#shes holding a food pellet

[indulgentdaydream]

Cooking Lessons

Jason Todd X Reader

My first x reader fic! Of course I had to go with jason. He’s the love of my life🥰 inspired by me not knowing how to properly cut a bell pepper yesterday and wishing somebody (cough cough, jason, cough) had been there to help me

(ps. for anyone who also doesn’t know how to cut a bell pepper!)

Not proof read!!

Warnings: use of feminine pet names (ex, princess) food mention, knife mention, knife use, one (1) use of profanity.

Jason walked into the kitchen, sweating from his workout. He found you standing at the counter, your back to him. You had a knife in hand, chopping something up. He opened the fridge to grab himself some water. He could smell the spices of whatever you were cooking in the pan to your left.

He walked up beside you. He placed a hand on the small of your back as he looked down. There was chicken cooking in the pan and you were cutting up a bell pepper, “What you cooking, princess?”

“Quesadillas,” You hummed, focused on your task at hand. There was a cooking book open off to your right, set on top of the microwave

Jason hummed in response, smiling, “Smells good.”

He continued to watch you chop. Your hand moved slowly. You set the pepper on it’s side before cutting it in half, straight through the centre. The seeds inside spread all over the knife. You began to awkwardly cut around the centre, further making a mess of getting the seeds everywhere. He grew a little concerned as he kept watching, “Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“Who taught you how to cut up a pepper?”

Your shoulders dropped a little, your hand stilling. You looked up at Jason with a defeated look, “Nobody…”

He chuckled. He leaned in and kissed the pout on your lips, “May I?”

You nodded. He set down his water before moving in behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, his arms under yours. He picked up another bell pepper, a dark green.

He placed it on the board, placing his hands over yours. His chin rested on your shoulder as he spoke, “First, you gotta cut off the stem.”

He guided your hands, enjoying the small giggle that escaped you at the sight of his large, calloused, scarred hands resting over your smaller ones, nearly engulfing them.

He spoke calmly and slowly, “Now, you flip it on it’s head, where the stem was. See the bumps? You cut down to chop those off.”

You hummed, “Like this?”

Jason nods, “Just like that.” He pulls his hands off yours, bringing them back to rest on your hips, letting you do it yourself.

“See?” He says when you finish, leaving the untouched centre, with all the seeds still intact, leftover, “This way, you can take the pieces you cut off, flatten them out, and they’re easier to cut,” He pauses, “Plus, you don’t make a mess of the seeds.”

He picks up the centre for you, tossing it into the small open compost bin sitting on the window sill of the kitchen. You shrug, picking up on of the pieces you had cut before, covered in the tiny white pellets that were the seeds, “I was just gonna wash it off with water.”

He lets out a low, thoughtful hum, “Waste o’ water.”

You mimic his hum and cast him a look over your shoulder, where he still rests his chin, “Not what you said last night when you dragged me into the shower with you.”

A grin pulls at Jason’s lips. He raises his eyebrows a little, amused, “That’s why we gotta counteract our water usage, princess.” He straightens, planting a kiss on your cheek, “It doesn’t help that your knife is a bit dull. I’ve got a sharpener in my duffle, though.”

You didn’t realize what he meant until he had already stepped out of the kitchen. You whipped around, “Jason Peter! You are not using the same thing you sharpen your blades with on my kitchen knives!”

He steps back in, holding his hands out, “It’s clean!”

You stared at him, “I do not believe you.”

She caught Jason’s smile before he nodded at the stove beside her, “Chicken’s burning.”

“Shit!”

#dc #red hood x reader #red hood x fem!reader #cw cursing #tw cursing #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #cw knife mention #cw food mention #tw knife mention #tw food mention #jason todd x you #dc x reader #red hood x you

[steddieas-shegoes]

Request: steve having 4 rabbits (all male) as pets bc he loves them. They are super rambunctious aside from his last one which he recently adopted from a shelter. But HE SPOILS THEM??? He refers to them as his kids???? The party doesn't know what kids he is referring to until they see him with his babies. Thats all just pure flufff

First of all, title on AO3 is from Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter because Steve loved that story as a child and that was the inspiration behind most of this. Second of all, this is ridiculous and fun. It's so very unserious. I cannot stress enough how much this is just absolutely silly. As with any of the stuff I write, there's some emotions and discussions of Steve's shitty childhood, but the rest is just some hilarity between Steve, Eddie, and Robin with a guest appearance of the party. - Mickala ❤️

---------------------------------------------------------------

Steve’s parents had never bothered with a pet, had never even thought about the fact that most kids got to have a dog or a cat or a turtle when they were young.

They didn’t think about how much Steve needed a companion of some kind.

It didn’t stop him from always playing with his friends’ pets, or stopping at the pet store after work sometimes to show some love to the ferrets nobody seemed to want. He volunteered at the animal shelter when he had time, always getting too attached to the dogs coming and going.

When he moved into a house with Eddie and Robin, they all agreed he could and should get a pet, as long as they could all agree on what it was beforehand.

The problem was, he knew he didn’t have time to commit to a dog, not with how often he was working and taking the kids where they needed to go and helping Eddie with his band. He knew Robin wouldn’t admit it, but being around cats for more than a few minutes left her stuffed up and teary-eyed. He didn’t really want fish, or anything that he couldn’t hold or cuddle with. Birds were out because they were loud and on his migraine days, even the tiniest hint of sound would make him nauseous.

He’d never even considered rabbits.

But on his way home from work on his birthday of all days, he passed a truck with a cage full of bunnies in the back.

He pulled over, not thinking about what he was doing, just knowing that he wanted to hold one.

Robin, who was in one psychology course at the community college, called it healing his inner child.

Eddie, who liked to get on Robin’s nerves as frequently as possible, called it being his inner child.

Steve, who loved them both very much, thought they were maybe both right.

“Can I hold one?” Steve asked the older woman who was sitting on the tailgate of her truck.

“Sure. You have any rabbits?” she asked as she grabbed one from the cage.

“No ma’am.”

“Lovely pets. Unfortunately, we didn’t know one of ours was a male and now we have about 22 of these suckers to get rid of. You got room for one?” she watched him carefully as he held the baby rabbit to his chest.

All of the rabbits were gray except for four, which were an off-white color with speckles of brown. Steve didn’t know how genetics worked, especially not for rabbits, but he knew they were unique.

“I got room for four.”

He didn’t.

Not really.

But he would make room.

The woman only charged him for two, said he was doing her a favor by taking four anyway. She gave him a bag full of some food pellets, but told him they would probably still prefer to get lettuce and other vegetables often.

“I guess I should think of some names,” Steve said out loud on the way home. “I should probably also warn you that I didn’t talk to Robin and your other dad about this yet. But they won’t mind. I can build you guys a home in the backyard! And during the winter, you can stay in the shed.”

He had it all planned out in his mind, and nothing would ruin it.

—------------

“How many?!” Robin exclaimed.

“Rabbits?” Eddie asked, surprised, but not quite as shocked as Robin.

“It’s four males. They’re still babies, but they grow quick. They’re pretty low maintenance, and they can live outside so you won’t have to worry about allergies or noise or anything. And they can eat a lot of vegetables and some fruit so I won’t have to spend tons of money on special food.”

Eddie cupped his cheek in his palm and smiled.

“You don’t have to defend your choice to us, sweetheart. If you’re happy, I’m happy,” he kissed him on the lips quickly before pulling away and giving Robin a look that said she better agree.

“I’m happy you found pets?” Robin said, still clearly unsure about it, but giving a genuine smile.

“Okay, now names!”

It only took five minutes for Eddie to excuse himself from that conversation to start working on their enclosure.

“Steve, you cannot name a rabbit Edward.”

“There are no rules when it comes to naming rabbits. If I want to name the one who doesn’t stand still after my boyfriend, then I will!”

It went on like that for nearly an hour as Steve took turns holding each of the rabbits, keeping them close to his chest and petting them, giving them all a little kiss on the head before he put them back in the box they were temporarily in.

Eddie came in not long after they finally settled on names, giving Steve a kiss on the cheek and grabbing a glass of water.

“So? What are their names?”

Steve picked them up one by one, showing them off as he spoke.

“This one is Marty, and this one is Hobbit, and this one is Bard, and this tiny little guy is Pierre. Robin insisted on it because the speckle on his face looks like a mustache and goatee.”

“I hate to say it, Stevie, but I don’t think I’m the father,” Eddie teased as he rubbed Pierre’s head.

Steve gently pushed Eddie’s chest, but smirked at him.

“Despite your best efforts, I don’t think actual children will be biologically possible for us,” he said as he put Pierre back in the box and picked the entire thing up. “Now, show me their home!”

—----------------

Steve was a natural caregiver, had always been one even when he was alone.

Everyone knew it, everyone loved it about him.

But no one had expected him to treat his new pets as his actual children, not even Eddie.

He knitted them sweaters.

“They have fur already, Steve,” Robin said.

“But they’re so cute in them!”

Robin and Eddie shared a glance as Steve handfed them some lettuce.

—----------------

No one expected him to also come home with a fifth one right before Christmas.

He was holding it against his chest, under his jacket, whispering to it.

“Stevie? Whatcha got?”

“Don’t be mad. He was dropped off at the shelter with a few puppies and they said that they couldn’t keep him. I couldn’t-” Steve’s sharp intake of breath made Eddie drop what he was doing and get closer. “We have room or I can make room. He’ll fit right in! I think he looks like a Frodo, don’t you?”

