#societal expectations

[alwaysbewoke]

as a former herb (which was the name for simps back in my day) i will never again pay the bills for any woman who doesn't have my last name. i've paid bills, rents, travel accommodations, and more like an idiot. i've learned my lesson. it was a hard lesson but i learned it. never pay the bills for someone who isn't your wife. if she wants bills paid then she's got to get a husband (which means she has to be wifey material which is harder than just being freak in the sheets or girlfriend material). anything else, everything else is a scam and just because you have money doesn't mean you're supposed to be a mark. that's another lesson i had to learn. just because i could afford it doesn't mean i'm supposed to be paying for it. and the moment they leave because you won't pay their bills you know you just dodged a bullet.

#Dating #simping #dating advice #wifey material #girlfriend material #relationships #financial boundaries #personal growth #self-worth #lessons learned #partnership dynamics #gender dynamics #societal expectations #financial responsibility #emotional resilience

[aromanticduck]

Is there a word that's like heteronormativity and amatonormativity but for the expectation that everyone should have children - usually specifically biological children unless they physically can't (and then they must be sad about that* and eventually 'settle' for adoption).

I know it's talked about a lot, I just wondered if we had a term.

*Being sad about infertility is totally reasonable, I'm criticising the expectation of this response from everyone in that position.

#organic home grown content #societal expectations #societal pressure #amatonormativity #heteronormativity #childfree #<- tagging this community because they're likely to know #i know this is intertwined with both amatonormativity and heteronormativity #because you're supposed to be in a straight romantic relationship to have the children #(but there is a little corollary where gay people are assumed to want to adopt)

[fanficrocks]

On being an ace woman of childbearing age

Being an ace woman of childbearing age in a conservative region brings its own challenges. On the one hand, you are lauded as a “nice girl who doesn’t sleep around”. And on the other, you are constantly advised to “settle down and start a family”.

What do you feel? Please reblog to increase sample size.

#asexual #choices #live how you like #societal expectations #nosy

[uncommon-lamp]

Ok so I'm no philosopher.

Today I was sitting at my campus and I saw a woman, dressed in a power suit with her makeup and hair done with her shoes and socks off in the grass. That's a little odd, I thought to myself, normally grass-enjoyers are more of the "crunchy granola" type (I live in California). And I realized that I hadn't had my bare feet in the grass since I was a young child. Why? It wasn't socially common. But here I was, seeing this very professional looking woman enjoying the tactile pleasure of the natural world. "That's a good idea" I said to her, feeling a bit bolder than usual.

So I took my shoes and socks off and walked around in the grass. And it was delightful. And it was the best I felt in days. And I realized that I never would have had that delight if it weren't for this lovely woman who showed me, silently, passively, that she wanted to feel grass beneath her feet.

And it made me think about how we as a species lead by example. We aren't a hive mind, obviously. We have free will, but so much of what we do is informed by our peers. How we look to other. What's acceptable. What's expected. What's normal.

And it made me think... Of everything. Every time I've realized I want food when my friends do. Every time I've danced while at a party when there are others willing to do the same. Every time I've been the second person to laugh or talk or cry. Every time I've offered money to the homeless after seeing someone else do so first. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't want to be the only one.

And I think that maybe the one of the many reasons we have "i-pad kids" is because they're not being lead by example. We're on our phones, so are they. They don't know the pleasure of reading because we don't give them a reason to wonder.

The reason we may not have as much empathy and sympathy is because we're not used to showing it. The reason we have trouble talking about our feelings and wants and needs in social spaces is because we don't want to be the first one.

Because kindness begets kindness. Or, at least, interest begets interest, and when there's interest, there's a possibility for change. Inertia is the killer.

So read in public, read to your children, teach kids how to act and be around others. Foster empathy, charity, humility, tell people, especially kids, why it's important. Make it normal to be a nice person for the sake of it. Be public, smile at people, say hello to people, be yourself. Just be.

You might be the reason someone feels the grass beneath their feet, and smiles at you and wonders why they took so long to realize they wanted to.

That's how I want to live, anyway.

