#someone came in hot once w discourse even

[local-ground-apple]

Can i get a oneshot where Azul finds out about reader's secret "pics of Azul Ashengrotto when he's not looking" magicame account lol

oh yes, the only magicam account that got more followers than Vil and Cater

wait for “Oh Azul, your radiant beauty is an art” discourse under the cut.

alternative title: Koebi-chan turns into sneaky snake to immortalise the beauty of local octopus who for once doesn’t know how to turn this situation into a contract feat.  neighbourhood-friendly eels dying from laughter

“Azul, I think you should see this”

Jade passed his phone to Azul who was engrossed in his paperwork. With a heavy sigh, he shifted his attention from recent golden contract and looked at the screen. His eyes widen at the sight of pictures.

Pictures of him.

Lot of photos on one blog titled: “Pictures of Azul Ashengrotto taken when he’s not looking”

,,It’s surprisingly quite popular account”

Jade remarked not sparing a single glance at Azul who was going through an existential crisis. He was anxiously scrolling through countless picture taken, as the description of magicam account stated, when he was not looking.

Him doing some homework, him preparing a special golden contract, him burning his fingers on boiling hot tea or even him looking at the star-studded sky.

When someone could have taken those pictures? Why? Does he have a stalker? Wasn’t he the one who occasionally stalked people?

Multiple questions run through Azul’s head as his hand run through his hair. He let out a heavy sigh, not even bothering to listen to Floyd who was having a time of his life. Eel sat comfortably in his chair and was dying from laughter.

Azul’s secret admirer and stalker? That octopus having a secret fan-blog? How amusing~~ What unfortunate soul could be so engrossed in that fishy businessman?

“Who runs it? Names, Jade, I need names.”

Oh, so octopus entered the “feral disposure mode”, remarked Floyd who licked his lips in anticipation. Oh how he couldn’t wait to squeeze some poor, unfortunate souls.

“Ohhh, yess, we could squeeze that little admirer of yours”

,,I doubt Azul will let you after I reveal who it is”

Jade cut in, making everyone confused. Floyd’s wide grin slightly faltered and Azul raised an eyebrow.

“Ne, ne Jade, don’t keep us in suspension~~”

“It’s Y/N.”

The sound of your name entailed various reactions. Jade only chuckled seeing Azul going through another crisis, as his eyes widen and he was left utterly speechless, while Floyd was (once again) dying from laughter.

“Koebi-chan? THAT Koebi-chan??! It couldn’t get funnier!”

Exclaimed Floyd while Azul was still engrossed in his thoughts.

It suddenly made sense.

The way you would observe him, constantly on your phone when he was taking care of contracts or paperwork. Stealing secret glances and giggling and always dismissing his questions when he asked what made you laugh.

Given that you were dating Azul and he was a busy businessman, you were a rather special guest at Mostro Lounge and recently you’ve been spending there more time than in your own dorm.

“I mean it’s kind of fair. I send you to spy on her and she spies on me in return”

Remarked Azul with a heavy sigh, quickly pushing up his glasses and standing up. He was determined to leave his cabinet before Leech twins tease him or make fun of that blog any further. He caught a glimpse of Floyd opening his lips to throw some nasty and vicious remarks at him and Jade’s eyes were glowing with mischief.

It was high time to evacuate and excuse himself of the room.

Azul had a bigger fish to take care of than Leech twins.

It seemed that his angelfish gone a little bit too far.

                                                            …

,,Y/N dear, could you perhaps explain this?”

,,Right, Shrimpyy~~!! Why would you take so many pictures of Azul when you could just admire me!”

Azul’s deadly calm and cold voice as well as two pairs of arms wrapping up around you, successfully pulled you out from redoing mock papers for alchemy. You let out a loud shriek and jumped at the sudden contact.

Ignoring Floyd and his tightening with each passing second grip, you focused on the screen which Azul was practically showing in your face.

“Oh, you found that?”

You were stunned. You knew the day of your doom will come sooner or later, so you were prepared for every possible scenario. Yet, that didn’t stop you from screaming internally as multiple thoughts run through your brain.

Oh shit. I knew that was a bad idea. What were I thinking? That guppy brain of mine! Please sir, don’t let those eels squeeze me. If that’s how I shall go down, at least I’ve left a worthy legacy.

Azul quickly remarked your flushed face as you fiddled with your thumbs nervously. You tried to wriggle out of the twins’ grip, but your attempts were quickly proved to be futile. Much to Floyd’s dismay you soon stopped struggling and instead you decided to fake your confidence.

Baffle them with your bullshit, usually seemed to be a good strategy.

The other choice would be to seduce Azul, but you weren’t sure if you were able to put on the show right in front of twins.

“I took excellent pictures, didn’t I? I even made sure the light was perfect on each of them. Oh, look at this one! You looked suuuuuper handsome that day, didn’t you? You’re rarely that cheerful and your smile causes flowers to bloom in a 50 meter radius. So it’s only natural that I felt the need to make that look last forever~”

You ignored Floyd’s laughter, subtle chuckles from Jade and Azul who was not only confused and wasn’t sure whether he should scold you or ask you to continue rabbiting on. His face flushed and he tried his best to still appear “collected and calm”, but you could see through his façade.

Azul was actually flattered that you found him worthy of not even a single picture but a whole blog dedicated to his beauty, as you phrased it.

“Y’know, you’re a walking art and I couldn’t help myself but to immortalise it!”

You exclaimed with a bright smile and you lower your head slightly, so hair could do you a favour and hide your embarrassment which was written all over your hair.

“Awwww, Jade, aren’t they such cuties~~~”

,,I think we should leave them alone Floyd”

And with that Jade excused them, leaving you with frustrated Azul who kind of wanted to scold you for taking pictures without his permission and kind of wanted you to shower him with even more praises.

He was greedy, insatiable and desired more.

You giggled seeing his flushed face. You hesitantly came closer, standing right before him. You quickly cut the remaining distance and your forehead touched his, resting in that place. Azul sighed deeply and his gloved hand reached to run through your hair.

“What should I do with you, angelfish, hmm?”

,,Well, you could perhaps kiss me?”

You suggested with a sly smile, making Azul let out a barely audible chuckle. He slightly shook his head and you felt the tension leaving his body.

“You know there’s price for that.”

“Dang, you want me to delete that blog, don’t you?”

,,Y/N you should delete that blog, so my image could appear more professional”

You pouted dramatically, pulling away from him. Before Azul could clarify himself, you cut him.

“Well, that’s a shame depriving all those people from your radiating beauty!”

Well, maybe you were going a bit overboard with the amount of praises and dramatic power it entailed.

Either way, Azul lost it.

Instead of collected and meticulous octopus you saw a determined and frustrated man who was more than eager to protest.

,,No, no, Y/N. I should be THE ONE who should be complementing you and worshipping you, but about that price”

He exclaimed and you only giggled in response as Azul took you in his arms. He began leaving delicate, butterfly kisses on your neck in breaks incoherently mumbling praises.

Your lips soon got captured by chapped lips which tasted like water and salt into a delicate, gentle kiss. It almost made you forget about the slight sadness you had felt when Azul asked you to delete your blog. Instead his next words between nibbling on your skin, made you stunned and worried.

“Instead I should make a blog full of pictures of you, my angelfish, to return the favour”

“W-wait!”

“But could you perhaps continue with your whole “Oh Azul, your radiant beauty is an art” discourse. I would love to hear more”

BONUS:

“How did I not find out about this earlier? I’m literally tagged in every picture”

“I blocked you”

“YoU wHaT”

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland writing #azul ashengrotto #twst oneshot #twisted wonderland imagine #twst x mc #twst x reader #twst azul #twst azul x reader #leech twins #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland x mc #floyd leech #jade leech #octavinelle #requested #feels for tweels #save that poor guppie brain of yours #twst fluff #azul #jade #floyd #azul's radiant beauty

[divagonzo]

What exactly is being ace? I didn't understand that anon post about being just a phase

‘ello Nonnie. Thanks for the question. This is going to be rather long and in-depth so I’ll toss up a TL;DR and then answer in-depth under the cut.

TL;DR answer: Being Ace means asexual, in that a person doesn’t feel any physical sexual attraction to another person, regardless of sex, or gender presentation. Within this label are various spectrums from “Zero physical/sexual attraction to anyone, ever” to “it happened once in my life” to “I gotta know someone for years before there’s even a possibility and even then, it might not happen.”

Even then there is a whole spectrum when you add in the romantic side of things, from Aromantic to Homoromantic to Biromantic or Panromantic, etc.

