#sorry for the radio silence i was week without internet

[wandasgf]

EVERLONG. mdni. 18+.

dream girl evil universe

pairing: rockstar!natasha romanoff + yelena's best friend!reader

summary: you hadn't expected yelena's natasha to be the natasha

warnings: fluff, partial smut, light angst for like a second, top!natasha, bottom!reader, really they're just very sweet

wc: 2.5k

You freeze in the kitchen of Yelena’s apartment, seeing a redhead that you don’t recognize sitting on the couch in the living room. You briefly wonder if Yelena had had a breakdown and dyed her hair without telling you. That would explain today’s radio silence even though usually your phone was blowing up asking when you would finally be done with your classes and come make her dinner. It was Monday night and usually you’d come over to Yelena’s apartment to make dinner and watch whatever movie Yelena chose. Sometimes her girlfriend Kate would come over, but Yelena liked to keep Monday nights for ‘best friend time’ as she liked to call it. You hesitantly hang your bag on the hook by the door and close it behind you. Hopefully you didn’t just close yourself in with a serial killer or something. 

At the sound of the door closing, the redhead turns her head and your jaw almost drops when you make eye contact. Natasha Romanoff is sitting in Yelena’s living room. 

What the hell is Natasha Romanoff doing sitting in Yelena’s living room? 

The redhead is the lead guitarist and singer in what most magazines and articles are calling ‘one of the most popular female rock bands in the past twenty years.’ Even if someone doesn’t know Spellbound’s music, they’d know Natasha. She’s recently been a hot topic of the internet, having been caught on video punching one of her bandmate, Wanda’s, exes in the face after they wouldn’t stop harassing her. The video spread like wildfire, most people on Natasha’s side and other’s calling her a bitch, saying she shouldn’t get involved. You, of course, were on Natasha’s side. 

She doesn’t seem at all concerned, just raises an eyebrow at the continued silence when you don’t say anything. “You’re not Yelena.” Is what you say, lamely, when you can finally get your brain to connect to your vocal chords. “Not the last time I checked, no. As far as I can tell neither are you.” 

“It’s Monday night.” You say as if that would be any explanation at all as to why you’re in Yelena’s apartment. Natasha stands from the couch, putting the bottle of beer she was drinking down on Yelena’s coffee table. “Right,” she nods in agreement, “but that doesn’t explain what you’re doing in my sister’s apartment.” You almost choke on your own spit at Natasha’s words. Yelena’s Natasha was the Natasha? 

As if to save you from whatever wrath the redhead was going to unleash on you for being a stranger in her sister’s apartment, Yelena emerges from her bedroom. “Y/N! It’s nice of you to finally make it. I thought maybe a traffic monster had swallowed you up.” You were five minutes later than usual and she was acting like it was the end of the world, typical. Natasha is momentarily forgotten as you roll your eyes at your best friend's words. “Hi, Y/N. So nice to see you, Y/N. I’m so sorry I was a ghost today, Y/N.” You mock her playfully, ready to give her an earful for making you think she might have died today before Natasha clears her throat.

“Big sisters don’t get introductions anymore?”

It was easy to get over your initial starstruck feeling after the first couple of days that Natasha stayed with Yelena. You learned that there was a two week long break between legs of the tour and Natasha decided she wanted to come visit her sister. With no prior notice, of course, because that’s just how Natasha does things. It really didn’t take long for you to feel comfortable around her and although she had been skeptical to let herself fully relax around you, even if she didn’t show it, she eventually did. You found that you enjoyed being around her and even found yourself hanging around Yelena’s apartment even when she wasn’t there just so you could spend time with Natasha. 

And Natasha enjoyed spending time with you. She didn’t show it, much like she didn’t show most emotions that weren’t surface level, but she was excited to finally meet the famous Y/N Yelena would always rave about for the past however many years when they spoke on the phone. She would always regret not coming to visit more often, but she wouldn’t trade her current life for anything even if it meant time spent with Yelena was over the phone more often than not. She could make up for it in other ways, hopefully her sister felt the same. 

It was the last day of Natasha’s two week visit and you were both sitting on the cargo bed of her rental truck. It was parked in the grassy parking area near the picnic area of one of New York’s many state parks. It was nearly deserted save for a few families, August wasn’t exactly peak tourist season in this part of New York. You were waiting for Yelena to arrive with Kate, the blonde finally deciding that now would be a good time for Natasha to meet her girlfriend. Of course she waited until the day before Natasha left. 

You’re leaning into Natasha, your legs dangling off the edge of the cargo bed, kicking back and forth lightly. She’s leaning on one hand and letting you play with her fingers on the other. She doesn’t know if she’ll be able to admit it out loud, but she will miss you when she’s gone. She hadn’t planned on growing so close to you and she’s never had a problem with being detached before, but something about you just draws her in. If she could stay here, with you leaning against her and the gentle breeze against her skin, she would. It’s a dangerous thought, she knows it is, but she wonders if you’d wait for her to come back. Whenever that is. 

The mixture of Natasha’s perfume and the nature around you is comforting and you don’t want anything to burst the little bubble of comfort you and Natasha have created for yourselves. “Is it bad that I don’t want you to go?” You ask quietly, hoping if you don’t say it too loud then the question won’t hold as many emotions as you know it does. Natasha doesn’t respond for a few seconds, trying to come up with an answer that won’t make you upset but also won’t give you any false hope. “You could always come to one of my shows.” Is what she settles for, but the sigh she gets in response isn’t what she wanted. 

“You know I can’t.” Your legs stop kicking and you let the warm breeze brush against them as it blows past. Natasha squeezes your hand, “I know.” She’s about to say something else, but the honk of a horn interrupts her and you practically jump off of the truck, a startled curse falling from your lips as you whip your head around. You groan when you see Yelena’s car and turn to bury your face in Natasha’s shoulder, previous feelings seemingly forgotten, “Your sister’s an asshole.”

Natasha laughs, reaching up to run a hand through your hair, the feeling much too familiar. It makes a pit form in her stomach, but she pushes it down. “It runs in the family. Now, come on. I have to go all big sister on this Kate girl.” She pats your shoulder and waits for you to pull away from her before getting down from the truck. She almost walks away, but thinks better of it, instead turning to help you down as well. There’s no reason to pull away, she reminds herself, you two are just friends. Friends who have spent the past couple of nights cuddled together on Yelena’s couch while watching movies, but still, just friends. 

You both hear two car doors shut and then Yelena’s voice, “Sestra! Come meet Kate!” and then much quieter, Kate’s nervous one, “Babe, I really think maybe we should just go back. I mean she’s already met Y/N, so maybe I’ll be next time.”

Surprisingly, you’re able to stop Natasha from scaring Kate too much, but she still puts the fear of God into the brunette, promising something awful if she were to ever break her sister’s heart. Of course Kate swears she would never do anything like that and then goes on a nervous rant about how she was totally on Natasha’s side when it came to punching that guy.

The rest of the afternoon goes smoothly, you all had a good time and you almost completely forgot that Natasha would be leaving tomorrow. Until you didn’t. You had been sleeping over at Yelena’s apartment the past couple of nights and tonight was no different, wanting to see Natasha off when she left. Like a good friend would. Because that’s what you were. Friends. 

Natasha had claimed she was going to stay up all night so that when she got on the bus in the morning, she’d be able to sleep through the long drive to the hotel in Indiana. You gave some lame excuse to hide wanting to spend more time with her as a reason why you’d stay up with her. Yelena had gone to sleep long ago and you were starting to get a little sleepy, but you weren’t going to give up now. You looked at your phone to check the time: 2:46am. 

You were in a similar position to earlier, except instead of a truck bed you were sitting on the couch with your legs curled up next to you as you leaned into Natasha. “Y/N?” Natasha whispers into the quiet of the living room, the only sound besides her voice being the quiet murmur from the tv. You hum in response, eyes trained on the scene being shown on the tv screen. You were watching reruns of one of your favorite shows and although Natasha wasn’t all that interested, she’d let you keep it on. 

“Y/N.” She says slightly louder and you sit up in confusion, looking around to see if maybe you’d missed something. You furrow your eyebrows when everything is the same as it was before, “what?” Natasha looks like she wants to say something, but she hesitates slightly. “Nevermind. Sorry, I thought I saw something.”

“Nat, seriously, what?” You’re beyond confused now and a little too tired to understand the emotions in Natasha’s eyes the way you usually would. It’s a split second decision, but the resolve she’s been trying to build up for the past few days has been effectively crumbled and the question that’s been on the tip of her tongue since you asked if it was bad you wanted her to stay finally escapes her lips, “can I kiss you?”

It takes you a second to register the fact that she actually wants to kiss you, but as soon as you do you’re nodding your head. She surges forward, cupping your cheeks and pressing her lips against yours. Your eyes flutter shut and you grab at her shirt, trying to tug her closer as your lips move against each other. Her tongue slides against your bottom lip and you gasp. She takes the opportunity to push her tongue into your mouth, exploring it. There’s no real fight for dominance, you let Natasha take the lead entirely. 

You tug her down as you lay back on the couch and she shifts slightly so that she can straddle your hips, one of her hands tangling in your hair. Eventually she has to pull away for air and she’s glad she does with the way you struggle to breathe properly, fists clutching her shirt. Your breathing is labored and she would find it cute had she not realized you were sacrificing breathing just to kiss her. She almost wants to scold you for it. 

She rubs her thumb across your cheek as she looks down at you. She really shouldn’t be doing this, not before she has to leave, and especially not in Yelena’s living room, but she doesn’t know if she really cares right now. “I’m going to kiss you again, okay?”

“Please.” You nod desperately, tugging her back down and meeting her lips halfway. This kiss is much more heated and messy, the both of you more desperate for each other than you already were. Natasha bites down on your bottom lip and you moan softly, arching up into her. Her smirk breaks the kiss and you almost whine, but it’s almost like she can read your mind because she’s immediately shushing you and pressing her lips to yours again. 

Your hands slide under her shirt to grip at her waist and pull her closer to you, desperately wanting to feel her against you. The way you’re kissing is almost feverish, the both of you so desperate that you feel if you don’t consume the other it may be your demise. Natasha pulls away to quickly pull her shirt off and discard it on the floor and if you weren’t so desperate to have her lips on yours again, you would have taken more time to admire her abs. 

When she leans back down to meet your lips in another frenzied kiss, she doesn’t even take the time to pull your shirt off entirely, merely pushes it up and over your breasts, her hands finding purchase on the soft skin of your waist before traveling up. She groans at the way your body reacts to her and the little whine you let out when she slides her fingertips over the cups of your bra. 

When she pulls away again you try to catch your breath, feeling a little lightheaded from having Natasha like this. She’s leaning over you, hands cupping your cheeks as her thumb rubs soothingly across one of them. “If we keep going, I’m not going to be able to stop.” She laughs lightly, the look on your face telling her that very much wouldn’t be a problem. “But I don’t think this is the right place for that, doll. Another time, alright?”

The rest of the night is spent with Natasha whispering sweet nothings to you as you fall in and out of sleep, trying your best to stay awake with her. She promises to come back soon, even though she doesn’t know when soon will be, and that she’ll text you when she can and set aside time to call, and would you like that? Eventually, you succumb to sleep and Natasha has to slip away without a proper goodbye. She’d tried to wake you, you can’t fault her for that one. And if Yelena noticed you wearing Natasha’s shirt while you were asleep on the couch, she didn’t say anything. 

-

“I hope you guys don’t mind us playing something new.” Natasha’s words are met with loud cheers and she smirks softly, “it’s a song I wrote recently and we haven’t had a chance to play it for anyone yet so we figured why not, right? It’s called Everlong. I hope you guys like it.” She looks behind her and nods to Carol who starts the drum beat.

“Hello

I’ve waited here for you

Everlong”

#alice's fics ! #🎸🦇 au #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff x fem reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanov imagine #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanov smut #natasha romanoff smut

[thedenofravenpuff]

AAAAAA

Sorry for a week long radio silence! Technical difficulties meant my new apartment was without Internet for a week instead of just a day! 

Still settling into the new place and my scanner just finally gave up the spirit (was only a matter of time, is 10+ years old), so gonna be a bit before I can share any new art! 

But can report I love my new place, and I’m finally near family again to enjoy my retirement proper!

Just a quick update now I’m finally back online! 

#PuffBlog #Update #Status

[sonicasura]

Update

Sorry for the major lack of updates for both my blogs. I have FINALLY moved to a different state. There were a lot of roadblocks and I didn't get to move to Tennessee sadly. Also guess who got sick? Unpacking is SOOOO MUCH FUN when you can barely breath without coughing. Currently my Internet sucks hence the radio silence.

Hopefully the signal should get boosted sometime tomorrow or said week. Please stay safe and in good health.

#sonicasura #mun sonicasura #personal update

[moon-ursidae]

SESSION #4… & #5 (this one is SUPER LONG i’m sorry haha)

as always, SPOILERS for BOTH of the last of us games are below!

i feel like i have barely made a fuckin dent in this game haha so my goal today is to really get some ground. i want to finish this before i go back to school next week.

total play time:

session 4: about 5 hours

session 5: around 7 hours

i left off in a really weird spot last time bc i ended pretty abruptly so idk where it’ll put me

but this section is called Capitol Hill

it started me back a few minutes but that’s alright!

goddamnit i knew it was too quiet. there was too much short grass around here i knew some wlfs were gonna fuckin show up

NOOOOO the halloween stuff is probably reminding ellie of riley :(

i think that’s the same frankenstein statue/figure from the mall as well?

damn.

i have a feeling this place is gonna be CRAWLING with wlfs. i literally hear them already

FUCK as soon as i used the workbench

wlfs AND infected??? jfc

i at least found a card tho

THERE’S A WHOLE STEALTH UPGRADE BRANCH????

my rogue heart is so happy

I WAS WONDERING WHEN I COULD MAKE SILENCERS FUUUUUCK YEA

there’s a bunch of pride stuff around! fuck yea!

LMAO DINA “what’s with all the rainbows?”

FUCK YEA BOOKSTORE

SORORITY SECRETS💀 “it’s us right?” LMAOOOOO

that’s so fucking funny

there’s a trans flag in here too!! FUCK YEA

lmao dina getting distracted by the gay smut

OH MY GOD THE WLF ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE

i fucking love silencers holy shit fuck yea

this area is HUGE holy shit

anutha card babyyyyyy

what if i don’t want to go to the tv station huh? what then?

dude i gotta try ellie’s half up half down hair style. i love it so much

it’s also crazy how this is still DAY ONE for them

ellie saying how she couldn’t do this without dina and dina telling ellie she wouldn’t have let her😭😭😭😭😭😭

oh shit explosive trap

anutha card babyyyyyy

“i like you.” “i want it in writing.” I LOVE ELLIE AND DINA

oh my god ellie’s talking about bill

i wonder what the fucker’s up to rn

ellieeeeeeeeeeeee don’t say that shit

“you have a bigger burden that puts you in a worse position” ELLIE NOOOO

“feel her love?” are we entering scar territory? oh fuck

TOMMY’S HORSE OH SHIT

oh no dina

ellie, dina’s pregs dude. be patient with herrrrrrrr

she sounded annoyed with her when she asked if she was good to keep going. and it doesn’t help that ellie just said that shit about other people being a burden. ELLLIIIEEEEEE

had to break for like 20 min due to some internet issues

well what was 20 min turned into like more than 7 hours HAHA

and what turned into 7 hours turned into 2 days…

so i’m just gonna mash the two sessions into one post bc it’s easier and i can sooo LMAO

i’m sorry ya’ll shit has been wack and the anxiety is in full force haha ANYWAY

SESSION #5 BEGINS HERE!!

idk where it’s gonna put me bc i ended pretty abruptly (again.)

also i think my first tattoo is gonna be the moth on the guitar and on ellie’s tattoo? i’ve been thinking about it for over a year😯

OKAY it started me a little bit after finding tommy’s horse

i already have shitty eyes i CANNOT see these traps in the tall grass dude

i have a feeling i’m gonna get jumpscared in this fuckin furniture store

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYY

I WAS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK

THEY CRAWL NOW???????

damn i opened this safe just to be able to grab NOTHING i am fully stocked on everything

… i spoke too soon

going back for the med kit bc i tripped a fucking bomb…

more of the “feel her love” art

radio station WOOOOO

she really did learn so fucking much about surviving from joel holy fuck

bc if she only grew up in a community and didn’t go across the country w joel i don’t know if she would have the knowledge that she does

oh shiiiit there are some dead ppl upon this balcony

i don’t think this was tommy tho

nope! there’s an arrow in this person

i also like how they subtly tell you who killed them with the arrow. there have been no wlfs with bows anywhere. they all have firearms. tommy is always seen with a rifle of some kind but never a bow. so there’s a lot of process of elimination that can be done just from this alone. i fuckin love little details like that.

so it was scars. the “feel her love” graffiti and the wlf patrols frim earlier mentioned them. i love how this group is being introduced slowly. it really builds them up and tells you what you need to know about them before you encouter them.

i already know about the scar group so i have some insight, but the way they slowly add them into the mix is cool

hopefully i get a bow soon

onward to the inside!

ohhhhhhh fuck.

i don’t care who you are, no one deserves to be hung like that. that’s horrible.

damn i can’t even cut them down. fuck, man.

and those are wlf, so it was the scars

the scar symbol in blood? jesus christ.

and i know there’s gonna be combat here bc i see that clip on tiktok all the time of this encounter

the music is stressing me the fuck OUT

found another card tho

kimimela is fucking DOPE

although this does seem like a really comfy place to set up, it’s too big to defend dude

clearly that was their downfall bc jesus christ it is a massacre in here

i’ve only seen dead wlfs. no scars.

oh shit it’s leah

ellie’s hands are shaking :(

oh fuck there’s polaroids of all of them

OH SHIT THERE’S A PICTURE OF ABBY

god the way that she stares at the picture :(

and the music AHHHH :(

the way that dina recenters her by saying “3 down, right?”

god i love them

dina pointing out how fucked it would be to interrogate leah like tommy did to the one guy, but ellie is so persistent that she doesn’t feel it’s wrong GOOODDDDDD DUDE MY HEART

RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING FOR MY LIFE

ohhhhhh fuck we’re underground. i know what’s about to fuckin go down. and i want NONE of it bro

fuckin theatre WHEN?

this subway shit REALLY feels like the last of us

the lighting from the flares is fuckin SICK

oh shit i’m just gonna make them fight clickers and just wait it out this is great

this is some benny hill shit with the way they’re running in circles w clickers chasing them

the atmosphere is fuckin horrifying

i hate the bloater sounds that i’m hearin

it just feels musty down here dude i’m sweating

GODDAMNIT i know i missed a whole fuckin section to search back there and i can’t get back now. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

god fuckin damnit bro SHIT

THERE WAS PROBABLY SO MUCH STUFF BACK THERE I THOUGHT I SEARCHED EVERYTHINGUUUHHHH

THERE WAS PROBABLY A GODDAMN CARD BACK THERE

I’M SO PISSED AT MYSELF RN

the lighting and sound design down here is fucking CRAZY

the distant screams and infected sounds are helping to create a really tense environment

shambler?! what the fuckin fuck is that??

nope

nopenopenopenopenopenopenope

fuck that. i’ll see you guys later!

“holy fuck” is absolutely right ellie

i just dropped down. i want back up. fuck this dude. i don’t fuckin want it

fuck right off

thank fuck for trap mines. oh my god.

that cart holding open the door collapsing is a really smart way to close off the area

i want out of these tunnels bro

tbh scavenging is one of my favorite parts of the game. it’s so satisfying.

oh shit! there’s a carving of the scar woman in the graffiti. this shit is HELLA cultish bro

hmmmm this newspaper clipping about a community in the suburbs surviving seems like her origin story, whoever the fuck she is

“the community members unanimously credited their survival to one woman…” unanimously being the key word there

“she had a vision of catastrophe… ‘divine retribution’” yuuuup sure sounds cult-y to me

CARD ACQUIRED

“how’d you do that?” “magic.” “you’re my favorite.” THEY are my favorite your honor🥹

THERE’S A FUCKIN HAWAIIAN SHIRT IN HERE ELLIE TAKE IT

naughty dog yellow babyyyyyyy over the rail down below

oh fuck more bitches

again, thank god for trap mines

DAYLIGHT! THANK GOD!

but i know there’s more to come

ANUTHA CARD

bastet is really fuckin cool

i’m waiting for this train to fucking COLLAPSE dude

i feel so bad for dina

she’s leaning up against the train with hands on her knees :(

THERE IT IS

TRAIN COLLAPSE

ohhhh fuck i heard hella infected i’m gonna have to DIP

the way dina was so ready to go down with ellie too

she instantly offered to share masks

and the way she YELLS at ellie when she takes her mask off

GOOOODDDDDDDDDDD this is so fucked

OH SHIT TIME TO RUN

I ALMOST FUCKED THAT UP BUT I MADE IT

OH SHIT DINA

THEATRE!!!! MY BELOVED FINALLY!!!

there is a CONVERSATION that is gonna happen that needs to dude

the way dina looks at her arm AHHHHH

omg i do that same shit ellie’s doing w her hands during confrontation

her having to correct “know” to “knew” bc of joel🥲

oh fuuuuck dude i know i’m not gonna like ellie’s reaction to dina’s pregnancy

dina trying to break the tension w the “don’t worry it’s not yours” 🥺

ELLIE DON’T “are you fucking kidding me?”

I GET THIS IS STRESSFUL BUT DAMN

COMPASSION MAYBE?

ohhhhhhhhh shit a few weeks ago? shit dude.

i agree that it would’ve been good for dina to stay in jackson BUT that can’t change rn. ya’ll are in the fucking pnw

“well you’re a burden now, aren’t you?”

😐

🤦🏻‍♀️

ELLIE.

DINA’S FACE :(

FUCK DUDE

go fuckin walk it off ellie goddamn i love you and everything but ur bein dumb rn

and if joel did the same shit (which i’m sure he would have during the first game) i’d be mad at him too

DINA CURLED UP FACED AWAY FROM ELLIE :(

APOLOGIZE ELLIE.

seeing dina look so small from the balcony UUUGH

i feel like i’m gonna get jumpscared pt.716282

ANUTHA CARD

okay beyond is fucking dope i think she’s my favorite card so far

where’s the props table bc i’m gonna touch it and all the props that aren’t mine LMAO

the guy that was here before is definitely still here

and fuckin fried on the roof…

sorry bro

i feel like there’s gonna be at least one or two in the auditorium tho

THE LIGHTING IS SO FUCKING GOOD OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDD

“joel. you’d love watching a movie in this place.”😭😭😭

WAIT I NEVER CHECKED MY JOURNAL

hold up journal break

her shambler drawings are fuckin cool

jesus i’m getting pit orchestra flashbacks from this auditorium

THE SICK HABIT PLAYED HERE!!!

AND ELLIE GETS THE SET LIST!!!

only $25 for a concert?????

A GUITAR🥲

holy shit this guitar is pretty

FUTURE DAYYYSSSSSSSS😭😭😭

fuck dude i’m crying

cut to black???

