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alex-ackerman-11 · 1 year

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Golden Ring

Summary: Hydra threatens you to kidnap Bucky again, your boyfriend, so you have no choice but to obey, since you would do everything for him.

Warnings: rage, anxiety (a lot), blood, self-mutilation, fighting. The reader has low self-esteem.

Bucky Barnes x Male Reader

Another punch came into your face, all bloody and ruined. Your hands were attached behind your back with handcuffs.

"did you understand?, fag?"

"y-yeah, i did!"

"can't hear you!"

"¡YES I UNDERSTAND!"

"that's a good boy"

He patted your head and made a sign with his head to his companions to release you. You fell to the ground immediately feeling how sleep took over your whole body, trembling and bleeding. You gave yourself over to the darkness, too tired to try to escape this horrible place.

...

Listening to repetitive sounds in the distance, it becomes difficult for you to breathe and your body began to ache in different areas. You opened your eyes as soon as you could, you couldn't recognize the place until a couple of seconds passed, you were on a stretcher, probably in the Avengers complex. for a second you were glad they had found you, but then again, the deal you were forced to accept invaded your mind.

How could you accept something like that? You were going to betray your companions, you were going to give them away. You felt like an idiot, a fucking idiot, however, was it okay that this was all to protect your boyfriend, bucky? . You loved him so much and you knew that he had been through so much in his time on Hydra, just as he knew about your mental problems and how much you fought with your powers to control them and not hurt anyone.

They were going to hate you when they found out, they would hate you so much, but could they understand? It was for love, protection. You didn't want Bucky to suffer again like he did before, he didn't deserve that, but with what you were about to do, you deserved his hate. What will happen to Bucky when he finds out too? It is obvious that he will finish you instantly, he will beat you up? Your teammates will kick you out of the team? It is the most logical thing that came to your mind. You were going to ruin everything you built for years with them and with your boyfriend, to protect him.

So many thoughts ran through your mind at great speed, however they were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, you met the person you were thinking of, your boyfriend.

"Hi, how are you feeling, love?"

"I'm okey" you lied, you didn't wanted to worry Bucky. You're already a mess.

"I worried a lot, honey. You can't imagine, the only idea of you being tortured by Hydra is...."

Bucky sighed shakily, lowering his head and running his human hand over his eyes, you noticed they were a little red, he must have been crying a little. I lift my head to look at you and smile, leaning down to leave a lasting kiss on your forehead.

"You can't train and go to missions for a while"

"I can't have a problem with that, I would like to rest"

Bucky laughed and lay down beside him, putting his arms around you, even though you always felt loved by his side. You still felt like an idiot because of the way you were going to betray everyone, you were going to try to explain to Bucky after it's all over, he would have to understand, right? He would do shit for you, right?

Your gaze fell on the gold ring you both shared, a constant reminder of your love and commitment to your relationship.

"if either of us has a problem, we have to promise to listen first, no matter what"

And again, you felt guilty, the worst person in the world, you didn't deserve Bucky.

...

"We'll be back for the night love, I promise. Nothing can't happens, we have everything planned, we got them, those sons of bitch."

He smiled at you seeing your worried face, you still have some bruises on your face that were healing quickly by your powers.

"can you promise me something, bucky?"

"of course love, what is it?"

"Whenever there is a misunderstanding between us, let's talk first"

"I promise doll, this is my promise" I raise my ring finger, showing the gold ring.

You smiled at him and then you kiss, before Bucky got on the plane. Now to expect the worst.

You sent the message to a Hydra agent on a phone they gave you. After sending it, you threw the phone in the trash, then locked yourself in your shared room with Bucky, you were very anxious, playing with your hands, the anti-stress toys that Bucky had given you days after meeting you. You decided to take a bath to relax, it worked, miraculously. Leaving the bathroom, you saw yourself in the mirror, you already had a little weeks beard. Maybe it was time to make a change so you could kill some time.

When you finished shaving, they still hadn't returned, you took your time in the shower and also shaving, along with the time you spent in bed staring at the ceiling nervously, they were taking their time. It was supposed to be a well-planned mission, but as you already knew, something did go wrong. Very bad.

You went to the kitchen for some food and to make a cake, they were tremendously anxious than you have ever been in your entire life, eating and cooking should at least take up your time and distract you, instead of constantly scratching your arms leaving red marks that threatened to bleed. First you ate some bread along with some juice, then you got busy preparing the ingredients to bake the cake, after all Steve's birthday was near, he was a very good friend of yours and bucky had no problem with that, since He loved how you got along with his best friend. You prepared, you put it in the oven, you decorated the cake and you waited more, you even had time to change your wounds, face, chest, torso and arms.

