#queers can't sit

[lazylittledragon]

thinking about modern vampires who aren't suspicious bc they're just the local goth couple

#art #doodle #comic #the damsons #they're both queer obvs #they can't sit right #also i believe that if you're going to make a m/f goth couple #he should be wearing JUST AS MUCH MAKEUP AS HER #if not more #it's only fair #also hi i'm still alive i just went to a festival and my brain has been reset

[chirpsythismorning]

Why I Don’t Experience Byler Doubt

It’s simple. One of the most essential techniques in storytelling: Show, don’t tell.

Show, don't tell is a technique that allows the audience to experience the story through actions, words, subtext, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than exclusively through the creators' exposition, summarization, and description.

Even more importantly (assuming we want to enjoy ourselves bc this is supposed to be high quality entertainment), it adds drama. Rather than telling viewers what's happening, a filmmaker will use this technique to show drama unfold. 'Telling' is factual and avoids detail; while 'showing,' is detailed and places the human subject at the centre of the drama.

This technique is literally playing out in the narrative when it comes to Mike’s inability to tell El he loves her (or even simply write love Mike in his letters), which he never would have had to tell her (spell out) in the first place, if he had just shown her that he loved her.

It’s no fun having to spoon feed your audience. Instead, it's much more enjoyable for the storyteller to present the truth in the details, even sometimes contradicting very basic assumptions that are being outright told. Hence why, for example, when the Duffers were asked about the Vecna reveal, Ross used the opportunity to go on a mini tangent: 'the best twists are ones that you go, “Oh, I should have seen that coming.” As opposed to the twists that go, “Oh, well that just came out of nowhere.” So, “Oh, I missed these clues along the way.” But you get nervous when you’re writing it because you go, “Well, to me it seems obvious--'.

In fact, Show, don't tell is what largely allows surprise revelations to hide in plain sight. Because obviously, if a writer just tells their audience everything that's happening while it's happening, we would always see what's coming next.

And so the problem I have with downplaying or even completely refusing to acknowledge the importance of Show, don't tell, in the case of Stranger Things especially, is that, in order to comfortably subscribe to what is being told, I have to ignore what is being shown.

We see this play out all the time on Reddit in particular, which if I'm being honest is the only platform at this point that treats mere speculation about Will and Mike's relationship as if it is the end of the world. On the rare occasion the mods don't remove a byler related post, the post is either already negative towards byler or the comments are filled with fury over the poster simply thinking critically by speculating about byler. Even if you manage to get a fan over there in the comments to consider certain evidence pointing towards byler as incriminating, they'll still manage to end it by downplaying the Duffers and their abilities, because 'They're not that smart!'...

They'll ask for evidence, be presented with it, only to insist that it's all reaching because details mean nothing and everything about the show is actually just surface level, ie. it's not that deep.

Without even realizing it, they're low-key admitting that going the byler route would be smart, and yet here they are tirelessly defending a show that, according to them, has shit writers and no deeper purpose. All this does is prove that they are hoping this is the case. Because even despite being presented with strong evidence that the show might very well be epic, they would rather reject it altogether.

They would rather have one of their favorite shows suck and defend it religiously, then consider the possibility that it's good and gay...

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely fans on reddit that don't hate byler. I imagine out of the million in that sub, there's a silent majority that would be open to it. Keep in mind, most fans still active at this point in hiatus are hardcore fans, and so they're obviously opinionated, that goes for everyone on most platforms rn. And yet, I know there are very likely casual fans who are popping in there every now and then, the same people in the majority when after s4 dropped, saw that monologue and said What the actual fuck was that?

There’s a reason no other couple on the show has needed to hear the words I love you to believe it. Well, besides Steve and Nancy…

Because SHOW, DON'T TELL. That's why!

So, what do I mean when I say that Show, don't tell is why I no longer have byler doubt?

It's actually pretty ironic, but basically the moment Mike told El he loved her, that's the moment they showed us that he didn't.

I mean, for starters, how does one go about filming a romantic love confession? Because if we're being entirely serious right now, they made just about every artistic and creative choice possible to go against what a romantic love confession should look like to feel satisfying.

I mean, you'd probably want the atmosphere to be intimate, right? Make the audience feel like these two are the only two people in the room (world) for this moment?

