#single for life

[littleprincessfawn]

I felt very sad yesterday but today is a new day and I am feeling much more positive and at peace. I want to lose weight but I don't hate myself. I have leukemia but I'm not gonna die any day soon.

I do still feel that the likelihood now is that I will be single for the rest of my life, which is a harsh prospect at 37... but yesterday I realised there is basically no way anyone, male, female, non-binary etc, will want to start dating me while I have leukemia, it's just 'too much'. And with the leukemia it will never be 'cured' all I can hope for is remission. I do think people who's partners get leukemia would stick by them but I just don't think any new relationships could happen for me. And that makes me sad... because I really wanted to find someone who would love me as loyally as I love them...

But! No point dwelling on something I have no control over! So instead I'll accept that romantic love is over for me, but all the other kinds of love: friendship, family, children, pets - those are still available to me and a huge blessing for me. So I will focus on giving my love in platonic ways out into the world.

I can still daydream about romantic love, but I now know it's just that, a sweet dream that will never be. And I'll be okay.

Because I have myself. And I will build a beautiful life. And I will be love and I will be hope. I will help people and care for myself as well. Today I'm going to have a day spa day. I will help my child with their game design and game coding. I will eat healthy food to nourish my body. I will take the 3rd dose of my life saving medicine. I will pat my pet kitty. I will live.

#journal #giving up on love #leukemia #leukaemia #personal #cancer survivor #chronic myeloid leukemia #daydream #single #single for life #hopesparks #platonic love

[tyrannus555]

Barbie movie

I don’t care about women anymore. I’m giving up. Yes, I’m an incel...blah, blah, blah. I’ve never been in a relationship in my life so who cares. So when women ask for help I’m ignoring them so I don’t go to jail, plus they want to be victims so enjoy your victim medals. I don’t care about women anymore.

#barbie #I don't care about women #mgtow #single for life

[inspired-randomness]

Warning for all who know me: I am in a very dark place right now. Please, for your own mental or physical health, be careful how you approach me.

#me #impossible love #her #depression #relationships #darkness #anger #forever alone #single for life

[lyon-amore]

My mother told me not long ago that I hope one day I find a Jake 😌

But then I realized something...

The guy spends all his time hiding locked up who knows where and I'm very homemade, so....

Either they kidnap a relative of his And they sends their number to someone they knows, or my Jake and I will never meet, jsjsjsjsjsjsjfjkwnrkendkfkkd!!!!

#mother things #Things of a girl who doesn't know how to socialize #single for life #😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #duskwood #duskwood jake

[venomousgirl17]

I hate how my brain builds futures with people when I like them. It doesn’t matter how short of a time it’s been. If I enjoy their company…I just start imagining all of these possibilities and activities and a future I can have with them. And every time they leave or change their mind about me or disappear it all comes crumbling down like a toddler crashing through your tower of blocks.

And that feeling hurts. It hurts so dang bad because all those fictional good times are ripped away before they happen and you’re left feeling foolish for hoping. For thinking it was something that would last.

#my heart hurts #forever single #single for life #building fictional futures #there can be no true despair without hope

[lady-behind-the-camera]

Passenger seat.

My passenger seat has a place for you, only you.

My passenger seat was once filled with your body.

My passenger seat held your laughter, your sleepiness, your adventurous curiosity.

My passenger seat once held one of the people I could be myself around.

My passenger seat, I look over at it and wish you were there. I wish I could hear your laughter again, see your eyes get bigger because of beautiful scenery. I want to see your pretty little head sleeping peacefully in the passenger seat.

My passenger seat briefly held a moment of time where you and I shared a moment. And the thoughts that ran through my head, ugh I hate being a hopeless romantic.

I saw you in my passenger seat and I wanted nothing more than to just drive. Drive with no destination. I wanted to see your hair fly, whisper with the wind. I wanted to see the sunset behind an alluring being. So delicate, so charming of what you are. A genuine soul. A person with pure intentions.

My passenger seat holds onto a piece of you. A piece of you that I’ll remember.

My passenger seat is empty now…

The destination is no more, you were the destination. You’re not around, what’s the point. My passenger seat is empty. We want you back, I want you back. I want the destination to be you again.

