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Here’s a challenge for you. Take a pen and paper and write down all the things that are getting on your nerves that you can change RIGHT NOW. You can’t sleep because your neighbor’s dog is loud? Talk to them! Your kids are having trouble at school? Speak to their teachers and, most importantly, to THEM. You don’t like the way your living room looks? Rearrange it! It often takes less than we imagine to make ourselves happy.

So, what are you going to do TODAY to make your life easier?

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“I must not think of the solar system—of innumerable galaxies spanned by countless light years—of infinities of space—I must not look up at the sky for longer than a moment—I must not think of death, of forever—I must not do all those things so that I will not know these horrible moments when my mind seems a tangible thing—more than my mind—my whole spirit—all that animates me and is the original and responsive desire that constitutes my “self”—all this takes on a definite shape and size—far too large to be contained by the structure I call my body—All this pulls and pushes—years and strains (I feel it now) until I must clench my fists—I rise—who can keep still—every muscle is on a rack—striving to build itself into an immensity—I want to scream—my stomach feels compressed—my legs, feet, toes stretching until they hurt.”

Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1963, Susan Sontag

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Es fühlt sich so an als wäre ich in einer wochenlangen Prüfung. Happy Halloween. Der Winter beginnt. Der Sommer war kalt. Und ich fahre schon so lange Karussell, dass ich nicht mehr klar denken kann. So viele verschiedene Botschaften, Mitteilungen.

Halloween. Karneval.

Welches Kostüm nimmt man, und wer steht wirklich da? Wie soll man in dem ganzem Chaos etwas finden, sehen, sich selbst finden, andere erkennen?

Bin ein Etwas auf einem Spielplatz und der Platz ist voller Menschen. Aber man ist erwachsen, kommt nicht aus sich raus.

Psychose „Das Kostüm“

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Anne Somerset, Elizabeth I
Three days after her sister’s death, Elizabeth herself was to declare, ‘The burden that has fallen upon me maketh me amazed,’ but in fact, the composure with which she faced the challenges that awaited her was quite extraordinary.  Far from making her uncertain of herself, the vicissitudes she had endured in the past had revealed to her her inner strengths and heightened her self-esteem, for she knew that it was largely owing to her intelligence and willpower that she had emerged unscathed from these ordeals.  Merely to have survived was a legitimate cause for congratulation, but the way she had deflected all attempts to blacken her character, or to fetter her future freedom of action, was in many ways a still more remarkable achievement, and one which buoyed her up as she contemplated the uncharted waters ahead.  But it was not merely her faith in herself that had been enhanced by her experiences, for she had no doubt that it was God who had placed her where she was, and she was sure that having guided her through the pitfalls and uncertainties of her sister’s reign, He would continue to afford her His protection.  As she was to state, shortly after her accession, she regarded herself as ‘God’s creature’, and though 'but one body, naturally considered’, she was 'by His permission a body politic, to govern’.
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