Well, that's not the case for Mike and El, nor is it the case for literally any of their scenes in s4 (arguably a lot of their scenes in the series; Will the wise drawing in El's room, I'm looking at you). Almost all of the scenes with them together in s4 had Will in the background, often times in the literal frame between them. That is NOT how you film scenes for a romantic pairing that you want the audience to root for, from beginning to end.

You guys gotta understand, rewatch value is one of the most important aspects to this story for the Duffers. When talking about the prospects of s5, they mentioned that they rewatched all the Lord of the Rings, saying how important it was, despite what some fans might say about the ending being too long, or this or that, bc to them, it was necessary to watch it all, and to rewatch it and rewatch it, in order to appreciate the entire story as a whole, aka the way it was intended.

If you're a serious about Mike and El as a romantic pairing, but because of the way the show has set up their relationship over the seasons, you can't sit down and enjoy more than a quarter of each season bc they're either separated, broken up, or on the rare occasion they are together and happy, they're accompanied by a kicked puppy in every shot, maybe all of that's for a reason.

And that applies to the scene in Surfer Boy more than any other scene in the show, a scene that is supposed to be Mike's monologue to El... You mean a scene that directly parallels Mike's monologue to Will in s2?

When planning the end of s4, do we think the Duffers just decided they wanted this intimate moment between Mike and El to have Will in the frame behind Mike (visually piggybacking off of him, in an episode titled The Piggyback...) in almost every shot, including when he said I love you for the first time, for no reason at all? Or is it possible there was a reason for it? Just like there's been a greater reason for everything?

Like bro, I'm sorry, but even if what's being told in that scene is relevant, all of it still reads as either a lie, a partial lie, a lie of omission or a platonic truth hiding behind romantic phrasing: I don't know how to live without you = platonic (trauma bond), whereas I can't live without you/I don't want to live without you = romantic. The later is out of desire/want, the former is out of fear of the unknown.

The entire scene the lighting is blinking rapidly. And so the vibe they're going for here is uncertainty, which is quite odd for a love confession that's supposed to feel certain? Then we have El seeing all red the entire time. She's literally choking, hearing Mike struggle to muster up anything that could help her pull through, only to overhear Will calling Mike the heart, followed by Mike finally saying I love you????

And I guess according to the Duffers, nothing says true love like a love confession ending abruptly by a two day time jump...

Oh and how about, instead of them taking the time at the end of the season for El and Mike to have a private moment, where they could finally address their love for one another, let’s have them barely on speaking terms, and the one time they do talk, let’s have it be offscreen and mentioned in a private moment between Will and Mike, who in contrast to Mike and El, we're going to prioritize having a scene with them alone together at the end of this season...

In the last minutes, let’s have El look at Mike and Will, only to avoid them with visible annoyance. And THEN let’s show Mike visibly defeated by El's annoyance, instead prioritizing reassuring Will, aka his friend with whom he shares an I didn’t say it/ You didn’t have to bond...

I mean? Are we just not going to talk about it? The fact that I didn't say it/You didn't have to could pass off as a literal synonym for Show, don't tell...

It just kills me that even with all of that, the Duffers were like, You know what? Fuck it. Let's show them all the endgame couples lined up next to each other, with Will and Mike in the middle and El standing on her own in front of them. If by now they still refuse to consider it, after everything, this ending probably wont convince them anyways, but it makes for great rewatch value...

Seriously, if you're subscribing fully to the belief that what is being told is the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help you god), then you're having to ignore all of that. And I can't ignore all of that, I just can't. Which makes it impossible for me to experience doubt anymore.

#byler #stranger things #byler doubt #not really #quite the opposite #but i'll tag in case #show don't tell allows you to acknowledge what is being shown AND told bc the truth of what's being told is hiding in the details #that's not the case for people only wanting to believe what's being told bc they're having to completely ignore the details to believe it #like i know for milkvans... byler scenes do NOT work in their favor #whereas for bylers... pretty much all milkvan scenes do work in our favor #and so genuinely i just can't experience doubt anymore #arguing with antis is fun to me #looking at reddit posts is peak entertainment #ppl praying to the gods that ST sucks bc they would rather have that be the case than it be an intricate story with deeper meaning #bc then that would mean all the queer-coding that's been hiding in the details all along was intentional... #there's nothing I can do for ya'll except sit here and watch you unpack that #reddit is going to be quite the spectacle over the next couple years #once byler happens there's probably going to be instant denial #then mourning #then acceptance #or whatever the 4(?) stages of grief are #then they'll eventually get to a point where they will allow themselves to look at the evidence instead of avoiding it out of fear #and that's when it's finally going to hit them #oh my god #it's me #i'm part of the reason they had to water it down #bc even upon being presented with evidence #they rejected it #and now they gotta give credit to tumblr bylers who discovered most of the evidence they've been shitting on for the last few years #honestly i'm looking forward to it

