#pure pride

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[hoolay-boobs]

On the first page of results

#bi visibility month #happy bi visibility month #bi pride #bisexual #bisexual pride #bi positivity #bisexual positivity #bisexuality #bi posting #bisexual posting #bi post #google #memes #wholesome memes #lgbtq #queer #pure memes #sapphic #achillean #duriac #lgbt #lgbt memes #bi memes #bisexualism #bisexuals #bisexual memes #bisexual visibility #bi visibility #tumblr memes #lgbtq memes

[dumbbitch2-0]

Happy Pride from the sheriff’s department!!

#mao mao heroes of pure heart #mao mao #mmhoph #badgerclops #fanart #badgermao #adorabat #adoradads #art #it’s pride month #you know what that means #breaking bad #meme #Twitter meme #king snugglemagne #snugglemage #mao mao snugglemagne #gay pride #pride month #gay meth

[juthemagicalclown]

i think we as whole have a huge problem with the misuse of the word 'platonic'

'platonic' is not a synonym for 'friendship' or 'deep friendship', platonic' and 'romantic' are not mutually exclusive

'platonic' means non-sexual, which means a relationship could be romantic and platonic

love is much more nuanced than you make it to be

#idk but this matters a lot to me #maybe it's cos i'm on the aroace spectrum lol #i'm just so tired of seeing people saying 'their relationship is not romantic is purely platonic' #cos like i agree!! they are purely platonic!! but that doesn't mean they can't be in love T-T #just ranting at this point #romantic #platonic #platonic relationships #romantic relationships #aromantic #aroace #asexual #aro pride #ace price #acespec #arospec #ju talks #random

[ramayantika]

Okay now what's the deal with hating on kathak for its connection with mughal history.

You don't even know a thing about dance but you got to hate it mindlessly

#i love the sentiment of having pride for our own indian culture art and traditions but not at the cost of #bringing down other cultures especially islamic #like this girl was doing kathak and mostly these so called traditional men commented pakistan bhejo yahan nahi chalta yeh sab #the social media trend of tum sufi hum hanuman chalisa #this is making you look just purely dumb #choice sunne ki and unch nich dikhane mein farak hai bhaiya #fr i myself listen to bhajans and stotram which doesn't make me superior to those listening to sufi #zara social media ke changul se bahar niklo tum saala divide and rule abhi bhi chal raha hai #dni pls aise hi tumblr anon hate aata hai

[alecz-obssesionz]

If Hollow and Grimm get married, wouldn’t that technically make Ghost Grimmchild’s uncle lmao. I could see them lording that over him at some point.

✨️🪻BONUS⚘️✨️

#grollow #THE CHILDREN NOTICE THINGS GRIMM #hollow knight modern au #MY MOST PRIDEFUL POST #THIS WAS SUCH FUN TO MAKE LMAO I LOVE THIS #pre relationship grollow #grimm x pure vessel #the hollow knight x grimm #hollow knight #hk #grimm #troupe master grimm #grimmchild hk #ghost hk #little knight hk #modern au #alecz'makingz #sorry for the messy sketches #Grimm got so surprised I forgot to shade his shirrt #shirt #shit

[scytheral]

✦ㅤSEROANUSㅤA gender related To unholy Angels / Being a Unholy angel. Could include ( Being ) A angel Whose symbolism and Duties Weren ' t revered Nor perceived As pure , Spirituality restrained From one ' s Essence , Deprevation of Faith , Corrupted blessings && Divinity.

[ PT / Seroanus: a gender related to unholy angels/being a unholy angel. could include (being a) angel whose symbolism and duties weren't revered nor perceived as pure, spirituality restrained from one's essence, deprevation of faith, corrupted blessings and divinity. / END PT. ]

─── ✦✦✦ ───ㅤCoined by The Prince.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─── ✦✦✦ ───ㅤDay 01 of lovesse ' s Coining event.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─── ✦✦✦ ───ㅤ꒰ㅤTag : @lovesseㅤ꒱

#✦⠀⋯⠀In evil Sacrilege #Seroanus #lovesses666 #( Inspired by The undying Light ' s memories book “ Thy Memoir. ” ) #Unholy #Angel #Pure #Faith #Corrupted #Blessings #Divinity #mogai #mogai coining #mogai blog #mogai post #mogai friendly #mogai flag #mogai pride #mogai community #mogaireal #mogai identity #mogai gender #mogai heaven #pro mogai #actually mogai #liom friendly #liom #angelgender #unholygender

