#relationshps

[sapphic-sex-ed]

I know this is just a me problem & I need to just suck it up and deal with it but I feel... incredibly guilty about not wanting to have sex with my friends. For one, I've never had a friend actually want to engage in that with me so a part of it might be me feeling bad about "not being good enough", but another part of me feels like the queer community is advancing to new places that gives them more joy, freedom, and love and it feels like since the topic is so triggering to me (for no good reason mind you) that I just don't really belong? I haven't been able to talk to other queer people or go to pride events because I'm in such a small, homophobic town. But I feel like if I showed up to a queer event, I just wouldn't fit in and they just would not like me. Not only for looking overly masculine and kinda yucky (not in way thats celebrated in the queer community) after my transition, but because the accomodations I would need for my triggers would just be too unrealistic to expect them to accomodate to (I've been in therapy for nearly 10 yrs, unfortunately some triggers just dont go away). And also bc I'm a sapphic trans guy and ,, man idk if that would piss people off.

I just want to ask, is it okay if I still view sex as sacred for myself but don't think poorly of people who have casual sex or sex with friends? If anything, I'm envious of them for being able to have such a connection to their friends that I would never be comfortable having.

I’m glad to hear you’re seeing a therapist, it’s very clear from your ask that you’re struggling with very low self-worth and I’ve been there and it sucks.

As for your question itself — sex positivity and sex acceptance are about finding a sexuality that feels good for you and don’t shame those whose sexuality feels good to them but isn’t the same as yours. If sex is something sacred to you that is for you alone or only to share with a select few then that is always valid as long as it feels good to you. At the same time, having sex with friends and having multiple partners is just as valid as long as it’s what the people practicing it wants. Neither one has the right to shame or devalue the other.

I notice a pattern in your ask, where you make claims about how you feel people will respond to you. This is a normal thing our human brains do, but this anxiety seems to be preventing you from going out and trying. You think but you do not know that people wouldn’t accept you. Thou think but you do not know that you wouldn’t fit in. Internet queer discourse is poison basically and people in the irl communities are usually a lot more accepting. Online we kinda forget that we’re interacting with other people, but irl we can’t do that as easily (although dehumanization of minorities is a thing, so not impossible but it takes a lot more organized, structural effort). In Swedish we have this expression “provtänka” which roughly translates to “try-thinking” or “attempting-think” where we sort of say a thought we had to other people, usually friends, to try it out. It can be something beneficial like “wait isn’t it strange that inflation is up 4% but benefits have only increased by 2,6%?” and then we can all curse capitalism together. But it can also be (and this is a real example of a thing I said when I was 16) “there are so many bad parents like shouldn’t the government like make you take tests and and out a license for you to reproduce so no children get harmed” and your friends will rightfully go “no wtf??? That’s such an over-reach of government power what are you on???”. Like you try out a thought that you haven’t thought about that much or aren’t that invested in and you do a vibe check basically. Like that pregnancy thought was whack but I hadn’t really thought about it. Luckily my friends were reasonable people who asked what tf was wrong with me and explained why that was a horrible thing and I haven’t thought that way since. Online, you sorta either get jumped which has the effect of you doubling down on your not even fully formed opinion bc you get defensive, or you find other whack jobs who agree and that’s how radicalization happens.

So to the point bc I lost it bc that who I am as a person: people are a lot more forgiving offline and if someone has doubts initially, they’re less likely to voice them, and if they do they’re likely to get checked, and if they don’t just spending time with you will humanize you (which is why people from bigger cities are usually more open-minded, bc exposure to people different than them).

And a last point to wrap up: you write that you’re “envious of them for being able to have such a connection to their friends that I would never be comfortable having”. Relationships aren’t a hierarchy. Romantic relationships aren’t superior to friendships, and sex with friends isn’t superior to hook-ups or long-term partners, and partnered sex isn’t superior to solo sex. They’re different flavors and not everyone will like the same thing. I can’t stand olives but I love pineapple on pizza. I once dated a girl who despised potatoes. Neither is better than the other. I can’t really understand why she would hate potatoes and most people I believe find it strange, but like that’s just her preference. And I know many people find me strange for my choices in pizza toppings (pineapple, banana and curry).

That is to say: it sucks when you feel left out of some type of relationship you’ll never have — I’m an only child hand have always been envious of people with siblings — but that doesn’t mean that type is “better” or that that type of connection is “deeper” than what’s possible within the types of relationships that would fit you.