[queerclarkkent]

Okay so my dad has dyslexia and he's trying to write my mum a love letter but he can't spell it

So he enlisted the help of my sister - who is ALSO dyslexic

So they came to me, weirdly, and asked me to help them write it

Two dyslexics and an aromantic write a love letter : a play in irony

#aromantic #demiromantic #christmas #Love letter #Romance?? #i don't know her #My aromantic arse can't write a love letter #Help #dyslexia #Spelling?? #Like language #Not the cool kind #With witches #We've been sitting in a circle scratching our heads for 20 minutes #Ouch #Aghhhh help #queer #Also my sister signed off on this post so I'm not being mean i swear

[pokimoko]

Hi, I've seen your art with the LGBTQIA+ animals, and I wanted to ask if you could do a pansexual otter ? I'm pansexual and I love otters.

Thank you, and kisses from France!

Thank you for the kisses, dear anon. Here is a little otter just for you 🩷💛💙

#ask #art #art request #my art #pansexual #pan #otter #animal art #queer art #critter series #digital art #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq+ #apologies for the huge delay on this one anon. it's been sitting near finished on my computer for ages but i only just got it done #i can't say i'm still 100% happy with it but if i keep picking at it it'll never be done. so here it is. almost a month and half later 😅 #i too love otters so big hand shake with you on that one #id in alt

[cookinguptales]

Something I always think about a lot during disability/chronic illness/rare illness pride months is like... It is wild how often people will come up to me and want me to listen to some guilty secret they have re: disability and expect me to tell them it's okay.

Like... once I was waiting for my dad to bring the car up at the airport, and this guy approaches me and starts telling me why he'd never want to date a disabled woman. (I'm gay and completely uninterested in men, which made this whole interaction even more awkward.) And after talking about all the reasons why people like me would not make a good partner he turns those sad eyes on me like, "But that doesn't make me a bad person, does it? I'm not doing anything wrong. Like, you get it, don't you?"

You get it, don't you?

I hear that one a lot.

Like when the grad student teaching one of my classes at my university was chatting to me after class and told me that once she and her friends went to Disney World and pretended to be disabled to get onto the rides faster. I recognized the nervous laughter, the entreating look. The you get it, don't you?

I understand what these people are asking me for. They want absolution. They want this disabled person, maybe the first real disabled person they've ever talked to, to listen to their guilty secret and tell them they're okay. They're not a bad person. I don't mind. I don't judge them. I get it.

But frankly... I don't get it. These people often tell me that they've done things that make disabled people's lives actively worse. Disney has changed their policies re: disability because so many able-bodied people were abusing them. Companies and organizations walk back accommodation policies all the time because they're being abused. That grad student who pretended to be disabled actively made disabled people's lives harder.

And I don't really give a shit if one asshole dude doesn't want to date disabled women (probably better for those women, tbh) but I know how bad it feels to be ghosted on a dating app when you talk about accessibility, even when your profile is explicit about your disability. I know that I felt like I was not worth loving in spite of my disability for years because I knew that people like that guy would only see all the ways I'd slow them down.

Guys like that actively make us hate ourselves.

But like... it's wild how these people don't see how the only thing crueler than harboring these feelings and doing these things is making some random disabled person listen to their stories. My day was going great before some guy practically gave me a powerpoint about why I should never expect to have a relationship. I really enjoyed that class before I found out that my teacher had participated in the exact kind of ableist theft of accommodations that was currently making it difficult for me to get accommodations at that school.

They took this weight they were holding on their shoulders and then forced it onto mine -- and then expected me to comfort them. To tell them it was okay. To throw my fellow disabled folks under the bus.