Steve unzipped his jacket and a completely white rabbit shuffled around so it’s head was nestled further in his shirt.

“Sure, Stevie. Hi Frodo, welcome to our home. Rent’s due on the first, lettuce is available for free, and bath days are every other Saturday,” Eddie said quietly as he petted the rabbit’s back.

—---------------------

The first time the kids held the rabbits, Steve hovered like a worried parent.

“Just relax, love. They’re being careful,” Eddie whispered in his ear.

“I know. I just don’t want one to get loose and end up hurt or stuck somewhere,” Steve said, keeping his eyes on a constant rotation between all five rabbits.

“Can we feed them?” El asked with a beaming smile.

“Yeah, please!” Will said excitedly.

“Sure. But everyone only gets to pick one thing so they don’t overeat and get sick,” Steve agreed.

Eddie watched as Steve continued to hover, physically biting back comments about the way the kids were feeding them.

Eddie could sense his anxiety getting to a boiling point, knew he would probably explode in a minute if he didn’t intervene.

“Alright kids! Time for us to put the rabbits up for the night. They like to cuddle before they sleep,” Eddie said, reaching for the closest one to him, Bard.

They slowly put them all back into their enclosure, and Steve stood outside of it for a moment making sure they were all okay.

They were still a bit over excited from being out of the cage, all except Frodo, who had never been excited about anything.

“I’ll take the kids home,” Eddie said as he kissed Steve’s shoulder. “Staying out here for a bit?”

“Yeah, just until they calm down a little. Tell the kids I’ll see them tomorrow.”

Eddie nodded once and made his way back inside.

“Steve isn’t coming?” Max asked.

“Nah, he’s making sure the little ones behave. Everyone ready?”

The kids looked at each other, then back at Eddie.

“He’s making sure the rabbits behave? What are they gonna do, steal a carrot from the fridge?” Mike asked.

“Tone, Wheeler,” Eddie reprimanded. “And everyone leaves Steve alone about this, got it? He’s being his inner child.”

“Healing his inner child,” Robin said from the couch, focused on her word search.

“Right, that’s what I said,” Eddie clapped his hands. “Kids in the van or you have to scoop the rabbit poop!”

A chorus of “ew, gross!” rang out as the kids scrambled to run out the front door and to his van.

“Can you make sure he comes in in a few minutes?” Eddie asked Robin. “He doesn’t have a jacket on.”

“Are you his boyfriend or his mom?” Robin asked, still not looking up from her word search.

“I’m gonna be your problem if he gets sick from sitting out there in the cold too long.”

“Fine,” Robin rolled her eyes. “But if he makes me bottle feed Hobbit again because he ‘won’t eat the pellets and he has to eat something’ I am locking him out there to become one of them.”

“Fine.”

Eddie glanced out the window of the back door, smiling to himself as he watched Steve talking to the rabbits, like he did every night.

Whatever they called it, Eddie was just glad Steve was getting something he’d always wanted.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #ficlet #request #fluff #kind of a crack fic tbh #this is just fun and silly #i needed some fun and silly today

[deiaiko]

#17.2 Auri

Shibisu was beat. His match with Agni must have been the lamest out of everyone. He couldn't land a single blow on him no matter how hard he tried. All the while knowing that Agni was going easy on him. Still, Agni offered him an outstretched hand and pulled him up to his wobbly feet.

"You did your best," Agni smiled encouragingly. It was an odd look on him, since he looked a lot like Khun, and Khun wouldn't have smiled like that. At least never at him. "But there is still a lot to work on with those blind spots."

Shibisu knew. But he wasn't built for agility, especially with his low shinsu tolerance. Each time they ascended another floor, it took him some time to get used to moving quickly again.

"I have something for you." Agni pulled him out of his thoughts. He opened his palm. "Give me your hand."

Shibisu complied and mirrored Agni's example. In return, Agni placed something in his palm.

"What is this?"

"It's special fish food. Hold it like this and just relax, ok?" Agni instructed as he repositioned Shibisu's arm so it was fully outstretched, palm flat.

Before Shibisu could ask, Agni had called one of his hidden lighthouses. He whistled and a fish swam out from it. It was about an arm’s length and very fast. Its color was also quite muted; he would have missed it had he not been paying attention. 

"This is Auri." Agni introduced as the fish swam around him and preened under his touch. "She's a domesticated electric eel, capable of stunning D-ranks and killing E-ranks. Her species is loyal and territorial, but they can be very timid otherwise. I want you to take care of her one day."

"What?!" Shibisu whisper-shouted through gritted teeth, afraid that he would startle the fish. "Didn't you just say that she's dangerous?"

"She can protect you." Agni pried his fist open and led him to stretch his arm out again. "Just give her this and she'll know that you're a friend."

Shibisu held his breath when the fish swam close, trying his best to not flinch or take another step back when it opened its jaw, displaying rows of needle sharp teeth that could definitely shred his flesh. Yet his fear never happened, and the fish was surprisingly docile when it nibbled on the pellet.

Despite his initial fear, he could see its appeal. It was affectionate and gentle. Granted, he always had a soft spot for cute things, even if they might be dangerous. Case in point: his team.

Shibisu tried to move his arm a little, since he was no longer as tense, but the sudden move startled the fish, and it suddenly vanished into thin air. Shibisu looked around and found nothing.

Noticing his confusion, Agni explained, "As I said, her species is very timid. They have the ability to conceal themselves with shinsu, so they can be hard to detect without observers."

The fish reappeared behind Agni, swimming near his shoulders, "Ah, there you are." Agni flicked his fingers and pointed to the lighthouse; the fish obediently swam back inside. "I will bring her again the next time we meet, so she can get used to this team."

Shibisu could only nod, knowing that refusal wasn't an option.

Agni walked away and clapped his hands to get the whole team's attention, "That's a wrap for today. A shame no one won my bet, but I hope you learnt something from this."

Endorsi clicked her tongue, "Show off."

Agni ignored her entirely, but his stance was never unguarded, ready to leap in case of sudden attack. Was every Khun raised like that?

"Hm, one more thing…" Agni walked up to Rak. "Crocodile, come with me for a moment."

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#oh look! my first (published) ToG OC and its a fish #i mean. what's A.A without fish amirite #there's actually more to come! saving their introduction on future updates ofc #jokingly said that Auri has body count when this got beta-ed and let's go with that #next part will be another snippet but the update after that will get real spicy and im so looking forward to that #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #khun #koon #khun a.a #khun aguero agnis #shibisu #ship leesoo #rak wraithraiser #rak #endorsi jahard #endorsi jahad #endorsi

[officerjennie]

Fluff starter prompt, omg please fkbfjff

“I think I love you.”

Greedy panda noises please 🥺❤️

This fic is dedicated to a sweet boy named Sunny that I desperately wanted to take home with me

-

“I think I love you.”

Jaskier smooshed his face against the glass, dancing his fingers in the air, watching the large cat within the enclosure stretch from its tail to its large paws, claws digging into the blanket it had just been lounging on. 

He frowned, and lifted his head just enough to squint over at the piece of paper taped to the outside of the little kitty room. His tail and his large paws. Nose back to the glass, Jaskier cooed at the apparently two year old cat, his heart full to bursting as he stretched up to gently bap at the glass where Jaskier’s fingers were dancing.

“Oh, you’re just the sweetest, aren’t you? Such a good boy, the best boy.” Said best boy was also the largest cat Jaskier had ever seen, and according to his nice little blurb he liked cuddles.

Big, warm cuddles. He really never stood a chance.

“Jaskier.”

The exasperation in that tone made Jaskier pout, which really worked in his favor when he turned to Geralt. For maximum effect, he jutted his lip out a little more (he considered a quiver but thought it would be too much), and didn’t have to try that hard to get his eyes to mist.

“His name is Sunny.”

“No.”

“He’s been here for so long, Geralt!” A strategic step sideways covered up the little kitty blurb, and he hid the movement with a wild gesture. “Just- just look at him! Look at that face! Can you really say no to that face?”

Geralt didn’t look at Sunny, his arms crossed, the betta pellets they’d come for in his hand. 

“In and out, Jaskier. We don’t need anything-”

“He needs us, though.” 

“-but the fish food. Have you even owned a cat before?”

Deflating, Jaskier heaved a sigh, turning to stare wistfully at the sweet baby who was now batting around a crinkle toy behind him. “No. My father was allergic, and even after the divorce my mother couldn’t stand them. She’d apparently owned quail once and had a vendetta ever since one killed a few of them.”

“An impulse fish is one thing,” Geralt said, though not unkindly. And he was right, technically, even if Jaskier wasn’t a fan of the logic. 

Didn’t mean Jaskier was really ready to give up. Especially when Sunny meowed at him - Jaskier gasped, and cooed at him again, letting the sweet ginger boy chase his fingers. 

“He has such a tiny voice for such a big, big man. Isn’t he so sweet though?”

Geralt was quiet standing next to him, and Jaskier studiously ignored his judgment, complimenting the newest love of his life like he’d never get the chance to ever again. 

In the midst of their bonding, Geralt leaned down to read Sunny’s bio, dryly saying “been here so long” when he saw Sunny had only been there for three days. He was still reading it when a worker came by at a brisk walk, holding a dripping mop and pushing their frazzled bangs out of their face.

“He’s up for greetings if you want,” they said quickly, stopping just long enough to point at another worker who was fishing out some cherry shrimp for a mother and her small child. “She’s got the keys.”

