#real gay sappy hours

[saurile]

Lesbians remind me how to breathe again when you're on your way to hug and kiss your girlfriend after 2 months

#sapphic yearning is so real holy fuck i miss my girlfriend #agsgaggsgahahgsgsgs im so excited oh my god #i have the most amazing adorable cute handsome lover in the while world #and i love them so dearly and so so much #and i had 3 hours of sleep last to make it to my 6am bus #i am sleeby and i am sappy and i love my girlfriend #great combination 10/10 definitely recommend #be sleepy be gay

[ultimateloserboy]

sorry dhmis fandom i havent been around to ramble as much because i was off getting mad bitches and touching grass. but im back and ready to get really sappy and emotional and compare my life to old man yaoi. so anyway. do you ever think about how lonely the main three are despite being right next to each other. how they really do love each other but they dont trust each other nor do they know how to properly treat each other. like they try their best but their best isnt enough. they try to teach themselves how to love but its made them selfish. growing up in shitass nowhere alabama, traumatized as fuck, this is how friendships have sometimes felt for me. nothing is serious, everything is ignored, everything is funny no matter what. our words may sting each other but we stay silent and fake a laugh. and then those friendships would fade into weird gay bromances. and yeah those middleschool ass homo-friendships might be shitty but theres something so nice about the moments in the dark, when you realize you like looking at each other. when you realize that maybe you should be kinder. maybe you should trust them more. maybe if you hold their hand long enough and close your eyes tight enough you wont have to go back to pretending to be cruel. and it might notve worked back in middle school, we may have crashed and burned, but i still look back fondly on those moments in the dark. and now that im older, and ive learned to be kinder, and ive met others whove learned the same, im finally with someone that likes looking at me even when the lights are on. im surrounded by people whove lived and learned. like sonic adventure two am i right guys. but seriously. ive said this before and ill say it again. dont hug me im scared makes my fucked up life feel represented, but it also gives me hope. those gayass puppets may forever be trapped in toxic yaoi, but i am not, we as real people are not. theyll learn how to love and forget in an hour, their efforts are hopeless, but ours are not. GO OUT AND KISS YOUR HOMIES TODAY. BE KIND. LOVE YOURSELF AND LOVE EACH OTHER. HOLD THEIR HAND IN THE DARK AND IN THE LIGHT. THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE DESERVE MORE THAN A MINUTE OF AFFECTION. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN A MINUTE OF AFFECTION. WE ARE HUMAN AND WEVE MADE MISTAKES, AND WELL MAKE THEM AGAIN, BUT WE CAN CHANGE, WE CAN GROW, THEIR LIFE WILL NEVER CHANGE BUT OURS WILL. THEY WILL NEVER DIE BUT WE WILL. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON FOR THE MISTAKES YOUVE MADE, BUT YOU SHOULD FIX THEM WHILE YOU CAN, BETTER YOURSELF WHILE YOU CAN. DONT SPEND YOUR LIFE DRIFTING AND WAITING FOR A FRIDGE SCENE TO HAPPEN. MAKE EVERY DAY YOUR FRIDGE SCENE. AMEN

#this might be about my beautiful partner and how theyve changed my life so what #i like looking at them #dhmis #dont hug me im scared #dhmis tv show #dhmis tv series #fluffybird #dhmis analysis #dhmis trio #dhmis fandom

[redlinereblogs]

so ashley (@towez) and i were talking and i wrote this sappy/angsty 1988 chat fit thingy and she encouraged me to share it.

Me: Yesterday I had the poopiest day at work so I was listening to a lot of evermore and I got champagne problems and tis the damn season back to back (so obvi I listened to those two on repeat for an hour). Anyways. I kept thinking of a 1988 version and I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about it bc of the snow!!!

Ashley: TELL ME EVERYTHING! WAIT do these versions end happy??????? Those are two sad songs Jules

Me: Of course it’s happy. We just have to get there Ashley. No worries. It’s always happy. They have to be happy. It’s the law.

Okay. So. Both Jonny and Pat attended SSM. They were on the same line and didn’t room together in the dorms but were road roomies. And they hated each other but then didn’t!!! And fell in luv!! 🥰

So they are in LOVE!! And no one knows because they are male hockey players who want to make the show and they can't be gay. So it is a SECRET!! And they kiss and hold hands and it’s all so sappy you want to die bc it makes your teeth hurt but also you can’t possibly stop eating it bc it’s too good.

So. They are together. And it’s everything. And they plan to ask for a room together next year (bc they are..like...sophomores let’s say). And it’s all sappy and adorable and I love it.

And then Pat turns 16 and Tiki and the family visit and see a game.

So Pat basically pretends Jonny doesn’t exist. And Jonny’s crushed and Pat doesn’t really know what Jon expected because “it’s my family Jonny. It’s just…it just is what it is.”

And Jon didn’t expect them to make out in front of Pat’s parents or something but “you just acted like I was a teammate. You didn’t even treat me like a friend, Pat!” And he didn’t. When Jonny’s family visited, he made it at least clear that Pat was one of his best friends on the team. Pat didn’t even make it seem like Jon was…well…anyone.

And Pat doesn’t know what to do but he’s got to go have lunch with his dad. And at lunch Tiki explains that he’s arranged some tryouts for Pat. For the junior leagues. The Q and stuff. And Pat’s all “But Dad. We agreed. I’d stay here till, you know, the draft. Play with the team and finish school and stuff.”

And Tiki just brushes off Pat’s objections. He’s old enough for the age limit now. He can do school remote and play some real games. Get his name out there more. He’s not like the others. He’s too small. Too weak. He’s got to make sure the scouts know he can play. Know he can make the difference on these teams if he wants to make it.

Pat sits at the dinner just gutted. “Can I finish out the school year at least?” He might not get to live with Jonny next year but they can at least have the rest of this school year. That's....it's something at least. Tiki shakes his head. “The tryouts are in January. We’ve talked to the school. You’ll be done by winter break.” And. Well. That’s it then.

And Pat doesn’t even know what to say. He finished the sandwich and his dad dropped him back at his dorm and that’s it then.

He goes to Jonny’s dorm because he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. And TJ answers the door and is super “He doesn’t want to talk to you. Go away.” And Pat begs and refuses to move and nearly starts to cry before Jonny tells TJ to back off and let him in. And TJ glares daggers at him but grabs some shit and leaves to give them privacy.

And Jonny’s all silent. And Pat doesn’t know where to start. And then Jonny’s just like “well…” and Pat’s crying and it’s all coming out and he doesn’t know what to do and they have to break up and he doesn’t want to break up. He never wanted to and it’s just awful

And it’s all sad and angsty and terrible. And they say they’re gonna try to go long distance but it doesn’t work at all. Pat’s parents pay his cell bill and he gets a call from his mother asking why he’s got so many long distance charges. and so they try to email and message but it doesn’t work

And then they just stop talking one day. Pat sends an email that isn’t answered. One of Jonny’s messages is left unread. It just stops.

And THEN!! (angst incoming)

Jonny gets hit. It’s one of his last games at SSM. He’s already committed to UND and is projected to go high in the draft. It’s all right there, ready for him and then. It isn’t.

The doctors (thankfully) don’t think he’ll have lasting damage from the concussion but they recommend he doesn’t play anymore. Jonny can’t look anyone in the face. His mother is a wreck. His father’s worse.

All he sees is pity and he hates it.

