logan made sure his bag was secured around his back, his headphones draped around his neck, and his eyes averted from this embarrassing scenario. He passed the two brothers without another glance, even though he did pick up on what they whispered.
“...not gonna get in trouble this time?”
“No, it’s fine. Just gotta make one more call, ‘kay..?”
Logan wouldn’t claim part of him wasn’t curious, but it didn’t matter. He had a meeting to get to, and shit to wipe off. He went to the designated sanitation cubicle, which was indeed fairly shabby as the young man had said. But there was a sink, even an old soap dispenser, so Logan got to cleaning his hands more thoroughly. To his annoyance, some brown spots had gotten on his jacket, and while taking deep calming breaths Logan proceeded to clean those off as well. As he got to work, he checked his phone to see a message from Janus saying that he’d be ‘late’.
No indication of how late, which annoyed Logan to a fault. But it seemed like he was partly desensitized to it now after that fall. 
He thus took his time to get clean, to the point where he felt acceptable to present himself in public again. He immediately put on his headphones, connecting it to his Spotify playlist. With some newfound yet slightly unstable resolve to continue his walk, he left the small restroom to traverse through the playground again.
He caught a strikingly recognizable flash of bright green in the corner of his eye, and was unwillingly inclined to look at it.
It was the non-child, the green-haired stranger, the older brother. He was sitting on a bench, Roman next to him counting the marbles in his hands, as his brother seemed to be frustratingly calling someone on the phone. Roman occasionally looked at him, frowned in apparent concern, before distracting himself with his trophy marbles. 
Logan should have just kept walking. He didn’t know if he stood still in a recurring fear that the young man would take revenge, like the kids at school would have done. Or perhaps part of Logan was curious, after all.
Regardless, he idled long enough for Roman to meet his eyes. The kid’s eyes widened, and after turning his head to his brother, he quickly jumped off the bench and ran over to Logan.
Logan should have just kept walking.
But… he didn’t. The kid reached him, and gestured for him to take off his headphones for a moment.
And for some reason, Logan obliged.
“...Sir, what does ‘disown’ mean?”
The question had been so unexpected that Logan had no way of knowing how to respond. Roman seemed nervous about his lack of response, “Um, I know you got poop on your hands because of me… But Remus- my brother, he’s on the phone and he says ‘disown’ a lot and…”
Logan frowned in concern, even turned his headphones off. He saw the man- Remus, he saw Remus protest in his phone’s receiver before hanging up. He looked distressed.
 “...Does ‘disown’ mean trouble?”
“Uh,” Logan stammered. If there was disowning happening between the brothers or within their family, Logan really shouldn’t get himself involved. On the other hand if Roman was at risk of getting disowned… Should Logan contact child services? 
“I think it is best if you ask your brother directly,” Logan decided to tell the boy. But he just sighed.
“I ask, but he doesn’t explain,” Roman said and shook his head. “He never explains. And I think he’s getting in trouble, so do you know if ‘disown’ means trouble?”
Logan looked at Remus again. He leaned his head in one hand and stared at the ground. A nasty sick feeling settled into Logan’s stomach. He shouldn’t get his hands dirty involving himself in this, literally nor figuratively. But…
“Yes,” Logan replied, softening his expression and looking at Roman again. “It means trouble. Let… Let me help talk to your brother.”
No idea how he decided to involve himself further with the reason his peaceful day was ruined, Logan diverted from his route to the coffee shop and walked straight up to the bench.
“Your little brother just told me something disconcerting,” he told the older brother.
The previous look Remus had given him must not have been fear, because this look undeniably was. Logan met his eyes which widened upon contact, and Remus visibly gulped while the muscles in his neck tensed.
Logan crossed his arms, the sickness in his stomach telling him something seemed wrong here. “What is this about ‘disowning’?”
Remus gasped quietly and shot a glare at Roman, who’d walked up to Logan’s left. “Don’t look at him,” Logan said almost protectively, reminded of Remus’ harshness with Roman earlier. “Look at me. Explain this situation to me, before I start making assumptions.”
“Listen, man.” Remus chuckled nervously and held up his hands defenselessly. “You told me to leave you alone, and I did. There’s… not gonna be trouble, right? We’ll get off your back now, so - ”
“That was before I heard what Roman told me,” Logan cut through Remus’ defenses. “Now, explain, or I might be inclined to contact child services.” 