They can want the snuggles, companionship, maybe some snogging going on - but going so far as to feel sexual attraction to someone else? Not happening.

All the fic of “one night stand” or “friends with benefits? Rarely with those who are Ace. Too much stands in the way of it.  Those who do are probably doing such for pleasing a partner or sharing experiences for the aftermath of cuddles and open & honest communications.

The detractors who say “it’s a phase” use it as denigration and dehumanization, saying it in a derogatory manner, infantilizing us into “we’ve not grown up enough to realize sex is the end-all/be-all of relationship dynamics” when it’s not the case. 

All of this doesn’t get into the Aromantic side of things, too. That is a whole ‘nuther nutshell.

Those who fall on the Ace spectrum might as well have an affinity for garlic bread than getting hot and sweaty with someone - or rather have garlic bread next to spagbol than think of doing The Do.

Further explanations under the cut line

It boils down to feelings - or in this case, lack of them. All the Calvin Klein models in their pants & knickers? Does nothing for those who are Ace (maybe aesthetics but not “I gotta ask to bone them immediately” rubbish. Same for seeing stuff on the screen or even in the books/fic. 

Since Ace isn’t talked about much until recently, there have been generations of people who have felt... broken.... for not feeling something others do, including acting unhealthy ways to either conform or blend in or doing it for others and letting boundaries be violated by engaging in such when it’s just not there.

Being Ace wasn’t even a remotely mainstream letter under the Queer community label until ~ 15 years ago. Sure, it’s been out there on the fringes and margins of the Community since the 70′s but it’s only been in the last 10-15 years that it’s grown into something remotely recognizable, with pride flags, social media presence, and acceptance for much of the wider global populace. Even now being Ace isn’t necessarily something of a pride aspect, since most just want to live quietly and with contentment away from sex. I’ve heard quite a few who aren’t straight get bent (or hurt, too) because a romantic partner of theirs realizes they are Ace and the one hurt can’t get past it and realize that the relationship won’t work since there is that incompatibility involved.

Just like Bi or Pan, being in a straight appearing relationship doesn’t negate who you are - just like married women are still Bi or Pan, even if married to a man.

Back when I could have used the information and not wandered for decades before finding what fits me best, I tried on so many labels. None fit.

Lesbian? Nope. Liked Guys to some extent*** (more on that later)

Bi? Possible but it didn’t fit either. 

Het? Still nope since I had some attractions to women as well. (Gramma Draig is Old and Pan wasn’t a label until decades past my wedding so it wasn’t a consideration)

Nothing fit properly until I came across early Ace discourse and said, “Hmmmm this might be a possibility” but even then it didn’t quite fit just right for me, personally. Only when I came across a subset inside the Ace spectrum - Demisexual - did I find what fits like a well-tailored suit or the perfect pair of calfskin leather gloves.

The Spouse, whom I have been with for 25+ years now? He falls on the Ace spectrum too. His was a “once in a lifetime” sort of attraction. I certainly don’t complain.

So those who see us out and about might presume we’re a het couple.... are rudely disabused since we are, for all intents, queer. 

And with his, he’s content to spend quality time together than to do anything icky sticky. And that’s fine. We have what works for us.

But anyone saying negatively that “it’s just a phase” and “You’ve not f* the right person yet” earns instant disrespect and I will gladly block them than deal with them. Ain’t no one got time for those shenanigans. I will also burn a bitch for anyone trying corrective behaviors to change someone who is Ace.

Those who wish to use abuse to make someone who is Ace conform to their belief system..... they deserve a piano dropped on their head or a millstone tied around their neck and dropped down to the Titanic to slowly dissolve.

And those who gatekeep Aces out of the community at large? They can fuck off too. (Same for those who fully adhere to lawncare behaviors - aka T/E//R/F/S & S/W/E//R/F/S.)

if you have any further questions, Nonnie, I’ll be glad to assist.

#Anonymous

[welkynars]

Morrowind was not a pleasant place. Seyrena had known that even before the prison ship had docked in the waters of Seyda Neen. Even the other Dunmer in Cyrodiil spoke of the ashy air, unpleasant patrons, and the lingering scent of tar that followed wherever one went. The province was disagreeable even at its best, and on nights like tonight she longed for rolling hills and sweet-smelling lavender fields of Cyrodiil.

Because… well, Cyrodiil was her home, was it not? It was the only place she ever remembered being. Cyrodiil was where she grew up, where she learned her trade and fell in love for the first time and where she’d made her mistakes. Mistakes that had landed her here. In Morrowind. A hot, unfamiliar, wretched land.

It should be unfamiliar, at least. Recently it had felt more and more like home. She did not want Morrowind to feel like home. She never asked for any of this. She never asked to be the savior of an ancestral land she’d never even been to. She never asked to be the incarnate of a man who’d died so long ago his existence was unfathomable. Never asked to be forced to bring the downfall of three fervently worshipped gods, one of whom had given her a welcome she did not deserve. Never asked to have to stand over the corpses of two mer who she apparently once called friends in a life she didn’t remember. Never asked to feel like she’d killed her own friends. 

Seyrena sighed deeply and took another swig of the unknown drink. It tasted like guar piss but it got her intoxicated and that was all she cared about. That, and the fact that the patrons of the small tavern in Pelagiad hadn’t a clue who she was. If she had to hear the title ‘Nerevarine’ one more time she would certainly slice the fingers off of whatever poor soul it was who’d said it. 

No, to the Dunmer of the Halfway Tavern she was just any old Empire-assimilated Dunmer. An outlander; a term she’d hated when she first arrived in Morrowind but longed to be called again. She was an outlander. Her own personal feelings of the Empire aside, she was of the Empire. Raised in Cyrodiil. There was nothing else she knew and nothing else she wanted to know.

A year ago that was how it had been. The alcohol in her hand let her pretend that’s how it still was.

“If you’re not careful there, elf, you’ll drink yourself to death with that,” A voice mumbled from a few feet beside her. She looked up from the corner she was sitting in. A grizzly-looking Nord man sat on the bench to the right of her, watching the bard sing and swing with harsh eyes. His clothes were splattered with dirt and grime and his hand gripped a large wooden mug. The stench of alcohol filled her nose even with his distance from her and she wondered how he was one to talk.

“I can handle my drinks just fine, Nord,” She replied coolly, also averting her eyes to the bard. A pretty young Breton woman playing the lute and singing tales of dragons. Seyrena was glad there were no songs written about her feats just yet.

The man laughed a hearty but mocking laugh and she scowled at him. She hadn’t said anything funny.

“You Dark Elves wouldn’t know drink if it slapped you in the arse,” He was looking at her now with a dangerously mocking smile. 

“Well, I grew up in Cyrodiil so I’d wager I know more than you think I do,” She took another sip of her drink as if to prove a point. “And whatever this is, it's certainly better than that poor excuse for alcohol you call mead.”

He laughed again, and again she did not know what she said that was so funny.

“Imperials are even worse!” He managed to breathe out between howling laughs. He was obviously very drunk if he found a conversation about beverages so hilarious. Seyrena turned away from him and went back to festering in her own misery and regret and longing for a life that no longer existed. She’d rather that than any sort of conversation with a drunken man.

Apparently the gods were again, not on her side and Nords were unable to take obvious hints, because he continued speaking to her. Spoke to her about his homeland(“If this were Skyrim I’d teach you a thing or two about mead, lass”), about how he was grateful the Empire was reigning in the uncivilized Dunmer(“Imperials are good for something, at least”), and finally, about the pretty little Breton girl dancing along to her tunes. 

“They don’t make them like that in Skyrim,” He grunted, watching the bard with a look that made Seyrena’s stomach twist. “We Nords are beasts of men, good for fighting and drinking. But it makes for unflattering women at the very least.” 

Her anger was only growing at this point, fingertips clenching into her own fists. The young woman was simply trying to make coin, perform, and have fun. She didn’t need some malodorous man twice her age commenting on her appearance. If Skyrim was so much better then maybe he should return. 

“Is that why you’re here instead of Skyrim? Because of the unflattering women?” Her tone was cold but the man was too drunk to notice.

“Ha! No, despite her flaws I’d return in a heartbeat, if I could. I’ve been exiled for one reason or another.”

Well, wasn’t that poetic. 

The Nord stood, steadying himself on a wooden post and slamming his mug on the table. Seyrena narrowed her eyes. 

“Well, I’d best be off. Better if I talk to the bard before some other skeever can get his hands on- hey! W-What’re ‘ya doin’?”