“We can meet him?” Jaskier was certain the worker was an angel, albeit an angel barely hanging on to their sanity, and he quickly turned his big, wet eyes to Geralt again before he could try to talk him out of it. “Just a quick meet and greet. A cuddle or two. A hug? It couldn’t hurt anything, and he’s probably lonely.”

Geralt gave up in record time, sighing with a shake of his head as he went to fetch the worker with the keys. And Jaskier did his best to not be a sore winner and hid his fist pump. 

In a matter of minutes, they were let into the back, in a small room where the kitties could meet their prospective adopters. Sunny was plopped down with little fanfare, and he stretched himself out again, reaching up a nice scratching post on the white cat tree that took up a good portion of the room. 

Determined to make the most of their short time together, Jaskier picked through a toy box until he found a nice feather wand, and he did his best to get Sunny’s attention. But Sunny only watched the feather for a few seconds, batted at it once, and decided the tall man that was ignoring him was far more interesting. 

Geralt didn’t even flinch when Sunny launched himself at him, climbing up his leg like he was the cat tree. Up he went until he was standing on Geralt’s shoulders, and he let out a soft mew, bonking his head against Geralt’s hard enough that Jaskier heard it.

“Must have a hollow head,” Jaskier said solemnly, coming up next to them to pat Sunny’s side gently. “Orange cats share a brain cell, I’ve heard.”

For a split second, Geralt frowned. His hand went up to steady the large cat that had decided to sit on his shoulder, Sunny’s weight shifting as he licked a paw and started to clean his face.

“He’s not dumb,” Geralt said decisively, and if Jaskier hadn’t known any better he would have said fondly.

Or, maybe he didn’t know better. He squinted at Geralt, who was not looking at him - rather pointedly not looking at him.

“No, no. Of course he’s not dumb.” Jaskier stroked Sunny’s soft fur, letting his tail flop with a thud against Geralt’s back. “I’d hate for anyone to think he was.”

When Sunny started to purr, Geralt’s expression softened, and Jaskier had to bite back a devious grin. 

“Can you imagine misunderstanding such a sweet boy?” He sighed dramatically, scritching Sunny’s chin - and Geralt had to hold onto him to make sure the poor thing didn’t fall right off his shoulder. “I hope he gets picked by someone who would love him, and who wouldn’t ever dream of insulting him.”

“I know what you’re doing.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jaskier lied, but one look at Geralt’s face and he gave up with a full body slump. “Fine. But I’m not wrong, we could give him the best home.”

“We don’t have anything for cats at home.” 

Jaskier opened his mouth to respond, but snapped it shut, narrowing his eyes at Geralt - because that had not been his ‘we’re absolutely not doing this’ tone. And Jaskier was ever an optimist when it came to getting what he wanted.

So he leaned into his boyfriend, arm wrapped around his waist, and pet the sweet kitty who was hard at work making biscuits out of Geralt’s shoulder. 

“Pet store,” he said, catching Geralt’s gaze and flicking his eyes towards the door. “And if we’re confused, we could always ask for help picking out what he’d need. Look, Geralt, he loves you - could you really say no to that face?”

Sunny took that moment to bonk Geralt on the head rather hard, and Jaskier saw the moment Geralt gave in. 

“Fine,” he grumbled, but Jaskier was already pumping the air before he got the word out. “You’re cleaning the cat box.”

“A fair trade for taking such a sweet, good boy home.” Jaskier reached up to scratch both of Sunny’s cheeks, and teared up when the kitty started to lick his hand. He’d never fallen in love so fast in his life and couldn’t wait to set their place up for Sunny - it was going to take a chunk out of his savings but it was absolutely worth it.

Especially when he caught a glimpse of the soft smile Geralt was trying to hide. He wasn’t the only one who’d fallen in love, after all.

#mywriting #geraskier #geralt #jaskier #the witcher #fanfiction

[ladykissingfish]

*Kakuzu and Hidan at a ramen shop*

Kakuzu: Brat, I feel I must reiterate how unnecessary this is. We brought lunch with us. We —

Hidan: Food ration pellets are not “lunch”, you cheap bastard. And if I have to eat one more and call it a fucking “meal” I’ll puke. And anyways what are you bitching about? I’m the one paying, aren’t I?

Kakuzu: Is this going to be like the time you got tired of camping and insisted you’d “pay” for a hotel room, only to get up to the desk and notice you’d “forgotten” your wallet?

Hidan: Nope! *pulls his wallet from his back pocket* I’ve got the cash, I’ve got the appetite, so we’re eating today!

Kakuzu: *sighs* Very well …

*the waitress brings two still-steaming bowls of ramen to them*

Hidan: *picking up his chopsticks* Shit, I could cry this looks so good! *starts rapidly feeding himself*

Kakuzu: *gently unwinds his face covering and starts blowing on his bowl* You could at least wait for it to cool down first, Hidan. And take smaller bites!

Hidan, with a mouthful of noodles: Why? Not like I’m gonna choke to death, is it?

Kakuzu: *taking careful bites of his own food* I guess I’m not that lucky …

Hidan: Come on, asshole … is that any way to talk to your date?

Kakuzu: D-date? This isn’t a date! We’re just having lunch together, like we do more or less every day!

Hidan: Hey, Kakuzu …

Hidan: *puts down his chopsticks and turns on his stool to face Kakuzu*

Hidan, softly: I know I probably get on your nerves a lot. I know a lot of the time you probably hate my guts. And I don’t blame ya. But … shit this is embarrassing but, well, I’m kinda … in love with ya. Not to sound gay or anything but, it’s the truth.

Kakuzu: H-Hidan …

Hidan: And you’re old as shit but you ain’t stupid, and I think you kinda feel the same way. So how about we stop pretending and start bein’ together? And going on more dates and stuff?

Kakuzu: I … don’t know what to say …

Hidan: You need convincin’ I’d be a great boyfriend? Fine. Are you done with your food?

Kakuzu: Yes?

Hidan: Okay. Watch … 

Hidan: *subtly takes a small container out of his pocket, containing a single fat earthworm. he subtly puts the worm at the bottom of Kakuzu’s bowl*

Kakuzu: What the hell are you —

Hidan, loudly: Oi, what the fuck?! Hey, lady!!

*the waitress comes running over* 

Waitress: Yes?

Hidan: *points* Look at his bowl! Is that a specialty on your menu?? He could gave eaten that!!

Waitress, red-faced: I … I’m terribly sorry, sirs! Your meals are on the house, and please, allow me to bring you out a complimentary dessert for the inconvenience?

Hidan: Very well.

*she leaves and Hidan turns back towards Kakuzu*

Hidan: Well? What do you —

Kakuzu: *grabs Hidan’s face and pulls him into a kiss*

Kakuzu: We’re holding hands on the walk home, boyfriend.

#kakuhida #kakuzu x hidan #kakuzu #hidan #naruto #the akatsuki #true love #psychopaths who belong together 😌 #💵🩸

[xallyxcatxs]

Unrelated to fandom but I “impulse” purchased a spicy betta fish a month and a bit ago, and I have become the weird fish person of my circle.

She’s so small, I have had to crush up beta pellets because her mouth is too tiny to eat them whole. I’m trying to be a good fish mom. I got her a six gallon tank a heater and a slow filter. I clean the water and siphons the sand weekly. (Eventually I want to get a slightly bigger tank with live plants for her that I have cycled, because NATURE).

And I’m TRYING not to over feed the baby, even tho she’s convinced she WILL starve to death…

So my sweet fish child, who associates my finger with food and occasionally attempts to bite me…MURDERED a fly 1/3 of her size, and all that was left was the wings and enough of its back to hold them together. I’m lowkey concerned but also impressed.

Side note if anyone has any advice or suggestions on beta fish husbandry, please enter the chat.

#allyxchats #betta fish #aquarium #this is she #allow me to scream into the void

[pangolinheart]

FFXIVWrite 2023 DAY 19 - WEAL (AKA THE GLEANER AND THE FROG PART 2)(MAKE-UP)

The continued adventures of Erenville and F'rhiki (Frog Rhiki).

(No one asked for this, but it's all I could come up with for "weal", as in "a sound, healthy, or prosperous state; well-being". Please enjoy Erenville's attempts to create an environment for his frog-ified friend.)

Rating: General Genre: Fluff, nonsense Characters: Erenville, Warrior of Light (Z'rhiki Irhi) Word Count: 1,334 Content Warnings: None

“There, it is finished.” Erenville said as he gently placed the frog (the Warrior of Light, he had to remind himself) into the habitat he had assembled. The substrate he had managed to source on short notice wasn’t ideal, but it was serviceable. There was a driftwood hide, a shallow dish full of water, ledges and sticks for climbing, various small plants to add interest to the space, and a warming lamp overhead that could be adjusted for optimal brightness and temperature. He was a bit unsure which of these things a frog possessed of a humanoid consciousness would need, so he had procured them all for good measure.

The Warrior of Light looked around the tank, then back to him. She cocked her head.

“I will admit, it is likely quite different from the accommodations you are accustomed to,” he explained, “but this is the sort of environment that is recommended for keeping frogs of your type in domestic or research settings. It has all of the things you will need for the night: soft, damp soil, water, and a place to sleep. I… included some things to climb, in case you become bored, but I must confess, I am unsure what other elements would be beneficial for entertainment purposes. Normal frogs do not require much enrichment, but your mind is a great deal more complex than that of a typical frog. It is possible you will become bored.”

He eyed the frog knowingly. “And your other friends have led me to believe that you are inclined to cause trouble when you are bored. In this, I must ask for your patience. You need only endure for a few short hours. Do you understand? Croak one time for yes, two times for no.” He had elected to adopt Alisaie’s approach for rudimentary communication.

