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#pretty poisons
banana789 · 1 year
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- Reader is best friends with Cheryl and Toni and wants to join the Pretty Poisons. They are having none if it .
' Come on pleeeaaaassseeeeee ' you begged as you followed Cheryl around her and Tonis room while she was getting ready.
'No' she said simply.
'Please !'
No! 'She said sternly
' Whyyyy' You asked pouting.
'Look y/n it's just too dangerous ok, your too innocent, you don't know how to fight and your too sweet.' She said with a smile as she did her mascara.
'What's she too innocent for? ' Toni asked as she walked in.
'You better not be on about a date' Toni said as she crossed her arms giving you a stern look and a small smile.
You cursed under your breath. You were trying to get Cheryl on your side first and then she could persuade Toni. Although you knew Cheryl first Toni was the most protective of you. She saw you as this small shy nerd that she needed to protect (which you kinda were). You and Cheryl came as a pair and she loved you both.
'Y/n here wants to join the Pretty Poisons ' Cheryl explained with a smirk knowing how this would go.
There was a moment silence and you could feel Tonis stare burning into the side of your head. You winced before looking up at her with an innocent smile.
'Soooo that's a yes? Great. ' You tried as you went to run out of the room before getting pulled back by Cheryl and Toni.
'What hey get back here shortie. ' Toni said gripping your arm.
'Do you realise how dangerous being in a gang is! There's no way we're letting you join.' Before you could defend yourself she cut you off.
' No listen . We love you OK your our best friend and if anything happend to you we wouldn't be able to live with ourselves. Cher's right your too innocent and your tiny you wouldn't be able to fight back if anyone tried anything.' She said scared at the thought of you getting hurt.
You let out a huff as you tore your arm away from Toni and looked down at the floor. Deep down you knew she was right.
'Come on Tiny we're sorry' Cheryl said as she tried to get you to look at them .
'You don't control me you know' you said under your breath .
'I know I'm a nerd but I'm not completely helpless' you said as you stormed out and left the house walking to school instead of getting a ride eith the two girls. Sick of their overprotectiveness. You knew they were only trying to help but you wanted to be able to stick up for yourself.
You heard the beep of a horn as you saw
Archie pull up next to you in his dad's truck.
'Hey, do you need lift?' He asked.
'Oh yes please' You said thankful as you climbed in.
'So how come you aren't getting a ride with Cheryl and Toni? ' he asked
'We had a fight' you sighed
'They wouldn't let me join the Pretty Poisons. So I stormed out like a child. ' You laughed putting you head in your hands.
'You wanted to join a gang ?' Archie gasped.
'Why is everyone so shocked, what am I a kid? ' You asked frustrated .
'Look Cheryl and Toni are just protective of you, they've always been like that and if you got hurt in Toni's gang she would blame herself . And Cheryl well she's lost everyone, her brother and her family, all she has left is you and Toni. You can't blame them for being for protective, your so sweet they just don't want you being taken advantage of. 'Archie explained.
As you two drove to school you realised your friend actually had a good point. You and Cheryl had been friends since you were little and you'd helped her get through Jason's death. And as for Toni you were the one that balied on Cheryl at the movies so they could have there first date.
As you and Archie pulled into the school carpark you saw your two best friends stood next to Cheryl's red convertible.
You thanked Archie and walked over to them wracked with guilt.
What if they hated you. All they'd ever done is made you feel loved and you'd thrown it back in their faces.
Deciding to give it some more time you turned around and began walking to class. Before you heard Cheryl's voice behind you.
'Y/N' She yelled .Not an angry yell though, to your surprise.
As you turned around you felt Cheryl body slam into you, her arms wrapping around you tightly. She pulled back and checked you over before slapping you round the back of the head. 'Do that to me again and I sware to god ill tickle you until you can't breathe' She said with a glare and slight smile .
'We figured we'd let you have some time to yourself but then when we drove round school and didn't see you walking we got worried' the redhead explained.
'I'm really sorry red' you said shyly, leaning you head on her shoudler as she pulled you in for another hug.
You noticed Toni hovering behind her with a dissapointed look on her face.
'TT I'm so sorry' You said nearly in tears. As you hid behind Cheryl before she pushed you forward.
You looked up t the pink haired girl.
'I'm so so so so sorry. Please dont be mad at me I didn't mean to hurt you feelings or make you worry. I just don't want to be the helpless neerd you guys always need to protect. I thought that I'd be less of a burden to you guys if I could protect myself' You explained.
'Wait, that's why you wanted to join the Pretty Poisons?' Toni asked giving you a stern look .
Cheryl giggled silently, knowing you'd got yourself in trouble.
Toni grabbed yours and Cheryl's hands and led you both behind a tree, out of the way of everyone else.
She let go of your hands and looked you in the eye her arms in an iron grip on your shoudler.
'Y/n L/n you are not a burden to me or to Cheryl and you never will be. We know we don't have to protect you but we want to. Your our best friend. You got us together, you got us through countless fights and you got us both through really hard times ok. Now it's our turn to look after you. We have realised that your right and we are being controlling so we will back up a bit. And by that i mean like a centimetre but still. Nothing is happening to you on our watch and we are making sure of that, whether you like it or not.' She explained. Looking at you with a smile.
'You got that nerd' She said with a playfully mean look on her face. Her arms crossed and she glared at the girl with a smile.
You giggled and nodded, blushing slightly as you realised how much they cared.
' Also me and TT were talking and we agreed to some compromises' Cheryl spoke up, Toni nodded along, looking unsure though.
'So you will not be involved in any gang activity or trained with any weapons because of how clumsy you are. ' Cheryl laughed as you pouted.
'But you are welcome to come to any archery training at Thistlehouse as well as the occasional meeting. And we will even give you your own jacket, as long as you agree not to where it outside the house.' Cheryl cut younoff before you could protest.
'Ah you either wear the Jacket in the house or not at all , we don't want you painting a target on you back.' She explained as Toni nodded along.