And -- both of these times in particular, I was in situations where I was not really free to speak my mind. Alone with a big guy in a parking garage? Alone with the woman who would ultimately decide my grade for the class? The power differential there was huge. And whether they were consciously doing it or not, they were leveraging that power differential to try and force me to give them absolution.

I made noncommittal noises. Really, what else was I supposed to do? And even then, I could see the spark of disappointment and anger in their eyes. I was supposed to tell them it was okay that they'd hurt me and people like me. I was supposed to tell them they were still good.

But I didn't want to offer them absolution, and I was angry that they'd asked for it in the first place. I can't offer you forgiveness for something you know is wrong -- and that you've done nothing to fix. Moreover, I won't. You should feel bad that you hurt us. You should feel guilty. It's a shitty thing to do.

If you want to feel better about yourself, stop doing shitty things!

And I knew these people were still doing shitty things because dumping all this on me when I was just minding my own business was in and of itself a shitty thing. Trying to transfer their burden to me. Reminding me about the discrimination I have to face every day just so they could feel better. Expecting me to do emotional labor on command for strangers because it doesn't matter if I hurt so long as they feel good.

That's shitty! Don't do it! I already have to use physical crutches, don't try to turn me into an emotional one!

#I'm sure this happens a lot with other marginalized groups too #though I'll admit it rarely happens to me with queer issues #even though I often choose to mark myself as visibly queer #I can't actually make that choice re: disability #I really need my assistive devices #but damn they see the woman sitting there in a wheelchair and it's like they see a sitting duck #they know it'll be harder for me to get away from them sometimes I think #and they'll just start unloading #fuckin hate that #ableism #disability

[secretly-of-course]

[image ID: a screenshot of Masha sitting at their desk. Superimposed on the image is a tweet from Katie @/skatie420 that reads, "i just started dating a girl who was already a worm to avoid all that drama."]

#toh #the owl house #masha toh #veesha #masha x vee #also. appreciate how masha can't sit in a chair correctly. true queer rep.

[lifeonkylesfarm]

If you're the guy who pissed on the disabled stall toilet seat today: I hope you go to hell <3

#we have to sit on that bestie! #put the damn seat up to pee if you can't control yourself #and for the love of god put the seat back down #remember that the stall is not for you #the big stall is for disabled people #the people who often need to sit! you dumbass! #not all men pee standing up #this goes for cis and trans men #im done with my rant now #disabled rights #disabled #disabled access #actually disabled #disability advocacy #invisible disability #physical disability #disability activism #disability rights #disabled people #disabled queer #disabled blogger #disabled community #disabled life #disabled problems #disabled is not a dirty word #disabled representation #disability #disability rant #disability problems

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by the fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @jimin-gaon <33 here's the december list

apologies for being late again new year same me: @aprylynn @jiminsproof @pauls-mccharmly @thvinyl @visionsofgideontheninth @btsbs @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @eoieopda @monismochi 💜 and anyone else who feels so inclined MWAH p.s. please do tag me anyway if you've already done it

#superfluous commentary in the tags as per usual: #i feel you - ADORE THIS TRACK i can't even explain what it does to my psyche except that it initiates a beach episode. #noso is a phenomenal queer artist and you should check them out #smoke and mirrors - ms faith back in action on the rotation i loved this album in 2009 and it still hits. for the love of GOD take me back #loving you - i am a paolo nutini stan if nothing else. exceptional #love is all around - i am in my frazzled english woman era hence the romcom soundtrack #and tell me who could possibly embody that frazzled english spirit better than four weddings hugh grant #boys don't cry - it's the cure by name and the cure by nature for one listen and i am FIXED!!! #she's always a woman - now billy joel is a great name for a cat or hamster but i digress. the stranger album of the year 2023 (again i fear) #little bird - was annie lennox in the last one?? i still have this on repeat. #googling the lyrics and it thinks i want the jonas brothers and it makes me want to sit right down and cry cry cry i'll tell you that much #jenny - paolo again can you blame me? i cannot express how much i adore his entire discography. #these scottish italians... deadly combination for my mental health. peter capaldi sit down #white flag - dido save me.. save me dido... my jihope anthem because i WILL go down with this ship #eternal flame - banger after banger it's almost as if i made this playlist myself!! can you feel my heart beating??? i apologise #as for the artist list #norah jones and jamie cullum christmas albums on repeat lord forgive me for i have listened to jazz #hozier and abba seem to make it without fail every month. for those who aren't familiar hozier is like if abba were irish. and bitchless. #NOW I'VE SAID TOO MUCH #the rest of the artists are fab of course but does olivia dean know i would die for her? #anyway. insert closing statements #tag #receiptify #MWAH