Perhaps it was the alcohol, or her desire to protect the Breton girl, or maybe it was just because she’d had the worst year of her life. But Seyrena found herself with her longsword drawn and pointed to the Nord’s throat, his eyes wide with fear and hands up in surrender. So much for the mighty warrior. 

She was also, suddenly, very aware of the people in the room with her; as they’d all turned to stare at the quiet Dunmer in the corner with her sword to a man. Pelagiad was a quiet and no-nonsense settlement. They weren’t quite sure what to make of the scene. And then, her voice rang out from the crowd. 

“Rena? What on Nirn-“

Mehra pushed her way to the front of the forming crowd. She looked as beautiful as ever, dressed in a quaint traveler's garb with her hickory-colored hair let loose to fall over her shoulders. She looked quite different from the Temple-apprentice Seyrena had met what felt like so long ago; older, only by a year, but her eyes held the same burden Seyrena’s did. Seyrena swallowed. Mehra didn’t deserve to be weighed down by her troubles.

Mehra pulled her ash-cover down from over her face, looking incredulously at the scene Seyrena had created. Seyrena couldn’t fully tell if the look on her face was one of disappointment or defeat. 

Before her lover could even get a word out, Drelasa came marching over, huffing something about outlanders. Seyrena rolled her eyes. 

“Mehra, I am fond of you but if your friend is going to cause scenes in my tavern you’ll never see the inside of it again!” Drelasa wagged her finger in Mehra’s face and Seyrena had the impulse to swing her sword and cut it off. 

“I know, Publican, I-“ Mehra turned to Seyrena, her eyes pleading. “Rena, please. It’s a day long trip back to Seyda Neen.”

Seyrena scoffed and looked back to the Nord who was now backed up against the wall. “You leave that girl alone or I’ll cut off your hands and stitch your lips shut.”

The Nord nodded, and she lowered her sword. He scurried off like a mouse out of the Inn to the border of the Ascadian Isles and the Bitter Coast. 

She defeatedly let Mehra take her sword from her and place it back in its sheath on her back. The Publican was still watching them, arms crossed and tapping her foot. 

“It won’t happen again, Drelasa. I apologize on behalf of both of us.” Mehra sounded sincerely sorry and Seyrena felt a pang of guilt. 

“You’re damn right it won’t happen again. B’vehk, it’s every other night with you two.”

Mehra took Seyrena’s hand and led her to their room. The latter Dunmer’s head was held low, not out of shame but in an effort to keep any patron from doing a double-take on her. “Hey, aren’t you that…”

When the two reached privacy, Mehra’s fist promptly collided with Seyrena’s shoulder. Much harder than she’d expected the mage would’ve been capable of. 

“Ow,” She muttered, rubbing the raw skin. Mehra’s gaze was as fiery as her palms in battle, and Seyrena found herself unable to meet it. 

“Why do you do these things to us? Do you want to have to walk miles in ash to find a new place to stay again?”

“He was being a s’wit,” She silently cursed herself for using the Dunmeris term. This was not her home.

“So was the Imperial Guardsman in Suran, and the Telvanni Noble in Sadrith Mora, oh! And, of course, the poor fellow who simply wanted your autograph in-“

“Alright! Alright, I get it. I ruin everything I touch. I’m sorry.”

Seyrena took a seat on the bed and pulled Mehra to stand in front of her. Apologies weren’t her strong suit. It was hard to apologize to someone else for your actions when you couldn’t forgive yourself for them. So, she intertwined their hands and looked up at her with the most apologetic eyes she could muster, her actions speaking the words that got lost in her throat. 

Mehra sighed. “You don’t ruin everything.”

“I do.”

“You don’t. In fact, you make many things quite grand,” She smiled and Seyrena, who smiled back despite herself. “You saved me, for instance. You saved Morrowind. Twice.”

Seyrena’s smile dropped and she moved away from the other woman, laying down on the bed and turning the other way. She wished Morrowind just did not exist at this moment. 

“I doomed it, more like,” She said. “Doomed to it to a future of political discourse and perhaps even religious wars.”

“That is inevitable for this country.”

Seyrena made a sound of exasperation and sat up again. “You don’t understand, Mehra. I know what is good for Morrowind. I don’t know how and I truly wish I didn’t, but I do. And this was not. Yes, Dagoth Ur had to die. The Blight had to end. But how can you diminish everything a country believes in, how can you kill-“ Her voice caught and tears threatened to spill from her eyes, which she absolutely would not allow. “How can you kill a goddess who has spent thousands of years keeping a country and it’s people afloat and expect everything to be the same, or better?”

“Almalexia went mad. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But she wouldn’t have!” Seyrena cried, frustrated that Mehra couldn’t understand what she was saying. “She wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for my existence! Everyone keeps telling me I am a blessing, that this prophecy Azura created is a blessing; it’s a curse, Mehra. It’s a curse of vengeance and I don’t want to be a part of it. I never did. I don’t want this,” The Moon-And-Star ring slipped off her finger and was thrown across the room. The tears were now falling freely from Seyrena’s face. “I’d rather have been executed for my crimes in Cyrodiil. It would’ve been merciful.”

Mehra was quiet, and now she was the one who couldn’t look at Seyrena. It was silent for what could’ve been hours. 

“There’s so much blood on my hands and no matter how often I wash them it won’t go away. Please, just make it go away.”

Still not speaking, Mehra pulled the Nerevarine into her arms and held her as she sobbed. There were no words that could be spoken to comfort her at that moment, she knew that. But it broke her heart to watch the woman who she viewed as a hero come undone before her. 

Eventually Seyrena pulled away from her, dried tears stuck to her face. Her eyes were wide and bright and Mehra wanted to latch onto her before she realized the vulnerability she’d showed and promptly went to bed. 

“I want to go east,” She said, surprising Mehra. 

“East? Like, back to Azura’s Coast? I suppose-“

The Nerevarine shook her head. “No. Farther. I want to leave Tamriel. I want to see something else, anything else.”

Mehra’s mouth opened and closed a few times. “But-“ She’d heard stories of other continents on Nirn, and none of them were good.

For a moment she believed her beloved had lost her mind right there and then. That the stress was too much to handle. But Seyrena’s eyes were dead serious and her composure was eerily calm. 

“Will you join me?”

#for a friend #seyrena almost beats up a gross old nord #tw alcohol #ok goodnight #oc seyrena #nerevarine #morrowind #tes 3 #morrowind fanfiction #elder scrolls fanfiction #nerevar #dunmer #almsivi #the tribunal #fanfiction #the elder scrolls morrowind #dark elves

[dangan-happy]

KAME-HAME FORGET ABOUT IT!

I would like to say thank you to mod taichi, mod rantaro and mod komaeda. I am the anon who was desperate, the one who struggles with academic issue, keep sleeping past midnight because of extra chores, and struggling with executive dysfunction. I don't know how to refer myself haha

It's funny, I saw the notification from your blog about my ask when I was REALLY in need of comfort unexpectedly. it was one of the worse day, I failed the selection to go to college I'm aiming for. there is an alternate way by taking a test but it was a huge and important thing for me, because other relatives would talk (or possibly brag) about how their children are doing wonderfully in academic stuff to my parents. I don't want my parents to feel embarrassed because of me. so of course, it gives me a LOT of anxiety. my heart is beating rapidly that my chest hurts so much.

Then I receive your response to my ask. It's very comforting, it calmed me down. I may teared up a bit. I really appreciate the advices, encouragements, and hugs. (I love hugs) Especially mod komaeda's advices. Thank you so much, I appreciate them. They really mean a lot to me. I didn't realize how much I needed all of these. To be honest, when I was re-reading my ask, I almost can't believe I typed all that. I didn't realize how much I struggled and desperate I am. It was truly a moment of weakness lmao

I've been struggling to respond your response because,, well. I'm still struggling haha. Unfortunately, after I send that ask, things are getting hella rough for me. It was one of those unlucky phase of time, where your days get worse each day, except this time is WAY worse because I'm going to graduate in a month and I have an important exam in two days. Then I got hit by other problems too like a member of my group project doesn't corporate so we were late to submit and it was even half done (it happened just a hour ago and it gives me an emotional breakdown because it was an important one but I'm fine now), I got blamed for something I didn't do (this happens a lot anyway but I'm very drained mentally and physically), I accidentally spat something that I've been keeping to myself to my parents and made them angry (I don't want to talk about my true feelings to them bc they only make me feel worse or worse, they get upset), more homeworks to catch up and more stressful stuff .