He doesn’t go to UND. He watches TJ get drafted and goes up to his room and cries. He turns music on and presses his face into his pillow so no one will hear. He has three emails and a dozen messages from Pat, who hasn’t talked to him in years. He deletes everything and blocks Pat.

He heals and moves back home. And figures out a way to have a life without hockey in it.

He and Pat don’t talk.

Until one day, Jon’s got the radio on as he drives into work and there’s a sports segment. That’s how he hears how Pat’s been injured. He’s a big enough star now that it’s news even up in Jets territory that the Hawks star winger is gonna be out for the rest of the season.

Jon winces when they talk about the hit. And then he turns off the truck and heads inside to open up the rec center.

As he pulls in his driveway at night, he pauses. There’s someone on his front porch…

He turns the key and opens the door to see what the fuck is going on. He stops at the bottom step.

“Thought you busted your knee cap.”

“Hello to you too, Jonny.”

And then Pat’s suddenly back in Jonny’s life. And yeah. He’s injured. And can’t really walk well. And the flight up here didn’t do him any favors. And he just keeps taking nonsense about flights and Ubers and lost-and-then-found luggage and Jonny eventually breaks in with, “What the fuck are you doing here, Pat?”

And Pat doesn’t really know how to answer that because the question he’s really been asking himself for nearly a decade now is “What the hell am I doing so far away from Jon?” Every time they played Winnipeg he told himself he’d reach out. And he never did.

He even broke down once and got TJ’s number so he could ask him how Jonny was. TJ told him to fuck off and then blocked him.

So Pat doesn’t really answer. And says he’s gonna go.

And Jonny (being Jonny) says he doesn’t have to leave now. It’s late. You can stay here.

And Pat does.

And Jonny feeds him. And eventually. They talk. And they joke. And laugh.

And Pat ends up staying through the weekend.

And then it’s a week.

And then, one night, he doesn’t go into the guest room. He shyly slips under the covers of Jon’s bed. Jonny watches him do it and doesn’t say a word. Pat leans over him a bit. “Is this alright?” He whispers. Jonny nods and puts a hand on his cheek, pulling Pat down for a kiss that’s sweet and soft. And then the opposite of that.

And then they’re just together again. In this small, sacred little bubble.

Jon tells himself it’s temporary. It’s just until the Hawks medical team green lights Pat’s surgery. It’s not real. It’s fake. It’s all fake.

But then Pat calls him “Babe” and Jonny doesn’t want it to be fake anymore.

He wants it to be their life.

He works at the rec center. Pat can teach math at the high school.

They spend summers at Jon’s small cabin and in winter Pat coaches one of the local peewee teams.

They fuck and fight and live.

They save up to go on a cruise with Jon’s family. And spend American Thanksgiving with the Kanes in Buffalo.

And then Jonny overhears one of Pat’s phone calls bc he gets home early. Pats arguing with someone. He’s saying that ‘No. It needs to be delayed again. No. No. That’s not going to work—Well I don’t care if I’m violating my contract. They can just sue me then!’

And Jonny knows it’s over again.

He’s lived this nightmare before.

Pat’s life is bigger than this. Pat’s life doesn’t have room for him.

AND THEN!!!

Jonny tries to break up with Pat and Pats like “no!” And Jonny’s like “yes!”

And then they fight and Pat finally breaks down.

"I’m not losing you again Jonny. I’m just—I’m not. It almost killed me the first time and I just…I love you. I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you. I…I love you so much."

And Jonny is just gutted and “I…I love you too…”

And then they kiss and hug and figure out how they’re gonna make it work.

And then they do!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Ashley: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS, that was wonderful. I love a good angsty fic with a happy endingggggggg

Me: It’s even angstier in my head. There was so much DRAMA and I LOVE IT

Ashley: what are some more angstier bits????

Like Pat going on dates with women bc he’s supposed to and hating it. And then going home to google Jonny instead. He finds an account he’s pretty sure is Jonny’s insta but it’s locked so he doesn’t send a request in.

And Jonny watching the Hawks win the cup in ‘10 and seeing the joy on Pat’s face. They talked about winning the cup together. He’d known it was a stupid dream. They probably wouldn’t be drafted together. But it still burns. That maybe, in another life it could have been them.

Pat’s sister gently trying to tell him that they like his girlfriend well enough but also ..it’s…you know…okay if you don’t like her that much….

Jonny putting on skates again for the first time since the hit. He got a job at the rec center part time to rent out skates and run the Zamboni over the ice every so often.

The ice is empty for his first pass and he spots at center ice to cry when it all gets to be too much.

Pat trying to convince Jonny to move to Chicago with him. Jon knowing he can’t. Not because he doesn’t love Pat. But because being that close to Pat playing while he’s not would break him. He thought he processed not playing. He hasn’t.

Ashley: All of this makes me feel things and I love ittttttt Me: I KNOW!!! It’s just. 🥰🥰🥰

#1988 fic #i did it! i actually posted it. it's only two days late lol

[afunfunkytime]

sadly, my silly little rats, the bottle of juice is empty

i have heard your screams and i delight in giving you your juice

but I have no more ):

the silly little guys list has been completed

sobs what do I do now

tell me, my beloveds, what you scream for now. I will give you your juice.

vermont: gay. allegedly has maple syrup instead of water in his water bottle. does not know what social media is. hugs trees. rich as FUCK. probably lives in a mansion. wears a tie.

virginia: NERD. NERD. NERD. hopeless romantic. pretends to read textbooks but hides his sappy romance novels inside them. wanted to be a lawyer until florida quizzed him on how to get out of jail. tries to get mass to hold hands with him. fails. gets laughed at by his little brother west. the epitome of uhm ACHKtually. on student council. thinks that makes him on par with the principal. it does not. hangs flyers up around the school trying to get people to sign up for his debate club.

washington: carries a medical bag with him. he needs it. computer nerd. cant do gym because the asthma is not a vibe so he sits on the side and bullies his friends. may or may not get a dodgeball thrown at his head. somehow he's always wet. probably because he likes walking through the rain like a weirdo. constantly texting oregon under the table. shows up an hour late with his locally brewed organic coffee (its starbucks he put in another cup). likes to think of himself as a y/n from an X reader fic on wattpad. stares out the window like he's in a sad music video. emo. grunge. in a phase.

west virginia: strange fascination with birds. used to smuggle babydog into school when she was a puppy. hes very sweet. oddly dusty. not very good at putting his thoughts down on paper in a way that makes sense to other people but he's real good at hands on work. he slays woodworking. eats at least 2 pepperoni rolls per class. oddly happy.

wisconsin: shows up very rarely. sleeps most of the day. allegedly ate a block of cheese for lunch. its weird because he spread the rumour. its not a rumour. its a fact. and it was delicious. frequently crashes his car in the parking lot. dresses like a dad. wears socks, sandals, shorts, and a coat. what the fuck man.

wyoming: people just tell him things. dude knows all the gossip. he doesn't care about any of it but he knows. does gay things on mountains. acts a lot older than he is. feminist. very good at creative writing. plays dnd with south dakota and montana. probably being gay with them too. nobody notices hes in class most days. how strange. he has perfect attendance.

may I request some ideas from y'all about what y'all wanna see next<3 keep SCREAMING my beloveds

#ben brainard #welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #wttsh #wttt #the table #silly silly silly

[justsome-di]

Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs: Chapter 31

Summary: Alex is an ordinary, highly-introverted office worker. He clocks in and out and goes home to his little apartment he shares with his younger sister. He hasn’t dated in years by the time his co-workers set him up on a blind date.