Until then, my passenger seat is empty…

#lesbian #gay girl #queer girl #single #love #looking for love #selfie #single for life #bisexual #i want you #gay #i love you #peaceandlove #what is love #confused #looking for her #love is love #selfiecentral #selfienation #sexy

[rainydinosaurnerd]

Relationships will forever give me the ick regardless of whom it's with like I just cringed after saying sorry to my sister. It was not a legitimate sorry but kinda, I mean I just talked to her this afternoon after we fought last night and she didn't bring that up like it never happened in the first place afterwards I cringeed at my thankfulness. That's why I am not in a relationship right now. No regrets though.

#single for life #single forever #single #this is cringy #i'm cringing #so cringy #cringe #relationships #no regrets

[noottoodaaysatan]

I need to stop falling for people more than 5 years older than me. All they see when they look at me is a child😭. Which I’m not, I’m 23 but there’s a huge difference in lifestyles from 23 to 33 (my current crush is 10 years older🙃). Also I have a really bad habit of developing feelings for someone I’m in a budding friendship with and then finding out they’re talking to or already dating someone🙄.

#help #I like older women #single for life

[depressedteenatthego]

I don't know how many people go through this but I can't seem to have any crushes or have feelings for anyone. I'm in my early 20s and I've never been in a relationship, not even been kissed or helped hands romantically. I've have a few crushes in school....1 or 2 of them.

Is it a normal thing? Like having no feelings or crushes on people? Not having much sexual needs but a will to be in a relationship but can't get in one cause u don't like anyone and no one likes you.

Also the thing is I'm actually aware that I haven't had crushes in a few years but what also hurts is that no one likes me and I can't have a chance to even open my heart to someone. I want to be loved but then you think if you are worth loving or if you are worthy at all.

Sorry I'm just saying bullshit now.

#not worth it #single for life #single #no relationship #no crush #crush #romantic #want to be loved #why cant i be normal

[littleprincessfawn]

Broken Girl Journal - 1.4.24

Just spent the morning sitting at the toilet of my mum's bathroom retching and throwing up. Have asked if my ex could please come pick me up. She's agreed but he's not allowed in her house which is understandable. I'm just too ill from this leukemia medication. I hate that I wrecked myself so much for this holiday. And one brother only stayed a night and another didn't come up at all, if I'd had some help with my son it would have been doable. No one understands just how seriously sick I am.

(big sad angry rant under the cut)

My kid wants me to do a pool noodle fight with him in the backyard and I can't even stand up how the hell am I meant to do this. I want someone, I want a family, I want friends, I want people that will help me through this, I want people that will take care of my son while I'm too ill to. He keeps having to not do any of the things he wants because I'm too sick. It's not FAIR on him, he should get to have a pool noodle fight in the backyard. I wanted to have other kids. I wanted to have a partner.

I have to be everything and I can't and it's messed up. I just want someone to love me enough to love my son. To make my son a priority. To realize he is important and needs help.

I'm so sick, I feel absolutely awful. I just want to rest. My mum asked if my ex could help my son and he does but I don't want him in my life I don't want him as my only support and help, plus most of the time he just ignores him and plays games on his computer and my son still comes in to me because he wants human contact and I don't blame him.

I just want to be at home in my own bed. I just want these feelings of guilt over my son's wellbeing to stop.

Deep down... I feel angry. I'm so furious. I don't know who at, the world maybe, but really it should be at myself. I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't have a stepchild or another child. I have failed to build a family for my son. I have failed to be worthy of love and commitment. I see other people who have kids but still manage to find new life partners and be happy and I just feel this deep anguish and self-hatred because why do THEY deserve to be loved and begin a new life, when I'm left stuck in the wreckage of my old one. Why don't I deserve love? Why do I deserve to be in the situation I'm in, with a sex offender in my house, trading my sanity/safety for survival. Everything is disgusting and I hate myself so much. I hate how deficient I am.

I know I need to work on myself and improve myself. But I feel so sick. I just want to sleep and rest and treat my body gently while I fight this leukemia. I want to treat myself gently.

But I feel like I don't deserve gentleness or kindness. If I can't be loved then what's the point of even trying. I have so much strong love within me. And part of me is so broken, I'm starting to feel like no one deserves my love, I'm starting to hate the world, to hate people, to hate anyone who comes into my life and pretends they want me.