[spaghett-onaplate]

sixth day at my new school and i didn't sit alone at lunch today 🥳🥳

#woohoo!! #some girls invited me to sit with them so i did and chatted to them and this other guy #some of them are in my classes!! they were all very nice #honestly i was aiming to just try and fit in with the cishet boys and last week when i heard the rumour i was gay i was kinda freaked out #but i've scoped out the situation and it's not unsafe to be out (as bi. not anyone's business i'm trans) #so i realise it's better to just be open and have better chances of finding the right people than living in fear and squashing myself to-- #--fit in with the wrong people. bc if i can't be fully myself around someone then why would i want to be good friends with them?? #so yar i'll stick with other queer guys and supportive girls. gay guy/straight girl friendships are stereotypical but it's an ecosystem tha #works in a situation like high school tbh #ooo and i guess he was away today but the guy from a couple of my classes who i think is cute is in that group so added bonus #o and actually unrelated but at recess i went to this queer group thing i was invited to by a teacher last week #(recess is first and lunch is sceond) #i wasn't sure if i was going to go (mostly bc of my 'blend in' mindset) but i'm glad i did!! it was pretty nice #mostly just nice to get an idea of 'safe' people and teachers yaknow #'people and teachers' -- those aren't two mutually exclusive categories of being ajdsgjf but ykwim #and if i didn't go then i probably wouldn't have been in the better mindset for being just myself with everyone at lunch #so wahoo yippee :D #now i just needa keep talking to everyone and putting myself out there a bit more and i'll find the right people :)

[laundrybiscuits]

(technically this is a follow-up to in the half-light, we run, but I think it stands alone okay)

The postcard has “SEX LOVE AND ROCK&ROLL” written in gel pen on the front, with little lightning bolts around it. On the back, it reads: “Steve and Eddie request the pleasure of your attendance as they pledge their troth in unholy non-matrimony on October 31, 1998. Bring zucchini bread please Robin.” 

Robin is going to keep it forever. She throws her arms around Steve and sniffles into his shoulder, “I can’t believe you’re getting married, dingus.”

Steve rubs her back. “We’re not really. Eddie’s pretty clear about that. It’s just…a troth-pledging.”

“Troth-pledging. Dating a nerd has changed you, Steve Harrington,” says Robin. She pulls back a little. “And—and you’re okay with the, uh, non-matrimony?” 

She should already know this. She’s a terrible best friend. But they live in different cities now, and even though they talk all the time, even though they’ve talked about this before, even though she went fucking ring shopping with Steve in ‘88…she doesn’t know. Steve clams up about it sometimes. The fight he and Eddie had in ‘89 when Eddie turned down his proposal was the closest they’ve ever gotten to breaking up, and Robin knows he doesn’t like talking about it. So, she’s just checking in. 

Steve smiles at her, and she thinks it seems real. She’s not always the best at reading people, and as previously mentioned she’s been kind of a terrible best friend lately, but it’s Steve. And she thinks he seems really happy, like actually happy. 

“Yeah. Eddie and I talked a lot about what we want from, like, our future, and…this is it. Just us, promising to be family in front of the people who love us. It’s not gonna change anything between us, but you know how I always liked the idea of a big event. Plus, I reminded Eddie how much he likes dramatic ceremonial shit.”

She’s not sure this is the right thing to say, but she finds herself saying anyway: “I’m sorry you didn’t get the wedding you wanted.”

Steve shakes his head. “The wedding I wanted was something I thought had to happen, for people to be in love. But Eddie and me…I didn’t know I could have this kind of thing, this kind of relationship, without a wedding. And I’ll choose Eddie and no wedding over anyone else with a wedding, every single time. That’s what this whole thing is about.” 

“That’s so romantic, I'm gonna puke,” Robin says. She’s crying a little bit again, but it’s not every day her best friend gets not-engaged to be not-married. She’s allowed to cry.

“C’mon, Buckley.” Steve shakes her gently. “You just got invited to a party. It’s a good thing.”

