Look. I love my husband. I do. But the next time he tells me to "Calm down and don't be a drama queen, Brock." I'm going to stab him in the eyeball with a fork and tell him next time bring me the damn meatballs or the next balls getting stabbed is his own.
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Kamala: Sam... why did you attempt to commit arson?!
Me: It was a crime of passion.
Kamala: IT WAS A DUNKIN DONUTS!
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@annatar-lord-of-memes
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I don’t know who needs to hear this today but: I’m not a bird!!
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Try and change my mind hoes
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kicks down the door
WHERE IS EVERYONE THIS PLACE HAS BEEN QUIET LONG ENOUGH
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A recounting of my last meeting before vacation:
Me, to Thranduil: Why are you an elf?
Bilbo: We’ve been over this, you can’t just ask people why they’re elves
Thranduil: *Still an elf*
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The prince wasn't in any danger here. - Celebrimbor
I did not make the decision to bring him home, but I would hesitate to trust you with my prince. And I would never trust Annatar with anything.
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*Sitting on the city wall sketching the Pelennor* - F
approaches her and leans against the wall
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Where’s the kid?
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I’m reading through inquiries and I got one from @2nd-meme-in-command-jack-rollins asking if I was a sadist.
Jack, that’s not an appropriate thing to ask on a medical inquiry form.
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There are some days when I'm glad I know first-aid and CPR. And then there are some days in which I'm glad I know first-aid and CPR, so I can strangle a teammate.
Sometimes, it's the same day.
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Fun Fact
The Paw Patrol was originally supposed to be about a groups a superhero cats but the title Pussy Patrol was already taken
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Status Update:
Currently wishing I still had a body
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Other than my family, I’m beginning to think @faramirsonofdenethor is the only valid person. Well, at least, the only valid human. He is a good man, and I am certain he doesn’t think I am a bird.
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Has this been done before?
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