OH FUCK IT’S THE FLASHBACK

NO I’M GONNA SOOOOOBBBBBBB

I’M ALREADY A MESS

once i hear his voice i’m gonna lose it.

3 years earlier😭

losing it.

FUUUUCK THERE HE IIIIIISSSSSSSS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I CAN SEE THE FUCKING CASETTE TAPE IN HIS TSHIRT POCKET

just seeing him standing here is making me fucking cry.

“oops.” AND HIM LAUGHING AHHHHHHH🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

“push the water with your whole arm blah blah blah” “glad to know i’m gettin through” THEY’RE SO FATHER AND DAUGHTER AND I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

i’m wondering if it was a choice to have joel not have any close ups during these cinematics

“i am very angry and upset.” I’M LABSLSBSKWVDKSVSOSB

I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH

“you need to stop lettin people rile you up” IT APPLIES TO ELLIE CURRENTLY TOO DUDE AHHHHHH

WHEN HE’S BEEN LEADING THE WAY THE WHOLE TIME BUT THEN LET ELLIE GO FIRST THROUGH THE WOODS BEFORE THE DINOSAUR😭😭😭😭😭😭

“that’s a big boy” 🥹🥹

I’M FUCKING CRYING SO MUCH DUDE

oh i’m R E A D I N G this journal bitch

CAT MENTION!!!

omg the little 3d shape sketches w shadows and the diamond thing LMAO that shit is all over my fucking school notes

THE DRAWING OF TOMMY AND JOEL IN THEIR FUCKING COWBOY HATS😭😭

HIS CONCERN WHEN SHE WAS CLIMBING UP THE TREX😭😭

“don’t jump. CLIMB down.”

*immediately jumps*

the “HEY! HEY!” WHEN SHE JUMPED DOWN😭😭

“did you see that?” “yea i saw that” IN THE MOST EXASPERATED PARENTAL TONE UUUGGGHHHH

THE PAMPHLET THAT WAS IN HIS HOUSE😭😭

HE LOOKS SO PROUD STANDING THERE

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER PLEEEAAASSSEEEEEEEEEE

HE’S SUCH A DAD OH MY GOD

THE HAT!!

HAHAHAHA I LOVE HER

i know ashley said that “actually” in a kinda jokey nerd “um actually” voice on purpose💀

“pretty sure those are velociraptors.”

JOEL SAW JURASSIC PARK WOOOO

“sorry all the dinosaurs are busy right now.” “what are you doin?” “oh wait. one of the dinosaurs is here. joel, it’s for you.” “very funny.”

I L O V E T H E M

she really had to dig the knife deeper huh? LMAO “get it? because you’re old.”

“there was a sequel. wasn’t as good.” LMAOOOOOOOOO true

THE HAT ON DINOSAURS SAGA BEGINS

“is this gonna be a thing? please don’t let it be a thing.” OH IT’S A THING JOEL.

“triceratops. at least there’s one i recognize.” I LOVE JOEL.

THEM POKING FUN AT EACH OTHER

“this one’s brain was the size of a walnut.” “looks like you two have somethin in common” PLEAAASSSEEE

i’m gonna start crying more bc this is how me and my dad are i swear to fucking god

“tell ya what.. when we get back to jackson, movie night.” 😭😭😭😭

SHE PUT THE HAT ON HIS HEAD😭

THE GRUMBLE IN PROTEST HAHAHA

TROPHY BABY

A FUCKIN CARD????

“sarah was into those for a little while. or was it the tiny creatures? i forget.” KAHSKSHSKSVWKSBSKSBSKSHAKV

THE FACES IN THE MIRROR WHILE JOEL HITS THE DAD LEANING ON DOORWAY STANCE PLLLEEEEAAASSSSEEEEE

naughty dog said “LOOK AT HOW GOOD OUR FACIAL ANIMATION IS. L O O K. FEAST UPON IT WITH YOUR EYES”

“look how thick this one’s skull is!” “kinda looks like…tommy” “i’m telling him you said that.” “please don’t. catch it in the right light, boom. tommy.” I’M- 😭

“i happen to know a thing or two.” “from a movie.” “keep goin.” ASJSHAKSBSKSB HAHAHAHAHA

H A T LOCATED

now they both have hats🥹

“did you go to museums a lot?” “yea. sarah loved em. i swear that girl dragged me to every museum in texas.” JOEL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“looks like a giraffe” BC SHE’S ACTUALLY SEEN THEM IN SALT LAKE CITY😭😭😭😭

JOEL PUT THE HAT ON IIIIIIITTTTTTTTT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“i see the appeal.” IN THE SOFTEST VOICE EVER😭😭😭😭😭😭

i’m suing naughty dog for emotional damage

side note: the way the light spills in from the ceiling????? GORGEOUS

oh fuck it’s the space exhibit

i love that joel could have easily gone over the fucking cabinet next to the turnstyle but he didn’t to amuse ellie😭

“did you know this was here?!” “you don’t like it. we can head back.” “shut up!” WHILE SCRATCHING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD BC HE WAS WORRIED?? I’M GONNA-

“joel, can you name all the planets?” THE WAY HE CHUCKLED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO DROP THE BIGGEST FUCKIN MINDBLOWING INFO HAHAHAAAA

“my very educated mother just served us nice pizzas.” “uhhh… did you just have a stroke?”💀💀💀💀💀

“daggum girl, you are smart.” 😭😭

GOING THROUGH THIS AND KNOWING THAT HE HAD THE FUCKING SPACE FOR DUMMIES BOOK ON HIS BEDSIDE TABLE IN JACKSON MAKES ME FUCKIN- KAHSKSHSKSVSKSVS

“tell me another fun fact.” AGAIN IN THE SOFTEST VOICE LIKE HE’S GENUINELY HAPPY HERE

“why don’t you tell me what you like about it.”😭😭

“all right, kiddo. now i get it.” AGAIN. SOFTEST VOICE. 😭😭😭😭

TROY BAKER WHAT THE FUCK

hitting ANOTHER dad stance at the fucking rover

i don’t wanna go in the shuttle bc i know i’m gonna be even MORE of a mess and that this is gonna end. and i don’t want it to bc i fucking MISS joel

the way he immediately jumps in to help her open the door on the lil shuttle🥹

here come the tears

“happy birthday kiddo.” i’m gone.

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HERRRRRR

HE CARES ABOUT HER SO FUCKING MUCH.

i fucking love how it looks like she’s actually in a shuttle to show how immersed she is🥺😭😭😭

and then it slowly fades back in GODDAMN NAUGHTY DOG

“i do okay?” JOOOOEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE WAY HE SMILES AFTER SHE SAYS “are you fucking kidding me?” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE PIN ON HER FUCKING BAG FUCK OFF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“whose birthday is it?” “you can’t keep doin that!” HAHAHAHA

“i want a good splash!” i love them so fucking much. oh my god.

YYYEEESSSSSSS. it isn’t a joel and ellie adventure without ye olde boost

“okay, be safe!” “you be safe!” have i said that i love them?

there’s gonna be infected in here right? has to be.

there’s an “i killed for them” written on the wall.. not creepy at all..

ANUTHA CARD WOOOO

okay jk saura is my favorite card now

“this guy needed a hug” about the i killed for them on the wall💀

“the 4 soldiers at the gate. the last one cried.” this is fuckin creepy dude

I DON’T LIKE THIS WITHOUT JOEL HERE

she has her gun out and said “oh shit” but i don’t see anything??? I’M SCARED

“the women were tortured. choked on her own blood.” this is fucking CREEPY DUDE WHERE IS JOEL

“the stragglers that snuck into camp. they just wanted food.” have i mentioned that i don’t like this?

FUCK the crashes scared me dude

“the kid who ran into the blast. i couldn’t stop him.” dude why the fuck are you plastering this shit on a museum wall

“the people in the van. we locked them in and doused it with gas.” jesus fucking christ dude.

“there is no light.” ohhhhhhhhhh were they looking for the fireflies then?

jesus fucking christ this is sad and fucked up

what a cool birthday ellie good god

THOSE WOLVES SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME DUDE

okay i had no fucking idea there was more to this flashback after the space shuttle like i thought it ended there so i have no fucking clue what’s next

A FUCKING BOAR???? WHAT THE FUCK???

“liars.” ohhhhhhhhhh fuck. it’s definitely the fireflies.

JOEL!! damn he looks good. SORRY

yeaaaaa there’s the logo fuck bro

AND THE WAY ELLIE TOUCHES HER SCAR AKSHAKSBSKSBKWB ASHLEY JOHNSONNNNNNNNN

THE M U S I C

and how it stays on that shot??? beautiful.

SEATTLE DAY 2 BITCHESSSSSS

YESSSSS THE ICONIC BUTTON UP OUTFIT YYYEEEEAAAAAAAA

LEMME SEE THAT TATTOO ELLIE

i’m gonna practice guitar tho

DAMN playing this is harder than actual guitar

JOURNAL check-in! how we feelin ells?

oofta. expected this though.

“i shouldn’t have said that to her.” THEN TELL HER THAT

i like that her writing reflects how her brain is going 100 miles a minute

i feel like dina’s doing all this tracking even though she feels like shit bc ellie said what she fuckin said :(

have i mentioned that i FUCKING LOVE dina? bc i very much do.

oh fuuuuuuuck it’s tommy

oh fuck HILLCREST? fuuuuuuck

i feel like dina should stay

yeaaaaaa she’s not lookin good dude

YESSSSS THE BRACELET

“i don’t believe in luck.” “i do.” I LOVE THHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMM

a lil smooch goodbye 🥺

I START IN HILLCREST?????

FUCK.

i think i’m gonna stop here actually? this post is already super fucking long bc i’m dumb and decided to combine session posts lmao

ANYWAY i will pick back up at hillcrest… tomorrow!

this was a longer session and i feel like i got through a decent chunk today so WOOOOOOOO

#the last of us part ii spoilers #the last of us part 2 spoilers #the last of us spoilers #tlou part ii spoilers #tlou part 2 spoilers #tlou spoilers #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part ii #the last of us #tlou part 2 #tlou part ii #tlou #mads plays the last of us!🌿 #mads plays the last of us part ii!🍃

[thegeminisage]

liz. please. can we have one tiny tiny tiny crumb of information about the undisclosed project. i really hope it works out for you and i can't help it, i wanna know! <3

bestie 🥺🥺🥺 ty for asking but this whole thing is SUCH a complex issue and

i can't help it, i wanna know! <3

AAAAAGH this is why i tried not to talk about it bc then i'm torturing people or making them excited because they think i am secretly working on a Really Good Fic and it is not like that. i'm sorry mea culpa mea culpa :( i am begging you all to blacklist it!!!

let me try to explain a little better i am putting it under a cut to hide my shame:

so, the thing i am working on is (i finally admitted it awhile back) a fanfic (NOT original work!!! sorry) BUT it's not a fanfic i am planning to post. ever. this is for a few reasons:

the fic is an act of self-indulgence. i am doing whatever the hell i want without thinking about what it will look like when i post it because i am not posting it. and if you are thinking something very kind like "but liz i trust your taste and i would love to read you writing whatever the hell you want" there are still sooo many problems such as:

if i decide to post it, i will become self-conscious about my decisions and spoil the entire thing. i'm ALREADY a little self-conscious about it even though i am only letting a VERY select group of close and trusted friends read it. so if i decide to post it, or even tell anyone online what it is, it will cease to exist. this is maybe the biggest reason. i can't have people getting all excited about it and asking for details about it and then me spiraling into self-doubt because then it will never be finished and i have tried to write it MANY times in the past two decades and i NEED it to be finished

the second biggest reason is that because i am doing whatever the hell i want, the decisions i'm making are objectively bad. i am not fishing for compliments here, i know these decisions are bad and i know they would be deeply unpopular in the fandom in question (unfortunately if i told you what fandom it was you would know immediately what it is, so i'm not going to do that, but it's not s*pernatural if that makes anyone feel better) and I KNOW i would justifiably get stoned to death by onlookers when they read it. you may think "but liz has written good fics in which the decisions made were ones i liked" (this is also very kind) but that just proves my point. i know what a good decision is and i am making bad ones anyway, on purpose, because i want to.

this presents a a huge problem because this story is extremely, extremely close to my heart, probably closer to my heart than any other story i have ever or will ever work on! and if anyone said even one single mean word about it i would simply pass away on the spot. i simply cannot allow that kind of vulnerability to exist on cas-thee-tiel's internet. to give any passing stranger the power to annihilate me? no way bro

but EVEN IF!!! i got over my baggage we have the final problem: the massive fucking size of this thing.

i'm currently averaging about 9k-10k a chapter (though i do have one 11k chapter, yikes, but also one 8k one - my spreadsheet informs me the actual average is 9761 words), and i know without a doubt that the fic is going to be 36 chapters long. this means the end wordcount could be anywhere from 350k to 400k. that is ENORMOUS. that is GARGANTUAN. this fic is a titan among titans!!! even if people who were NOT a very select group of close and trusted friends actually WANTED to read it, how the fuck would i POST it? as one 350-400k chunk? i would find that deeply unrewarding. i'd post it, and then it would take people weeks to get through, at BEST, and i'd be lucky if there was even a handful who'd make it to the end at all. i'm not normally a person who NEEDS comments to function, but the radio silence i'd get on posting an objectively bad fanfiction which could be up to 400k long would be devastating on a personal level.

so then, what, weekly chapter updates? i find that much more satisfying but HOW? each update would be asking people to read and keep up with ten THOUSAND words a week! nobody has that kind of time! AND it has 36 chapters. if i posted one every week that would be a posting cycle of NINE. MONTHS. almost a YEAR. reading 10k per week for nine months is a BREAKNECK pace. i could alter it a little - post one chapter biweekly or two chapters weekly - but then i am either asking people to keep up with the same fic for a year and a half OR i am asking them to read 20k a week for a still-pretty-long 4.5 months when they can't even keep up with dracula daily. like?????

so yeah, there are absolutely people who follow me & my fic who would LOVE to gush at me about this thing (and there might even be people who have listened to me talk enough to have figured out what it is by now, though i really hope not lol) and i am BEYOND humbled and grateful that i even have that kind of audience when i am just out here writing fake shit about other people's ocs, but i am just Totally Stumped as to how to even like. do anything at all with that.

to partially answer your question, though, yes, it is in fact working out for me! like, the ONLY reason i even make posts about it on tumblr (which is normally partially a publicity stunt because i do still LIKE comments) is because i am simply So Excited I Can't Not Talk About It. every minute i spend working on it is a hit of pure undiluted dopamine and According To My Spreadsheets at this rate i'll be writing until at least autumn of next year. it makes me unreasonably happy to sit down and chip away at this thing (i currently have just finished chapter 6 out of 36) and i look forward to being able to do so with a passion and desire heretofore unknown to human kind. it's the first thing i think of when i wake up in the morning and the last thing i think about when i go to sleep at night. it makes me want to be alive. better still it makes me want to get out of BED. i have woken up 2 and 3 hours before my alarm goes off of my own volition MULTIPLE times for the sole purpose of working on this fanfiction. so there is that!

i do wish i knew how to share it with you guys in a way that was feasible!!! cuz i know it must really suck to listen to an author you like talk about a fic you aren't allowed to read. it is not even remotely an ideal situation and i do my best to make it sound as boring as possible when i bring it up because to most people it REALLY would be. but this is where i'm at. perhaps next year when i'm all done with it and don't have to worry about it vanishing into the ether of my own insecurities anymore things will change, but i can't consider that possibility because then it will vanish into the ether of my own insecurities. i hope you can understand :( but thank you for being interested anyway, it really is so sweet that anyone would want to know <3

#liz answers asks #anonymous #liz loves writing #undisclosed project tag #im scheduling this to go up when you sent the ask to make sure you see it #since i answered so late lol #sorry if this wasn't the answer you were hoping for :(

[foxssie]

Cat studies february 2020

#cat #tabby #calico #white cat #study #painting #art #mine #sorry for the radio silence i was week without internet #yes it was a pain

[heyyyharry]

Drivers License

(inspired by drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.5k

And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about

This song is so sad and it made me cry so I had to write something about it 🤧

.

.

.

“I love the song.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N chewed on her bottom lip, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. “But?” she asked her producer, who was on the phone. “You don’t sound like you love it.”

“Of course I love it, Y/N. It’s just–” Came a pause. “Do you really want this to be the next single?”

“What do you mean? You love it but it’s not good enough to be a single?”

“It’s too good, Y/N,” her producer said. “It’s very...personal.”

“That’s why I want to put it out, Gray. It means a lot to me.”

Gray was quiet for another moment. “The media and his fans are going to come for you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Alright. I’ll call you back.” Gray sounded defeated but she could still sense a smile as he told her, “Good job, kid,” before hanging up.

Y/N put her phone away, tossed her head back and heaved a sigh. She was well aware of the trouble she’d cause by releasing this song. It’d be like showing the whole world her diary. She’d written plenty of songs on her previous albums about her relationships, too. There had been witch hunts simply because the men she’d written songs about had fans who worshipped them and refused to see them as anything less than perfect. She wasn’t perfect, either. If she were perfect, she wouldn’t have written a song about an ‘almost’ relationship. She’d know her worth and not have chased someone who didn’t and would never want her. She knew that now. So this song would be the last thing she’d give this person. The last goodbye that she never got to say.

.

.

.

“What are you smiling at?”

“Nothing.”

“Let me see,” Y/N giggled and tried to grab his phone as he pretended to fight her off.

“Alright, alright.” He laughed, reached out to turn the music in his car down and handed her the phone. “It’s the memes your fans made about you not being able to drive,” he said, suppressing a grin.

Her jaw dropped. “I hate you!”

“I’m sorry. It slipped out,” he said, laughing again. She could listen to his laugh on replay. She loved his music, but his laugh had to be her most favourite melody. “To be fair, you talked a lot of shit about me in that interview, too.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” she scoffed at the smug look he was wearing. “At least I didn’t tell the whole world about your imaginary friend that you had until you were thirteen. You spilt my secret.”

“Not a secret anymore.”

She playfully smacked him on the arm. “My lawyer will hear about this.”

He pouted, pretending to be upset. “Guess we’ll never work together anymore.”

“Acting is not for me anyway.”

Y/N gave Harry back his phone. He took it but didn’t break eye contact as his brows knitted. “Stop saying that. You were great in the movie.”

She rolled her eyes sarcastically. “Oh please, have you been on the internet?”

“You mean my fans’ reactions, right? Just ignore them.” He breathed. “I mean, I love my fans, but they could be too much sometimes. Just look at all my previous relationships. I can’t even breathe around a female without them sending her death threats.”

“Yeah,” Y/N let out a nervous laugh, hands folded together resting on her knees. “Speaking of relationships,” she ventured, “are you talking to someone new?”

She wasn’t looking at him yet she could feel the heat from his gaze as he told her, “No. I already told you, Y/N. Right now there’s just you.”

Harry turned, putting both hands on his steering wheel. Was he nervous as well? Had she ruined the moment by bringing this up?

He took a deep breath, confirming her assumption. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”

It was the same line he’d told her times and times again, and she wished she could just tell him how much she loathed it. And since she couldn’t say anything, she just nodded and focused on the rings on her fingers.

“I do care a lot about you, though,” he added, his voice heavy with emotions.

Her friends had told her that men would say things like this, and most of the time they barely meant half of it. However, she’d known Harry for years. Their relationship had only changed since they’d been cast for the same movie earlier this year. She was confident that she knew him better than her friends or anyone else. Surely, he’d meant all the things he’d said to her. The problem was, he just wasn’t ready for a relationship.

“And I don’t want to lose you, Y/N,” he said, now looking at her again.

She turned slowly and met his thoughtful green eyes. She offered a single smile as a way to tell him she wasn’t upset, even though she was, a little bit. “I don’t want to lose you, either,” she admitted.

His dimples reappeared. “I feel like it’s rare for people like us to find a connection like this, and I’ve never opened up to anyone the way I have to you. But I think now isn’t the time for us to take the risk of ruining this. Right now we’re still trying to figure out our own lives, you know?”

She nodded again, not knowing what to say.

They sat quietly for another moment, and it was he who broke the silence. “How come you never learn to drive?”

She could feel her cheeks glowing red. “I never had to drive myself.”

She’d been famous since she was fourteen, so she’d always had people driving her places. Whenever she told anyone that reason, they’d either call her spoiled to her face or give her a judgemental look that made her feel self-conscious. She didn’t have a dad or siblings, her mum didn’t know how to drive, either, and she was too afraid to ask anyone to teach her for she feared they’d judged her.

“I could teach you.”

Y/N whipped her head up and blinked blankly at him. “Really?”

“Of course,” he chuckled. “I have a cousin who didn’t learn to drive when he was young because of his anxiety and I taught him. I could teach you.”

Trying to hide her excitement, Y/N smiled. “Okay.”

“Yeah?” His grin widened even though he was the one doing her a favour. It was moments like this that reassured her that he wasn’t like the other guys who’d broken her heart. “When you got your driver license,” he said, “you can drive up to my house on your own.”

“We can even go on road trips,” she said happily, already imagining the many scenarios in her head.

He seemed equally elated, which made her heart swell. “Yeah! Wanna do it now or–”

“Let’s do it now.”

“Yeah, okay.” Quickly, he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. She climbed into the driver seat and watched him settle into the passenger side. That afternoon was the first time she’d learned how to drive. She would always remember that.

.

.

“Y/N, you’re up next,” said one member of the backstage staff who handed Y/N her mic and ran off to check on the backing vocalist.

Y/N felt her heart thumping in her chest as she clutched the microphone to her chest and sucked in a deep breath. She looked to her right, peering at her reflection in the full-length mirror. She looked beautiful. The makeup team and her stylist had spent three hours on this look and made sure that she was flawless.

Would he be watching the show tonight?

Had he even listened to the song?

It got to number one on the iTunes chart today. He must have listened to it. If not, he must have heard it on the radio or someone must have sent it to him. The whole world knew the song was for him, and everyone was talking about it. So even though he didn’t care anymore, even though he was happy with his new girlfriend, he must be wondering. Because when she’d heard that he’d written a song about her, she’d been so excited to listen to it. So could it be that he was wondering as well?

“This is Y/N performing her latest single DRIVERS LICENSE!”

Y/N took a deep breath as she got a nod from the stage director. She stepped out, soaked in the stage lights while the audience applauded and cheered for her. She stood at the centre of the stage as the band started playing and the noise in the audience died down. As a habit, she searched the front rows for his face despite knowing with every fibre in her body that this would be the last place he’d be tonight.

I got my driver's license last week

Just like we always talked about

'Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house

But today I drove through the suburbs

Crying 'cause you weren't around

She could see it even now. Them driving through the quiet night. From her house to his and back. Just the two of them. The kisses they’d share at stoplights when there was no one else around. The way he’d place his hand on her thigh just because he wanted to. In retrospect, she should have realised that he wouldn’t ever do that to her in public. Their relationship, if she could call it that, had been almost nonexistent. Maybe that was why it’d been so easy for him to move on. You couldn’t feel remorse leaving behind something that didn’t exist. How unfortunate. It’d been real to her.