The frog croaked, though shuffled about in the substrate rather dejectedly.

“Good. Now, you must be hungry.” This was the part he had been dreading. He sighed, and plucked up a cricket from a dish in his hand with a small set of tongs, holding it up for her to see. While he imagined many parts of being a frog would be uncomfortable and perhaps demeaning for someone used to a humanoid form, eating insects and mealworms seemed like one of the more difficult adjustments. He did his best to look regretful as he lowered her meal into the tank. “Now, I know you may not find the idea of eating vilekin appealing, but you will need to sustain yourself until a solution is found, and your stomach is not adapted to digest the food you are used to. I may be able to find you some nutritional pellets given time, but in the short term this is the best I can- oh. You are already eating it. That is well, then.” He wasn’t sure whether or not he should be perturbed by her complete lack of hesitation, but he reasoned that there were places in the world where insects and other vilekin were eaten as an alternative source of protein. Or perhaps she was simply very hungry. Either way, it made his evening easier than he had anticipated. He dropped a few more crickets into her enclosure before explaining:

“Now, I am going to eat my own dinner, do some paperwork, and go to bed. In the morning, we can decide what we will do with you during the day.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erenville squinted at the scribbles on the page, tapping the tip of his quill on the ink blotter beside him. “I cannot read this Archon’s handwriting,” He complained to the spectating frog.

There was only so much surface space in the room, so the tank he had procured now took up a sizable portion of his writing desk. She had watched as he sat down with his various request forms and maps to chart the course of his next excursion. He had not anticipated that he would become so self-conscious with her observing him. There was no reason for the feeling; he was merely filling out itineraries and budgets and she was, well, a frog. But the discomfort persisted, so he had taken to idly commenting on his work to her to both ease the discomfort and entertain her.

He picked up the form with his free hand and held it in front of the tank for her to see. “What do you think this is supposed to say?”

“Ribbit.”

“As I thought,” he said, pulling the paper away and setting it back on the desk. “Totally illegible.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Warrior of Light nod in agreement.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was awoken in the morning by the chiming of the small clock at his bedside and the first traces of dawn trickling in past the partially drawn curtain. He sat up, groggily, and reached over to silence the bells. After staring blearily ahead for a minute or two, he rubbed the rest of the sleep out of his eyes and stood up to begin his morning routine.

This familiar ritual eventually led him to the tiny kitchenette, where he set about making himself some morning tea. He plucked up the kettle he had left on the countertop the night before, popped open the lid, and began filling it with water…

And almost dropped it when the kettle croaked loudly and jolted in his hands. Startled, he fumbled the teapot and sent the small amount of water within it sloshing. When he regained a steady grip, he peered inside to see his new friend staring up at him, affronted, skin glistening with moisture.

“What…?” It took his tired thoughts a few seconds to catch up to him, and when they did he found himself both bewildered and annoyed. He reached into the kettle and scooped the Warrior of Light out of it. He held her up to examine her. “How did you find yourself in my teapot? And, if I may add, why?” The frog squeaked, but he found  he was unable to interpret an answer. From the evidence, he could only surmise that at some point in the night she must have escaped her habitat, hopped into the kitchenette, climbed up onto the countertop, and then climbed or leapt into the kettle. Presumably, the jostling of the frog inside it had caused the lid to fall closed, trapping her.

He narrowed his eyes at her, but he couldn’t tell if there was any contrition in her frog-y expression. “You are lucky I did not accidentally boil you alive, my friend.” He scolded as he turned back towards the writing desk.

As he drew close enough to see it, he stopped and groaned. In the light of the growing sunrise, he could see the branch she had used to climb out of the tank…which had evidently been positioned directly over where his inkwell had been sitting, because it appeared she had knocked it over in her escape. The papers and maps on his desk were now covered in black frog-prints from where she had explored. It appeared from the tracks that she had gone back and forth a few times, though whether it was in an effort to locate something, to clear the ink from her feet, or to make some sort or abstract artwork he wasn’t sure. From there, she had jumped to the floor, and had also knocked over the small wastepaper basket beside the desk for good measure. It looked as if she had rifled through its contents, though he couldn’t fathom why she would do so. Scraps of paper and other detritus were strewn about the foot of his desk.

He stared at the mess, then back down at the frog squirming in his hands. “I see you found yourself bored in the night.” He observed, deadpan. He was silent for a moment, then heaved a sigh. “Well, I suppose leaving you alone here during the day is not an option.”

#ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2023 #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #erenville #rhiki tag #auggie writes #i don't know what to tell you fam #this is perhaps the silliest AU i've ever conceived #if no one else is amused by it at least /I/ am

[inactivewattpadauthor]

D'Vorah x Reader: Pets

This one goes out to my baby girl who passed late 2022.

Mama loves you, Sheaky🥺 I miss you every damn day.

She was such a guinea poggers.

Also, this can be considered a sequel for the roommates one shot I did a while ago. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Carefully scrubbing the used knife clean and setting it in the drawer, you looked back at the apple slices you cut with care. Picking up the plate that they neatly rest on, you carried it off to a closed door.

Opening the door, the darkness blinded you only until you switched the light switch upward. Along with the yellow cozy light that brightened the room, you were greeted with almost immediate high-pitched squeaks.

A greeting that always made you smile widely and eager to gift whatever fruit or vegetable you brought with you whenever you entered this specific room.

"Is my little one excited to see me?" You cooed, seeing the excited furball of a potato place her front paws on the door of the barred cage. Clear excitement of you and mostly the food she's expecting.

"Aww, you must be hungry." You fake a sad tone despite you feeding her a celery stick ten minutes prior. As well as filling her food bowl up with pellets nine times a day.

Sitting on the floor, setting the apple slices aside, you opened the door of the cage and gently picked her up and set her on your lap. You grabbed an apple slice and bit half of it for yourself before putting it in her face for her to just snatch it up.

You enjoyed sharing a healthy snack with your guinea pig. It was a nice way to bond.

While she chewed fast on the fruit, she still squeaks with joy, making you feel cheerful as well.

With unnoticed scurrying, your roommate stopped at the open doorway, crawling on all fours like she usually does. "What is that noise?" She says as if she's annoyed with it.

Turning around to face her, she then sees what's in your lap. An idea and assumption springs into the humanoid insect's mind.

"Oh, Y/n, you did not tell this one that you had vermin. A solution this one can give with satisfaction." You see the smug look on her face as she crept towards you, bugged eyes glued on the domesticated rodent.

"D'Vorah, no!" You hugged your guinea pig tight to your being, protectively. You gave her a hostile look, which confuses her.

"Why are you protecting a rat?" She tilts her head out of ignorance.

"She is not a rat. She is a guinea pig. And MY child." You pat the rodent's back softly and coo out the last part.

This makes D'Vorah more confused. "This one believes the term is 'pet'(🤓👆). Since when can humans birth vermin?"

Rolling your e/c orbs, you explained to her. "Yes, she is a pet. I just love her so much I consider her my fur baby."

A bizarre idea came to your mind, but you weren't sure if you should do it. "I can let you hold her for a bit, but I don't want you to hurt her." You say in a genuine tone, still petting the guinea pig.

Bringing up the idea seems to make the infamous creature curious. She sits next to you, the same posture as you, and still looks at the guinea pig. "This one will try. Without releasing posion or else."

You felt you can trust her enough, but before handing your pet to her you briefly stopped.

"She's the only thing I have. Promise?"

"What is this one to you then?!" Offense covered the large critter's face.

"Okay, you're cool too, but- but at least I get to tell her my life problems without being judged!" You make a valid argument point.

"Well, this one is certain if the rodent has the ability to understand your problems, it would judge you as well."

"Okay- you know what? Do you or do you not promise to hurt her?" Your eye twitched.

"This one promises." She holds her shelled hands out to hold the furry potato. You carefully set her down on D'Vorah's hands and watch.

D'Vorah was actually cautious. Holding the animal close to her being and even petting it like you do. It made you a bit giddy.

"This one sees why you emotionally rely on this vermin." D'Vorah comments, handing her back to you.

You set her on the floor so she can exercise a bit. She snatches an apple slice off the plate that sits there and runs off to maybe under the dresser.

"Wanna see this one's pet, or more so, child?" D'vorah asks with hinted enthusiasm.

Before you could even politely reject, you see her stomach open up, something that always made you shiver. She pulls out a giant maggot, covered in slime, to present to you.

"This one adores it, and decides not to eat it. Would you like to hold it?"

"Um, no thanks, I think I'm good-"

She sets it in your arms. You froze up in disgust, not able to move. You felt the cold slimy creature squirm in your arms, and maybe if you were more relaxed, you could compare it to it cuddling in your care.

"It likes you." The mother of this retched thing smiles.

"Getitoff." You wheezed out in a way you don't sound normal at all. Your face shriveled in horror.

Both you and I are pretty sure this is how phobias start.

"But-"

"Get. It. Off."

D'Vorah sees the complete discontent on your face and does as you says, putting her child back into her nest of a stomach.

You stood up oddly, hating the feeling of the slime soaking your clothes and touching your skin. "I'm gonna go shower now." You awkwardly walk out the room, your roommate rolling her eyes at your "overreaction."

The guinea pig waddles back out and over to D'Vorah and sniffs her out of curiosity.

