I won’t be able to make any posts or anything for around a month and hopefully no later. I got a lot of major life stuff going on and I won’t have my computer with me for that time. I’m going to try my best to return as fast as I can!
NANI GUESS WHOS GOING TO ITALY THIS SUMMER. THIS GIRL, AND GUESS WHOS PROBABLY GOING TO CRY AT ALL THE SPOTS THAT MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS DIED AS MY MOM AND AUNTS LOOK AT ME WEIRD. ME, the hype is building. I will go to Rome and possibly Venice but roundtrips to Europe are confusing as fuck
That’s fantastic!!! Make sure you plan everything ahead!!! Have fun, but stay alert!! You’re going to have to take pictures!!!! Enjoy every second of it but be safe!!! I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career and I will use them! I’m so excited for you!!!!💕💕💕💕💕
I wanted to say I love your blog and I think you're a great person! You're in your late 20s right?? Do you have anything you can share that helped you pay for college or your medication when you hit tough times? I have chronic pain myself and I feel lost 😢
Now that that’s out of the way–lol! I’ve done some immoral stuff to pay for college and my medication (again fuck the American health care/education system). Please note that some of the following things I’ve done came down to survival (due to abusive situation among other things) and I don’t reccomend for everybody.
1. I traded medications with dealers and did free services for people that could afford my meds for me. Ie. Backyard work, babysitting, house keeping etc.
2. I sold used panties. That’s as far as I’ve gone with trading anything sexual for favors. I got a messed up story about a college prof that found out about my predicament but that’s for another time.
3. To save up money to afford meds and doctor visits, I’d steal food when I could at markets and if I wanted to go to a movie or something to treat myself, I’d sneak in.
4. I’d hitch rides with friends to save and then would pay back for gas money later.
5. I’ve sold a lot of precious items that can’t be replaced to cover my living costs so I could get away from my abusive home and to have food.
6. I have gone to food banks and churches to get free meals.
7. I’ve been in illegal fights with gambling involved.
8. I eventually got onto food stamps so I could put food money to bills and meds.
9. When I had money I’d invest into vending at conventions to sell my artwork.
10. Ask around if people have spare change but I’d make it look like I was getting something from a vending machine so people wouldn’t know I was begging for money so I could go to the hospital later.
11. If you have a planned parenthood nearby they usually have awesome local resources to help you with sexual health and living needs.
There’s a crap ton of other things I’ve done and some I’m not too proud of but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive.
My advice to you hon in the end is to get creative. Think outside the box and don’t limit yourself if you’re penny pinching to make it and to cover your health. No one’s perfect. If you can do something that’s in your comfort zone, please do it hon. Don’t force yourself to follow things how I did them (or anyone else for that matter). You are brave and I love you and I know you’re gonna get through this 💙
but also .. living in a tropical climate 😳🥰🤤 (this post brought to u by "it's currently -20C gang")
hahah i feel you though, i absolutely detest the cold (mainly cause of my anaemia which makes things worse) so i’m probs never gonna live in a temperate/ straight up cold climate…i’d probably die no lie.
you are a true soldier and i admire you cause the lowest temp i’ve ever experienced was 19 degrees celsius and my parents had to wrap me up in like 10 blankets cause i couldn’t stop trembling 😭😭😭😭
If you’ve been following the news these last days,i’m pretty sure that you know about the coronavirus that has been going around.
First thing’s first, it is not a super deadly disease that if it touches you,you’re automatically going to be dead or a zombie. This is the real life,not Train to Busan. But also,Coronavirus is a serious respiratory disease,like a stronger pneumonia,that still doesn’t have a cure,so you need to be careful about it. It can be lethal to infants,elderly or people with autoimmune deficiencies,in generally people who can get ill pretty quickly and severly. If you live in Western countries (and most of the OECD countries),the chances of you getting ill are really low,but still,you can never be too safe.
•Please,wear masks in crowded areas like airports,public transports,train stations,gatherings and everywhere where a crowd can be.
•Use hand sanitizer and wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water for more than 20 seconds. Be sure that you wash them well.
•Don’t touch your eyes,nose or mouth with unwashed hands.