———

It is a party. Robin’s actually a little surprised, despite the gel-pen save-the-date. But when she pulls up to their house, there are balloons tied to the mailbox, and she can hear laughter and kids yelling from the back yard.

When she pushes open the back gate, balancing foil-wrapped loaves of zucchini bread in one arm, she sees the Byers-Hopper clan is already here. Jonathan is wiping off his twins’ faces because they’re three years old and in a permanent state of stickiness; Joyce is helping Jim into a lawn chair while he grumbles, “What is the damn point of this walker if I can’t get around myself?” 

Will’s hanging out with his new boyfriend on the back porch. Robin hasn’t decided yet whether she likes the new guy or not, but Will seems happy enough. 

“Robert!” Eddie bounds over to her, beaming. “And zucchini bread!”

Robin hugs him, laughing. “I can tell which one you’re more excited about, Edna. Where’s Steve?”

“Oh, I see, that’s how it is,” whines Eddie. “My dearest friend is cruelly abandoning me for my bronzed boy-toy. It’s fine, I’ll just waste away here, alone and unloved.”

“Oh my god we’re literally at your not-wedding right now. This is literally your freaking love party, or whatever.” Robin sets the bread down by the pitchers of Kool-Aid and starts peeling open the foil. Eddie wraps his arms around her shoulders from behind and hangs off her like a monkey, which he is both too tall and too heavy to do.

The Sinclairs turn up just then, Max barrelling through the gate and hollering for El. Lucas and Erica are following at a more normal pace, toting big containers of what looks like some kind of potato dish; Eddie disengages from Robin to go steal baby Charlie from Lucas. 

El runs out of the house to throw her arms around Max, and right behind her, wiping his hands on a dish towel, is Steve. 

He’s dressed up a little bit, in a button-down shirt, but he’s wearing ordinary jeans and boots like it’s just another Saturday backyard barbecue. Robin’s kinda glad she decided to throw her beaten-up army jacket on at the last minute, but if she takes it off she’s going to look way too formal in her silky dress. 

“Hey, Robin,” he says. She’s gonna cry again, she just knows it. 

“Hey, dingus. Brought your stupid zucchini bread.” 

Steve laughs and pulls her into one of his jock-y bro-hugs that he knows she hates. “Did you bring—what’s her name, Becca?”

“What? Oh, Bethany? Gross. No. We’re not really dating. I mean we’re dating as in we’ve been on dates, but we’re definitely not, like…”

And then Robin completely forgets what she and Bethany are or aren’t like, because the Wheelers walk in, and Nancy Wheeler is holding some girl’s hand.

(Snippet directory)

#steddie #ronance #if you can't tell I have SEVERAL FEELINGS about the role of marriage in the queer community #it is a complex issue! there are many factors. #I'm not sure about these aged-up character voices but I wrote this all in one sitting and I don't feel like editing it so here we are #also: I think ed & rob would do the cute gay thing that used to be a lot more popular of fucking around with gendered names and terms

[striving-artist]

Hi. I do agree with a lot of what you wrote--there absolutely is a problem of white cisgays pulling up the ladder behind them, no debate on that. But where you're starting to lose me is when you're saying that the 'respectable' gays are the ones who erased their identities to get crumbs from the establishment cake, thereby implying that they're only playacting 24/7 for the small chance of getting at least tolerated. You talk a lot about tone policing and not letting them divide us, but aren't you kind of doing the same thing just in reverse? Because there really are gays who truly want the office job, the suburban home, the marriage. You may find that boring (which is fine), but it doesn't mean they are betraying their 'true' identities or that they are traitors to the larger queer community.

You say we must stand together, and I agree 100%. But that also means including the boring ones among us who just want to work 9 to 5 and have their Big Gay Wedding.

Yeah, I can see where I wasn't clear enough. Thank you for pointing it out. In advance, I'm using Gay as a catchall here bc its what we would have said twenty years ago.

I do not care if a person wants to be delightfully boring. If their dream is to have a white picket fence and a dog and be imperceptibly gay, I will fight like hell for their right to have that. And lots of people who have that and want that, continue to support the fight. Love that for them. Maybe they don't want to be in marches and protests, but they can throw money around, and have conversations with conservatives who would never listen to people like my GNC friends. They're still in it, they were never playacting, I love them. I am also deeply boring, just a different variety.