Roman audibly whimpered at the sound of that phrase, and Remus’ face paled. “D-Don’t do that. C’mon, man, we’re sorry, but this isn’t what you think - ”
“Explain, then. Tell me I’m wrong.”
Remus maintained eye contact, and judging from the unresolved fear in his eyes, he would soon realize the gravity of the situation. He shot another glance at Roman, “...Ro, go play for a bit. The grown-ups need to talk.”
“No.” Roman sounded resolute and crossed his arms too. “Explain. You never explain,” he said.
Remus groaned, “And there’s a reason for that. Just gimme a moment, Ro.”
“Why shouldn’t he be allowed to know?” Logan supported the little man, feeling strangely supported in having a child on his team. 
“Yeah, why shouldn’t I?” Roman repeated and almost mimicked Logan’s tone.
Remus glanced between the two, and after another sigh, he hung his head low. “...’cause I don’t wanna scare you, Ro,” he mumbled.
This seemed to make the boy falter in his stance. He let his arms drop and approached closer, “You won’t. I’m not scared. You know I’m not scared.”
Remus let out something between a chuckle and a soft sob, rubbing a hand over his face.
Strangely, Logan felt his chest loosen at the sight of the crumbling man whose brother made him trip in a pile of shit.
“Remus, explain.” Logan softened his voice too, and made sure he wasn’t overstimulating himself by getting involved in this. His curiosity got the better of him. He sat down at a reasonable distance from Remus on the bench, as Roman did the same on Remus’ other side - with considerably less distance.
“Explain, and you will not get in trouble,” Logan said, sounding more mature than the two brothers combined. Of course, Logan couldn’t promise Remus he wouldn’t get in trouble, depending on what the situation was. But the empty promise alone made a glimmer of hope return in those immature, green eyes. Remus pursed his lips and nodded, “...Okay, fine.”
He held his phone in one hand and wrapped an arm around Roman, tugging him closer. Logan tensed up instinctively, but Roman didn’t seem concerned. Still, Logan watched the two brothers closely.
“We… There’s been some family issues,” Remus began, avoiding eye contact and staring in front of him vaguely. “It’s a long fuckin’ story, but… what it came down to today, was this phone call I made. My… Our old man. He…”
Roman shuffled in his seat, inquisitively and yet fearfully glancing at his brother. Remus smiled at him a little and rubbed his arm, then turned to Logan.
“...He’s the one who disowned me. Us, I guess.”
Logan felt a pit in his stomach. He couldn’t do more than frown and simply listen. 
“He’s not been…. much of a father to Ro, in more ways than one,” Remus grumbled, his tone low and resentful. “I ran away, took Ro with me, few weeks ago. And now… the old man disowned me.” 
There was a silence amongst the three of them - ironically so, considering there were still cheering children and chattering parents on the playground.
Logan saw Roman frowning in confusion, which Remus caught as well and his smile faded. “What that means, Ro, is… he doesn’t think I’m his son anymore. Which would be fine, because I don’t need him and I got you. But… now, that also means he doesn’t give me money. Money that I need to feed you, make sure you get new clothes someday.”
Remus huffed as he fiddled with the fabric of Roman’s hood. Roman’s face paled too, and his lip trembled.
It was like Logan completely forgot his hand smelled of shit mere minutes ago. That seemed so insignificant, now.
“But… where do you reside, now?” Logan asked softly as he leaned in a bit closer. “How old are you, if I may ask? Are you able to afford an apartment? And… what about your father? Do you not have any other guardians who-”
“There’s no one else.” Remus said so in a tone that was empty, and otherwise impossible to interpret. He looked at Logan tiredly, shaking his head. “No one. My… we’re not going back to that man. I’m nineteen, Ro’s nine, so-”
“Nine and three quarters,” Roman mumbled, sniffling a little.
Remus smiled a bit and side-hugged him, “Right. Nine and three-quarters. We’re sleeping at a friend’s for now. But… he’s got his own shit. Like, figuratively,” he chuckled, and Logan managed to lightly grin back. “I’m trying to find a job… But I-”
He looked at Roman again, holding him close to him as he turned back to Logan, almost as if to shield his brother from what he would say.