"This one does not envy your relationship with Y/n." Bug lady speaks, softly poking your beloved potato's nose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 posts in one day bc I feel hyped

#mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #mk imagine #mortal kombat imagines #mk headcanons #mortal kombat headcanons #d'vorah x reader #d'vorah #goddesswritings

[cherrywhipped]

free play ❦

(MIZO MID CREW 1)

Reader x Takemichi, Akkun, Yamagishi, Makoto, Takuya

Part 1 & 2 of this story are (1)here and (2)here.

Warnings: swearing, probably plot holes, kisses up ahead 👀

A/n: woohoo!! Choice 1 unlocked :) these will eventually split off into one-shots. Gonna try to put every option out there first before I do the one-on-ones. (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

“Of course I will!!” You were practically glowing.

“Atta baby, let’s go,” Akkun spun on his heels and headed towards one of the drink stations.

“I gotta get some of this FOOD. Didja check out the spread?” Makoto asked you eagerly.

“I haven’t yet!” You replied cheerfully.

“What’ll you have, buttercup?” Takuya asked playfully. You forgot he used to call you that.

“I-I’ll have some water please,” your nerves were picking up again, so you didn’t want to add anything else in the mix.

“Oh c’monnn, you’ve gotta at least try this strawberry sparkling punch,” Takuya insisted. “I’ve had at least 3 cups already and strawberry isn’t even my favorite.”

“Hmm… okay. I’ll try it. Maybe I’ll poke around for something else in a min—” you turned towards the drink pushed in your direction.

“This still your favorite?” Yamagishi asked, one of your favorite drinks in his hand.

“How’d you remember that?? I haven’t had it in forever! Kazushi, that’s so thoughtful of you.” You beamed at him and he blushed ever so slightly. Your eyes lingered on each other until…

“WHOAAA I haven’t seen him be that nice in YEARS. I was convinced Kaz was just an asshole now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” Takemichi teased.

“Oh shut up, Takemichyyy, you’re still a simp.” Yamagishi retorted.

“Wh-hey!! We can at least sit down before everybody comes at me,” Takemichi whined as everyone moved towards a table with drinks and snacks.

—————

“I REMEMBER THAT!!!” Makoto yelled, slamming his hand on the table.

“YOU HAD WELTS ON YOU FOR WEEKS AFTER THAT OH MY GOD-,” you cackled hysterically. You and Makoto bonded over roasting Takemichi, heads thrown back laughing, you exchanged wild looks and flirty touches.

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE HAD A PELLET GUN??” Takemichi squeaked defensively. You were so happy that nothing had changed.

“Takemichi, that’s what you get after trying to spy on Hinata’s mom! That was so bad-,” Akkun face palmed as he laughed.

“I wanted to see what Hina would look like as she ~matured~.” Takemichi raised his eyebrows.

“You idiot! That’s not even how it works… I don’t think?” Takuya chimed in.

“It’s not.” Akkun and Yamagishi said in unison, erupting in laughter directly after.

Tears pricked your eyes as your laughter began to soften. You couldn’t believe how much you missed this bunch. “I really missed you guys.”

“We’ve missed you too, y/n.” Akkun said sweetly. His calm eyes were so inviting, you couldn’t help but want to hold onto him forever.

“Of course we did!” Takuya exclaimed.

“Good to have our prettiest member back,” Yamagishi quipped. Omfg he was on something tonight.

You smiled shyly and attempted to sip your empty drink.

“Y/n, why don’t we go out on the balcony?” Akkun suggested.

“Oiiii, you don’t get to have y/n all to yourself!” Makoto had a playful expression, but his body language suggested that he was serious about it—he wouldn’t let someone else shoot their shot before he got the chance.

At this point, you wondered if something was up. Everything seemed the same in some ways, your bond with this group was very special and lasting, but something seemed… different. The boys were more mature of course, but more bold as well. You decided to do a little test.

“Sheesh, you’re all acting like my boyfriends or something,” you teased. Akkun’s smile immediately dropped. Makoto was avoiding eye contact. Takuya fidgeted nervously. And Yamagishi? He had his head leaned against the back of his chair, eyeing you like you were his prey, then glancing away. Fucking damn, were they seriously after you or something?? Your last hope, Takemichi, was the least reassuring. His crooked smile and pink-dusted cheeks would’ve made you smack him…if it wasn’t making you fall in love with him.

No! What is happening?? These are your friends, and… honestly, so what if they were now becoming your love interests? Was that so wrong? You smiled to yourself and finally spoke, eyes fixed on the ground.

“…you know I can’t choose.” You stated gently. “I wish I didn’t have to, but I know that’s selfish.”

“I mean… how are you supposed to choose if you never even got a taste?” Yamagishi said flatly.

You were genuinely at a loss for words. After a moment of silence and pondering, you voiced your inner thoughts. “I… I’ve had a bit to drink and so have you guys, um, maybe these aren’t true feelings talking…”

“Y/n, stop. I’ll stop you right there. Sorry to be blunt, but everybody here has known for years that you are a fucking catch. Most of us haven’t wanted to fuck up the friendship we had with you, yeah, but the real truth is that we have all been too pussy to just ask you out on a date, damn it.” You almost didn’t realize Akkun was the one talking until you looked up to see his mouth moving. You had no idea he could speak like that.

You stood stunned. Your eyes fell on each of them, one at a time, searching for any signs of deception or dishonesty, but all you saw was the truth. “What… I mean, what do I do with this now? You know I love all of you in your own ways, I MEAN—” you shut your mouth instantly. You did love them, of course you did, but now was not the time to mention that, especially when they were discussing being in love with you. You huffed. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Just, c’mere…” Takemichi said, his arms wide open for you. You cautiously walked over and embraced him.

“You too, Michi?” Your lips grazed his suit as you spoke, clinging to him. His hand came up to press lightly against the back of your head with a subtle nod. You sighed, letting go of Takemichi. “Still want to go to the balcony? Show me where, let’s take a walk.” You requested, eyeing the group.

“Sure, why not,” Makoto answered.

The six of you walked in silence upstairs to the last room on the right, the balcony awaiting through glass double doors branching out from the lounge. It was beautiful and spacious. Two outdoor tables with candles on them and eight chairs. Flower baskets hung from the roof, a soft breeze rustling them every now and then. It was quite the romantic scene.

“Anybody got a lighter?” Takuya broke the silence. Yamagishi pulled one from his suit pocket and handed it to Takuya. He lit the candles and everyone sat down.

“Guys… you don’t have to act so glum. Why don’t we play a game?” You suggested.

“It better not be-” Akkun started.

“-spin the bottle?” Makoto cut him off.

You cackled loudly. “You know that means you boys might end up kissing each other and not me, right?”

“Idk about y’all, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Yamagishi shrugged.

Everybody laughed and began heckling him about ~the risk he was willing to take~.

They ended up deciding to play Rock Paper Scissors for kissing order. Did you agree to this? No. Were you opposed? Not exactly. You were amused at their childish behavior, battling each other just like the good ol’ days.

“You can all kiss me how you like,” you said quietly. Takemichi lost every game. Yamagishi came next to last, Makoto third, Akkun second, and Takuya first. You were nervous and excited. You nodded as a sign you were ready, and Takuya approached you. His movements were calm and slow. You were sitting in your chair, the breeze blowing tiny strands of hair out of your face. Your eyes met Takuya’s, and you closed your eyes as you leaned in. He kissed you on the lips gently, slowly moving against you just like you imagined. It seemed to linger even after he pulled away, leaving your eyes fluttering and lungs empty. You took a deep breath before the next one.

“A-Atsushi,” you whimpered, not having any idea what you were going to say next. He took your hands and knelt down to meet your eyes. When his lips met yours, it was firm and passionate. He licked at your bottom lip with fervor, and you parted your lips for him. His hand came up to brush his thumb against your cheek as he finished up the kiss. It left you dizzy and wanting more.

Who was following that kiss? Makoto. He approached you and took your hands, having you stand up to press your body against his own. The perv, hehe. He guided one of your hands and placed it around his neck. Then, he tilted your chin up slightly, and as you closed your eyes, he pressed his lips to yours. He kissed you like he was savoring every bit of you, tongue tasting you and hands pressing into your back, desperate for more. You felt like you needed to sit down, knees threatening to give out from under you.

Yamagishi was a wildcard. You never knew what stunt he was going to pull, and this kiss was no different. He didn’t touch you at first, simply basking in your presence. Kazushi leaned in, lips grazing your neck, making you jump slightly. He ghosted a trail of kisses up your jawline to meet your lips. It was sensual and playful, just like his personality. The last kiss on the lips was deep, you could tell he poured his heart into it. You shivered at his touch when his hands finally made contact with your skin. He grazed his fingers over your cheeks lightly, cupping your face on one side. You felt like you were melting.

Last but certainly not least, was your dear friend Takemichi. He was sitting in a chair and gestured for you to come over. You approached him cautiously, and he had you sit in his lap, holding his shoulders for support. He placed one hand on your hip, and the other on the back of your head. When he went in to kiss you, his fingers gently tangled themselves in your hair, pulling ever so slightly. You had to stop yourself from moaning into the kiss, his tongue swiping over the top of yours teasingly. You didn’t want any of this to end. When he broke the kiss, your eyes met. You stared at each other for a moment, and then you stood up.

“I-,” you began, “I didn’t know you were all such good kissers.” You stated and began laughing. They laughed with you. You felt comfortable with them, and you knew they wouldn’t pressure you to make a decision just yet. The six of you decided to go back downstairs to get some more drinks and continue chatting (or, arguing over which kiss you enjoyed more), each of them hoping they’d be the one you’d ask to kiss you more.