Basically anxiety is on my ass 24/7. It's the worst time of my life.

But whenever I hit rock bottom I would re-read your response and it lifts me up, you know? It always cheers me up reading your kind words about me, and as cheesy as it sounds, it makes me feel hopeful haha. But I never felt this hopeful before. So I'm very thankful for it, and thankful for the other mods who work hard helping other people too who come to this blog. Because even though I'm still struggling and facing the worst time right now, I'm not doing as bad as before.

Is it alright if I ask for another hug? Sorry, this whole ask ended up with me venting again haha. But I really am doing not as bad as before... I guess I'm doing better. Step by step maybe. Again, thank you so much!!

( By the way, this is out of topic but... hopefully people who know me don't recognize me on this blog for this question haha (if they do then oh well. shrugs): which one does look scarier for you, Once-ler from Lorax or the character designs from the movie called Cats (2019)? I'm not hating the movie, my friend and I are having a lighthearted discourse about it. u_u )

(Neither. Neither one is even that scary at all, for I fear nothing ~ Mod Hajime 🍊🌈)

---

O-Oh, welcome back, kiddo! Whoa, that’s quite the ask you got here. But it’s more or less an update, i-if I’m correct, and a decent one at th-that. Like you said, it’s all step by step progress, wh-which is still progress no matter how you look at it.

I-I hate to hear that there’s been a few extra bumps along the road since your last ask, b-but I’m at least glad to hear that you’ve been making some sort of progress. Progress is still progress, no matter what. I-I’m just glad that you came to us. I-I’m just some average programmer, but I will agree that Nagito and Rantaro did amazing. Nagito’s... quite the interesting kiddo, but he means well, and Rantaro’s a brotherly figure th-that everyone likes, one way or another. Me? Ah, well... I-I can at least give good hugs, I guess?

S-Speaking of hugs, I’d love to give you one. I-I can at least do that right, heh. I’ll give you as many hugs as you want, kiddo. I personally don’t mind at all.

-

Hey there anon, you don't have to worry about referring to yourself, I remember you just fine! Hey, how's that for awesome timing huh? I'm glad you could read our answers when you needed it. I'm sorry to hear that you were having a worse day, but hey, it sounds like there's a way to make that test up a different way, so I'd give your all to trying that route. Don't give up just yet ok? Damn, yeah, I'm no stranger to the whole family bragging thing, that's a whole lot of pressure I think both of us can do without. It's really thoughtful of you to worry about your parents in this scenario, but you can worry about yourself too ok? Regardless of what you do, they should still be proud of you, and if they aren't, they're completely oblivious to your intelligence level and the amazing things you can do. Aw, I'm smiling real hard hearing how much our response helped, I'm always worried that I didn't help, or I somehow made it worse. Not gonna lie, this did give me a confidence boost. Hey, it's ok, you were in a more emotional state. It wasn't a moment of weakness. Everyone breaks down like that from time to time, and I'm happy that we were here to help you at the time. So don't feel bad about that, you're only human, and it's ok to get like that.

You don't have to worry about having the perfect response either. As much as I wish we could, we can't automatically fix any anons' problems, we can only toss our two cents in and cross our fingers that it helps. The good news is that you came to us with your struggles again, so we can try to help some more. Eesh, yeah, those periods are never fun. Pretty sure Komaeda knows more about them than I do, but I can understand at the least. First of all, congrats on graduating! That's real impressive all by itself, so hopefully you can take some pride in that. Ugh, ok, wow, the second part of that. Damn I got hit with all the feels. I hate it when group projects go like that. I'm usually stuck with all the work, or the one who's up at one am trying to finish the damn thing. I think I'm getting kinda incoherent, so sorry about that. I'm glad you're doing better on that end though, hopefully things work out with that. Aw man, I'm really sorry to hear about the blaming thing. Is there any way to prove your innocence? I'm not saying go all class trial or anything, but is there any way for you to argue your case? Even if it happens a lot, that doesn't mean it's ok. You shouldn't have to get used to things like that.

Yikes, yeah I can totally relate to the last part too. I'm also the type to clam up about my feelings because I don't wanna make anyone mad, but that happens some times, and honestly you had every right to say how you feel. You're keeping this all in, and it's gonna take a toll on you. Yeah, that's a whole lot of stress for one person to carry. I'm really impressed you haven't crashed and burned under the weight, seriously, you're an amazing, strong, resilient/ person, and it just blows me away. Trust me, you're gonna get through this stressful time. You're getting close to the end of it, and I know that you're gonna make it through. Damn, I'm smiling and blushing now. I'm really really glad we were able to help you out that much. Good! It's not cheesy at all! I'm glad you're feeling hopeful! The little steps are just as valuable as the big ones, and the fact that you're at least doing a little bit better is fantastic. Of course you can have another hug! It's ok, we're here to listen to vents, so say whatever you want to, no one's gonna judge you, I promise. Yeah, step by step, that's how you do it. 

Oh damn, that's an interesting question. Honestly, I unironically love the Lorax movie, so the Oncerler ain't scary to me. Cats however...that was a trip. I don't have a better way to describe it, it was just a trip. So the Cats designs are way scarier. Like if I met the Onceler in a dark alley, I'd be just fine, but if I saw a cat-human-thing in a dark alley, I'd run for the hills. However, if I met the onceler fandom in a dark alley, that's a whole other story. Ok, I think I'm rambling again, so I think I better stop talking. Keep making those small steps forward ok? You got this.

W-wow... my advice actually helped someone? Please tell me your joking, or better yet pinching me. I can’t believe my little words could affect you so much.... I think I’m tearing up... hehe. I gotta admit, Rantaro and Taichi did a better job than me! What else do you expect from two amazing Ultimates! Anon, I’m terribly sorry to hear that some things have turned up and made your life a bit more harder, but I want you to keep your chin up ok? You’re doing amazing Anon, I can truly tell! Having a partner that doesn’t help with group projects stinks too! It’s ok that you vented again, it’s always good to speak your mind when you feel bad! Helps to let other people hear to so they can help you! And hey, compliments from Taichi? So nice of you! Never heard myself being called an “interesting kiddo” it’s cute!

I thought you’d never ask! I’d love to give you another hug! As long as you’d let me, I get worried when people want to hug me since I’m utter garbage, but if it makes you feel Hope, then I’m happy to oblige! Ah, and the Onceler or the designs of cats? I’d say the cats, I remember everyone having the hots for the Onceler once, so he can’t be that bad, right?

#danganronpa #danganronpa roleplay blog #ask #taichi fujisaki #rantaro amami #nagito komaeda #mod hajime #mod rantaro #mod nagito

[frida--y]

that is.... hibiki!!

oh hibiki.... the one kamen rider that managed to beat me.. after Akiria transformed for like 2 seconds i just closed the episode, I cant be bothered anymore. I dont want to watch something the writer (inoue) himself hates lol

anyways I’ll just review the first half n what I liked in the second half (if thats possible)

I love Asumu, I think it was a great idea to have such a young protag this time around, I know hibiki wasnt originally conceived as a kr but it’s refreshing to see something different after have the same 18-25 age range for a show aimed for kids. The things Asumu goes through, the fear of failure and the stress of having to decide at a young age the path for the rest of your life is something that happens to kids a lot!! And it sucks!! And the adults in hibiki even say so out loud how unfair this is!!!!!! HIBIKI IS SO GOOD!! I really enjoyed the shoplifter arc and how that really impacted Asumu through out the first half. Asumu was distraught of the violence/discourse people let out and someone like him, a nice kid, just cant even think to understand how people grow up to be like this and it fills him with unease. This revelation makes things worse when the shoplifter spots him one day and beats him up (this happens after Asumu is in high spirits and has grown significantly to which even his childhood friend Mochida notices and falls for him a but more lol), Asumu completely closes himself off emotionally and even blames himself... then in a hiking trip Hibiki brings him along and gives a great speech after they get caught in the rain (which Asumu thinks it’s his fault since he slipped) about loss, life and forces beyond personal control and how Asumu can take this negative energy and turn it into bettering himself and it’s just refreshing to see these themes completely grounded in reality and not in a theme of fighting monsters that are beyond normal human control. I also think having an older rider was such a good idea, the tiny droplets we got in kr w was enough for me to wish of this teacher/father dynamic.

aahhh Hibiki... I really loved this character, and the fact that we learn that he was just as indecisive as Asumu was when he was his age just makes his affection towards Asumu all the more believable. He doesnt live in regrets and it was due to his will to not be as indecisive as he once was and with the help of his bonds that he gained throughout his life he found the strength to become/train an oni.