'OK yh that's fair enough' you agreed . As you bounced on you heels slightly, a huge smile breaking across you face . You jumped up to Cheryl and hugged her tightly pulling Toni in as well.
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the-wiggles · 1 year
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marauders girlies on tiktok be like “we need a name for the marauders era ladies” and then every suggestion is just
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willosword · 3 months
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heartbreaking! the worst people you know refer to each other with affectionate pet names!
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ivymarquis · 1 month
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The Neighbor
Hello friends I fucked off for a month but I’m back and I bring Price smut as an apology for my absence. @sky-is-the-limit’s “Im here to do what your boyfriend cant” prompt has lived in my brain rent free ecer since I read it and while I didn’t follow it verbatim, I did keep in spirit with the theme :)
Also womp I was gone for the Price challenge by @glitterypirateduck but this actually checks off a couple of the prompt options (first time being intimate, a confession/secret is discovered/revealed) so I’m submitting it.
There are a lot of tags. Make sure you read them.
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Pairing| John Price x Reader Rating| M Word Count| 4.8k Kinks/Content/Warnings| Accidental voyuerism by virtue of living in an apartment, the reader has a dogshit boyfriend at the beginning of the fic (there is no cheating), slut shaming (from the dogshit boyfriend), these two idiots are down bad for each other, sex toys, oral (F!receiving), unprotected PiV, gratuitous squirting because I’m me, not really heavy on BDSM elements but mentions of the following: bondage/restraints (John uses his hands, nothing crazy), something akin to subspace from how good the nut is, aftercare, John is a prick to the now-ex, very brief angst due to a quick misunderstanding, very vaguely implied somnophilia, rampant abuse of italics. Lemme know if I missed anything.
His neighbor is clearly used to Price being deployed.
She’s a sweet thing, really, and on the whole isn’t that disagreeable of a neighbor.
He just has one problem with her (not even her, really) that is a thorn in his fucking side- her boyfriend.
The boyfriend was not an issue when they first met- wasn’t in the picture at all.
And no John most assuredly hasn’t had it out for the guy since Day 1. The fact that John had gathered himself up to ask his pretty neighbor out when he came back from his latest mission, only to find out about the new boyfriend, does not color his impression of the other man. He’s grown and this is not the first time his advances have been turned away for whatever reason.
But there are, to his knowledge, no true redeeming qualities about the man and he is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
He catches bits and pieces through the walls. The boyfriend is not attentive, caring, or sweet to her. She is treated as a guest in her own home, and twice he’s heard bellowing shouts that had Price at the door with his fist banging against it- both to shut him up and make it exceptionally well known that if the boyfriend thinks intimidating a woman is going to fly, that Price will not hesitate to kick the door in.
The most appalling part of it all is that John has a front row seat to just how atrocious he is in bed.
For the life of him John does not understand. It’s not even like the lad’s a good lay.
He’s heard many stories of women tolerating absolutely atrocious behavior from the muppets they were with because he knew how to make them see stars.
That is exceptionally not the case here. And John is rapidly finding his patience wearing thin at continually being subjugated to his pathetic performance.
So what the hell is it about the boyfriend that keeps his neighbor so enamored with him?
John stares at the ceiling, watching the blades of the fan turn as he tries to tune out the thumping of the headboard against the wall.
He thinks that if the man was just a bad lay and completely incapable of getting her anywhere, that would be one thing and John would continue to be frustrated but ultimately understand. But it’s the way he seems to actively ruin it anytime she has the audacity to enjoy having sex with him that truly grates on John’s nerves.
It’s not often, but even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. The thumping of the headboard is accompanied by her sweet voice moaning lowly in short staccato notes as the boyfriend appears to finally be doing something right.
The thumping comes to a halt, and John groans in frustration.
“Why’d you stop?” He can hear his pretty neighbor lament through the thin walls.
“Why the fuck are you being so loud? Trying to give the neighbor a show?”
John squints his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance. The fucking muppet can’t do anything right.
If the neighbor was his, John wouldn’t give a fuck who heard. Let all the neighbors know that he could fuck the sense clear out of her pretty little head. John could show the muppet what loud is.
“No! I’m not trying to do anything- it just felt good,” she defends herself.
“Well, be quieter about it, no one needs to hear that. You sound like a whore,” the muppet snaps at her irritably, and John is nearly at his fucking limit when the god damn headboard starts to thump against the wall again.
“Get out.”
Oh.
John is impressed- pleasure and pride coursing through him as his sweet neighbor stands up for herself rather than letting that ungrateful swine continue to berate her.
Good fucking girl.
“What did you just say?” The thumping stops.
“You don’t get to call me names. Get off of me and get out.”
For all his sins, it seems even the muppet has a line he’s not willing to cross.
There’s a shifting as he presumably pulls out and gets off the bed- the words are muffled but the tone is clear. The muppet isn’t above laying into her verbally though consent is (smartly) a line he won’t toe.
And good thinking on his part- John would probably tear through the drywall and turn him into a chew toy had that conversation gone in any other direction.
The door slams loudly, announcing the boyfriend’s departure.
John can’t help but keep his attention on his neighbor to see what her reaction is going to be. It is taking every ounce of self control he has to not follow the boyfriend and wring his neck in the parking lot.
There’s no conventional guide for how to address this situation with your neighbor. ‘Hello, I’ve fancied you for quite some time and that ungrateful prick somehow swept you up before I got the nerve to ask you out. I've had to hear you have the most lackluster sex ever for the past several months, and equal parts want to check in on how you’re doing emotionally after his latest stunt, and also want to bend you over and pin you to the mattress until you’re squealing. May I come in?’
He can’t say he is too surprised to hear things slamming about in the apartment- his pretty neighbor sounding more pissed off than upset, catching snippets of “Who the fuck does he think he is, talking to me like that” and “Motherfucker couldn’t find my clit with a map and a headlamp but can find the audacity to call me names-”
Okay, John has to fight back the urge to laugh at that last one lest she hear him. She’s quite the viper when (finally) provoked, and it just endears her more to him.
