#sorry this one is more sad i just can't stop hurting our favorite lady

[purple-sea-dragon]

yet another chapter of Cold For Years because i’m a weak bitch with no self control

yeah you read the post title you know what this is about

so chapter two is here!! man in glass part two inspired me to crank out another three thousand words or so. kabert out here giving the gays everything they want

here’s the ao3 link if you want to read it over there with all the tag warnings

Jet knows, in the grand scheme of things, very little about Juno Steel.

He knows the lady is thirty nine years old, and that before he joined up with Buddy’s family he had never before left Mars, and that he is light enough that Jet can pick him up like a sac of stolen creds. He knows that Juno, for a brief period, worked for Ramses O’Flaherty, and that the politician had given him one of the most expensive and invasive cybernetic prosthetic eyes on the market, and because he ripped that eye out of Juno’s head Jet knows that Juno had a twin brother named Benzaiten that had died when the two of them were just nineteen. Jet knows that Juno is a former cop, that he is an above average detective with the ear of almost every socialite in Hyperion city, and that he does not like tea, but he likes it more than being uninformed or the idea of killing another person. He knows quite a bit about how much Juno detests the idea of killing another human being. Juno wears his feelings on his face and his shoulders and his hands, worn thin through years of exposure.

Juno does not like that he wears his feelings, for all that he cannot help doing so. Jet knows this, too.

This smaller version of Juno wears his own identity like a caricature of the lady Jet has grown to respect. He’s snappish and vicious and somehow also painfully uncertain and withdrawn like a shadow of himself, quiet and nervous in a way Jet didn’t know Juno had the capacity to be, in a way that Jet doesn’t like. Their Juno, the thirty-nine year old one, knows how to take up space with his whole personality, and cry because he’s feeling so strongly for another person, and trade quips like he used to be able to trade blaster fire. He is gruff, but kind, in his way. He likes clever turns of phrase and solving puzzles and helping just because he can, even though he pretends not to. He is demanding and loud and settled in himself in a way that Jet admires, even if it is occasionally inconvenient.

He watches Juno from the counter as the eight-year-old finishes his mug of whiskey and somehow manages to hover slightly in Rita’s shadow, even as he’s sitting down. His eyesight isn’t what it used to be but if he squints hard enough, he can make out the individual bones in Juno’s wrists, and the finger-deep dips in his collarbones where there should be more of him, and the tiny divots of burned, glassy tissue where someone has put out almost an entire pack of cigarettes on his shoulder blades. His sweater is hanging off of one shoulder, Jet realizes. Eight year old Juno is significantly smaller than his usual counterpart. Are children supposed to be that small? Jet has very limited knowledge about children. It has been many decades since he was even close to being one himself. He thinks again about his ability to manhandle an adult Juno like a doll and wonders if it is a characteristic the detective will ever grow out of.

“-is that alright, Juno?” Buddy is talking. Jet gives himself the smallest of shakes, bringing himself back to the present.

“Yeah, I guess,” is the sullen reply, punctuated by another gulp of alcohol and a long, weighted pause. “I don’t think it’s smart, though.” Small Juno has the slightest bit of a lisp. Every ‘s’ sound he makes comes out with a very soft ‘th’. 

“Oh?” Buddy quirks her eyebrow. It’s the one hidden by her bangs, so the effect isn’t quite as dramatic as it could have been. “Whatever do you mean, darling?”

Juno shrugs. “Do you know anything about the pyramid other than it’s worth a lot of money and it made me tiny after I touched it?”

“Some,” Buddy admits. “Basic mythology, it’s role in ancient Venusian society. But not as much as I would like, in this current situation.”

Juno nods decisively. “How do you know that if I touch it again it isn’t gonna steal another thirty one years from me and wipe me out of existence completely?”

That’s a valid question, and not one Jet would like to consider at length. The idea of Juno dying is upsetting, to say the least. It appears that the rest of the crew feels the same way, based on the abrupt silence that descends upon all of them. Rita looks a second away from crying, and Ransom doesn’t look far behind her. Vespa looks, for the first time, visibly not upset, which says quite a bit about how upset she actually is.

“We do not know what will happen if Juno regains contact with the artifact,” Jet speaks for the first time since Vespa returned to the kitchen with Juno in tow and this family meeting commenced. “Therefore, we should conduct further research into this matter to see if we can uncover any hidden knowledge. I also believe we should keep Juno away from the pyramid until we are certain of its function.”

“I agree with Jet,” Vespa rasps. “Better safe than sorry.”

He catches Juno’s eye as the child is glancing between them all, giving him a small nod. Juno shrinks into himself the tiniest bit, turning back towards the table and curling even tighter around his empty mug like a cloud of nervous gas around a black hole.

Jet remembers the tears of the medbay and the fear in Juno’s voice as he spoke about his mother, thinks about the decades-long gaps in his knowledge and reminds himself that, in the grand scheme of things, he knows very little about Juno Steel.

It’s a well worn thought, at this point. The sting at accompanies it is profoundly new.

#

Juno likes familiarity.

He’s a simple gal, he thinks. He likes knowing what all his options are in every given situation, what the rules and expectations are, and how likely he is to get in trouble for breaking them and to what degree. In Oldtown that’s not a problem; It’s better to ghost your dealer than have an argument about switching suppliers, the bars don’t card you if you look older than about six, if you’re gonna steal food it’s better to hit up a big store than a small one, and if you even look at a cop the wrong way you’ll end up in a ditch if your lucky and your family will if you aren’t. These are rules Juno knows by heart, ones he hasn’t had to think about since Mama moved them all out to Oldtown and Mick and Sasha started looking after them.

Juno has to take a second and focus on anything that isn’t Mama, or Mick, or Benten. The feelings he knows are there are still just kind of nameless and amorphous and hovering on the edge of his thoughts. He knows if he gives them time to take shape they’ll be too big to come out of for a while, and he can’t do that while he’s here, on this spaceship, and he doesn’t know the rules. The Carte Blanche is so different from Oldtown that Juno has no idea if he’s going to be able to keep track of them all, or how often he’s going to mess up and how bad.

Did he have responsibilities on the ship? He must have, right? Nobody gets to just hang out on a spaceship and not contribute, he doesn’t think, not unless they have a whole bunch of money. Does he still have to do his thirty-nine year old jobs even though he’s eight? Are they gonna show him how to do them or does he just have to figure it out? Unless they just want him to stay out of the way, in which case he wouldn’t blame them. He’s probably a lot less useful as an eight year old. Should he leave the room if someone comes in to do something? Which rooms are okay for him to be in? Everything looks so different from all the buildings he’s been in before he doesn’t know what he should and shouldn’t touch. Just the thought of messing up something important because he couldn’t keep his stupid hands to himself is making him tremble a little. His fingers clench around the now-empty mug that Miss Vespa had given him in the infirmary. He doesn’t know how she knew he was craving a drink, but he’s not going to say anything. Talking about it might mean he doesn’t get anymore. Fuck. Alcohol is expensive, why would they give him any in the first place? Do they have different rules about what food is? Miss Vespa gave him juice in the med bay- do space pirates eat food, or do they only have drinks? Can he get food if they do have some? Does he have to get his own food? When is he allowed to eat? Is he allowed to eat? Are they the kind of people that will tell him he’s not allowed to eat but let him get away with if he can sneak it successfully, like Mrs. Mendoza in second grade computer class, or are they the kind of people that will beat his ass to martian dust if they notice something is missing? Mister Bartane who lives next to Sasha is like that, and they have to run away from him a lot when he gets it into his head that one of them has snuck into his yard and taken something. He’s got bony knuckles and he knows how to use them, and they’re well acquainted with Juno’s ribcage.

Juno needs to stop thinking before his mind goes to a bad place and he shuts down again. He already did that once today, two times would be nigh-unbearable. He’s already embarrassed enough about that, he doesn’t want to make anybody any more annoyed than they must already be by the fact that he messed up and made himself tiny.

They’re all still sitting in the kitchen, long after their “family meeting”, as Miss Buddy calls it, is over. Miss Buddy, he knows, is in charge because she’s the captain. That alone is enough to make Juno wary of her. A title means authority means power means pain. She’s very tall and very pretty and she calls him “Darling”, but she calls everyone darling. Nothing about her makes Juno feel safe. Juno thinks that he shouldn’t touch her, or her stuff, or anything that looks important, because she might get mad at him and shove him out of an airlock. That’s something space pirates do, right? When he can bring himself to look up even a little bit, his eyes catch the way the lights glint off her manicure, a bright carnelian red.

He thinks about clawed, painted fingers and cigarette smoke and decides that today has been too much already, and that he very much would like to get out of here while nobody is trying to stop him.

He sets his mug on the table and shuffles forward until he can hop off the edge of the chair, pushing it in with both hands and then taking the mug to the sink. He can feel eyes on him as he stands on his tip-toes to reach over the counter, and pretends he doesn’t. He keeps his gaze on the floor, trying not to make eye contact with anyone, especially Mister Jet, as he shuffles back to the table.

Mister Jet is another person Juno thinks he’s not going to touch or talk to or look at if he can help it. He’s just- he’s very big. He’s so large that there might not be enough room for Juno in any room that Mister Jet is also in. He’s very tall and he has big, rough hands that look like they could get a real good grip on any part of Juno he pleased. Juno remembers the way Mister Jet had picked him up in that fancy gold room with one hand and then threw them both out of a very high window into a big green car that Mister Peter was driving, and the way he had loomed over him in the med bay, and decides very quickly that he doesn’t want Mister Jet to touch him ever again thank you very much.

