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#shit I say in session
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Transcript -
Gabriel : *heavy breathing and grunting* Bastard. 
Useless bucket of bolts. Yeah, you better run!
Load back to your- Ah shit, that was hard. Load back to your little checkpoint.
Yeah, go ahead. Go P rank the other levels. 
Oh… I’m sorry. Can-can-can I? Excuse me, can I help you?
Columbo : Oh, uh, hi there. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.
Uh, I’m looking for somebody. 
Uh, Gabriel is it? Is that you? Is that who I’m lookin for?
Listen, I just gotta say, you did an amazing job uh… Fighting off that uh. 
What’d ya-what’d ya call it?
Uh, you called it a… 
Gabriel : A mere object?
Columbo : That’s right. A mere object. 
Phenomenal work. 
I gotta tell ya. Robots, I don’t trust em myself. 
Ya know, I had-I had this one episode where uh, there was this robot named Rob and uh-
Gabriel : Uh, yes. 
That’s very fascinating, but could you perhaps get on with your introduction? 
Columbo : Uh, certainly. So I’m, uh, I’m lieutenant Columbo. Uh, I’m with the LAPD. Uh, I'm in the homicide department. 
Gabriel : Homicide? You can’t kill a machine. 
Columbo : No no no! Of course not. But um… Well… Ya can certainly love one.
Gabriel : D-d-d-detective I- I don’t- I don’t know what you’re implying there with that statement!
As you can tell I… Despise machines and wouldn’t think about doing so- Loving them, I mean.
Columbo : Yes, of course uh. Absolutely, it’s completely unthinkable. 
Except, well. While I was- while I was over here and I opened this door and uh fourteen- fourteen V1 body pillows fell out. Along with a buncha the plushies. 
Uh, and I just can’t imagine how ya- how ya happened upon something like that by accident.
It’s a little ridiculous! Uh, frankly.
Gabriel : Uh, no no no, listen.  
Detective. I can explain, okay? 
Those belong to- uh! That guy over there! 
*Filth-like scream*
Gabriel : Yeah! A real freak! 
Some kinda pervert. I don’t know why we keep him around.
But uh, I-I have nothing to do with it. 
Columbo : Well, ya see, I would believe- I would believe that, but uh. 
It’s just that- Well we had the boys at the lab run these pillows and we found your cum- We found your DNA all over em, uh.
You’re-You’re under arrest, I’m killing you.
Gabriel : K-hah. Kill me? *laughs*
Oh detective. 
Columbo : Oh. Aw fuck.
Gabriel : I’m afraid you’ve made a grave mistake. 
Because, in fact… What is going to happen instead…
Is actually what I’m gonna- AHHHG MOTHERFUCKER
I’LL FUCKIN KILL YOU
SON OF A BITCH 
AHHG YOU BASTARD
I’LL RIP YOU APART 
PIECE OF SHIT
YOU FUCK
ASSHOLE
BITCH
*Grunting* 
Oh Shit. 
Oh. What have I done? 
V1 : Bro, tell me you didn’t just kill a fucking cop.
Gabriel : The law will be here any second now… 
Machine, flush the drugs.
V1 : No way, bro. Let’s smoke that.
Gabriel : All of it?!?
Hm… One last ride…
Well, alright.
*coughing his lungs out*
V1 : No Gabriel, holding it in doesn’t do anything!
*Gabriel continues to cough his lungs out*
End of transcription
Audio source part 1
Audio source part 2
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padfootastic · 10 months
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it’s funny that people write remus as this badass who’s almost rolling his own cigarettes and smoking joints in the common room or wtv when that guy gives me the exact vibe as those kids in school/college who would fake cough when walking past someone smoking while making full eye contact.