She doesn’t appear particularly distraught, the slamming and huffing and muttering concluding with her tossing herself on the bed.
It’s a very common occurrence that after the neighbor’s rendezvous with her lazy boyfriend, John is treated to a show where she finishes herself off with her toys.
The boyfriend, like many inadequate men, is threatened by them and John has heard the snide remarks.
Hilarious, he finds it, that a man incapable of getting her off is so adamant that she gets rid of them.
She hasn’t listened, clearly, as the low sound of her vibrator can be heard through the wall.
John is soon graced with the sound of her panting moans. His cock stiffens in interest at her voice, which is a frequent occurrence. She makes such pretty noises, mewling and whimpering as she works herself up.
Tonight is a whirlwind of emotions for his pretty neighbor, and at the end of the day her no-good boyfriend left her high and dry.
John will gladly enjoy the consequences of the boyfriend’s actions, one hand wrapping around his cock and beginning to stroke in time with her whines.
What he wouldn’t give for a chance to make her see stars. He’d be so good to her.
The reality of his job makes dating a logistical nightmare, part of what stayed his hand for so long.
He’s not blind. His neighbor is kind and sweet with a killer smile and wandering eyes. He’s caught her more than once ogling him when he’s returned home in uniform, or more nondescript tactical clothing.
Feeling her gaze on him always makes him puff up with pride, enjoying holding her attention no matter how fleeting. If he takes his time after a run and makes a point to pull the hem of his shirt up to wipe at his brow where she can see it, that’s his business.
So John thinks he’s dreaming when he hears that lovely voice whimper his name from the other side of the wall.
He stiffens, quietly waiting to see if he hears it again.
“John- Oh, fuck- please,” is all he needs to hear before he’s well and truly lost any semblance of patience.
Only having the presence of mind to dress himself enough to not warrant any errant looks from the other neighbors, he is at her door in a second.
It’s only after he knocks that he realizes he may well have killed whatever momentum she’s built for herself- given her muttering as she approaches the door- but he fully intends to make up for the stolen release.
She opens the door without looking through the peephole, obviously expecting it to be the ex based on the vitriol poised to spill at John’s chest, approximately eye level with where the (hopefully ex) boyfriend would be.
Once again he has to stifle a laugh, finding her a comical vision when the anger on her face melts away as her eyes flick up to his face with the realization that it is him at the door and not the object of her ire.
“What are you doing here, John?” Christ, he’s always been a sucker for pretty doe eyes. If he held even an ounce less of restraint he’d be mounting her right here for everyone to see.
“I’m here to do what your sorry excuse of a boyfriend can’t.”
Even as he reaches out to pull her in for a kiss, he’s watching her body language- gauging if she stiffens or shifts away.
She doesn’t.
In fact, her arms loop behind him and pull him closer, tugging on his hair and his shirt.
John’s not wasting any more time than he already has, walking her backwards into the apartment and shutting the door with his foot before reaching back to lock it- he’s got no desire for any interruptions from wayward former boyfriends.
They separate for a moment as she paws at the hem of his shirt, clearly wanting it off of him. John is all too happy to oblige, preening under her attention. He’s always had the stockier build of a man who’s fitness came from utility in the field, opposed to the hard defined abs of someone who spends most of their time in the gym.
It’s cute, the way she has to pry her eyes up to his face- clearly liking what she sees and flustered by the fact that John can see her staring.
“I broke up with him,” she clarifies.
“Good,” is his simplistic response, although if John’s being honest with himself he doesn’t really care about the finer details. The little prick never deserved to have her and John finally has his chance to prove himself worthy.
“The bedroom’s this way,” she prompts between kisses.
Their clothes are peeled off in turns as they stumble towards the room. The layout is inverted to John’s own flat nextdoor, so despite having never stepped foot inside before he guides her to keep her from crashing into something behind her.
By the time they are collapsing against her bed, they’re stripped of everything except a scant thong on her and his own boxers.
She’s just so delightfully soft in his grip, John can’t keep his hands or his mouth off of her.
The feeling is reciprocated as she pushes up off the bed to grind against him. As much as he’s relishing in them dry humping and making out like teenagers, he’s wanted her for so long and now that she’s finally willing and pliant underneath him, he’s itching for a taste of her.
Kissing his way down her body- starting at her jaw, the column of her neck, across her collar bone, down her sternum; latching onto each nipple and teasing them to hardened peaks before continuing his path down.
He’s compelled by the urge to turn her into a chew toy as he reaches her belly, although he stifles that urge and keeps his teeth to himself.
He can’t quite resist giving a small nip as she squirms, clearly excited by the implication of where he’s heading.
There’s a damp spot on her underwear already as he kisses along the waistband while his hands tease with the elastic on either side of her hips.
The sound of her breath hitching in anticipation makes him smirk, attention drifting further south.
The fabric is in his way as he presses a kiss against her clothed cunt, gripping handfuls of her hips to keep her still as she bucks in his grasp.
“Easy, sweetheart- we’ve got all night,” he soothes before moving his attention up one thigh to the backside of her knee.
Those sweet thighs are splayed open for him, giving John unfettered access as he continues to tease.
“When’s this sweet cunt been eaten last, hm?”
He knows he’s heard her give that undeserving muppet head, but can’t recall any reciprocation occuring. There’s not much that can shock John at this point in his life, and he’s willing to roll the dice by dragging up her now-ex because he knows this poor thing hasn’t been eaten until she’s begging him off in ages.
“I couldn’t even begin to tell you,” she answers breathlessly, anticipating having her thighs twitching in his hold.
Out of the corner of his eye, John spies a torn condom wrapper that didn’t quite make it into the bin. Well that keeps him from having to ask two questions, then. Smart girl.
“What a shame,” he tsks lightly, peppering kisses back up and down her thigh.