What upsets me, and what then muddied what I was saying is several pieces, which is probably why it got muddy.

First: the gays who have that life, want that life, and as soon as they got the things they wanted, which were early on the checklist of things to fight for, they dipped. I am a big fan of unions and unity. If you're standing with the group, and they fought for you, you have to fight for them. Even if you won the thing you wanted yesterday, you still show up tomorrow. This wasn't everyone, but I knew at least a dozen first hand who did some form of this. In my head, they are the equivalent to scabs, and fuck scabs.

Second. The ones who wanted the whole community to play act being respectable. The ones who, whether they were or not, want us to all act like we're Neil Patrick Harris, and want to shove the wild side of the community into a corner so they won't embarrass us. I can't even say that they were strategically wrong to take that approach back then. It worked. We got marriage rights. But it also created this facade where if you want to be taken seriously as a leader, even now, you have to be the same kind of boring and respectable. It's why someone in heavy drag has a hard time making any argument without it being treated as joke, or an oddity. Even today, anyone outside of respectable gets framed as a bit of sideshow in media and society. It frustrates the hell out of me, and anyone pushing that crap now is on my list to fight. I get why it happened then, but never again.

Third, the people who really do hide who they are in order to get crumbs. I'm not mad at them, I'm mad for them. They shouldn't have to playact just to feel safe in their own home, but bc of point two, thats the only way they feel safe. And it makes me so mad that it spills over into my general tone.

As a fun(?) bonus. And this is not judgement or attack, just an observation. You're very close to falling into the paradox of tolerance trap here. Anytime someone talks about reverse bias, it throws a flag to stop and read closer because it commonly shows up together. Paradox of Tolerance is about the bullshit idea that a Tolerant Society (or person) is tolerant of everyone, including those who are intolerant.

That is false. A Tolerant Society is in a social contract with each other. I will tolerate your love of weird music genre 3, you will tolerate my love of weird hobby 4. As soon as someone enters who insists that their Intolerance be tolerated, they have broken that social contract, and the rest of us are no longer bound to tolerate them.

In practice for what you brought up: The foundation of the queer community is that we have each others backs, even if we're not into what you're into. I'm not Ace, I'll fight for them. My friend isn't a lesbian, they'll still show up to fight for their rights. I have no patience for, and I will never tolerate, someone who claims to stand under the queer umbrella while trying to shove others out, or define what Correct is. They broke the contract when they stopped supporting the entire group, they're no longer part of the group.

#queer community #I'm sorry I'm so wordy it's a problem #terfs use this a lot #the idea that we have to include them in queer stuff even though they hate whole bunches of us #no; you broke the contract so you can't sit with us until you rejoin the contract #it is a paradox and it is easy to trip yourself on it #please dont' let it #we don't tolerate the intolerant #hands down full stop go directly to jail

[piplupod]

that question is sparked by me seeing a very obnoxious (i.e. eyestrain to the point of inducing a headache) dni banner that lists "bi lesbians" on it and I look at the person's carrd and they have "anti-neopronoun/xenogender/mogai" listed right underneath "bi lesbians/lesboys/etc and supporters"

and i am just. feeling a little crazy. because i genuinely do not understand this fsdjkl i feel like... if you are supportive of xenogenders then you should understand gender is complex and doesn't line up nicely with sexuality labels sometimes so you have to twist things to make them fit right for you and your internal experience... this is why we have cool labels like cloudgender and stargender and all that fun stuff!! these labels are cool! they are good! so why suddenly are we saying that lesbians and gays who do not fit the traditional "i am solely a woman attracted solely to other only-ever-women" box are wrong and bad ?

i dont want to be saying horrible things bc im misunderstanding or straight up not seeing the issue though, so genuinely if anyone has insight please tell me because im so beyond confused at this point