-mod liz

#mod liz #sorry for the ramble lmao #queer #relationshps #kink mention

[losangelesghostgirl]

i want to give my soul to someone, feel it in my limbs, filling me within crave a soul from someone, mine to keep, something so deep, i’d cut blood for, live and die for, run through infinities of life for two shooting stars caught in the same current

-gabina (@losangelesghostgirl )

#love #in love #relationships #lonely #dark poem #spilled poetry #poems and poetry #spilled words #lust #desire #passionate #prose #poetry #poems #writers and poets #die for you #lovers #connection #shooting star #relationshps #love quotes #love poems #love poem #love poetry #poems on tumblr #poems and quotes #by me #by me poetry #journal #journal entry

[ladyguinevere45]

True Devotion For The Two Of You

#love #relationshps #marriasge #rules

[bittergloss]

--I only wish to be with you from dusk to dawn, watching the world's frost and snow. Just want to wander long streets and narrow alleys with you, watching the moon on the eave.--

THE LAST IMMORTAL 神隐(2023) - EP. 14 Dir. Chan Ka Lam

#the last immortal #zhao lusi #wang anyu #cdrama #mygif #cdramaedit #cdramasource #tli #im not even caught up to this point yet it just rly got me even in a clip? #i loved this scene 😔 esp. with the ost like it really captured the sweetness and innocence of young first love #like something abt young love...... its at its purest form unsullied by external forces and you only experience it in this state once #b4 growing up and getting jaded and cynical abt relationshps and the world and i feel like a world weary old person #looking at their youth and innocence like i just want it all to work out for these kids i hope their hearts don't break too much #i want this to last a little longer for them i want them to live in this bubble a little longer b4 they get bulldozed by the world #its sweet tinged with a bit of sadness she's all dressed up to marry him. gathers flowers along the way with- #excitement and expectancy. lovingly puts a flower on him to match hers with his promise of forever in mind thinking its not far while he ha #no memory of his promise or his feelings towards her #ost so good and hits a weak spot of mine- singing abt wanting to experience just the ordinary everyday things with the person you love #don't you wish that's all love could and should be?

[officialmiintee]

baji and his mom after the shinichiro incident

#artists on tumblr #fanart #tokyo revengers fanart #tokyo revengers #baji keisuke #i need to explore more of their relationshp tbh #mint archive ; art

[loveandleases]

Hello dear author! How r u?

SOOO has Cam ever had a partner that was similar/looked like the mc?

Hello nonie~ I'm well thank you! I mean you will find this out in the story, somewhat offhandedly so I will go ahead and answer. So, absolutely Cam's last serious relationship, the partner who made him choose them or MC. Very much looked similar to MC. In fact, people commented on it even then. G was one of those people, as well as Jade. I can't exactly tell you what she said, but of course, she gave her 2 cents worth.

#loveandleases #love and leases #cam #asks #cam relationshp

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Whats the team go along with their future children and future selves?

Um, do you mean 'Would they get along with their future children and future selves?' like the original canon characters with my AU versions and their hypothetical children??? I guess they will??? IDK???

I'm sorry, this question caught me off-guard, I'm so confused. Mostly because I don't think I gave any indication about existence of children in this AU. (heck I even said that there won't be any canon ships except one, but you probably didnt see that ask so its ok)

But I also realized that I didn't give any indication that there is no children in this AU.

So using this as an opportunity to say: HoM AU won't contain any fanchildren. I have nothing against fankids. Its mostly because I don't have any?? Never created a fanchild for any of these fandoms and do not have any particular desire to, so like. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunno man

#que? #hom au #hom au q&a #had a passing thought of making someone a single parent to an adopted kid (only because it would be interesting and fun) #but my brain instantly shriveled and died when i tried to imagine a kid and a complicated relationshp they could have with parent #and how would it even fit into this au/story im trying to tell. I mean im trying to concentrate on my homies first and Ocs arent my priorit

[venndaai]

the face I'm imagining Wizard Hubris Tav making while reading this. oh my god the best part of customizable protagonists is moments like this when the game randomly matches up perfectly with your headcanoned backstory and character arc.