The only issue is he and his date are not on the same page. At all.

While Alex thinks it’s a normal date, Damián is under the impression Alex is a client who paid to be there. No-so-quickly, they realize something is up. It’s all a prank. Damián is a sex worker Alex’s co-workers hired as a sick joke.

After reassuring that they’re both okay, Alex decides he wants revenge for both him and Damián. The plan is to use the stigma of sex work and start a 6-week, scandalous fake dating scheme with a big finale at the office Halloween party. Alex’s co-workers will be too horrified to try to prank him again. At least, that’s the plan.

You can also read this on AO3. If you don’t want to wait for new chapters, the complete story is on Patreon for only $4 with bonus stories! If you’re enjoying the story and want to support me in other ways, consider dropping me a message in my inbox or reblogging this post!

“We have three days.” Alex paced up and down his apartment. “Three days before this party.”

“And we’ll be prepared! Let’s just go over what we’re telling everyone. And then we can plan last-minute costumes.”

“Damián, we already talk about costumes—“

“You’re crushing my heart! Can we do something small?”

Alex threw his head back. “What are your ideas?”

“Here me out. Bert and Ernie.”

Alex laughed. “Bert and Ernie?”

“All we need to do is find the sweaters.”

“Three days before Halloween?”

Damián sighed. “You’re such a pessimist. I guarantee you we can thrift something.”

Alex wasn’t the biggest fan of dressing up, but Damián looked excited and Alex wanted to make him happy. It felt like the least he could do to make up for all the trouble Damián had gone to.

“Okay,” Alex said. “We can try finding something tomorrow?”

Damián punched the air. “Yes! I promise you it shouldn’t be hard to find striped sweaters. Unless every other gay couple in New York snagged them.”

“I have a hunch at least 80% of gay men living in New York have bought Bert and Ernie sweaters by now.”

Damián leaned forward over his knees and propped his chin on his hand. Alex didn’t know where they stood with what was a lie and what was the truth. There was no clear line anymore. They could go to the party as a couple, but it wouldn’t be totally fake. At least, he didn’t think it would be.

“You’re making your worried face again,” Damián said.

“What face?”

“The one you’re making right now! Your eyebrows are all pinched together. And that’s not good for you. You’re going to get premature wrinkles.”

Alex sighed. “What are we going to tell everyone?”

“We’re going to tell everyone that your co-workers set us up one night and that we hit it off.”

“I know, but—“

Alex still was not totally comfortable with the idea of hiring Damián. It still felt selfish and wrong—even more so now that there were real feelings involved. It felt like Alex wasn’t just exploiting his profession but his emotions.

Anxiety was gnawing away at him. His heart had been racing all night. He had picked away at the skin of his thumb until it bled along his nail.

“But what?” Damián asked. “We’ve been working on this for a month. We’re going for an hour, mingling and rubbing this whole thing in your co-workers’ faces, and then we’ll throw in some sappy things before we leave.”

They hadn’t been working on the whole thing all month. They had gotten distracted.

Alex pressed his hand to his forehead. The whole thing was a nightmare. He wished he had never suggested the stupid idea to Damián in the first place.

But then he would have never gotten to know Damián. He wouldn’t have Damián sitting in front of him with a lopsided smile. He would just be getting ready for work the next day, not even realizing what he was missing out on.

Damián held his arms out. Alex walked towards them, taking Damián’s hands. For a few moments, they just stared at each other.

“Listen,” Damián said. “All we really need to do is make an appearance. We can ditch any time and find something else to do for the rest of the night. Even if that’s just coming back here and watching a movie. Or going to Eve’s party.”

He put his hands on Alex’s hips, and Alex’s worry started to melt away. With Damián with him, in front of him, holding him, he felt good. Damián wouldn’t be stroking his hips with his thumbs if he didn’t want to. He wouldn’t be making plans with Alex after the scheme was officially complete.

“You don’t want to do anything with Leo?” Alex asked. “You said you always do something with him on Halloween.”

“You remember that?”

“Yeah!”

Damián smiled, briefly, and then shrugged. “Leo and I actually had a whole thing last night.”

“What kind of thing?”

“A fight kind of thing.”

Thinking about how often Damián had spoken highly of Leo, Alex thought it must have taken a lot to start a fight between them. But then he thought about the times he had actually seen Leo and Damián together and how Damián had scolded Leo every time.

“What happened?” Alex asked.

“It’s a long story.” Damián shrunk in on himself just a touch. “It’s a whole thing with our family. I’ll explain it someday. But I think things between me and him are going to be tender for a bit.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I think we need a little space to ourselves. He’s stressed about school, and I’ve had our thing going on—we’ll be fine once everything starts to calm down. By May, everything will be good.”

“May’s seven months from now.”

“But if you need to talk about it, I’m here.”

“I know you are.” Damián squeezed his hips. “Thank you.”

Alex was lucky to have found Damián. He was feeling himself become a new person—a better person. There were more breaks in his anxiety. He had stood up to Alex. He was even making new friends with Martin and Sam.

Damián inspired Alex the way that a new year inspired people who made resolutions to go the gym and start eating healthier. With Damián, Alex thought that he could turn his whole life around. He’d be more social. Maybe he would read a book! He was feeling good about that. He was really hyping himself up to find one.

“I have to head out,” Damián said. “I have a client tonight.”

Alex whined, realized he was whining, and internally cringed at himself. He couldn’t be one of those people who pouted when his partner—his whatever Damián was to him—left the room.

“Okay,” he said, composed. “Be safe.”

“I always am.” Damián rose, letting his hands linger on Alex’s hips. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

He almost leaned in for a kiss. Alex saw him start to bend forward. But then he stopped and straightened. He gave Alex another squeeze.

“I’ll see you later,” he said.

“See you later.”

Damián showed himself out, passing Eve on her way in. She complained about just missing him, but he promised he’d see her at the book club meeting tomorrow. Giovanni’s Room, he said, was sitting almost finished on the bookshelf right at that moment.

Where Damián disappeared from Alex’s sight, Eve replaced him. She threw her bag down and looked expectantly at Alex.

“Can we get dinner?” she asked.

“Sure. You can order whatever.”

It was another thing about him that was changing. He was nicer to Eve. He was letting her order dinners and little treats here and there. Overall, his fondness for her was growing. He had always loved her—of course, he loved her from the second he met her. But now he was actually liking her. As a friend and as his baby sister.

With no supervision, he handed her his phone.

Alex stared at the closed door. The paint was peeling from it in little slivers. It had been peeling ever since he moved in. He had been so excited for his own place that he had overlooked all the sloppy paint jobs and rusting faucets and the weirdly-placed light switch inside the shower. It didn’t matter to him that the place didn’t look that nice. He could create distractions with IKEA shelves and cleverly placed framed art from thrift stores.

He also knew, when he began renting the place, that hardly anyone would ever see the inside. There would be no one who would notice the scratches in his cupboards or the small fragments missing from the corners of his countertop—only noticeable when one looked really hard. His mother, of course, noticed the second she set foot in his apartment. But she didn’t count. She would find a flaw in any place he lived.

Eve unlocked his phone. Her black nails curled around it as she typed and threw herself down on the couch. She wasn’t going to extend its lifespan any further if she kept abusing it. There was no way they could afford a new pull-out anytime soon.

“Ew,” Eve said. “Damián texted you.”

“Don’t read my texts!”

Alex snatched his phone from her hands. She looked up with a snarl.