Deciding that she’s waited long enough and he’s had his fun being a tease, John is quick to remove the scant lace and pull it off of her legs before tossing it to who-knows-where.
The sounds she makes as he makes a meal out of her is music to his ears. Each hitched moan and breathy whimper makes him stiffen in interest.
His attention shifts to focus on her clit, tongue circling the sensitive nub as his hands hold her hips in place.
As focused as he is on what’s right in front of him, it takes a moment for John to realize that she’s stifling her noises. One hand is fisting the sheets beneath her while the other is clamped across her lips.
Well. That simply won’t do.
The ex may have trained and shamed her into silence, but John didn’t make it as a military captain without learning how to break someone else’s bad habits.
He ignores her whimper of protest as he stops, one hand abandoning the softness of her hip in favor of grabbing her wrist and pulling her hand away from her mouth.
“None of that,” he admonishes gently, pressing a kiss to one thigh. “Let me hear you.”
“I-I’m too loud,” she protests and for a split second John sees red.
To his credit, he does not leave her wet and leaking on the bed to go bludgeon her ex to death with a blunt object.
“No such thing, sweetheart,” he soothes before having a thought to tease her. “Who are you worried is going to hear you?” He asks kindly, a shit eating grin as he speaks again, “the neighbor?”
Her wide eyed expression is thoroughly scandalized and John can’t fight the chuckle that escapes him.
He hasn’t released her wrist yet, deciding that it’s time to get back to his meal. If she abandons gripping the sheet with her free hand to cover her mouth again, he simply plans to hold both of her wrists.
It’s tentative at first, still not entirely trusting John at his word that he wants to hear her.
But John is all for positive reinforcement as a motivator, crooking his fingers to stroke that one spot that makes her see stars to encourage more from her.
She’s a quick study, although when she releases the sheet John is watching her like a hawk.
Rather than clasping over her mouth again, John is pleased when her fingers end up burying in his hair.
More than happy to let her guide him, John takes his cues from how she pulls at his hair. The feel of her thighs twitching as she breathes in staccato breaths is all the reward he needs.
“You’re getting close,” he says against her cunt, pointing out the obvious before getting back to work. She’s anxious, he thinks, the closer she gets to her climax. Poor girl doesn’t know what to do with herself with an orgasm she hasn’t had to put all the work into.
“D-don’t stop,” she stammers, rewarded immediately with John redoubling his efforts.
He’s not going to stop. Pretty thing like her deserves nothing less than laying on her back and enjoying getting her cunt eaten out.
“O-oh fuck,” is his only warning before she’s gushing on his face and John is like a kid on Christmas morning.
He doesn’t even know if she realizes she’s squirted, too caught up in the pleasure of her high.
He’s always thought it was hot- now that he knows his pretty neighbor is a squirter he is more than willing to get on his knees and pray to whoever is listening that this isn’t a one time event. He’ll do anything to get her to keep him.
Even as her high fades he doesn’t let up on her, continuing to work his middle and ring finger inside of her. All he wants is to see her cum- wants to see those eyes roll as she squeezes them shut in anticipation.
Despite pulling his face away from her wet pussy, he doesn’t leave her clit unattended for long before his thumb is gently circling in time with the thrusts of his fingers.
Kissing his way back up her body, John can’t help but be pleased as she pulls him in to make out with him. Snatched gasps and bucks of her hips grace his ears as he works her from orgasm to the next, the wet sound of his palm slapping against her.
“John Im gonna cum again,” she whimpers in warning.
He feels like a god with the way she stares up at him reverently, eyes wide and desperate for another climax.
“Come on,” he goads, “Show me- let me see your face when you cum.”
Christ if her leg twitches any harder it’s going to start vibrating, serving to only encourage him.
“O-oh,” she mewls, “God- don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t-“ she’s pleading with him like he wouldn’t sit at her feet if she asked him to.
The bewildered look on her face is darling, and John nearly finishes untouched; he's so wound up it’s not going to take much.
A few choice thoughts keep his own eminent climax at bay and buys him enough breathing room. She bucks and trembles in his hold, a high pitched squeal escaping her as he proves not only can he make her cum twice, but he can make her squirt like a faucet twice.
As soon as she’s starting to come down from her high she’s pulling at him, drawing up her knees to spread her legs in invitation.
“Greedy girl,” he teases as he kisses her- wet fingers abandoning her cunt in favor of manhandling her, wrapping her legs around his waist as he positions himself.
“Please, please, please-“ she begs so prettily for him, pleading for him to do exactly what he’s been fantasizing about for months.
He’s not a small man and mindful of that fact, but she’s well prepped and takes him easily. The desperate whimper that escapes her sears into John’s memory.
The buildup of everything finally gets to him as he wastes no time setting a steady pace.
“That’s it, sweetheart, just like that. Let me hear you,” he encourages as she cants her hips in time with his, whines of pleasure escaping her on each thrust.
“John, please,” she begs, eyebrows furrowing in pleasure as she watches where they’re joined.
“Eyes up here,” he instructs and Christ he almost loses it when her gaze flicks from between their bodies up to his face.
His hands find hers, fingers lacing together as he lowers his torso in order to kiss the ethereal creature underneath him.
She whimpers into his mouth, her sounds only encouraging John.
Everything about her is warm and inviting, from her soft skin to her warm cunt and the way she sings for him at every thrust.
Maneuvering them so he can grip both her wrists with one of his hands, the other immediately dives between their bodies to find her clit again.
His pretty neighbor has spent months not having an orgasm she didn’t give herself, and John is determined to prove to her that he can give her as many as she can handle.
“John I can’t cum again,” she pleads even as her thighs shake on either side of him.
“Yes you can,” he assures her. “One more time for me, yeah?”
Now, should she insist she’s done and satisfied then John would leave her clit alone and finish up their fun. As it is, though, she nods in acquiescence before the trembling in her thighs increases.
“Good girl,” he praises, fingers continuing their steady pace around her clit as she creeps closer to the edge.
She’s babbling in his ear as he presses a kiss to her temple and he knows she’s almost there.