also he has fantastic dad energy.

riders, fighting together and communicating with each other in my kamen rider? I didnt think so many riders were in this one, fantastic, even beyond the main cast, the lore was fun to learn about. Ibuki is a nerd, Todoroki is adorable, and Zanki is hot cool. The fact we see apprenticeships at different levels was cool too, Todoroki becoming a full fledged oni was one of my favorite episodes and Ibuki having an apprentice the same age as Asumu was cool too, Akiria is daughter level, I love that even she got a character introspection moment, she used to be cold and mean, but realizing that people still cared for her greatly like that she decided to be more open and appreciate the friends she didn’t know she wanted :) and she wants to change herself even more, for the sake of the ones she loves :’)

god i even forgot this boy! he wanted to be an oni but his parents forbid him and even if he couldn’t become one that wasnt framed as a failure in the show, he found another way to help people with his own skills and he seemed happy, he even gave Asumu advice... hibiki is so good.

look at this ratio of female to male characters. god. The Tachibana sisters were fun too, god this cast used it’s characters so well!!!! 

the fact this was the last episode :)

the good things that came out of the second half:

fuck inoue so much if you ever catch me joking that i like his writing kill me:

he isnt even fun to make fun of like Nago and Nakamura doesnt look like he’s having fun like Murakami did in 555, honestly knowing Kiriya would have something to say at Akiria’s 2 second transformation I decided to drop Hibiki and go back to waiting for the new Kabuto blu ray releases LOL

anyways bonus suit screen caps:

#text #kamen rider hibiki #yeah..

[an-ambivalent]

World Of Sloth [Yandere! Emperor! Min Yoongi] [Reader-Insert]

Warning: As this story contains yandere themes, the characters display behaviors that can be triggering or uncomfortable to read. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fiction. I do not believe any of the mentioned members would display any sort of this behaviour irl.

Word Count: 3.3K (okay I kept deleting this because I hated it lmao but I won’t anymore I promise)

They lived in an empire that was reigned by a ruler who could not create balance. It was an empire where the harder a person worked, the worse their life was. The poor scraped and lived off dirts left over on the ground from the soles of rich people’s feet; and the rich lavished in their endless privileged. They were consumed by their materials, and each day, they gained more and more for the things they never worked for. Majority of the people who did not belong to the upper class,  lived in atrociously ahorrent conditions.

See, it was not always like this in your kingdom, nor were the inhabitants’ life this miserable. Prior to the reign of the current sovereignty, difference in wealth amongst lower, middle, and upper class existed but the lower class still had a decent life. Mostly, their needs for survival such as food, water, shelter, the chance to have some education, and work opportunities which allowed them to improve themselves, existed. Now, under the current ruler and the society he had created, breaking out of the poverty cycle was almost an impossible task.

Bad quality of life, and barely having their needs for survival met, meant higher increase in crime, hatred, and divide amongst people in a kingdom that should actually be united together. People were beginning to become whelmed by the idea of  justice they thought they deserved, and were starting to lose their fear for the corrupted authority. They kept their heads low for the most part, but acts of rebellion -- small and secretive big ones -- were starting.

Living a somewhat lavish life, and then being hurt by people who were from the lower class, or living through poverty and being hurt by those from the higher class, being at the end of the spectrum in each situation had it cons and complications. But for you, it was even worse because you were from  both worlds in some way, but seem to belong to neither.

You were born to a single mother, who raised you, and then passed away a few years after your birth from a life-threatening disease. At that time, your kingdom was not in shambles like the way it was currently. So despite ending up as an orphan, and without much financial aid, you were lucky enough to enroll in the local training school. You learned everything there was to know about becoming a guard, and after graduating as the top student amongst your peers, you landed a well paying job at the royal castle. Throughout your four years of working life, you had rotated with your job and taken several roles. Currently, you were in the outskirts of the town in order to pick up a small delivery, and were supposed to bring it to back to the royal castle safely.

The outskirts were quite a while away from the central and were a desert. It was incredibly dusty and hot. As you waited outside the person’s home whom you were supposed to pick up the delivery from, you could feel sweat forming at various parts of your body, and your mouth becoming dry. You decided to unhook your water bottle pad, and opened the lid. You brought the bottle up to your lips.  As you began to drink, the cool water felt refreshing and was already helping you feel better.

As you continued to drink, you heard a mockery scoff in the distance which caused you to turn towards the sound. They were hiding, but you could still see an outline of a child, and a woman, who you guessed was the child’s mother.

You felt her cold glare, and saw how she cuddled her child closer to her.

“Filthy soldiers, they take everything away from us and then come here and shove it in our faces as if we don’t struggle enough. Disgusting,” She stated icily, and you winced at the undeniable truth in her words. Although many soldiers contributed to the corruption that existed, you were not one of them. You stayed content with your pay, and your needs being met for survival. Anything spare, or more you had which you did not need, you always delivered it at night anonymously to someone you had seen in need. For that reason, her words stung and hurt you.

You were going to walk up to her and defend yourself. However, you never received the chance to because the door of the house you were waiting in front of was opened. A man with his entire face covered with bandages poked his head through. You were not able to see or guess anything about his appearance other than his strange and bright amber eyes. With suspicion etched in them, he glanced around to make sure you were not being watched. Then, he finally looked at you, and the haunting emptiness in his eyes caused you to still momentarily.

“Is there someone else with you?” He asked. You could not help but notice how deep his voice sounded, and question his odd behaviour. He was acting suspicious of you, and any other possible onlookers, when he was the suspicious one. You almost sighed at the irony, but decided against it, and responded to the question you were asked.

“No, I came alone. I was told to pick up a secretive package that needs to be delivered to the King’s personal guard and am ‘not suppose to see,’” You replied, not aware of the secret message that existed in your words. The man nodded in approval. Then, he opened the door a bit more and placed a raggy looking bag in your hand.

“Hide it somewhere where its not expected,” He said, and his eyes shifted towards your chest for mere seconds, then back to your face. Your eyes followed the direction of his gaze, and when you realized what he meant, a blush appeared on your cheeks. Your eyebrow twitched in anger, and you were going to give him a piece of your mind. But by the time you looked up, you saw that the man had already shut the door on you. You growled in anger, before you huffed, and then stomped away.

                                                          --

“Thank you [Name],” Jimin said smiling, as he took the bag  from you, and tucked it in the pocket that was inside his uniform jacket, before he patted it. You could not help but ponder on the miniscule moment when he had taken the bag from you, and how his skin contacted yours. His touch felt warm, and your cheeks redden at the thought.

The way Jimin always smiled at you, with his plump lips stretched into a small and adorable smile, and the way his eyes squinted when he did so, always flustered you. He was always so sweet to you. Jimin’s caring personality, combined with his irresistible and  attractive features, numerous talents, and every other perfection he had, made you develop feelings for him in no time. You wanted to become someone who was confident and good enough for Jimin. However, in his presence, you generally ended up being reserved and shy, because you liked him so much.

Since you were zoned out in your thoughts, you did not realize that Jimin was trying to talk to you. You only returned to reality once he started to shake you gently.

“H-Huh? W-What? What happened?” You asked frantically, with wide eyes, while snapping out of your thoughts. You audibly gasped when you saw how close Jimin was leaning towards your face, and the concern he held for you.

It took all of your self control to not implode and scream when Jimin put his hand against your forehead to check your temperature. Your face was burning hot and red but it was not for the reasons he thought of.

“Are you okay? You feel really hot and your face is all flushed. Did going to the desert area affected you this much? I should call the doctor—“ The rest of his words fell on your deaf ears. This was because you had mentally grasped on how dotting he was being over you, and realizing how much he cared for you. One thought of what an angel he was lead to another, and you drifted into your thoughts of how much you loved him.

You missed on how the doors of the room which both you and Jimin were in were opened, and the stoned-faced King that had walked in. You were also oblivious to the momentarily grimace and disgust that was etched on Jimin’s face when he saw the Emperor.

When you felt Jimin grab your hand, and tighten his grip on it possessively, you were no longer lost daydreaming, and focused on your reality. You saw that Jimin’s back was facing you, and realized that he had pushed you behind himself to hide you away from the eyes of the Emperor he was facing.

“Jimin, you’re late. You know that if you make me wait for too long, there will be consequences. You better have a good reason,” Min Yoongi said, as walked towards Jimin, and greeted him with an icy stare. Just like his eyes, his voice sounded cold too. The lack of human emotion and expression in them caused shivers to run through your spine.