He reaches out and catches the end of Miss Rita’s sleeve, giving it a little tug to get her attention. She turns and smiles at him. “What’s up, Little Mistah Steel?”

“‘M tired,” he mumbles, eyes still on the floor. She hums.

“You wanna go to your room?” she asks. He nods. She stands and holds out her hand to him, and after a moment he shakes his head and grabs the end of her sleeve again. Her shirt doesn’t have chip flavor powder all over it, after all. She doesn’t make a big stink about it, which he’s grateful for. If he got yelled at for something that small he doesn’t know if he could handle it right now. They exit the kitchen, and Juno turns over his shoulder to throw a shy wave at Miss Vespa, who smirks back at him.

The bedroom Miss Rita takes him to is about as big as the room he shares with Benten, but it’s filled with a lot less stuff, even though it’s just as messy. The walls are gunmetal gray like the rest of the ship, bare with the exception of a small mirror and a shelf above the bed. He can see a few sets of clothes in the open closet and almost all of his drawers are open in some form or another, but he’s too tired to sift through thirty one years worth of decisions he doesn’t remember making, so he lets Miss Rita lead him to the single bed pushed into the corner. He collapses on the already rumpled sheets, pulling one of the pillows over to cling to. It smells like laundry soap. Miss Rita tugs the covers over him, carding one hand through his hair. Just this once, he thinks that’s fine. He doesn’t want to look at her though, he feels bad enough having to bear the weight of everyone’s disappointment so early on when he knows it’s just gonna be worse later, so he just stares at the only closed door on the wall across from him. It’s probably a bathroom.

“If you need anything, you come get me okay?” she says, taking a step backwards towards the door. “I mean it, Juno. I don’t care what time it is.” He nods and gives her a very small thumbs up. She smiles that big, toothy grin of hers again and turns to head for the door. “Goodnight, Little Mista Steel. Sweet dreams!” She hits the light switch on her way out the door and the mechanism shut with a soft hiss, and then Juno is alone in the dark.

Finally, finally, he lets the feelings come, and shoves his face into the pillow as wave after wave of- god, something heavy settles in his chest, weighing him down like a big boulder, being eroded by screaming sandy wind in the middle of an unforgiving wasteland. Everything is wrong, everything about him and this situation and the world around him. How can anything be okay again? Benzaiten is dead. His baby brother is cold in a grave next to his Mom on a planet he never should have left a billion, billion miles away from where he is. Everything he knows is so far away it might as well not even exist anymore. How many days has it been, since Benten died? Juno thinks his older self probably knows, probably counts every birthday and holiday and every second Saturday and knows exactly how much of his life has been lived alone. That’s not the kind of thing he would forget. Not when the only person in the universe that actually matters is six feet under the rust, older and smarter and kinder and better than Juno will ever get to be, and still gone and never coming back. He lets the pillow absorb his tears, wishing he could smother himself but knowing it would be pointless. If thirty nine year old Juno hadn’t managed to do it, eight year old Juno didn’t have a chance in hell.

Without Benten’s comforting warmth at his back, it takes him a long, long time to fall asleep.

#

Rita wanders aimlessly towards the rec room, steps heavy and tired and feeling her age as this absolute mess of a day comes to a close. She collapses on the couch, reaching for the remote and flipping it between her fingers, not bothering to turn on the monitor. For once she doesn’t feel like watching a stream, at least not alone, and she doesn’t think anyone else is in the right headspace to watch “Comet Island Adventure 4: The Leviathan Has a Bomb Now and Demands to be Taken Seriously”.

Little Mistah Steel is completely different at eight years old than he was at twenty three, and it’s a different that makes Rita sick to her stomach. At least when Juno was an adult he had some coping mechanisms, even if they weren’t in the same star system as healthy or safe. But baby Juno is just- small. Not just physically, either. Small in a way he hasn’t been for years, like he’s afraid to take up space and make decisions and ask for anything. Small like he doesn’t think he deserves anything. Small like he was after Diamond, but worse now because he’s a child, he’s a baby, and she’s the one that did this to him. She’s the one that sat down and stared him down in both of his eyes and told him that his brother is dead and his mother is responsible and that his dreams of being a police officer don’t work out and that his life is nothing like he ever wanted it to be.

She doesn’t realize she’s shaking until Jet is there on the couch next to her, taking the remote from her trembling hands and turning on a random stream. He settles in next to her, close enough that she can feel his warmth but far enough away that she could lean away and it wouldn’t be a big deal. She feels a thread of warmth for her large friend, letting herself fall sideways until she collides gently with his arm.

“Are you alright, Rita?”

She sighs. “Yeah. No. Yeah.” He moves his arms out from under her head, moving it instead to wrap around the back of the couch. She rests her head on his ribcage instead.

“Those are conflicting answers.” His voice rumbles through the entire side of her head.

“This has been a pretty conflict filled day, Mistah Jet,” she shrugs, letting her eyes watch the stream but not putting any real effort into paying attention to it. “I had to tell Little Mistah Steel about a lot of real terrible stuff that happened to him today, and I know it hurt him pretty bad to hear. I don’t think he’s okay, and if he’s not okay I can’t be okay, y’know?”

Jet nods. “I understand. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nah,” she mumbles. “Not tonight. I just want everything to go back to normal and I want Juno to be better again.” She lets out a little huff of air that could be a laugh but probably isn’t. “None of you except maybe Mistah Ransom know how bad Mistah Steel was, before he lost his eye for the first time. The amount of progress he made in the last year is- gosh, Mistah Jet, it makes me wanna cry just thinkin’ about it. He’s a completely different person. He apologizes for thing now, when he’s made a mistake. He stopped drinking in the office, after that debacle in Newtown. He even talked once about thinkin’ about goin’ to a professional for his issues, which is more than he ever did in all the years I’ve known him.” She sniffs, wipes away a tear and disguises it by tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “And now all of that is gone, and he might not ever get it back, and things were just starting to turn around for him. It ain’t fair!”

“Juno will be fine,” Jet says, patting her shoulder. “All of us are determined to return him to his correct state. We will resolve this issue eventually, and in the meantime we will make sure that Juno is safe and as happy as we can make him. Everything is going to be fine.”

“I sure hope so, Mistah Jet,” Rita says, finally settling completely into the couch and focusing on the stream, letting it carry her thoughts away from the terrible, terrible day they’ve all had.

Unseen in the doorway, Peter Ransom turns and pads silently down hall back towards his room.

#tpp #the penumbra podcast #junoverse #juno steel #rita penumbra #buddy aurinko #vespa ai #jet sikuliaq #peter nureyev #my fic #my writing #cold for years #shgsoufh thanks kabert for giving me the emotional support needed to write this chapter #sorry this one is more sad i just can't stop hurting our favorite lady #got some jet and some rita pov for yall this time #hope this pleases the masses #penumbra fanfic #shoot me an ask if this makes you sad i love getting yelled at #tpp spoilers #benzaiten steel

[tommydarlings]

I Can't Help Falling In Love With You | t.h

A/N: Okay, wow. Tbh, I'm really proud of this and I hope you like it as much as I do! :) (when this flops, then I'm gonna slide down the suislide :D) anyway, enjoy! :) ily,liz <3

pairing: mob!tom x mob!reader

warnings: smut (fem + male receiving) swearing, unprotected sex, daddy-kink, blowjob, choking, violent actions

w/c: 5.1k (omg)

Requests: CLOSED

Summary: The leader of the London Mafia is the devil in person and you would do everything you can to end him, wouldn't you?

masterlist || taglist || requests ( in my masterlist)

"I'm not gonna talk to him father!" I yelled at my dad.

"Why?! It's strictly about business anyway!" he yelled back at me. "I'm sorry father, but I'm not gonna talk to the devil in disguise" i said in a slightly calmer voice. "It's just for a few minutes and it's strictly about the mob, okay? He won't hurt you or something" my dad answerd. After a while of thinking about it, I agreed.

"Just for a few minutes and not more" i said quietly.

"yes, thank you y/n" i just nodded with my head before I made my way into the huge conference room where the devil should be.

I hate this man. I could kill him. The problem is… he could kill me too… in seconds.

Thomas Stanley motherfucking Holland.

And now I should go to him and try to make a deal with him, that's gonna be fun. Probably we can't even start to talk about the deal because we're just gonna argue. Like usual.

I opened the door and didn't even looked up to look if he was here yet-

"Well hello darling"

Fuck.

"Hello Thomas" I said with a fake smile.

"I already told that you can call me Tom babygirl" he said.

"And I already told you that you should stop calling me these nicknames because I don't like them" I told him. "Well guess what baby, I don't give a single shit about it" he said with a wide smile.

I just scoffed and shook my head before I sat down on one of the chairs in the room. Tom sat down on the chair at the exact opposite of me.

"So, let's talk about the deal, okay?"

"Okay" Tom nodded.

---

1 week later, after we finally finished the deal, I could relax and went into the library in our mansion. Most of the time I don't even have time to read, but when I got time then I use it and read a few pages of my favorite books. It's something that kinda brings me back into the real world and calms me down quickly. So I don't want to get disturbed.

But of course something- no, someone had to disturb me.

"Hello darling" thomas said as he entered the library with both of his hands in the pockets of his black coat.