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing,” Remus whispered in something that more closely resembled a sob. “I’ve gotten in trouble before… T-This guy I spilled coffee on. Turned out he was a big shot at some lawyer firm. And… I thought I’d lose him,” his voice croaked silently.
As the pit in his stomach grew larger, Logan knew that realistically, there was very little he could do to help these brothers. He had no sufficient knowledge about the law, whether Remus would even be allowed custody of his younger brother. Honestly, he couldn’t even be sure if Remus was telling the whole truth.
Logan glanced at his watch: 10:46 AM. He wouldn’t make eleven o’clock at this rate, nor would Janus. And yet, he felt an inner conflict between his instinctive strive for punctuality, and the twisting feeling in his stomach that wouldn’t let him leave the bench.
It would be like leaving the brothers to their fate. Which, again, sounded poetically dramatic. 
“...Fuck, sorry.” Remus broke the silence, catching Logan stare at his watch. “I’m sure you got things to do - I dunno why I vented to you all of a sudden. You can just forget I said anything, whatever. We’re gonna be just fine, aren’t we Ro?”
He patted his younger brother on the head and smiled unnaturally wide. Roman glared and his brow furrowed, almost suggesting he’d seen Remus do this before.
“We’re just strangers, after all,” Remus shrugged, and Logan almost felt caught as Remus seemed to have sensed what he was thinking earlier. “...For all you know, I could be a kidnapper, a killer.”
If Logan was really honest with himself, just based on first impressions and premature judgments, he wouldn’t have pictured someone looking like Remus to be reliable. He might have even believed Roman was the victim of whatever Remus had dragged him into.
But… on the other hand, Remus could be a victim, too.
“Actually… you don’t strike me as the type.”
Logan smiled, deciding to twist his truth for the sake of… being nice? He wouldn’t have thought he was capable of friendliness after the blunder he’d been through minutes ago. Perhaps it was something about Remus’ energy that made him reconsider his perspective and situation in comparison, albeit in a frustratingly embarrassing manner.
Logan pulled out his phone and opened his message history with Janus.
“I will be running late as well. Shall we postpone our meeting to 12:30 PM?”
As he typed it out and pressed ‘send’, he thought of a proper way to continue the conversation from here. “...For all you know, I could be another big shot at some law firm, ready to sue you.”
Remus snorted, then let out a chuckle that seemed remarkably less tense. “You don’t strike me as the type. You got no slick and too much charm.”
“Charm?” Logan blinked in confusion, his cheeks flushing a little, “Please, as if my stumbling earlier was charming.”
“I mean, looking back on it, you gotta admit it was hilarious,” Remus snickered. “Tripping on a marble and landing your hand in dog shit. Nice aim by the way, Ro.”
“H-Hey!” Flustered, Roman pouted and looked awkwardly at Logan. “I didn’t mean to, really - ”
“It’s okay, please calm down,” Logan said softly. He couldn’t even manage to get angry if he wanted to. He didn’t feel like guilting the kid any more, either. “I suppose… it could be considered humorous.”
“Sounds like the kind of blunder you’d be called names for, for the rest of your life.” Remus laughed and Logan tried to tell himself he meant it as a joke. 
But it stung. The embarrassment always stung, it was always weaponized to use it against him. Even though he had outgrown his teens and never saw his highschool classmates again, Logan felt as if they were still cackling at him from a distance.
Remus must have noticed his silence, because his next remark sounded much warmer - kinder.
“...Speaking of, what is your name?” 
Logan locked his phone and met Remus’ eyes, seeing Roman’s pair of similar green eyes - like marbles - peering out from the side. 
It was just a name, after all. As long as Logan remained careful with his personal information hereafter, Remus wouldn’t be able to use it against him.
He could put a little faith in this stranger, for now. As the stranger had done with him.
He leaned back on the bench, turning towards the two brothers and enjoying the soft breeze hitting his cheeks.
“It’s Logan,” he smiled. “And… it’s nice to meet you.”
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emsiemaefander · 1 year
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You know what I really want in the finalle. A "you make us better" type monologue from AA but from Remus saying it to Logan. Remus is right when he says that he is the opposite of rationality. So to hear that you're being listened to by the most likely side not to listen to Logan would just... Ugh yeah I need it so badly.