And you're probably with that blonde girl

Who always made me doubt

She's so much older than me

She's everything I'm insecure about

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

She’d thought to herself that if he could write a song about someone he’d never dated, it was worth staying with him despite not actually being with him. She could not expect that a few months after that song had come out, he would be seen driving around with another girl. The girl he’d told her was only a good friend. This girl was older and perfect in every way. Y/N wouldn’t choose herself either if the choices were between her and that girl. But she couldn’t bring herself to hate the girl. It wasn’t the girl’s fault that Harry had chosen her. And it wasn’t Harry’s fault that Y/N refused to see the red flags through her rose-coloured glasses.

And I know we weren't perfect

But I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine

How you could be so okay now that I'm gone?

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Y/N wrote this song a week after she’d got her drivers license. She’d blast sad music in her car and cried as she drove past his house, wondering if he was still up and thinking of her whenever he saw headlights passing his street. The heartbreak had been confusing to her as they weren’t even together. It was funny how the whole world had believed in them, except for him. He’d told her he loved her, so why weren’t they together now? He’d said he wasn’t ready, so why was he holding hands with someone else on the street? Was it because of her? Was it something that she’d done? Was there something wrong with her? Why couldn’t he choose her? Y/N had pondered over those questions for months until she came to accept that there didn’t have to be a reason for someone to leave you. They simply lost feelings or found someone else. No one owed you an explanation.

Red lights, stop signs

I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Can't drive past the places we used to go to

'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe

For months, he'd been a ghost living rent-free in her head. She saw him in every face and every crowd, and she could even, in this moment, hear the sound of his laugh somewhere in the audience. She could hear him telling her he was proud of her, that everything would be okay. And the worst part was that, without her, he was still doing fine. He wouldn’t see her everywhere he went. He wouldn’t think about her when he was lying in bed and couldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t wonder if she missed him. Because he didn’t miss her. And he would be saying the same things he’d said to her to his new girl.

Sidewalks we crossed

I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

Over all the noise

God, I'm so blue, know we're through

But I still fuckin' love you, babe (Ooh, ooh)

There on the stage, she received sympathetic looks from the people in the front row as she cried her heart out to the lyrics. He might be at home this moment, watching the show with his new girlfriend, and seeing her cry on live television. Would they laugh at her together? Would he turn to his girlfriend and say he was sorry for how he’d treated Y/N and promised to never hurt his girlfriend the same way? The most heartbreaking thing, Y/N thought, wasn’t him leaving, but seeing him treat someone the way she’d wanted to be treated and realising that he’d been capable of doing it all this time, just not with her.

I know we weren't perfect

But I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine

How you could be so okay now that I'm gone?

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Putting all her feelings into this song had made everything seem so much simpler and clearer. And at the end of the day, Y/N believed that the whole purpose of songwriting was to get closure. Perhaps, one day, when she listened to this song again, she wouldn’t be sad anymore.

Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

.

.

.

“Good job, Y/N.”

“Thank you.”

“Love the song! You’re amazing.”

“Thank you.”

Y/N faked a few more smiles then shut the door of her dressing room and slumped into her chair in front of the vanity.

All alone, she looked right at her reflection and took a deep breath.

Her phone buzzed and lit up with a new text message.

Harry: Congratulations on your no 1 :) xx

She pondered over the words, picked up her phone, and deleted his contact.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles one shots #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #drivers license

[gukyi]

in the frosty air | a jjk drabble

summary: two weeks ago you and your roommate slept together. which would be fine, if you knew you both felt the same about each other. but you don’t. and now it’s christmas, and jungkook is still gorgeous and gentle and wonderful and here, and and you don’t really know what to do about that.

{college!au, roommates!au}

pairing: jungkook x reader genre: this is just an angst train tbh, but it has a happy ending! word count: 1.6k warnings: mentions of past alcohol consumption, this centers around everyone’s favorite capitalist holiday, being sad in the wintertime a/n: OHHHHHHHHHH *internet breaks* anyway yeah i’m back baby!!! here’s a little drabble to celebrate because i can’t help myself when it comes to jungkook. love me or we both go down coming soon!

“This Christmas is pretty fucking lame, isn’t it?”

You whip around at the sound of his voice. “Oh, hey. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I figured,” Jungkook chuckles, bending his head down as he crawls through the open window to join you on the fire escape. The temperature is freezing and the wind is stinging your skin, but it didn’t really feel right to be spending tonight inside. “Saw the window open. Thought you might be here.”

“Yeah. I was probably gonna head inside soon, though.” In the hopes that you would be curled up in your bedroom before Jungkook even got home. Seeing him lately has been hard. “How did your final go?”

“It was alright.” You don’t have to keep looking at him to feel Jungkook taking a seat next to you, crossing his legs over each other as he stares out into the city below you. It snowed a few days ago, and the sidewalks are still covered in that dirty slush that always lingers, wet and cold and black from car tires. Just being beside you makes your heart race, makes your chest tighten. “I was pretty stressed out about it, but then I just sort of remembered that I did my best and that was all I could do, you know?”

“That’s good.” You wish you had that mindset. You spend days studying for an exam and once it’s over, you spend days dwelling on all the things you might have gotten wrong. It’s a philosophy you apply to most aspects of your life. Why you did the thing you did. Why doing the thing you did was the worst thing you could have done. How you will recover from it. If you even will. 

Jungkook sighs. You turn to look at him, just briefly, glance at his side figure, and notice he’s wearing nothing but a giant zip-up hoodie. Isn’t he cold? “It doesn’t really feel like Christmas.”

“Yeah.” You don’t have anything else to say to that. It doesn’t. Which is a damn shame, because you and Jungkook spent the entire beginning of this month turning your tiny, two-bedroom apartment into a winter wonderland. You got a tree to put up next to your TV and decorated with the weirdest ornaments you could find. You hung up those dangly white Christmas lights on the balcony of your fire escape, the ones meant to look like icicles dripping from the metal railing. The radio has been playing nothing but Michael Bublé and Mariah Carey. And yet.

It’s not hard to wonder why this Christmas is such shit. Your spring internship fell through a week ago. Your parents rented a lake house and assumed you wouldn’t be coming with. All of your other friends have gone home already. And Jungkook, perhaps the last person in this whole goddamn city you would have wanted to spend time with, you can’t even bear to look at. 

“How did your finals go?” Jungkook asks, trying to keep the conversation going. 

“They were fine.” At least that torture is over. But living with Jungkook, seeing him every day and knowing that what you have done you can never undo--it’s endless. 

There’s silence. It’s like the two of you simultaneously have no idea and know exactly what to say. Like the words are lingering on the tips of your tongues but your lips are sealed shut. Opening them won’t be like a can of worms. It will be a dam, a waterfall of I’m sorrys and What nows. One week ago, in the heat of the night and in the haze of drink after drink, you and Jungkook made the worst mistake two roommates could ever make. 

“Are you going home this break?” You blurt out the words before you can stop yourself. 

Jungkook sighs. “I’m not sure.”

“It’s okay if you want to.” I get it. I’m not sure if I’d want to hang around and see me either. 

He shrugs. “I just haven’t decided yet.”

He knows that you’re staying. The two of you were so looking forward to spending Christmas together. Now look at you. Jungkook was the perfect roommate. Then everything changed. 

“Okay.” He’s probably just trying to figure out a way to let you down easy. 

Next to you, Jungkook rustles a hand through his pocket. “By the way, uh--I just remembered. I got you something.”

You don’t even have time to object before Jungkook is placing a small fabric box into your open palm, resting on your lap. You look down at the item, at the way your hand seems to envelop it. 

“You didn’t have to--”

“I wanted to.” Jungkook is firm in his response. “Besides, I got it a while ago. Figured now is as good a time as any to give it to you.”

There’s not really anything else to do except open it. Carefully, with trembling fingers, you pull off the lid. Inside sits a dainty silver locket resting amongst a pile of folded tissue paper. You gasp, your breath coming out in smoke in the cold winter air. 

“Oh my God, I--”

“I overheard you talking on the phone saying you wanted one,” Jungkook admits sheepishly. “I wanted to give it to you before I forgot.”

Fingers shaking from the cold, you pull the locket from the box. It dangles from its chain, a delicate little thing, barely the size of a fingerprint. Even on this hazy winter evening, it still catches the light.

For the first time tonight, you look up at him. His eyes are a swirling brown, a deep chocolate. They are unreadable. He offers a small, guarded smile your way, lips pink in the chilly air. “Thank you,” you tell him honestly. This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for you. 

You can’t accept this without returning the favor. Wordlessly, you get up from the fire escape, rushing indoors for a moment as you grab your gift from your bedroom. It’s been sitting in there for at least two weeks now. You hold your hand behind your back as you make your way back to the fire escape, sitting down next to him once more. 

With a small flourish, you reveal your own present. They’re drumsticks. 

“For you,” you tell him, that same small grin on your face. “Since you’re always drumming on everything. Thought you could use something to do that with.”

Jungkook looks positively starstruck. He takes the sticks in his hands, feels the wood with his fingers, tracing over the logo at the bottom. You aren’t very well versed in the world of drum equipment, but your friend in the orchestra told you it was a good brand. 

“Wow, Y/N,” he says, mouth agape. “This is... this is the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever gotten me. Thank you.”

“Always.”

And that’s the truth, isn’t it? No matter what you do, no matter what you say, you will always be there to give Jungkook what he deserves. To make his life just the tiniest bit better. Doing thoughtful things for him has never required effort on your part. There is just a part of you that will do them, because he deserves it. Because he is so gentle, and loving, and kind, and wonderful. 

You sit there for a little while longer, relishing in the brief respite of your gift exchange. It’s softened the ice, warmed the air, broken the tension. Even if only a little. But it’s enough to keep you out here, sitting next to him. It’s enough to keep you from drifting away. 

“I don’t regret that night.”

The words feel like biting wind. 

“What?” You turn to him. 

“I don’t. I’d do it again. A thousand times over.” Jungkook is resolute. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed in determination. 

“Jungkook, what happened that night--”

“Is something I’ll never forget,” he finishes. “Do you know how fucking long I had been waiting to do that? To hold you? Kiss you? To spend the night with you?”

Each syllable presses deeper into your chest, imprinting themselves on your heart. You stare back at him, too shocked to say anything at all. 

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same,” Jungkook adds on, quickly backtracking. “I sort of... got that message when I woke up that morning and you were gone. But I just wanted you to know that that night didn’t change anything about how I feel about you.”

Jungkook’s got it all wrong. You were the one who fucked up. You were the one whose feelings won’t change. “I thought you were the one who didn’t feel the same.”

Jungkook chuckles, this sad, forced cough. “Are you kidding? I’d do anything to relive that night. You’re my favorite person in this whole world, Y/N.”

If the weather were just a little bit warmer, if the wind wasn’t as dry, perhaps tears would fall. But instead, you blink back at him and it feels at once like your heart weighs a million pounds and nothing at all. “Me too,” you choke out. “I never want to be without you.”

Your fire escape is barely big enough for one person, let alone two, but that doesn’t stop Jungkook from reaching over and pulling you in, pressing a chilly kiss to your frozen lips, the heat of his mouth warming you up from the inside out. It’s cold tonight, yes. But Jungkook makes you feel like it’s summer all year long. 

You smile against his lips. They feel like home. They taste like peppermint lip balm and coffee and ice. 

“Do you want me to stay?” He asks. As if he was even thinking about going home anyway. 

“Yes,” you whisper back. 

It feels a lot more like Christmas now. 

“Then I’ll stay.”

↳ don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback! i missed you guys!

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bts fluff #bts angst #bts scenario #jungkook scenario #bts imagine #jungkook imagine #bts au #jungkook au #not me writing this because i felt like some jk college angst and also wanted to celebrate my return with more than just a text post #w: in the frosty air #DOES IT REALLY DESERVE A W: TAG??? ITS A DRABBLE

[fruitcoops]

Hey Eve how are you doing I hope you're having a good day. Could you possibly if you want to make a fic like after the disownment fic and there's an interview with Sirius, Remus or (or the lions) on how they felt and there reactions and stuff only if you want to ofc I hope you are having a good day

This isn't a social media fic, but it does include include this prompt and was combined with an ask for Sirius having a hard time in the wake of a breakdown because he was doing so well before. Please pay attention to the TWs and let me know if I missed any. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

TW child abuse (past), angst, past trauma, mentions of going to therapy, and feeling overwhelmed

The studio cameras hadn’t seemed scary in a long, long time. Sirius stared at the white floor, toying with his ring and trying not to run screaming from the building; this is for them, he reminded himself. For everyone like me who never had someone speak up for them. The metal folding chair was cold under him.

“Sirius?” There was no hint of teasing in Marlene’s voice. “Are you ready?”

He had already saved himself and Regulus. Now it was time for the rest of them. “Oui.”

“Rolling in three, two, one…”

“My name is Sirius Black,” he said, channeling all the strength and control he could manage into his voice as he straightened up. “I’m 27 years old, the center and captain for the Gryffindor Lions hockey team, and a Stanley Cup champion.” He took a breath. “And I grew up in an abusive home. Last week, my biological parents officially disowned me for refusing to go back into the closet and under their control. It wasn’t dramatic. There was no media present. There was a lot of paperwork.

“But I’m not here to talk about that.” He swallowed, and felt some of his confidence return. Behind the camera, Marlene gave him an encouraging look with a shine in her eyes. “I’m here to talk to everyone else in my situation and let you know that you’re not alone. You can get out of there, and you can be the freest version of yourself. For the next month, 1/12 of all proceeds from Lions tickets will go to charities supporting abuse survivors and those currently living in abusive situations. My story is not the only one. We can make a difference.”

----------------

Sirius laid on his back on the lobby couch, letting “Radio Gaga” thump in his ears and drown out the tremors in his body. He had never said it publicly before—as far as the rest of the hockey world knew, his family was only rumored to be strict. He had been hesitant to do the video at first despite the tsunami of questions flooding their social media, and it wasn’t until Marlene suggested the charity aspect that he agreed.

Sirius didn’t like press. He liked it even less when it was poking around in his past, and when he had to support it.

The song ended and he paused the music, listening to his own breathing and steady pulse. You’re okay. You’re done. You made it through. He didn’t feel okay.

“—proud of him,” someone was saying inside the studio. Remus. “It was a complicated and painful thing to work through, but he never wavered from what he wanted and what was best for him.”

Six of his other teammates would speak, supporting the charity with a quick mention of their own feelings in case any assholes on the internet got bright ideas about speaking for them and their feelings on Sirius’ disownment. It was insane what people thought they found by digging through interviews.

“Hey, baby.” Sirius opened his eyes; above him, Remus was leaning over the armrest of the couch with a tired smile. He kissed Sirius’ forehead, then his nose, then his lips. “Ready to go home?”

“Don’t we have to stay until the end?”

“Marlene said she had everything she needed from us.”

Sirius blew out a slow breath and stood, wrapping his arms around Remus on instinct. “This feels like it’s going to go badly.”

“I don’t think it will,” Remus said quietly, rubbing up and down his spine. “I think it’s going to help a lot of people, and I hope it means we stop getting nosy comments now that you’ve answered the big questions and made it clear that’s the end.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They walked to the car in relative silence, hand-in-hand; Remus took the keys without a word, and relief washed over Sirius in a cool breeze. He didn’t feel grounded enough to drive safely. At the moment, he wasn’t sure he ever would. The whole world was hazy outside the passenger window, blurring the city he loved so much into smudges of colors—Remus was a presence next to him, but what Sirius wanted more than anything was some hot chocolate and a long, long nap.

“I don’t feel good,” he said, hardly above a whisper.

Remus glanced at him out of the corner of his eye as he drove. “Do I need to pull over?”

“No, I just…” He sighed. “I thought I would feel better after getting this off my chest and helping people. I feel bad.”

“Can you eat?” He nodded. “I’ll make some soup when we get home if you want to lay down for a bit.”

Sirius’ eyes burned. “Sounds good.”

“Hey, baby, it’s okay,” Remus soothed, reaching one hand down to close around the one Sirius kept on his thigh as Sirius sniffled and shook with the effort of keeping in his tears. “It’s okay. You can call Marlene and ask her not to publish the video. That’s in your rights, you don’t have to—”

“No,” Sirius choked out, wiping his tears away with the back of his wrist. “It has to happen. People have to know that they can help. I—I just—I don’t know how to feel and so everything is happening at once.”

Nobody had taught Sirius how to handle Feelings-with-a-capital-f until Dumo; suddenly, he felt like all that hard work was being undone in one fell swoop. He kept ahold of Remus’ hand and let the tears slide down his cheeks as he breathed through it, keeping both feet firmly planted in some semblance of control. Remus parked the car and turned to him without unbuckling his seatbelt. “Do you want to go inside, or should we drive for a bit?”

“I really want to go to bed.”

“How can I help?” Remus laced their fingers together again and Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. “You really don’t seem alright, love.”

“I’m not, and I don’t know how to fix it.” The words were broken glass in his throat. “I was doing so good. I don’t know how to go back.”

“Oh, baby,” Remus murmured, taking his seatbelt off to kiss Sirius’ temple. “Let’s go inside, yeah? You’ll be more comfortable there.”

Sirius nodded mutely, still pressing his lips together to stifle any sounds that tried to come out. It always seemed like when he started to cry, he couldn’t stop—whether that was a function of never crying for the majority of his life, he didn’t know, but it always felt horrible. No mistakes, his mother had told him. The video felt like a mistake. Still, he knew he couldn’t ask them to take it down. There were people that needed help, and he couldn’t let his childhood hide in the shadows anymore.

Remus turned as if to hug him when the door closed behind them, but Sirius slipped past and headed straight for the stairs. Sweatpants, hoodie, soup, blanket, talk. Talk, talk, talk until you can’t stop. Then sleep. He heard Remus moving around in the kitchen as he stripped down and dug his softest sweatpants out of the drawer, followed by Remus’ most worn-down and oversized Wisconsin hoodie that he always wore when he didn’t feel well. Sirius buried his nose in the neckline and inhaled deeply; the familiar scent soothed the rush of blood in his ears.

He didn’t bother with socks and made a beeline for the couch, wrapping himself in the afghan blanket one of Hope’s friends had crocheted for their wedding. Hope had kept it in the Lupin house so she wouldn’t forget to bring it with her, and it smelled like them, too. It smelled like safety and a happy house and healthy childhoods.

Another tear slipped out when Remus set down some water and the soup—Campbell’s chicken noodle, can’t go wrong—and Sirius curled up against the armrest to make room. “I need to talk to you,” he said. “I need to talk to you.”

The cushions dipped as Remus sat next to him and crossed his legs. “About what?”

“Everything.” His voice broke. “The way I grew up, everything about it. I—Re, I never lied to you, I promise. I just didn’t talk about it because I didn’t want to scare you, but I have to be honest with you.”

“…alright.”

Sirius took a shaky breath; his mouth was dry, and salty at the edges. “My parents—my parents hit me when I wasn’t good enough, and nothing was ever good enough unless I could do it again, and again, and again—”

“Sirius—”

“—and I thought everyone on my team didn’t get dinner if they didn’t get a goal and—”

“Stop—”

“—and Regulus and I, it was like we couldn’t breathe in that house with them scripting every move—”

“Sirius.” Remus’ hand covered his mouth and Sirius closed his eyes as a sob ripped free, but didn’t fight it. “Sirius, stop, please.”

“I have to tell you,” he said hoarsely, trembling from head to toe. “I have to be honest with you.”

“I love you, and I’m glad you can talk to me, but I’m not the person you have to tell.” Remus’ voice was thick with tears. “Being honest with me doesn’t mean telling me every detail, please, please don’t do that.”

“I couldn’t make mistakes,” he blubbered, leaning into Remus. “What kind of fucking freak tells a child they can’t make mistakes?”

Remus shushed him softly, running a hand through the hair at the nape of his neck as he went boneless into Remus’ chest. He could feel the hitching breaths under his face and regret reared up, but he felt so empty. There was so much more he could tell Remus and nothing he could say. “I love you,” Remus began, sniffling slightly. “I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Because I love you, I’m going to tell you that I am not the person you need to tell all this to right now. You should talk to someone who knows how to help, like Heather.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius whispered.

“No, I understand.” A kiss pressed against the top of his head. “And I’m not upset at you. Both our emotions are running really high. I just—this isn’t blaming you or to make you feel bad, but it hurts to hear all the horrible things that happened to you. I already wish I could have stopped it before it happened, but hearing you say it is a lot worse than thinking about it and I wasn’t ready to hear everything.”

“That’s not everything.”

“I know.” Remus’ voice cracked. “I know, and that’s the worst part. This video was a bad idea, I should call—”

“No, no, don’t do that.” Sirius caught his wrist as he reached for the phone. “The video isn’t the problem. It will help people. It’s just hard for me to talk about it without getting overwhelmed.”

Remus hesitated, but left the phone alone and hugged Sirius close again. “I’m here.”

“I know.”

“And I’m not gonna leave.” His chest rose and fell. “But—but if you need to tell me things, not just today, please give me fair warning first.”

“I will,” Sirius promised. They sat quietly for a moment before he sat up and pulled the soup bowl into his lap, letting the steam roll over his face. “Mon dieu, I was doing so good before this. It’s been the best two years and now…”

“Now it’s going to be better,” Remus filled in when he trailed off. A slender hand tucked his hair behind his ear. “It’s going to be better, Sirius. For you, and for lots of other people that you’re helping. But this is the hard part.”

“This is the really, really hard part,” he agreed, taking a sip of broth. It was the perfect temperature. “Thank you.”

“It’s just soup.”

“No, for everything. Everything you’ve done for me.” he rested his head on Remus’ shoulder, then left a lingering kiss on his cheek. “I love you more than I can say.”

A wry smile tilted the side of Remus’ mouth up. “In English or French?”

“Both,” Sirius half-laughed. “Both, I promise. I’m going to finish this, and then can we take a nap?”

“That sounds perfect. Make sure to drink your water, too.”

It would not be an easy evening, or an easy night, or an easy anything when the video came out. But he would work through it, and he would remember what he had learned from his family and his friends to move past the roadblocks his childhood always created. He would call Regulus, they would cry together, and they would be okay. He would be okay.

#sirius black #remus lupin #coops #marlene mckinnon #vaincre #sweater weather #my fic #fanfic #interview #lumosinlove #disownment #child abuse #overwhelmed #hurt/ comfort #angst

[nefskullcritique]

Colter, my mental health, and the blog.

Hey, guys. Sorry for the sudden radio silence. There’s a few things I need to go over. This past week has been a literal nightmare for me and my friends. There’s a few things I need to go over just to be transparent with you guys. 

Here is a mirror for all of the images in this post, for easier viewing.

I’m only talking about Colter, because according to these two asks, Colter does not respect me enough to also not talk about our conversation publicly as well. If I promise not to talk about something publicly, I expect the same. Mutual respect. Especially since, according to the ask, they mentioned it to give the streamer a laugh. This situation isn’t funny. I no longer see Colter as a victim.

When we first talked, they were very understanding, kind, and willing to speak with me. They were surprisingly nice to me, despite everything. It was,, nice! I enjoyed talking to them. At first. I’d explained to them why I thought they were a victim, in my own words, 

They explained their reasoning, and we continued to speak for a while. Eventually getting into Kardia, and other stuff.

