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#sorry

So I got a mental question for y'all

I remember when I was in maybe middle school I don’t remember developing this but I showed someone how I was able to “straightface” by just losing any and all mood at the moment. Like laughing wholehartedly one second and losing all interest and finding 0 reason to laugh. Or I would do this to help cool off maybe once. But i usually just used it to stop feeling happy. I don’t know how or why or if I’m actually doing it at all. Like if it’s something my brain made up to be cool. I’m unsure but I just tried doing this with sadness and I think it’s working. But I don’t know. Either way I’m wondering if anybody else has experienced/can do something similar. Or if they know if I’m just 100% full of horse puckey and I’m just a dumbass.

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kk just wondering! its fine if you don’t wanna say

Sorry, but if you dm me depening on who you are I might tell you if you want

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Don’t hate me

Look. Imma is blunt and straightforward. Buck can’t talk to the team because of the decision he made. Bobby wasn’t going to tell him over dinner. Athena invited him. Eddie is talking to Lena because of yoohoo character development for Eddie?? Or I don’t know dude but he’s talking to her for a reason. Maybe for him to realize he likes Buck after all. We don’t know why she’s there. But there’s always a good reason for what the writers do.

As much as I love Buck but haven’t you noticed what a toxic relationship he has with his job? “He goes through so much” Well yeah no shit. The problem with that is he’s never had a chance to fucking heal. He always wants to get back to work its his only purpose. Yeah buddy sit the fuck down you almost died.

Don’t @ me. But dude. 118 ignoring Buck? They’re people. They have their own lives to stress over. They replace Buck. Lena is displaced. She was put there to work for now. Not forever. They took her in since they had an extra place. They needed someone else. It’s not to hurt Buck or anything. They didn’t mean to.

Guys, give Eddie a break. He’s a dude who almost lost his kid and his best friend. He needs to talk to someone. And Lena was just…. there. We haven’t gotten a lot of Eddie and Hen bonding or him and Chimney. Eddie needs someone else he can ask help from.

Maddie ignoring Buck? She’s not in the right mindset to go into sister mode. It’s better this way promise.

This is really long but look guys. Everything that happens is for a reason. Everyone is going through something. Everyone is developing as a character and as a group. They’re human. Don’t start criticizing them for being that.

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Rant post. #001

I oh so fucking adore when I have these episodes of absolute misery and pain in my heart, mind, and body. I fucking hate myself and I just want to be put in the ground. I ruin everything I touch without even meaning to. Just fucking let me die I can’t live like this. I’m so sick of the pain in my heart. It’s not right to force someone in this state to live.

(I’m going to label every mini-large random rant that’s not in my yan-state I have with a number, kinda like ordering them from first to last.)

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I’m going to let my blog just run on a queue (as it has been for some time) for a few days. I’m honestly not in the right mental state to be participating entirely in the fandom at the moment. I think being on social media is deteriorating my mental health as well as holding me back from getting tasks done. Because of this, I’ve decided to place a boundary in this aspect of my life.

I’ve only posted this because there is a lot happening in the fandom currently. I need to clarify before I leave that my silence isn’t because I’m an asshole, I just seriously need a break from social media because I feel like I’m going crazy.

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