“Good girl,” he praises again, a cocksure grin pulling at the corners of his lips at her immediate response.
“My good girl,” he ups the ante, testing her response to John staking a claim on her. And God did it ever work. That last little bit is all it takes to finally tip her over.
She clenches down on him like a vice and John immediately loses it, groaning low as the haze of his orgasm washes over him.
It’s everything he wants- she’s everything he wants as he recovers enough from his climax to finally notice that the bed is an utter mess beneath them.
It’s not his immediate concern however, more interested in soothing her through the come down of her high. She’s shivering underneath him, eyes glossy from the intensity of her last orgasm.
“Easy, sweetheart,” he murmurs reassuringly. “Just breathe for me.”
He gathers her up in his arms, listening as her heartbeat relaxes in time with his own.
Eventually when enough time passes she’s more alert and happily snuggling against his chest. After giving her a chance to rest he herds her along to the bathroom so she doesn’t give herself a UTI. She tries to brush him off but her legs are taking their sweet time cooperating again.
Of course, she’s not exactly a recruit taking a piss test so he gives her her privacy and she’s able to return on her own albeit on shaky legs.
John pets at her head idly, attention drifting in post coital bliss as his hand strokes down along her back.
“I can’t believe you’re actually in my bed,” she giggles deliriously after a stretch of quiet.
“Only reason I wasn’t here sooner was because of that muppet,” he assures her. He doesn’t want her thinking that this is a one time thing for him. He’s wanted her for so long he can’t possibly be expected to turn her loose at the end of the night.
“I only dated him because I didn’t think you liked me,” she scoffs at herself.
“Oh, it was nearly the first moment I laid eyes on you. But with my work I kept talking myself out of doing anything,” he tells her. “Kept telling myself you deserve better. And then you brought the muppet home and kept him around,” John grouses good naturedly at her. “Think they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”
“I plead temporary insanity,” she jokes, snuggling closer against his chest. “But I got rid of him. And you finally made your move.”
He hums in agreement, sleep pulling at him now that he has her tucked up against his side.
John doesn’t remember falling asleep but he wakes with a jolt to the sound of pounding on her door.
He’s only been out for an hour or so when he checks the clock on the nightstand, his neighbor sprawled out next to him.
Well, now he knows she snores. The sound is light enough to have never heard it through the wall, but curled up next to him she’s like a cat purring loudly in his ear.
And he’s exceptionally pissed right off at the fact someone has woken him up. Especially considering he has one guess who it is.
He fully debates answering the door buck ass naked to teach the prick a lesson about banging on doors after midnight but settles on tossing his joggers on.
Much like when she opened the door for John, the ex is automatically trained at where her head would be rather than looking at John’s face.
“My eyes are here,” he quips sarcastically. “Why the fuck are you banging on the door this late.”
“Why th-“ the ex starts to parrot back before cutting himself off. “Why the fuck are you in her apartment? Why isn’t she answering?”
“She’s asleep,” John answers simply. There’s no obligation to explain the why and how he ended up in her apartment.
“What the fuck do you mean she’s asleep? How is she asleep after she just dumped me? And why the fuck are you here?”
The boyfriend (the ex boyfriend, he thinks with glee) is either oblivious or…
Well. The ex boyfriend is oblivious. Let’s just keep it at that.
“I’m here because you can’t do your job right. She’s asleep because I can. What part of that is confusing?”
“That stupid slag’s been fucking you behind my back-“
“No.” John is somewhat mindful of not giving a full on “screaming at recruits” bellow, but his voice booms into the corridor outside the apartment anyway. “You watch your fucking mouth. This” John gestures vaguely at his own presence in her flat, “just happened after she dumped you. You don’t get to hurl insults.”
“She hopped off of my cock and straight to yours- what the fuck else is it?”
“You couldn’t get her off,” John hisses in annoyance. “I’ve had front row seats to your shitty little performance more than once. Not 5 minutes after you leave and she’s having to handle it herself.”
“I can’t be expected to compete with a fucking vibrator!”
“Well I sure as shit didn’t need one to get the job done. Poor girl could barely get her legs to work to go to the loo and not give herself a UTI. Your skill issues are what started all of this.”
“You know what? Fucking have her. I don’t need this shit.”
Ah yes, because John needs the ex’s permission to date a newly single woman. Absolutely. That’s entirely how that works.
“Never needed your blessing. Now fuck off. I’m trying to sleep.”
The ex responds with a two finger salute as he spins on his heel and storms off.
John is almost tempted to grab him by the back of his neck and turn him into a chew toy. Given his military career, his patience for muppets giving him attitude is virtually nonexistent.
But the siren call of his pretty neighbor is a stronger pull than the muppet can ever hope to achieve. John’s succeeded in his mission to run the prick off, and he’s going to try to get a few more hours of sleep before seeing if she’s interested in another romp in the morning when she wakes up.
The bedroom is dark and poorly lit but John immediately picks up on the silence.
Rather than being sprawled out and snoring like when he left her, she’s quiet and curled into a ball.
She’s awake.
“Sweetheart?” He calls softly.
She jolts, fabric rustling from the sheets falling off her as she sits up.
“You’re still here,” the surprise in her tone cuts, although he knows she didn’t mean for it to.
She seems to realize how that comes across and clarifies further, “I- I heard the door shut.”
It falls into place for him then- she woke up to the sound of the door and John nowhere to be found. She thought he’d left.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he consoles, making his way back to the bed. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” he assures her while gathering her back into his arms.
Sleep comes back readily once the two of them are situated back in the bed.
Come morning, John’s got the patience and the presence of mind to throw a towel on the bed. He finds out for himself that his neighbor makes the prettiest noises with her arse propped up in the air and her face still buried in her pillow.
He can’t help but laugh later when she texts him that one of the neighbors made a noise complaint.
Age in bio/pinned or I will block you ♡
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batcavescolony · 1 year
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Jason *dying his hair black*: you know I started dying my hair before Robin.