Eventually it got to a point where I had to take my break, and I made this post.

I know Colter sent me a message after we spoke about Kardia, but I was so overwhelmed at the time I had to log out of the blog’s discord. I didn’t check the discord account during my break or while I logged on the couple times to answer an ask or two or reblog stuff. 

I check back on the discord account, see Colter’s message, they were asking me if they could explain why Bones shouldn’t have to reach out to their victims and why their victims should go to them, and I assured them that they didn’t need to ask to explain themself, while also saying that it isn’t right for a victim to approach someone they are literally afraid of. My own words, 

so after this, this is where things are going to get harder to talk about for me. mentally.

i’d misread an ask and brought it up to them, which i apologized for misreading. Colter may have realized that I wasn’t stable, or maybe they were confident after the livestream of my blog.

But they were acting like a completely different person. they were very mean, very forceful, and very not understanding. it was like they were trying to back me into a corner. 

i’m sorry, but i have to show screenshots just so you guys can see this. I’m very sorry for breaking my promise, Colter, if you’re reading this. But I now understand that the entire encounter triggered me and left me unable to think properly. 

So, essentially, by saying one thing that I wanted, but was not acting towards, it discredited my blog. They didn’t understand that what my personal wants does not reflect my actions. I was not seeking to actually remove Bones from the internet, and I feel like Colter may have known that, too. They perhaps just wanted a reason to challenge me.

And, their last comment, which broke me and forced me to silently unfriend them, “is this conversation going to continue..... so that i am not waiting for days without a word again.” they are being severely inconsiderate against the fact that I had taken a literal hiatus from the blog and all things associated with it.

I was very distressed during this entire conversation. I had just woken up, and I needed to get to work. I’ve been having serious anxiety yesterday and today. This conversation above was enough to make me see that Colter is too far into it. Maybe they were a victim before, but they’ve been with Bones for a very long time that perhaps they think this type of behavior is okay? I know that, when I had my abuser in my life, I thought that a lot of toxic behavior was okay, and that I was not a good person back then. 

I realized today that this conversation was a lot like an experience I went through in the past. I was not able to defend myself, and I fell back into that hole where I couldn’t think straight. It was like being sent into six years in the past.

About my mental health, like I said, I’ve been severely anxious. This past week has been horrible, not just because of Bones or Colter, but because everything we’re trying to do and everything I’ve been working for just has been a nightmare. I don’t understand people who brush real abuse aside as “not relevant,” while I literally talk to a friend of mine, who I helped realize that Bones had gaslit them. That their trauma was valid. That they still are trying to get over the affects of what Bones did to them to this day. 

I want to be strong for you guys. I want you guys to know that I’m capable of doing this. But that’s also a lot of pressure for one person. That’s a lot of pressure for someone who has major anxiety and depression. 

I also don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to guilt trip or suicide bait. There is no way I am actually capable of trying to commit, but I do experience being suicidal, and I do experience self hatred. This isn’t healthy, even if I do give myself breaks. This is starting to bleed into my actual life and people around me are starting to notice that I’m not quite alright. 

So that brings us to this blog. I’m not deleting the blog, though I did consider it. That would be giving Bones what they wanted, and it would also follow the old trend of Bones blogs being deleted, and everything being lost. That’s not what I want.

There’s the options of giving the blog to someone else, but I don’t want to give it to any random stranger, and I wouldn’t wish this pressure on my friends. On people I care for and have supported me and each other.

There’s the option of archiving the blog. Keeping it on hiatus, and reviving it until Bones shoots themself in the foot again, which, I’m pretty sure will happen again sometime. The only reason Bones is trying to “show” people that they changed is because of my blog, and because of us. If we weren’t shown the fact that Bones had lied about “killing themselves or checking into a mental hospital,” in their own words, instead of apologizing, we wouldn’t be here. Bones wouldn’t have rebranded and be where they are now without the existence of this blog.

So, the choice is that, I’m going to be taking down the link to the archive, reorganizing it and adding more context so it makes sense, and then putting the blog on a hiatus until Bones gets themself into trouble again, whenever that may be. 

I really appreciate you guys for sticking around, and I hope that, after I get the new archive up, you’ll be around still. 

#mod ven #long post

[fablesoffantasy]

She Sings When She’s Sad

Summary: When Steve confuses what he thinks is happy singing for hurting, he's there to help whether you want it or not.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Female Reader (could be romantic or platonic, you decide)

Warning(s): Angst, hurt/comfort, seasoned with a little bit of the world feeling heavy. If there's anything I missed please let me know!

---------------

Steve made his way down one of the numerous halls of the Avenger’s Compound, focused on the documents in his hand, a useful habit he maintained from the forties. The ability to walk and read without bumping into anything. However a distant voice and music pulled the captain from his report, both feet still as he came to a halt. The upbeat tune fluttered from your room where the door stood slightly ajar. Steve didn’t dare invade your privacy by peaking inside, no, he simply stood and listened to you sing. He assumed it was a favorite of yours since he recognized the rhythm as you sang in time to the lyrics. It was the type of song you sang under your breath when you thought no one was listening.

Steve couldn't help but smile as he continued down the hall, disappearing into his office for a small time to file paperwork and such. He didn’t emerge again till about lunch time where he found Wanda and Vision in the kitchen. The android had a passionate determination to master the art of Sokovian food, so sometimes he and Wanda would occupy the kitchen for hours baking and cooking. 

“What is it this week?” Steve asked with a curious grin.

Vision looked up from the instructions Wanda had given him, “A deep-fried dough traditionally served with garlic oil, sour cream and I believe, grated cheese?”

“Lángos,” Wanda translated with a chuckle. “Want us to set one aside for you?”

Steve nodded then took a moment to watch the interaction with soft eyes, it always did him good to see teammates- lovers, in this case, get along. While he brewed himself a cup of coffee he couldn’t help but drift back to the music three halls down.

“She has a beautiful voice,” He commented while leaned against the counter and stirred a spoonful of sugar into his coffee. 

A frown chased away her smile and her shoulders sank, “Is she singing?”

“She is, I heard her on my way down the hall, why the concern?” Blonde brows furrowed as he took a sip from his mug, blue eyes locked on the scarlet witch.

“Well, she uhm,” Distress made itself painfully aware as she fidgeted with her rings, “She sings when she’s sad.”

Steve’s face fell at the news, how did you hide it so well? You seemed to be in genuine, good spirits when he passed by. Now it begged the question of did he give you space or try to talk with you? Steve knew you could be even more stubborn than Bucky when it came to expressing bottled up emotions. Vision seemed to catch onto the Captain’s thoughts as his words broke the silence.

“According to the internet, Scientific studies show that singing when depressed helps to release endorphins,” The Android informed.

Ocean eyes landed on Wanda with a perked brow, “She gonna be okay?”

“You can try talking to her,” Wanda offered as she resumed cooking. “I can’t promise she’ll actually open up though.”

After finishing his coffee Steve set the mug in the sink and made his way back down the hall he’d come from. A nervous hand combed through blonde locks as he tried to figure out what he would even say to you. Listening wasn’t necessarily one of your strong suits, since you tended to disobey orders left and right without a care in the world.

Three knuckles rapped against your door, music still echoing from within, he leaned into the door, and called out your name.

No response.

“Friday, can you let her know I��m outside?” Steve stood straighter, rested his hands on his belt, he wouldn’t just barge into your room without permission.

“Apologies, Captain Rogers,” Friday replied. “But all communication is currently disabled, per her request.”

A low growl rumbled in the soldier’s chest. So you weren't giving him a choice. With a sigh he knocked again before capturing the knob, he wedged the door open, and called out to you again. Steve swore his heart ripped in two when he laid eyes on you.

Anger rattled your posture as you stood in front of your mirror with a vengeance, like it had said something offensive. Both hands gripped the black framing so hard your knuckles drained of color, Steve could see you glaring at your reflection, lips threatening to break into a frown. Despite the change in behavior, you kept singing, the melody no longer bright and upbeat. Replaced instead with an odd monotone that somehow still sounded beautiful to him. A sound which haunted and captivated him all the same.

A tear dared teeter at the corner of your eye, threatening to fall. Both eyes screwed shut as you beat your fist against the wall and pressed your forehead against the glass. Careful and quiet, Steve reached for the remote to your radio and cut it off.

You whipped around and took a breath, composed to appear as your usual happy-go-lucky self, “Hey Eagle Scout.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Steve offered a smile as he leaned against the doorway. “Just wanted to say you have a beautiful voice.”

“Look at you being forward,” You teased with an eye roll, plopping down unceremoniously onto the bed.

Steve took a step forward and shut the door behind himself, the captain gestured to the edge, “mind if I sit?”

You could never tell him no, even if you'd never openly admit to it. So you pat the empty spot and never took your eyes off him. Captain America didn't necessarily make it a habit to visit you, so when he did, it was assumed you'd gotten into some form of trouble. Not that it bothered you in the slightest. Steve sat down and intertwined his fingers, his jaw clenched slightly, and he swallowed.

“Here to slap me on the wrist for being a bad girl, captain?” You teased.

Steve cracked a smile and shook his head, “Depends, you get in some kinda trouble I don't know about?”

“Well,” Your nose scrunched as you twirled a lock of hair around your finger, “You didn't hear it from me, but someone has been taping air horns under rolly chairs in the briefing room.”

“Is that so?” He chuckled.

As much distress as your pranks caused him, Steve knew you meant no harm in them, so he let you get away with them. A sliver of silence danced around the room as you watched each other. Steve analyzed for any sign of sadness Wanda had mentioned, while you simply watched Steve watch you. A small, coy smile pulled at your lips as you laid on your side, propped up on an elbow.

The question had to be answered, “What's the real reason you came to see me?” 

Steve glanced at you before looking to the floor with a small shrug, “Well, I may or may not have been told you tend to sing when you're sad. So thought I'd come check up on you.”

“Well, I'm awful sorry to disappoint,” You snorted with an eye roll. “But I'm not a damsel in distress. So I got nothin' for ya, feel free to leave whenever.” 

A part of him understood the need to put up a front. Self-preservation was common instinct, yet another part of him however zeroed in on the lie with slight annoyance. Steve Rogers was ever an honest man, lies had no place at his table. “And if I don't believe you? Come on, please, don't lie to me. I just want to help.” 

Daggers danced in the back of your eyes, “Looks like you're shit outta luck because I didn't ask for it.” 

Steve tried to keep a level head, he put up with Tony's stubbornness on the daily. Yours stubbornness was a pebble in comparison. He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off before a single word passed his lips.

“If you're going to give me the sharing is caring lecture don't waste your breath,” You snarled as you turned your back to him. “Don't you have anything better to do?” 

Instead of the previous aggression you'd thrown at him, Steve watched you shut down completely. Curled up into a fetal position, arms wrapped tight around your knees, and shoulders stiff as a board. No words could make the situation any better, he knew that. So he let the silence fall again. Steve would stay within arms reach so if you needed someone to lean on, he’d be there. You never once cried in front of anyone on the team, so when he heard you sniffle, his jaw clenched and he kept his eyes averted. Knowing the last thing you wanted was to be seen as vulnerable.

“I’ll give you some space,” He murmured as he stood.

Just as he started to rise from the bed, Steve felt a tug on his wrist. 

Your hand held his wrist hostage, when he stole a glance from over his shoulder, the captain felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. You looked so small huddled together at the center of the bed. The oversize sweater didn’t help any. Steve sat back down and turned to you with a small smile. His hand wrapped around yours.

“Talk to me,” He whispered with encouragement. “What’s goin’ on?”

A single tear slipped down, “I…I-”

Steve brushed the tear away with the pad of his thumb, “Shh, hey, hey it’s okay.”

You choked on a sob, the hand around his wrist tightened, and you hid your face in his palm. Steve slipped an arm around you soft and slow, like he didn't want to startle you. With a gentle hush he pulled you against his heartbeat. A large, warm hand smoothed your hair and he rested his chin atop your head.

Steve reached for the remote to cut the radio back on, soon a tune filled the air, but the pain lingered. So he held you through it. He shielded you from the monsters hellbent on tearing you down. Steve started to sway in time to the music, the hand in your hair moved up and down your back. Sometimes he'd stop to draw a circle between your shoulder blades before picking up the motion again, determined to set your mind at ease. It worked because the longer you stayed in his arms the safer you felt. So you rested your head against his chest and listened to him hum along to the music.

#marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #captain america x female reader #angst #hurt/comfort #singing #marvel fanfiction

[wastelandcth]

best years - cth

summary: dovey and calum go through a rough patch, leading dovey to believe she gave up her best years. 

author’s notes: hello everyone...this is angst and part one out of two. good luck! inspired by this tik tok. 

warnings: angst and sad overall

masterlist || request || more doves

I’ve got a million reasons to hesitate and baby a million more are added every day.

Dovey had always been there for Calum. She'd been there through the drama that came along with being in a well-known band. She'd been there through the highs and the lows, through the rumors and controversies. Dovey had stuck through everything and every day it seemed like more and more came into light, like the man she had fallen in love with became a stranger. Suddenly, Calum was no longer her best friend who would tell her everything, he was the stranger in her bed who hardly was around. 

The fight hadn't been intentional. Most of the time, the Doves would talk anything out. Whether it be a disagreement over something small like where the pillows on the couch should go or whether it was something big like how their lives would be affected by the latest album release. This time, it was different, stubbornness and yells meant that Dovey found herself in a lonely bed while Calum locked himself away in his office. And with only a few days left before Calum left for tour with no plan on when or if Dovey would join him, the Doves went to sleep in different beds. 

It had started when he'd left for tour. Usually, Dovey would drive him to the airport and stay until the band's flight was called and she had given him one last hug until they were reunited again. This time, Calum had suggested saying their goodbyes at home that it would be the best since there would probably be a lot of fans at the airport. Although she wasn't too please with their break from tradition, Dovey found herself hugging him on their doorstep, whispering a soft I love you before the man she loved stepped into the car that had been waiting. 

The next time Dovey realized something had changed, she had been on facetime with him. He'd seemed distant, his eyes drifting off from the screen and his interest in whatever conversation he and Dovey were having being torn away at some joke Michael had told. Dovey thought he might've noticed something was off when she had hung up on the call, hoping he'd call her back and she could claim it was an accident, but her phone never rang again that night. It felt like the harder Dovey tried to connect with the man who was an ocean away living his dream, the more she realized exactly how disconnected they were becoming. 

I spent so much of me on you I forgot who I became.

The longer that Calum was away on tour, the more Dovey found herself. Days that would've been spent alone in a foreign city while Calum was in a radio gig were now spent with friends in the city she'd learn to call home. Mornings, where she’d usually wake up in a cramped bunk next to a grumpy Calum, were spent taking Duke on a hike and clearing her head. 

One day after she'd gotten home from the grocery store, a pang in her heart threatened to ruin the good mood she'd been in when she saw Luke's partner post a picture of them all in front of some monument miles away. But with a shake of the head and a double-tap on the screen, Dovey put some music on and danced the tears away. It wasn't until later that night when her mind was awake that she clicked on the picture again, finding those brown eyes she'd fallen in love with two years ago staring back at her. She could tell something was different, that the smile he had on didn't reach his eyes and his eyes didn't shine like they normally did when he was having the time of his life. But things were different now, and Dovey wasn't going to let her life revolve around him as she did before. If he wanted to talk to her as much as she wanted to talk to him, he would've called. He had her number and for some unknown reason, had decided to not use it. 

Finally found a reason to walk away. 

The final straw had been a picture. Dovey had been used to seeing fan meetings on her social media, smiling fans grateful to have been able to meet Calum and talk to him for even just a second. But the second a video of him had started circling around the internet and made its way onto her screen, Dovey had just about had enough of the stupid shit Calum had been putting her through the last two months. She understood being too busy for at least a phone call or text. Touring was hard work and Calum was known for pushing himself to the limit. She understood wanting space from one another that maybe this tour was something Calum needed to do on his own in order to clear his mind and think about what their relationship meant to him. But the one thing Dovey wouldn't stand by his side when he was the one that had been telling people she was the one who hadn't wanted to join him. She wasn't going to stand by his side while he told his bandmates and the rest of the world that she hadn't wanted to join him because she was being dramatic. If Calum wanted drama, Dovey could be dramatic. 

The house that I built you made it a mess. 

Dovey had been out of their house, the house that had been filled with memories of them and their love, for about two weeks now. Duke had joined her in the passenger seat of her car that sunny afternoon when she had stuffed all her belongings into the back seat and rode off out of the city. Her parent’s house that brought along the comfort and warmth she had been craving for months was a few hours away and far enough away that any reminders of Calum could be put aside. The small town she had left all those years ago brought her peace and gave her the space she needed from whatever waited for her back in LA, if anything even did wait for her. 

Her mother had met her in the driveway, a tight embrace and promises of better times made Dovey's heavy heart lighten up as she saw her childhood home still pretty much the same as the day she had left it. The living room still had candles everywhere and the tv was playing the same movie channel her mother loved to watch on her days off from work. The kitchen was still stocked with snacks and fruits that seemed too real to be fake. And the backyard was still a playground for any and every dog Dovey had brought home, even Duke who had settled on laying in a sunspot to nap. 

Her bedroom had brought on a new set of challenges, the posters on the walls and the albums on the shelves brought tears to her eyes as she saw those brown eyes looking back at her. He'd be back in their house soon. Dovey wondered how he'd react to find himself in an empty house. What he would think of when he saw the letter she had left him on the kitchen counter since at that point any attempt to call or text him was met with radio silence. He'd probably try to call her at that point, she hoped, but only to see where Duke was or he'd get Ashton to do it for him. Dovey wasn't too sure about anything when it came to Calum anymore. She wasn't sure if he would even care that she had left the gold band on the counter next to the letter or that she had left her keys to the house in the little ceramic tray they had painted on one of their dates so many months ago. 

I’m left with broken pieces can't help how I ran out of tears.

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since the tour had ended and Dovey hadn't heard from any of them. She hadn't heard from Calum since before she'd left the house almost a month ago and she hadn't even gotten a text message from Luke, who would update her on what had been going on during the tour. It was been one week since Dovey had run out of tears. One week since she had decided that leaving was the best option and that she had made the right choice. 

It had been a week since she realized just how much of herself she'd given away to Calum only to have nothing left for herself. It took her two weeks to realize that if he had wanted to talk to her, he would. If he had wanted to see her or even Duke for that matter, he would've driven to where she was. So when her tears were dry and the pain in her chest was nothing more than a dull pressure whenever she thought about him, she began to fix whatever broken pieces she could. 

It began when she packed away all the old posters that hung on her wall, the smile on every single one leaving her breathless like it always would when she saw it in person. The sparkle in his eyes bringing fresh tears to hers, tears that she would blink away and continue on with taking him out of her life. By the time her childhood bedroom was nothing more than the furniture and bare walls, Dovey felt lighter than she had in months. It didn't last long. As sleep called her name and her eyes closed, Dovey was brought back from whatever dream she was about to enter when the buzzing noise went off next to her head.

I'm sorry. 

I lost all my best years just missing my best years. past love burned out like a cigarette im free now baby all I regret are my best years. 

Sitting in the living room, watching back old family movies and nursing the drink in her cup, Dovey couldn't help but feel like an idiot. She'd given Calum the best years of her life. Gave him all the good times and shared the most wonderful moments with him all for him to leave her with silence and no explanations. She'd gone through the stages of grief, had tried to make her new life without his work, and then he had shoved his way back in with no warnings in the middle of the night. 

The text message hadn't been the only thing Calum had sent, no matter how hard Dovey had wanted it to be. He'd sent her a voice note, a five-minute ramble where his accent had gotten too thick for Dovey to try and decipher what he was saying through the tears and sniffling. He'd apologized for the silence, apologized for the lies, and even apologized for forcing the silence he'd caused from the rest of the band. But Dovey wasn't going to just let him into her life so easily, she wasn't going to let him in after the months of silence and heartbreak. She'd lost all her best years and she needed to find herself again before she could ever consider letting Calum have more of the best of her. 

taglist:  @hoodhoran​ @finelliine @moonlightcriess​ @dinosaursandsocks @mxgyver​ @calpops​ @karajaynetoday​ @notlukehemmo​ @calumrose​ @devilatmydoor​ @lyss-xo​ @lowkeyflop

#calum hood blurbs #calum hood imagines #calum hood fics #calum hood oneshots #calum hood x reader #5sos blurbs #5sos imagines #5sos fics #5sos oneshots #5sos x reader #calum hood #5sos #5 seconds of summer #gemma writes

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Tis the Damn Season

Chapter Five- Santa Baby

Hello, I took a couple weeks, because life can be busy, and mine is changing, but here is a little 🎁!

Thanks to @dirtystyles, she’s the real gift!

"What are you wearing?"

"I'm sorry, but what?"

 It was all she could think to say. Emma hadn't heard from Harry in months. In August he had sent her a random picture of him in a collar with long hair. She knew he had chopped his hair months ago, it had caused an internet flurry and was one of the few times he'd emerged from hibernation. She might be miffed that his year-off apparently didn't include visiting her. Not that she had asked him to.

She'd never ask.

Emma might also be incredibly miffed that he had cut off his glorious hair. She'd rocked herself to sleep many a night thinking of the way it felt trailing ver her chest, then stomach, in the crevice of her thigh. The crunch and silk of it between her fingers when she got it between her fingers at the end of that path or when he was rocking her to sleep.

Thinking about his hair usually made her hot for him, and thinking of it gone made her nostalgic, and a little mad. And that was when the memory was fresh and jot months old.

In any case, she wasn't feeling very soft for him, and that was a sexy question. She definitely wasn't feeling wet for him.

She had just walked out of class on a freezing cold day before she was ready for it to be this chilly, and she had to ride her bike. Her class was on individual contribution to global crises. Emma was the first to point out that individuals were not the true climate change culprits, but every bit helped. She just wished she'd ridden one of the clean energy buses today. Today sucked.

"Your teeth are chattering Emma, you outside?" she made an affirmative sound and he wisely knew better than to wait for an answer after that. He'd set up this mood, after all. "Sorry, came out wrong, it was meant to be funny." Harry had an apology in his voice. It was like the first knead of a dough, but he had a long way to go. "Anyway, what I meant is, I'm Christmas shopping, and I was thinking about what you might like, was gonna get you a jumper, and I think I have an idea of your style, but wanted a little guidance, I'd hate to buy you something and have you hate it—"

"Harry, take a breath!" She could feel that smile he had a way of bringing to her lips, despite herself. She really wanted to be upset with him, but seemed he'd proved himself, or distracted her at least.

Emma can't quite get a full grasp on why she's irritated with the phone call with him.  She's not sure what she expected. They never had a conversation about it, about how they are just a little holiday fling. She's never even had a summer fling, so she doesn't know the rules but she assumes that they are not supposed to repeat year on year. Least not without some progress or a defining conversation where they decided on not a relationship. He was confusing. He'd been so happy to have a bit of extra time with her, she'd thought he might be in touch more, with his seemingly abundant free time. She's wanted him to be in touch more. But he hadn't.