#personal thoughts #hopecore #social justice #societal norms #societal expectations #gen alpha #self actualization #gen z #advice #hope

[faramirsonofgondor]

Y’all now that I really think about it I’m pretty sure that Mike in S3 was actually trying to mirror Nancy’s behavior from S1. They both obviously don’t look at their parent’s relationship as the model for their romantic pursuits despite exhibiting some of the same qualities. So, Mike’s ideas about how to behave in a relationship probably come from Nancy’s relationship with Steve, especially considering all his friends’ parents (besides Lucas) aren’t really able to demonstrate what a romantic relationship should or would look like. If you look at the way they both act, it’s clear that to some extent Mike is copying her.

In episode 1 of S1 Dustin says that there’s something wrong with Nancy’s and that she has “a stick up her butt” to which Lucas responds that it’s because she’s dating Steve who he calls a “douchebag”.

In episode 1 of S3 when El and Mike leave because of “curfew” Dustin immediately questions it and Lucas replies that they’re lying, with Will adding that it was like this all summer. Dustin claims that “it’s bullshit” and Lucas nods along.

Steve sneaks into Nancy’s room to “study” and have some alone time.

Mike and El shut the door to her room/secretly make out behind Hopper’s back.

In Season 1, Barb expressed her fears that Nancy is going to leave her to fit in with the popular crowd and that she’s not acting the way she normally does. Nancy eventually does end up separating herself from Barb to be with Steve.

In Season 3, Will and the others feel like both El and Mike are abandoning them somewhat, and express their annoyance about. A heavy theme amongst the teens seems to be “acting like society expects boyfriends/girlfriends/teenagers to do” and Mike and El going off on their own (pre-break up)

Nancy and Steve eventually break up because Nancy’s secrecy about the demogorgon leads him into believing that she’s cheating on him/not being faithful and they end up fighting about it in public, with Steve trying to apologize amidst the chaos and eventually fighting the demogorgon to help save Nancy & Jonathan.

El and Mike break up because of Mike’s lying/secrecy about his grandmother/his conversation with Hopper which leads El to feel like Mike doesn’t trust her or treat her right. They eventually fight about it in public and break up, and end up trying to reconcile amongst the chaos, with Mike stepping in to try and save El & Max from Billy on different occasions.

In S1, Jonathan and Nancy get into an argument because Jonathan thinks Nancy acts like someone else to which Nancy immediately gets defensive about and says that he’s only upset because he’s doesn’t like Steve/her relationship with Steve. As their argument comes to an end, Jonathan divulges that he thought Nancy was different than everyone else and that he’s disappointed by the fact that she’s trying to conform to society’s standards.

In S3, Will and Mike argue because Will feels like Mike is changing and not acting like how he had before because of his relationship with El, to which Mike gets defensive about and says that it’s not his fault that Will doesn’t like girls (equating Will’s frustration and hurt towards Mikes behavior to simply being jealous? about Mike and El’s relationship). As their argument ends, Will reveals that he had expected Mike to continue playing D&D with him and keep acting like a kid (things that don’t conform to what Mike thinks society expects of him).

Nancy states that she waited a month for Jonathan to make a move before getting back together with Steve.

El makes a move on Mike two months after they break up, which is presumably when they get back together.

I think Mike saw the way Nancy was acting in S1 (when his friends thought she was mean/uptight) and thought that’s how people act in relationships.

There are also a lot of parallels between S2 Stancy and S4 Mileven.

#stranger things #mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #eleven hopper #jonathan byers #will byers #byler #jancy #relationships #societal expectations #plot analysis #character analysis #analysis #teen romance

[another-little-hippie]

here’s to robert plant, the sex icon of the 70’s, bearing characteristics like a cleft chin (butt chin) and tooth gaps. reminding us that societal beauty standards are actual bullshit and beauty has nothing to do with “perfection,” if we can even say there’s such a thing.

also, how adorable is his smile???

#70s #classic rock #jimmy page #led zeppelin #robert plant #60s #rock and roll #jimbert #john paul jones #bonzo #beauty standards #societal expectations #tooth gap #percy #beautiful

[howifeltabouthim]

She said women were considered strong these days only if they didn't talk about things they loved that didn't love them back, if they didn't get hurt or allow themselves to be occasionally humiliated at their own hands when, really, strength was being unashamed to want what you want.