The matter of the fact was that although you had heard many things about him, you had never actually seen the Emperor himself. From the time he had started his rule, and till this point, Yoongi had never made a public appearance for any speeches or conferences. All of your knowledge about him came from the discourse surrounding him and other people’s opinions of him.  You suddenly realized how you worked for the King, but had never met him. As a result, you knew little to nothing about him from himself, and you felt strange about that.

Yoongi’s threat to Jimin did not seem like empty words, and you did not want Jimin to get in trouble because of you. After all, you were only supposed to make a delivery, get approval and then move onto your next job. But you thought that due to your incompetency to behave appropriately around Jimin, and making him worry over you for nothing, simply because you desired his attention, caused him to waste his time on you. You knew that you had to be the one to take responsibility for this situation.

Not knowing the terrible future that laid ahead of you because of the choices you were going to make, and being clueless of how Jimin was hiding you because he wanted to protect you, you acted without thinking.

You removed your hand from Jimin’s grip, and stepped out from behind him. Without wasting any time, you were instantly bowed to Yoongi, unaware of the baffled gaze Jimin was looking at you with.

“I sincerely apologize for his delay and any inconveniences it may have caused you, my King. I was merely delivering a package as Mr. Park had assigned me to do, and it was my fault he was held up. I will take any punishments on his behalf that you see fit,” You said, keeping your head low. As a result, you did not see the ravening glint that had appeared in Yoongi’s eyes when he saw you.

“A delivery, huh? That’s strange because I wasn’t told of any deliveries that we were suppose to receive.  Everything that comes and goes in and out of the castle, needs to be run through me first as protocol. Mr. Park, out of all people, knows that,” Yoongi said stoically,  and narrowed his eyes at Jimin, who looked like a deer caught in headlights. Then, he averted his eyes back to you again.

“Raise your head, Miss. [Surname]. I believe that Jimin has enough experience and authority to be responsible for his own actions and not let his underlyings take the blame for him. It’s awful when the innocent pay the price for something that another in power refuses to take responsibility for. Wouldn’t you agree, [Name]?” Yoongi asked, and he looked at you with a predatory gaze that was etched with emotions and intentions you could not decipher. You thought it was ironic, and you were in slight disbelief that out of everyone, Yoongi had said those words. But as mentioned before, what you knew of Yoongi was presumptions. So, maybe there was something deeper to the crisis of your Kingdom then just a lazy King? You furrowed your eyebrows, but nonetheless, responded with a nod.

Yoongi’s lips twitched into a forced smile.

“I like to be answered verbally [Name], and spoken to only when asked. Be mindful, and remember that for our future conversations. Now, I am promoting you. Since Park Jimin will be facing execution for his betrayal, I now assign you,  as my next personal bodyguard.”

Your nerves were on edge, and heavy tears fell down your cheeks due to the things you were forced to endure. You wanted to move, fidget, cry out loud in pain, and were even willing put aside your dignity and beg for mercy if it meant your current torment would stop. But you could do neither of those things, or anything else. Without Yoongi’s permission, you were not allowed to move in anyway, speak, or respond in any other way which may convey your displeasure for his actions.

                                                         --

Your bottom lip quivered as Yoongi softly rubbed salt into your bloody gashes that he had cut into your skin not too long ago. The stinginess of it burned. It was terrifying; Yoongi was terrifying because  despite the fact that he was literally torturing you right now, he was very precise and gentle with his actions. Even when he was hurting you, he looked at you with a soft fondness in his eyes.

It was sickening.

“I don’t like to hurt my favourite toy,” Yoongi began, and he gently ran his fingers through your locks with his other hand. His words, especially his term ‘favourite toy’ that was specifically for you, were always laced with obsession. He objectified you because he loved the idea of you as his personal plaything that he owned, and refused you to think of you as a human. From experience, you knew that evidently his words were insincere, and realistically, he would take whatever chance he got to hurt you.

“But you won’t stop bringing up Jimin, and why I had him executed. You don’t say it, but I can see it in your eyes. I can see everything in your eyes — the disgust and hatred you have for me, and the love you had — still have for Jimin and how much you miss him. You hold love for him that you should have for me,” He hissed, and the hand which was running through your hair gently before, had now made its way to your roots, and clenched your hair strands tightly, causing you to hiss out in pain.

“Well [Name], since I love you so much, I’ll tell you so you can stop wasting your time on grieving for a traitor and move onto me. That package you delivered to Jimin was red sand poison he was planning on slipping in my food to kill me so that he could become the King and fix this country. Not only that, prior to that slip up which led to his definite punishment, he had made numerous attempts to kill me. Can you believe how disgusting that it is? Or the fact that you actually felt love for such a scumbag?” Yoongi said, and his words struck a nerve in you.

See, so far, you’ve handled all of his antics well enough since they were all directed towards you, personally. Additionally, once or twice, he would criticize you about how he thought he was too generous and good for you. Seemingly, his criticism towards Jimin was the catalyst you needed to finally stand your ground, and set Yoongi in his place.

You snapped.

“He probably planned to do that because you deserve it. Honestly, I can’t blame him for wanting to get rid off you. After being in your presence and realizing that you truly are the heartless monster people say you to be, getting rid off someone as pathetic as you; someone who hurts more than he cares for his people, your death would be a blessing. Jimin’s disgusting? Don’t kid yourself.  What’s truly disgusting is how you ignore the needs of your people and waste your time on trying to make me love you when I never will—“ You ranted, but were cut off with a harsh slap to your cheek. You did not get time to react to the pain or the stinginess of the slap, because instantly, Yoongi had gripped your chin harshly in between his index finger and thumb. They dug into your skin painfully, and you yelped in pain.

He forced you to meet his eyes, which were narrowed in an infuriated glare.

“Let me remind you that you were the one who delivered the red poisonous sand to Jimin, so by extension, were aiding him with the crime and I can easily have your head off too. But I didn’t. I took pity on your pathetic self just like the King before me did when he let you enrol in the academy. So, really, without the royal’s pity, you would be dead meat by now, or selling yourself to disgusting and MUCH older man just to afford food and water. You better learn to be grateful for the life I have given you,” He hissed, and as you tried to pull your face away from him, his grip on your chin only tightened, and his nails dug painfully in your skin.

It wasn’t long before your anger blinded you, and you growled. Caught in the heat of the moment and not thinking about the consequences your actions were going to have, you spat on Yoongi’s face as an act of defiance.

“At least it would be MY choice to sell myself to whoever I chose to. With you, its literal hell. Fuck off with your bullshit Yoongi,” You snapped. Subsequently to your momentarily rebellion, it went extremely quiet. Your spit that had landed on Yoongi’s cheeks trailed down his cheek. He looked at you with bewilderment in his widened eyes because he was unable to fathom that you had just done that. However, it did not take long for the realization to sink in, and for his widened eyes to turn into a seething glare.

Then, instead of hurting your jaw with his fingers, Yoongi’s entire hand wrapped around your neck. He clutched it tightly and painfully, and you gasped as you felt your air circulation being cut off. Then, he took out a very familiar small dagger from his pocket -- it was the very dagger that he always cut you with, the one that turned your reality into a nightmare.

“You had the choice to avoid this if you had only submit to me. But since you choose not to and want me to actually make your life a living hell, then I will. I’ll cut you and torture you as many times it takes to get you to love me. ME, NOT Jimin, or anyone else!! ONLY ME!!” Yoongi screamed in your face, and the fear he had inflicted in you with a dagger, rushed to your head all at once. You screeched, and tried to move away and shove him off of you, but all of your efforts remained useless.

“Open wide [Name]. Since you don’t smile at me at all like the way you did for Jimin, I’m just going to have to carve one on your face. Be a good girl for you Emperor, keep still and don’t scream,” He ordered, and your eyes widened in terror. Then, the last thing that you remembered was the tip of his dagger glinting before you passed out.

BAD ENDING  

<<previous: Gluttony [Yandere! Vampire! Jin] | next: Pride [Yandere! Artificial Intelligence! Hoseok]>> | Masterpost

okay so if I have links in this post it doesn’t show in the tags. To take the next quiz simply search up ‘world of pride’ the search button of my blog :^)

#yandere bts #bts x reader #yandere yoongi #min yoongi #yandere suga #bts suga #yandere yoongi x reader #bts scenarios #yandere x reader #bts imagines #yandere suga x reader #yoongi x reader #yandere bangtan #bts reactions #yandere kpop #suga x reader #yandere #bts royal au #bts seven deadly sins au #emperor yoongi #into the world of sins #world of sloth #ambivalent writes

[groundramon]

Actually you know what, hot take because I was talking about MOGAI discourse earlier: discourse around media (such as “anti” behavior) can be just as harmful to kids as MOGAI labels.  Not in the same way of course, the only similarity they have is that they both come from a place of good intent.