"What do you want Holland" I spat back angrily.

"Honestly? You"

I was frozen for a second. It's not that I like him or anything, like i already said, I absolutely hate this man, but he is attractive, i can't deny that. No women can deny that.

"Cat caught your tongue babydoll?" he whispered quietly in my ear from behind. Of course I had to stay infront of the bookshelf with my back to him right now.

"Hmm?" he said in my ear again while I was still pretty frozen.

"get the fuck out of my way Tom" I said with a slightly nervous voice. Suddenly he put both of his arms on my shoulders and slowly traced his fingertips down my arms. I literally started to shiver as he said that,

"pretty little thing" he whisper right in my ear and left a gently peck on the side of my neck. Then he put both of his hands in mine and slowly rubbed this thumb over my hand.

And I let him. I fucking let him.

"I know that you like it baby, I know it" he whispered in the back of my neck before he started to leave kisses at the side of my neck. He was so gentle and soft. His lips were so warm and they felt so fucking good, wait what-

"Okay, stop" I said as I turned around and pushed him away.

"That's sad, it looked like you really enjoyed it darling" he said while he slowly approached me again. As he took the first step forward, I took one backwards but then I remembered that my back is already against the shelf.

Well fuck.

As he stood infront of me, he put both of his hands next to my head and leaned really close. Our noses were nearly touching.

"You don't have to lie to me princess, you know? And when you really wanna test me, then I dare you to do that, we both know that I'm gonna win babydoll" he whispered quietly while he looked me deep in the eyes.

"You may be a Holland, but don't forget that I'm a y/l/n honey" I told him while I held eye contact.

"Cause you exactly know what I'm capable of, you already saw me fighting and taking your men down easily" I added.

"And you exactly know what I'm capable of babygirl"

"Oh please, you are just as weak as your men are Holland" I said with a quick laugh.

"I'm not talking about fighting love" he said with a tiny smirk.

"About what then champ?" I said with a little smile on my face.

"You know what I'm the best at?" he said as he slowly leaned closer so his mouth was hovering over my ear.

"What" I asked before I rolled my eyes.

"Punishments" he whispered.

And as soon as he said that my smile faded and I was frozen… again.

"I knew you would be quiet as soon as I said that. Have you ever got punished before? You know like, did you ever got a few good spanks and a few edges-"

"shut up Thomas" I spat quietly at him.

"You get turned on from the thought of me spanking you and edging you until you beg me to stop, don't you?"

"I-I, n-no i-I don't" I stuttered.

"Don't lie to me princess" he said while he looked me in my eyes again.

"I don't" I said while I looked down at my feet. "Can you say that while you look me in the eyes?" he asked.

I looked him in the eyes, but I couldn't get a single word out.

"That's what I thought" he said before he put both of his hands back in his pockets again and went to the door.

"Where a-are you g-going?" Why did I asked that?!

"I'm gonna go back to work, if you need someone that makes you scream and cry at same time, and I don't mean that in a painful way, then you know where I am" he said before he opened the door and left.

"God please help me" I quietly prayed before I left the library too and went to the gym.

---

"Tom, let me through" I said in a pretty calm voice.

"No" he answered with a tiny smirk.

"Thomas please! I have to be in the meeting like, right now!" I raised my voice at him.

"And?" he asked while he looked down at me. Sadly I'm shorter than him. "And?! When my dad finds out that you are keeping me up here then you. are. dead, holland." he lightly chuckled before he spoke up,

"That would be a shame wouldn't it?" he said with a wide grin while slowly raced his hand and stroked my cheek with his knuckles. "Tom stop" I told him angrily. "You are so sweet when you're angry, you know?"

"Fuck. off" I whispered while I looked him deep in the eyes. That was the last thing i said to him before I pushed him angrily away and stormed through the door.

"Where the fuck where you y/n?" my dad asked with a slightly aggressive voice. I didn't knew which kind of lie I should tell him, so I told him the truth.

"Tom distracted me" I said while I took a seat. "Tom Holland?" he said while he looked at me. "Of course the holland boy dad, who else?" I spat. "Not in that tone young lady" he spat back angrily before he sat down in his own chair and scoffed before he started to talk about some mob business shit while I held back my tears.

It's not that I hate this life, or the mob, it's just that I would love when someone would give me some love.

---

"Thomas, I already told you that it was a mistake" I yelled at him. "But this mistake could have killed you" he yelled back at me. I looked him deep in the eyes before I quietly said,

"Why do you even care?"

He just stared at me with an open mouth and slightly wide eyes. He looked at me like he just got caught stealing something. "I-I don't care about you or anything, i-i could have been dead too, a-and w-when you would have been i-in trouble, t-then I wouldn't have hesitate to save MY ass"

Slowly, a smile made it's way to my face before I spoke up again,

"You're lying" I whispered.

"I d-don't lie'' he said quietly. "You do, because every time when you lie, you stutter thomas" he slowly approached me. Probably a habit of him. As he stood right infront of me, he looked me right into the eyes. He basically looked me right into the soul before he said,

"I didn't lied and I don't care about you. When you would get killed, then I would stand next to your corpse and would be sad that I didn't killed you" he slowly said.

And as he said that, I just thought one thing,

Don't fucking cry now y/n, you already know that nobody loves you.

I exactly knew that he hates me, just like I hate him, but I would have never said something that cruel to him. But of course I couldn't stop the tears they were threatening to spill. I looked down at my feet before I quickly wiped the tear away.

"Are you cryi-"

"I hate you" I said before he could finish his sentence. The last thing I saw before I stormed out of the big conference room, was a guilty look painted on Tom's face.

---

I sat silently in my bedroom and thought about a few things,

'I can't', 'I can't fucking like him', 'I can't fucking love him', 'It's impossible'. I thought the entire time. We are enemies since the second we saw each other. We hate each other. We have to, we don't have another option. Why am I even thinking about that? He hates me and I should hate him. But I can't. It's not that I adore this man and would do anything for him, I would just sacrifice my life for him-

Fuck.

I'm head over heels for him.

Suddenly someone knocked on my door.

"Come in" I said. Suddenly Tom came in, wearing a tight white button up shirt and dark blue dress pants. He looked so unbelievably hot but at the same time he was my enemy. I thought about his messy hair and rosy cheeks and red lips, they look so fucking soft, I would love to kiss them and touch his body-

"You good y/n?" he asked as he sat down next to me on the bed. And of course he had to spread his legs and fold his hands.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" I answered quickly. God I'm so done.

"I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier, so… I'm sorry"

Did he just seriously apologized? Wow.

"It's okay, you were right" I said with a tiny but sad laugh. "You were right" he suddenly said. "What do you mean?" I said while I looked at him. Tom got up and stood now infront me.

"I do care about you"

"What?"

"You were right, I lied. I really care about y/n, and I'm sorry that I treated you that way"

"Seriously?" I got up now too and stood right infront of him. He just nodded quickly before he said,

"yes, uhm, that's it, I'm gonna go now, by dollface" he said with a tiny smirk before he left the room.

"fuck off" I laughed while I made my way downstairs.

---

"I hate work" I quietly whispered to myself while I buried my head in my hands desperately. Suddenly the door opened and Tom walked in. "Get out of here" he said without any sign of kindness. "What?" I asked with a laugh. "I think you heard me princess, out. of. here" I stood up from my chair and scoffed before I walked over to him.

"No" I said with a tiny grin.

"No?, darling I'm in charge here, okay?, so you're gonna walk out of this room and let me do my work that I have to do, alright?" he said pretty seriously. I shaked my head with a smile painted on my face. "I don't wanna drag out of the room y/n, c'mon" he said with a hint of anger in his voice but I shaked my head and he scoffed. "Why can't you just listen for once." Out of nowhere he grabbed my throat and pressed me against the wall behind me. "You're gonna listen to me" he whispered before he went on,

"When I tell you to do something, then your gonna do it, don't you?" he asked while he looked at me. That went right to my pussy.

"And what are you gonna do when I don't want to do what you say?" of course y/n y/l/n tried to push his buttons. "Then it's gonna get a big big mess babygirl" he smiled. He fucking smiled.

"A bloody mess?" I asked with a grin. "No, no, not a bloody mess but a wet mess" he whispered.

"fuck you" I whispered. "oh yes, I'm gonna do that" he said before he crashed his lips on mine harshly. He put both of his hands on my cheeks while I opened his button up shirt and pulled it off of his body. Just a few seconds later he pulled my shirt off and threw it to the side. "You're eager, aren't you?" I asked while he put his pants off. God his body is a masterpiece.

"Shut up" he said while I put my pants and bra off. "Make me" I said. He looked me in the eyes with a tiny smirk before he picked me up and laid me down onto the table. He went down on his knees infront of me and pulled my panties down my legs before he started to give tiny kitten licks to my already wet pussy.

"Fuuuuck" I whispered before he started to really eat me out. "Fuck daddy" I cried out. "Say that again" Tom said before he sucked on my clit and flicked his tongue over it afterwards. "Oh my God, please daddy" I cried out even louder. He flicked my clit with the tip of his tongue so fast and good that I came quickly.

"FUCK, your gonna make me cum" I said quietly while I arched my back. But after he made me cum, he didn't stopped. He went on with flicking the tip of his tongue quickly over my sensitive clit. I started to wiggle away from him but he grabbed my legs and put me back in place again. "Shh, just a little bit more" he whispered. Suddenly he spit right on my pussy and collected the spit with two fingers before he shoved his wet fingers into my pussy. "Oh my g-god, please" I stuttered out.