Don’t stay up too late worrying about the party. It’ll be fine <3

“You guys are starting to get gross,” Eve said.

“You’re starting to get gross.” He shoved his phone back. “Just order something.”

“I was trying to before your boyfriend started sending you love letters.”

“He’s not—“

Alex didn’t know. There wasn’t a word for what they were. Eve gave him a sympathetic look. If anyone could understand his confusion and chronic, self-sabotaging loneliness, it was her. But he was determined not to let it get the best of him. After the party, Alex would ask Damián what their next steps would be.

“Do you want Indian?” Eve asked.

“Get whatever.”

“Do you want me to pay the delivery fee? I can Venmo you.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Eve ordered and laid Alex’s phone on the coffee table, next to a coffee ring she had put there a year ago. He couldn’t care less about what Eve was ordering or how much he was going to pay. A little part of him ached for Damián to return.

Their schedules would never work out all that great. Alex worked through the mornings and into the evening. Damián seemed to work mostly at night. The window that they got to spend time together was narrow. But still, there were the Monday night dinners Alex hoped would continue. There were the nights Damián didn’t have to work. If they still continued to see each other, they could make it work. That was the one thing Alex was optimistic about.

Another text from Damián came.

If you need to talk later, I’ll let you know when I’m done with this client. I can’t promise that I’ll be free before it’s late, though. He has me booked for hours.

Alex texted back, Who’s this client?

Some guy. I don’t think he’s anything special. We’re getting drinks and heading to a hotel room.

He better keep you entertained if you’ll be with him all night

10 bucks says he’s going to finish early and head out, and I get free money.

10 bucks says he needs all that time to finish

Oh god.

Hour one is him hyping himself up in the bathroom. Hour two is weird foreplay

How weird are we talking?

I’m thinking animal pelts and chanting. A good dose of some type of cultural appropriation.

Fuck. Now I’m scared. Thanks, Alex.

Good luck! Let me know when you get home.

Eve turned on a true crime show. Alex put his phone down and watched with her. It would be something he could talk to Damián about later. A cult, an abduction, and some more heinous crimes that made Alex feel ill. He didn’t know what Damián and Eve found appealing about these shows. All it did was make Alex fear what sort of freaks were out there looking to take advantage of someone.

It was all about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just being in the wrong bar seemed to be all it took sometimes.

#nobody ends up dead #writeblr #writblr #original writing #neud #writing community #queer fiction #writing #original work #lgbt

[sleepymarmot]

Bright Young Things (2003) / Vile Bodies (1930)

Yes, yes, of course I watched this for young gay Michael Sheen.

For real, the main entertainment factor of this film is embodying the Leo pointing meme every time a familiar face shows up on screen. At some point a certain someone appeared in an incidental role for a few seconds in a close-up next to Tennant and I completely fucking lost it. The UK can’t possibly have so few actors!

I’ve never even heard of the book this was based on, or was aware this was an adaptation before being informed in the opening titles, but it’s very noticeable. The script frantically jumps from plot point to plot point just like in any other feature film that tries to cram a novel in less than two hours of runtime. A bigger problem is that it’s not very clear to the viewer whether they should even try to make out a plot out of this string of scenes, or it’s a narrative that operates on vibes only. (I had to quickly leaf through previous scenes because I’d put a name to a wrong face, all while wondering if correcting myself was even worth it.) The film has a boisterous beginning, then slows down for a long time, then is given a shot of energy when James McAvoy’s character does a certain big thing halfway through (I cheered. Then I went “Oh man :/”). The plot does get a bit more coherent after that.

The ending caught me by surprise: I didn’t realize it was that late in the thirties. The radio announcement was a real “Guess he’ll die” moment, and it was immediately followed by a scene where the main character and his love interest seemed to poetically die on the same day… And then both of these were swiftly undone. The final scene was so conspicuously set during an air raid in a room filled with burning candles that I kept expecting the final frame to be a bomb hitting the building, or someone knocking over one of the candles — either way, with the pair being set ablaze just like the rediscovered manuscript. But no, it was just… a happy/bittersweet melodramatic ending? Instead of a neat destructive one? But I had already given up on the emotionally involved melodramatic mode of viewing because I’d written off the characters as unlikeable empty shells whom you study like a bug instead of rooting for! The girl didn’t even seem to like the boy and the boy sold her, what kind of emotion was their reunion supposed to evoke? And what happened to Agatha and Miles during/after the war? According to the summary on Wikipedia, the original novel’s ending is entirely different in content and tone, and much more in tune with the detached cynicism of the story up to the war, which makes me wonder even more about the adaptation’s intent.

It was nice to look at all these pretty people in fashionable clothes, and get a glimpse of a foreign historical setting. “Watching a random mildly obscure production because you’ve heard about it online and/or some star was in it” is a familiar, semi-forgotten experience, and that felt pleasantly nostalgic.

---

Of course, I couldn’t resist immediately reading the original book to compare, encouraged by a review saying that it’s actually not that long. I found a public domain version somewhere and read the bare original text without commentary, even though I’m sure it’s a terrible way to consume century-old satire.

I was surprised to discover that the book is from 1930 — and still ends with a great war (fictional, I assume). No wonder the adaptation moved the setting a decade forward!

My impression that the characters and their stories were supposed evoke curiosity and contempt rather than compassion was confirmed. I now find the shoehorned sappy ending even stranger. The film version turned out to be very faithful otherwise: the unimportant events and characters are condensed well, and the weird pacing and disjointedness that I perceived as a trait of sloppy adaptation were actually true to the source material.

The last chapters of the book feel different not because of the sudden bleakness, but because the scope is rapidly narrowed to the few main characters, and most of the secondary subplots are dropped. The book, unlike the adaptation, puts a definite end to Agatha’s story (and her life), and there’s an entire subplot about a fictional film that didn’t make it to the real film, but what about the Prime Minister and his unsuccessful courtship of a Japanese noblewoman, or Miles’ brother and his rejected proposal? I thought these were going somewhere.

What a shame that the misunderstanding about “shooting” didn’t make it to the adaptation — it’s one of the few passages in the novel I found genuinely funny. Speaking of dialogue, I thought the “parties” monologue in the film was very unnatural and theatrical, and sure, in the novel it’s not said aloud but belongs to the narrator.

The minor character who hosted the fateful party was in the novel actually, uhh, a major character from the writer’s previous novel who made money via human trafficking?? That would have been very confusing for the movie’s audience, so I think it was pretty clever to throw all that out and make her Miles’ mother instead. Too bad a more serious take on Miles warranted a new surname: “Miles Malpractice” is a great name.

Miles’ role was expanded a lot for the film, which I think we all agree was a good choice. Most of his lines in the movie, including the tearful goodbye, aren’t in the book at all! So that’s another thing that was made more dramatic for the film. You win some (Miles), you lose some (the ending). The moral of the story is… Stephen Fry is better at writing a gay character than a straight romance? No wonder; the question is why he even bothered with the latter.

#i have a disease called ''if i watch an adaptation i have to read the book'' #bright young things #literature #liveblogs and reviews #blah blah blah #btw tumblr doesn't have a tag for the novel. straight up redirects to a search #the only explanation i see is that this combination of words is considered obscene and censored #which is very funny considering the inciting incident of the story

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Tickle Fics (2) Masterlist

part one

Dan and Phil Tickle Fic Compilation (ao3) - arandomraven

Summary: As i've said before. I Don't feel comfortable writing about real people anymore, but im backing up old fics from tumblr since that site is going up in flames right now. these fics do not represent my writing or my thoughts on shipping real people as of now.