or, the scared kid who’s terrified of even being near smoker because they were a sickly child and they don’t want their lungs to shrivel and die + they’re terrified of their mom
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shorthaltsjester · 6 months
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god i cannot express how impressed in general i am with the storytelling that cr is doing with candela obscura but what really strikes me is how evident it is that the storytelling they do is defined by the hearts of those who are putting it together rather than adhering to a specific idea or image of a given story that they want to uphold. there is such a stark difference between the tones of chapter one and chapter two (to the fault of neither, i’ve enjoyed them both immensely because they both happen to hit parts of the supernatural-horror genre that I am so deeply fond of and so happy to see in a real play medium).
there’s the obvious difference in gming styles, matt has fantasy running through his veins and that’s evident in the way that chapter one ends up having a tone akin to something like the scarier episodes of buffy the vampire slayer. spenser outright references mike flanagan in his pre-interview thing and good grief is that so so evident in his narration and the way he emphasizes the themes emerging in the story in the environment of the world they journey through and choices like the letter from sean’s mother that subvert the audiences ability to rely on a character’s perception.
but the energy the groups of players bring to the storytelling is obviously also so important, too. like, even just looking at the groups prior to watching each I probably could’ve guessed which might’ve had a more lighthearted tone. the combination of ashley, anjali, and robbie already would be one i’d guess a more warm/goofy vibe for (not to say they can’t be serious and dramatic, but the tone of the seriousness is still warm and the world that prompts them towards drama likewise feels warm) and laura, despite her propensity for goofs, does tend to be a chameleon with group make ups. likewise i think we all had a certain (affectionate) fear™ when it was revealed that marisha, brennan, luis, and travis would be reuniting in another short form story and that has certainly held up and been incredibly bolstered by zehra’s absolute commitment and immersion into the story (constantly fucking blown away that this is her first real play she’s incredible).
this is all just to say as someone deeply interested in digital storytelling, i am so so enamoured by cr’s commitment to following their own desires as humans telling stories to one another while adhering to the requirements they have as a company. and also if you haven’t you should watch candela obscura, especially now that spooky season is here.
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there are so many things im not normal about in this finale but i think the thing thats making me the most feral is grians 'she's dead scar' 'you won' in chat, i am chewing and clawing and biting and-
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starrysharks · 5 months
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writing fun type cringe where characters say shit like 'oh my stars!' and 'the orbit of our friendship will never end!' is easy. writing edgy type cringe where characters say shit like 'the blood i want on my hands? whoever has my own blood on theirs, obviously.' and 'i may have dug up that body of yours, but i haven't spilled a drop of your blood... yet.' is the real challenge... it's hard being a #CRINGEWRITER.... tch.... you wouldn't get it....
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rapidhighway · 3 months
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stuckinapril · 6 months
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i really am the kind of bitch who loves reading textbooks huh
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cometrose · 19 days
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"Silk Flowers grow in pairs on small red bushes"
Other archon having twins
Zhobgli is suspicious
(Plus the god of eternity saying his story is not yet over)
“~twin where have you been~”
it’s still pretty interesting that Zhongli doesn’t have a ‘twin’
it is very clear one of the main themes of genshin is family especially between that of siblings (twins)
the traveler is the twin and all of the archons -the main characters of their respective regions have “twins”.
Venti has the nameless bard, Ei and Makoto, Nahida and Rukkhadevata, Furina and Focalors. These are characters that look identical but live very different lives.
A core part of each archon is their relationship with their respective twin. Ei struggled to move on after Makoto died, Rukkha was everything Nahida dreamed of being, Focalors made Furina play a part for 500 years. I am unsure of the dynamic of Venti and his bard but it’s pretty easy to assume he gave his life great meaning and considering he looks just like him he never could move or wanted to forget what he looked like.
So the fact Zhongli doesn’t have anybody with that kind of connection is really odd lol. I've complained so many times like “Zhongli!! where is your silly clone!” and he refuses to answer my calls. Rex Lapis is represented by silk flowers but they grow in pairs but where is Rex Lapis’ pair? Where is the moon to his beautiful sun???