He started to pump his finger faster and faster and after a few seconds he found the spot that made me go crazy. "Ahhh fuck daddy please, please, please" I screamed.

"Come for me doll, come for daddy" he said while he looked me in the eyes. You heard right. He looked me in the eyes while he ate. me. out.

"FUCK" I yelled as I came for the second time on his tongue and fingers. After he cleaned me up, he stood up and looked at me.

"You're gonna be a good girl and take my cock?" he asked. "Yes Daddy" I answered back quietly. "Good girl" he whispered in my ear before he pulled his boxer down and started to enter me. "oh fuck" I quickly cursed before he started to ram into me mercilessly.

"So fucking tight, such a good girl, just for me, right?" I just nodded with my head before my eyes rolled into the back of my head quickly. Suddenly he put his hand on my throat again and lightly choked me. And fuck was that good.

"Feels so good d-daddy" I whispered. He put the thumb of his other hand on my clit and started to rub it quickly.

"OH MY GOD" I cried out really loud. "Take it, take it, take it" tom spat quietly. "I'm gonna cum daddy" I told him. He went even faster, with his cock and his thumb. And then my orgasm washed me while I screamed as loud as I could while tears were running down my cheeks.Tom shut his eyes tightly and let out a tiny 'fuck' after he came. But I couldn't even notice more before I blacked out.

---

I woke up in my bed, but I could remember exactly what happened yesterday in the conference room. The worst thing is, I still like, no, love this man. How? I honestly don't know. He just makes me… weak.

I threw my work clothes on and went downstairs into the conference room to see if my father was there but the only person that was in the room was the one and only Tom of course.

"Oh, hello darling" he said politely.

"Hello?" I said but it kinda sounded more like a question. "Are you okay?" he asked me. I just nodded with my head before I made my way to the door again but Tom's hand on my wrist stopped me immediately. "Can we talk?" he suddenly said pretty shy. I just nodded again while I turned around to face him and leaned back against the door. "What's up" I said. What the fuck y/n?! Why would you say 'what's up'? You exactly know what happened yesterday and you can't change it. Neither of you can. What you two didn't knew is that neither of you too wanted to change it.

"Can we maybe talk about last night?" he suddenly said. "Yeah, yeah of course, what about last night?" I asked quietly. "I-I, fuck, I don't know how to say that-" but before he could finish his sentence, I interrupted him,

"You think it was a mistake and you asked me to forget it and to not mention it ever again because you hate me and that was just a stupid one night stand thing for you" I told him. He just stared at me for multiple seconds before he opened his mouth and spoke up,

"No"

"What do you mean with 'no'?"

"y/n, I know how I treated you and how rude and cruel I am to you, but that what we did last night wasn't a damn one night stand" he said calmly. "What was it then to you?" I asked him.

"What was it to you?" he asked me back. I had to swallow before I answered,

"I don't think that it meant the same to you as it meant to me" I said quietly while I looked at him. He let out a tiny laugh before he said,

"It meant a lot to me" hold on what did he just said?!

"What, s-seriously?" I asked with already glassy eyes. I just dreamed right?

"Y/n, when I told you that I would save my ass and that I would be happy when you would be dead, then I didn't meant that at all. I care about you, a lot actually and I would rather sacrifice my ass to save yours" he said with a tiny laugh.

I slowly approached him and asked,

"You are not lying?"

"I'm not lying"

As soon as he said I leaned forward gave him a tiny peck to test if he really wants that, and yes he does, he leaned forward and kissed me properly on the lips while he put of his hands softly on my waist and I put my hands on his shoulders. He slowly started to walk forward so that i had to walk backwards and backed me up against the wall, at first I thought that we are gonna the same thing like last night but he just put one of his hands on my cheek and looked me deep in the eyes.

"I really like you y/n"

"I really like you too"

He kissed my forehead gently before we went on with our little make out session.

---

"Tom, no!" I yelled at him. "Why not?!" he yelled back loudly. "Because, when my dad is gonna catch us in the conference room then we are both dead and you know that!" I screamed at my boyfriend.

Tom wanted to make out in the conference room, that my father is probably gonna enter soon. "Who gives a fuck about him" he yelled back at me. "Tom, how do you think my dad will look at us when he sees us not sliding each other's throats!, What do you think is he gonna do huh?!"

"But we are together y/n, we are in a relationship and we are fucking adults so we are allowed to do that! We love each other!"

"In this world is no place for love Thomas!"

Silent.

I instantly regret what I said. I looked at him and I could already see tears building up in his eyes.

"So you don't love me?" he asked quietly and unsure. "No! That not what I meant. Tom, it's just that this world wasn't made for love, okay? I know that we love each other, you love me and I love you, so so so much tommy but this world that we are living in is dangerous, okay?" I told him before I slowly approached him. I put my hands in his hands and gave him a small but gentle peck on the cheek.

"I love you" I whispered.

"I l-love you too darling" he said quietly.

"I'm so sorry for what I said, I hope you forgive me" I said while I laid my head on his chest. He is always so warm and caring and gentle with me.

"Yeah baby, I forgive you" he said with a tiny smile on his gorgeous face. "Thank you" I answered before I pecked his nose. "I'm gonna take a shower" I said quietly while I looked him deep in the eyes. "Mind if I join?" he asked with a smirk. "Not at all… " I slowly leaned forward to whisper in his ear and said,

"daddy"

Before I could even blink, he threw me over the shoulder and made his way to the bathroom.

---

"Fuuuuck babygirl, you take me so well" he whispered while I tried to take his entire member in my mouth. And fuck was that hard because he was so big. Suddenly he started to thrust his hips and I gagged loudly. "You can take it kitten, I know you can" he spat quitely. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I gagged around him, but It was so fucking hot and rough Tom is the best thing you can get. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum" he said while he shut his eyes. After he came, I swallowed everything and then I stood up and we got out of the shower. He grabbed the back of my neck tightly and turned me around. Our noses touched while he looked me deep in the eyes. "You're mine, understand?" I nodded with my head quickly before he spoke up again,

"That was a great shower don't you thing doll" he said with a huge grin on his face after he let my neck go slowly. I just rolled my eyes before I started to dry my body with my towel. But before I could take my brush to brush through my hair and get the knots out, tom took the brush from my hand and started to gently brush my hair while he stood behind me just in a Calvin klein boxer and grey sweatpants. He gently brushed through them while I watched him in the mirror infront of me. "Mhhmm" I moaned with a tiny smile written on my face. "Don't moan or I'm gonna take you right against the counter princess" he slowly whispered into my ear while he still brushed gently through my hair. "sorry… daddy" he just scoffed before he gave me the 'warning gaze'. I started to laugh and he put the brush aside to grab the lotion. "Are you laughing at me?" he asked with 'fake shook' on his face. "Sorry bubu, your just so sweet" I said between laughter. "You're even sweeter my love" he answered as he applied some lotion on my back and slowly rubbed it in. "That feels good baby, thank you" I said. "No, thank you" he told me while he looked in the mirror where our eyes met. "For what?" I asked with a tiny smile. "For being the best girlfriend ever" he whispered before he gave me a small peck on my temple. I smile before I answerd,

"I love you so damn much Tommy" he rubbed his hands slowly over my shoulders before he spoke up,

"I love you too princess" I used to hate this name, but now I love it.

---

I sat in my room, crying silently on my bed all alone. To have a dad that is just focused on the mob and basically didn't gives a single shit about his own daughter Is hard and it fucking hurts. But luckily i got a caring boyfriend that should be here any minute-

"Hey babygirl, what's wrong?" he asked as he came into the bedroom. "Is it your dad again?" he added after a while. I just nodded with my head before I started to let more sob's out. "No, no, no, you know that I don't like it when you cry princess" he said as he sat down next to me and pulled me into his chest. He hold me tightly in his arms before I spoke up,

"I'm s-sorry" he just looked at me before he said,

"For what?" I looked at him briefly before I looked down at my lap again. "For i-interrupting you t-tommy"

"No, no, there's nothing to be sorry about, okay? I love you and I'm gonna be here for you, you understand?" I nodded with my head quickly before I looked him deep in the eyes. Suddenly he pulled me on his lap so that I straddled him and laid both of his hands on my hips. We both looked at each other's lips briefly before I slowly leaned in and captured his soft lips in a gentle kiss. "I" kiss. "love" kiss. "you" kiss. "so" kiss. "much" kiss. I laughed at him before I kissed his forehead gently and said,

"I love you too so much"

"Can we cuddle?" I added. Tom laughed before he answered,

"Of course darling, anything for you"

I laid down while Tom laid behind me and he threw his hand around me and pulled me into him. "Good night Tommy" I whispered. "Good night baby" he whispered back before we both fell into a deep but wonderful sleep.

---

It was the worst day of your life. Tom was kneeling on the ground, I stood behind him and my father stood infront of us with his gun pointed at me while I had my gun against Tom's temple. Yes, you heard right. Tom's fucking temple.

"Kill him y/n, prove your father that you are strong enough to lead the mob, just like me princessa" my father told me while tears started to build up in my eyes. My father found out about Tom's and my relationship. He went crazy, he freaked out and yelled at us and went absolutely mad. I saw a lot sides from my father already, but not this one. And it kinda made me shit my pants. He demanded me to shoot Thomas so I could prove to him that Tom would be a bad influence for me and the mob. The things is that I would rather die that kill my own fucking boyfriend. Only problem, my father doesn't care.