#imagine walking into a bookstore and the first book you look at turns out to be Cautionary Tale For You Specifically #my half drow tav with a complicated relationshp with menzoberranzan. #who was a shit wizard student and would do anything for knowledge and power and acceptance/respect. #including going along with everything the Emperor tells them #and embracing the tadpole transformation. #and is infatuated with the Emperor but starting to have. bad feelings about it. #TOO GREAT. #I do think at this point in Act 3 tav is starting to really question their life and choices. emperor being gung ho about teaming up with #gortash may be the nail in the coffin. #this goes along so perfectly with that!!! #bg3 blogging #wizard hubris run

[baddingtonbitch]

i was tagged by @schmata to shuffle my music and post the first ten results so here we go

say my name - tove styrke

so blessed - mariah carey

freak - lana del rey

video games - lana del rey

trampoline - wild strawberries

after the prince and the showgirl - shivaree

in my arms - kylie minogue

drive - deftones

very first lie - material issue

quiet nights of quiet stars - sarah vaugha

ty for tagging me! i tag @eatyourcandyfloss @enyathatsmyname @old-flesh @maraeffect and if you're reading this and feel like doin it i tag you too! 💖

#in a love/hate relationshp w spotify's definition of shuffle #i selfishly like that it panders to my habits but. i hate that it's not random. like at all #and sometimes it will keep forcing the same song on me for weeks because i listened to it a few times in one day

[randomnameless]

I don't understand the fans who think Patricia could be Shez's foster mother and want it to be revealed that she was. I can already tell them how that would go:

Cornelia: "The woman who raised you was actually Edelgard's mother/Dimitri's stepmother!" Dun dun dun!

And then it's never mentioned again.

Patricia's an empty mystery box.

TBH I sort of get how infuriating it is to have Barney's mom mentionned in passing but nothing ever came out of that plot point, because, being interesting in useless things Fodlan games don't want to explore is why I'm still blogging about those games lol

Take Citrus, we knew in the base game (SS) that she was one of Rhea's artificial being to bring Sothis, and we had to wait for the DLC to learn her name and more than just "she was a homonculi who died in childbirth" (even if that "more" is relative).

Barney and their mom are complete mysteries, were they raised by Cleobulus, a random NPC, Patricia herself, who knows...

I wouldn't say she's an empty mystery box, because she plays a role in Dimitri's tragedy and explains some things about Adrestia and Supreme Leader (who is in denial about her Mother being a concubine and not Ionius's twu luf! - if Supreme Leader is in denial about this despite knowing best, what does it mean for the rest of her beliefs?).

Sadly, for all the "deep politics" (tm), the Fodlan games dgaf about Patricia, when she could have been, frankly, a treasure trove for more serious interesting AUs, instead of the WTF about her life being ignored to avoid developing Supreme Leader so she could only pander to the self insert.

Imagine for a second the shitstorm that should have happened if it was known the Faerghus King married the Emperor's concubine and one of the Emperor's daughters was residing in the Royal castle? Forget "sheltering refugees is a casus belli" nonsense Nopes tries to sell, you could make all sorts of AUs where Adrestia declares war on Faerghus for, idk, "abducting" the Emperor's wife (not the official one though!) and daughter - even if Arundel, still siding with Ludwig, ran away to Faerghus for a certain reason...

In Nopes, we don't even know what is Barney, a 100% human, a mixed race human-agarthan (since Solon makes it clear he doesn't see Ignatz as a human like him), an Agarthan, a construct, idk. Barney and Larva are so bland, you'd think they were only the tip of a giant iceberg, but upon closer inspection, they're just the tip of a half melt ice cube.

#anon #replies #we could have had a lot of interesting stuff with Patricia #and i'm not talking about her siding with the woman who kept Hapi as a lab rat bcs #the woman who captures a kid is totes trustworthy when she tells her she'll be able to see her daughter #but we could have learnt more about Adrestian politics bar the generic 'everything is that bald fatso's fault uwu' we ended up with #why anselma became Ionius concubine was Volkard pressuring her to become a concubine so the Arundel fam would rise in the nobility? #or maybe their parents encouraged the “match”? #what happened to Anselma after Supreme Leader was born was she relegated to a far away area of the palace by the legal wife? #or was she part of Ionius's harem and had some rights? #why did she run away from him? What were her relationshps with Edel's half siblings? Or her fellow concubines #did we have concubine wars? Was Anselma okay with marrying Lambert to later backstab him and return to Ionius's side? #FE16 #3 nopes #fodlan nonsense #fodlan hc #Barney talks yes they do but they have as much consistance as morning dew

