#post college life

[runfast-runfar]

Life Lately ~ June 2023 ~

- I’ve been out of residential treatment and in PHP five days a week for 1.5 weeks now. It’s been a rollercoaster, that is for sure. 

- I miss work so much. Like, so so much. It’s hard to explain bc I don’t miss the work itself that much, but I love the people I am around at work. My closest friend is also someone I work with, and so it’s been sad knowing I don’t get to go on walks for coffee, and randomly catch up throughout the day. I am looking at another ~4 weeks in PHP (meaning being out of work), and then I will step down to IOP for a while. The potential problem with IOP is it is 3 days a week, and I will have to leave work two of those days quite early (i’ll have to leave at 2:05pm and then the third day, friday, I won’t be able to go into the office at all bc the program is 10am-3:30pm fridays. That is a big ask considering they have been giving me this whole time off, full pay, to do this program. I just want this process to be over. I want to just go back to my life and be done with all of this treatment. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting. 

- As ready as I am to go back to work, I also am so nervous for it. I am anxious to be around that many people again (there are ~75-80 people in our office). I have gained a pretty significant amount of weight atm from refeeding/my weight not having stabilized yet. I LOVE my therapist at my PHP program (her name is Jess and I talked to her each week when I was in residential, she just wasn’t my official therapist until I got to PHP) and I want to get to keep seeing her forever lol! I know I will get to keep seeing her during IOP but I also am a little worried if work doesn’t let me do IOP/take the needed time off I may have to leave against medical advice and not complete IOP. And that would mean not seeing Jess which would be very difficult for me. So it’s just a bit of an up in the air clusterfuck atm. 

- Some happy things are happening too though. My brother, our mutual friend and I are going on 3 apartment tours this upcoming saturday and I am SO SO excited and ready to be moving out, so fingers crossed one of these places works and we get it asap bc living at home is rough. 

- I am dog sitting for Finn and I LOVE my time with him! He is the best pal ❤️

- It was my best friends birthday and I made her a card that I painted and I haven’t done anything art related in a while and it felt nice to do. I need to do it more. 

- We do cute little fun activities in PHP often, and I got to make a little sand sensory “garden” and I love it! I am leaving it at program for the time being to play with there, but when we move out I am oddly excited to put it in my new room lol!! 

- And then the Taylor Swift concert is a little over a month away and I am SO EXCITED (also SO NERVOUS!) I was originally going with my brother (I coerced him to go with me) but my friend is able to come now, which I am so excited about, but it also made me weirdly extremely nervous too. She’s my closest friend and I love her very much and am so glad she’s coming. But I’ve never been in a social setting like this with a friend honestly ever. I haven’t had many friends since I was a little kid, and I’m nervous about it. I’m nervous to be in a crowd, and I get nervous around friends, even close friends, and I am a little worried about being in both those situations at once. I also don’t know how to act.. like I don’t want to be weird and too excited about it bc that’s weird.. but I also don’t want to be too rigid and a buzzkill... ugh.. why am I like this!? So, that’s been a bit stressful and on my mind for the past few days. It’s frustrating too bc it’s not that I don’t want her to come, I really do. I just wish I wasn’t so anxious about everything all the goddamn time. That would be freaking nice. 

- Anyways, no program today since it’s Juneteenth! So I walked down to get coffee with Finn this morning (I also slept in until 8am which is late for me lol), and then I have been laying in bed with Finn all morning! Yesterday I went on my first run in about 4 months now, it was an easy 30 minute run which felt conflicting. I was so happy to be out there again. No back pain, and it just felt like being back “home” in a way. But it was hard because I was running 8+ miles daily and in such better shape then. Okay.. maybe not “better shape” bc eating disorder.. but the difference in athleticism is real and hard to reconcile with. Anyways, went on that run, and then I did my favorite peloton class afterwards. And so today is a rest day. I will do some light yoga later, but I am freaking sore and so it’s been a relaxing day. Although apart from those workouts yesterday I laid in bed all day yesterday too haha! I actually movie marathoned all 6 Scream movies yesterday in bed which was amazingggg lol! I am rewatching Scream 6 now, and then I am going to watch all the Purge movies today! (can you tell i’m on a horror movie kick lol!) 