Dick: yeah why?
Jason: their's like five red heads in Gotham and I knew as a kid for a fact that one was Ivy and one was Riddler. Then I became Robin to find out the other was Batgirl/Barbra and finally Kate Batman's cousin who's now Batwoman-
Dick: Yeah Red Heads in Gotham are either heroes or villains
Jason: -yeah so I didn't want to draw attention to myself.
Dick: ...Jay?
Jason: what?
Dick: I don't think it worked you've been a hero, villain and now anti-hero.
Jason: ...
Dick:
Jason *slams down color brush*: FUCK
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ethereal-esa · 2 years
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🍃 ~Sage board~ 🍃
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gal-o-guacamole · 2 months
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●Radiant is Gabriel●
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Feb.2024 (stained and artistic glass, copper, lead, gold and silver paint)
Process pics + vid ↷
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attleboy · 5 months
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Okay I see your dog bone post and raise you. Pomni had stim toys as a kid, and that’s why she tends to bite things often.
i thiiiink i get what you're trying to say?? to which i'm going to say that the pomni bone chewing post is very much inspired by own experience chew stimming... so in my mind pomni probably would've had a stim toy at some point or at least would benefit from one. andddd a doodle.. :) gave the girl something to bite on she [hopefully] won't destroy in 2 seconds
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dailydccomics · 1 month
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The Strange Case of Harleen and Harley (2024) art by Jenn St-Onge
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tbcanary · 11 months
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2023 reading list: Poison Ivy (2022)
I am a hero. In my own way.
(ID under the cut.)
ID: Four animated gifs with art from the 2022 run of Poison Ivy.
1: Poison Ivy, a woman with red hair and green sprouts on her skin, stands off to the right side of the frame in front of a landscape of mushrooms, trees, and marshland. She fades out and is replaced by her more inhuman form, a hybrid body covered in plants and branches.
2: Ivy and Harley Quinn stand in front of a city background and kiss. Lights flash and flicker behind them as they kiss. Slowly, tears stream down Harley's face. Text flickers in green boxes: "Delirium doesn't scare you. You can see the world behind the world."
3: Ivy stands in front of a background of circular spores, moving outward in a spiral from her person. She blows a puff of glowing, purple mist.
4: Ivy, fully in her plant form, sits in the grass under a colorful nighttime sky. A crescent moon takes up much of the frame. Stars flicker in and out. Text pops up in speech bubbles: "Of course I do. I remember everything." / "Whether I want to or not."
/End ID
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puppetmaster13u · 1 month
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Prompt 251
Danny is tired and annoyed. On one hand, his parents took the whole ‘so I might be slightly dead’ pretty well! Which is good! On the other, they decided to send him and his sisters to their uncle while they take care of the Guys in White and refurbish the house to be, well, him safe. Which meant a ridiculously long flight all the way to New Jersey. 
A flight he was pretty sure happened to be illegal what with the fact that neither of them were asked for their IDs or anything despite having them with them. Hm. Y’know he’s not going to question it, he’s getting a nap the moment they get to Uncle Harvey’s. 
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sweeneydino · 1 month
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Wake him up when he no longer has to run.
Click on the photos for better quality 💀 sorry
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Being a Magical Girl in Gotham (Platonic)
Y/n is 15 in this and started being a magical girl at 10
I don’t read the comics so the timeline is likely fucked along with some characters maybe being out of character. I don’t care tho cause this took a long ass time to write and I had fun writing this. So please enjoy
Part 2 Part 3 part 4
3302 word count lol
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Becoming a magical girl like in the cartoons you watched as a young girl initially seemed like a dream come true
A wish wrapped in a big pink sparkly bow that when unwrapped opened Pandora’s box to the amount of responsibilities that would be carried over to you
You were naive back then, but after years of being one your much mature now
That initially girly sense of joy soon fading away as the glitter and glam could no longer shield your eyes from the weight of something bigger than yourself was voluntarily placed on your shoulders
Doesn’t matter much in the end. there's no turning back time no matter how you longed to reset its hands
You hunt shadow-like creatures you had nicknamed shadowmites. Entities from a different realm that feed themselves off of traits like greed and anger before sucking out its targets life
You hunt shadow-like creatures you had nicknamed shadowmites. Entities from a different realm that feed themselves off of traits like greed and anger before sucking out its targets life
You hunt shadow-like creatures you had nicknamed shadowmites. Entities from a different realm that feed themselves off of traits like greed and anger before sucking out its targets life
You hunt shadow-like creatures you had nicknamed shadowmites. Entities from a different realm that feed themselves off of traits like greed and anger before sucking out its targets life
You hunt shadow-like creatures you had nicknamed shadowmites. Entities from a different realm that feed themselves off of traits like greed and anger before sucking out its targets life
You hunt shadow-like creatures you had nicknamed shadowmites. Entities from a different realm that feed themselves off of traits like greed and anger before sucking out its targets life
It’s no surprise that they ended up gravitating towards earth. Even more so Gotham, a breeding ground for the worst of the worst
Their mindless creatures. Just feeding and taking over entire universe’s to suck them dry until moving to the next
You used to feel sympathy for them, how horrific it would be to one of them. but now you feel nothing for them. 5 Years of watching them shrivel into nothing and hurt others made that go away though
Their screeches of pain becoming background noise along with their snarls of hunger.
You're now desensitised to it all. The loneliness and sadness at watching others you age enjoys their lives oblivious to everything.
Sometimes it makes you smile though. Knowing that because of your actions those same girls can live their lives, happy and full of joy.
At least you're not truly alone though. Your mentor/companion/eldritch-type being in the form of a ferret named Rigel.
They're an odd company. A being of seemingly endless knowledge and power, one that traversed through countless dimensions and universes, something that could end the world with a single thought…in the body of a adorable ferret that curls around your neck and perched on your shoulder
Rigel is stern but caring. A mentor who pushes you to your limits but knows when to stop and when you need a break despite how much you protest.