Glad to Be Home (ao3) - ticklishraspberries

Summary: Dan and Phil make up for the time they lost for intimacy on the tour.

I Didn't Know Tickles Could Be So Dangerous (ao3) - PeanutButterJellyTotsandHobnobs

Summary: Dan's in hospital and his best friend Phil is there through everything. But after a tickle fight gets too rough, things go drastically wrong.

Jumping On the Bandwagon Isn’t So Bad (ao3) - ticklishraspberries

Summary: Dan decides to jump on the ‘boys in crop tops’ trend.

Knick-Knacks (ao3) - blissedoutphil

Summary: Dan wants to get rid of most of their knick-knacks, their forever home has to be minimalistic. Phil isn't helping Dan pack, he's too busy buying more knick-knacks.

Love me (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Dan is cute and he knows it, and he really wants his boyfriends attention. So he decides to annoy Phil until he gets what he wants.

....

Dan loudly clears his throat, “Um excuse me? Yeah your cute boyfriend is right here and asking for attention.” He over-dramatically gestures to himself.

Maybe Only for an Hour (ao3) - AmeliaHollow

Summary:

Dan and Phil are teenagers in love. Conveniently, they also happen to be neighbors. One night, Dan can't sleep so he texts Phil to keep him company. When push comes to shove Dan finds himself sneaking through the window of the bedroom of the boy he loves so he can spend 'Just one hour' with him without risking too much. If either of their parent's found out they were together... or gay at all for that matter- that would be it. But we all know love makes you do crazy things.

Power Outage (ao3) - yeahthisaccountisinactiveso

Summary: There's a power outage and Dan and Phil have some fun.

Puns, tickle fights, and a squishy rat named Dan (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Dan and Phil get into a little argument on Valentine's Day, but Phil was sure he could fix things with a few punny gifts.

Slap and Tickle (ao3) - ticklishraspberries

Summary: Dan is incredibly squirmy when tickled, which inevitably leads to Phil’s injury

stuck together (ao3) - graydar

Summary: Even if Phil dyes his hair blonde or Dan gets a whole sleeve of tattoos, even if they never change their last names or wear rings on their left hands. Even if - everything changes. This will always be it for Dan.

waking up in your arms with my mind on you and me (ao3) - natigail

Summary: On October 19th 2021, Phil wakes up first. Twelve years ago he woke up way too early, nervous for their first meeting and now they are waking up in their shared bed in their forever home. Phil allows himself to be a little sappy but it's okay because Dan easily joins him.

Welcome home! (never leave that long again) (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan comes home from tour and stumbles right into Phil’s arms. He is more touch starved than he’d realised.

What Dan Wants, Dan Gets (ao3) - blissedoutphil

Summary: "i hate men but i want them to touch me"

- actual Dan on twitter

so this fic is based on that lmao

Yes, Extremely - phil-and-dan-lester

Summary: Fluff

You're Perfect To Me (ao3) - ticklishraspberries

Summary: Dan is feeling insecure about his body, and Phil can’t have that.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #tickle #tickle masterlist

[gorey]

it's really nice on a more serious note that we have these intrasystem relationships bc we (its two marriages - me and vince. virgil and victor. but all four of us are a thing together. and some other pairings of the less frequently fronting alters also exist) were literally made for each other the dynamics of these partnerships were cobbled together organically from what were once multiple sets of paired fictives and were in our development modeled on the deepest purest and most well-oiled visions of love that our developing self could find and we've only ever gotten better at it. all our dynamics with each other are unique and it allows us as a whole to still blossom in the aftermath of emotional neglect, coercion and later a much healthier but often conflict-ridden relationship outside our head. we've had the bar set high for us bc our not-shitty ex was also a system who had an intrasystem relationship with a protector alter

(sidebar our host doesn't roll that way they prefer to clock out and leave the sappy shit to us queens, they tried getting gay with virgil but it doesn't work bc like all four of us are significantly older in headspace than in body - I'm the youngest of the four at 29, virgil oldest at 33, host/body are 23 and the rest of the alters skew a bit younger except gulley who is literally. 65. - so the dynamics between us and orchid are a lot more that they have a bunch of fairy godparents who are all gay for each other)

but our ex was already familiar with how this shit works so we all had different dynamics with them and in turn other dynamics still with their headmates. it was on a level of complexity and intimacy that idk that we could ever reach with a singlet and in the aftermath of the heartbreak of that relationship falling apart we are. not on the dating scene at the moment for other reasons as well but like. orchid wants to love someone too. and that may be out of reach but you definitely can't say we live a loveless existence bc there are these healthy, communicative dynamics in place that are a safe zone. orchid often recedes and allows the four of us to just fuck around, it's very typically two or more of us fronting sometimes all four at once it's a pretty bang up job of integration bc prior to like 2021 communication among us was very stunted, blocked off, or vague and our identities hadn't fully congealed into our current setup which has been pretty consistent since like 2021 when we unrepressed the whole DID thing with help from aforementioned ex. but like. intrasystem shit is one thing but the ability to switch out intentionally or unintentionally and have someone there who just. knows. who we all are what our personalities and preferences and love languages are the space to cultivate a host of different dynamics in an intimate space with all of them being beheld as equally real, unique, legitimate, valid... we could try. we could try to teach someone without this internal experience how we work and maybe they'll be receptive and won't think we're doing some kind of LARP or whatever they'll be able to treat us all as people...we want to give that gift of love in multiplicity again. it is the deepest most vulnerable most healing thing we have experienced. what a thing to lose. our fault. but we will do better for the next person the only question is if the next person will fucking be able to keep up with us. will we have to offer a watered down, flattened version of ourself to them? not talk about when we switch, when there's multiple of us at once, assume that mask that we wear around everyone else where they call us all by one name and don't differentiate among us? as I have learned integration is not fusion we have integrated well but we are all very separate beasts and none of us want to hide behind the face of orchid who can barely handle fronting for more than a few hours at a time... our multiplicity is the root of our resilience. who will claim us

as we are?

if that never happens again so be it. we had the privilege of it once and at the very least we can be a self-sustaining circuit for as long as we need.

#a #s #sacha speakz #any other did/otherwise plural folks please fucking shoot us an ask or reply or something typing this out has made us realize were losing it

[valkyrinn]

Real gay hours over here. Sappy sweet sapphic convos into the night. I’m feeling so fucking gay that I might start crying at any moment. She’s so sweet and caring and wonderful and beautiful and brings so much joy to my life and I’ve already had to stop myself from using the L word a few times but I can’t wait to fly out to Seattle to spend a week with her

[rabbitindisguise]

I'm so glad that tumblr has been an impromptu place for people with microidentities to explore and find new terms and make stuff if there isn't anything they like and it's so comforting to see lesser known identities like GNC trans men and women get visible representation when I didn't know about anything but lesbians and gay men before I joined this website

Visibility of marginalized groups is something, I think, that Tumblr has played a huge role in and I don't know what comes next but I hope people keep getting access to this kind of information long into the future because like

Sometimes I forget that history is happening right as we speak but it's never more obvious than right at this moment in between social media transitions and the presidential election . . . I remember this website when Obama was elected the first time. Now gay marriage is legal in the United States, and so many things have happened- both good and bad- that it's hard to really predict where things are gonna go from here. But I hope since I had zero clue that it would be legal to marry someone of the same gender in the entirety of the United States that means good things can happen too because why the fuck not? We deserve them, universe

#personal #identity #activism #queer history #real gay sappy hours

[toasttedbaguels]

*sings a song that i showed to someone i care about when we’d just started talking and enters a loving daydream*

#im just.. music is a love language..... #and singing reminds me of how much i love.. #literally dont judge me for this its late and im sappy #idk what my problem is but literally so many of my sappy little gay daydreams are about singing with or for.. u kno 👉👈 #n even when im thinking about characters instead... the music... #bagel babbles #god is this why i made so many bards by accident #real shit this is probably why my voice notes app is full of just like. me singing at odd hours. hm.