It was already night, you were about to call Bucky, when golden I saw the Avengers ship land. You went to greet them, hoping that nothing too bad had happened, maybe you were right, since none of them were dead, but when you saw a stretcher come out with Sam on it, unconscious and probably near death, you realized a mind blow. Steve, helping Peter walk, you saw his face, it was obvious he took a beating.

You ran over to Bucky, who was talking to Natasha, asking if she was okay, they both directed their tired gaze at you.

"Are you both okay?" Bucky sighed a little wearily and hugged you tightly. "We're fine love but... everything went terribly wrong, it seems that everything was a trap"

"I don't understand" Natasha seemed very angry, "What went wrong? Why did they already know we were going to attack?"

"Guys" Steve approached "we have to meet, I have to tell him something very important, it can't wait, hurry up". Natasha immediately followed him and you stayed with Bucky.

"You shaved" Bucky ran his hand over your smooth face, you smiled, knowing that this was possibly one of the last interactions you could have with him in the next few days. "I like it, you look very cute" he smiled and kissed your cheek, your lip trembled, you definitely didn't deserve Bucky, he deserved someone better than you, the team deserved someone better than you. Inside your mind you were already imagining your future as an outcast and the most hated person in the avengers, possibly you were going to be killed for treason, or maybe Fury would lock you up for life, you didn't want to live locked up until you died, so you started to organize your ideas in your mind to escape and change your identity.

"w-we have to go to the meeting" you stuttered, angry, sad and disgusted with yourself, feeling a jumble of emotions in your stomach, you already felt the food you ate a couple of hours ago slowly go up your esophagus.

"Are you okay doll?"

"Just remember that I love you, i love you Bucky"

"aww I love you too doll. Let's go"

Everyone was sitting up now, except for Sam and Peter, who were recovering. Steve started the meeting.

"As you know, they already knew we were on our way to attack them, but for some reason, someone warned them, someone who knew our plans" Bucky took your hand, at least he's here, he wasn't kidnapped again to be the one winter soldier, he didn't deserve that. "we have an infiltrator in the team" you swallowed when you noticed that he directed his gaze to you, consequently now everyone was looking at you "and that traitor is at this table" your heart ached when bucky let go of your hand and got up from the chair to get away from you. "Do you have any explanation for us, agent y/l/n?"

"Steve, what are you talking about?

"I mean y/n, your boyfriend, betrayed us. He send our plans and location to Hydra. May we know how long you've been doing this?" the increase in her tone made you tremble, you were already slightly savoring the taste of vomit in your mouth.

"Please guys, Bucky, you have to listen to me and understand, I did it because..."

"Did you really do it?"

"Bucky... love"

"Shit! You're a shit y/n! A little undercover rat!"

"Let me explain, please Bucky listen to me" he simply turned around and remained silent, you turned to see your companions, they all looked at you wanting to kill you. Natasha was muttering death curses against you, Steve you keep looking at you very angry, you were almost sure that Clint already had his arrows ready under the table. "They forced me"

"Don't say that now, because I can't take any more lies from your mouth" Bucky looked at you again as he killed you with his gaze, both of his arms were in clenched fists. You could see his eyes like pools and how hurt he was "you know everything they did to me and you still did this". You tried to talk to him and explain to the others one more time, but he cut you off. "Steve? What's next?"

"Agent y/l/n, you are revoked from your position as avenger, partner and friend. You will no longer be part of the team, however you will attend missions and training, you are still useful to us, son of a bitch"

After that Steve made his way to the exit, everyone followed him.

"I have proof!"

"more lies" said bucky starting to walk.

"Wanda! I know you'll understand. I did it for love! Okay?! You can read my mind, see my memories!"

"y/n..." she touched your cheek, where the tears were already rolling "I really want to help you, b-but" she was interrupted by Steve, who was frowning "sorry"

Suddenly Nat approached you, you had hope for a second until you fell to the ground with a tremendous pain in your groin. After that, you saw Bucky next to her still looking at you hurt. You got up as fast as you could, calling him.

"wait bucky! let's talk please"

"follow me"

You went after him like a puppy, both of you reached the bathroom. He just turned to meet your eyes and clenched his jaw as he sighed, you knew he wasn't going to forgive you when a tear from his escaped his eyes. The strong nausea became much stronger when he saw that he took off the ring.