[oc3anofglass]

god, i never realized how tightly i wrapped myself around your finger

there are bands of rope around my chest and i can't breathe

i'll have to cut and hack my way out of these knots somehow.

in another life, perhaps i could make you pancakes in the morning.

and we can talk about everything while the sun saunters upward

and perhaps i'll have the courage to tell you i love you.

but for now, you'll answer your phone that rings every twenty minutes

and you'll find your way into his arms each night

and i'll drag myself out of this mess

and tell you that i'm happy, in the hopes that it'll be true one day

#lovers #love #relationshp #poetry #original poetry #poets on tumblr #unrequited love #heartbreak

[nostomannia]

"When was the last time you ate?"

That question nearly causes Solita to jump out of her seat, looking up from her painting to focus on Deity. "I-I dunno?"

"You've been sitting there for nearly twelve hours."

She blinked. Had it been that long? She settled her brush on her easel before moving to stretch. Oh yeah- her back was sore from having been slouched over for so long. She couldn't help the groan. "I guess I-... forgot?"

Deity sighed. "Go find something to eat. The last thing you need to do is collapse. Or better yet, go to sleep."

When was the last time she slept? She had been so focused on her painting she forgot about everything else.

"Go eat."

Solita could have sworn she heard a note of amusement in their words.

"Yeah-... yeah. I will. Thanks for th' reminder."

As Solita turned to walk away, Deity spared a glance at the painting she had been working on. It was a landscape, some sort of event she had been to recently. People walking, and seeming to enjoy themselves, although all the figures all seemed to lack faces. They couldn't help but ponder over that decision.

Even if they didn't understand the emotions of their creation, the need to create was something ingrained in Deity, as much as it seemed to be in their creations. Deity couldn't help the small tinge of pride, and the curiosity of what their child could continue to create as time went on.

#Always; The Black Swan Moves On The Lake || IC #Forbidden Things Have a Secret Charm || IC #Memories Circle Like Birds of Prey || Writing #I need to write deity more #and also i need to lean more into the good parts of their relationshp as well as the bad #because like. For better or worse there is a REASON Sol cannot just let go of Deity #also Sol getting hyperfixated lmaio

[losangelesghostgirl]

i want to give my soul to someone, feel it in my limbs, filling me within crave a soul from someone, mine to keep, something so deep, i’d cut blood for, live and die for, run through infinities of life for two shooting stars caught in the same current

-gabina (@losangelesghostgirl )

#love #in love #relationships #lonely #dark poem #spilled poetry #poems and poetry #spilled words #lust #desire #passionate #prose #poetry #poems #writers and poets #die for you #lovers #connection #shooting star #relationshps #love quotes #love poems #love poem #love poetry #poems on tumblr #poems and quotes #by me #by me poetry #journal #journal entry

[skitterjitter]

One thing that will forever confuse me is that the Wednesday show used Goody as a first name…it’s not, it’s a title like Miss Ms or Mrs

It’s just a matter of a quick Google search to check — I don’t??? Understand???? Why that was chosen for her name????

#Ryn rambles #what are you gonna say there’s an Addams named Mistress somewhere?????? #also disliked the romance subplot #but that may just be me projecting my aroace-ness on Wednesday #also you can be aroace and be in a relationshp! #I want to see more queerplatonic relationships in media!!!! #(yes this means I headcanon WenClair as being qpps)

[prolibytherium]

10:15pm: I'm going to put on Evangelion instrumental OST while I write because it is good music and un-distracting, for writing :)

11:55 pm: I am completing my 10 billionth rewatch of End of Evangelion

#Im in a toxic and twisted relationshp with neon genesis evangelion still after all these years #I've probably watched the movie almost 200 times since 2015 its insane #I have a lot of extremely mixed and complicated feelings about the series as a whole but I love that movie sooooo fucking much

[spindlesaurus-rex]

Shakespeare Group Chat Poll

Ok, so inspired by @elsinore-and-inverness being fucking hilarious with their post about the witches and further enabled by @fairy-anon-godmother paying me literally tiny bits of attention in my Shakespeare ramblings, it's time to ask ...

Please reply with what I'm missing/ rant in the tags/ rebagel etc

#shakespeare #polls #group chat #silly #so few options #need more Shakespeare options #dynamics #character relationshps