[thotsupport]

i want to lov and b loved :(....

#its real sappy gay hours bc my brain said so #lgbt #gwlg #personal #love

[tortamon]

IIHAVE CRIED ABOUT MY FRIENDS 2 NIGHTS IN A ROW NOW

#tortatxt #WERE IN REAL SAPPY BITCH HOURS AND IM; GAY

[dreamutual-moved]

#sitting here tonight full of love folks! 😌💞💞💞💞 #i told them this like 2 days after we started dating but that hehehe ryan vine is me whenver i get notif from noah sdkjfhkjdhfkjs #hello 911 why is my gf so funny n beautiful #theyre out w friends n keep sending me snaps i cant stop giggling #real homophobic how we're halfway across th world! i wanna hang out w my gf wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #anyways i say this constantly too but like damn! im so lucky!!!!!!!!!! #mmhgfhfgj not 2 b gay but they really are my whole sun whenever i think of them my heart like Swells n just.....Warm #i just!!!!!!!!!! really adore them w my whole heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #thinking back is so funny bc there are so many times that i just sorta accepted they would never like me back n i was fully content just #being their friend..........if u had told me like months ago this is reality i would Not have believed u one bit #damn im rly out here tearing up huh................ #oof they make me so happy!!!!!!!!! #cant wait 2 actually see them n hold their hand some day #cant stop thinking abt this one thing they told me..............i nearly Died. like mdjfghdkjfhgd i think abt it constantly n tear up!!!!!! #noah if ur wondering its what u said when u were on ur way to ikea idk if u remember but like i Felt that i rly almost cried at work dskdjh #me whnever i see any post or notif from noah: thats my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my angel! my fuckgin cinnamon apple!!!!!!!!!!!!! #this sure is one big ol sappy post huh..............big love hours in this house! #el.txt

[aliasimagines]

It Was You All Along // Dave Lizewski

requested by a lovely anon 💕

Can u write dave x fem!reader where reader Always had a crush on him but he kinda ignored reader bc of Katie but then someone popular asks reader out and he gets jealous and y/n dresses up super hot and he realizes he fucked up

word count: 1809

a/n: i hope this is close enough! ❤️ (i couldn't think of a different title but this one reminds me of Agatha All Along xd)

"Hey, Dave! My folks are gone for the weekend and I thought we could have an X-men watch party. Wanna come?" 

"Sorry I can't, I'm hanging out with Katie." 

"Again?" you ask a bit louder than intended,causing a few people to look at you in the hallway. You continue with a lower voice "Aren't you like, tired of all the lying? Like, what if she finds out that you're not actually gay, hm? Cause you know she will, eventually." 

"Why do you care so much?!" Dave says, clearly frustrated. 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"Oh why would I? Maybe because we have been best friends since diapers, you stupid asshole!" you say not caring if some students hear you or not, anymore. "But you know what, you are right. I shouldn't care. Go play pretend with Katie but don't come to me, crying when you end up getting your heart broken." 

"Don't worry, I won't." he snaps back. And you turn around and leave but not before flipping him off. You felt the angry tears rolling down your cheeks as you zigzagged between the chattering teenagers. 

You couldn’t  believe how Dave could be so blind! He only had eyes for Miss Perfect. Whom by the way, is a real bitch and would go back to ignoring Dave or calling him a freak if it wasn’t for his little gay act. 

Somehow you made your way over to the restroom and locked yourself into one of the booths.

Dave couldn’t even see you as a potential “love-interest”. Eventhough you were the one who always were there for him, you were always there when he called, running to him like a lost puppy. And he couldn’t even care less. And you hate him for it. But you hate yourself more for still liking him. 

It’s not like you can do something about it, if you could, you would have. But that’s not how it works, so you are just crying your guts out on the toilet trying not to think about Dave.

In all honesty, you have no idea how you made it through the day. You almost cried during biology but you caught yourself after a few lonely tears. You could feel Dave’s gaze on you but there was no way you would look at him. As soon as the last bell rang you were out of school, hurring past Tod and Marty, not being in the mood for them either.

The next day wasn’t any different, you didn’t hang with Dave, Tod and Marty like you normally do. You didn’t sit with them at lunch, instead walked over to the only empty table you saw and placed your tray there. You mounched on your food, completely unaware of your surroundings until you hear the chair next to you being pulled out. You look up to see Matthew Greendale, resident hottie of the school sit next to you. 

"Hey, sorry, it's not a problem if I sit here, right?" he asks. You eyed him suspiciously. 

"No, it's fine." 

It's fine?! You mentally scold yourself. You never even spoke to this guy, outside of literature in first year. Why would he sit next to you? 

"I didn't want to sit with all the other "popular jocks" he answered you unspoken question while taking a bite of his canteen-hamburger. “They’re fun and everything but it’s nice to get away from them sometimes.”

You think of your friends who are sitting a few tables away and you can’t help but agree with Matthew.

“Yeah, I feel you.” you say without thinking.

“Hey..We used to sit next to each other in freshman year, didn’t we? It’s y/n ,right?” 

You nod with a smile, honestly being surprised that he remembers you.

“Yeah!”

“I haven’t really seen you around a lot. But when I do you are always hanging with those comic book nerds.”

“Hey! Comics are great.”

He puts his hands up in a defense.

“Oh no! I didn’t mean it as an insult. Some comics are good, my little brother made read one last month. It was actually great.”

“What comic was it?”

“Oh, uhm..It was about some kind of blind dude in a devil costume.”

“Daredevil?” you ask with a giggle.

“Yes, that one!” he laughs too.

The two of you continue talking until the end of lunch break. He is surprisingly fun to talk to and he even offers to walk you to your next class after lunch. You had such a good time you didn’t even think about Dave, heck, you didn’t even notice him literally glaring daggers into Matthew.

“What’s up with you, dude?” Tod asks snapping Dave out of it. 

“Yeah, Dave. What the shit is going on with you and Y/N?” Marty asks too.

Dave forrows is eyebrows. Yes, what the shit is going on with the two of you? Every since yesterday's 'fight' with you he can't stop thinking. About how he spends most, if not all of his time either with being Kick-Ass or, rather with Katie. It used to be different. He spent every second with you and he just threw you away so he could maybe get laid. And sure, Katie may be hot as fuck but she is.. Well, she is not you. 

"We had a fight, yesterday. I.. And she was right." he explains with a grimace. "But why the fuck is that Greendale asshole is with her?" 

"You jealous or something, dude?" 

"Wha- Of course I am not jealous! Why would I be? You guys are nuts." 

Jealous… The word rolled around in his mouth like a new flavored milkshake he never tasted before. 

Could he be… Jealous? He never thought of you that way, you were always his best friend. Just that. But.. The more he thinks about it the more he can't stop that twist like feeling in his stomach. 