Oh me, oh my~

#yamamoto takuya #Takuya x reader #akkun x reader #atsushi sendo x reader #takemichi x reader #takemichi fluff #makoto x reader #makoto tokyo rev #yamagishi x reader #yamagishi kazushi #atsushi sendo #hanagaki takemichi x reader #makoto suzuki #free play

[pigeonwhumps]

New toy

Finding Safety masterlist

AMOW March Trope-a-Thon day 2: creepy captor + conditioning + pet whump

Taglist: @littlespacecastle @whumpymirages @flowersarefreetherapy @painful-pooch

Tyrone has a new toy he wants to try out on Aaliyah.

1.2k

CWs: BBU, pet whump, intimate whumper, dehumanisation, self-dehumanisation, non-con, hand-feeding, sensory deprivation, conditioned whumpee, muzzled, treated like an animal

"Open up, pet."

Aaliyah, knelt at her place by Master's feet, opens her mouth obediently. Master picks up a fry and holds it out, letting her eat it from his fingers. She licks the grease off them afterwards, the way he likes, and flutters her eyelashes at him.

"Good girl, Aaliyah," Master purrs, "Very good girl." Aaliyah flushes at the praise, and he chuckles lightly. "Would you like some dessert too?"

Aaliyah bows her head, placing her hands together as if in prayer, supplicating herself for the chance for a little more food (at least, she hopes dessert is food today). Master seems to be in an exceptionally good mood, because he simply smiles, holding out a fork towards her.

"Go on then. Eat it."

Aaliyah leans up and licks the crumbs of chocolate cake and cream off the fork, bowing daintily after she's finished. It's sweet and cloying, and full of flavour. Well. He did say he put a lot of chocolate in.

"That's it for today, pretty thing. We don't want to spoil your figure." He pats her on the head, before getting up and pouring some dry pellets into a metal bowl, water going in another. "Now, I don't fancy going out in this weather, so I want you to feed the mutt. I have some things to do, but when I'm finished I want you ready and waiting in the bedroom. I have a new toy I want to try out."

So that's why he's in such a good mood. She pushes herself to her feet and takes the bowls, heading outside. It's not raining anymore, but the ground is covered in cold, muddy puddles as she splashes towards the kennel. It doesn't have a door and she sees Cass look up miserably as she approaches. He's stretched out fully on his front, his back covered with shiny pink scars, and the new wire muzzle covers the lower half of his face. Aaliyah doesn't think Master ever intends to take the mitts off.

She places the bowls of food and water in front of Cass and unclips the muzzle, stroking his cheek apologetically. He flushes with what she thinks is humiliation, before bending over and taking a slurp of water.

She thinks it's humiliation, anyway. She ponders it as he crunches on the food. If this is the life he's meant for, why does he get humiliated? Why are there things that make her throat catch, and not in a good way?

She shakes her head. She's a pet, it's not her place to wonder. That won't do. She's just here to do Master's bidding.

Once Cass has finished his food, he laps up some more water, then sticks out his chin, allowing Aaliyah to buckle the muzzle back on. She slides a straw through, helping him insert it into his mouth, allowing him to drink while she's not here.

Then she lets him lean his cheek against her hand for a moment. She has to go, but she still has a moment of comfort for Cass.

Back in Master's house she washes her feet carefully, knowing he'll be angry if they're dirty, and heads upstairs to his bedroom, kneeling by the foot of the bed, in her usual sleeping spot. It's only a few minutes before she hears Master's footsteps, and she keeps her head bowed and body steady as he strokes her hair. His hand quickly turns into a strong grip, pulling her head back and up, bending over to give her a bruising kiss. She parts her mouth slightly, allowing his tongue access. When he pulls away he sighs happily.

"You really are perfect, pet. Now get onto the bed and into position two. I want to see you."

Aaliyah obeys, climbing on the bed and onto her knees, butt resting on her ankles. Master smiles.

"Good girl. Now, I have a new toy for you." He reaches behind him into a large bag and pulls out– no.

No.

Her eyes widen at the sight of the leather deprivation hood and it's all she can do not to panic.

"Hey, it's okay, pet. Your handlers aren't here. I know you had it used on you before, but I just want to see how you react, that's all. Nothing like then. And besides, you're my pet. You can handle this, can't you?"

Aaliyah nods at the stern question-stroke-threat at the end. Master really is in a good mood today, to reassure her so much, but he won't stay like this if she doesn't get it together. She sticks her head out, allowing him to attach the leather over her head. Once he's done up the last strap all she has is a small hole to breathe, the smell of leather filling her nose. She leans into Master's touch, desperate for it, as he removes her clothes carefully, then lays her down.

She's grateful that it's only her head, that she can still feel (feel so much more than normal, in fact, without the useless distractions), that Master's being so affectionate with her. She responds eagerly to his touches, feeling a rush of pleasure at each one. Master's so good to her, to let her feel this even without her doing anything for him.

The hood's terrifying. She has no idea where she is when Master's not touching her, and no idea what he's doing at all. She's a pet, she doesn't need to know, but it's still scary. At least Master's being good to her.

After he's prepared her, a luxury she isn't always permitted, he inserts his penis. She hasn't been ordered to stay still like a statue so she doesn't, doing just as Master likes until he comes inside her. He keeps fucking her well past the point of her own pleasure, well past overstimulation, until he's come several more times.

But her own pleasure doesn't matter. She's a pet, for Master's use and pleasure only. Just another hole to fuck, Cass said.

But that's not quite true. No, Master wouldn't be so affectionate if it was. He wouldn't have punished Cass so harshly for saying it. He cares about her, and she's a bad pet for even entertaining another possibility.

Once Master's finished, he removes the hood carefully, brushing her sweaty hair out of her eyes and kissing each eyelid.

"You're so pretty like this. I should make you cry more often. And that was beautiful, pet. You're so responsive like that. Let me clean you up and you can have a few hours sleep before it's time to serve me again."

Aaliyah goes limp in Master's arms as he brings her into the bathroom and starts washing her down with cold water. She's a bit overwhelmed by all the sights and sounds and smells, but she'll be good anyway.

She always tries to be good. She doesn't always manage it, sometimes she has to be punished, but she always, always tries.

#whump #whump writing #amow tropeathon 2023 #captivity #bbu #box babe #box boy #box boy universe #pet whump #intimate whumper #creepy whumper #self dehumanisation #dehumanisation #conditioned whumpee #conditioning #non con #sensory deprivation #hand feeding #muzzle #treated like an animal #sanctuary pigeonwhumps #aaliyah oc #cass oc #tyrone oc #this was longer than it was meant to be huh

[cyncerity]

Hi all! School is starting back up for me tomorrow, so i just wanted to get one more story out before my first day of senior year! i feel old!

anyway, more dads troubles au, now with more characters!! this takes place before the events of Finding Family btw, but i hope you like it!!

tw: dehumanization

It pained Schlatt to go to a pet store of all things to buy things for his son. His son wasn’t a pet, but it’s not like he could convince anyone else of that fact. However, as much as his son liked having a few things his size, like containers and blankets, he weirdly preferred to use human sized things. Schlatt just guessed that that was probably a product of his odd upraising, but he wouldn’t complain. He would rather buy tiny things for his son at Homegoods or Claire’s or Hobby Express or something. However, this time, he wasn’t here for his son.

A few days ago, Tubbo had managed to drag a phone through the doorway (doorway was a loose term, it was more a hole in the wall) of Tommy and Ranboo’s home and take a few pictures of what it looked like, and oh god. It had pained Schlatt and the other humans to see teenagers living in practically trash. The two slept on mats for fucks sake, no blankets or anything. And no matter how much they insisted they didn’t need help, Schlatt felt some form of responsibility to make sure they were well taken care of. Whether that’s because they were his son’s best friends or because they spent practically all of their time at his apartment at this point he didn’t know, but he unfortunately could only find borrower “essentials” at the pet store.

He had checked everywhere else for little things for the boys home (once again, the term home was used loosely), like little lanterns and decorative things, since the only light they had came from cracks in their walls and the only “decorations” they had were scraps that they took from Sapnap and Karl before they were discovered, but the two also needed beds. Schlatt knew from experience that the only normal beds for borrowers were found at pet stores, since none of the dollhouse beds he or Quackity ordered for Tubbo when they first adopted him were apparently comfortable and were mostly for show, which is how Tubbo ended up sleeping on a beanbag, and why he now refused to try sleeping on anything else. At least the beds the pet store sold could be slept on. And, if they weren’t good enough quality wise, he could always add more blankets or bedding, and at least they’d be the right size.

He walked down the aisle of borrower items and picked up the beds, ashamed that he wasn’t the only one in the aisle. A woman was there with a child that couldn’t be much older than 5, who was picking up random items in the aisle as the mom just watched with a satisfied smile. Schlatt scoffed to himself as he walked out of the aisle, knocking over a stack of food bowls only because the sight of such a dehumanizing thing for borrowers was pissing him off. “Oh, excuse me sir!” Schlatt heard as he was tapped on the shoulder, turning to face the mother of the little kid who was now placing what looked like a hampster running wheel in his shopping basket. “My kiddo here just graduated first grade, and we were just looking for a little gift! Would you happen to know where they keep the tinies at?”

