Dick's Evaluation of Innocence Checklist:
Jason wouldn't kill them
Jason would have covered his tracks/gone to ground more effectively
Jason would have recorded the whole thing on video himself, set it to music, and emailed it to the entire Batfamily with no less than three middle finger emojis (if not an actual picture of him flipping them all off) and since that didn't happen he must not have done it
(Source: Nightwing 2016)
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"Simon, come in."
Ghost isn't quite sure why Price had called him to his office. He's been downright docile this past while. Between his new bond with Hugo, his deepening relationship with Soap, and a mild injury to his shoulder, he's been spending most of his time parked on base whittling away the hours before the next mission.
He takes a seat in one of the Captain's mismatched chairs. Price takes a long drag of his cigar and Ghost tilts his chin, responding in kind.
"There's no easy way to say this son..." He pauses as if he's weighing his words. "I'm glad that you and Soap are getting close. And I support it I do this isn't about that."
He'd be a hypocrite if it was, Ghost thinks, and Nikolai would be inconsolable.
"Guess It's best to just to come out and say it..." Simon tilts his head in question.
"You can't buy sex toys on the company card."
If he'd been drinking anything it would be splattered up the inside of his mask.
"Fucking what??"
"I can see the receipts son and so can the MPO." His Captain's lips are pulled back in an uncomfortable grimace.
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about cap." He leans back in his chair, arms crossed defiantly. All that shit was on his personal card.
"I'm not judging you or your decisions Simon I just can't justify it as a business expense."
"Can I at least see the receipt? Bit unfair not to show a man what he's accused of innit?"
Solemnly, Price shuffles through a stack of papers on his desk; holding out the printed off the email notification from the military post office when he finds it.
Simon takes the page with no small incredulity, scanning it over with a careful eye.
"Fuck my Pink Princess is here? That was a bitch to get through customs."
If possible, Price's face screws up more.
"I don't want details Simon, just your word that it won't happen again."
"Price it's a Philodendron."
"I'm shocked and appalled that you think I'd know what that is."
Ignoring the complaints of his scandalized Captain, Simon reaches for the small box on the desk, producing a knife to carefully slit the tape. All the while ignoring the increasingly vocal complaints coming from the other side of the desk.
"I don't want to see it son, it's none of my business what you get up to behind closed doors just- the fuck is that?"
"A Pink Princess Philodendron." Simon mutters as he examines the carefully packaged plant.
"...Simon thats a plant."
He grunts.
"Simon that was 150 quid."
He grunts again.
"Simon you used the company card for a £150 pink plant."
"Plus shipping."
"For fucking why??"
"It matches Hugo's coloring."
...
"Get out of my office."
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honestly your dpxdc clone au gives me life, its adorable as all hell and im a sucker for found family but with that being said, its so freaking hysterical to me that Danny is going full feral liminal menace at Wes any time hes near and Wes himself is still 100% into it the freak (affectionate) and thats not even pointing out the paralles it could possible create since danny and dames gives massive parallels to dick and damian and dick does have a thing for redheads.
yeesSSSSS! I was planning on hoarding this to myself but i can't not reply. and i'll be able to find this again with the clone^2 tag so win WIN. i'm so glad you are as delighted by this as me. It's so hilarious to me that Danny just becomes a complete freak whenever he spots Wes, and I'm the one who wrote it into existence. Like- like i don't know how to explain my vision in words but like, its like Danny sees Wes and immediately goes 'what can I do to make his day worse'. And then he goes and does it.
(honorary read more because i talk a lot)
He's relatively normal around his friends too, which makes him going full-fledged unhinged around Wes even funnier to me. Like, Danny will spout weird shit sometimes to Sam and Tucker, but usually its prefaced with him talking about patrol or there would be context before he said anything. With Wes? Though?? he will just. say anything, completely unprompted. Slings an arm around his shoulder like they've been buddies since primary school and then spits out a weird new fun fact he learned about the bodily anatomy while researching his latest cold case. All vaguely-threatening but utterly insane things to say as way to start a conversation.
