#sad rambles

[vvyvernicus]

Why do the characters I start obsessing over always have the least fan content 🥲

#fanfiction #sad rambles #fanart #mr house #cedric the sorcerer #the villainess wants to make her husband slim down #at least the content I'm looking for #i need to write

[the-sad-painter]

..hi

Im the sad painter. Dni if you are a prosshipper, a terf, or are homophobic.

#post painted sad- when I paint posts

#the sad painter- on all of my posts

#sad rambles- me rambling...

#sad painter uses a paintbrush - my terrible art.

Mascot!

oh.. gone already? I'll paint this post sad before you go..

This post has been painted sad..

#the sad painter #post painted sad #sad rambles #i think

[wiltinghost]

- anaïs nin, 1955-1966

#trauma vent #actually mentally ill #actually depressed #mentally ill #life is so hard #sad rambles #vent post

[chez-sad]

*touches tumblr homepage tabs* something happened here and I’m confused lmao why is there a luffy tab?

#sad rambles

[voidsiblings]

if my anxiety could not make my chest so tight that'd be great

#elletalks #sad rambles

[mrsalenko]

.

find myself a bit anxious tonight about work. not being ‘perfect’ bothers me. small mistakes that i blow into big things. no one can keep up with the standards i judge myself by but i can’t help it. i had such bad work experiences since moving that now in desperate to perform well even on crap that doesn’t really matter and i wouldn’t have cared about before. idk why tonight is bad, my days aren’t bad. i have bad trichtiliomania stress compulsion tonight and that makes me stress more.

i also have been thinking of how permissive and gracious and endlessly patient my older sister is with her kids vs how downright mean, judging and harsh she was to me when i was a kid and when nan was dying. (she is about 14 years older than me) she would reduce me to tears telling me what i should and shouldn’t do especially around nan, how i never should have quit university, that i was wasting my life and potential whatever, that i should move, that i should do this and that. she tried to make me for a mould i never was gonna fit. im not like her, her childhood was completely different from mine… and her kids are the opposite, she drives them around whenever, hours and hours after working all week, never pressures them or judges them, or makes them work jobs they hate, heck her son quit school before year 12 without any fuss. she and her partner would gang up on me alone and try to get me to handle things the way they thought i should

where was that chill energy when i was young? that bothers me for some reason, maybe how it affected me so badly about thinking i was a loser and just a waste of potential and always handled everything (like nan’s illness and death) wrong, when no one ever actually practically helped me cope. i was a freaking kid, and i was only 24ish when nan finally died, only a few years older than her oldest, who she babies to the extreme. nan was the only adult in my life who ever loved me genuinely for me, weirdness and anxiety and failures and all. she never judged me, never made me feel less that perfect just for who i was. my mum and dad thought i was all kinds of weird, a failure, unable to cope with anything and useless

so why was my sister so hard on me? sometimes i wish she would reflect on that. the unfairness of it all kind of hurts? no one except nan ever cut me a freaking break and they certainly all contributed to me being so anxious and having problems with perfectionism and what i should be doing or achieving. i always feel like i’m behind and wasting whatever it is because i’m not achieving at 100% level, always feel like a failure for just being what i am.

my sister is great now. listens to me. doesn’t tell me what to do, is supportive. but only since she got older and her kids got older. the damage is freaking done you know? you can’t unfrick a person up sometimes. she just didn’t know better how pressuring she was i guess. i still run every life decision by her like asking for permission. i never feel confident in my own choices or direction despite being on my own and coping alone for a very long long time now.

i cannot believe still how much i miss nan. the grief is bottomless, absolutely bottomless. having someone who loved you exactly for you… and having every trace of that erased from the world, never feeling loved and understood completely again.

so long story short… i stress about not being good enough and people not liking me or feeling that people think i’m stupid and never measure up and it takes so so much energy always trying to be so vigilant

#sad rambles #i’m fine it’s just a hard night cos i’m tired and feel anxious

[leaf-in-a-flower-garden]

I need to hug Daleth rn cause I'm having big-sad-feelings time that only the oldest gender neutral 12ft tall grandpa who was rejected by society giving me a big 'ol warm hug could fix

#skyblr #sky cotl #sky elders #daleth #sad rambles #whaterever-o'clock rambles

[craycraybluejay]

Just finished the s15 spn finale for the first time... I don't cry like at all, but oh man, I sobbed and whimpered like a little kid. My heart hurts, my tummy hurts, my head hurts from emotion. That was. Ow. You think it'd hit less after putting it off for like two years? No way in hell. Fuckin tear tracks on my neck and chin. Sticky.

The.