[july-19th-club]

ever since i learned that the guy who wrote breaking bad was raised catholic every single thing about that show has made sense. show about guys who either exercise Pride or exercise Contrition and their success doesn't exactly hinge on it but the state of their souls does . sometimes Contrition is another form of Pride though so watch out

#jesse jimmy and kim for example exercise sometimes too much contrition to the point where it loops back around to self-centered-ness #BUT the point is that they are constantly wearing hairshirts so they dont die and have a chance at Salvation #walt and gus for example are very proud but they wear it differently. gus's pride masks grief and so he dies at the height of his power #his sins lead to punishment BUT his virtues such as they are ensure glory simultaneously #walt's pride is just pride all the way down so punishment begins for him in the form of losing everything he is proud of Having #and the central question there is what if anything will it take to push him toward contrition? the answer is nothing can do that #BUT because he is so single-minded and pure in his purpose (purity here not equaling goodness just. purity of focus) #he gets to Get Away . he dies before he is captured surrounded by his life's work: 'they're too late. he got away' #thus keeping the legend going (as the devil often wins in some stories. just to keep the concept alive) #breaking bad #brother waldrip & jessimer synthesizing laudanum

[dudethattries]

I might be Bisexual | Michael Afton x male! Reader

Trigger warning: Sexuality crisis, homophobia (mentioned), gay panic

Inspired by life is strange :)

You are teenagers here, post bite of '83.

Pronouns used for reader: he/him/his ------------------------------------------

"I might be Bisexual."

"What?"

"I think I might be Bisexual."

"What do you mean 'you think'?"

"I'm not sure."

You sighed leaning back. Michael and you were currently on the junk yard near your house. He was balancing on top of some sort of old pillar, while you sat inside an old car that missed most of its windows and doors.

"Well, why do you think you're Bisexual?" Michael hesitated.

"There is a boy I think is cute." You turned away. There was a boy? Who? Why couldn't he just like you?

"Well, if there's a boy, why don't you ask him out?" He laughed.

"Cmon (Y/N), you really cant pull that card if you haven't asked your crush out, who you've like since like 7th grade." You chuckled sadly.

"Yeah, I guess so. Who is it anyways?" He sighed.

"Will you tell me who you like?" You laughed.

"No?" He laughed too.

"Well then Im not going to tell you either." Its you! I cant tell you because its you!

"Why are you not sure if you're Bi?" He started walking on the pillar thing stretching his arms out wide to keep his balance. He looked far too handsome like that, the setting sun making his features stand out more. It made your stomache feel fuzzy.

"I don't know. I like him. Very much in fact, but Im kinda new to this I guess?" He sighed.

"And I know dad wouldn't be too fond of it." You snorted.

"Since when do you care what your father thinks?" He snickered and jumped down from the pillar and walked to the car you were in. He sat down in the passenger seat turning to you.

"How did you know you liked him?" He leaned closer. Leaning back with a slightly hotter face you ran a hand through your hair.

"I don't know? I guess I just crushed on him long enough that I couldn't really ignore it?" Michael leaned to the side to rest on the slightly rotten car seat. He looked like he was contemplating on doing something potentially very stupid. You'd known him long enough to know exactly to know the mischievous twinkle in his eyes didn't mean anything good.

"What are you thinking about?" You groaned, scared of what he would come up with.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" You choked on your own spit.

"What?!" you coughed up. He laughed at your reaction.

"You heard me. Have you ever kissed anyone?" You looked away embarrassed.

"No..."

"Do you wanna try?" Shocked you stared at him. Was this really happening?

"What about your crush?" He chuckled leaning closer, your face felt hotter and hotter.

"Something tells me he wont mind."

"Then- Then thats okay then." You stuttered out as Michael came closer.

"Are you sure this is okay with you?" He asked looking into your eyes. He was now slightly hovering over you, one hand on the dashboard of the car the other on your backrest. Not trusting your voice, you simply nodded.

Michael leaned in and kissed you. Your shock-filled eyes closed after the initial surprise, that he actually did it and wasnt just joking. His lips were slightly chapped but softly pressed against yours, so you really could care less. His hand, now on your neck pressed you even closer to him. Hesitantly you moved your hands to his hair, softly playing with his curls.

When you parted both your faces were a bit redder than before. Grinning and slightly out of breath Michael leaned back to give you a bit of space.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." You took a deep breath.

"Did Susie tell you?" He looked confused.

"Tell me what?" "That I like you." He grinned even wider.

"So it was me! God I was scared you liked someone else."

"You didnt know I liked you?" He snickered embarrassed.

"Well I wasn't sure, you didn't exactly talk too much about it."