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Logan- *to Remus* It must be hard being stuck in here all the time.
Remus- I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.
Source: She-ra
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loganslowdown4 · 9 months
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C!Thomas: Can I have some dopamine?
Logan: Dopamine machine is broken.
Thomas: Then can I have some serotonin?
Logan: Serotonin machine is also broken.
Thomas: Well, what DO you have then?
Logan: Well, I-
Remus: *cutting in* Here’s that one line from the Bananaphone song, but you’re gonna think about it for 3 hours gay!
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keter-class-anomaly · 9 months
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aaaaand it's time for yet another tss doodles dump, (not to mention what i have planned for later because i'm insane)
all of working through intrusive thoughts was this btw:
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patton when the dark sides/ patton when someone shit talks themselves
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i uhh i i love janus i love him-
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where there is a drawing of janus there is a slightly more fem drawing of janus nearby:
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uum. patton doing taxes.
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virgil with two sets of eyes because. because i have deaseases that make me draw characters with two sets of eyes-
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i have more. but. this is all i'm putting in this post >:]]]
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fangirlwriting-stories · 10 months
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Protector
Chapter One
Author’s Note: And welcome back to your regularly scheduled regularly scheduled program!
Alright, summary that's as non graphic as I can make it!  In the last chapter, Virgil goes to rescue Janus, then buys Janus time to fix the barrier by shifting to take his place.  Janus realizes he's messed up just a tiny bit, and he and the rest of the sides and Thomas all go down to rescue Virgil, who's being tortured by the other sides there, using an idea Remus gave them back when he was down there alone and trying anything to stop being bored.  Remus rescues him by killing Malice, but Virgil still asks Remus to kill him rather than recover from the injuries he has, so Remus does.  It ends there, and Virgil's now out of commission for a little bit.
Also, hopefully last heads up, but there's not going to be a chapter next week because I'll be out of internet range.  This should be the last time, and there should (knock on wood) be a chapter every week until the story is done after that.
Chapter Thirty-Three:
Janus had locked Cruelty and Positivity up in their rooms for the indefinite future.  He said he’d locked Malice’s door prematurely, so he’d be locked up when he reappeared.  Remus wasn’t sure why the hell he told him.  It’s not like that was enough to make up for everything.
Virgil’s door would likely be gone for another week, meaning Remus was alone, again, and he hated it.  Everyone was giving him a wide berth, which he wanted, obviously, but it meant he had nothing and no one.  The creatures he made in The Imagination got boring after a while, especially since all his ideas were apparently so useless.
Well.  Not that Malice would think so.
Remus tried to distract himself from the crushing guilt and loneliness by giving Thomas tons of horrible ideas about what could happen, doing his part while Virgil wasn’t here.
Tommy-boy was a bit of a mess, as he always was when Virgil was gone.  They were all kind of spending most of their time watching him.  Remus did his part entirely from his room so he wouldn’t have to see any of their stupid faces, and lived his life under dark of night like the horrifying monster that he was.  He didn’t really expect that to work forever, but he also didn’t expect anyone who found him due to getting a glass of water or midnight snack to stick around for very long.
He certainly didn’t expect Patton to be the side that stuck around.
“Hi kiddo,” came a soft voice, and Remus glared over his shoulder on instinct to find Patton standing at the bottom of the steps in kitten-covered pajamas.
“I thought I might find you up at this time,” Patton said.  “Since no one saw you around during the day.”
“You’re stalking me?” Remus asked, glaring at Patton some more.
“Of course not kiddo, I was just looking for you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” Remus snapped, turning away as if he had something else to do.  “And don’t call me kiddo.  It’s not like you care about me.”
“That isn’t true.”
Remus whirled back around instantly.  “Yes it is,” he hissed.  “Don’t act like you would have been doing this if what had happened hadn’t happened.”
Patton winced.  “That’s… probably true,” he admitted.  “But it did happen, so it’s kind of irrelevant, isn’t it?”
“Says who?” Remus said, crossing his arms.
“Would you rather I go on being cold and distant?” Patton asked.