Some people argue a more metaphorical twin for Zhongli is Rex Lapis/the Exuvia. The point of the Liyue archon quest was Zhongli stepping down from a role he has had for thousands of years and considering the way he talks about Rex Lapis/geo archon (he always refers to him in third person) I believe Zhongli sees him as a separate person entirely. So losing Rex Lapis was like losing his twin. Casting his exuvia aka body double on a crowd of people and burying Rex Lapis was Zhongli’s conclusion with his “twin”. He ended his reign and made peace with his life.
But at the same time I feel that interpretation is so ehhhh. Like all of the twins we’ve seen were their own person with their own thoughts and feelings. Like yeah furina and focalors were once the same person but that was no longer the case when focalors brought out the scissors and said act woman.
Let’s get venti and zhongli out of the way cause they are a little weird from the rest of the seven but we’ve never met “Rex Lapis” and then he doesn’t have a human form like the rest of them. We have talked or at least heard the voices of the “other twin” . We met rukkha, we heard makoto and neuvi let us see focalors.
A big part of the archons is their relationship with their other half but Zhongli’s stories most always focus on someone else-a different god a different entity there is just so little of what we know about him comes from his own mouth.
Besides when you look at the visual symbolism then all the archons are represented by the moon and shadows. They live in the shadows of the "twin" if almost haunted by them. They cannot live up to their glory or they are forced to be someone they are not. These 'twins' are the reason for our archon's (hell even the traveler's) existence and journey, it is why they continue forward until they eventually find new meaning in life.
However Morax is always represented by the sun and light, and you could argue that Zhongli is the moon to Rex Lapis’ sun but if you look as his symbols -his golden eyes, the golden light he uses to save xiao and his interactions with the people of Liyue he still holds that warmth.
Next the big revelation for Zhongli was his relationship with Liyue itself, not himself. We could argue that the existence of "Rex Lapis, The Geo Archon" was intertwined with that relationship but Zhongli's narrative is stepping down and taking his hands off Liyue not any personal struggle. If Liyue had failed his test he would've remained the geo archon for the foreseeable future.
That means, Liyue itself is more of his twin, it is something that plays a huge role in his identity and leaving it behind and moving forward is the core of his arc. It is Liyue that made Zhongli play the part of the geo archon, it is Liyue that made him turn on friend or foe if they were are threat, Liyue and its people are the motivation for everything Rex Lapis did. Morax’s love for his people defined every action that he did as the geo archon.
Long story short ehh if push comes to shove I can accept Zhongli's dragon clone as his twin but I would also argue against it because it doesn’t hold thematic weight that the other twins do!
In the end, we can still safely assume that zhongli’s twin has gone awol but then who are they!!! Each archon has a pair that is meant to parallel the relationship between our travelers Aether and Lumine but where is such a twin???
I've talked so much about Zhongli about everything but Ei mentions in her voice lines that she believes his story isn't anywhere finished. She even talks about him in Zhongli's teaser way back in 2020, "in his long life he has met countless people and shall meet countless more still. As they say: waters change course but mountains move not". Its kind of neat the god of eternity says your story isn't over
I may be a delusional zhongli stan but I don't think it is farfetched to say he is veryyy suspicious. We don't know his true form, we don't know the truth of his contracts, we don't know if he's hiding a twin, and the goddess of eternity herself believes his journey will continue forward.
Could he be missing a twin because he's not from Teyvat? What if he lost his counterpart a long time ago? What if we have simply not met Zhongli's twin and the two of them are separated from each other much like the traveler? I always believed Zhongli kind of crashed into Teyvat like a meteor or shooting star and that's why he's kind of weird but it could be possible that Zhongli's counterpart is just not here either long dead or with a different destiny.
Fun fact to add to Zhongli’s weirdness; Did you know Zhongli and Neuvillette are the only playable characters whose constellations are different from their character quest? Zhongli's constellation is Lapis Dei but his story quest is Historia Antiqua, much like Neuvillette's constellation is Leviathan Judicator but his story quest is called Diluvies. Which is weird cause Venti has the same constellation as Zhongli (Carmen Dei) but Venti's quests line up. Like is it a dragon thing but why?