"You k-know that i-i can't father" I whispered while tears were rolling down my cheeks. "Just do it y/n, it's okay, we had a great time didn't we?" Tom slightly laughed but then I could hear him sob. My father just laughed before he spoke up,

"That's no love that you little kids have, that's just some random bullshit, shoot him" he answered with a laugh. Tom swallowed and I couldn't stop the tears. We both couldn't. "I love you princess, so much" Tom whispered quietly. I just shaked my head while I let sob's out and looked at my dad again. "I don't give a-a fuck a-about the m-mob anymore, I love t-Tom and when you c-can't accept t-that then I'm really sorry" I quietly said. My dad laughed before he said,

"Wait, what do you mean with 'then I'm really sorry' y/n?" he asked.

"I love Thomas, and I fucking hate you" I said before I shot my father in his right shoulder. Tom closed his eyes tightly but when I put both of my hands in his cheeks he opened them again. "Are you okay?" Tom asked me quickly. I nodded with my head before I hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry baby" I shaked my head quickly and answered,

"No, I'm sorry"

"No, you shouldn't be, I'm supposed to protect you, to protect you from situations like that doll, but I didn't and I'm so sorry" he said quietly. "It's okay Tommy, I love you" "I love you too" he said before we shared a loving kiss. After that, Tom and i got up and went to my father who was laying desperately on the ground.

"Fuck you daddy" I told him.

"Why p-princess, w-why" he weakly asked. Before I could response, Tom spoke up,

"By the way, your daughter calls me daddy too" he said with a wink. And those were the last words my father heard. The best last words even in my opinion. I laughed at my boyfriend before he picked me up and ran towards the bedroom.

"What are you doing?" I asked between laughter. "Oh, I'm just gonna make you beg, scream and cry, okay?" he asked. And as soon as I heard these words I was screwed.

"Yes daddy"

"Good girl"

-`ღ´- ᶫᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ -`ღ´-

Taglist:

@goodgirlgonetom @majo240820 @misshale21 @itstaskeen @pure-ghost @justafangirlduh @elizabeth-brown @roseke @onyourgoddamnleft @lovelyxtom

#tom holland #tomholland #tom holland fanfiction #tomholland x reader #tom holland x reader #fanfiction #tom holland fluff #fanfic #tom holland smut #mob tom holland #mob au #tom holland mob au #mob!tom holland #mob!tom

[allegra-writes]

“Heartfelt”

Bar musician! Harry styles x Bartender!Reader

General audiences

Warnings: None

Just some Valentine's day fluff with our favorite green eyed boy. Dedicated to @gaycinnamonrollgirl for giving me the idea, and @tomsrebeleyebrow for patiently listening to me endlessly gush about Harry Styles and still being my friend. Happy belated Valentine's day 💖

"You don't have to say you love me

I just wanna tell you somethin'

Lately you've been on my mind..."

Adore you - Harry Styles

...Oh, she looks so good, oh, she looks so fine

And I got this crazy feeling that I'm gonna ah-ah…

"Bartender, my good friend! I'll have my usual and a plate of your finest chips, if you would be so kind"

It was closing time when Harry, the local musician, sat in front of you, elbows on the bar you were wiping down while humming to Patti Smith's "Gloria".

You raised an eyebrow at him, but the willowy man could see the slight tremble at the corner of your lips, a tell that you were suppressing a smile.

"I'm afraid the kitchen is closed, mister Styles. Sam left an hour ago."

"Yes yes, but I have it from a very good source he left you a big pile of leftover chips before he did," He accused, "you know, as he does every night..."

You frowned in confusion,

"I thought you hated cold fries. That you found them to be, and I quote, soggy and disgusting" 

"I guess you can say I acquired a taste for them" He shrugged, mischievous green eyes sparkling, "Just like you did for this lowlife songwriter in front of you and the heartfelt conversations you share with him" 

"Did you now?" There was an edge of scepticism in your voice, but you were already disappearing inside the kitchen. 

Harry's heart did a little jump as you didn't immediately deny liking him.

"Hey, Joe" he called out, "why don't you go home? I'll help Y/N close when we're done…" 

There was a deaf noise as a young waiter, the only person left in the bar beside the two of you, set the last chair on top of a table. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I got this" he reassured him, "did it dozens of times. Go home to your girl"

"Thanks, mate!" The second brit practically skipped on his way to the backroom, but turned around just before reaching the door. "Listen, you know I like you, but if you hurt y/n in any way…"

Harry smiled, genuinely. He could never get mad at anyone that protective of you.

"You know where I live. Pick my sister on the way, though. I think she would like to join you."

Joe rolled his baby blues,

"I know you're not a creep. I meant her heart"

"Yeah, me too…"

Whatever your friend saw inside Harry's eyes was enough to convince him. He nodded and left, as the musician got up to lock the front door and turn the "open" sign off. 

If you noticed Joe's absence at your return, you didn't comment on it, simply setting the giant pile of chips and two cans of cherry cola you were carrying, down in front of Harry, who had returned to his seat. 

"Ah, you always have the good stuff!" the sigh that left his lips as he took the first sip of the soda was not unlike the one any of your regulars made after the first taste of something strong after a hard day. 

"Rough night?" 

"Kind of. Good show though, so at least I have that going on for me…" 

"It really was, I'm actually impressed" You had to confess, "And surprised too, it was a bold choice going acoustic on a night like this, with such a big audience," So many people had gathered to see the show that the bouncer had to start rejecting people so you wouldn't have trouble with the fire department "but it definitely worked" 

There was a slight blush on the singer's cheeks when he replied, far more humble than you were used to,

"Well, you know, Valentine's day and all that. The band, all have boyfriends and girls they wanted to spend the evening with…"

You tilted your head,

"And you didn't?" It was hard to believe, when almost every night he played there you would see him leave with a different, always sculptural, painfully perfect girl. Or man. 

Harry didn't reply, choosing instead to stuff his face with stale fries.

"Alright then" You raised your shoulder in surrender, "keep your secrets…"

He squinted in disbelief,

"Did you just quoted The Lord of the Rings at me?"

"Did you just recognize my Lord of the rings quote?" You countered.

"You are such a nerd!"

"Look who's talking, chicken little!" You gestured at his powder blue sweater with a yellow baby chick at the front and herringbone pants. 

"Oi!" His manchester accent popped out, like it always did whenever he lost his cool "I'll have you know, this is Gucci"

You scoffed,

"That doesn't make it any better, it just means that you spent a shit load of money to look like my third grade teacher, mister Harrington!" 

"Ok, first of all," he countered, "your teacher sounds awesome and second-"

An inelegant snort escaped your mouth. Harry's emerald eyes pinned you down. 

"Second of all, you're no one to talk either, kitten hoodie" 

You could feel the heat creeping up your cheeks. Praying he couldn't see your blush in the dim light, you took a mouthful of soda to cool you down. 

For a moment, none of you said anything, the sweet notes of Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams" the only thing filling the silence.

… Players only love you when they're playing

Women, they will come and they will go...

"Listen, y/n-"

"If I'm being honest-" 

He chuckled,

"I'm sorry, ladies first" 

"Now I'm not sure if I wanna tell you…"

"Come on" A grown ass man pouting should not be that cute, "I want to know"

You feigned a long suffering sigh,

"Fine, if you must know- If you must know, I actually like your new style. It's way better than that... rock and roll cliche... thing you had going on when we first met" You gestured vaguely in the direction of his body, "You know, the long hair, black clothes, doc boots…" 

He flinched, 

"Ugh, Don't remind me. I was trying too hard back then. And not only with my clothes, with my music too"

"Oh, yeah, I remember. All you used to sing about was" You chose your words carefully, "frisky girls and being horny…" 

"Well, to be fair, I still sing about being horny"

"Yeah, but now you're…"

You trailed off, unsure of how you could explain the difference, the change in your feelings towards his music, without explaining the change in your feelings towards the man that made it.

However, Harry would not let it go that easy. He was used to you being sharp, opinionated, guarded. Now there was a crack on that armour, and he wanted to see what was underneath it. 

You hadn't even realized how close you had leaned into each other until his hot breath fanned over your face.

"Now I'm what, y/n?"

More real. More mature. More emotional, as if he had finally found the link, made the connection between sex and love. 

"More open"

Harry smiled,

"Open. Yeah, I like that…"

So close. He was so close now, his malaquite eyes were out of focus. So close you could feel his magnetic field, the gravity of his atoms pulling in yours.

"Harry…" 

Never in his twenty seven years of life and over ten as a musician, had he heard a more beautiful sound than his name, breathlessly falling from your lips.

"Yes?" He murmured, lips ghosting over your soft, perfect ones.

"No"

"No?"

"No" You repeated, more firmly, taking a step back, putting as much space between the two of you as possible, "I know what this is"

"And what is this, y/n" To your surprise, he didn't sound mad, or demanding. He sounded confused and sad. Dissapointed but unsurprised, as if he had expected it to go south or… never had dared expect it would actually happen at all. 