Schlatt just stared. Oh no. This kid was actually around 5, and this woman was preparing to give him a person. Letting a toddler have full control over someone else’s life. He looked back behind her and saw the kid run in from another isle holding rabbit pellets and put them in the basket. Oh, no fucking way he was gonna let this happen. “Uh..well, I’ve heard bor- tinies can be a lot of work, have you thought about maybe a fish or something?” But the woman just laughed. “Oh the whole class got fish when they graduated, ours just didn’t make it long. Y’know how fish can be.” She laughed again as Schlatt felt his stomach drop. No, he didn’t, but from what he could tell, this kid was getting a replacement pet for the fish he killed from probably either starvation or negligence. The woman, fully unaware of Schlatt’s inner conflict, continued. “I’ve heard that tinies have better lifespans, and are great with socializing! My baby here can be a bit rough with the other kids on the playground, and I think a tiny would really help!”

“Well, I’m so sorry, I don’t think this store has tinies.” Schlatt said. He didn’t care what he was getting himself into, he refused to let some poor borrower be tortured by this toddler. He’d buy every borrower in this goddamn store if it kept this little shit from getting one. The woman went to speak up again before Schlatt turned away, muttering some lame excuse about trying a puppy or something before speedwalking off. Fuck. Where did they keep the borrowers here? He shoved the beds into his pocket, and he looked through almost every isle before finally reaching the back of the store where he found a giant sign reading “tinies” and another big sign that read “Sale: All Tinies 75% Off!!” Schlatt sighed in relief when he realized the cages were empty, ignoring the implications of that and just hoping that the store just hadn’t found many (or hopefully any) recently. At least, all but one of the cages were. He almost turned to leave before a flash of moving green caught his eye. In the top corner cage, covered by what looked like bedding for a guinea pig or something, one last borrower was hiding, looking starved and tired. He looked older than any borrower Schlatt had ever met, and the flash of green he’d seen came from the almost robe looking thing the borrower was wearing, but what surprised him was his blonde hair and striking blue eyes, giving him an odd feeling of familiarity that he couldn’t quite place. Schlatt looked around and didn’t find any employees to ask about a purchase but, to his horror, the woman and her child where moving closer. In a panic he looked around and noticed the borrowers cage didn’t have a lock. The store probably assumed it wouldn’t attempt an escape from it’s height. And wouldn’t luck have it, there was a ladder nearby.

He quickly dragged the ladder closer, wincing at the screeching it made across the floor. Thankfully, only the borrower seemed to notice. The blonde stood up from where it had been hiding, backing up against the cage until he seemed to notice Schlatt’s lack of store uniform. As Schlatt climbed the ladder, he saw the borrower take a few weary steps forward towards the front of the cage. As Schlatt made it to the top, he lifted the top off the cage and the borrower immediately dropped to the ground, curled in on himself on his knees with his hands over his head. Schlatt just laid his hand flat next to him. “Look, buddy, I’m not gonna grab you, I’m not that kinda guy. But if you don’t get on you’re gonna get bought by a manic toddler and, let me tell you, I saw what they were gonna buy for you, and it’s fucking disgusting. I can help you if you let me get you the fuck outta here.” The borrower looked up, a look of shock on his face, before it quickly changed to a grim determination as he climbed onto Schlatt’s hand. He carefully lifted the borrower up from the tank and held him to his chest as he practically jumped off the ladder. He quickly made his way out of the store, at this point just throwing caution to the wind and shoplifting the beds, too. Why the fuck should he give money to this place, anyway?

He finally made it to his car, placing the borrower into the cup holder that Tubbp had already decked out into another seat of the car. Unsure of what to do now, the two sat in silence for a minute, before the borrower finally spoke up, after analyzing the car. “So, um…do you..have..another borrower? You seem to have a lot of stuff in the car for people like me.” Schlatt just laughed. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, man. I’m part of the minority that see borrowers as people, my son’s one of you. I don’t normally go to stores like that, but it’s not like big retailers sell things for kids like mine. I’m sorry we had to meet like that, I’m Schlatt. You?” And immediately, it seemed like all tension drained out of the car, as the borrower started to laugh and Schlatt saw his shoulders visibly drop. “You have no idea how long it’s been since I was called a borrower, I’m so fucking tired of the word ‘tiny.’” He sighed. “I’m Philza, but you can call me Phil. I get it, mate, my family’s not too normal either.”

That last bit caught Schlatt’s attention. “What do you mean?“ “My sons and my wife. I have two biological, well, now one biological, and one adopted, and I hope to god they aren’t too worried about me. My wife has been taking good care of them, I’m sure, but I worry. It’s been a while since I got taken. But my wife and my adopted son are both human.” Schlatt nodded and tried to keep from prying, but his curiosity got the better of him. “What happened to your son? If you don’t mind me asking of course.” Schlatt said, still caught up on the fact that this poor man had lost one of his kids. He was sure if he ever lost Tubbo he’d barely be able to function. But this guy had a family to get back to, he supposed. He probably had to be strong for them. “Not at all, mate, it’s been a while. I can tell you’re a good guy.” Phil responded, smiling, though his eyes held a deep sorrow that couldn’t fade with age, proving to Schlatt that he was right about the man only really pretending to be ok. “My boy was young when the older of the two did something really stupid at my old colony. I stood up for him, and it got the both of us kicked out, and they kept me from my son. Something about how the colony wasn’t doing great and the more laborers they had, the better. Makes me sick. But lord knows he wouldn’t have listened. He was stubborn, would’ve gotten on great with my wife, plus he had my genes. Wouldn’t have made a good worker anyway.”

Schlatt felt uneasy as he took notice of the borrowers traits again, though in more than he had in the store. Slightly pointed ears, thin tail, slitted eyes and clawed fingers. From what Tubbo had told him about borrower genes or job types or whatever, that meant that this guy was built to be a hunter, with the exception of his ears.

“So..uh…where do you live, then?” Schlatt asked, trying to change the topic to distract himself and Phil especially from the uncomfortable topic. “Down at an apartment complex a few minutes away…” he responded as Schlatt finally began to leave the pet store parking lot. He listened to Phil’s admittedly not great directions (basically Phil describing what he’d seen out the window of a car when his wife had drove him there to move in) for a few minutes before eventually making it back to his own home. “Oh, you live at my apartment! That’s great, man, what are the odds!” Schlatt said, getting out of the car and grabbing the beds he had ‘bought’ earlier before placing a hand out for Phil. Phil barely hesitated before climbing on, making Schlatt smile. “Small world, i guess,” Phil said as they began to walk into the building. “I live on the first floor, so you can drop me off at a nearby vent and i’ll know how to get home.” Schlatt nodded as he slipped Phil into the jacket pocket not containing the small beds and walked in. He nonchalantly made his way to a vent on the ground before kneeling to the ground next to it gently taking Phil out again, doing his best to shield the borrower from view with his body. “This good?” he whispered, still treating his best to keep people from looking his way. “Perfect.” Phil said with a more genuine smile than Schlatt had seen out of him in the admittedly short time he’d known him.

“Great! By the way, im in room 518, if you ever need anything. I know it may be a hassle to get there, but i mean it, man. You ever need supplies or just someone to talk to or anything, i’m open. In fact, here,” Schlatt said, ripping a tag off of one of the borrower beds as he began writing on it, “here’s my number.” Phil took it and smiled, looking up at the human. “Thanks, mate. I may just have to take you up on that, it’d be nice to have someone else who knows how i feel sometimes. Family’s like ours aren’t common, and we haven’t been here long enough to know many people around the apartment yet. And, again, thank you so much, it’s because of you i can see my kids again, i don’t know how to repay you-“

“Don’t worry about it, Phil, just happy i could help.” he said, standing back up. “Take care, alright?” “Will do.” Phil replied, taking the grate off the vent and slipping behind it with a wave. “See you later, Schlatt!!” Schlatt waved back and went to the nearest elevator to his apartment. He had some kids he had to surprise with actual beds.

#btw don’t click on the rest of the tags unless you want spoilers for the au #and by that i mean i have not mentioned a character in this before #cyncerity #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #dad’s troubles au #cynwrites #i have some art that i want to post very badly but i couldn’t post it till i posted this so #here #expect designs for Phil and Fundy tomorrow #also #y’all are smart enough to put this together #i’m not even trying to hide what i’m doing at this point #you can guess every unnamed character mentioned i guarantee it #i’m not trying to be cryptic or have a plot twist #it’s who you think it is lmao #tiny!phil #giant!schlatt #g/t #g/t writing #giant/tiny

[bitchfitch]

i tried to get better pictures of gummy vitamin but she's not interested in holding still. she's settled in and is doing well. she's a lot more confident and zoomy now that she's in a tank with a good amount of cover. it's a little sparsely planted ATM and the plants that are in there aren't liking the newly lowered pH so I'm getting some more to fill in the space a bit. I have a towel over the tank to help her feel less out in the open in the meantime.

she's eating well and eagerly which is a very good sign. she does seem to prefer the flake food over the pellet food though so I'm going to have to keep that in mind going forward.