She'd heard from him less than ever.

And now he was buying her gifts and making her smile. Damn him.

"I'm breathing, promise." He sighed. "I just could tell I'd pissed you off, and I don't want to. I've been thinking about Christmas, and well, I'm excited."

"I'm excited too. Holidays are exciting." Emma is not going to read into that. He's excited to be with his family. He's Christmas shopping for everyone. This is not about her, them.

There is no them.

There is no them, except between Christmas Eve and New Years. And that is purely physical.

These are the things she repeated to herself when she was sad, waiting for him to call or text. Sad from how he dragged himself from their pub bed saying he'd miss her and be in touch and then wasn't. His sweet nothings were like when people signed your yearbook K.I.T. She knew you weren't supposed to take those yearbook signings seriously, but he'd said it, not written it below some picture of him. That counted more, right? Than a picture? Those were cheap, especially of him; there were pictures of him everywhere, Emma was also upset that none of them looked like the real life him. Just a shade of his actual beauty.

She wanted to see him now. She missed him though she shouldn't.

Just over a month now until Christmas. And a busy one at that. She had so much data to sift through from the summer and a presentation she was basing on it was her culminating project. It would also make an early start on her field work come summer. Those things, academic, important things were her focused her life's work. Not delicious Harry Styles and his sweet holiday nothings.

"Yes, especially when I get my favorite for Christmas." Harry said bringing her back to the call they were on.

The meaning behind those words were a bit harder to ignore. All she could get out was "Oh?" Then she rolled her eyes at herself and cleared her throat and said, "Your mum's Christmas cake?"

He chuckled. "I am fond of that cake, I think I put on two stone last year from how much I ate. And she sent me home with one!"

Emma almost called bullshit on that. He'd expended all those calories, she'd been the apparatus.

She took a breath to speak, and he cut her off. "I don't mean the cake, anyway, I mean you: you're my favorite thing to have at Christmas. The best gift."

What was she supposed to say to that? Another eloquent oh? Instead she said, "Your favorite thing?" Playful offense on the word thing.

"Oh hush." He laughed. "You're my favorite, Emma. In case you want to be obtuse and miss my point. I'm very excited to see you."

She breathed in. All she could manage to reply with was "Me too."

She meant it, but as they got off the phone after setting up their usual tryst and a special meeting before the party to exchange gifts, she couldn't help but wonder if he did. If what he said was true, why the radio silence?

The gift on her lap on the train was large and ostentatious. She didn't have a ton of money for the it, student life, but her recipient was a millionaire, so she'd gone all out on the wrapping paper.

It was a frog in a Christmas hat, the motif on the paper. Emma remembered when she and Gemma had called Harry "frog boy" and he'd been mortified. But it had also found its way into their private rooms. Not when he was inside her, that would be weird, but when he looked up at her and grinned, all dimples and no teeth from where he likes to make her stomach a pillow.

How "Froggy" had become a term of endearment, she didn't know. The moment she'd seen the cute froggy in his holiday rig on the overpriced paper, she had stopped what she was doing, parked her bike with no lock, and popped in the shop.

She then had to find something to put in the paper. He'd been shopping for her this year, in October, and he'd said he was at the shop and she'd seen pictures of him hauling bags out of Gucci. That was not intimidating at all.

They had exchanged small things in years past. Harry had started it, he'd given a cookbook a friend recommended the year she went vegan. Then the next year he'd donated in her name to a clean air initiative. She'd just picked up odds and ends she thought he'd like, like a 100% recycled journal one year and a glass bottle set for his gym runs the next.

This year, she'd racked her brain, but she'd eventually found the perfect gift to fill her frog paper. She was getting better at this. He was entirely too good at it, and he was a quick learner. She'd been underwhelmed with the flowers he sent the first year and had explained that cut flowers made her sad. It seemed a waste to kill something for its fleeting beauty. Harry had nodded thoughtfully.

The next flower he sent was a gorgeous orchid, it arrived once she was back in Amsterdam and came with instructions. That first orchid had started a trend and between his gifts and her own new interest, her flat was looking very jungle esque.

Emma was always very excited to see him, but this year, after his call, there was more anticipation and preparation. If he was going to be ready for her, she would be ready for him.

She got a fresh haircut and trimmed her bush. The thrift store was kind to her, and her new Christmas jumper was perhaps less ugly than flattering, but that was ok with her. She particularly liked the way it lay over the skirt she'd planned to wear to the Twist's annual todo.

Her flights had been uneventful and her mother was elated and doting. Emma found it much more tolerable this year. Maybe she was just in the spirit, or maybe she'd been away from the village and her family long enough to actually miss them.

She definitely missed Harry.

He, predictably, had texted that his flight was delayed and he was trying to make arrangements, but he might not even make it in time for the party.

"I'm doing everything in my power to get there tonight. If I can't make my mother's party, but arrive tonight, can we meet? I'll call the inn."

"Yes." Was all she texted back. She found she was mourning their kiss beneath the mistletoe, and that he might miss her outfit. But Harry's power was considerable, and she had no doubt he would be at the Boar's Head in time to see what she planned to wear under the sweater.

Those pieces, she felt a twinge guilty about. They were pricey and definitely not second hand. Used pants were where she drew the line.

People, not Emma, bemoaned Harry's absence when those who still lived local or were able to travel home gathered for toast. Emma knew she wasn't the only one who came home partially to see Harry. It was why she was able to fly under Gem's radar, hopefully.

Gemma's only comment was, "He'll be here when he can." When Eloise asked where Harry was. She asked every year, it annoyed Gem, and took some of the heat off Emma. Eloise was so obvious, Gemma could direct some of her protective big sister vibes that way.

The night was winding down and Emma's third glass of champagne could use topping up. She'd just sidled into the kitchen to pop another bottle when a pair of arms came around her from behind.

She'd have dropped the bottle too if Harry had not pulled the most uncharacteristicly smooth and agile catch he'd ever made, whilst dipping her for a swoon worthy kiss.

"Harry!" Emma gasped, "What are you doing?" Her Hand went to find his hair, and she was sad to find it until she found his sharp, bare jaw instead. It cut through her nostalgia and she was able to appreciate his face on a new way. His lips.

"Getting my midnight kiss!"

"It's not New Year's." It was better, like new year's and her birthday combined, that kiss.

"Not yet!" He righted her but stayed wrapped around her while she popped the bottle. She poured him a glass too and had to refrain from holding his hand when she pulled him into the living room after they toasted.

He stole a kiss before they went to join the others.

It looked like his arrival was going to renew the party spirit, but he begged off as tired, and disappeared to his room by 1:30.

Emma wasn't sure what to do, or where to go, so she just slipped out the back at 2:00 when a car nearly gave her heart palpitations by pulling up right in front of her. The door popped open and Harry stuck his head out. "Cmon, it's our getaway car!"

She couldn't help but shake her head. "You disappeared and I didn't know what you wanted to do."

"Well, you obviously!" He giggled, high off the champagne and his conniving. "C'mon! We don't have that long. I wanna do Christmas morning with you!"

"It's still nighttime." Emma pointed out.

"Don't worry, we'll find something to do until the sun comes up." He looked up at her through his lashes and she couldn't help but bite her lips.

"What's the rush, Styles?" Emma asked as she climbed into the car. The driver seemed unconcerned and headed down the familiar lanes of a familiar place.

"No rush, I'm just excited and have to be back so I can sneak in for Christmas brunch."

"Oh." She knew that, it wasn't the first time.

"Not 'oh,' I want to give you your gifts on actual Christmas."

"Are you Santa Claus?" She teased as he pulled her into his chest.

"If that's what you're into? I'll be whoever you want me to be."

"Then just be you." She said with painful earnestness before she could stop herself.

Harry looked down at her in the cradle of his armpit and put his forehead to hers and gave her an Eskimo kiss. "As long as you're you."

Emma melted and if she hadn't been so tired and a little too drunk on bubbly she wouldn't have fallen asleep on the way to the Boar's Head.

"Baby," Harry whispered into her hair. "Wake up, we're here."

"I can't believe I fell asleep that fast."

"It's my voice, I've been told it has a sedative power."

"Sleepy is not usually how your voice makes me feel." What truth serum had she taken tonight?

"Well, I'll have to talk a lot to keep you up then. Hope you're refreshed after your little nap."

She was, and he kept her up but by 5:00, even his deep voice and other powers of persuasion couldn't keep her leaden lids open.

"Baby! Emma." Harry was kissing her awake and holding out a shirt for her slip on while slipping socks up her calves. "Present time."

"Ok, Santa baby." She yawned and let him drag her into the room where she had completely missed the tiny Charlie Brown tree in the corner. "Oh! You went all out." She looked at him in awe when she noticed the multicolored packages under the tree. "I only got you one thing," she was rubbing sleep out of her eyes and too tired to bullshit. "I'm feeling inadequate."

"Nah, I've heard it's better to give than receive."

"That's not what you said a couple hours ago."

"I'll give gifts if you give head." They both scrunched their brows. "Scratch the part where I made it sound like you were my sugar baby."

"Or a prostitute."She raised an arch brow.

"Nah, I couldn't afford you." He didn't even smirk.

So she responded, "I think you think that's a compliment."

He snort laughed and she couldn't help but smile with him. "I mean, you do it well enough to be paid for it, but by the face you're making I better quit talking and get to the spoiling to get myself out of trouble. Go on, open a present."

"Any order you envisioned."

"Um? No, the one where order matters I have a plan for."

"This isn't all?"

"This is most." He nodded and she felt a warm place under her breast that only ignited when he was being domestic.

Back in her old room in her childhood home, or in her flat in Amsterdam, she'd occasionally puzzle over these moments. They felt nothing short of boyfriendy, and she loved it. When she thought back on them, especially in the cold January days, they kept her warm and made her feel special. She hadn't ever felt that warm flush in her chest with anybody but Harry. She'd kind of avoided the feeling, usually.

By July, after long periods of silence where he was running around the world while she endeavored to save it, the glow of those days paled in the midnight sun. When he acted like a boyfriend, like they were more than a hookup and then ignored her, it hurt. When she was well into her yearly drought, and all she had were those shooting stars to wish upon, the sweeter he was, the more rich the ache, the aftertaste saccharine.

Emma could tell, his gifts and the joy he seemed to take in giving them would warm her to the backbone through January, and make her teeth hurt by July.

And still she couldn't convince herself to stop, to ask, to protect herself. She couldn't even detach a little, she was so excited about the little stuffed animal she had for him in return.

"Harry, this is beautiful!" She unfolded a gorgeous sweater dress of a fine wool knit that screamed warm.

"Yeah?" He smiled, pleaded with the praise and himself. "I was at Gucci, and I was gonna get you some stuff there, but they just didn't feel like you, so I started doing some research on sustainable brands and I found this one, and another. This one is good for day to day, it's called Ever Lane, and the next, Bode, it's great for retro pieces. Open the next one."

She'd been staring at him. He was going to buy her Gucci? This was better, but that seemed like a pretty penny to spend on your holiday hook up. She knew money wasn't really an object for him. He always paid for the hotel on their rendezvous and she never brought it up. It was always just taken care of. She wasn't a starving student, but she also wasn't an international pop star. These gifts felt big, bigger than what they were.

He liked to be generous. But, it felt like these gifts, the 5 packages and one coming later were a statement in a language she didn't understand.

"Harry, this is too much." Was all she could say. He didn't respond with words, just gave her a look and shrugged his shoulders like, 'what else am I supposed to do with it'.

Emma knew from Gemma that Harry took care of them, their vehicles and his mum's house and whatever they mentioned they wanted or he thought they'd like.

Gemma had said last year, when she was thrilling over her Christmas gifts, "It's the one time of year I let him get away with it. The rest of the time I've gotten to where I don't mention things I like or want, because they show up on my doorstep, you know?"

Emma had nodded even though she didn't know, but she did now. He was so thoughtful it hurt, but the implications troubled her.

"Open the next one. I'm really excited for it."

It was a beautiful jacket, mustard, her favorite color, and matching mittens.

"For when you want to ride your bike, but it's chilly. They're very warm." He remembered she was cold on her bike that day.

Emma knew he remembered her text after the 'what are you wearing' conversation about being grumpy because she had chosen to ride her bike but it was too cold. His big beating heart could melt snow.

She swallowed down the sentiments clogging her throat along with her worries. Should she ask? She'd have too, eventually. This was feeling more serious than it should be, like he wanted to call her babe for more than a weekend, like he wanted her to stay, with him.

It's what she wanted, in some part of her, but was completely out of the question. He had a big international life, and she had her own global ambition.

The rest was wrapped donation cards to causes she'd worked for or even mentioned. The last gift was a small box, and when she opened it, she cried, then laughed and handed him his box.

"What?" He said, "I can't tell if you're happy or sad about that gift?" He worries his bottom lip.

It was another frog, just like the one she'd picked as the tangible gift when she'd made the donation in his name.

Emma just shrugged and wiped her eyes. "Open it."

His bursting balloon laugh inflated her merry heart. "Did we really do the exact same thing?" His face had an odd look she could only call tender.

"Same wavelength, me and you." He was misty like she had been a moment ago. He leaned forward and kissed her. Then picked up their stuffed frogs and made them kiss like he was a small child playing dolls. "I almost don't want to separate them."

"Are we still talking about the frogs?" She laughed, because she had a feeling they weren't.

He shrugged and his phone began to buzz. "Can I take a rain check on answering that question? If I don't leave right now, they will know I stayed out all night on Christmas Eve, and there will be questions. I don't think we are quite ready to explain what we are." He chose that moment to yawn like a lion in the late afternoon after a long day of lounging and got up to leave.

Emma still had questions.He'd said not quite ready to explain what they were doing. Emma wasn't even sure what they were doing. Were they going to tell people, tell Gemma? Tell them what? That they were together? Wanted to be together? Belonged together. The frogs too, did the frogs belong together?

He was dressed by the time she was done freaking out. He looked tired, but exhilarated, like he'd spent a night getting everything he wanted and a few things he didn't know he needed. "Bye doll," he kissed her, right on the mouth, affectionately and with only a trace of the heat the December air lacked. "I'll see you tomorrow night. Merry Christmas! I wanna see you in the sweater," he was walking through the door. "Oh, and the other thing?"

"Other thing?" She looked at him confused.

He pointed underneath the tree. "Have another look."

Emma blushed when she opened the lingerie. She wondered if he'd had to check her pants and bras for sizes or if he just knew the shape of her well enough that he'd guessed accurately.

They looked really good.

She needed to be getting home as well. There would be no getting out of it, she needed an excuse for rolling in just in time for Christmas brunch, her parents were notorious early risers, as was she. Her plan was to tell them she'd just made too merry the night before and slept on the couch at the Twist's. It was truth adjacent. It was the best she could come up with, her head was full of Harry and she couldn't think.

Her Christmas passed in a blur of food and wine and wrapping paper. Harry had sent her a picture of him with a bow on his head and asked her if she felt spoiled enough or needed him to wear the bow the next day.

She'd told him to wear it. And only it.

She'd not expected him to follow directions both precisely and with some creative license.

"Do you really think your cock is a gift?" She tried to mock him, while he stood proudly, hips first in their room at the Boat's Head.

"Well, I intend to give it to you!" He raised his eyebrows and stalked toward her. "I like the sweater. Looks amazing, but? Probably better here." He swept it over her head and deposited it on the floor.

"That was atrocious!" She giggled, but felt no anxiety unlike the last day or so.

"Yeah, maybe, but I needed to see if you'd worn my other gift."

"I thought it was my gift."

"For both of us, I'd argue." He winked.

"You wink like a drunk pirate." She couldn't help but smile at him. His silly banter had completely removed the nerves she should be feeling, standing in front of him in a Santa red bra, panties, garter belt, and stockings. She'd sourced the Santa hat herself and the black heels were hers.

"I'm feeling drunk seeing you in this." His hands were running over the satin on her hips and the lace at her waist, then the bare flesh of her ass. "I think I even lied to myself. This was definitely my present." The last word was said against her lips and his big hands slid down the globes of her backside to between her thighs, hoisting her onto his hips. The trail his thumbs left had her shivering.

The bed rose up to meet her. Harry hovered over her before standing and staring.

"Are we on pause?" She was panting and really hoping they were not stopping let alone slowing.

He opened his hands like a director, "I'm just trying to remember this to keep me warm all year." He ran his hands from her toes to her curled hair, she'd gone all out, then back down. His face was full of anticipation and a hesitation she'd never seen when she was this bare, not even the first time when he was flush on bravado and international acclaim.

"What is it?" She started to sit up.

He groaned. "Wow, that move did great things for your chest."

Emma could only laugh. He was acting like he'd never seen a naked woman, when he'd probably seen more than his fair share, and had definitely seen her before.

"You're acting like you've never seen me before."

"It's always like the first time. You're overwhelming."

"I'm overwhelming?" She wanted to laugh, she saw him as Harry, at first her friend's brother, then the cute boy with the big career she'd hooked up with, then her favorite holiday surprise, and now she couldn't define exactly what he was to her, mostly Harry? Who she missed all year and cherished for a week at a time in person, a deeply in her heart the rest of the time. She remained aware, however, of who he was, at large.

"Absolutely, I can barely take you. Can't believe I get to have you." What did she say to that? She only nodded, it was mutual. "Listen," he continued, "Can I take a picture of you. I'll keep your face out of it."

She thought for a moment, thrilled that he wanted to save this memory, to relive this moment until they met again. She didn't have any pictures of him, and thought there were so many online, none of them were really of him. "Yeah, go on Harry."

Maybe she should take one back. Save the neck down one place and the neck up as her wallpaper, she could get away with it. She saw classmates with him as their Home Screen. Her plans kept the nerves at bay while he got his set up ready.

He posed a leg, had her lay back, and then sit up. He took about 5 pictures on his phone, then three Polaroids, and by then she was getting into it. She was moving in ways that made her feel sexy and he was getting antsy.

"I'll show you, so you can approve, after." He discarded the phone and pulled his jumper over his head before crawling up the bed and over her.

"I trust you Harry. It's fine."

She wasn't sure what it was about those words, but he grew, thicker between her thighs and larger in her presence before he was kissing her bra off and asking if he could leave the stockings and shoes on.

"'Mmmhmmm." Emma moaned from her perch on the pillows looking down watching him pull her panties free and reattaching her stockings. "Damn." He kissed both places and flipped her over to skate his lips up her thighs and ass and back. Her hair was over her face while he kissed her neck and rutted into her with his jeans still on. She grabbed a handful of his glorious hair and kissed him over her shoulder. "Like this?" She asked.

"Mmhmmm." He echoed and she felt him kicking his jeggings free and sliding on the condom. She was flat on the mattress and unsure if he wanted her to push back on her knees. She didn't need to think about it long, he hoisted her up, and pressed a gentle hand between her shoulder blades so her body arched like a slide. His fingers climbed up to cascade down her backbone in an echo of the ride he was about to take down. He was right there, hovering, and Emma pushed back, but the whine in her voice was the more obvious tell.

"Baby, I need you."

"I need you, so much. Miss you when I'm gone."

She missed him when she was gone too. He slid his head in and waited. Emma wasn't really in control of the clenching this caused and it made Harry lose his grip on his. The smack of his hips against her thighs reverberated off the borrowed walls they considered their own.

He stroked her inside out and commented on the grip of her onto his dick. "It's like you don't want to let me go," he whispered into her ear.

Emma turned her head and breathed, "I don't want to." The kiss broke his rhythm and lingered until her clenching started over, again. How was she so close so soon?

"No, no, no." She whined when he pulled out.

"Shhhh, I've got you." He knew she was onto something, they'd become practiced hands at each other's pleasure.

He flipped her over and smoothed her hair back, bracketing her face between his hands like an aside he needed to voice right at that moment. "I just want to see you."

He went back in with ease, and with anybody else she might be ashamed for how embarrassingly wet she was, for the squelch. "God! Harry!" Her thighs came up to his hips and he hitched one over his elbow and open, then lay a good portion of his weight onto her. It was just the right side of too much. Just like all of him.

"Let me find it again, that high you were chasing?"

She was nodding, babbling. He picked up the rhythm from before and added a tiny rut at the end to the swelling of her clit. She was back on the trail to the summit quickly. It had been good, if fumbling, from night one. By this gift season, it was like he had installed all of her buttons personally and could push her to the edge at will. Her eyes were closed and she was concentrating hard on the oasis just beyond her horizon.

"Baby," he whispered, his breath soft and scented like her lip balm. "Open your eyes." He was just over her and he wrapped her open thigh back and around his knee. "Watch me," he made a c with his body so she could watch the goings on and feel them too.

"Oh, fuck."

"I love your filthy mouth. When you get going. Demure driven Emma on the brink has a dirty dirty mouth."

She'd narrow her eyes at him if she could bear to look away from his cock.

"Baby!" She gasped.

"Hold it, stay, just a little longer." He kissed her and then compelled her eyes to his. "I'll come with you."

His nose touched hers at just the tip and he rocked her and watched as she trembled and held off and pleaded. "Now, now, come now." He grit his teeth in preparation, but he needn't have worried, the minute he commanded it, she obeyed and the body roll of sensation ran from the roots of her hair to the bends of her knees.

He seized and his head fell back, but as soon as he was in command of himself again, his eyes were back on hers. "I love...," he gasped and her mind raced over what the hell he might say. What she wanted to gasp back. It was a bit of a comedown as opposed to a denouement when he filled in, "...having you for Christmas."

He buried his face in her neck and breathed into the nooks and crannies she thought she had kept safe from him.

Which was why it hurt so much when she had to tell him no.

His final gift, complete with an aching grin, had been an open ended ticket. "So you can come to me, with me, on tour."

She knew her brow knotted up like a bundle of discarded yarn. That wasn't the agreement. And she couldn't, couldn't even allow herself to want it. She had her PhD program looming. There was no time to go anywhere this fall.

"Harry, you know I can't."

He looked crestfallen, like this was new information and not why they only got these stolen snowbound days once a year. "Can't or won't?" He was verging on angry and it would piss her off if her heart wasn't so close to fissuring.

Honesty was her only policy, "Both." She handed the ticket back to him.

It ruined their night, the movie they tried to distract themselves with, the goodbye sex they didn't have.

He wasn't even there when she woke up the next morning.

But the tickets were on his pillow with a small note, "Change your mind, please. I'll be seeing you. H."

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #ttds #chapter 5 #Santa baby #tis the damn season #song fic

[deniigi]

anyways the discord has fucked me up 6 ways to hell.

Have some Sam/Ned/Peter/Johnny/MJ

Because we couldn’t pick a ship and we discovered Sam/Ned, and now we’re all devastated by it.

Title: Anenome’s an Enemy

Summary: The polycule welcomes Sam into its ranks.

Notes: So the polycule consists of Ned, Peter and MJ who are all romantically involved and established. Peter is also in an on/off relationship with Johnny, but Johnny is just friends with Ned and MJ. Oh. And these are Inimitable Verse characters.

--

It started with Ned and MJ reading the texts from the groupchat in order to psychoanalyze Peter’s teammates.

This was not new.

Peter let them read the bullshit fairly regularly. It was only fair that they got to see what he was giggling about.