Then most of the original archons croaked during the cataclysm and Venti went into a coma. How did Zhongli get out of the damn thing unscathed? Why didn't he lose his twin or die and shit?
I know in my soul Zhongli is hiding the secrets of the world in that pretty little head of his. He's just a bum and refuses to share it with the crowd.
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cheddertm · 6 months
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Chip: your bounty is only higher bc of your dad
Jay with the biggest grin ever: my dad hates me
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thedeafprophet · 2 months
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i get so sad when i see people feel like the need to justify why they like certain characters, but being relativly recently in a space with people just going off on how weird they find people liking x character and being generally judgmental over it... i do get why that defensiviness comes in.
people can do whatever they want forever, and that includes liking characters even if you 'dont get it'. people shouldnt need to have to justify liking or disliking any character (which tbf is a behaviour i have to check myself on sometimes too)
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my-current-obsession · 9 months
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Me, delusional, foaming at the mouth:
ISH ROUTE??? POTENTIAL ISH ROUTE? PLEASE?
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spotsupstuff · 7 months
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What was boreas first interaction with zephyr like?
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"Hopefully that will work..."
swift, to say the least
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uselessgaywhovian · 5 months
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how to bring up to your dungeon master that your character might be better if she got railed
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ifyougoillfollow · 1 year
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the thing to remember about Kayama Nemuri AKA Midnight is that she is, above all, a Freak.
she may be a good, caring person, a solid pro hero and teacher, and an amazing friend, but before she is any of that, she is a giant, unapologetic kinky Weirdo, and also kind of a bitch.
this is the only thing that saves her from being your standard, run-of-the-mill Mom Friend/Big Sis female character trope. yes, being the mom friend/big sis to the rooftop boys is an important part of her characterization - and make no mistake, i adore that aspect of her - but it is not the only part of her. if it was, she wouldn't be nearly as interesting in my honest (and correct) opinion.
so will she look after those boys? of course she will, if she must. will she do it without also being pushy, kinda mean, and/or real fucking weird about it? forget about it. where's the fun in that?
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in 2024 I wanna stop hearing about betterhelp
#elise's posts#SO many youtubers etc I like are promoting this shit#fyi for those who don't know it's a REALLY unethical business trying to take advantage of the mentally ill#and before you say 'but how else am I meant to find a therapist that does online sessions'#post-pandemic most therapists offer this#and if you want the whole 'I can text my therapist for therapy anytime 24/7' thing...#sorry I know it might sound useful but it's SUPER bad for both your own mental health and your therapist's#sorry but therapists are not meant to be there for you 24/7#that's not their job and it's really unhelpful for YOU to become dependant on a 24/7 therapist#betterhelp do not vet their therapists thoroughly#and some people say they have been evangelised to on betterhelp by preachers who ask the algorithm to assign them queer and atheist clients#many reputable therapists state that it's a terrible business model promoting unhealthy practices to patients#it claims to be the cheapest option but it's more expensive than the most expensive therapist I've ever had (I'm in the UK)#and significantly more expensive than the cheapest who was still good and probably more qualified than some people on betterhelp#you pay extra for the middleman#(being allocated a therapist you didn't choose and vet yourself isn't great anyway imo surely you want agency in this huge decision?)#and I'm sorry but pride counselling is a branch of the same company#please just look for therapists that specialise in your needs through a regulatory model and get in touch with them directly#not all of them have waitlists and tbh if every therapist on betterhelp is available whenever what does that say about them
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ineffably-ryuu · 2 years
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Do you think the Corinthian ever accidentally targeted someone with fake eyeballs? Went for his dramatic kill and POP out rolled a pair of glass orbs a la Pirates of the Caribbean style, following him and the poor victim just sitting in silence for a couple minutes before deciding to split and never speak of this again.
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