Lisa Taddeo, from Animal

#women #societal expectations #societal pressure #shame #unrequited love #weakness #the heart wants what it wants #strength #unashamed #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #social commentary #lisa taddeo #animal

[femmefatalevibe]

Just wondering,

Do u think women these days want more casual/sexual relationships rather than something longterm or serious?

As one of these women, I can say a lot of it is for two reasons:

Because we can, honestly. For a lot of (even modern) history, women didn't have the academic, professional, and financial opportunities to live without/not need to seek out a long-term romantic partner. Even in the past decade or two when these possibilities existed, there was a LOT of social stigma surrounding women enjoying being single while also valuing sex/sexual relationships (think Samantha Jones and how she was portrayed back in the '90s/early '00s vs. how we perceive/admire her now)

Relationships are a lot of work and, especially in heterosexual relationships, the emotional labor often falls mainly (if not exclusively) on the woman, which can take a toll on your health, professional life, self-esteem, social life/friendships, self-esteem, ability to pursue hobbies, etc.

Desiring or enjoying being in a long-term/serious romantic relationship is an equally valid ideal/choice. With any perception/lifestyle choices surrounding romance/sex/dating, the intention and fulfillment/respect for both parties in any given dynamic should always be the priority.

Hope this helps xx

#sex and relationships #dating and relationships #casual sex #female sexuality #female power #social commentary #gender norms #women's rights #women's empowerment #feminist #feminism #femmefatalevibe #q/a #social norms #societal expectations #societal impact #intersectional feminism #gender roles #patriarchy #purity culture #womens rights

[cowboyjen68]

I’m sorry if this is a strange thing to ask advice about. I’m certain I’m a lesbian, it feels correct. It’s what makes most sense to me given everything I know about myself since I was a girl who didn’t understand these things. But I keep feeling like I should try it out with a man before calling myself a lesbian. Like I have to check it off the list. But when it gets down to it I freak out and don’t want to anymore. I think what I’m trying to do is see if I can endure it because being with men would just be more practical for me. Although I get the sense that I only feel this way because deep down I don’t want to be a lesbian. Is there a way for me to be satisfied with the fact that I’m a lesbian? Maybe being with a man will be as awful as I imagine it to be that I’ll stop moping and wishing I was straight. I guess I just wish I could have the strength and motivation it takes to deal with what I don’t like about the lgbt community and what I don’t like about family expectations of who I’m supposed to be and still be content with being a lesbian anyway. What if I’m never happy? I might not be into men, but my family would be thrilled to see me with a boyfriend and maayyybe my life would be happier. I’m sooo sorry I made your read this, but I’m trying to be honest. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore!

The good news is, whether you are a lesbian or not, all of these conflicts are being prompted by outside influences, as you mentioned: Family, LGBT community etc. General society has an effect on us even if we think we are able to subvert it by being aware of the expectations of us as women. Knowing a problem exists does not give us the solution. 

Why is this good news?  Because fixing internal struggles can be helped greatly by  learning how to filter the outside noise as it applies to you. You can learn tools to navigate all the societal junk surrounding you, Humans are naturally built to do so. We all live in a world where we rely on information from our culture to figure out life goals, expectations to get along in our environment and acceptable behavior (ie manners)  so I believe we have some natural ability to take what is around us and shape it into what fits us as much as we are shaped by it. We are not just puppets of our environment or we would all be just exactly the same as our regional friends and family. Clearly that is not the case in the real world.

At the end of each day, at the times in your life when you are alone, whether for a minute or hours or days, you are always with yourself. Happiness is a gift you deserve and you are responsible for giving it to yourself. If you are not happy with a man and you are not happy with a woman you still have yourself. Happiness can occur outside of any relationship. 