The part where Sam goes on. I couldn't do that if my brother died. I'd kill myself. That's the thing you know. I think the younger is always more resilient, stronger. The younger always shows more emotion, but the older feels things just as deeply, if not more. But it's an older brothers job to be the strong one, more stoic. Sam survived Dean's death, with much on-screen grief agony. I don't think Dean would survive Sam's. But they met in heaven. God I wish something like that was real, that people you love weren't really gone when they're gone. I'm terrified with the idea of those few that I love dying before me. But its always the sibling, man. God I'm not normal about this. I want to run shaking into my own siblings arms just bc I know they would comfort me. Just bc I want to remind myself it's just a show, my own humans are alive, everything is OK. But how could it be ok? I watched through 15 seasons of so much pain and love. Cas confessed his love to Dean when he died, but when Dean died he told his love to Sam. As if the man didn't already know. As if they hadn't risked everything to save each other over and over. As if Dean didn't spend his entire life protecting his Sammy. God. Fuck. Thinking about it just makes me wanna cry again it's hard to put my emotions into the right words to fully say what I mean, you know? Say it without sounding downright mad. Or like. Sick in the head. How could you put it under useless words. It is love. It is powerful. It means everything. It's agony. It's life, and death, and the refusal to give up on it and each other. It's blood, and sweat, and watching the person you love most in the world suffer over and over again. I know what that's like. I live that. I tried to get away, to avoid being part of that. But as it turns out I'd a hundred times rather be in hell and try to save someone I love and watch them hurt than be away from that person. That I always have been able to take a good hard beating for that person but wanted to rip my insides outside of myself to witness it happen to them instead. I... I need to hug just that person. I want to go home. That person is home. I want to protect, and care, and give. Fuck man. I'm gonna be fucked up over this for days.

#spn finale #personal #mildly venty #sad rambles #spn #spn season 15 #sam and dean #forever and ever #saving people hunting things #supernatural finale #me being insane about shit #*wailing* #sobbing screaming crying #m not gonna sleep till i can call #fuck sleep i need assurance that ur alive and happy and taking care of yourself #not in a romantic way #but can you crawl inside my ribs #ow my heart #my poor heart #being a little bitch over spn again #imagine how fucking insane i would be if i had a mom or dad #take every opportunity to cry into her lap or something ;_; #maybe its best i dont have very many people in my corner #i feel things strongly. painfully. i dont know what id do with myself with such an abundance of love #im all sweaty and my eyes hurt urgh #delete later #for reals #im too real rn #my ass dean coded as hell its in my dna #and now i need a cigarette

[saralynnx]

I really love my simblr and I want to keep it going. However it’s really difficult to when I want to play a different neighborhood every damn day. I don’t know what to do.

#sad rambles

[lucy-verse]

Insomnia fucking blows, especially when you have work in a couple of hours.

#sad rambles

[bobapplesimblr]

The desire to make Monster High art is making me cry cause I want to do it so bad but I can’t seem to sit down and do it

#rambles #sad rambles

[decaying-distortion-2049]

It’s nights like this when I wish I wasn’t a broke ass teenager and I could’ve had a nice phone back then, my friends always took out picture and,,,well they’re all gone now and all our memories with them. I was taking them half the time but god I wish I could look back on them, remember the vibe we had back then, see exactly what the moment was like. Best part about being from a small town is the abandoned building and we spend all our time in them I bet the pictures were amazing, the one in my cover photo was one of my favourite places im so happy I still have a few and I’m low-key excited to post them I hope you like them

#i miss 2014 #text post #emo blog #emo girl #sad rambles #photography

[tinajaxen]

I am a firm believer in the idea that “everything happens for a reason” but I honestly want to change years 2014-2019 so much sometimes. Like I could have tried harder. I should have stayed away from certain people and I would have had a different story by now.

#spilled thoughts #thoughts of mine #thought #tumblr thoughts #thoughts #rambles #ramble #rambling #sad rambles #ramblings #words #hey #hello #what hashtags #what hashtags to use

[chez-sad]

What do you mean TheLogDaddy twitter page isn’t real.

#watcher #sad rambles

[ladyotakukiut]

If I heard any emotional song I will shed a few tears or just trying to understand what’s the emotions the song trying to portray. But listening to James Blunt’s Monsters got me bawling literally with snot & all cause omg the strong emotion I’ve tried to suppressed all this years...The people around me keep telling that I’m the ‘eldest’ in the family, because I’m already an adult who should be independent & not wallow in sadness, because it’s unfair to your younger sister, because she is suffering from marriage problems, because you have nieces & nephews who also depended on your income cause their parents could not do it all. I literally could not sit down & tell the world how much I miss my mom & dad because they literally saw me as my past self who’s strongly dependent on the emotional support of my parents due to my severe anxiety. I never realized how overprotective they are with me, because they understood how strongly introvert I was. Like yes my past self is a gaddamn dependent baby but I have to force myself to change along a hard journey of falling out with my sister & reconciling, of strengthening myself to fight against my anxiety & the bullying. To fight for my independent. But never once I felt that I have time to express my strong feelings of pain & lost for them. So when the song starts all that suppressed memories & emotions just gushed out & I start bawling

#sorry I’m just too emotional this past 2 days maybe its just me over stressing after a long time at work while fasting #or just its time for me to finally let it out #its an asian problem thing maybe #James blunt monsters #random ramblings #sad rambles #myself #may delete later

[lazylittledragon]

made a sticker for anyone to slap onto their work if they need to

#ramble #i've only interacted with tiktok via osmosis #but something is eating their brain matter and it makes me sad #it's fine if you only want to read light things (all power to you) but don't whine at me because i write about bad people sometimes #i'm so tired