"A bad idea" You explained, "with guys like you, is always the same: You have beautiful women throwing themselves at you every night. And you take them home with you cause why wouldn't you? You are young, and free and hot. There is nothing wrong with taking what's being offered" 

"Y/n-"

"I'm not saying it's your fault" You went on, ignoring him, "And I'm not saying you don't fall in love, sometimes. But that's the exception, not the rule, and I… I'm the kind of girl that's the rule. Not the exception"

Harry had always thought the worst that could happen to him was losing your friendship. Finally making a move, a real move, and getting rejected by you. He thought that was the definitive pain, the one that would obliterate him, if things were not to work out. And he was almost certain they would not work out. 

But sitting there, in front of you, separated by a wooden bar that might as well have been the great wall of china as you stood there, arms around yourself, small and defenseless as you explained to him all the reasons why you wouldn't allow yourself to love him… that was way worse. 

"What if you already were my exception?" He blurted out, before he could stop himself, "What if I was in love with you?"

You laughed, bitterly.

"Harry, I'm not even your type. I've seen you leave night after night with models and socialites and actors, each one more surreally stunning than the last one…" You didn't have a bad self esteem, you didn't. You considered yourself attractive, but the people Harry usually went for were on a whole different level.

"Yes, but that's only because the most absolutely perfect woman in the world for me, keeps me at arm's length!" He rubbed his face in frustration, "And it's so maddening, so fucked up, the way I can't even get away from her long enough to get over her, because even the pain of seeing her every night knowing I can't touch what I see, that I will never have her, is better than the pain of being away from her. 

So I keep on taking home the hottest people I can find hoping they will keep me distracted long enough to fill the hours until I can see her again… until I can-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Never, in all the time you had known each other, had Harry given you a single signal indicating he had any kind of feelings for you. Your relationship had always consisted of friendly banter and quip battles. Sure, you could get flirty sometimes, but you were a bartender, flirting was pretty much your customer service voice, and he was a musician, he would flirt with his own shadow if he could.

Harry opened his mouth to explain, but a familiar melody started coming from the still working speakers.

Walk in your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind…

"Hey, this is my song!" You didn't quite understand why he seemed so marveled, "You never added any of my songs to your playlist before!"

Oh. Oh.

"Yeah, well" Harry could now clearly see your darkened cheeks as you stumbled over your words, "I guessed I never liked one of your songs so much before" 

This time, he was the one blushing and avoiding your eyes.

"What would you say if I told you-... If I told you I wrote this one for you?"

"I'd say you're full of shit" You scoffed, "Didn't you tell me you only ever wrote about girls you had dated?"

"No," he corrected, "I said I only ever wrote about women that had broken my heart…"

"How did I break your heart?"

Harry sighed. Your walls were back up, higher than ever, and he didn't know how to break through them. It wasn't your fault -and had it been your fault, truth was he could never blame you either, there was something about you that made it physically impossible for him to get mad at you- you spoke from experience, he didn't need to unlock the secrets of your past, didn't need the details. It was obvious you had been burned before, and though he hated it, hated them for whatever they had done to you, he couldn't fault you for trying to protect yourself.

Not when he wanted to protect you too. 

"You didn't like me, back when we first met"

"Harry-"

"No, it's ok. You didn't like me, and you were right not to like me. I know you probably didn't realize it but, that first time you rejected me, when I flirted with you that very first night and you rolled your eyes at me… you changed my life"

"What? How??"

"You weren't wrong, I was a cliche. And I was trying way too hard, to be cool, act like a rockstar… but you took a look at that guy, at that though, playboy, sex, drugs and rock 'n roll guy… and you hated him" Harry snickered. You didn't understand what about all that was so funny, "I had created that guy so that everyone would like him, and you hated him. And the funny thing is-" He finally met your eye. No, he caught your eye and imprisoned them, "The funny thing is, you hating me for what I wasn't, somehow allowed me to start being myself a little bit more, because if you already disliked me… then I had nothing to lose" 

You didn't quite know what to say to that.

His bright green eyes were unable to face yours, choosing instead to focus on the palms he was picking at,

"Is that why you… uhm…" You pointed at his sweater.

"Yup" He admitted, "I showed up here one day, on laundry day, in one of my old nerdy sweater vests and you smiled, when you saw it"

"I remember that!" You chuckled, "It was the brown striped one, it almost looked like a crop top, cause it obviously didn't fit anymore"

Harry nodded,

"I may have had a couple grow spurts since I got that in high school" 

"Ok, but, you made it work somehow…" 

"Thank you. The point is…" he turned serious again, his deep, rich voice even more hypnotic than usual. Or maybe it was just you, for the first time allowing yourself to enjoy it without reservations. "The point is, you didn't like cool Harry, but you liked the real me. Even if just a little bit, and that meant the world to me. I… I adored you because of it. So I wrote a song for you, cause even if I couldn't say it to your face, I had to get it out. Just like I had to get this out tonight"

He opened his arms wide, in his typical ta-da gesture, sad, resigned smile on his face, before getting up from his stool, grabbing his jacket and guitar case.

"You don't have to say anything, I don't expect you to love me back" He declared, "I just- I thought I'd let you know. Valentine's day and all that."

He turned to leave, his own voice still signing in the background,

I'd walk through fire for you, just let me adore you

 Oh, honey…

"Harry, wait!" You almost fell on your face, trying to jump over the bar, but managing to stop him right before he reached the door. His poorly concealed smirk told you he might have seen your little show, but you didn't care.

"Did you mean it? That you'd do anything for me?" 

"I did" He confirmed, earnestly, "I still do. Anything you want, just say the word"

"Well then," you took a step towards him, that he mirrored without even noticing, "what about a date? A daytime date. At a public place." You clarified. Harry did smirk at that.

"What's the matter, afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off me?" He teased, leaning closer. 

"Don't ruin this, Styles" You warned, raising to your tiptoes to meet him eye to eye.

His smile faltered, replaced by the most sincere intensity you had ever seen on his handsome face,

"Wouldn't dream of it, bartender" He whispered, before capturing your lips with his.

#harry styles #adore you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #valentines day special

[extorchic]

TOP 5 SK8 Episodes

So I got tagged by @akira-cr to make this list, it took some time but I think I've sorted out my mind, thank you for considering me 😊. Now here comes the list, sorry if it's supposd to be objective, but I'm gonna let my heart out over here (It's gonna be a long post and I'm not gonna cut it ):

NUMBER 5 - Episode 6 - Steamy Mystery Skating?! (A.K.A. The beach episode 🏊‍♂️)

Well this is supposed to be "breather" episode, and it's basically the one that sold the series to me. I like how fun and chill this episode is, although it does (further) foreshadow Reki's insecurity issues. The music is of course SUBLIME! "Seize the Moment" is probably my favorite insert song of all time! (it's been present in Reki's beefs as well, but here it really reflects the fun nature of his character and the show overall). And of coruse, FANSERVICE, not so much in how the boys were in swimsuits (though I gotta admit Reki does look good in them), but on the RENGA interactions!

That hug gave me life! How Langa was worried 24/7 about Reki being injured, at the end when they skated together to escape from the Bantu! I gotta admit that I have some mixed feelings about the implications of Reki being attracted to the faceless girl (I mean, Bi rep is very important too), but I guess my shipping side was just as jelaous as Langa was supposed to be (according to the fans LOL).

NUMBER 4 - Episode 11 - King vs. Nobody (A.K.A. Reki rising! ✨🌺🌞⚙️)

Reki is, without a doubt, my favorite character. He doesn't need to win, he doesn't need to be super flashy while skating, he just needs to be himself. He's been through a lot, many people (including me) have felt tremendously related to him, and seeing him in this episode is just satisfying. With his issues behind, with a promise to skate with Langa after he wins and no longer fearful, Reki rematches against Adam; and the way he does is fantastic! Taking advantage of his creativity, observative skills and mechanical knowledge on skateboarding, he faces up against the main boss and manages to not only endure his violent ways (which were gruelling to see, TBH), but also SOUNDLY HUMILIATE HIM in front of the whole S Community!

Yes, Adam, the "God of S", in the ground covered in mud by a boy almost everyone dissmissed! It was really sunshine through rainfall! I must also add how much I liked to see his renewed relationship with Langa, how much they treasure their company after patching up. I want to elaborate on this in its own post but I personally see that their interactions from this point on are more, I don't know, tender, caring, still playful but not in an entirely comedic way. The way they see each other is also deeper, anyway, it's just what I see.

NUMBER 3 - A DRAW: Episode 8 - The Fated Tournament! and Episode 9 - We Were Special Back Then (A.K.A. The month in which I was in an emotional crisis because of anime sk8t3r b0is 🍎🐍😭🛹❄🍵🌸 )

This is the point in which I got into the show, and the fandom (Yeah, haven't been around for too long). At this point the show wasn't the same, and I realized it when I caught up. Though there were some cool skating scenes in these episodes, the events that caught my attention were outside the road (Yeah, this was no longer just a skateboard anime, it's a whole lot more). Though I had been mainly focusing on Reki and Langa, I really liked having more backstory related to Joe, Cherry, Adam and Tadashi. Seeing how Adam went through a terrible childhood, convoluted teeange years to culminate in an adult with too much power for his own good and a twisted sense of "love", along with some extremely serious psychological issues was very interesting.