"You said we'd talk about it first. If either of us had a disagreement or problem we'd talk about it! We're not talking! Bucky I beg you!...don't leave me" Your voice broke, you tried to grab his hands but he walked away and approached the toilet "don't do it...please. I-if you do...I'll lose my mind completely" Bucky took off the ring and without hesitation threw it into the water, then left the bathroom with a broken heart.

Your mind won't stop spinning, experiencing many emotions at the same time and your stomach wouldn't stop churning. You returned the little you had consumed a few hours ago, but not before removing the ring from the water.

...

When you got to the shared room and opened the door, you found your belongings in suitcases and Bucky lying on the bed sleeping, even though you knew he wasn't asleep. You didn't want to bother him anymore and you grabbed your things to move to another room. And as you had told him, you lost your mind, you were no longer the same, even you noticed it.

Now you were a punching bag in training, you dislocated your knee, broke your finger, and now you had a huge bruise around your eye, so horrible that the white part of your eye was red.

You had returned to your old eating habits, as many of your peers made fun of you, they were too cruel, talking about your physique, criticizing your abilities and problems and constantly highlighting your betrayal towards them. You didn't eat if you weren't ravenously hungry, you were more and more exhausted, not only physically but also mentally.

One afternoon, you were cooling down after doing some exercise. Most were present in the training room, concentrating on their own. Your stomach demanded food, but you only came with more water. Suddenly Tony arrived in a hurry, as if he had run a marathon.

"Guys! Y/n he was telling the truth. You have to believe him!"

"What's all the talk about, Stark?" Steve leaned in, as did most to listen. You didn't get too close, you didn't want to face them all again.

"this proves it!" in his hand he held the phone that you supposedly had thrown in the kitchen trash can, days had passed. How the hell do I get it? "When I heard about y/l/n's alleged betrayal I had Jarvis check the cameras, I saw him throw this in the dumpster"

"I was just removing the evidence, obviously didn't want us to find out, but we did"

"I examined it thoroughly, there are no cheats in this, I tell you Tony Stark. Y/n wasn't lying"

"It's another trick, he's too smart, he graduated with honors, he studied the same career" Natasha was convinced.

Everyone went back to their own thing, Tony came running towards you. "Help me, if you want to go back to the team and with Barnes, you have to agree with me, understand?"

"It's not worth trying anymore Tony, I appreciate you believing me...they believe what they want to believe. It's not going to work anyway. At least I'm still useful."

The missions were never the same either. To begin with, in the ship they always sat as far away from you as possible, during the fights nobody helped you or covered you, you had to endure pain until you reached the tower, since you did not know how to heal wounds, except to stop bleeding.

It was then that Wanda decided that she was fed up with everything and accented her classmates. She took you out of your room and dragged you into the little celebration after a successful mission taking place in the room. Of course, you weren't invited.

"You're all jerks!" he came screaming to the place, everyone immediately turned to see them both. You noticed that both Sam and Peter were already in them, fully recovered and healthy.

"Wow, wait Wanda, what are you doing?" Steve moved closer wanting her to get away from you.

You stared at your gold ring, which you still have, with the sound of Steve and Wanda's voices in the background. You began to remember your time with Bucky, how you met, the way you asked Bucky Barnes out on a date, and how you blushed when you kissed him for the first time. They always had a late night snack after missions, no matter how long. When he gave you kisses all over your face and hair. How he played with your ears until you fell asleep.

"I'm going to show all of you"

You came back to reality when you felt how Wanda pushed you to the ground "I'm sorry, this is going to hurt a little". You didn't have time to respond when she placed one hand on your forehead and the other in the air. You had no idea what she did, but you felt a terrible headache, you started to see the memories from the moment Hydra got their hands on you months ago. When it was all over, your nose was bleeding and everything looked blurry. When she cleared your mind you felt Wanda's arms help you up. You looked around you, everyone looked worried.

"I'm going to sleep for a while...I don't know what you did but my head hurts" you told Wanda, not knowing exactly what she did but you had an idea.

As you walked slowly towards your room, Bucky had started to cry just like Steve, remembering the moment when you tried to talk to him and he just ignored you, the moment when you presented him with the cake you had made especially for Steve, he threw it away in the trash.

"I'm a jerk"

"bucky nobody knew about this, we only had evidence against him. Tony said it, he is innocent, he was telling the truth"

"I didn't hear them clearly, can you repeat it? Of course I was right! My AI verified it"

"Still we should have given him the benefit of the doubt, he said he had proof and we didn't listen. I didn't listen and I threw my ring in the toilet" Bucky covered his face with his hands and then ran after you.