•Don’t pass water bottles,dishes or cutlery that you’ve used to people,it minimizes the chances of contamination.
•If it’s not necessary,don’t eat out or don’t go out.
Also,this is different from the topic but it still touches it. Please,please,please,stop the racist remarks against asian people,especially now. I went out saturday and there was an asian lady standing beside me in the line at the cashier,and one guy told his son “Don’t go near her,she might contaminate you. Her kind brought this upon us.” This made me fucking sick to the core,but i didn’t dare to say anything and i regret it. I saw the lady feel bad for something she didn’t actually even do. So please,keep your racist and ignorant remarks to yourself. The people in China have been alreadly going through much stress lately,they don’t need to hear all of your racist stuff too.
I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today I’m not going to binge today
I’ve sat on this for a few hours because I find it really hard. One part of me wants to grab you and tell you that this guy is bad news, but I also don’t want to alienate you.
But maybe let’s go through this.
First off, I’m glad your boundaries have been respected, I was very worried when you started talking about that.
I would be a hypocrite if I said I’d never had an age gap like this, my first consensual sexual experience was when I was 17 and he was 24 and while I didn’t feel he had a particular power dynamic over me it might have been because he had the maturity of a baby’s anal gland.
However, there were still a lot of firsts for me that were not for him and I ended up acting the fool. Over a guy. I did that thing where I got overly invested in something he was only casually invested about and I got jealous and it is all cringe to look back on. I also did more than I wanted to do, which to be fair I would have done with anyone regardless of age gap because I just really wanted to feel…wanted.
But that is my way of saying that these dynamics and imbalances don’t always have to be obvious like “they have so much life experience and they use it to manipulate me and get what they want” and it might not always cause long term harm (apart from cringe) but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
6 years sometimes isn’t a lot, but sometimes…it really is. You’ve likely just finished high school and he could have finished college and been working in his field for a while. You do a lot of formation of who you are in those years, they are important years.
And I know that not all of these gaps turn out abusive or toxic or bad, but in my experience the older party usually has a younger partner for one of two reasons.
1. They like to have control and have found that people their age are too “difficult”, ie demand equity, so they instead find people they think will be easier to control and thus they don’t have to compromise as much
2. They are just incredibly immature, no one their age will date them because you have to take care of them and no 24 year old wants to baby another 24 year old. So they seek younger partners who aren’t really expecting them to be stable and self sufficient. However you are likely to notice it the older you get, the more you mature and they stay the same, forcing you into the parental role as you baby them despite being the younger partner.
Now, your potential relationship already has problems. You don’t feel like you will be able to tell your parents or even perhaps your friends. This is a really big problem.
If this relationship does turn abusive, or even just take on regular toxic elements that some relationships can…you really need a support network. You need people to help you see red flags and you need to sometimes be able to talk through your problems with sympathetic ears.
Also, relationships shouldn’t be based on lies. If he is willing to go along with lying to your friends and family I would consider that a red flag on HIS part. Because he is a grown adult and should not be hiding his relationship from his younger partner’s family, ick.
Maybe this guy is a good fit for you, I don’t know. But I don’t think it is the right time. If you two really like each other maybe you can try and be friends for now and see how you feel when you are 19, would you feel comfortable telling your parents then?
If you want just my basic answer “is 18 and 24 a bad age gap?” Well, it doesn’t sit right with me. I’m not going to say someone is definitely a villain here but I’m 30 and I don’t think I would want to date a 24 year old.
My advice is give it time, give yourself time. In my honest opinion dating when you are still a teen can be a waste of time there is so much else you can be doing that is more fun, less dramatic and restrictive and way more illuminating and self fulfilling.
If you choose to pursue this relationship, and I can’t stop you, then please tell your parents and friends even if they don’t approve. I do not want you in a relationship with some older guy and then not having anyone to support you of things go badly.
But again, I would check for red flags like…is he willing to hide this relationship? Why?
Just, be careful hun. At the end of the day I want you to be safe, that’s what really matters.
Please feel free to message me again, I really don’t like the idea of you cut off from the world. Be safe ❤