That night he can't focus on crime fighting. All his thoughts are tied to you. Whether he likes it or not, memories of you keep popping up in his mind. How didn't he notice your beautiful smile before? And your laugh? It's like a beautiful melody. And… Gosh! When did he become such a sappy teenager? Oh and another thing.. He kept trying to think of something else, anything else like Katie for example but he doesn't care anymore! 

Dave goes home early with a frustrated growl. The remaining hours of the night he spends with tossing and turning and daydreaming instead of sleeping. 

(the next afternoon, Atomic Comics) 

Dave bangs his head against the wood table once again. A tired groan leaves his lips when he hears Tod almost choking on his iced coffee. 

"What the tunk, Tod?" Marty and Dave ask almost at the same time. The dirty blonde haired boy keeps pointing outside the huge window that they are sitting next to at Atomic Comics. 

"Is that fucking y/n?!" 

Now all three of them look outside the shop and see you, all dressed up nad seemingly waiting for someone. 

"Holy fuck!" Dave whispers. He stares at you, with his mouth a gap before jumping up from the booth they were sitting at and rushing outside the store. 

"Y/n! Y/-" he yells almost tripping on thin air. 

"Dave?" you question, quickly turning towards him. Damn, you missed him. No! Yeah, you did… "What do you want?" 

"What do I- What, can't I talk to you?" 

"If you wanted to talk you would have in these past days!" you say. Yes, you might have missed him, but it's not like you're gonna show it. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am waiting for my date to show up." 

"Your.. Your what, now?!" 

"My date" 

"You can't go on a date!" 

"And why is that, Lizewski?" 

"Lizewski? Really, you're calling me by my surname? Are we in such a bad place right now?" 

"I don't know, you tell me. Are you going to tell me what i can and can't do, hm?" 

"I didn't mean it like that. I just…" 

"What, it's fine when you say it but when I do it with you about Katie I'm the bad friend?" 

"No,it's just-" 

"Sorry. Matt's here." you point to the street across the road where you saw the boy walk towards you. "I gotta go." 

You start walking away but Dave grabs your wrist. 

"Please, don't." he mumbles. 

"Why not?" you snap at him but your expressions soften upon your eyes land on his saddened face. 

"I- because I don't want you with him. O-or anyone." 

You raise an eyebrow. 

"What?" 

He took a deep breath before looking around. Matt was waiting patiently by the traffic light so he could cross the road. Dave quickly began explaining. 

"You were right. About Katie. I was such a dickhead, I am so sorry, y/n. I am sorry for ignoring you over her and and.." from the corner of his eye he sees the traffic light turn green. "Shit! I don't want you to go out with Greendale cause I.. Because I like you. Like really fucking like you. And oh my god you look so fucking hot in this outfit, not that you're not always hot but holy shit. I know we are just friends and you don't think of me that way but I ju-"

"Oh my god! Do you ever shut up?" you yell before pressing your lips to his. Dave stumbled back a little, but quickly recovered and kissed back. Your hands cupped his face and his hands grabbed your waist in response. You both tilled your heads, deepening the kiss earning loud knocking from Marty and Tod as they watched the whole scene through the window. Not that you noticed any of it. You didn't hear the passing by car honk at you nor the yells or whistles. You also did not notice Matthew walking away with a sad smile after seeing the two of you. Your touches intertwine and you're pretty sure you heard Dave moan slightly which causes you to giggle into the kiss. You both pull away gasping for air. You look down at your shoes, hoping to hide your flushed cheeks. Dave scratches his back and looks around nervously only to see his two idiotic friends making kissy faces. He lifts his middle finger for them before clearing his throat. 

"So.. Khm.. I guess you like me too?" 

You let out a soft chuckle.

"Yeah, I do." you say looking at him with a smile.

"That's.. Fuck. That's great." he replied genuinely happy. "Wanna get out of here?" 

You nod and you take off. You take Dave's hand and he intertwines your fingers with a smile. Maybe he is truly a superhero. He helps people and he gets the girl of his dreams. The happy ending. 

Dave Lizewski taglist : @sethcohenluvr @your-hispanichufflepuff

#dave lizewski x reader #Dave lizewski one shot #dave lizewski imagine #kick ass imagine #kick ass x reader #kick ass one shot #gif not mine #aaron taylor johnson #alias imagines

[inkblotsandpapertrails]

Out of Sight, Out of Mind [K.H.]

Warnings: None

Pairing: Kaoru Hitachiin x Male Reader

Description: Kaoru gets a love note, and he and Hikaru are eager to play their old game again. You didn’t seem to get the memo.

A/N: this fandom doesn’t give kaoru enough love imo, plus there are hardly any male reader fics, i’m VERY tired of the ‘softboy innocent good-twin kaoru who does nothing wrong ever’ persona the fandom cooked up and i also lowkey wanted to branch out with the type of reader personalities i write so. kaoru oneshot here we goooo-

It was a boy.

That was a little unexpected, Kaoru supposed. He hadn’t even thought there were any out gay guys at Ouran Academy – what with most students coming from old money and traditional parents, the only same-gender relationships anyone ever really saw were the pretend relationships at the Host Club, and those were just carefully scripted fantasies designed to entertain women. Still, there you stood, tugging sheepishly on your blue blazer as you glanced around the courtyard, searching in such a pitiful way Kaoru almost found it cute.

He recognized you, a little. You were in a few of his classes – [Y/N] something. You were decently well-liked, he supposed; you got along with most people, and most people got along with you, but he’d noticed you didn’t really have a group of people you usually hung out with. You just sort of floated from person to person until they got tired of you. It was a trait he and Hikaru had always rolled their eyes and scoffed at – how little self-respect must you have to let yourself be used like that? And yet you’d still put yourself out there and sent him a sappy love note. It was a little intriguing, he supposed, but not enough to make him genuinely interested.

He shot a glance to the bushes that hid Hikaru from view. He didn’t seem too concerned; merely shrugged and nodded in your direction, as if to say, ‘what are you waiting for?’. Kaoru rolled his eyes and sauntered with ease to where you were fidgeting.

“You wrote this?” He asked, holding the note between his index and middle finger. You jumped at the noise and whipped around, your shoulders raised up to your ears. You seemed to relax a little once you realized it was only him, but you still looked stiff and tense. Kaoru tried not to make his grin too obvious. God, this was going to be a fun one.

“Uh – k-kinda.” You said with a sheepish smile. “I, um – I’m probably not what you were expecting, huh?”

Kaoru fought the urge to roll his eyes. The self-pity act. He and Hikaru had seen it countless times from countless girls, a desperate attempt to gain sympathy and lure them into accepting their silly confessions.

“No, but then again, I doubt I’m what you were expecting, either.”

You frowned and cocked your head.

“Oh?”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m Hikaru, not Kaoru. You must’ve gotten our desks mixed up.”

You blanched, a look of outright horror crossing your face for a split second before morphing into confusion and – guilt? Hm, that was new. Normally it was just disappointment.

“What?” You mumbled, more to yourself than Kaoru. “But I thought – I was certain I...” You sighed and raked a hand through your hair. “Dammit... I’m so sorry, Hikaru-kun. I didn’t mean to waste your time.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Kaoru shrugged. He tried not to laugh at how confused you looked, your head tilted and your eyebrows knitted. You let your emotions show so obviously – tearing you apart would be awfully fun. “I was wondering... Would you perhaps be happy going out with me, instead?” You look downright stricken when he says the words, a bright blush rising on your cheeks. If Kaoru strained his ears hard enough, he could hear Hikaru snickering in the bushes. “I’ve always thought you were handsome, [Y/N]-kun, and I know for a fact Kaoru likes someone else. Are you interested at all?”