...

You jumped in fright when you heard someone knock on your door a little violently. Then you heard his voice.

You were totally sure it was Steve, wanting to tell you that you were out of the team and that you had to leave the tower, so I saved you the trouble, already having your suitcase packed. As soon as you opened the door the person lunged at you, causing you to back up and fall on your bed with that person on top of you, you soon realized that he was Bucky.

"B-bucky, what are you doing?"

"Listen to me…" you sighed and tried to get up but he just held you tighter. "I know I wasn't fair to you, I was ignorant, an idiot, a bad boyfriend…" his vos trembled, you knew he was already crying. "I-I broke our promise. Not only did I break your heart but I also let you down..." Something caught Bucky's eye, a suitcase and two jackets next to it, that wasn't good. "A-Are you leaving?"

Bucky looked at your face feeling desperate and scared, of course he had missed you wanting everything Steve said not to be true. Your face reflected pain, pure and intense. Then he remembered all the fights and hits in the missions and training. He got up quickly and offered you his hand, you took it kindly. Once on your feet, you put on both jackets and grabbed your suitcase.

"Wait, wait! You can't leave please! I'll DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I'll get you that puppy you wanted last month, we'll move out of the tower like you wanted! please...don't leave me!". "I-I know I was wrong, I made a big mistake and-and I didn't trust you. Maybe you don't want to continue with this relationship, but we can be friends if you want but I'm begging you. Don't go...I need you"

Seeing him cry just broke your heart. You were decided to leave and give yourself and Bucky some time, you need to rest, both mentally and physically and Bucky needed to think, clarify his ideas and reflect on what happened, on what he did to you, but it wasn't his fault that this happened, it was yours, completely. You didn't care what the other avengers think, you just hurt that Bucky couldn't trust you and the way he threw his ring in the water like it was nothing, like you and his relationship were nothing.

"Where were you when I needed you?"

...

You agreed to sleep with Bucky until nightfall, after you collapsed and cried hitting his chest, he knew you couldn't hurt him but you would if you wanted to, with your electricity powers. You were so tired that you didn't stop him from hugging you and snuggling up on the bed. "We'll talk when we're both a little calmer"

You were able to sleep well for a few hours, by his side, with someone giving you warmth and protection. You had fallen asleep first with him caressing your hair and occasionally giving you kisses, but he had noticed something strange when he intertwined your hands. Lines on your wrists, some old and some new. I cry silently that night and hug you tight until you fall asleep, thanking whatever heavenly being you had stayed.

You could stay and be an Avenger again, but you needed stability, quiet, and space to recover. It wasn't going to be easy for you now that Bucky wanted you to stay, it was for the good for both of us.

They both had a habit of moving around in their sleep, so in the early morning, when you woke up from the lack of warmth and touch, you realized that he had turned to sleep on his stomach. He always looked adorable when he slept, it hurt when you got up and he looked for something to hug finding the warm pillow you had used, it had your smell and it confused his brain. You grabbed your backpack and left the room as quietly as possible, leaving a note on the nightstand before leaving.

No one heard you leave, you deactivated Jarvis on your way out. You felt a little strange without your ring, you had left it next to the note with the other bucky ring. You had enough money to survive, however, a good friend of yours had told you that there was no need to pay to keep him.

Luckily you didn't have to walk that long or that far, it was close and at least there was a very good sandwich shop next door. You knocked on the door and a few seconds later it was opened, you smiled at the person in front of you. "Old friend, I'm sorry for everything you went through. Come in, it's cold, you made yourself some tea"

While you settled in the simple room that they had given you, it was dawn and with that bucky began to wake up. He pushed away from the pillow she was hugging, wondering that it wasn't you that he was locked in her arms. Panic appeared on her face as soon as he saw that your suitcase was missing. "No, no, no, no. Shit!" He jumped up and went to the bathroom, he went out and searched her room, then the training room and finally the kitchen, you were nowhere. He asked Jarvis, but he had been disconnected on the way out, so he didn't know. He grabbed his hair in desperation and sat down in the kitchen. Steve arrived, seeing his best friend.

"What's up buck? Is it y/n? Is everything okay?"

"He left. He went out during the night and it's my fault"

"buck, we were all to blame. We know that y/n was very sensitive and we didn't hold back with our words and actions and I'm going to repeat it to you as many times as necessary. It may just need time, but I'll help you find it"

"This is it, it's the end of our relationship"

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x male reade #sebastián stan x male reader #male reader #marvel

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