When I was young, teens and early 20’s I knew I liked women. I was almost 100 percent sure that I was a lesbian but, at the time, would never have admitted I was 100 percent. There was always some doubt that I was just unsure or misreading or lacking some important experience that would cause a light bulb to go off and I would be straight. Maybe it was youth, maybe it was curiosity, maybe it was desperation to not want to be a lesbian. 

So I dated and had sex with the nicest man I could find. It was… something I did and that was that. I was not traumatized. We dated for maybe two weeks and slept together a handful of times. Each time I was disillusioned that it was okay to meh. Definitely nothing like the movies, TV and love songs made it out to be. Just something that we did and it was not miserable but not fulfilling. IT was not that it made me sure I was a lesbian but it forced me to begin to accept that I was and I needed to readjust my goals and the future I saw for myself. 

I do not recommend sleeping with some dude to force a decision on yourself regarding your sexuality. It is an unnecessary action.

While I don’t regret something that I consider just a youthful experience, if I could go back and give myself  advice it would be to date who I wanted and to have sex when it felt exciting and I was enthusiastic about my partner, whether that be a one night stand or someone I wanted to pursue a relationship with and not with whom I thought I was “supposed” to be attracted to. 

You owe nothing to your family when it comes to your happiness and fulfillment. You only get ONE Life and it does not belong to them.  You can do everything “right” according to what they think they want and they could still be disappointed so instead focus on you, and let them decide if they want to embrace living your best life or not. I can tell you, most parents say a lot of stupid stuff but when it comes to real life they are happy to know their child is happy. 

Being a lesbian is beautiful and natural. Connecting sexually, emotionally and intellectually with the right woman (women) is something well worth walking through the gauntlet of external and internalized homophobia and I say this from experience. Denying yourself of that possibility is neither healthy nor will it benefit you in the long run. 

Being same sex attracted is not an easy road in this world and I won’t tell you it is but it can get easier if you seek others who share your attraction. Find other lesbians or bi women to befriend, read a bit about our history and seek out the stories of those who have been where you are and came out the other side to be proud, healthy, happy lesbians (You found me out in the internet ether so you recognize that something about me resonates with you). 

You will be okay and eventually (it does take time) you will have lesbian friends who can show you all the ways lesbians can and do exist so you won’t have to feel constrained to stereotypes or just another set of expectations that don’t fit your personality.

#lesbian #coming out #societal expectations

[irbcallmefynn]

They should invent a my back that doesn't hurt after I sit there drawing for an hour straight

Or invent a my desk that actually has room so I can have my drawing tablet not awkwardly off to the side at a weird angle

And while they're at it they should invent a society where I can just draw and love and have fun for the rest of my life without consideration of money or responsibility.

#bedposting #i can connect any topics #back pain #desk space #societal expectations #fuck the economy #i just wanna love people and have fun and do what i want forever with no repercussions

[alwaysbewoke]

#robbie scott #tiktok #viral video #generation z #baby boomers #work ethic #economic disparities #employment #salary #housing #education #financial stability #societal expectations #criticism #attitudes toward work #millennials #generational differences #work commitment #financial struggle

[lgbtq-archives]

#silverdaddies #lgbtq #gay community #older gay men #gay over 60 #mature gay men #mature gay #my life my rules #against the grain #societal norms #societal pressure #societal expectations #lgbtq archives #Youtube

[revginapond]

The Toxic Idea That Hobbies Should Take A Back Seat To Relationships

In today’s society, it’s common to hear stories of long-term partners demanding their significant other spend all their free time with them, abandoning their hobbies and interests in the process. This societal norm is even promoted in TV shows and movies as being “romantic” when, in reality, it’s anything but. As a child, my parents encouraged me to pursue my interests and hobbies, and they did…

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#control #emotional abuse #healthy relationships #hobbies #individuality #jealousy #love #personal growth #relationships #romantic tropes #self-worth #societal expectations #trust

[faramirsonofgondor]

Mike Wheeler Is Traumatized

I know a lot of people equate Mike distancing himself from Will & the rest of the party to him just being an asshole, growing up, or internalized homophobia, but I think it has to do with his trauma SO MUCH. A lot of people ignore that by the end of season 2/the beginning of season 3 Mike is probably the only child who has seen so much gore (besides El, and possibly Will). Like even Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan did not have to see what Mike saw in the lab. While I’m not trying to say Mike has more trauma than the rest of the kids, he definitely has a lot different trauma.