To preface this before you read my first paragraph and go off on me: I am an anti.  I am a minor.  I have been an anti for years.  I’m talking from my experiences as well as things I’ve observed on this website.  Also, if you call yourself an anti-anti or think anti discourse is stupid or whatever, stop reading this right now because you’re not welcome here.  This is not arguing that anti mentality is bad - no, anti mentality should be the norm.  I’m just exploring the possibility that it can be toxic to kids to engage heavily in this topic.  It is not toxic for kids to be antis, especially if they don’t engage in discourse, and it is NOT the kid’s fault for being dragged into it.  It’s 100% the fault of all the weird adults and older teens who normalize this kind of shit.  I’m simply recording how older antis (which, I could consider myself one despite being a minor) can create a toxic environment for minors as well.

Okay? Alright.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I express myself and my views on media lately.  I won’t get into details of how that came about, and honestly if you think you know the reason you don’t actually know the full story because I’ve discussed this with multiple people now.  Some context: I’m not a naturally angry person.  I have a tendency to sound very angry while ranting about things in media, because I have a strong sense of justice, a passion for fictional media that I hate seeing botched like that, and I have a shitty way of wording things.  I’ve realized lately though, that what could’ve started as me overreacting about my annoyance from something (I honestly don’t remember at this point, because of how deeply ingrained this behavior has been into me) has turned into legitimate rage.

I don’t like being angry.  I feel very, very bad when I’m angry.  It’s honestly worse than the lowest lows of my depression for me.  Anger isn’t a common emotion for me and it makes me uncomfortable, especially because I feel like I could easily hurt someone while I’m worked up.  And I don’t like feeling like that.  Anger pretty much makes all my mental illnesses/disorders get worked up into a tizzy and makes me feel Bad.

There’s honestly not a single thing I go into not scanning for something to nitpick.  Normally it’s just a shitpost, because I’ve tried to streamline what I watch to the few things that don’t make me mad (namely kids cartoons) so there’s nothing to really get that worked up about.  But when I try to watch any anime, which I enjoy when im sad btw because absorbing myself in complex fictional worlds and continuous storylines is very therapeutic to me, hoo boy...

Do you see the problem?  There aren’t enough Steven Universes in the world to satisfy my crave for content while also avoiding anything that ticks me off.  Hell, at this point at Steven Universe I dont even know whats going on so I’m kind of just there for the ride, but at least it doesn’t do anything as horrendous as most of the anime I’ve seen.  I may be able to pick up some silly situational cartoons like We Bare Bears that are fine, but a lot of those don’t interest me too much - and go back to the peak of action cartoons and there’s a lot of equally questionable stuff to most PG13-rated anime nowadays.

What I’m doing right now, the way I’m processing media right now, is not a good thing.  Is it Horikoshi’s fault for creating Mineta that I feel this way?  Yes, 100%; I have a right to feel indignant about a sexual assaulter being promoted in such a way.  But can I do anything about Horikoshi creating Mineta?  No, no I cannot, except hopefully advocate in the future for the banishment of pedophilic undertones in media.  But right now?  I’m a kid.  I can’t even vote yet.  I could protest, but where?  Who would care?  I don’t have a car anyways, also I’d get heat stroke.  I can yell about it online but I’m not yelling about it to anyone who needs to hear it, I’m just reminding good people that shitty people Exist.

There’s nothing I can do, so for my sake, I need to try to calm down about it.  I need to stop myself when I start to get angry, not go on a rant - or go on a rant just to get it out of my system, but hopefully work to the point where I dont have to rant every time it happens.  I can just roll my eyes and move the fuck along.

But I see people, namely older antis (usually around my age or a little older?  Maybe college-aged), act like this stuff is good, act like this stuff is okay.  They tell 13 yr olds and 14 yr olds that this is how they should process media, that they need to deconstruct media every time they watch it to be aware of who they’re supporting.

Stop that.  I agree that awareness is good, but you’re going to make these kids self-destruct any time they try to enjoy something.  There’s a difference between acknowledging flaws and still enjoying something anyways, and the overanalyzing shit that Tumblr encourages.  And you’re putting this shit on KIDS!  Literal kids!  You’re acting like it’s kids’ responsibility to identify problematic stuff in media!  IT’S NOT!

Saying that it is is like saying I, personally, am responsible for global warming because we own a van and a hybrid car instead of two electric cars.  That’s not true; even if I became a forest creature I wouldn’t make a dent in global warming.  The people controlling it are the people at the top of the food chain - the rich.  Honestly living in california has taught me that poor people get fucked over at the expense of the rich; sure we’re democratic, but tell that to the people who cant water their lawns bc the water bill is too high because of a “drought” that’s been artificially created by poor resources and rich people in malibu or w/e over-watering their lawns.

Kids can be antis because it helps them protect themselves.  But for god’s sake, don’t act like kids have to analyze every piece of media they come across.  Nobody has to do that, it’s not healthy for anyone, but it’s ESPECIALLY not healthy for kids.  Don’t guilt trip them for not giving up BNHA because of Mineta.

Be fucking careful with your words; your intentions may be good, but your results may not be.

Once again “anti-anti”s/anyone who supports that kinda shit don’t interact, this post isn’t for you.  This post isn’t about how anti community is inherently toxic; it’s about how you created a potentially toxic counter-movement because of your even more toxic behavior.  You’re far worse than the people I’m talking about in this post.  You created them.  Also fuck you.

#stormy speaks #ship critical #fandom critical #anti discourse #anti #mogai discourse #ace discourse #its not really? but im tagging it anyways bc its 1:45 am and i make poor decisions

[colorisbyshe]

so i’m a lesbian and i’ve always thought that butch/femme should be exclusive to lesbians, because they’re based in lesbian identity- but now that i found out lesbian meant bi&gay women until well into the 60s i’m doubtful of that. basically my only bother that remains is that there are terms right now that do reflect the experience of bi women/are based in bi identity like tomcat, stag/doe (i know they're not super widespread but language can evolve ect) (1/3)

i’m just confused bc like, my gf says she would like different terms for bi women? maybe it’s good to have different words because they are different experiences, since there *are* different words now. basically my question is since the meaning of lesbian has changed wouldn’t that also change the meaning of butch/femme? (2/3)             

and i have another question: after bisexual was established as a separate identity from lesbian, were butch/femme identifiers still used in bi groups, or did they “split” with the butch/femme identifiers? if they continued using them it’s obviously completely fair for bi women to use butch/femme. sigh. i wish lgbt history was easy to come by! (3/3) p.s. id like to clarify that im not approaching with malicious intent or nything! im very curious abt this discourse & i just love our history!  

How do tomcat, stag/doe reflect the bi experiences in ways that butch/femme don’t? Those words were made up in reaction to a racist, transmisogynistic, and biphobic expulsion of women and not in a genuine response to what it means to be bi. Like... can anyone even explain in depth what those words mean, where they came from, and what community of bi women (if there even ARE solid communities just for bi women) has heavily adopted it?

Like you, I’m not trying to be malicious with it, I’m just wondering why decades upon decades of bisexual history where in REAL spaces that aren’t full of tumblr idpol bi women HAVE continued to use butch/femme in ~sapphic spaces and appropriately (ie not while in relationships w/ men, not outside of sapphic spaces) should be erased in favors of “Someone on tumblr said you should use these words instead?”

Most of my friends are bisexual and lesbian women, absolutely none of them use tomcat or stag. Not to mention how fucking ridiculous these divides get when we use them to refer to OTHER women--”God, she’s such a hot butch.” Does that mean we have to assume that shes a lesbian. When lesbians say they prefer to date butches or femmes, does that mean they only prefer to date other lesbians? Should they have said “butches and stags, femmes and does” or whatever the fuck?

Especially since femme/butch still exist outside of lesbian culture ANYWAYS. Like... again, it was a part of bi culture. Gay men use it too and similar ways (not the same, no but similar).

And while I understand and am sympathetic to the desperate leave to cultivate language for your own experiences, I’m getting more and more fed up with groups planting their flag in what was once shared ground and saying, “Mine now” without any historical or cultural evidence to back it up besides “I was told it’s this way and it should stay this way.”

Especially when the reason it’s “This way” is radical feminism, especially when it’s transmisogyny, racism, and biphobic.