What was new was Ned asking who BT was.

Peter had thought that they’d met at Matt and Foggy’s wedding, but Ned couldn’t remember Sam being there, and, to be fair, Peter had noticed that Sam had an extraordinary ability to blend himself into the background when there were multiple people having a conversation.

MJ barely remembered Sam, too, for that reason precisely, so Peter asked Sam if he could send a selfie ‘for the home team to admire.’

Sam said that he wasn’t comfortable with that.

It was super surprising.

Peter apologized for asking and Sam waved it off, saying that he just didn’t know how to take selfies for anyone besides his sister and friends and he just didn’t want to screw it up. Which was code for ‘I am actually really fucking uncomfortable with this whole thing; please don’t ask me why I’m saying no.’

Peter dropped it.

MJ didn’t forget about it, though, and so he had to explain that Blindspot was a little camera shy.

Ha.

Get it?

Because Blindspot?

Ned told him that it was kind of weird that Sam didn’t want to take a picture for him when he was cool taking them for his other friends; MJ said that it was probably because he didn’t want her and Ned to see his face and Ned relented a little bit.

“We’ve already met him, though?” he pointed out. “Surely that was worse in this scenario?”

Well. In Sam’s world, it was probably better, actually, Peter thought. In real life, he could smile and duck out of sight and stay out of range. A picture was forever.

“He’s probably got a reason,” MJ continued. “Or his folks were probably those ‘put it on the internet and it never goes away’ types.”

Uh.

Probably?

“I think,” Peter said quietly, because he didn’t actually know—because Sam never actually said the words out loud—“That he might be undocumented?”

He got two sets of eyes his way immediately.

“Oh,” Ned said. “That’s completely understandable then.”

“Yikes,” MJ said. “Does he need help? I’ve got some stuff saved if he needs legal stuff.”

No. No, Peter thought that Sam probably knew more about his situation than any of them did. He knew what kind of help he needed and he might take offense at links or brochures passed his way, so he shrugged and told the others that Sam probably had the situation under control.

The other two dropped the subject after saying that the next time Sam was in the area, they should all get dinner or something.

Peter extended this invite to Sam and got back a simple ‘thanks 🙂’.

Sam didn’t talk to him for the rest of the week.

 --

 At about week two of radio silence in the chat and in personal texts, Peter asked Matt if he’d overstepped.

Matt didn’t answer the question. What he said was that, as far as he could tell, Sam was okay at work and in their training. He noted that Sam went through cycles of being very open and chatty and then withdrawing into himself for days and weeks at a time. He left it at that.

He didn’t say ‘he has been violently reminded about all the shit he can’t do and is protecting himself from you and your ilk.’

He didn’t say that.

But Peter still felt it.

 --

 SM: hey BT, hope you’re okay. Didn’t mean to overstep the other day. Sorry about that. Let me know if you need anything.

BT: I’m okay

BT: I’ll let you know.

BT: ❤

 --

 MJ told Peter that he was blowing things out of proportion.

“If Matt says he goes through cycles, then he goes through cycles, Peter,” She scolded. “Matt can’t lie for shit. Not about people he cares about.”

…Right.

But what if—

What if—

“I just feel like shit because I don’t know how to make him feel better,” Peter admitted. “I feel like I broke his trust or something.”

“He’s not not talking to you,” MJ said. “He’s just not info-dumping. And you don’t know his life, it might not have been you making him feel bad. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your mistakes, you know.”

Right, right.

Yeah, he knew.

 --

 PP: hey matt did I fuck up?

MM: ?

PP: I think I fucked up. can you tell Sam I’m really really sorry?

MM: Sammy’s fine?

MM: He’s discovered jalapeño Cheetos and he and foggy are making my life hell.

MM: they’re both very cheerful right now.

MM: did something happen?

PP: I think so? I asked him for a picture a while ago for Ned and MJ and he hasn’t spoken to me in 2 weeks. I mean like really spoken. I said sorry but I’m not getting back more than 5 word responses

MM: ah

MM: he’s okay Peter

PP: is he really tho??

MM: lol

MM: yeah buddy he’s okay

PP: what is ‘lol???’

MM: lol

PP: Matt.

MM: I’m a confidante I cannot say. But it is very cute.

PP: ????

PP: Matt I’m spiraling

PP: can you just like tell me I haven’t single handedly ruined our friendship?

MM: HA

PP: MATT

MM: no can do. You’ll have to ask him, friend.

PP: god when did you turn into such a dad?

MM: when I got all these fuckin kids I didn’t ask for. Fuck off squirt

PP: I hate you too

MM: ❤

 --

 Johnny held Peter’s face between two palms and told him he was being a dramatic piece of shit and it was Johnny’s turn this month.

Johnny was offended.

Peter made sad sounds at him until he relented and agreed to come sit at the table with MJ to psychoanalyze all Peter’s Bad Friend behaviors.

Johnny did not like to sit at the table with MJ, mostly because MJ kept stabbing him with her eyes, but he came along and gave Ned a big hug in the doorway.

MJ stabbed him with her eyes for that, too.

Johnny paged through the texts Peter had screenshotted and printed out and tossed on the table with a collection of pens and after a while, blinked once and jerked his head up suddenly to stare into MJ’s eyes.

MJ glared at him languidly.

Peter sat on his hands, all highlighters and pen privileges having been revoked after the second guilt spiral two minutes ago, and looked between them, back and forth.

They said nothing to him.

They spoke only in narrowing eyes and squirming eyebrows.

Peter hated when they did shit like this.

“Peter,” MJ finally said after a good three minutes of awkward silence. “When you went back west to stay with Matt and Fogs, where did you stay?”

Where?

Well, their house?

“Where in their house?” MJ asked like she already knew the answer. She tangled a hand into her hair in exasperation. Johnny brought both hands up to his face to hide a huge smile.

Wh—

Where?

In the house?

Well, Angel and Louis had taken the couch and Ellie and Wade had been in the guest bedroom, so he’d stayed in Sam’s room with him.

Ned sighed loudly from the couch. His typing slowed down as he slouched lower and lower into the cushions.

Peter didn’t get it.

Why was everyone staring at him?

“Buddy,” Johnny said kindly. “You’re so fucking stupid, you make me look smart.”

“You are smart,” Peter said. “Why am I stupid?”

MJ held out her hand for his phone. He gave it to her without question.

 --

 PP: hey matt its MJ.

PP: does Sam have a crush on Peter?

MM: I don’t know MJ, does he?

 --

 MJ held the phone up to Peter’s face while Johnny shriek-giggled into his palms.

Peter felt a little like jelly.

All wobbly and shit.

“He likes me?” he blurted out.

MJ blinked slowly. Johnny pounded a fist against the table, wheezing.

“He thinks you want a picture for your friends,” he said. “He thinks you’ve friendzoned him. Oh my god. Peter.”

WHAT WHAT WHAT

“Give me that,” Peter said, snatching his phone.

 --

 PP: matt this is peter this is not a drill

PP: he likes me??? Like likes-likes? Or just likes?

MM: why do you children keep asking me stupid questions?

MM: ask each other stupid questions

 --

 No.

“What do I do?” Peter asked the other two.

Johnny hummed and poked at his chin. MJ leaned over towards the couch with an outstretched hand. Ned took it in a show of moral support.

Once she’d powered back up, MJ turned back to Peter with infinite patience.

“Do you like him too?” she asked.

Did he—did he like Sam?

Well, obviously he liked Sam. Sam was funny and brilliant and always down to get in a bit of trouble. He was sensitive to others and he picked himself back up every time shit hit him.

He was warm.

His energy was warm. And welcoming. And he seemed to constantly be fighting that.

But he was Matt’s. Not in that way.

Like, he was Matt’s apprentice. Functionally, he was Matt’s apprentice, but actually, even back when Peter had just met him, he’d known that Sam was more than that to Matt.

Sam denied it. Matt denied it. But they were very, very close. Closer than Peter had been allowed to be with Matt.

Matt would fight to the death for Peter, Peter knew this; there had been a few close calls over the years. But Matt gave off this weird vibe with Sam.

It was a buzz. Peter felt it low in his neck. Humming.

The Spidey Sense didn’t like Matt being behind him when Peter was with Sam. It thought he was a threat.

And that? That was not normal. Matt had stood behind Peter for more than a decade and never, not once, had the Spidey Sense reacted that way to him.

Peter had told Wade about it and Wade’s eyes had softened. He’d clasped Peter’s shoulder and said that he was ‘touched as hell,’ which Peter didn’t understand at first.

He kind of got it more now.

Sam was Matt’s. What he was exactly wasn’t super clear. But Matt was willing and ready not just to die, but potentially to torture, for Sam and he didn’t fucking like anyone being too close to him—especially not another vigilante.

Sam was off limits.

Touch him and suffer the consequences.

That message was loud and clear.

So even if Peter thought that Sam was warm and brilliant and so easy to sink into, it didn’t matter.

Johnny and MJ and Ned considered this by drumming fingers on noses and chins and making humming sounds.

“Red seems okay with BT having a crush on you, though?” Johnny said. “He’s joking about it, after all. Maybe he just doesn’t want you to make the first move? You do kind of have a track record, Peter.”

That made a lot of sense actually.

“So what, I have to wait for Sam to say something or to get over me?” Peter asked.

“Pretty much,” MJ said. “Unless anyone else has a better idea?”

No one did.

Man, bummer.

 --

 Sam came back into contact a few days later like nothing had happened. He was concerned about definitions of seals. He needed people to help him work through them. Evidently, Matt, Foggy, and Kirsten hadn’t done the job.

Matt said nothing about no one, which was infuriating as always.

And so it went.

 --

 BT: heyyyyyyyyyyyyy peter

SM: lol hey you what’s up?

BT: m drunk

SM: oh word?

BT: Leilani told me no to taext no one butttttt I hate meself so here we are

SM: Leilani?

BT: fremd

SM: dude red said you finish all your girlfriends drinks?

BT: is my scared duty

BT: scared

BT: sacred

SM: sam you’re like 140 pounds

BT: 😘

SM: okay sure I’m proud of you. how many did you chug

BT: hey teach says that you’re a people eater is that true?

SM: people eater? No. I am spider

BT: hello spider I am dog

SM: ASDF:SAfasFDf

BT: no like he says that you go through people a lot

SM: I have a lot of exes

BT: oh neat

BT: I have none exes

SM: what?? Really??

BT: rly

SM: have you ever dated someone?

BT: I don’t date

BT: fuck em and leave em

SM: oh

SM: does that work for you?

BT: easy

SM: wow okay

BT: I don’t want to be your ex. Can we just fuck and say notging about it?

BT: nothing

BT: like it doesn’t have to matter

BT: donst have to go anwhere

SM: yeah. I’m down with that, I guess?

BT: !!!!

SM: I mean if you are. Next time we’re in the same area we can do smth

BT: nice

BT: I think Imma puke

SM: uh?? Don’t puke in bed

SM: BT?

SM: Sam?

BT: did not we’re good hey thanks

BT: that’s cool of you.

BT: I promise Ima a good lay ❤

SM: you could be more than that too, you know?

BT: Good night!!!

 --

 MJ held her face as Peter straddled her hips with his phone two inches from her nose.  

Ned snickered.

“Help me,” MJ begged of him.

He shook his head. Peter shook his phone.

“Friend,” he said.

“Fuckbuddy,” MJ told him. “Don’t fall in love with him, Peter.”

Too fuckin’ late, babe.

Ned started shaking with laughter.

 --

 Once.

It happened once.

Kirsten was in New York for reasons. She brought backup in the form of Sam and some of his coworkers. They were on a 3 day mission, then Sam was catching a train to go help Clint out with a case down in Florida on Matt’s request.

Three days was plenty of time to get up to some shenanigans.

And Sam’s sides were tight. Strong.

Weirdly flexible?

“You’re great,” Sam told him immediately after their ‘shenanigans.’ “I’m leaving.”

Woah, woah, woah, there cowboy.

What’s the rush?

Sam, already back in his black hoodie, blinked owlishly and then squinted.

“Is this not how this works?” he asked.

Uuuuuuuh.

No?

“Stay,” Peter told him, pulling at his sweater. “Have dinner with me and my partners. They want to meet you.”

Sam smiled at him.

It was a bitter one.

“I’ve gotta jet, Pete,” he said. “For real. Thanks, though. Tell them I said hi.”

When he left Peter felt a little like slamming his hand against the bedside table. But that would shatter the bedside table, so he laid back and let the self-loathing begin.

 --

 Johnny thought that Sam was maybe a little insecure and so Peter should chill the fuck out.

“He’s probably never been with a polyamorous person,” he told Peter. “He might be trying to respect MJ and Ned.”

That made sense.

Too much sense.

“And anyways, your agreement was ‘fuck and leave,’” Johnny said. “If you want more than that you’re gonna have to—”

Don’t say it.

“You’re gonna have to—”

Stop singing.

“You’re gonna have to communicate, boo-bear.”

Fuck off.

No words. Only unrequited feelings and misery.

Johnny laughed.

“You’re a mess,” he said.

Whatever.

 --

 Okay, but once is happenstance, twice is a coincidence, and three times is a pattern, no?

Matt sent a text to Peter that said simply ‘I will end you.’

That was basically proof, right?

That was Matt’s shovel talk, right??

MJ and Ned stared at him in horror.

“I think, Peter,” MJ said, “This is a warning.”

Yeah, a shovel talk. Peter had been through infinite shovel talks.

“Maybe you should talk to BT,” MJ said.

“Rephrasing that,” Ned said. “You should definitely talk to BT.”

Okay, fine.

 --

 SM: hey sam

SM: what are we doing, man?

SM: Matt’s threatening to end me

BT: ignore him he’s got zero right

SM: are you sure?

BT: I thought we weren’t talking about this

SM: I kinda want to talk about it?

BT: 🙂 I don’t

SM: oh

SM: sorry

SM: I thought that maybe there was just something more there?

BT: there isn’t. Sorry Peter.

SM: …are you sure?

BT: yes

SM: you’re kind of not giving me confidence that you’re sure, sam. Not enough emojis.

BT: I don’t want to talk

BT: thanks for trying tho!

BT: it means a lot ❤

SM: is it okay if I talk then?

BT: I will not stop you

SM: okay great because I’m kinda? Falling? For you?

SM: like you’re really cute? And funny? And insanely smart and really nice and super good at everything you do? And you have your ideals and you don’t waver?

SM: and idk if you know anything about me or my people that that’s uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

SM: how to say

SM: my type

BT: I’m not a type 🙂

SM: no, obviously you’re a person. And I just.

SM: I’ve got love disease

BT: don’t say that word

SM: okay?

SM: are you uncomfortable?

BT: yes

BT: profoundly

SM: okay sorry I’ll stop

BT: peter I like you but I can’t be anything more to you

SM: ?? Why not??

BT: why not????

BT: because DD is my teacher, okay?? And you’re his mentee/brother/teammate whatever.

BT: and I’m not ruining what I have with him because I can’t control my fucking emotions.

BT: this is my shot.

BT: I only have one.

BT: and you’re great. You’re amazing. But I can’t throw it away.

SM: oh

SM: no yeah. That’s fair.

SM: sorry I didn’t mean to push

BT: its fine

SM: is that why you don’t date?

BT: I don’t date because no one cares.

SM: sam that’s not true

BT: can we just? Not?

SM: no? On this thing? No? People care about you? And they would be lucky to have you if you wanted them?

BT: I don’t want them

SM: are you aro?

BT: idk what that means

SM: Aromantic? You don’t feel romantic attraction?

BT: I still don’t know what that means

SM: okay well if you are, then that’s totally cool just so you know.

BT: I’m sorry

SM: don’t be sorry, you’re fine. I was the one pushing.

BT: no this is how it always goes. I’m sorry. I’m just gonna step back if that’s okay

SM: ? you don’t have to. Lol. If you think a rejection is the kind of thing to put a dent in my relationships with people, you got another thing coming pal.

BT: I didn’t mean it like that

SM: it’s okay if you did

SM: but sam you also know that it’s okay to be known a little bit, right?

BT: its not.

 --

 Hhhhhhhhhhng.

“Peter,” Ned said. “Bud, look at me.”

Peter did--with maximum misery.

“I love you,” Ned said. “You are cornering this guy.”

FFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffffuck.

“I’m never texting again,” Peter said.

“Bro, chill,” Ned said. “He likes you, okay? He literally said that. And he also said that he doesn’t want to fuck things up with his teacher. We know that Matt’s polyamorous. We know that he gets it. But does BT know that? Have they actually talked about this kind of thing? Hell no. Matt won’t talk to Foggy about romantic shit, why would he talk to BT about it?”

Fffffffffffffffffffffair point.

“Dramatic,” Ned scolded. “Here, let me try.”

Beg your pardon, sir?

“I just want to calm him down,” Ned said. “You know, apologize for my idiot’s pressure.”

Ah.

Right.

Phone’s all yours then.

 --

 PP: hi BT, this is Ned. I’m peter’s bf.

PP: listen man I just want to say that you’re completely fine. Don’t worry about this stuff too much. Me and MJ don’t mind you two hanging out and doing stuff. We’ve already talked through a lot of this for another guy.

PP: but also like, if you like Peter, that’s okay? He’s infuriatingly likeable. I know, I’ve been here since 3rd grade. If that feels weird to you, though, it might help if you talked to Matt about Kirsten and how they came to be.

PP: it’s okay

PP: whatever you decide, I promise: it’s okay. And you seem super nice and you make my partner really happy (fuckin dopey tbh) so if you ever just want to come and chill, that’s totally good. We’d like to meet you at some point, but no pressure if that makes you uncomfortable.

PP: I’ll be honest, BT, I don’t know much about you.

PP: MJ’s started following you on twitter tho and she says youre funny af. So if you want to join the nerdcrowd over here (unless you’re startrek trash) you’ll always be welcome to our place.

PP: anyways sorry that Peter’s Like That™

PP: he never learned how to quit

PP: hope you get a moment to chill and process dude. –Ned

Read 12:24

BT: are you sure?

PP: oh hey. About what?

BT: all of it?

PP: yeah man I’m sure. MJ is too, she’s just on Peter-beating duty rn so she can’t come to the phone

BT: ok

PP: hey are you shy?

BT: what? No. why do you ask?

PP: no reason. you just seem a little shy.

BT: ☹

PP: lol

PP: you okay?

BT: yes

PP: you want to process?

BT: no

PP: have you already processed?

BT: how do you know that?

PP: because you’re shy and I used to be more shy so you probably either talked it out to yourself or you called your mom or bff or something

BT: I don’t have

BT: sry yeah I talked it out with foggy

PP: you don’t have a mom?

BT: …or a bff. But there is foggy. He’s been helpful.

PP: dude how do you not have a bff? You need a bff

BT: I have plenty of friends ☹

PP: but no bff

BT: AND a sister

PP: but no bff

BT: I COULD have a bff. I just choose not to. For style.

PP: lolololol

PP: peter’s right you’re cute. Okay I’ve gotta give him back his phone before he implodes. Nice talking to you.

BT: okay byeee

 --

Peter straddled Ned and held the phone two inches from his face.

This was witchcraft.

Dark magic.

The least he could do was share.

“I literally just took the pressure off, dude, I don’t know what’s hard about this,” Ned said while MJ watched them over the back of the couch like a cat.

“Teach me your ways, sorcerer,” Peter said.

Ned grabbed his elbow.

“You will never attain my power,” he said.

Peter dropped his full weight on top of him.

 --

 Sam came around eventually.

Peter’s heart fucking stopped. Johnny clapped for him when the text came in that said, ‘DD says he doesn’t mind and he’s already doled out threats. So? Do you maybe want to start over?’

Peter screamed.

Johnny took his phone from him and let him scream better.

“I want to seeeee,” Johnny hummed. “Give us a picture, Blindspot. Are you a little hottie?”

“Shortie,” Peter whimpered.

The phone went down and Johnny’s head came up.

“That’s deadly,” he said.

“I know,” Peter told him.

 --

 Sam was…how to say.

Light touch.

Skittish.

Not good with even the slightest bit of pressure.

Peter hadn’t realized how much of a front he put up in front of other people until he tried to get him talking about shit that mattered and only then did he fully realize the extent to which Sam was exactly like Matt.

Trying to steer him towards emotions and negotiation and heartfelt discussion was like telling a fish that it could only swim one direction.

Sam’s reaction in every case was ‘okay that’s fine, let’s never mention this again--also I’m not going to do that; you just do what you want to me and I’ll figure everything else out on my own.’

Mind boggling.

Zero skills in that department.

Ned thought it was absolutely adorable.

MJ thought it was funny as fuck.

“Matt is useless,” Peter told them. “Absolutely useless. He’s done this shit for twenty fucking years and he’s just letting Sam work it out on his own?”

“Maybe that’s his teaching method?” Ned pointed out.

No, it absolutely was his teaching method. But that was the problem.

Fuck.

“Sam,” Peter said on the phone a while later, “Listen, buddy. I recognize that you are allergic to feelings, but this is what we have to do to get what we want.”

Sam hung up.

Dude.

“Threatened,” Ned said. “Come on. Gimme.”

 --

 Ned accused Peter of not telling him that Sam was Chinese. Peter told him that Sam’s twitter was literally half-written in Chinese.

Ned accused MJ of not telling him that Sam was Chinese and MJ said simply ‘my bad’ and got away with that shit, like she always did.

Unbelievable.

Johnny asked if Sam was interested in a superhero-sandwich and Peter got to take his aggression out on his pressure points.

Still, though, Peter was kind of glad that Ned was leading the charge on this. Firstly, because Ned so rarely stepped into these things with authority and it was really warming and lovely to see him so interested in bringing another person into their polycule. And secondly because Ned had the lightest touch of them all.

Peter, MJ, and Johnny were all helmet heads wielding hammers. The only thing keeping them from self-destruction were all the YIELD signs they’d set around their circle.

Ned typically just waded in between them all to tug Peter and MJ out of the battlezone and into a semblance of humanity.

So it was nice—no, it was cute that Ned was developing a little crush on Sam.

MJ thought so, too.

“I do love fresh meat to tenderize,” she said.

Peter stared.

“That is not the vibe we’re going for,” he reminded her.

MJ waved him off.  

 --

 “Peter.”

What’d he do now?

Ned held the phone seriously out to him.

“Tell Sam I want a picture of him to put on the wall next to my mirror,” he said.

Peter blinked.

“That’s creepy, dude,” he said.

“It will make him laugh and he’s still not comfortable sharing yet,” Ned said. “But he trusts you more than me.”

Ah.

Right.

Okay sure.

Peter texted.

Sam sent back only eye emojis.

Ah.

“So,” Peter said while Ned tapped a foot impatiently on the kitchen linoleum. “There’s something you should know.”

Ned cocked his head at him.

 --

 “Dude,” MJ said. “That’s wild.”

Sam’s eyes were, uh, how to say.

Inhuman.

Johnny shrieked, took the phone and climbed into Peter’s lap.

“He’s so cute, Peter, bring him home, I’ll be so nice,” he pleaded.

Johnny was not the one who was going to need reminders to be nice.