“Yes.  You don’t get to claim a relationship with me just because you all suddenly saw the consequences of your own actions.”
Patton narrowed his eyes in concern.  “I’m not trying to claim a relationship with anyone, Remus.”
“Then what are you trying to do?”
Patton crossed his arms.  “You’re hurting,” he said.  “You’ve been hurt.  You shouldn’t be left alone.”
“Why, because it’ll make you feel bad?”
“No,” Patton said gently.  “Because it will make you feel bad.”
Remus glared away and said nothing.
“Do you want me to leave?” Patton said.  “I came here to offer some company, but I will leave if you want me to.”
Remus looked suspiciously over again.  “It’s the middle of the night.”
“And?”
Remus didn’t say anything, but after a second he glared away again.  “If you stay you say absolutely nothing,” he snapped.
Patton nodded and sat down on the chair nearby, then didn’t say anything.
Remus glared away again, but Patton didn’t leave.  Instead, they both sat there for a very long time, neither of them saying anything.  It felt more than a little awkward, but Patton still didn’t leave.  And finally, after a couple hours, the sun started to rise, and Remus sank out to his room.
Well, he supposed whatever the hell that was beat sitting there alone.  He still didn’t get what Virgil saw in Patton.
Remus knew he was wrong for letting Patton stay.  It was giving the others ideas that they could approach him too, as evidenced by the knock on his door coming way too soon to be Virgil.
Remus waved an extra lock into existence on his door and rolled over in his bed.  It was noon.  He wasn’t getting up yet.
The knock came again.  Remus groaned and shoved a pillow over his ears.
It came a third time.
Remus screamed through his teeth, threw his covers back, and climbed out of bed and stormed over to the door.
“I was sleeping,” Remus snapped as he opened it.  He didn’t stop glaring when he saw it was Logan, but he also didn’t start glaring harder, like he would have with Roman or Janus.
“I apologize,” Logan said.  “I did not mean to wake you up.  What would be a better time to come back?”
“Never,” Remus spat.
Logan hesitated.  “I… do not think that would be wise.”
“I don’t want to see any of your fucking faces.”
“I can certainly understand that perspective,” Logan said.  “But I do not think staying here all by yourself is a good decision.”
“Oh, so you all were checking on Anxiety after he ducked out, then?”
Logan winced.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.  Leave me the fuck alone then.”
He slammed the door in Logan’s face and didn’t get a knock again.
That apparently didn’t mean Logan was done, however, because he woke up a couple hours later to the sound of a piece of paper being slipped under his door.
He sat upright immediately and climbed out of bed again to get it.  Didn’t these idiots know how to transfer paper quietly?
The letter was from Logan, which didn’t really surprise him.
What did surprise him were the contents.
 Remus,
 I am not foolish enough to believe that the changing of my behavior will endear me to you.  However, that is not why you change behavior, so I am going to proceed with doing it anyway.  I hope at least that it will not anger you.
 Remus scoffed but kept reading.
 It is true that I did not treat Anxiety well following his decision to duck out.  I believed you and Anxiety to be a threat, and so I treated you as such.  I do not wish to lie to you, so I will say I don’t think this was necessarily unfair of me, though I do regret how it has seemed to harm you both.
I offered to Anxiety a few days ago a chance to talk if he wished, as I suspected you both had been through something traumatic and I knew that it is important to talk about those things.
 Remus narrowed his eyes.  As if Logan cared whether or not he and Virgil had gone through something.  As if Remus would want to talk to him when he obviously wouldn’t care.
 I would like to extend—
 Ha, like that erection medicine.
 —that same offer to you.  You are of course not obligated to talk, nor would I want you to if you did not wish to.  However, as I said to Anxiety, it is important to know that the offer is there.  So, I have made it.
 Sincerely,
Logan
 Remus glared down at the paper for a moment.  That was stupid.  It was a stupid thing for Logan to do.  As if Remus was going to talk about what he’d gone through to anyone other than Virgil.  They didn’t have the right to know.  That kind of thing needed trust.  And Remus trusted all of them about as much as he cared about them.
He crumpled the letter up and tossed it in his garbage can, the one that wasn’t being used to grow mold, and stormed out of his room and across the commons in order to bang on Logan’s door.