Your mouth gaped open and shut for a moment before waving your arms frantically, as if you could wipe Kaoru’s words away.

“I – what?!” You asked, voice cracking in your throat. “You’d – you’d do that?”

Kaoru shrugged.

“Of course. Like I said, I do like you.”

“But I-!” You stopped and started your sentence a few times, desperately stumbling over your words. “You’d really be okay with that? Knowing I’m only with you because you remind me of your brother?”

“Remind?” Kaoru said with an amused smirk. “We’re the same person, [Y/N]-kun.”

You looked as if the air had been knocked out of your chest. Your expression was downright horrified, devastated, even. Kaoru almost felt uncomfortable at the sheer pain and sympathy in your eyes.

“I – Hikaru, are you okay?” You said abruptly, completely forgetting the honorific. Kaoru frowned at the question – no one had ever asked it before. You were supposed to be crying and calling them mean and running away so you wouldn’t have to listen to them anymore. What were you doing?!

“I – of course I-“ Kaoru stuttered. It felt like his entire vocabulary had been shoved out of his brain, replaced only by that one question, dripping with sadness and concern – Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?

“You’re not the same.” You said fervently, grabbing Kaoru by his shoulders. “Hikaru, I- I know I don’t know you that well, and we rarely talk, but – you have to know you and your brother are different people.”

No, no, they weren’t, they were exactly the same, that was the game, that was how it worked, why weren’t you playing the game?!

Tires crunched over the gravel of the driveway. You jerked your head towards the school gates and cringed.

“That’s my car. Shit. Okay.” You yanked a pen out of your pocket and flipped Kaoru’s hand over, scribbling a number on the back of his palm. “That’s my cell number, um. If you ever want to talk about this, or – I dunno, if you ever want to feel like you, instead of just Hikaru and Kaoru, call me, okay? We’ll play video games or whatever. If you want. You don’t have to.”

You squeezed his hand before letting it go, offering him a small smile.

“Take care.”

You bolted down the courtyard, waving frantically to your driver. You had just reached the doors when you jerked upright and sprinted back to where Kaoru was standing stock-still, yelling a quick apology to your driver, who seemed to be growing increasingly frustrated with your antics.

“One more thing!” You said quickly, your voice a little raspy from running back and forth. “Um – could you not tell Kaoru about this? I kinda promised myself I’d only ask him out once I could tell the two of you apart, and, um – well, you know.” You laughed awkwardly and scratched at your neck. “Anyways, um – bye!” 

Kaoru stood in stunned silence as you ran back to your driver, apologizing profusely as you jumped into the backseat. You waved at him as you left. Without even thinking, he waved back. A slow half-wave that barely even counted, in his opinion, but still.

He was snapped out of his trance by a soft punch to his shoulder.

"What the hell happened there?" Hikaru frowned. "You were supposed to play the game!"

Kaoru looked at his brother, unable to force the words out of his throat. He searched everywhere for something that would've given them away - a mark on his face, a wrinkle in his uniform, hell, even just a crumb leftover from lunch, but… Nothing. As always, they looked exactly the same.

And yet, [Y/N] had looked so confused when Kaoru said he was Hikaru...

"I kinda promised myself I'd only ask him out once I could tell the two of you apart…"

"You're not the same!"

"You have to know that you and your brother are different people."

You didn’t mean it. You couldn’t have. No one ever won the ‘Which One Is Hikaru?’ game. You’d believed him when he said he was Hikaru, so you couldn’t tell them apart. But then... Why did you say all those things?

"Kaoru?" Hikaru asked, his frown morphing into a look of concern. "Are you alright? Did he say something to you?! I'll kill him-!"

"It's fine, Hikaru." Kaoru said quietly. "Don't worry about it."

"But - what did-?"

"They just asked me if I wanted to hang out and play video games, that's all." Kaoru huffed, forcing himself to roll his eyes. "He made it out like he wanted to be friends, but I could tell he was trying to hit on me. Still, he never really said he'd be happy with either one of us, so I wasn't sure what to do."

Hikaru furrowed his brow, and Kaoru tried to keep his face neutral. He'd never lied to his brother before, save for when he set him up with Haruhi, but he'd made it fairly obvious that that was the aim of the game. The only reason Hikaru hadn't called him on it was because he wanted to go so badly. This was a real lie, a trick that only Kaoru was in on. He didn't like pulling tricks without Hikaru. He especially didn't like pulling them on Hikaru.

"Alright…" Hikaru said slowly. "If you say so. Are you… Sure? That you're okay?"

Kaoru laughed and wrapped his arms around his brother.

"You're always doing the protective brother thing, Hikaru!"

"Well, I can't help it! You're my baby brother!"

"We're the same age!"

"Two minutes older, excuse you."

"Shut up."

They laugh and joke all the way home, falling into their natural twin swing. Hikaru didn't ask about you, and Kaoru didn't tell. He washed your number off his hand the moment they got home. Some of the ink still clung to his skin, refusing to be swept away. Kaoru glared and scrubbed the cloth against his hand until his skin turned pink and painful. Nevertheless, one stubborn speck remaind. Kaoru hid it under his sleeve. Out of sight, out of mind.

He couldn't sleep. He was used to Hikaru's snoring, but tonight, he just couldn't tone it out. He tried playing on his phone, tapping random apps and sending random memes and cursed images to people in his contacts (Kyoya was the only one who responded. The death threat was colourful and certainly made him laugh, but it didn’t get his mind off of- it didn't make him tired.). After a few hours, Kaoru began to yawn, and he felt his eyelids slipping shut. 

02:36, his phone's clock read.

Kaoru blinked.

02:52.

He opened his contacts. Blinked again.

03:09.

He closed his eyes.

"Kaoru!"

He jerked awake.

07:28.

"Wake up, we're gonna be late!" Hikaru called from where he was fixing his tie. 

"Coming!"

Kaoru dressed as quickly as he could and rushed out of the room with Hikaru close behind. They were halfway down the stairs when Kaoru jerked to a halt, sending Hikaru crashing into his back. 

"I forgot my phone!" Kaoru explained hurriedly as he began sprinting back up the stairs. "Wait for me!"

He ignored Hikaru's groan and ran back to their room. His bedside table was empty, which was strange - he always left his phone there. He vaguely remembered using it last night, when he couldn't sleep, and began stripping the blankets off the bed and flipping his pillows in search for his lost phone. After Hikaru's second yell, he found it, lodged between his bedside table and his bedpost, and was about to rush out of the room when-

New Contact Successfully Added.

Kaoru didn't remember adding anyone.

The spot of ink burned beneath his skin.

He tapped the notification.

[Y/N] [L/N]

The number was the same.

“Kaoru!” Hikaru snapped as he barged back into the room. “What is up with you today?!”

“Huh? Nothing.” Kaoru said quickly, shoving his phone into his pocket before Hikaru could see the screen. “Let’s go.”

He ignored Hikaru’s scoff of ‘about time’ and all but ran to the car. They rode to school in silence - Hikaru was in a sour mood from being late, and Kaoru couldn’t bring himself to speak. He rubbed the ink spot on his skin. It had all but entirely faded now, a pale grey against his skin.

Out of sight, out of mind, he thought bitterly. 

What idiot came up with that saying?

#ohshc #ohshc x reader #ohshc x male reader #kaoru hitachiin x reader #kaoru hitachiin #ouran high school host club