“How does he see?” Ned asked.

Uhhhhhhh.

Oh, you know…

Not well.

Johnny lowered the phone.

“He’s blind?” he asked.

“Not blind,” Peter said. “But low vision.”

The room seemed to go quiet for a minute.

“Is Matt his—”

“No,” Peter sighed.

“Are you sure?” MJ asked. “These coincidences are stacking.”

“No,” Peter repeated. “His dad’s Chinese. He was born in Fuzhou, I think.”

“Oh,” MJ said.

“So he can’t see very well,” Ned repeated.

“He does okay in daytime,” Peter said. “And he does best with high contrast. But like, pictures can be hard sometimes if they’re too light or too dark. He doesn’t really ask for much help, but he and Matt kinda puzzle over stuff if you’re not careful. And if you’re extra not careful, they’ll make their own memes and they’ll be full of blind jokes.”

The room held still for another moment.

“Okay, so what do we need to do?” Ned asked.

 --

 The first time the others met Sam, Peter had to chase him down the hall and even then, it was only via Matt’s aid that he was placed back in Peter’s apartment.

Matt pointed a finger at Sam’s eye and told him that he was to stay ‘right fuckin here’ until he was done at the courthouse.

“Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars,” Matt said as Sam tried and failed to bite that finger. “I want an intact paralegal by the end of this trip, and I will not have an intact paralegal if you go around gettin’ noticed by the fuckin’ Irish, yes?”

“I can take ‘em,” Sam said.

Matt sneered.

“I don’t know why I bother,” he said. “Stay. Those are orders.”

“Fuck your orders,” Sam shot back at him, to the horror of everyone else in the room.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘fuck your orders,’ whatever,” Matt said. “Stay put.”

Sam bared his teeth after him.

Only when the door closed, did he finally give notice that other people were in the room. Johnny lit up.

“You’re short and angry,” he said.

Sam rounded on him.

 --

 MJ loved Sam now.

MJ told everyone else to get out, Sam was the only person who mattered.

Johnny thought that Matt needed to come back and take his rabid dog with him. Sam told him to stay out of his face and they wouldn’t have any more problems, but, seeing as Johnny was incapable of not adding fuel to fire, Peter kept him behind himself for the time being.

Ned was probably the person in the most shock of Sam, however.

Peter forgot how Sam came off to other people.

Very unassuming. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. His prosthetics hid his black sclera, and even if he did tend to lift his face towards the light more often than other people, he did it so subtly, you’d think he was nodding along to a tune in his head.

Sam looked like your friend.

Your neighbor. Your classmate. The one with the baby face, you know.

His hair was getting longer, Peter noticed. He pointed it out and Sam softened enough to tell him that he was going for something a little more hipster.

“If I let it keep going, it’ll start swooping,” he told Peter. “The swoop is very in right now, Peter.”

Peter believed him.

He had no idea what that meant. But he believed him.

“You know what’s not in?” Johnny asked. “Friendly fire.”

Sad sneered at him.

“I ain’t know you from Adam,” he snapped.

Ned lifted a fist to his face in a sign that Peter recognized well and it took everything in him not to smirk and start teasing.

“Okay, let’s start over,” Peter said. “Sam, these are my friends, or, uh. Our polycule, if you will.”

He had Sam’s attention now.

“Polycule?” he asked.

Indeed.

“’Cause it’s shaped like a molecule,” MJ said. “And everyone here is also a nerd.”

Sam looked at her.

“You’re MJ,” he said.

“You’re Blindspot,” MJ said. “What makes you blind?”

“The trauma,” Sam said without missing a beat.

Peter waved Johnny off and set his hands on Sam’s shoulders.

“Sam’s made an invisibility suit,” he said.

He had everyone’s attention now.

“You did what?” Ned said.

Sam blinked and then shrugged a shoulder.

“What, like it’s hard?” he asked.

Oh yeah.

He was gonna fit in fine.

#samuel chung #peter parker #ned leeds #michelle jones #johnny storm #fic #ficlet #inimitable verse #the discord is going to destroy me truly #I love everyone in this bar #Matt is old and grumpy

[mermaidsneedwater]

second chances | chapter eight

series page

The Dream

You sat on the Vespa, your arms locked around the riders waist. Cruising through the streets of Italy, you hooted happily.

“I never want to go back!” You cried out happily, your arms up to the sky.

You felt the vibrations of the rider's chest as he chuckled and slowed down the Vespa. Stopping in front of an ice cream stand, he got off the scooter, his black leather jacket and helmet still on. As he moved to bring the ice creams to you, you called out “Yugyeom!”

The rider came closer, dropping the ice creams in his hands. He removed his helmet, and you stepped back.

“Jaebeom.” He corrected you. Jaebeom reached out to cup your cheek tenderly, “don’t forget me baby…”

You bolted up in bed as your heart raced. You wiped away the tears that had fallen, and ran a hand through your hair. You looked to see the sunlight streaming in through the window.

“It was a dream…” you whispered to yourself. “It was just a dream.”

Hoping to distract yourself, you woke up to see a couple messages from Yugyeom.

Yugyeom: so i invited my parents to the performance tonight… they said they’d be there.

Yugyeom: are you coming

Yugyeom: i don’t know if i can do this.

Sighing, you quickly replied.

Y/N: Thats great news!

Y/N: Of course I’m coming tonight.

You contemplated adding in ‘you’re going to be great.’ but decided against it. Tossing your phone to the side, you turned to Nora who sat firmly on your legs.

“I’m not going to forget him, Nora.” You told her. “I won’t let it happen.”

+++

After your exchange from the morning, Yugyeom hadn’t responded to you all day.

Feeling a strange sort of emptiness, you frowned. Usually he’d send you dumb jokes he’d seen on the internet, hoping to make you smile. Sometimes he’d send you videos of him dancing goofily, knowing you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself from laughter.

One might say you were missing him.

Before you could confirm the possibility, you shook it out of your head. You couldn’t possibly be missing him. And even if you were, which you weren’t. Friends miss each other, that was a thing, right?

Knocking on your front door, Chaeyoung peeked her head in “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you nodded softly. “Did you bring your car?”

“Oh… Actually Bambam picked me up.” She said sheepishly. “He said he’ll bring us there and have you dropped back.”

Picking up your purse, you walked out the door and walked to the elevator with Chaeyoung. “Wow, you guys are getting pretty close aren’t you?” You raised an eyebrow, teasing her.

Chaeyoung gave you a weird look before shrugging.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, concerned. “The Chaeyoung I know would be bouncing up and down because of this.”

She bit her lip, unsure if she should confess what she felt.

“Tell me.” You said kindly.

“Oh god Y/N, I just don’t know! I can’t let myself get involved with him when I know he’s leaving in a month. I’m scared that he’ll just break my heart and then leave.”

You looked at her sadly before pressing the elevator button. “Everyone leaves eventually. You should enjoy the time with him that you have. You can figure out the rest later.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She agreed quietly.

As the two of you walked out of the building, you were met with a black Audi parked out front. Compared to the other cars in the lot, the car Bambam sat in stuck out like a sore thumb.

“Woah, is this yours?” You asked, getting into the backseat.

Bambam closed Chaeyoung's door and hopped in the driver's seat before responding, “Nope. It’s Yugyeom’s. It took me two hours last night to convince him to let me drive it.”

“When did he buy this?” You said, shocked that he had such a nice car now. “And what happened to Honey?”

You were of course referring to Yugyeom’s old car, one that had broken down on one of the nights the two of you were hanging out.

“I think he got it last week? His company gave him a real nice advance on his salary. Apparently he’s been working very hard” Bambam explained as he drove. “Honey is living out the rest of her days in a spare car parts junkyard. It was time for her to go.”

Nodding you glanced at Chaeyoung who sat in the passenger's seat. You watched as Bambam placed a hand over hers and squeezed it. She looked up at him and smiled, before squeezing his hand back.

“Hey, you two.” You joked, “I’m sitting right here.”

“Sorry Y/N, you’re third wheeling tonight.” Bambam laughed.

+++

Sitting in your seat at the theatre, you couldn’t help but look into the crowd. You wondered where Yugyeom’s family was sitting. Had they even shown up?

“Are you looking for someone?” Bambam asked, noticing you craning your neck.

Caught, you confessed “I’m trying to see where Yugyeom’s family is.”

Bambam looked throughout the crowd with you, “They should be here, maybe they’re sitting closer to the stage.”

Nodding, you settled back into your seat, seeing the lights dim.

Multiple dancers appeared on stage, some as soloists, others in groups. Each with their own unique style of dance. It was clear to see all the hard work they’d been putting in, and how talented they were.

Finally, Yugyeom appeared on stage blindfolded. He gracefully completed his routine, gliding through the movements. He was the most graceful you've ever seen him. If before tonight you thought he was an excellent dancer, his performance proved how professional he was. Towards the end of the routine, he ripped off the blindfold and was greeted with a roaring crowd.

Bambam, Chaeyoung, and You stood up, applauding and hooting for your friend. Catching your eye in the crowd, you could swear he blushed. Bowing, he waved and walked off the stage.

As all the dancers appeared back on stage for a final bow, they were welcomed with a standing ovation. People cheered, whistled, threw flowers, and clapped as loud as they possibly could. As the curtain closed, guests filed out of the theatre to leave, the three of you moved with the crowd.

You reached for your purse, groaning when you realized you’d left it at the seat. Tapping Chaeyoung on her shoulder, you informed her that you’d be going back to get it and you’d meet them at the exit.

Pushing through the crowd, you let out a breath of relief when you saw your seat with your bag still underneath it.

Walking up the stairs you could’ve sworn you heard someone call your name.

“Y/N?” The voice called out again.

You scanned the almost empty auditorium, searching for the voice. You spotted a man in a black dress shirt and black dress pants. He waved to you, and motioned for you to come over.

“Hi?” you said, confused at who the stranger was.

“Hi, sorry to call you out like that, but I thought it was you and I just had to make sure.”

“I’m sorry but who are you?”

“I’m Yugyeom’s older brother, Euigyeom.” He smiled and held out a hand for you to shake. “Now I’m a bit insulted, Yugyeom hasn’t mentioned me?”

Now that he’d told you, you were embarrassed that you hadn’t figured it out yourself. The brothers looked exactly alike and had the same teasing spirit.

“I’m sorry, he has. I just didn’t recognize you.” You laughed. “How did you know who I was though?”

“Yugyeom doesn’t talk to our parents, but we still talk, almost everyday actually.” He explained. “He’s sent me a couple of pictures of the two of you, he never shuts up about you.”

You blushed, looking down, “I see…”

Euigyeom added, “It’s nice to see that he has a girlfriend now.”

You froze, “Oh, I’m not his girlfriend. We’re just good friends.”

“If you say so.” he responded.

“Did your parents end up coming? He was really nervous about tonight.”

“They did, suffice to say I think they understand their son a bit better now.” He smiled at you. “They went to see him right now. Actually I should get going, I’m their ride home.”

“Well it was really nice meeting you.” You told him, smiling. “I hope things work out within your family.”

“I have a feeling everything will be alright.” Euigyeom said. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I know my little brother and he never would’ve called our parents. He’s stubborn and emotional. I know it took an outside person to knock some sense into him.” He said. “I want to thank you, for whatever you said to him.”

“It was nothing.” You smiled. Waving goodbye, you grabbed your purse and proceeded to walk down the steps.

+++

As Yugyeom shied away from the group’s compliments, you knew he was glowing on the inside. Tapping on the steering wheel, he tried to restrain the large, dorky grin plastered on his face as he drove the car and listened to your rave reviews.

“You were too good man!” Bambam said.

“Yeah! I didn’t know you could move like that,” Chaeyoung added.

Yugyeom glanced at you from the steering wheel, eager to hear what you would say. “What did you think Y/N?”

“Eh. I’ve seen better.” You shrugged without a care.

Biting back a laugh, you watched as his face fell. “Really?” He asked sadly.

“No! You were incredible,” You smiled. “I’m very impressed with you Mr. Kim, you have my utmost respect.”

“Thank you, Thanks guys.” Yugyeom grinned. “I’m glad you all came.” Pulling up in front of her apartment building, Yugyeom unlocked the doors. “Goodnight Chae, thanks for coming again.”

“See you Gyeom, bye Y/N” She waved goodbye. As she left the car, Bambam got out too, walking her to the door.

You watched from the passenger seat as Bambam kissed her goodnight.

“Young love.” You murmured. “They’ve come so far. Who knew?”

“I know right.” Yugyeom agreed, tapping on the steering wheel. “We’ve come pretty far too, huh?”

Softly smiling, you turned to look at him, “Yeah.”

Before he could say anything else, Bambam was back in the car. Looking at him through the rearview mirror, Yugyeom said “I’ll drop you off first Bam, and then Y/N.”

“But that doesn’t make any sen-”

Catching Yugyeom’s glare in the mirror, he quickly shut up and finished his sentence “sure, that’s great.”

The ride to Yugyeom’s was quiet, the radio playing softly in the back filled the silence. Bambam mumbled “thanks, see you” and quickly got out of the car. Yugyeom reversed the vehicle before heading back on the road.

“You know you could’ve dropped me off before, then you wouldn’t have had to make two trips.” You said finally.

“I don’t mind. Besides, we haven’t talked at all today and I kind of missed you.” He said, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Kind of?” You teased him.

“I did. I really missed you.” He softly smiled. “Did you miss me?”

“Nope.” You laughed as you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Ouch. It’s okay, I know you get nervous around me so that’s why you’re not saying it.” Yugyeom assured you.

“Right…” You laughed. “Oh! I met your brother by the way.”

“That couldn’t have gone well.” Yugyeom shifted uncomfortably in his seat before glancing over at you, “What did he say?”

“He was nice. He told me your parents came, and that he thinks that things will work out.” You smiled. “He also thought we were dating… something about how you’re always talking about me.”

“I’m going to kill him.” Yugyeom said through gritted teeth, his one grip on the wheel tightening and a fist forming in the other hand.

You reached over and placed a hand on his fist, “It’s fine, I told him we’re just friends.”

With your touch, his anger melted away as he unclenched the hand. Obviously affected by your touch, he cleared his throat and moved the hand back on the steering wheel. “I’m still going to kill him.”

As he pulled into the parking lot in front of your apartment, he sat still in the car, not moving. You sat in a comfortable silence before you spoke, “Hey, your SNU keychain!”

Looking at what you were pointing to, Yugyeom looked in the palm of your hand to see what you were holding. Sure enough, it was a keychain with the school’s mascot, a crane. “Oh yeah,” he said softly. “It was a graduation gift from Bambam.”

“I think I already told you but Jaebeom went there.” You smiled fondly.

“I wonder if we ever ran into each other,” Yugyeom thought aloud.

“He was two years older than us, so I doubt it.”

“I wish…” Yugyeom started, he then abruptly stopped, catching himself.

“What?”

“I wish I’d met you earlier.” Yugyeom admitted not meeting your gaze. “I wish you’d been mine first.”

Oh no. Between Bambam, Chaeyoung, and Euigyeom it was hard to miss the signs. You panicked as you realized where this conversation was headed.

“Don’t Yugyeom.” You warned him. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t say anything else.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I can’t keep quiet anymore. I know it’s fast, but I’m falling in love with you.” He said, turning to face you. “And I know enough to see that you like me too.”

Don’t forget me. Jaebeom’s words from your dream rang in your ears.

“I- I do like you a lot. But I can’t give you what you want Yugyeom, please try to understand.” You pleaded. “You should be with someone better than me. Someone who can give you everything you deserve. I’m just… I’m too broken to love you.”

Frustrated, Yugyeom turned to look out the window and then back at you. “You’re not broken Y/N! You’ve just closed yourself off to any possibility of love after Jaebeom. You might tell everyone that you’re happy, but I know you. You may not be alone but you’re lonely, anyone can see that. So why won’t you just let yourself be happy? Would that be so bad?”

“You don’t know anything.” You said angrily.

You left the keychain and unbuckled your seatbelt quickly, slamming the door and storming off to your apartment.

chapter seven | chapter nine

#got7 #yugyeom #yugyeom got7 #got7 yugyeom #kim yugyeom #got7 fics #got7 fluff #got7 angst #got7 masterlist #got7 imagines #got7 scenarios #got7 reactions #got7 drabbles #mnw works

[woossexyponytail]

You belong to us.

Woosan x reader. Werewolf Smut. 18+

Warning: Sexual assault. Swearing. Breeding kink. Sexual tension. Basically very kinky. Enjoy the story.

I sat at my desk just browsing through the internet headphones on and ignoring the outside world. I heard a bang from the entrance making me jump in my seat, taking off my headphones slowly I listened as I heard Yeosang's voice along with his friends.

I rolled my eyes sighing in annoyance as I placed my headphones back, now blocking the loud and rowdy group of guy's that just came in. Focusing back on my screen I started reading a few news articles from today.

A few songs and an empty tea cup later I sighed needing to head to the kitchen but not wanting to see my roommate and his friends, now don't get me wrong Yeosang is a great roommate, he is nice polite a real gentleman, and so are most of his friends, though he does have two best friends that I'm not so keen on.

San and Wooyoung just thinking about them made a shiver run up my spine, those two were not fun to be around.

I grabbed my cup and walked out of my room and to the kitchen, unfortunately for me I have to walk throught the living room to get to the kitchen, I kept my eyes forward to the door of the kitchen.

"Hey! Yn! Babe! Why don't you join us?" I hear San say to me but I ignored him carrying on walking. Hearing a tch the room started talking again ignoring me, though I still felt two pears of eyes staring at me.

Finally to the kitchen I filled up the kettle with water and placed it on the stand waiting for it to boil, grabbing the milk, sugar and tea bag I slowly started making my tea.

As I worked I felt a hand slap my ass, jumping at the feeling and the hard slap, I didn't even need to look up to see who it was, glearing at Wooyoung as he leaned on the counter next to me a obnoxious smirk on his obnoxiously beautiful face.

"How many times do I have to tell you to not touch me?" I asked him as he just chuckled as he winked at me, I then felt hands wrap around my waist and a chin lean on my shoulder. At the feeling I froze not liking how close San now was, Wooyoung raised an eyebrow at my reaction.

"Aw can you blame us Yn, your body is to irresistible not to touch" San said, I felt his hips grinned in to me a soft moan leaving his lips that was next to my ear. I gulped feeling him hard already, my face felt hot knowing I was blushing. Looking up Wooyoung was staring at us with hunger in his eyes as he bit his lip.

"Stop" I said moving away from San, his hands left my waist as I turned around now glearing at him, San wore a smirk just like Wooyoung as he also chuckled. As my attention was on San I felt Wooyoung's hot breath on my neck, I felt him drag his lips up to behind my ear.

"Why are you fighting it? We all know you want us. We smell it" Wooyoung said, his tongue licking up my neck, I felt a shiver as I closed my eyes and my breath hitched at the feeling. It was like a drug or something overpowering me.

Wooyoung wrapped his arms around my waist his hands going up to my breasts, while I felt San's hands run down to my ass squeezing it hard, Wooyoung then bit the right side of my neck the same time San bit the other side.

The pain mixed in with the pleasure, loving the feeling of both of them against me, I didn't know how long I stood there with them, but a cough interrupted us as both San and Wooyoung moved away from me.

Looking over I see Hongjoon one of the oldest of the group standing by the door glearing at San and Wooyoung, his arms crossed, without saying a word he moved his head to the side, both of them leaving their heads down almost like shame.

"I'm so sorry about them Yn, Are you alright?" Hongjoon asked walking up to me and rubbing my arm. I nodded not trusting my voice, god knows what it sounds like at the moment, but Hongjoon just apologized again leaving me in the kitchen by myself.

Standing there in shock for a few seconds trying to understand what exactly happened, San and Wooyoung have always been clingy and touchy with me, but not to the point where they both bite me.

At that thought my hands quickly reached my neck feeling the dampness, moving them away both hands covered in blood, my eyes widened in shock staring at my now bloody hands. The kettle clicked to tell me it's done and taking me out of my daze.

Quickly whipping away the blood on my neck with a damp cloth, I grabbed the kettle pouring the hot water in to my almost forgotten cup.

My cup now in hand I quickly made a run for it back to my room, not making any eye contact with anyone of the eight males that are sitting in the lounge, their chatter now silence as I made it back, though now I felt all of their eyes on me.

Getting to my room and closing the door quickly making the door slam, I placed my cup on top of my desk, as I started heavy breathing from the anxiety. Did the others know what happened between Wooyoung, San and myself, or did they hear it or worse did San and Wooyoung blab their big mouths.

Whatever it was I know that once they are all gone I have a lot of explaining to do to Yeosang, he told me from the very beginning to stay away from them. Sighing again I grabbed my cup having a slow drink of tea to try and calm my nerves.

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A few hours later I ended up laying on my bed my laptop next to me as I watched a movie to decract myself from the action between Wooyoung, San and myself earlier, I had almost forgotten what happened until Yeosang knocks on my closed door asking to come in.

Yeosang poked his head in a small smile on his face as he made his way to the end of my bed taking a seat. I paused the video and sat up now facing him.

"I'm sorry about San and Wooyoung earlier" he said looking down not wanting to face me, I raised my eyebrows in shock but I did feel like he would know about that.

"Why are you apologising or Hongjoon for that matter? It should be Wooyoung and San to apologise for their behaviour not you" I told him getting a bit angry now at the situation. Yeosang sighed rubbing his head.

"I know that, but you also know San and Wooyoung pretty well. They won't apologise for that Yn, they like you to much they can't help themselves. But that's not an excuse" Yeosang quickly said raising his hands up in defence.

"Wait what's that on your neck?" He asked probably noticing the two bit marks on my neck, I sighed rubbing at the one on the right side of my neck, it hurts a lot more then the other side.

Yeosang moved closer taking a good look, with how close he was I heard him catch his breath almost like in shock, he moved away from me our eyes now connected I could see fear in his eyes, why I don't know, do I want to know? That I'm not so sure of.

"I'm so sorry Yn, I shouldn't of let them do this, I didn't mean to bring you in to this" he whispered as he hugged me to his chest, I felt stiff as he held me close not really understanding what was going on.

"I'll try my best to protect you from this" he whispered, I pulled away from Yeosang my hands landing on his shoulders.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I asked starting to get worried, Yeosang smiled but I saw anger in his eyes.

"Just go to sleep, see you in the morning" he said as he pressed a kiss to my forehead, standing up and walking to the door, turning off the light and closing the door behind him.

I picked up my laptop turning it off and placing it on the floor leaning it against the bed, getting under the covers I closed my eyes and in a second I was off in dream land.

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A noise woke me up, I jumped up as I looked around the room seeing that it was pitch black, looking over at my clock seeing the time, 2am, I sighed as I placed my hand to my head.

"No you don't understand" I heard from the other side of the wall, It sounded like Yeosang's voice. Why was he up this late and who was he talking too?. I wondered.

"No I don't want them anywhere near her" he said, frowning my brows I pulled the covers off me, and slowly getting up walking to the wall that I shared with Yeosang room. Placing my ear there on the wall I listened closely to what he was saying.