- Well, I hope you are all doing well, and have a great week ahead of you! 🫶 

#personal #eating disorder recovery #residential treatment #php #post college life #work #art #painting #pets #dogs #finn #life #anorexia #running #runblr #bulimia #addiction #health

[bottlehawk]

"this is my queerplatonic partner. if you didn't know before, a queerplatonic relationship is when - " it's okay. you don't have to explain it to me. they've already prepared me for this subject. i've been here before. they're your moirail

#homestuck #bottlehawk text #2010s highschoolers doing moirallegiance and auspiticizing in real life paving the way for post 2016 college graduate octuplet poly qprs

[archaeaarcana]

why have i started waking up at 5am?? am i not doing enough drugs??

#i first typed 8am bc my brain couldn’t think FIVE AM #post college life #i turned 23 and suddenly i’m a fucking rooster #aging #mornings #dislike

[heartorbit]

revstar emu save me

#please watch revue starlight #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #proseka #Im so mad i wrote 8 million tags stream of consciousness style and then aposted this to the weong account #im not rewriting all that. you get NOTHING. #actually i will say again i have no idea why this kind of blee up on twit please WATCH TEVUE STAKRIGHTBTNGL #i KNOW 4 thiusand of you did not watch it Watch revue starlight Do not speak of yuri unless you partske in the revue #sorry. anyways #the jist of it was ahh the assignments -> making cosplay -> might post it here if i can take a bice photo for once in my life #because im proud of it. as mortifying as it is. #my best friend is cosplaying an im the clown Two lesbians walk into the metro convention centre(is that where toronto comicon is????) #Oh right i was thinking of making little drswings of pjsk charas or at least exs and printing them out in bulk on a dheet of paper #and coloring them in w markers and giving them to people at the pjsk meetup or vendors i get merch from.. #i thought itd be fun. Also i swear to god i have a sheet of like MAGNET paper somewhere i want to make people emu magnets #Ok i fucking for real have to go to sleep i have to get up for class in 5 hours. wuit your college join my emo(daily affirmations)

[muzzleroars]

new college semester somewhere in the mirage universe

#ultrakill #v1 #gabriel #the trees are changing the weather is 60f im going crazy!!!! i love autumn!!!!! #so i wanted to draw something cute...and i got myself back into college so :] #DID i start making up all kinds of backstory for them in the mirage universe bc of this??? maybe!!!! #mostly bc i like post-post-apocalypse stories #and that's basically what i think of this as. just machines and angels and demons dealing with normal life #doodle tag

[reclusivesapphire]

i meant to post these a while ago but i was preoccupied with college applications. enjoy

#octonauts #captain barnacles #peso penguin #kwazii #dashi dog #tweak bunny #shellington #professor inkling #octonauts textposts #i love how the thing getting in the way of me regularly posting about the silly little ocean show for toddlers is college applications #i need to get a life #but i shant

[theology101]

Adaine and Fabian have the most underrated ‘Yes And-‘

Like Kristen was involved with this scene too but like, Adaine and Fabian running around with the Baby Baby Milk as the hosts, honoring that Hallariel and Bill energy via Polite Refinery and Unhinged Honesty

Also Adaine really said “i lost my job? Double fisting cocktails”

#fantasy high junior year #dimension 20 #fantasy high #dimension 20 fhjy #dimension 20 spoilers #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fabian seacaster x adaine abernant #fabadine #fabian aramais seacaster #fabian fantasy high #adaine fantasy high #adaine abernant #adaine o'shaughnessey #adaine x fabian #fabian x adaine #i just think they're neat #I feel like they’re post college end game #they’d have a good time in suburban life

[anewp0tat0]

it doesn't feel real to me fellas. but I don't have time to sit by and chat and unload unfortunately so I'll just drop this and be on my way, cya kind folks very soon ✌️

not professional but I liked how his eye looked goddang it. I knew I was screwing myself but I did it anyway

#don't worry ill actually be screaming in my reblogs now and again if I dont get to make a post soon with my tremendous mound of m #messy words #guyz😫 i watched it 3 days ago and i still cant believe it happened #it's definetly cause i dropped out of the anticipation train for the last like what 5 months? just slapped me like a truck with a hand #bb jeezez christ im so happy fellas it's so goofy and best of all it feels safe(I COULD BE VERY WRONG) #ya know me tho. things in life be pretty tough so i keep my hoping and optimisim for the escapism spaces 🙏😌 #anyway i can't stick around and tag ramble im afriad. if i don't come back soon #at the very least count on me during the summer! #.... but also no way im not atleast watching what everyone will be saying about this season #i have an ambition to draw something small after every episode release. so we'll see! #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji fanart #fanart #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #digital art #weston college arc #black butler anime #kuroshitsuji anime #kuroshitsuji: kishuku gakkou hen

[runfast-runfar]

Some pics from res treatment since the last time I updated. Approximately two more weeks left if all goes well. It’s been both the longest 6 weeks ever and the shortest all in one.