Logan showed up remarkably quickly, and looked surprised to see Remus there.
“I,” Remus said, jabbing a finger against Logan’s chest.  “Don’t want to talk to anyone.  I don’t understand why the concept of leave me alone is so hard for you idiots to get.”
“Isolating yourself is not a good idea, Remus,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses.
“Well lucky for me I don’t have to do shit!  You all were already considerate enough to do that for me!  So at least have the decency to finish what you started and back the hell off.”
He stormed back to his room and slammed his door shut before Logan could say anything in response.
Remus was going to kill someone, he’d decided.  He didn’t know what had made everyone decide that it was okay to interact with him, but it was idiotic whatever it was, and Remus had decided he was going to kill someone over it.
It was probably going to be Roman, because more than Patton’s sympathy or Logan’s guilt, he didn’t want Roman’s pity.  He hadn’t wanted it before and he didn’t want it now.  What he wanted was for Roman to go back to hating him.  Obviously that’s what he wanted.  They were brothers, they were supposed to hate each other.
…Virgil was different.
He didn’t want Roman’s pity and he didn’t want his pitiful attempts to fix things and he didn’t want whatever the hell this was.
Remus tossed another brainstorming paper into the fire pit in front of him and poked it with a stick, humming.  He’d lost track of which of those were Roman’s and which were his own.  He supposed it didn’t really matter at this point.
“Remus?”
“Sorry not sorry I burned your shit,” Remus said without turning around.
“I… was trying to see if you wanted to add anything to the idea,” Roman said, walking up to stand next to him.
“Don’t patronize me.”
“I was going to do it before what happened too, Remus.”
Remus stopped poking with the stick.  “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying.”
Remus poked harshly with the stick again and didn’t say anything.
“Why would you burn your ideas?” Roman asked, looking over at him.
Remus kept poking at the fire.  “I burned your ideas too.  It’s all shit and none of it matters.”
“That’s not true.”
“Says who?”
“Says me.  You know, because I’ve kind of built a lot of Thomas’ career off of some of those ideas, and I’d like to think it’s not all shit that doesn’t matter.”
Remus kept poking and didn’t say anything.
After a minute, Roman turned away.  “And I’d appreciate you not saying that too,” he said quietly.  “Those ideas weren’t exactly easy to come up with, you know.”
Remus jabbed a log over onto its side.  “Sorry.”
Roman turned to face him again in confusion.  “What?”
Remus moved one of the pieces of paper that had fallen to the side around until it caught ablaze.  “Sorry.”
“Why… are you apologizing?”
“Shut up, no I’m not.”
Roman didn’t say anything for a long moment.
“You didn’t have to burn them.”
“What, you gonna hit me for it?”
“What?  No!”
Roman said it with such immediacy and vitriol that it was obvious what he was thinking about.
Remus shot him a look.  “Shut the hell up.”
“I… I don’t want to hurt you, Remus.”
Remus glared back at the fire and started poking at it again.
“…I’m sorry,” Roman whispered, and Remus went still.
“I’m sorry,” he said again.  “I should have looked closer.”
Remus clenched the stick tighter.
“I mean Anxiety told you, didn’t he?  I would think he would—”
“Yes he told me,” Remus snapped, poking harshly enough to send a shower of sparks up into the air.  “He told me you’re a pathetic little baby who can’t even be bothered to decide whether he cares or not.  If they bothered you why didn’t you come check?”
“I was scared,” Roman said quietly.
Remus laughed.  “Yeah, me too, asshole.”
Roman winced.  “Not of them,” he murmured.  “Of you.”
Remus’ breath caught.  “I didn’t do anything,” he said weakly.  “I didn’t.”
“No, of course not, Remus,” Roman said, like it wasn’t even a question, like Remus hadn’t caused all sorts of new creative problems just because he couldn’t deal with being bored for a little while.
“I was scared of… you taking my place,” Roman said, looking up at the sky.  “And I know that’s not fair, not even close to the kind of stuff you were dealing with.  I just… I don’t know.  I was still scared.  That they’d decide your ideas were better than mine, or that you would be better at coming up with them, and then they’d decide they didn’t want me anymore.”