I acknowldge him as a complex villain, but that DOES NOT justify what he did to Cherry. This only proves that just because we know his backstory, we don't have to sympathize with him (Adam's just such a terrible person). On the RENGA side, we see Reki avoiding Langa after their rift, and how this affected both. We have Langa's sadness increase scene after scene, as well as his passion for skating dwindling as progressively. Reki on the other hand, just falls deeper and deeper in his depression, but also being unable to stop thinking about Langa, and he ends up going to S to see the latter's match against Joe. It's hard to see whether there's envy, jelaousness, frustration, admiration, pining or fear of being left behind in his mind. It must have been hard for a 17 y/o.

Reki also defends Langa from people speaking behind his back and shouting his name during the race boosts Langa's performance tremendously. This culminates on Reki realizing that the thing he actually wanted was to skate alongside Langa, not on the side, not as support, but together, he just couldn't. There's also the scene which may or may not confirm that Langa's feelings for Reki are more than just friendship! (Felt represented, for reals).

NUMBER 2 - Episode 7 - We Don't Balance Out (A.K.A. This was supposed to be a fun show!😭⛈️💔️)

I wrote a lot about the episodes in the previous spot, but this is the one that flipped the tables, the game-changer, and the one that hit closer home. It is a sad episode, no races there, it's just here for us to see how the circumstances affect the characters. It was hard to see how Reki, who at this point had been nothing but supportive and proud of Langa, starts to see him flying farther from him. Is it jealousness? Dissatisfaction? Is it fear of loneliness? Adbandoment issues? Is it feeling inferior? Frustration? Not being able to improve? Admiration? Care?

And on top of that a broken promise. I just can't imagine how hard is it for a 17 y/o to deal with all of those conflicting issues in his head, as well as the toxic competitive environment on the "S Community". This just came to show that he wasn't just the excitable, goofy sidekick character, he goes deeper than that, and makes him relatable. We also see a deconstruction of the cool, aloof prodigious character in Langa, as he just can't comprehend what's going on with Reki, and he's hurt by it, but still needs to figure out his own ambitions and desries. This leads to the emotional conclusion of the episode (which in turn left me in the aforementioned 4-week-long emotional crisis, thank you)

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Episode 12 - Our Infinity! - The race was cool, the Renga hug gave me life and everyone had a happy ending

Episode 5 - Passionate Dancing Night! - Despite the beef between Langa and Adam being cool, we start to see Reki worrying about Langa and opening up to him, further deepening their bond.

Episode 2 - Awesome for the First Time! - There's just something special about sharing something you're passionate about with someone else. Watching Reki teaching Langa the basics of skateboarding was heartwarming

NUMBER 1 - Episode 10 - DAP Not Needing Words

After 4 weeks waiting, the anticipation for this episode was gargantuan. Reki's depression was hitting its lowest point, bordering in self-harm, and hurting others as well. Langa continues to look for Reki after seeing him briefly at the hospital while visiting Shadow and we get to see this loving scene where he watches videos of Reki learining how to skate. After confronting Tadashi and realizing that he loves skating because it's fun, he returns home to find out that Langa had been waiting for him but left shortly before he arrived.

This leads to a heartful reunion, where words can't express their feelings, so they resort to do their thing, to skate, and that's where the feelings flow. This is when Langa tells Reki how he admires him tremendously and Reki understands that Langa'll be there by his side, and leaves his fears behind. With a mutual desire to skate together infinetely and a new dap, they rekindle their bond. People watched this show for different reasons, and though I like the skateboarding aspect because it looks cool, my interest leans more on the relationship aspect, and Reki and Langa's is so deep and intimate, and I liked seeing it grow from zero through different hardships (in other words, in all of the years I've been in a fandom, I had never shipped any other pair like these two, I needed to say that).

So I guess it's time to tag some people:

@pico-sour, @sleebycryptid, @elizabethslee, @itsamole, @kaorucherry, @blueflame97, @trieizieme, @tardiskitten, @lady-pendragon-9

So, if you've read until this point, thank you very much (I know it's not supposed to, but this post is yet again a very long "I love Renga" one, but it's what my heart wanted me to write 😅). I'd love to see people other than the ones I tagged showing their lists 😃

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 #sk8 reki #reki kyan #sk8 langa #langa hasegawa #sk8 renga #renga #lanreki #rekilan #top 5 #sk_8

[dekuspet]

Oblivion - Part II

Deku/Izuku Midoriya x Reader x Kacchan/Bakugou Katsuki

Part I here!

Notes: This will be the last part. Thank you for those who wait. I'm sorry, I'm sucker for Villain ____. Figure it out >_<

Another note: I'll make continuation! I'll update part 3 soon.

And the images aren't mine. I got it from pinterest. Ctto.

Genre: Angst, Fluff

"He told me he'll never leave. He lied."

-

Katsuki's mind is swirling. Pregnant? You? With Deku? How?

He didn't have the time to think as his fist reach for Izuku's cheek. You screamed. Izuku coughed blood.

"I'll fucking kill you.", Katsuki's voice sounds like he's crying and angry.

"No, stop it Katsu!", Katsuki softerned as you called him Katsu, again. He looked down to the floor. You asked Izuku if he's okay.

"Why?", Katsuki whispered. You looked at him. He raised his gaze and you saw tears in his eyes.

"Why are you pregnant with him? Why? Why can't you get pregnant before?", he shouted. You avoid his gaze. He looks so vulnerable right now.

"Why with him, teddy bear? Why of all people to fuck, you fucked my best friend?", you looked at him with disbelief. The nerve of this guy.

"Excuse me? We are over. Separated. Divorced. You left me when I told you I was infertile. You never comfort me! I can't believe it too! I am mourning too! I want to give you a family! I want a family. And in my most vulnerable time, you left me. You didn't even ask me if I'm okay. You chickened out after knowing you can't have child with me. This is not my fault, nor Deku. This, all happened because you left. You left. Who am I miraculously pregnant with is none of your business.", you let your anger speak. He stopped crying. He looked at you with wide eyes.

"Teddy bear.",he got near you. He reached your cheeks but you slapped his hand.

"Teddy bear, I'm sorry. I-I didn't used my head. Forgive me.", he whispered.

"Leave. Let us talk.", you're still avoiding his gaze. He stopped for a moment and he sighed.

"I'll not stop here. I will do my best to have you back, and be even the father of that child. You'll come back to me, you'll see.", you looked at him as he said those words and he hugged you all of a sudden. He released you immediately as he smiled at you. He left.

'Tss.' You both didn't notice how Izuku grits his teeth. 'Why can't he just give up?'

-

Katsuki Bakugou is still angry. He can't believe it. He wants to be angry with the doctor that told you you're infertile.

The doctor that told you you're infertile.

He used his connection to find the fucker. It took days for his men to find the fucking doctor. Now, he's smirking at the front of the small simple house of the dumb doctor.

He was about to knock the door down but he heard something. He hid and listen to the noises inside.

"I-I will not talk, I promise.", Katsuki heard a lady said.

"You see, our little secret is something big. You know, I trust you a lot.", Katsuki gulped. It's his bestfriend talking inside. It's Deku.

"But two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.", he said as Katsuki heard his chuckle. It became quiet. Katsuki remain quiet as he wait for Deku to leave. After Deku left, he entered and his speculation is right.

The doctor is dead.

-

"Y/n!", you screamed when your door exploded. You saw an angry Katsuki. You frowned. Him again.

"Kacchan, you can't just barge in to houses like that!", you are with Izuku. You're talking about how you'll both take care of the child. Though, he arrived late at your place so you both just started talking.

"Don't fucking 'Kacchan' me! Teddy bear go away from that devil! He is the root of this. He is the one that tricked us that you are infertile!", Izuku's eyes widened.

"What?", Izuku almost whispered.

"The doctor is your accomplice!", Katsuki is fuming mad.

"Doctor?", Said Izuku.

"Yes, the fucking gynecologist.", Katsuki grit his teeth.

You are confused.

"No, I didn't!", Izuku shouted.

"Yes, you did!", Katsuki shouted too.

"No, I didn't Kacchan!", Katsuki laughed sarcastically.

"Deku, you're a little shit.", he continue to laugh. His fist is ready to punch Izuku any moment.

When Izuku stands up, Katsuki lands his fist right to his cheek.

"Katsuki stop!", you shouted as you shield Izuku. You didn't saw a smirk from Izuku's lips.

"Look, he smirked!", Katsuki said. When you turned back at Izuku, he changed his expression.

"You're fucking delusional!", you said.

"No, I-"

"Look, Bakugou. Izuku can't do that! You're the one that should know that, you're bestfriends since then!", you said.

"I know! I thought he's innocent too!", Katsuki is becoming more and more frustrated.

"Bakugou. Just stop. Leave."

"Teddy bear..."

"I am not your fucking teddy bear! I am not your toy! Fucking stop!", you started to cry.

"He is dangerous, Y/n. He tricked us.", Katsuki started to lose his strength. Seeing that angry eyes of yours is making him sad. Is this the only emotion you can feel towards him?

"You see, Bakugou. Let's say that he did what you're delusional brain is thinking. I will still choose him.", Katsuki looked at you. You saw tears in his eyes.

"You left me. A single sentence, and you run. You didn't even do something to build our relationship before! I wouldn't want to build a family with you. You fucking selfish bastard. Leave!", You shouted at the top of your lungs. You felt pain. And liquid running down your legs.

"Y/n!", Izuku and Katsuki shouted.

"M-my baby.", that's the last thing you said before you past out.

-

"I'll fucking kill you if something happens to Y/n.", Deku's eyes are different as he talked to Katsuki.