In Season 1, all the of the kids (I’m including Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve as a part of the kids because they’re still teens during seasons 1 & 2) have seen the demogorgon but they don’t really have to see the aftermath of what it does. They know on some level that their life is in danger, but they don’t know exactly what the demogorgon is capable of, just that it took Will & killed Barb. Although Nancy & Jonathan do see the deer getting eaten, it’s not really the same thing as a human. El is really the only one with the knowledge of what the demogorgon is and what it can do, and even then she doesn’t really have all the full facts. I’d say that the goriest thing the kids experience by the end of S1 is El killing the agents and even then it probably wasn’t as impactful because they probably saw those agents as bad guys (because they were). So maybe the goriest thing was Will’s body, but again, they only saw it from afar and then found out that Will was still alive not even 24 hours later. While Wild’s experience in the upside down was definitely traumatic I’m not entirely sure if it can be classified as gory because we don’t know the full extent of what Will experienced.

Then we get to Season 2. All of the younger kids on some level witness Will’s possession, but Mike is the only one who gets to see the full extent of it, and he’s consistently the one who finds Will first during his episodes. He’s the one who witnesses Will’s seizure while Bob, Hopper, and Joyce are still on their way out of the tunnels. He’s also privy to a lot more information than anyone else regarding Will’s experiences with the Mind Flayer. I think Mike himself wasn’t even aware of this fact, because when speaks to Joyce it almost seems like he’s under the assumption that Will told her about the Mind Flayer, when in reality she pieced it together herself. Will also gives Mike insight into his worries about being controlled by the Mind Flayer, but he doesn’t seem to tell anyone else. Now back to Will’s seizure and subsequent hospitalization, when Mike is first presented with idea that Will might forget him, it’s a lot to handle, because it’s not something Mike can fix, but then Will does remember Mike and Mike is relieved. And it’s Mike who Will turns to, who Will tells that he has an idea on how to stop him. It’s Mike who realizes a little too late that it had all been a trap and that there’s nothing they can do to stop it.

Somehow, miraculously, Mike, Will, Joyce, Bob, Hopper, and Dr. Owens make it to safety. But not before Mike has witness thousands of demodogs eating people alive, tearing them apart - people who were only trying to help Will, people who probably had friends and family of their own. And now they’re all stuck, and it’s only a matter of time before the demodogs get to them. Yet, somehow, they make it out, and they’re only waiting for Joyce and Bob when Mike hears her scream. Can you imagine how horrifying it would be? To be the only kid in a situation like that? Mike probably didn’t even know if Joyce was okay or not until she got outside. Can you imagine what was going through Mike’s head? Not to mention, had Joyce actually been hurt, then Hopper would’ve been the only adult left in that situation- and he went back inside. Those few moments must have been so fucking terrifying, because if Hopper died, then who was left to protect them?

I also honestly think in part that Hopper leaving them might’ve been a contributing factor to Mike’s blowup at Hopper - obviously Mike was upset that Hopper hid El, but his breakdown seems to be deeper than that. Hopper has been telling Mike since Season 1 not to get involved, that he’ll handle it, etc. but then Hopper and Joyce leave the kids at the end of S1 and the party ends up losing El, so when confronted with the fact that Hopper had abandoned them again, even momentarily, probably made Mike lose so much of his trust/belief in Hopper to keep him and the party safe. Finding out about El was just the final nail in the coffin.

Anyways, back to Will’s possession. Mike was also the only party to be there when they were trying to get through to Will in the shed. Mike had to witness Will scream that Mike was lying, to let Will go, etc. I think that all of this combined is what really causes Mike to distance himself from Will and the others, not only the fact that he had witnessed such brutality and gore, but also that he feels partially responsible for it. He truly had lost his innocence in a way the rest of the party hadn’t experienced, and the only one who understood on some level was El (because she felt partially responsible too) and that’s why they latched into each other so hard. I also think that’s the reason why Mike insists of ditching his childhood in Season 3, because it was D&D that had sort of started this whole thing to begin with, and it was Mike childlike belief that they would make it out okay, that supporting Will would be enough to stop the Mind Flayer, that made Mike feel like he should’ve done more in the aftermath of Season 2.

