"Don't dare her to be different, she already is. Dare her to be herself."
I really love this quote.
I need to find the strength to embrace my true self. Time and time again I mirror those around me, and disguise myself as something I think people want me to be. I become a diluted version of the bleakest parts of me; void of any individuality, personality or substance.
The mask I choose to wear is dull compared to the raw joy that lies beneath it. But, I wear it for fear that my smile will intimidate those around me; and my sparkle blind them. I hide in hopes of becoming a more palatable and acceptable version of 'myself', I have lost all the light and colour from my world. I am camouflaged, invisible.
I want to find myself, my true self. I want to turn the light back on and be unapologetically me.
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Hello, big internet world.
I am Captain PirateFace.
Lifetime writer and poet.
Survivor of stupid shit and a million broken hearts... All my own, of course.
Below, you will find a sample of my silly attempts at poetry and prose. And my purging of deep, beautiful, and sometimes painful thoughts and feelings.
And on the bottom of this post, if you feel so inclined to do so, you can find a link to purchase my book of poetry.
I, of course, cherish and appreciate any support you can give.
Love, #CaptainPirateFace
Again, of you would like to help give yoir support and purchase my current book of poetry here is the link below. Much Love.
Check out #CaptainPirateFace's book!
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When a Man Writes a Poem
After he writes a poem, a man may talk
to his dog with a great loneliness
as if, just then, he had given away all
his worthwhile thoughts. And if he has no dog,
he may turn on the radio
quietly when he feels so alone to confirm
that somebody else knows how to write words made
of stone. If he has no radio,
he may sit on the porch at midnight,
breeze in his face, the smells of summer,
a glass of whiskey. If there is no whiskey,
then beer. He may suck the bottle
clean with his thirst. Later,
lying awake, he may hear locusts chirping,
crying out to find their mates. If there are no locusts,
then the blue noise of June
that tells him life is bigger than any word he
writes. He knows his sadness will only get
worse, according to some law.
So he writes another poem,
and repeats the cycle
all over again.
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The priestess of
patience. Waited
twenty years,
"Penelope" by Bex Hainsworth, pg. 20
Visit the minison zine archives to read more writing from Issue 16!
#theminisonzine #poetry #TheMinisonProject
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a small part from a poem I’ve written 2
“I never saw her coming. I never thought my emptiness will not be in vain – or the endless endured pain – of searching for wholeness in a lifetime of sole remains.
people were blind-sighted; she was chosen. I was present; third-eye open. My soul suddenly yearned for hers; eternal devotion.
Anointed — she stirred emotions within me I thought were deceased from time immemorial – everlastingly gone and broken.”
-Mehad
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20
ugly ; im so tired of looking in the mirror
and not seeing the goddess I want to be
hiding my skin with an array of masks
gorging my eyes out
when I look at us
me and myself in the mirror
I crack myself open into two
hoping one of the other versions of me
sprouts and turns into a butterfly
this dysmorphia is causing me to go mad
perishing my self
to the dungeon of my room
hiding in the tomb
away from the sun
away from the world
so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain
that my insecurities give
'mom, why cant I be pretty?'
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Memories are what warm you up from the inside.
But they're also what tears you apart.
Haruki Murakami
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Lockdown, Lockdown, Lock the Door
I remember a song I sang
in kindergarten class
about the six flags
Texas was once ruled by,
the lyrics in pretty colors
on the chalkboard
so we wouldn’t forget the words.
Spain, France, Mexico,
the Republic of Texas,
the Confederate, the United States of America!
I remember the tune to this day,
thirty-two years later.
It gets stuck in my head
when I try to sleep sometimes,
repeating over and over.
But the song on the board
has changed in kindergarten classrooms.
The five-year-olds have a new song
in pretty colors
that they memorize,
one that will play in their heads
decades later when they try to sleep.
It’s written in colorful letters,
playful and innocent,
like any ordinary song
a kid needs to memorize
for school lessons.
Lockdown, lockdown, lock the door.
Shut the lights off, say no more.
Go behind the desk and hide.
Wait until it’s safe inside.
Lockdown, lockdown, it’s all done.
Now it’s time to have some fun!
A routine rhyme kids must learn
for the legitimate possibility
a man brings a gun into their school
to hunt them as if they were meat.
A routine rhyme
for a normalized crime.
And if the kids must one day
sing this song nearly inaudibly in their classroom,
a song they cannot truly comprehend,
their slaughter will only be met with
thoughts and prayers.
Thoughts and prayers.
The words no longer
have any meaning
when we give our children
our thoughts and prayers,
but we don’t care about them enough
to keep them safe.
Our children’s lives matter so little
that we prefer to refuse
any gun control
than we prefer
to defend them.
We protect our unrestricted weapons
over the lives of the innocent and pure.
We have made our choice,
and we should no longer feign despair while
conveying our worthless and hollow
thoughts and prayers.
We have the audacity to call ourselves
the land of the free
when we no longer have the freedom
to even leave our homes
without putting ourselves
in needless peril.
Our children will never know what
the land of the free
ever truly felt like
with guns having more freedoms
than they do.
Lockdown, lockdown, lock the door.
Shut the lights off, say no more.
Go behind the desk and hide.
Wait until it’s safe inside.
Lockdown, lockdown, it’s all done.
Now it’s time to have some fun!
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