I hate that I have leukemia too. I'm full of hatred and pain. But I try to keep a cute exterior shell.

I could be so good, if I was given the right environment, if I was as lucky as others are. Other people just are loved for who they are. I hate myself for not being enough, or for being too much, or whatever it is. I hate myself for being unable to be loved.

#self hate #journal #personal #journal entry #vent post #tw vent #cancer #leukemia #chronic myeloid leukemia #single mom #single mum #unloveable #unloved #single for life #single #broken girl #broken #domestic abuse #im in hell #personal rant #leukaemia #medical post

[ibtisams]

The global reaction to Aaron Bushnell’s self immolation has been very jarring. I understand how powerful and scary it is to witness such a young man set himself on fire while screaming for a free Palestine, but to now see comments like “his death will not be in vain” and “the video will haunt me forever” is very strange considering the depravity of the videos we have been seeing coming out of Gaza for 4 months. It seems like people are now using Aaron as the “perfect martyr” of Palestine that we can put all of our efforts into celebrating as if there has not been 30,000+ Palestinian martyrs that we have been begging you to acknowledge

#this is inspired by log6s post and the fact that the first video on my fyp was about Aaron and the comment section rubbed me the wrong way #and I really really hope it’s clear that I am in no way diminishing Aaron Bushnell and what he did #his martyrdom will stay with me for the rest of my life but so will the martyrdom of every single Palestinian #this is not very well said but you get it #🦢

[inspired-randomness]

They keep joking around and telling me to make a move on you, but they don't know that I've been dreaming about you since the day we've met. The only problem is that I know my worth...

...and you deserve better.

#her #living alone #alone with my thoughts #relationships #single for life

[madison-of-a-bitch]

me seeing a straight couple post: i will put my head in a blender

#big mood #mood #funny #gen z #gen z funny #gen z culture #straight people #straight culture #straight men #relationship #relationships #single for life #alone #leave me alone #leave me the fuck alone

[lady-behind-the-camera]

Been a while.

I’ve been thinking about you nonstop lately..

You’ve been in every thought.

In every one of my favorite songs.

In every thing exciting.

In the moments where I was feeling down.

You’ve been running around my heart like it’s a marathon.

You’ve been in moon, the sun rises, the sunsets.

It’s been awhile since we’ve last spoken.

It’s been awhile since we’ve last seen each other.

If I were see you again, my heart will literally shatter.

I’ll end up playing clean up with the pieces.

I wish I could say I’ve moved on, but when you’re running through my mind, it’s hard to.

There is nobody like you.

There is nobody as soft as you.

There’s nobody as smart as you.

There’s nobody who’s smile will melt my heart like yours.

There’s nobody quite like you, and I think that’s what I really fell for.

You denied me and then again you did things to me.

You played hard to get but intentionally made me jealous.

You and I played each other.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written you… here I am…

#lesbian #gay girl #queer girl #single #love #looking for love #selfie #single for life #bisexual #i want you #gay #i love you #peaceandlove #what is love #confused #looking for her #love is love

[venomousgirl17]

I truly think I must have picked up some sort of curse in my lifetime that means I’m doomed to have the worst sort of dating experience. Not one of my relationships have featured mutual love and respect and currently my last few dates haven’t even happened as the guy stops talking to me the day of or before the day.

Why is this SO hard?? I feel like Sisyphus caught in this endless cycle of men who never pan out. I’m so tired of pursuing, or having to put up with the half-hearted efforts of guys who don’t even know what they’re looking for. I have run out of time to waste and my patience is stretched thin. 😣

#the dating pool is trash #modern dating sucks #single for life #im cursed #why is dating so hard

[ash-and-starlight]

hades atla bisexual simulator

#id in alt text #hadesgame artstyle is the most poggers thing on this fucking earth let me just YOINK steal it #i haven’t played a single minute of hades in my life btw #but i’m familiar with its bisexuality #it calls to mine like a siren’s song #i wanted to add lil dialogue options to them but my brain farted before it got done so. this is what u get :3 #zuko #sokka #suki #yue #pondering the orb #my art #also: LAST ART OF THE YEAR BESTIE BELOVEDS THANK U FOR MAKING THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF SHARING ART SO MUCH FUN #KISSES FOR ALL