Remus threw the stick into the fire and threw his head back and laughed.  “Well that’s hilarious,” he said, turning a glare to Roman, who looked a little startled.  “That’s real funny Ro, because from what I remember, I wasn’t the one who took Janus from you.”
Roman’s eyes widened.  “Remus—”
“What the hell do you know about losing people?  I can tell you a few things about that!  It sucks!  And you were kind of right to be afraid of it, so fuck you!”
“I—” Roman reached a hand out, and then dropped it again.  “I’m sorry.”
“For what?  Are you sorry that you feel bad?  Is that it?  Because that’s a pretty shitty apology!”
“What?  No, I— I can’t be sorry because I hurt you?”
Remus glared back at the fire, half debating reaching in to grab his stick back.  “Yeah, right.  Since when do you care about me?”
“Since I started having nightmares about you getting hurt,” Roman said quietly.  “And my brain was stupid and just decided to interpret that as missing my brother.”
Remus crossed his arms.  “Well you should have come and said hi.  Maybe noticed all the bruises.”
“I know,” Roman murmured.
Remus glared over at him.  “I don’t forgive you.”
Roman blinked.  “I’m not asking you to forgive me.”
“That wouldn’t make your sad little prince ego feel better?”
Roman looked away.  “It’s not about me, Remus.”
“Isn’t everything?  You’re the creative one Thomathy wants, and the one Janus wants, and the one everyone wants.”
Roman bit his lip.  “I think Anxiety prefers you.”
“Anxiety isn’t here.”
Roman was silent for a long moment.
“For what it’s worth,” he murmured finally.  “Janus hasn’t left his room since we all came back here.  I don’t think he’s ever felt worse about anything.  I know that’s probably not worth much.”
“It isn’t.”
Roman nodded slightly.
“If you don’t want me to forgive you then why are you here?”
“I was checking on you.  I thought… I don’t know.  We could brainstorm.”
Remus kicked the firepit.  “Whoops.”
“It’s okay.  Maybe a break is best right now anyway.”
“Go away now.”
“Okay,” Roman said softly.  “I… you can always talk to me, Remus.  If you want.”
“Don’t count on it.”
Roman nodded again and sank out.
Remus didn’t know how to feel about the idea that Janus hadn’t left his room since they got back.  Mostly it pissed him off, honestly.  Virgil was going to be back soon, and if Janus was still hiding in his room like a wimp it would make Virgil concerned or something, and Remus was not going to let him spend time worrying about Janus when he should be recovering.
He’d blame that for why he showed up there one morning.
Janus was watching Thomas over at his desk, leaning heavily on one hand, apparently not having noticed Remus at all yet.
“Hey.”
Janus jumped so badly that he knocked a handful of things to the floor, and spun around with a hand pressed to his chest, breathing heavily.
Remus raised an eyebrow, trying to convey ‘Really?’ with his eyes.
Janus pushed himself up with the back of his chair.  “Remus?” he said weakly.  “What… what are you doing here?”
“You’re not going to be in here when Virgil shows up.”
Janus flinched.  “Remus—”
“You are not, do you hear me?  He’s just going to get worried, because for some reason he ‘cares about you’ and ‘thinks you’re worth saving’ and doesn’t think you ‘deserve everything that’s coming to you.’”
Janus trailed his gaze on the floor.  “He’s wrong.”
“I know that.  But he’s Virgil, you know how stubborn he gets when he’s really decided on something.”
A crumpled paper version of a smile crossed Janus’ face.
“So I’m going to say this once.  You’re going to get the fuck over yourself in the next couple days, and by the time Virgil gets out here, you’re going to be doing your job like a good little Deceit who knows how to suppress entire parts of his personality.  Capiche?”
Janus nodded.  “Okay.”  He didn’t say anything else.
Remus clenched his hands into fists.  “Okay?”
Janus looked up hesitantly.  “Yes?”
“You’re just gonna do what I tell you?”
Janus blinked.  “Do you want me to do something else?”
“I want you— you do not get to be devastated by this,” Remus snapped.  “It is your fault.  You don’t get to be upset.”
“I…” Janus looked lost.  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Well, Remus didn’t know what he wanted him to say either, but he wasn’t going to let Janus know that.  Instead, he summoned his morningstar and hurled it over towards the wall, knocking one of Janus’ posters down.