"They both bit her! You know what that mean. They can't, I won't allow them near her, she is not just my roommate but my friend" he said, so he was talking about me, but why? what does he mean? I wondered again.

"No! I will not calm down Hongjoon! No don't put Seonghwa on the phone, Hi Seonghwa.." Yeosang spoke, so he has been talking to Hongjoon, well Hongjoon did see what happened but now Seonghwa?.

"Yes I'll make sure she stays at home tomorrow and not go out, alright night" Yeosang said hanging up the phone, I creeped back to my bed getting in and trying to go back to sleep.

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My alarm went off as I groaned stretching out my body and listening to the radio now on, yawning I got up and left for the bathroom to get cleaned up.

Coming back to my room, I looked through the woodrop and picking something to wear for work. As I changed in to black jeans and a white blouse, I stood infront of my mirror looking at the two huge bite marks on my neck I sighed grabbing my makeup.

Finally after a few minutes I got the bite marks hidden, putting the bag down I went to the kitchen to get some coffee and breakfast.

I sat down on the sofa with the toast and coffee, browsing through my phone, the tv was on the news playing in the background.

Hearing the door to Yeosang bedroom open then close softly, his footsteps padding against the wooden floor as he walked towards me. I looked up at Yeosang giving him a smile and then going back to my breakfast.

"Made me any breakfast?" He asked chuckling know that on week day I never really had time. I gleared at him shooing him off to get it himself.

"Are you going to work today?" Yeosang asked me as he walked back with his own coffee cup in hand, sitting down next to me on the sofa.

"Of course, the animal's can't heal themselves" I said laughing finishing up my toast. Yeosang grabbed my arm stopping me from leaving, looking over at him, he placed a hand on my forehead.

"You have a bit of a temperature, why don't you call in sick? You don't want the animal's to get whatever you have right?" He asked, I grabbed his wrist taking it off me.

"What has gotten in to you? I'm going to work Yeosang, you can't stop me" I said standing up from the sofa walking to the kitchen, Yeosang following me trying to convince me to stay home today, as I cleaned up my plate and cup.

"Yeosang stop!, I don't know what's up with you but I'm going to work. Whether you like it or not, now I got to go before I'm late" I told him as I walked out the door, not seeing the fear in Yeosang eyes as I left.

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Walking in to the vets I smiled at the receptionist Hyuna as I took off my coat and placed it on the hangar, walking in the back to take a look at the animal's something was off.

As I walked down the aisle every dog I walked past would growl at me, and the cat's would hiss while at the back of the cages. Looking around all animal's reacted badly towards me.

Walking to one of the manager's office I knocked softly on the door waiting for the manager to let me in. A quiet come in was heard as I opened the door a shy smile on my face as I looked at my manager Hoseok.

"Yn! how can I help you?" Hoseok asked jestering me to sit down infront of his desk, taking a seat I told he what just happened and it was a bit weird.

Hoseok straightened in his seat sniffing the air, he pulled back a grimace on his face now, I asked if he was alright, he said he was fine with a forced smile on his face.

"Why don't you take a few days off Yn, you've been working so hard and maybe by the time you come back the animal's will have calmed down" he said smiling at me, I looked shocked at that not expecting him to send me home.

I nodded slowly standing up and walking to the door, I stood on the other side thinking why I was sent home.

"Damn that smell is strong, no wonder the animal's reacted badly, stupid wolf's always overpowering" I heard Hoseok say through the door, I raised my eyebrow not knowing what the hell was going on. First Yeosang and now Hoseok, did something happen that I don't realise?

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Getting home I opened the door and placed my bag on the table and taking my coat off placing it on the hanger and taking my shoes off.

"Yeosang I'm home, you never guess what happened today, it was so weird" I yelled out walking to the living room and seeing Yeosang sitting on the sofa still where I left him.

"What happened?" He asked as he turned around smiling at me, I sighed slumping down next to him as he pulled me in for a hug, leaning my head on his shoulder telling him about this morning.

"That is weird, and what Hoseok said too, I wonder what he meant?" He said, I turned around looking at him confused.

"Your lying? Do you know what's happening?" I asked pulling away from him watching his face closely, Yeosang eyes widened a bit but controlled his expression quickly.

"Uh no I have know idea" he said, at that I punched him in the chest, though I regretted it immediately the moment I heard and felt a crack in my hand. I froze tears spilling at the corner of my eyes as Yeosang grabbed my hand softly moving me to the kitchen.

"Shit, Yn really?! Are you alright?" He asked looking at my hand, I looked down and started crying harder shaking my head no, Yeosang swore under his breath.

"Come one let's get you to the hospital" he said as we made our why, I clutched my hand to my chest in pain. We got in Yeosang's car as he drove off the the hospital.

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Thankfully I didn't break my hand and it was just a fracture in one of my bones. A wrap and a scolding for punching someone the doctor sent me home, Yeosang laughing the entire way.

"You know it's your fault" I mumbled to Yeosang as as he dove us home, Yeosang just laughed at that shacking his head.

"Your the one who punched me" he said laughing louder, I rolled my eyes at him mumbling about not knowing he was made out of rocks.

Yeosang parked the car as I got out I noticed a few more cars that were park as well owning to Yeosang's friends, I turned around glearing at him not wanting his friends here.

"Now before you start complaining they are only here for you. I told them what happened and want to see if your alright" Yeosang said holding up his hands.

"Oh that makes it better" I said glearing at him as we made our way up to the apartment, getting close to the door we already heard the loud voices of the guys.

Yeosang opened the door letting me walk in first as I glanced at the group as they all turned to us. They all smiled at me sweetly even Wooyoung and San, I raised an eyebrow at Yeosang who just shrugged.

"How are you feeling Yn?" Seonghwa asked walking up to me and placing his hand on my shoulder, I heard a low growl from Wooyoung and San but stopped the moment I looked at them.

"Like I punched a wall" I told him the others chuckled at that while Seonghwa smiled at me squeezing my shoulder.

"I'm gonna head to my room, later" I told them walking to my door, the group looked around at each other, Yeosang grabbed my arm stopping me from leaving.

"Actually Yn, we need to talk to you about something" Hongjoon said as Yeosang dragged me to the sofa where the rest was. Looking around they all had a serious expression on their faces.

"What is it?" I asked looking between them all, Yeosang, Seonghwa, Hongjoon, Yunho, Mingi, Jongho, San and Wooyoung. I waited patiently for them to say something.

"Yn, we are werewolfs" Hongjoon said with a straight face, at that I looked at every single one of them all with the same expression, I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"You guy's are funny, you sure made me feel better" I said the laugher getting louder, Yeosang frowned sighing as he rubbed his head.

"I told you she wouldn't believe it" Yeosang said looking over at Hongjoon, I looked between them and to everyone else, they all just looked serious, but both San and Wooyoung kept their eyes on me th whole time.

"Fine will make her believe" Wooyoung said standing up and walking towards me a smirk on his face as he got closer, Yeosang immediately stood up pushing Wooyoung back, San grabbed Wooyoung to stop him falling over after the heavy push.

"Don't you fucking dare! You two are the ones you started this, she wouldn't be in this situation if you two just left her alone!" Yeosang yelled at the two, I just froze not knowing what to do.

"Oh get over yourself Yeosang! She would find out anyway whether you like it or not" Wooyoung yelled getting right in his face San next to them chuckling at the situation.

Yunho and Mingi stood up pushing the two away from them to keep the peace, I looked over at Seonghwa who was still sitting next to me, he smile whispering sorry to me. I heard cracking like bones or something, turning around both Yeosang and Wooyoung started transforming.

"Uh oh..." Jongho said as he Seonghwa and Hongjoon grabbed me and started pushing me to the door, though the moment they touched me San was by my side in a second, he growled at the guys as they growled back.

"Let go of her she's mine!" San said pulling me to his side, the others rolled their eyes at him, then pushed all of us out the room.

"Wait what's going on?" I asked looking between them all I turned to look at Yeosang and Wooyoung to see now two huge wolfs fighting each other in the middle of the living room.

"What the fuck!" I said in shock I saw a brown wolf and black wolf biting at each other, at my yell the two wolfs stopped and looked over at me, then both started to transform again.

Now standing were the wolfs were is a naked Yeosang and naked Wooyoung, Yeosang blushed grabbing the blanket while Wooyoung just stood there with a smirk on his face, my eyes widened at him our eyes connected as he winked at me.

"Will you both please put some god damn clothes on" I said looking away from them already seeing to much of them, the guys all chuckled at my reaction.

"Wooyoung as much as I love seeing you like that, our dear baby girl is embarrassed so put some cloths on will you" San said giggling, at that I flushed red keeping my eyes on the ground.

"Don't worry Yn, you'll get use to both myself and San naked" Wooyoung said as I heard him walk away probably to Yeosang room. I felt a hand place under my chin, looking up San stood infront of me a smirk on his face.

"You enjoyed the show didn't you, don't worry you'll be able to touch soon enough" San whispered in my ear, I pushed him away as I stood next to Seonghwa and Hongjoon.

Yeosang and Wooyoung came walking in both with clothes on now, Wooyoung walked towards me still a smirk on his face as he winked, Yeosang looked sheepishly at me with a blush on his face.

"Sorry about that Yn, I got carried away" Yeosang blushed harder as he apologized, I nodded not knowing what to say, Seonghwa pushed me down on the sofa a couple leaving now that I know.

Leaving Yeosang, Hongjoon, San and Wooyoung in the living room with me while everyone else left. Looking back at them I raised an eyebrow wondering why they were still here.

"We are all wolfs, but um the reason we told you is because your a mate to two of the wolfs" Hongjoon said rubbing his head as he stood up and left, I looked back at Yeosang as he smiled sheepishly and left, now leaving me with San and Wooyoung.

They both smirked at me standing up and sitting on either side of me, they placed their hands on my thighs both leaning in to whisper in my ear.

"You are both our mates, meaning you belong to us now" San whispered in to my ear, "And you can't deny it, you feel it too" Wooyoung whispered in to my other ear, they stood up and walked out the apartment.

Sighing I walked over to Yeosang room and knocked on his door, opening I looked in seeing him on his bed. I sat next to him. "I'm sorry Yn, I should of told you soon before they bit you" Yeosang said as he apologized again.

"Just tell me what a mate means?" I asked he nodded as he sighed, "A mate is a companion a lover a soulmate, wolfs only have one, San and Wooyoung are mates, but your also their mate. I don't understand it but it can happen" he explains.

"So the reason they have always been acting like that is because I'm their mate?" I asked Yeosang just nodded. "We're all going out tonight, why don't you join us?" He asked, I agreed as I left Yeosang in his room.

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I stood infront of the mirror wearing a short black dress with long sleeves and a slit at my chest exposing a bit of my breasts, my hair was wrapped in a messy bun, and my make up was simple with light brown eyeshadow and nude lipstick.

I walked out the the living room seeing Yeosang watching the tv, at hearing me enter, Yeosang looked up his smile dropped as he saw my outfit.

"You are so screwed" Yeosang told me shacking his head, I stared at him asked what he meant. Yeosang sighed glearing at me.

"You know that we're werewolfs, you know that your the mate of both San and Wooyoung, and you dress like that, they're going to be all over you" he said I shrugged my shoulders as I walked to the door.

"You want them to don't you?" He asked as he rushed up to me and grabbed my shoulders to look at me. "Yn please I beg you, be careful werewolves are harsh when it comes to sex, with both of them they will hurt you" Yeosang said fear in his eyes.

"Yeosang really, I'm not going to have sex with them" I told him rolling my eyes as I opened the door and walked out, not hearing the last thing Yeosang said.

"You won't have a choice now" he sighed closing and locking the door behind him rushing after me.

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Making our way to the club that Hongjoon picked the guys said they will already be there, I sat in the car with Yeosang as he drove saying about needing to be sober for tonight. I started feeling my hands get sweaty with anxiety for some reason.

Yeosang placed a hand on mine, he always knows how I'm feeling. I looked down starting to wonder why I put this dress on, It is way to short and my legs are way to exposed, I started panicking a little bit.

"Hey, don't worry you look gorgeous and nothing will happen to you I'll be there remember" Yeosang told me I nodded calming down again. I looked up seeing the club lit up in the night, Yeosang parked the car as we left to go in.

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The club was dark, noisy and hot, to hot that I was already sweating. Yeosang grabbed a hold of my hand and lead me through the horny crowd, I’m surrounded by strangers as the music starts to pound the room, I see the bodies slowly swaying moving side to side enjoying the music.

Breaking free from the sea of people we walked to one of the large booths at the top, I could already hear the group before I saw them, hearing Wooyoung's loud dolphin laugh over the loud music.

The first one I noticed was Yunho since he was standing up looking out at the dance floor, probably wanting to go and join the crowd. Next to Yunho was Mingi, a beer in hand and talking to some girl who looked like she worked here.

As we got to the table everyone else was sitting at Hongjoon sat at the end smiling up at us, next to him was Seonghwa with an apologetic smile on his face, next to him was San then Wooyoung who both had a small group of girls sitting around them. Seeing that made my chest tighten not really knowing why.

Jongho was the last sitting on the other side looking uncomfortable about the situation a small smile on his face as he kept his eyes on his drink.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Yeosang yelled, the volume of his voice made me jump as I looked over at his questioning why he was so mad. Yunho and Mingi stood beside me immediately both putting their hands on my shoulders.

I looked up at them raising a brow wondering why they did that but I was focused back on Wooyoung and San when I heard them growl, the girls were thrown to the side being told to get lost as they scurried away from the table.

"What the hell guys!, this is why I don't like the thought of you near Yn. You can't even be loyal to her" he yelled to them, my eyes widened at that now seeing why he was angry.

"We're giving her time, the moment she accepts us will both stop" San explained, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his excuse. Yeosang placed me down next to Hongjoon as he left to get drinks.

"How have you been Yn? You must be exhausted" Seonghwa asked still next to Hongjoon, I nodded not wanting to speak since I wouldn't be heard anyway over the music.

Yeosang came back passing me a gin and tonic as he sat down in front of me, Yunho and Mingi already left to the dance floor, Jongho sneaked away aswell while it was Yeosang, Hongjoon, Seonghwa, San, Wooyoung and myself left at the table.

“I wanna play a game!" Wooyoung yelled at the top of his lungs as he started laughing, San agreed immediately as his eyes landed on me and winked, The rest of the guys sighed knowing that Wooyoung would get his way.

Wooyoung clapped excitedly at them not refusing the game, his eyes also found mine giving me a wink, I sighed hating how my power these two have over me already.

"I dare you all to drink three Bacardi shots in a row, the last one to drink has to tell a secret, but not any secret; it has to be a fantasy, the kinkier the better” Wooyoung said as he smirked over at me.

"I'm to sober for this" I whispered as Yeosang quickly got up to grab the drinks for the game. A few minutes Yeosang is back with twelve shot glasses and a bottle of Bacardi, he also placed a large glass of water infront of me.

"Right right on the count of three we take the shorts, One, Two, Three!" And with that we all downed the drinks as quickly as we can. Looking up my vision already going blurry, I saw that San was the last one to drink.

"Oooh San you have to tell us a kinky secret" Wooyoung said giggling non stop as he gazed at San with excitement, Seonghwa sighed hearing him saying something about San never keeping secrets and they probably already know it.

"Okay. My biggest fantasy is having a threesome with the two people I love most, my darling Wooyoungie and My baby girl Yn" San said giving Wooyoung a kiss a then looking over at me winking.

I turned away blushing, definitely not expecting him to say that, I glanced up at Yeosang as he just pushed another shot towards me, knowing that I would need it for this long night.

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The night went on to the point where I wasn't thinking clearing I some how ended up on the dance floor dancing along with the crowd the music blaring.

I was in my own little world for a few songs until I felt hands wrapping around my waist pulling me closer to someone, our hips touching I looked up seeing Wooyoung smirking down at me, his face was clear but the rest of my vision was still blurred from the alcohol.

My body took over as I wrapped my arms around his neck as we danced together, Wooyoung's head was on my shoulder as he started kissing my neck, I moaned enjoying the feeling once again.

"I wanna see you lose your fucking mind" Wooyoung whispered in my ear, I groaned out his name, hearing him chuckle then attacked my lips as we started making out, he pulled me closer as my hands ran through his soft but sweaty hair.

"I wanna see your bodies grinding just for me" I heard San whisper as he moved in closer to get a better look at us, I heard the hunger and desperation in his voice, like he was holding himself back.

Wooyoung obliged to San's request grinding in to me, feeling him hard already against me, I started feeling wet with desire. Wanting no needing more needing Wooyoung to go further then just grinning against me.

I heard a whine behind me next to my ear, San put his hands on top of Wooyoung's that were placed on my hips San now grinning in to me for behind, the feeling had me lost in the pleasure not realising that we were still at the club surrounded by on lookers.

I felt some of the alcohol leave my head as I got in control again, I went to pull away from the two but they both stopped me holding me still.

"Don’t you wanna turn the beauty into the beast Yn?" San asked as he whispered in my ear looking over at Wooyoung as he started at me with hunger and lust.

"We're just what you need" San whispered again my body craving their touch more, I bit my lip as I nodded my head agreeing with them, Wooyoung looked up at San as he smirked at him, moving closer to whisper to the both of us.

"I think it's time to head out don't you think?" Wooyoung asked as he pulled me out of the crowd and to the door, San following close behind his hand on the lower part of my back, both rushing me out.

"Wait! Yeosang doesn't know-" I tried to say but thry both just grinned saying he already knew, I we got outside the fresh cold air hitting my skin making me shiver.

The two pulled me to their car, San sat in the drivers seat as Wooyoung pulled me in at the back, his lips attacking my neck as his hands glided up my thighs giving them a squeeze.

"I'm going to tear you apart" Wooyoung whispered in my ear, his hand placed on my inner thigh, hearing San chuckle at what he said, my breathing hitched at the thought of the rest of my night with these two.

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Wooyoung managed to behave himself through the rest of the car ride back to theirs, San dragged me up to their apartment as Wooyoung stay behind me, probably looking up my skirt as we walked up the stairs.

The moment the door closed their hands were on top of me roaming around feeling me up, Wooyoung was the first to take his top off, I froze realising what was about to happen, and I loved it.

They took me to their bedroom, San took his shirt of Wooyoung and San shared a look at eachother then both of them ripping my dress off me leaving me in my underwear.

"No bra? Naughty girl" San said chuckling as he walk towards me, Wooyoung standing back just watching, San placed his mouth on my breast kissing and nipping at it, I moaned placing my hands in his hair tugging at it.

"Let's get you settled baby girl, you will not be able to walk tomorrow after we're through with you, that's for sure" San said, I sat down on the bed. I could see both San and Wooyoung hard under their jeans, Wooyoung started to whine as he saw me looking at him.

"San I can't wait can we just all do it or at least let me go first?" Wooyoung whined to San as he rubbed his cock, San chuckled kissing Wooyoung watching him be impatient.

"It's up to Yn to decide, how about it baby girl, would you want to do have sex one at a time or all together? And I would make it quick you don't wanna see Wooyoung impatient" San said I looked between them biting my lip.

"Both" I said my voice weak as I looked between them, San and Wooyoung smirked at me as they both took of their jeans and immediately got on the bed kissing my body.

I was on my knees as Wooyoung placed himself behind me he slowly rubbed his throbbing dick against my ass, his arms wrapped around my waist as he licked my neck, San sat infront of me waiting patiently for his turn.

"I'm going to breed you so good, baby girl" Wooyoung said as he entered me from behind as I gasped at the feeling, he pulled me towards him as I sat on his dick my walls already squeezing around him, San growled at the sight as he leaned forward and placed his lips roughly against mine.

Wooyoung started moving at first it was slow but a few seconds he started picking up the pace, sliding in and out of me as my lips were still on San's.

"Wooyoung could you lean our baby girl down?" San said, he moved away a gleam in his eyes, Wooyoung's pace slowed as he put his hand on my back pushing me down on the bed, my mouth right next to San's cock.

"Take it all in baby girl" San said as he put his hand on my head pulling me nearer to him, I looked up at him, he look down at me a lustful smile. I opened my mouth as San placed himself in my mouth.

"Fuck" was all he said as I started bobbing my head up and down, my tongue swirling around him, Wooyoung thrusted harder making me moan causing vibrations on San dick making him moan too.

San started to thrust in and out of my mouth fast both of them at the same speed and both going pretty hard, I already felt exhausted. Wooyoung started to moan, pressure between my legs was growing and getting tighter with each thrust Wooyoung made as he came inside of me, "You can take my knot baby girl" Wooyoung grunted, then San not so soon after came.

"Swallow it all baby girl" San said as I gulped down the hot liquid, Wooyoung pulled me up so I was sitting on his lap, dick still in me, San brushed some hair out of my face as I caught my breath.

"I'm gonna make you take this knot and put a litter of pups deep in that womb of yours" San said, Wooyoung pulled out of me and San quickly shoving his dick in me to stop Wooyoung's cum from getting out.

"Your so fucking beautiful" San said as he pulled me over to him, my arms wrapping around his neck as he started thrusting in and out of me, Wooyoung's hands placed on my hips as San's was on my back.

"Is it alright if I go the back end baby girl?" Wooyoung asked me his voice soft as he waited for me to answer, I nodded quickly wanting him in me again, Wooyoung slammed in to me, feeling both of them thrusting deep inside me.

"I will fill you up with my seed" San grunted as the room fell silent and was replaced with moans and slapping of skin as I layed my head down on San's shoulder getting out of breath, I could feel Wooyoung kissing the back of my neck.

"I'm close-" San breathed out fanning over my head, "Same, what about you baby girl? You close" Wooyoung moan biting my ear, I just nodded my head not being able to speak.

I felt both San and Wooyoung swell again, I moaned at the pain as they thrusted harder, a few more and I came. I screamed as I reached my high.

"Oh fuck!" Wooyoung moaned as he came in me again, and just then so did San as his cum mixed in with Wooyoung's that was still inside of me.

I collapsed back in to Wooyoung's arms leaning my head back against his shoulder, San pulled out of me first the he help me get off of Wooyoung and lay down on the bed, San and Wooyoung layed beside me both licking up and down my body.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked giggling at the touch of their tongues on my, San and Wooyoung both stopped and licked each side of my cheek grinning.

"It's called grooming, we do it after sex, or when we wanna get affectionate" San explained Wooyoung nodding along, the both sat up relishing in the sight with loving eyes, I blushed starting to feel embarrassed.

"We love you Yn, don't forget that. Now that your ours we will protect you" San said as he leaned down and kissed me sweetly then Wooyoung did the same after, they placed their heads on the pillows beside me, both of them cupped my stomach protectively as they cuddled up to me.

"Yes will protect you, starting with that damn vampire boss of your Hoseok" Wooyoung growled, but San calmed him down quickly placing a kiss on his cheek but agreeing.

"Wait what!?" Was all I said, my eyes widened as both werewolves fell asleep beside me before I got an answer, I looked between then, completely knocked out.

"Well fuck" was all I said as I started to feel the effect of our activitie and my eyes slowly started to close, snuggling in to the two werewolves to get warmer. The idea of Hoseok being a vampire placed at the back of my mind as I drifted off to dream land, feeling protected and safe.

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