However, I would also like to point out that Mike seems to have other trauma that’s not related to the Upside Down that contributes to this behavior as well. Mike has been punished multiple times for not conforming or for acting out throughout the series. When Mike stands up for Will during the assembly in Season 1, he’s pushing back against idea that Will’s alleged queerness should be met with violence and bigotry. While this may have felt rewarding in the moment, this eventually leads to the Quarry scene in which Mike is forced to essentially jump to his death. Despite El saving him, I think this impacted him more than the show lets on. While I don’t El or Dustin fully grasped the implications of this scene, I think for Mike it cemented the belief that any having any perceived queerness was a threat to both his and Will’s safety. And it wasn’t just about him being queer - really it was about Will’s perceived queerness. I think that’s why after this scene we see Mike pushing so hard for romance between himself and El AND for romanced between Will and other girls (pushing him to dance with a girl despite seeming unhappy about it, trying so hard push the whole ‘teen summer romance’ and getting girlfriends thing during season 3). When it comes to sexuality Mike doesn’t just see conformance as a way to stop bullying or as the way he would actually like to behave, he sees it as necessary to protecting both his and Will’s life, because its really saying something that the closest Mike’s been to death wasn’t because of the Upside Down but because of two bigoted preteens. Not even full grown adults. Mike probably already knows some of what Lonnie was like, so the idea that the rest of the town might start to catch on, that someone older might try to hurt them probably plagued his mind at least a little.

I’m honestly a little scared for Season 5 because while I do think Mike started rejecting conformity in S4, Eddie’s death and the whole mob mentality towards Hellfire might set back into his Season 3 mindset of trying to fit in as much as possible. I guess I’ll just have to find out when S5 comes out and I pirate it which won’t be for a while.

Anyways pushing past Mike’s conformity towards sexuality, Mike also does get punished for acting out in S2 and he has to get rid of a bunch of his childhood toys. So Mike may associate getting rid of his childhood with punishment. So maybe when Mike tries to push away from his childhood in S3, it’s really because he feels like he has to be punished (for not saving Will on time, for not warning anyone fast enough, for not seeing through the Mind Flayer’s plot, for being a child and having hope only to see that it’s dangerous to hope, that life can be so harsh and unforgiving).

Anyways, if y’all want me to talk more about this (I have ideas about how this connects more in S3 and S4) or anything else just lmk!

#mike wheeler #stranger things #joyce byers #will byers #jim hopper #compulsory heterosexuality #comphet #comphet mike wheeler #byler? #queer characters #homophobia #societal expectations #trauma #trauma response #mike wheeler defender #they could never make me hate you mike wheeler #honestly even if mike is somehow straight i still diagnose him with comphet #social conformity #character analysis #in this essay i will

[glitter-and-be-gay]

every anti-aging cream ad: Buy ✨Brand New Old Face Today✨!!! With ✨Brand New Old Face✨ you can get rid of any signs that you’ve ever used your face! ✨Brand New Old Face✨ addresses problems like smile lines 😁 and frown lines ☹️, so you can have a perfectly neutral face. ✨Brand New Old Face✨ allows you to present a completely expressionless face to the world, one that says: I have never had any experiences, positive 👍🏻 or negative! 👎🏻 This is very attractive! 💁🏼‍♀️ ~Buy ✨Brand New Old Face✨ Today!~

#anti-aging #beauty industry #societal expectations #ageism #feminism #Brand New Old Face

[stacys-mom-has-got-it-goin-on]

"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart... and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we always have to be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong. We have to be thin, but not too thin and you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also, you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You gotta be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but "don't talk about your kids all the damn time!". You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be very grateful, but never forget the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault! I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women... then I don't even know."

#quotes #monologue #gloria mendoza #barbie 2023 #movies #feminism #anti patriarchy #societal expectations #stereotypical barbie #america ferrera