Janus startled and gripped the back of the chair he was next to until his knuckles turned white.
“I’m sorry,” he said, which was the wrong thing, because Remus might not know what he wanted but he didn’t want that.
“No!” he screamed.  “You’re not!”
But Janus just shook his head.  “Yes I am, Remus,” he said.  “I don’t— I can’t even begin to express to you how much I’m sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Remus spat.  “It won’t be enough and you shouldn’t try!”
Janus nodded and took a small step back.  “Okay.”
“Stop it!  Stop just— just bending to my whims!”
“I don’t know what you want from me,” Janus said weakly.
“I want you to not have left!” Remus screamed.  He walked forward and shoved Janus back into his desk, knocking more things onto the floor.  “I want you to have listened when we begged you to stay!  Things were fine,” he shoved Janus again, “when you were there.  Things were manageable and it was fine.  Then everyone decided they liked you, and Thomas decided he liked you, and you just decided ‘oh well who gives a fuck about Virgil and Remus anymore, huh?  It’s not my fault they can only be marginally safe when I’m around!  It’s not my fault that they had to learn how to do first aid on themselves at ten years old!  It’s not my fault that Virgil brings Remus to sleep leaning against Janus’ bedroom door because that’s the only way they’ll be left alone!  No, I have to think about Thomas.  Never mind that I’ve been able to do my job living here until now!  Nevermind that Virgil and Remus are part of Thomas too, and more than that, I’m supposed to be in charge of them so it absolutely is my fault if they get hurt!’”
Janus was leaning back against his desk now, and he tried to wipe discreetly at his eyes as Remus finished screaming, ending up panting with clenched fists shaking at his sides.  He expected Janus to say he hadn’t known, or that he would have done something if he had, but he just said nothing.
“Well?  Say something!”
“Like what?” Janus croaked.  “What am I supposed to say to make this better for you, Remus?”
Remus buried his hands in his hair, yanked on it, and screamed.
“Don’t do that,” Janus said weakly, moving forward pulling Remus’ hands down.
Remus smacked his hands away.  “Don’t touch me.”
“Don’t hurt yourself.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
Janus dropped his hands, but didn’t move away, meaning he’d probably stop Remus if he pulled his hair again.  So, Remus moved back himself, and leaned back against Janus’ door, then slid to the ground.
“I am never,” he said vehemently.  “Going to forgive you.”
Janus swallowed.  “Good.”
“Stay away from me.  Don’t ever talk to me unless I say you can.  And have your fucking act together by the time Virgil wakes up.”
Janus nodded.  “Okay.”
Remus glared up at Janus and spit in his face.
Janus blinked in shock, but after a second just moved back slightly and wiped it off. 
Remus grabbed the doorknob and used it to hoist himself up.  He opened it and slammed it shut behind him.  Everyone else was out in the commons and staring at him as he did, probably alerted by all the yelling.
Remus gave them a murderous glare and stormed off to his room.
...
Chapter Thirty-Four
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edupunkn00b · 8 months
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Stimming!
As was clear from the voting and from the little word cloud (out of five choices, 'Stimming' won over 55% of the vote), our first prompt has already been decided!
Stimming
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stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming
stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming
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bennyyrabbit · 1 year
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Imagining a universe where Remus and Logan conspired to put the Logan Frankenstein Monster Head in Remus' Monster Smash look to see if any fans would take the opportunity to Intrulogical That Shit (you cannot convince me that Remus doesn't read Sanders Sides porn fics) and then it somehow spiraled into trying to convince the others that they are, in fact, together, and that was why they used the LFMH in Remus' Halloween look (this happens because Virgil, at Remus' demand, checked the Intrulogical Tumblr tag, and they saw The Post from March 28th and Virgil was like, Yeah, Right, and Remus automatically was like "What? What's so unbelievable about Logan and me?" and VIrgil is just like. Everything).
So, now they're stuck pretending to be in love with each other to convince Virgil that @infectedyl4n was right, and it hasn't been too long, but Logan and Remus are BOTH fanfic readers and they know where this can lead, and NEITHER are happy about that possibility.
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intrulogicalweek · 10 months
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Intrulogical Week Prompt Poll #6
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Top three vote-getters will move on to the next round!
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