- visited some beautiful places

- lots of animal loving during this program which I looove

- my favorite place on earth: the horse ranch!!! 🐴

#me #life #personal #recovery #mental health #health #residential treatment #eating disorder #anorexia #exercise addiction #post college life #adulting #but failing #lol #animals #horses #equine therapy #is my favorite thing ever

[transkenobis]

I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT NOW!

#combines current mgs fugue state with life during wartime by talking heads dot mp3. voila #metal gear solid #mgs #solid snake #mgs1 #matt draws #i haven't posted a painting since. checks. december. college is no joke lmao

[meanya]

Man I am SICK of adhd, it's always fucking hungry. Feed it Youtube, feed it Playthrough, feed it memes, feed it Drawing, feed it Make A List of Things, feed it Categorization, feed it Art, feed it Song, feed it Scroll, when will it be ENOUGH??

#I dedicated HOURS to doing homework and i did NO HOMEWORK and that is NOT. COOL. #*sighhhh* #man... #adhd vent #adhd #vent post #vent #tw vent #venting #anya rambles #:( #college life #university

[punkitt-is-here]

shoutouts to melatonin fr for making my night owl stay up to 3 am ass become The Snoozer right around when midnight hits. im actually waking up at reasonable times that make me not feel like shit

#for anyone about to say its okay to wake up at 11 AM: absolutely and everyones rhythms are different #BUT #my life (both when im at college and w family) are both focused around like #other people who get up at fucking 5 AM every morning #so when im not awake by 8 am i feel WEIRD #and this feels GOOD #so theres that #anyway #my posts

[emberglowfox]

closing time

#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL #sparks speaks #vent #again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it #long post #edit: fine to rb idgas #ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol #i dont know how i survived the first time #<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely #if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon #the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck. #its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose. #anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out #if youre reading this preciate you. drink water

[ferydraws]

Pretty girls :)

#renee rapp #mean girls #mean girls 2024 #regina george #someone gets hurt #painted this one for my best friend's birthday!!! #BRO I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT BIRTHDAY #she's currently obsessed with rennee rapp and honestly #can you blame her? #sex life of college girls #fanart #this is the only platform imma be posting this one probably #fery draws

[unicyclingdogs]

fairy rulie!!!! :)

#linked universe #lu fanart #lu hyrule #linked universe hyrule #uni art :) #the little guy!!!! #try to render clothes consistently challenge: IMPOSSIBLE‼️‼️ #every drawing i do it differently 😭 #also guys im not going to make it (wearing retainers after months of not wearing them) #like my teeth hurt so bad but I have to keep them in #like when i sleep with them I’ll wake up and take them out so I have to wear them awake 😭😭😭😭 #also I have an ungodly amount of asl homework to do 😭😭😭😭😭 #AND I NEED TO FINISB MY COLLEGE APPLICATION 😭😭😭😭 #transferring colleges is literally so stressful and for what like idk guys im fighting for my life out here and LOSING #anyways…. at least i don’t have class next week bc thanksgiving so that’s probably when I’ll get everything done #like i know I’ll manage but that doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy it 😭 #the duality of man can be seen in my tumblr post vs what I put in the tags 😭 #like it’s funny to me like my main post is like omg here’s the guy!!! 💜❤️💙❤️💜 and my tags are like I CANT DO THIS GUYS 😭 #jeeze ok this is a lotta tags I’ll stop now 👍

[canneddolts]

ARGH

#fun. fact gordon 1 is my sims 2 college gordo #hes in junior year rn….woo!!!!! #ill make another post abt him its veyr fun #half life #my stuff #gordon freeman #halflife #half-life #barney calhoun #hl1 #thats very out of order ough #also i did get new brush its so good #its from one of georg’s brush sets #the inking one..its free……wink #hope u guys like my cursive. heart. its barely writing #i havent been able to come up w captions lately i hope ARGH is good