And sometimes its not even that, he'll walk up to Wes and ask him if he saw the latest daytime fight between Phantom and Skulker. And then he'll say "yeah i missed it myself but I saw clips of it being posted online" and then watch Wes mentally explode him with his mind. or he'll disparage Phantom for having such a young partner with him, "Can you believe he'd let a kid fight ghosts with him? I'd never let my brother ghosthunt with me if I was Phantom."
All of this with such a deceptive look on his face but the most delighted, shit-eating gleam in his eyes. Wes is chewing glass and he wants to yell that he does let his brother fight ghosts with him. Also you told him yourself that nothing would've stopped your demonic (Wes' words) little brother from joining you.
Damian gets in on the fuckery occasionally, but since he's not around often with Wes about, it doesn't happen nearly as often as it does between Wes and Danny. Sam and Tucker know he's screwing with him too, and both of them are a little wary about him being careless with his secret id. But he's been doing this since he was 14-ish and it hasn't backfired yet. So. They're not actively stopping him.
Danny walks back to his lunch table after terrorizing Wes and Tucker just asks him what he said, because Wes was about as red as a tomato when he walked away. Danny offhandedly sighs and innocently says he tried to have a conversation about Phantom with him. Wes didn't seem to like it all that much. Weird.
And yes, yes. Wes is totally into it and is slightly enraged about this fact, because not even he knows why he's into it. The freak (affectionate). Danny gives him this troublemaker smirk, and i did say smirk, and Wes doesn't know whether or not if he wants to smack him or kiss him. Or both. Like, yeah, pine, white boy, pine.
(And this is a dramatized image but I'm also highly entertained by the idea that Wes keeps getting routine dirty looks from various peers because they, too, have a crush on Fenton. Except Fenton doesn't talk to anyone else unless its his friends and sometimes Valerie, and Weston, the guy who keeps accusing him of being the local vigilante, is somehow routinely having conversations with him?? And BLOWING IT?? Like everyone else thinks he's fumbling so bad, and yet fenton keeps tALKING to him.)
And yes!! i'm always so pleased whenever someone brings up the parallels D+D have to Dick and Damian, because that was lowkey my intention when I was making the solo clone damian au. Although it was supposed to be more implied since I don't really know much about Damian and Dick other than they're very close and Dick was Damian's Batman for a year. And then of course the very smaller parallel (??) 'what if' between Bruce and Damian and D+D in clone^2 considering who they are both clones of.
And man this just makes me want to talk about when batfam meet D+D because I just want them to see D+D be so brotherly towards each other. Like I want them to see Bby Dames wearing his goofy fun fact shirts and stealing Danny's hoodies/flannels/etc and blatantly lying about it when Danny asks. Only for Danny to then throw him over his shoulder like Tadashi from BH3 and jump around.
And also. I do not know what Damian Wayne's (DW as I'll call him) stance on being called "Dami" is - the general consensus I've seen is that its usually used as a playful nickname in order to get a rise out of him, and he doesn't really like it.
But baby Dames being called that freely, and often, and its sometimes used to get a rise out of him but thats typically what nicknames do. Its used as easily as his full name is with the same amount of affection. And its like his main go-to nickname. "Dami" and "Dames" with the occasional "Bud/Buddy", "Squirt", "Little man", etc. Not once is he ever called 'demon-spawn'
(which i know is a fanon nickname but its a relatively popular nickname)
but yeah, uhhh. i think thats all of my thoughts on the matter. for now lmAO
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It’s easy for people to criticize protectors for how we react to perceived threats —
Some of us get defensive, some of us get loud, or completely freeze up, or run for safety, or suddenly collapse and can’t move, or become mute, or have extreme fawn reactions … and to the outside, it seems over the top.
Or maybe you think it’s not fair that we saw you as a threat because you got angry and yelled. Maybe you think it’s childish that we sprinted out of the house or scary that we kicked into “fight” mode.
We had to identify threats fast. We had to do what it took to survive. To protect our system and our physical body and mind.
And we can and should learn to react more proportionally. But our instincts aren’t ridiculous or made to victimize you. They made sense in the traumatic environment that created us. They’re the only reason we’re still here now.
We still fall back on that because it worked and we survived.
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