Someone/something that cares for you despite the fact that compared to them you're a single dim star in an entire cosmos of brighter shining ones.
As a Gothamite you know the streets well, and its people even better. Giving you the advantage at tracking down and stopping shadowmites as the midnight hour ticks onwards
You usually get rid of around 7-16 a night. Most being weaker varieties but occasionally having to toughen up to defeat the strong ones who had found a particular rageful host.
During the 5 years you had been doing this ever since your 10th birthday you surprisingly (and luckily) hadn’t had the chance to meet Batman face to face
Sure, they had been times you saw him off in the distance but you hadn’t fully talked to him by a stroke of chance
His enemy’s on the other hand, oh boy do you know them well
You had saved quite a few of them.
The goal was to eliminate the shadowmites, it didn't matter who you saved in the process…unless it’s Joker.
Even Rigel would allow you to let Joker be sucked dry like a cool-aid packet lol
Anyways
Because of you saving a ton of them you're on their good lists. A metaphorical safe card given to you as you spend your nights saving more people
After saving Penguin the older man allowed you free use to the iceberg despite your complaints of not wanting anything
You have your own little private table set up.
Mr.Cobblepot insists you don’t need to pay but you do so anyway
The food is much better than the McDonald’s you buy on a daily basis. It deserves the money you insist to spend on it
Most of His goons now know you. Sometimes joking you when off duty to talk while you eat
Most are pretty nice (to you anyways), often times rambling about their day or talking about their families
Some have kids your age. Some of them you even recognize from Gotham academy
The waitresses are also nice. Most of them very pretty and always fawning over how cute you look.
Penguin himself occasionally joins you in his spare time. Making causal talk, asking of your hunting and how your life has been
It’s….nice?. Kinda weird to be having a mob boss ask about your day but it’s a change of pace from your relatively lonely life
Kinda reminds you of some rich uncle who swoops by every now or then. Spoiling you before being whisked off on a new endeavor
He tells you that you're welcome during closing hours as well. This place serving as a safe haven of sorts if you should need it
Riddler is another though you see him less than Penguin
It’s the occasional blink and you see it kinda encounters but their amusing
The green clad man finds it fun to bitch about how the Gotham time’s riddles are too easy or how Batman is a dick
He (of course) also tells riddles. Seemingly getting a ride out of watching you try to figure them out
He also seems weirdly protective. Warning that if the bat gave you trouble then come to him
He’s not the only one to say that to you but you appreciate the sentiment
Seems oddly worried that if your in school and if your getting a good education
You tell him you are but don’t specify where just in case
He’s satisfied with that answer though. Even offers to help with math and or science homework
Gloats a lot and talks even more. Seems to appreciate that you actually listen to him and his ramblings
At one point he suggests making your colour scheme to match his
You politely decline saying you couldn’t pull it off like he did which makes his ego expand
Sometimes he hacks into security cameras or large screens to give you a riddle cause he’s bored
May or may not slip Rigel a 20 for you to have some spare change that you desperately need
Harley, Ivy and Catwoman fucking love you
You had initially only saved Harley but after that the two just joined in with her on basically becoming your honorary aunts
You end up running into them a lot during your long nights. Usually stopping by Ivy’s and Harley’s apartment for small breaks
They patch you up as best they can, ivy fixing you a cup of tea as Harley’s hyena’s curl up near your lap
Catwoman usually stops by during these breaks. Sometimes with a box of kittens whom she has you name
All of them are worried for you both mentally and physically so they make you a deal. On Saturdays after 12am unless super urgent you have a girls night with them, in return you have their help in patching up your wounds
They prep popcorn, drinks and the whole 9 yards to give you a break. They play a movie (usually a chick flick) and just let you rewind
If they hadn’t made this deal you probably wouldn’t have taken any breaks
Their all silently impressed that you’ve not only survived this long but also somehow ended up befriending half the villains in this damn city
You say that their just acquaintances but Ivy argues that Mr.Cobblepot is a cheapskate who wouldn’t give you a basically lifetime pass to his lounge for nothing
Harley warns you to stay away from Joker no matter what. And that if he even walks 10 metres near you he’s getting a lifetime trip to deadsville
Red Hood is the first of the bats that you run into. During his whole escapade to take over the underworld something that was kinda considered a myth to the rest of Gotham but was confirmed by the many people you saved
The meeting was ok…but then derailed when you noticed the black clawed tendrils clinging into his shoulders
His shadowmite that feed off his rage was fucking hard to beat. It took a lot out of you, almost killed you and left you hobbling to Harley’s for help before passing out
You woke up in a warehouse, patched up by him personally before he began to question you
Like usual you gave him the rundown of things. The entities that feed off negative emotions, eventually drained their life force, your the only one who can stop them with your magical powers etc etc
What catches you off guard though is when he asks if your parents know
The silence answers his question. One that feels deafening to his ears as he realizes that your basically alone in this
Pitted against a cruel world with no one but yourself and the kindness of literal criminals to accomplish an impossible task
It seems to shake something in him, something that’s not your business to ask about but makes him seem fragile in that moment
It’s not a word you’d associate with him yet that’s the only thing you can describe him as in the moment
The dim blue glow of his helmet’s eyes seeming now less intimidating to your smaller shaking form
He then asks how you got away with this so long without the bat (he says it with a certain poison in his voice) didn’t stop this
You just answer that you were just lucky in evading his notice. You were careful not to gain public attention and just focused on your job (his fists tightened a bit at this wording)
He helps you after this, dropping you off at Harley and Ivy’s
He seems hesitant in letting you go but trusts your decision enough once he sees the two fuss over you from a distance
He appears commonly to you after that. Inviting you to sit atop the old Gotham library with a bag of Dairy Queen in hand
It makes you wonder if he has younger siblings, if this is how it felt to be cared for by a older brother
You used to wonder what that felt like along with having parents. It makes your normally hollow chest feel warm and fuzzy
Couple months later he ends up working with batman. Whatever disagreement with the man now resolved as his uniform now has a red bat added to his chest
Your initially nervous until he promises not to “rat you out to the old man” as he put it
He opens up a bit more during your talks with him. Talking of how he grew up in the slums, had to rely on himself to survive just as you do
It’s kinda comical to see the gun wielding, motorcycle driving, leather jacket clad vigilante talk about Jane Austen but it certainly becomes a fun pastime as you work on an english essay
Just like the Gotham Sirens he worries. But even more than they do
He suggests tagging along with you on some of your hunts but you decline. Appreciating the sentiment but making a clear line in what you are comfortable with.