"What, didnt I boost your ego enough already?" He laughed. The butterflies in your belly started acting up again.

"No, you can continue please." You chuckled. Michael stood up and walked around to your side of the car holding his hand out.

"Cmon its getting late."

You took his hand and he pulled you up. He looked at you and smiled softly. You pecked his cheek and gently pulled him along back towards the direction of your Homes.

-------------------

Whats up dudes, this is reposted (and slightly edited) from my wattpad oneshots book. Hope you liked it :]

#michael afton x male reader #bisexual pride #bisexual #michael afton x you #micheal afton #michael afton fluff #x reader #x male reader #male reader #male y/n #fluff just fluff #michael afton x reader #pure fluff #this is the first time I made a blog on Tumblr pls make this work

[crownofbegonias]

🍃🌿🌸🌱🍃

#song added purely for ‘zoo time is she and you time’ thank you goodnight #happy pride month to howard and vince #also I added the piercings for funsies then forgot to erase them before exporting so there they are #if I ever stop adding unnecessary and non-canon piercings that’s not me I’ve been replaced #vince noir #howard moon #howince #the mighty boosh

[lucky-numberme]

happy pride to Trice Forgotten most beloved podcast

(this is from the old days when Anh and Alestes both worked for Gammon)

[ID: A two panel comic based on the "gay meth" comic featuring Trice Forgotten characters. In the first panel, Gammon stands with hands behind his back and grins cockily at Alestes, saying "It's pride month Alestes. You know what that means." Alestes frowns back at him with hands on hips, and says "...huh? ...what?" In the second panel she says, "Do you want us to do like... even gayer piracy? what?" Gammon walks away, silently grinning to himself. Anh is sitting on a ladder in the corner looking at Alestes and says, "I wish you would" End ID]

#did I do this purely out of love for Anh? yes. yes I did #i cant believe this is the first piece of trice forgotten fanart i actually managed to finish. good lord #anyways hi trice forgotten ppl i miss our good show #trice forgotten #alestes #pham thi anh #anh #lesbian pirate rights #pride comic #rusty quill network #anhlestes

[grunge-mermaid]

Saint Mika, Angel of Pride (x)

#mika #mikasounds #mika penniman #what a beautiful poptart #what a beautiful human #disneyland paris pride is just absolute pure queer euphoria and it is The Fucking Best #(second to Francofollies but god damn the energy is so good)

[kthulhu42]

Me too, anonymous alleyway graffiti. Me too.

#Lesbian #lesbian pride #Radical pussy forever #graffiti #graffiti art #street art #Yes I know I'm bi but this is 100% pure lesbian graffiti and it is a gift

[machine-finch]

Pride months!! Pride moth!!

#vftr #Hollow #Noon #Pure Vessel #hollow knight #moth oc #pride art #nonbinary #transgender #pansexual #my art

[scytheral]

ㅤ⸝⸝ㅤ⬧ㅤPLEONELLAㅤ⦂ㅤA gender Connected to Divinity , Purity , Femininity && Ethereality. ( or ) Being a Divine && Pure femme Of ethereality , a Etheral Femme of Divinity and Purity , Etc.

——ㅤCoined by The Prince.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ——ㅤDay 01 of This event.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ——ㅤTagㅤ:ㅤ꒰ㅤ@purietteㅤ꒱ㅤ!

[ PT / Pleonella: a gender connected to divinity, purity, femininity and ethereality. (or) being a divine and pure femme of ethereality, a etheral femme of divinity and purity, etc. / END PT. ]

Pronounciation: plee-ouh-nee-lah

#︶︶ㅤ:ㅤThy castle of Divinity. #Pleonella #puriette400 #Divinity #Femme #Pure #Ethereality #mogai #mogai blog #mogai post #mogai friendly #mogai flag #mogai pride #mogai community #mogaireal #mogai identity #mogai gender #mogai heaven #pro mogai #actually mogai #mogai coining #xenogender #xenogender coining #xeno coining #my flags #coinings #my terms #femgender #fingender #divinegender

[prommytheus]

prosecutor doodle page

#simon blackquill #sebastian debeste #taka #i wont bother tagging klav since hes like barely there #i really like my hc that simon also went to themis and was friends with some of the underclassmen (klav and sebastian) #so it is featured here #anyway uh. i want to write a fic about simons time in prison but its just diary entries describing stupid ass shit hes done to pass the time #like kicking blaise debeste in the nards and climbing fences to befriend crows yknow. simon stuff #also pride flag taka because i think its funny to imply simon owns a lesbian flag purely for the purpose of putting it on his bird