While you mean well and aren’t trying to be malicious, your question essentially boils down to, “Shouldn’t we maintain the tradition of this more bigoted separatism because we’ve gotten so used to it?”

In the right contexts, separatism is fine. Lesbians deserve their own spaces, language, and whatever else they want. But not at the expense of taking away spaces and language bi women helped cultivate and have lived and used for decades upon decades.

Much in the vein that I turn to bisexual who complain about some things lesbians have and say “Well, create what you want then, do it for yourself.”

I would much the same say that to lesbians who complain about the fact that some bisexual women are refusing to be complicit in the very passive but once aggressive erasure of OUR history and OUR culture. If you think you need this language, create a new one.

But butch and femme were never about the gendered experience when wholly excluding men because lesbians at that time... weren’t defined by their exclusion of men but rather for their love of women. And if bisexual women (who can, y’unno, exclude men from their lives, just to remind y’all) who focus on their love of women, prioritize it, and are, y’unno, currently involved in women and intend to stay involved in women want to use language to reflect their gendered experience of having the choice between the genders and choosing women over and over again and how that affects their presentation, their gender, their lives... can a single person given me a compelling reason for them to stop?

I’m sorry that this ask seems hostile and overly long. I’m in a bad mood (not because of this discourse but something else) and I’m also tired of being made to feel like an invader to my own history, my own culture, my own lived experiences.

#bisexuality #butch and femme #Anonymous

[whitenoised1]

→ Leaves home to attend Daewon Prep School, where he would earn a perfect score on his SATs, combined with extracurricular activities and high grades pushed him to the top of his class. Loneliness. Liked by most. Incredibly studious, throws himself blindly into his academia. Restless. Suppression. Free moments are filled with noraebang singing to ost ballads and sky gazing. → Accepted to KAIST and majors in mechanical engineering with an emphasis in aerospace specialization. Earns a name for himself. Interns under the world’s smartest individuals. Not a genius himself, but a hardworker standing out from groups of MENSA minds. Somewhere between logical and emotional. IQ measured at 130. → Completed the graduate program atMIT – America is fast-pace. Everyone is moving around him. Bar-hopping and programmed hookups. Hangs music posters on his dormroom walls, inbetween constellation maps of Capricorn. Calls his mother two times a week. → From then on, he undertook an apprenticeship program at NASA before accepting a job offering. Almost fails his first stress test. Settled down. Rejected three times for the astronaunt program. Fear. Failure. Sweaty palms, adrenaline rushes. Applies again and is accepted.

______________

full name  calls itself do kyungsoo date of birth  12 january, 87. orientation homosexual. gender  cis male. species unidentified occupation  now mechanical engineering professor at kaist university, former aerospace engineer/astronaunt for nasa. current location  seoul, south korea. linguistics  korean, english, conversational chinese. education  mechanical engineering with an emphasis in aerospace specialization and a minor in physics at kaist. aerospace engineering and physics dual masters at mit (aeroastro). financial stability  well-off.

________________

INTRODUCTION

These are memories.

He can recall spicy kimchi and tobacco from his childhood. He can recall the taste of it on his tongue and the stench rolling off his father’s cigarette pipes. Grass sticking to the soles of his feet as he explored his village, too hot summers and sun burnt skin. Fast-forward, he experiences heartache for the first time from a boy who already has a girlfriend. It takes him four years before he ever dates again. Spends his time locked away in his bedroom, singing and studying complex algorithms. He claims he will not love anyone ever again. Eight years will change that and then it won’t, repeated cycle. He stares at the night sky from his bedroom window, knows where he wants to go. English is hard. Loneliness is a constant state and he cries himself to sleep. Each Valentine’s Day, he receives chocolates and gifts on his desk. He politely declines. Every year up until he earns his master degree, he graduates top of his classes. His mother is always there in the audience to weep, her hair has changed from strong black to gray.

They’re not his, but they are his. He opens up connections to learn and to observe. Humans need purposes. He once existed to exist and was intimately connected with every piece of stellar remnants. Pulsating, thriving among countless structures. Hotwired with no individual identity, becoming self-aware through the memories and emotions of these humans. He feels contained.

_______________

The ten membered crew of the current mission include 1 biochemist, 2 astrobiologists, 1 aerospace engineer, 1 psychiatrist, 1 physician, and 2 combat pilots. The mission Praedirus-118, is to observe, record, and categorize the complex phenomena that occur upon the surface of the planet’s ocean.

FEBRUARY 12TH HOUSTON manages to make my days of rest, my Sundays, feel like Mondays. Days orbiting in the spacecraft is abstract at best, our bodies are hardwired and condition to a 24-hour daily cycle. Today, I woke up gasping for air, oxygen starvation in the worst ventilated area. I move to another sleeping location.

Calories Burned: 2092 Steps Taken: 9024 Hours Sleep: 5hrs 24mins

FEBRUARY 23RD I spend most of my days contemplating why we’re here, the astrobiologists have no idea how to even start discerning this organism. If it is that. We’re constantly trying to establish a connection with the living plasma. Inscrutable, someone says it’s nothing more than a game. First encounter and it looks nothing like our own kind. Another crew member makes a joke about how it should look ‘like’ us, that the movies had it all wrong. It was utterly arrogant to assume other intelligent life we will encounter would have been exposed to the same evolutionary pressure and that our bipedal mammalian structure was a blueprint for all life forms in the infinite universe. But how are we expected to communicate with a being beyond ourselves. Praedirus is a sentient planet linked into a hive mind. It would take years to study over all the files and information shoved away into multiple archives. Everyday, we are conducting experiments. I am no psychiatrist, I do not understand the technical discourse of dissecting it’s behaviors. I am objective – truths are supposed to exist independently of us observing them, but I do acknowledge the significance of Werner Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle.

Calories Burned: 2092A Steps Taken: 9224 Hours Sleep: 6hrs 14mins

MARCH 1ST Space is sublime loneliness. The methodology of which we prepare merely warns of it’s effects. Even surrounded by a crew and constant communication with my family back on Earth, I often feel alone. I miss my mother’s homecooked meals, my father’s need to blare pansori at all times of the day, I wonder what Niclas is doing. Unlike a few of the others, my bunk is filled with things from home. Cassettes, mixtapes made by a former friend, I am sentimental and cannot throw them out. I like singing, any music genre … and I keep old Rolling Stone magazines underneath my pillow. I am both logical because science requires me to be, but I am also sentimental and afraid. Sometimes I catch myself gazing at the planet below. Talking to it.

Calories Burned: 2132 Steps Taken: 9022 Hours Sleep: 5hrs 13mins

APRIL 10TH There’s a lot of fighting among the crew as tensions rise. I offer my suggestions and try to assist as much as I can. Stepping on toes is inevitable. I am equally opinionated, but I am not blind. We cannot communicate with each other properly, let alone Praedirus. After dealing with an unexpected radiation storm, hazardous looming over an alreadyt impending failed mission, this is threatening moral. Our experimentations are unauthorized, communication back with Houston has been sporadic. We are terribly desperate. I helped to construct together the x-ray we’re using to bombard the surface. It was my idea and any consequences will fall back on me. I cannot help but to think that we are trying to reign over the ocean. We will tell ourselves that this mission is to educate and to communicate and liberate. We will say that we aren’t here to plunder nor control. It turns my stomach. No results yet.

APRIL 18TH Today, I found my ex’s watch in the lab. I do not know where it came from. I am scared and refuse to tell the others. We plan to board pods and explore the planet tomorrow. This log will be incomplete, I am tired.

MAY 1ST We d o nt [ know ] we w il and cannot k now. The ot hrs are dea d.

Calories Burned: 0 Steps Taken: 9124 Hours Sleep: 0hrs

MAY 15TH I am back, but I am different. I called the names listed in my phone book today. There’s only 4 of them and I left behind messages. I do not recognize mom, but I know she is important and I know who she is. In my bunk, there’s a multiple photographs of Niclas and someone. I do not recognize who the other is. The back of every single polaroid reads Kyungsoo and Niclas. What is happening to me.

Calories Burned: 0 Steps Taken: 9364 Hours Sleep: 0hrs

JUNE 4TH Jinri keeps looking at me. I AM NOT HUMAN. I AM NOT DO KYUNGSOO. I AM NOT HUMAN. WHAT AM I.

I can sense deception and I feel it under my skin. She tried to kill me by placing my body into a pod and launching me into the depths of space. This is another me. We’re going back to Earth now.

Calories Burned: 0 Steps Taken: 10424 Hours Sleep: 0hrs