He accepts but there’s still a sense of worry that seems to claw at him everytime he finds you with cuts, bruises and dried blood caking your elaborate uniform
Eventually during your meetups with him your talk of pride and prejudice is interrupted by Nightwing
It’s kinda awkward sitting there eating ice cream with Rigel as the two grown men bicker like brothers about you
You end up leaving midway though to hunt again
But then the blue wearing hero ends up finding you much to your displeasure of just wanting to get back to work
He’s much more cheery and charismatic compared to Red hood. More of a people person by how he easily seems to break down your hesitation to talk to him
Like hood he’s definitely worried for you but seems to hide it a bit better with humour and general polite talk
You notice he does acrobatics a lot, leading to you asking him him about it
He kinda ends up being your teacher and you now know how to cartwheel and a few other tricks
Like hood he promises not to tell Batman he even jokes that at this point he should get red Robin and Robin so Batman is the last to know
He talks about a variety of subjects but kinda focuses in on how you have a healthy way to relive the stress you have
Doesn’t exactly approve of you stopping by the Gotham sirens for that but he relents after red hood calls him out on also being friends with villains before (an apparently more than friends in some cases?)
Both he and Red hood argue quite a bit but it’s funny especially when it has both grown men throwing fries at one another like 10 year olds
He has you swear not to drink coffee cause apparently red Robin is addicted to that shit and he doesn’t need another coffee adict
Briefly mentions how he has a friend named Raven whom you should meet
Y’all have mock battles cause he wants to see you in battle. Safe to say he likes the sparkles and the glamour of it all
He finds it interesting that your magical girl weapon can change depending on the situation and still looks cute
Those once cold and lonely nights that you spent fighting evil shadow creatures has changed seemingly for the better
Despite the fact that frost nips at your fingertips through your gloves, attempting to suck the warmth from your flesh you feel oddly warm inside
During the day your a seemingly normal 15 year old student at Gotham academy. Someone who blends into the Background, someone who no one really knows about but doesn’t question why
The only really noticeable thing about you is your above average grades and quiet nature
You're just known as that one seemingly nice student. That’s really the only thing people can label you as, you don’t really mind.
It was your goal to be unnoticeable, to just be another face to everyone.
It kinda becomes a bit complicated though as through your normal school year you notice the infamous Damien Wayne seemingly gaining an interest in you?
Odd. You never really interacted with him other than polite hello’s and the occasional moment you’d sit near somewhat near him in the library for lunch
Hell he wasn’t even in the same grade as you. He was 13, you never even had a project or something that led you to actually talk to him.
And now for some reason he decided to have a curiosity in you. The one thing you didn’t want happening.
During lunch you end up eating in random places. Randomly Rotating between areas and locations like the courtyard, library, empty classrooms and the gym
He’s smart though, scarily so. Almost as if he was experienced in tracking people down. Leaving you light on your toes as you dance to weave past and try to outsmart and outlast him until the bell rings
It doesn’t get any better when you leave for the end of the though. He waits for a few minutes by the front of the school, limo ready to take him home yet he still tries to spot you as you leave.
Eventually you up and ask him why he's been stalking you for the past 2 weeks, turns out Damien saw Rigel and wanted to pet them plus his older brothers encouraged him to make a friend
Safe to say he got to pet Rigel who crawled out your bag and scurried up his arm
The friend bit is a bit more complicated
You never had a friend your age after gaining your abilities. Being so busy had deterred people at the orphanage before you ran off, faked some paperwork and found yourself an apartment who didn’t ask questions as long as you paid for rent.
You had purposefully made yourself invisible to everyone, to avoid becoming gaining attention and becoming attached knowing they’d leave you for being so busy
You know you should say no but…your heart tugs at the somewhat nervous look he has in his eyes despite how much he tries to hide it along with the feeling of joy clawing at your heart
For the first time at school you smile genuinely as you nod. His eyes light up with joy, a small somewhat prideful smile painting his face
Your days at school after this are much more eventful, less of a cycle like it was before
Due to your new friendship with the elusive and loner wayne it causes some stir but the young boy quickly silences all hushed talking with his infamous glare
He’s actually quite fun to be around, always talking about his pets or how his step-brothers were a pain in the ass
He still sometimes has an attitude but you got to eventually see past that. To see the real Damien who nerded out over random animal facts or had his dog as his screensaver
It took a long time to get to this point but you don’t find yourself regretting the decision because of the fact he’s understanding of you being busy or having a far off look in your eyes that looked eternally tired.
His are the same sometimes, drained and empty of colour and life
You asked him one day while you both ate lunch in the courtyard, laying down on the dark green grass, why he decided out of all people to befriend you. The wallflower, the name without a face, the kid whom everyone just knew as nice and that’s it
He said it's because of your eyes. How they reminded him of himself, not in personality per say but in the fact they held untold secrets and a weight that no one else but you would understand.
That day he invited you to his home. The glorious wayne manor as to finally meet his canine friend Titus
It feels kinda out of nowhere but with some hesitance you agree, hopping into the limo that picked him up everyday as a old butler greeted you with a surprised smile
Damien greets him with the same fondness he seemed to hold for you, introducing the older british man as Alfred
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rainymoodlet · 4 months
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nimphidia actaea, because i'm just not Me if i don't have 424985 active saves ⚗
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stonedshesays · 3 months
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😌💚
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