#also isn't gay considered an umbrella term at this point? i.e. the gay community (the queer community)? #like it has a meaning yeah but we also use it as an umbrella term in wider culture i thought... maybe i am misunderstanding that though #so im just ... not sure what the whole ''mspec gay'' being bad is about #this is hurting my head im rly trying to figure out what ppls issues are with this #and i just. i think maybe its the whole ''words have meaning! we can't muddy the waters!'' which is totally fair #i'm not sure what the answer is #but also i think maybe even if ppl ID as bi lesbians... i think everyone in the wider world still understands lesbian to mean wlw #and i really doubt that'll change anytime soon. so i don't think that its necessarily an issue? #am i talking nonsense right now? sticking my foot in my mouth? im just very confused fdsjkl im rly trying to figure this out #i've been sitting watching it all for the past few months and i cannot wrap my head around it so ... i come hat in hand to ask here LOL #idk maybe i just shouldnt ask questions but i really want to understand things fsgjkl and i've been trying to figure it out on my own #and i'm getting absolutely nowhere so dsgjkl i figure its okay to reach out to a community to ask instead of driving myself crazy alone #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[shirogane-oushirou]

thank you, tv room, for giving me a brain blast and helping me FINALLY decide between some different ren origin options after mulling over them for months :) he may have come fully formed in my brain personality-wise, but i'm still working on details.

still waiting on that voice claim brain blast tho KJANSFKJN

#literally been listening to two tv room tracks for MONTHS... and when i finally looked up the full albums last night #it was like a neon sign pointing me to something obvious that i hadn't thought to look up ;; #currently: mom's french canadian > immigrates to maine after meeting his dad there > ren's born > he moves south for college / to escape #and i'm gonna hide this in the tags bc despite it all i'm still nervous KJANSDFKJN but #after all this time i'm wondering if i'm building up the voice thing when it isn't like... i'm-gonna-be-crucified bad? #he is absolutely peak white liberal + everything but his most recent stuff is Genuinely Bad... maybe this will give it away #but i only knew about him from vine and from other white liberals talking up his most recent n/etflix special when it released... #so seeing the other stuff while looking for ren-isms Took Me Out. but he's clearly... grown? i guess?? still irony poisoned #and cynical and annoying as shit but... yknow... more harmful comedians are given bigger platforms etc etc. #if that's enough to give shit away and you know anyone who has a similar voice and isn't. yknow. him? i'm Begging and Pleading. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 #evil brain blast cursed me and i've been working to break the curse ever since... so any and all recs are VERY much appreciated ;;; #currently searching through queer comedians to see if i can find anyone w the same tone but not having as much luck as i thought i would. #SEND TWEET KJSANDFKJn been sitting on this for a couple of hours. Debating. it's gonna happen eventually tho so it might as well be now. #📌 [ my posts. ] #🍄 [ lying on the blade of an emotion. ] #🦦 [ can't escape it. ] #✨ [ oc lore. ] #✏️ [ my scenarios. ] #🐸 [ look ahead. ] #🧃 [ who is in control. ]

[izzy-b-hands]

Izzy Hands cosplay is far from perfect (my grey hairs are still too few and don't show well, and I need actual leathers someday that eventually I'm gonna be able to save for dang it) but! It is v comfy and it's nice to dress up for the holiday

Bonus Izzy pumpkin that Housemate helped me carve bc they Get It re: characters that live in your bones after the first time you see them and when something frustrating/sad/etc happens to them. They helped get the lil tattoo looking much better!

#text and photo post #im looking forward to improving the izzy cosplay once i have the funds for it #bc it'll be a bonus as my first actually leather item proper #since finding comfort and welcome in the leather community #is this a low key dig at the show for (probably accidentally but still) doing the leather community dirty #in how they treated izzy and anyone who showed a rougher/different sort of queer on the show #yeah but no one really cares so im just sitting with it along with all the other complex show feelings now lmao #this is still lowkey the comfiest thing ive ever put together and i need more reasons to wear it all lol #also expect more fix it and other sorts of funking with canon to improve it somehow fic from me soon #as of the last two days i have like twelve new drafts my writer brain is So Frustrated with the show for all the characters as of the finale #ooh also. i keep forgetting things sorry i am VERY stoned to avoid some emotions tonight #also. Housemate was lovely and gave me the current vest to keep and i am so happy and grateful for it #bc it's my first ever from the mens section vest (yes i came out Very Late compared to most ppl. i came out in ND this can't b shocking lol) #and it fits nicely even with me not having top sx yet and i just love it #wouldn't mind figuring out how to sew leather onto it somehow to give it the look tbh just bc of how nicely it fits #im rambling im emotional I'm izzy shouting at the unicorn ill stop sorry y'all