#honey gourami can handle a wide range but prefer lower pH. so like the 7.2 the tank was at probably would have been fine #but the store had her in water with a 6.8 so thats what i dropped her down to #her throat is fully white/light silver today so Idk what was up with iy being dark grey yesterday #maybe it was just a stress response? #idk. its not something ive seen happen before

[erabundus]

@dualisume &&. said... “  i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be.  ”  

the  water  laps  softly  at  the  shore.  it's  a  familiar,  rhythmic  sound  —  one  that  the  wanderer  has  always  found  COMFORTING.  it  brings  him  back  to  a  simpler  time,  when  he  was  a  simpler  creature.  an  innocent  puppet,  wandering  the  beaches  of  tatarasuna  —  staring  wistfully  across  the  waves  at  the  grandiose  home  of  the  mother  who  ABANDONED  HIM.  wondering  if  she  ever  spared  a  thought  for  the  creation  she  discarded.  wondering  if  there  was  ever  hope  for  a  future  where  she  might  accept  him.  he  knows  now  such  dreams  will  never  come  to  pass  —  and  perhaps  there  was  never  A  CHANCE  to  begin  with.  (  he  knows  now  the  problem  wasn't  his  own  WEAKNESS,  but  that  of  a  hypocritical  god.  )  yet  he  cannot  bring  himself  to  scorn  his  past  self  for  dreaming.

fish  dart  close  to  the  shore,  a  flash  of  shimmering  scales  near  the  water's  surface.  he  purchased  a  modest  bag  of  bait  with  what  little  mora  he  had  to  spare.  pellets;  round,  pale  orange,  carrying  the  faint  aroma  of  sunsettia.  ren  has  NO  INTEREST  in  trying  to  catch  anything  —  rather,  he  tosses  small  handfuls  intermittently  to  the  fish  and  observes  as  they  thrash  about  trying  to  gobble  up  their  fill.  it's  cheap  entertainment,  if  nothing  else.

❝  ...  ❞  he's  well  aware  that  he  has  company.  he  simply  chooses  not  to  speak  until  she  does.  ren  wouldn't  be  BOTHERED  if  she  deigned  never  to  utter  a  single  word  —  he  finds  most  conversations  to  be  varying  shades  of  tedious  by  default.  yet  when  she  does  finally  decide  to  break  the  comfortable  SILENCE,  the  wanderer  must  at  least  commend  her  for  having  the  courtesy  to  say  something  a  little  interesting.  ❝  i'd  rather  be  alone.  ❞  obviously.  he  makes  no  secret  of  that  —  although  it's  THE  WHY  ren  is  oft  more  reticent  to  actually  elaborate  on.  ❝  it's  simpler  that  way.  ultimately,  the  only  one  you  can  truly  rely  on  is  yourself.  ❞  he  can  practically  feel  the  eyes  of  his  own  reflection  drilling  into  him,  yet  chooses  to  ignore  it.  ❝  every  mistake  is  my  fault.  conversely,  so  is  every  success.  adding  other  people  into  the  equation  just  muddles  the  results ...  ❞  he  trails  off,  then  tosses  another  handful  of  bait  into  the  water.  the  fish  splash;  they  make  quite  the  ruckus.

enough  of  a  ruckus  to  nearly  drown  out  his  voice  when  he  says,  ❝  they  all  leave  you  eventually. what's the point?  ❞  and  perhaps  that  is  the  crux  of  the  issue  —  that  the  wanderer  does  not  scorn  CONNECTIONS,  but  fears  them.  the  more  precious  something  is,  the  more  it  hurts  to  lose.

...  though  rather  than  dwell  on  that  familiar  ACHE,  he  merely  holds  out  the  bag  of  fish  food  in  offering.

MISC SENTENCE STARTERS

#dualisume #( ren vc: life is terrible either way. wanna feed a fish?? )

[captain-kuppa]

— Fiddler Crab, the cool dude

A fiddler crab, (also called a calling crab), is a land crab that lives in mud or sand flats near the beach. The reason this crab is called a fiddler crab is because it holds its large cheliped(claw) called major pincher in front of its body and moves it back and forth as if it is playing a fiddle. They also do the peace ✌️ symbol quite a lot, what a buncha hippies!

The male fiddler crab has one huge cheliped and another smaller cheliped. Sometimes it's the right cheliped that's the big one and sometimes it's the left. If a male loses its large cheliped, the smaller one will grow large to replace it. This huge cheliped is so large that it is sometimes bigger than the whole crab. It is this cheliped they wave back and forth. (And hey man, Cap Kuppa loves that shit!!)

Captain apologizes for bad quality of the photo.

The fiddler crab eats by first opening its mouth, then using its maxillipeds (a part of its mouth), it scoops in a small amount of mud or sand, depending on where it lives. Then, it uses its other mouthparts to scrape any food matter (algae, decaying animals or plants) it can from the dirt it has just put into its mouth. After this, it forms the mud or sand into a little pellet, which is called a feeding pellet. It then drops the feeding pellet and starts all over again.

(Plenty of work it is.)

The reason the male fiddler crab has such a big claw is to attract females. Every two weeks during the summer, male fiddler crabs build little round burrows, which are deeper and better than the ones they usually build. The crabs guard these burrows fiercely. Where there are lots of fiddler crabs, there are usually hundreds of these little burrows all lined up only a few inches apart.

Each male fiddler crab stands out in front of his burrow waiting for the females to return from eating. The females then walk around looking at the different burrows. As they walk past, the males wave their big chelipeds back and forth. If a female likes a male or burrow, she will stop and stare. Then the male begins waving his cheliped wildly.

Sometimes the female will run away. However, if she stays, the male will run between her and the burrow, back and forth, again and again. If she has still not run away, she will come closer to the burrow. Then the male will enter the burrow a little and start drumming against the side of the tunnel with his cheliped. If the female likes what she hears, she will go down into the burrow, and they will mate.

Uff, what a gentleman! And they say love is dead. Nah, can ye imagine? Some crazy guy waving his big ass pinchers ya? Believe it or not, it's romantic. 🦀 Humans better be more like us crustacean folk.

#marine biology #crab #crab day #crustacean #decapod #crabs #decapoda #fiddler crab #adhd brain #hyperfixation #pirates #fishblr

[palaquinn]

Tales from the Nightshade Clinic (Part 4)

“You are a madman, you know that right?”

“Bullshit!  I’m an uncertified GENIUS!”

“O.K. genius, explain exactly to me how in the hell your little idea would even work.”

“It’s simple, man.  All I do is carry around an epi-pen and have it ready to go.  I go into Magiannio’s, order the large order of garlic bread, garlic fettuccine, and a big old glass of red wine and have myself a little feast!  As soon as any reaction begins I grab the epi-pen and just shoot myself up and bing bang boom I’m good to go another round!”

Chester let his head fall onto the break room table while Ernst looked about triumphantly.  

“O.K. let's look at the problems here with that idea…” Chester began.

“There are no problems!  It’s flawless!”

“YOU DON’T HAVE CIRCULATING BLOOD ANYMORE YOU ASSHOLE!”

“Wait, what?”

“Blood, as in YOUR blood, is no longer moving around your body Ernst.”

“Oh bullshit.  I can feel my heart beating still!”  Ernst placed their hand over their chest and then paused.  They shifted the hand to the right, and then the left, up, and then down.  Chester looked on passively.

“Fuck I KNOW it’s in there…” Ernst scrabbled for his stethoscope and quickly began scanning for his own heartbeat.

“Seriously man.  How long have you been a vampire now?”

“No one told me my heart would stop!  Why would it stop?!?  Don’t I still move blood around?”  Ernst was on the verge of tears now as he looked up at Chester.  “I can’t have the garlic can I?”

A single blood red tear ran from his eyes as Chester shook his head.

“Just like I can’t have chocolate man.  It sucks, but for your health now you just can’t have it.”

“Man, I just want some pasta! Curse you, oh blight of undeath!”

“Stop being melodramatic.  You seriously didn’t know this stuff?”

“Not like the bastard that turned me gave me an instruction pamphlet afterwards!  I have no God damned clue how this works!”  

Bobbi stuck her head in the door of the break room.  “Y’all.  Calm it down.  We can hear you in the waiting room.”

Chester smiled and pointed at Ernst. “Genius over here is jonesing for pasta and trying to figure out his sudden aversion to garlic.  Any tips for the young and upcoming vampire?”

“Honey.  Please tell me how you’d eat it?  Hell, how you’d digest it?  Your stomach can’t handle material anymore.”

Ernst stood up looking shell-shocked “YOU MEAN I CAN’T EAT EITHER?!?”

Bobbi sighed, then looked down at the floor, shaking her head.  “You can try,” she offered.  “But you’ll throw it back up in about an hour.  Your body doesn’t…it can’t hold solid food anymore, sweetie.  Just can’t.”

“Yeah you’ll up-chuck it all like an owl pellet.” Chester added helpfully.

“Or a hairball.”

“Why do you guys know more about being a vampire than I do?!” Ernst wailed.  Chester shrugged and pointed at his medical badge for the clinic. 

“I have more hours here than you do.  I’ve seen more patients.  Sorry man.”

Giving up Ernst collapsed into his chair and buried his head in his arms.

“I just want some garlic bread man…”  

Bobbi crooked her finger at Chester, drawing him out into the hall, and bent down to whisper as quietly as she could into his ear.  “Have you told him his dick won’t work right yet?”

“Nope.” Chester grinned. “I think he’ll figure it out come date night.”

“Sure as hell above my pay grade,” Bobbi said, and sauntered back towards the waiting room.

#Original characters #Original wirting #Nightshade clinic #I love playing with @marblesarelost #can't help being a wiseass

[weepingwitch]

we wake pickle up with the "good morning sweet birdie" song, which quickly transitions into the "it's poopy poopy poopy poopy poopy time" song and dance as I hold her over the trash can, before switching back to the "good morning birdie princess" song where we look out the window and assess the state of the weather, walk over and comment on her dry pellets, and end with a climactic "do I see? can it be? birdie beeeeeans??" finale as I dramatically look at her food bowl and am shocked and delighted to find her bean and rice mixture i prepared before waking her up, and then she does a big eye dilate of excitement and flies from my hand to her food bowl

#to clarify this is me singing to her