"What, you'll kill another one? Are you that obsessed with Y/n? Maybe you're just really waiting for us to be separated. But you didn't find a hole, so you made one, huh?", Katsuki smirked at him. Izuku laughed.

"Atleast I'm not as weak as you. A simple trap made you left her. Thank you for being weak, Kacchan.", Katsuki grit his teeth.

"Just let us be. She doesn't deserve you. You just caused her pain. I will never, ever hurt her. I'll do anything to have her but I'll never hurt even the tip of her hair.", he said.

Katsuki lost his confidence. Izuku's right.

But will it be okay for him to leave you with a killer?

But he said he won't hurt you.

"If you fucking hurt her, I'll be the one to take you down, Deku.", Katsuki said. He slapped Izuku's hand so he can leave. Izuku smirked.

Finally. Don't worry, Kacchan. She's precious to me. I'll protect her.

Katsuki cried the moment he turned his back. He caused you another pain. This time, you almost lost your child. He can't imagine how angry you'll be to him if that'll happen.

-

You smelled something. Is it lavender?

"Teddy bear!", you got excited hearing his voice. You immediately opened the door and you saw him. Mr. Katsuki Bakugou, your husband. He's holding your favorite flower. Lavender. You rushed to hug him. He lifted you and swing you around.

You like his smell, and the smell of lavender. It's perfect.

"I love you, teddy bear."

Everything is perfect.

But like they say, when it's too good to be true, it isn't true.

You hummed. Someone hold your hand.

"Y/n.", you heard someone. Your hand is squeezed. He immediately yelled for doctor.

You opened your eyes and you met pair of green eyes.

"Y/n.", he smiled at you, reassuring you.

You held your stomache.

"My baby.", you looked at the doctor, horrified. He smiled at you.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Midoriya. Your baby is safe.", you sighed in relief.

But, Mrs. Midoriya?

"U-Uhm, I told them we are, a thing. Uhm, am I moving fast? I'm sorry.", Izuku is looking down as his two pointing fingers meet, indicating he's shy. You chuckled.

"It's okay.", you smiled. The doctor left.

"I didn't have the time to tell you this earlier but, can you uhm, uhm. Can we, uhm. Make a complete family? Like, marry me please? You see, I like you and uhm, I know you don't like me too. But you know, I don't want the baby to have misconceptions to what our situation is. But, I am not forcing you! We still have many opt-", you cut him as you kissed him.

"Relax, Izu. I'll marry you.", Izuku's face brightened and he hugged you warmly.

"Thank you! Thank you, Y/n. I love you! I'll protect you. We'll live happily."

-

Katsuki sighed outside. Maybe that's the end. Maybe he's just a nuisance. Afterall, you're right. He is weak. You don't deserve someone like him.

He left with a heavy heart.

Be happy for me, Y/n.

-

"I love you. You're the most beautiful thing I ever laid my eyes on. I'll never leave you.", he said to you as he speaks between your kisses.

"We will make a family. We will make little Bakugous. How many kids do you think will we have?", he smiled.

Looking back at it. He is the reason for your relationship with him. He knows it. He is an asshole.

You're both oblivious of the trap. And he fell for it.

And now you'll have little Midoriya.

-

Flashback:

Izuku is fuming mad. He didn't expect Katsuki to marry you at a young age.

"I'll do something. Then I'll let you enjoy your youth. You'll be mine after that.", Izuku said as he smiled as he burned the invitation to yours and Katsuki's wedding.

#bnha #mha #bnha angst #bnha imagines #mha angst #mha imagines #mha katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki x y/n #kacchan #dekubaku #deku x reader #mha deku #deku x kacchan #mha izuku #midoriya izuku #izuku mydoria #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku x reader #villain deku #villain izuku #bnha izuku #bnha midoriya #mha midoriya #yandere midoriya #bakugou x y/n

[chickentendersnfries]

Theo and I both made our way into Cedric's dorm room, careful not to wake the other boys.

"Cedric," I whisper.

He rolls around in his sleep, mumbling about catching the Snitch.

"Cedric," I whisper more aggressively.

He wakes in a jolt and glares at us both. "What are you two doing in here?"

"Just follow us."

Cedric gets out of his bed and follows us out, then folds his arms over his chest, looking down at us. "What?"

"We need your help."

"To sneak out to Hogsmeade." Theo finishes.

Cedric throws up his eyebrow at us both and I roll my eyes. "Are you two going on a secret date?"

"No!" I widen my eyes. "We're just going to sneak out to Hogsmeade to hang out secretly so we won't get caught by my dad. Just as friends. Isn't that right, Theo?"

He nods.

"You two are getting more game than me." Cedric murmurs. "Fine."

Cedric points a finger in Theo's face making him gasp.

"I want Annie back by 1 in the morning, Nott. If she's not back by 1:00 in the morning then I'll be informing Snape that you and only you snuck out. Understand?"

Theo rapidly nods, eyeing Cedric's finger wearily. Cedric backs away and Theo lets out a deep breath.

"C'mon."

We follow behind him, smiling like idiots because Cedric agreed to help us. Maybe with a few accommodations but it's help nonetheless.

The situation was laughable. Two first year friends asking a third year to help them sneak out to Hogsmeade. Not to mention the fact that the third year is protective over the first year girl to the point where threats were made toward the first year male.

Yep, it was definitely laughable.

Theo and I were still in pajamas, only having on a light coat and a hat paired with almost paper-thin gloves and boots because of the now chilling weather. Despite Cedric's harsh words, Theo's hand clung tightly onto mine. I suppose it was some form of safety as if Cedric would turn around and he'd hex him on the spot.

I knew he wouldn't.

We made sure to dodge Peeves many times and finally we were out of he castle. Cedric turned to us both.

"Come along. Unless you know your way through these woods, I suggest you follow me."

Theo and I gulp loudly and follow after Cedric.

Theo was practically shaking with nerves so I squeezed his hand. "Theo, stop worrying over nothing. Cedric won't hurt you. He's not that uptight." I smile.

Theo seemed to calm at this so I wrap an arm around his shoulders. He leans into my touch and Cedric guides us to the Whompimg Willow.

"Ced, why are we going to the Whomping Willow?" I ask.

"To go to Hogsmeade through the Shrieking Shack."

"Wait! We can't go in there! It's haunted!" I screech.

Cedric turns to me. "Not really."

Theo turns his nose up at him. "How would you know?"

"When I was your age some 7th years shoved me in and locked the doors. I was so terrified that I'm sure I wet myself, but realized that it wasn't as bad as you think. There are mysterious creaks but that's only because of how old the house is. All places do that. Maybe not Hogwarts or manors that are well tended to, but muggle houses. Nevertheless, it's completely safe."

I gulp "Ced, that's— that's actually so sad."

"Maybe, but I'm alright now."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Theo mocks. "What if we die? What's going to happen to us if we die? We could get possessed! Trapped in! Barrons Bloody Ballsack! Anything could happen!"

Cedric raises an eyebrow at him, "You'll have a higher chance of dying in Hogsmeade than the Shrieking Shack, Bucky."

"It'll be fine, Theo. Try not to think about it too much." I whisper.

He grips my hand again and fights back tears as he nods. Cedric turns back around and guides us closer to the Whomping Willow as Theo whispers in my ear,

"Annie, I'm scared."

"I know. I am too, but I trust Ced."

"No, I don't think you understand, Annie. I'm genuinely petrified. Like level 10. I don't want to go in."

"It'll be okay. I promise. Just stay close to me. I won't leave you alone."

He swallows back the lump in his throat and shakily nods, so I rub my thumb over his knuckles which seemed to ease him a bit as I hum softly only for him to hear.

Cedric runs toward the tree.

"Ced! What are you doing?!" I screech.

He pokes its trunk with a stick. Instead of the tree crushing him alive, it stills.

Theo and I look to each other and shrug before quickly running after Cedric.

I turn to him and glare. "You have a death wish, Diggory."

It takes us into what most definitely is the Shrieking Shack and a loud squeaking noise erupts to which Theo tears up again.

His grip on my hand tightens.

We listen as noises flood the place making a few of Theo's tears fall, but I quickly wiped them away before Cedric turned around and saw.

His lip quivered and he was sweating abnormally. I felt sorry for him and soon realized that it was probably more than just a fear of haunted houses.

We were almost out and Theo was on the verge of collapsing. "Hey, Ced! Wait there for a minute."

He nods and turns around. I turn to Theo.

"Theo, it's okay. We're almost out."

"Get me the bloody hell out of here." he whispers.

"We're almost there. Just a few more steps; the door is just a few feet away." I wrap my arms around him and smile. "You're okay."

I let go and look at him. He nods and Cedric continues and finally we're out.

Theo let's out a long exhale and softly chuckles. "This is going to stay between us three and us three only."

Cedric shrugs. "Fine by me."

Theo looks at me. I smile. "You know I wouldn't say anything."

"Good. I don't need the whole school finding out about me freaking out over a house that's not actually haunted."

-

Cedric was long gone and Theo and I were wandering the lit streets of Hogsmeade, making sure that we avoided people who we didn't need to run into.

Hogsmeade at night was beautiful. The colors muddled with the sky and other scenery making it perfect.

Theo brought be over to a very large tree away from the sight of onlookers. It had a ladder that guided you up to the top.

Did I mention that this was a very large tree with fairy lights in it?

Also, the fact that it's a very large tree?

"Ladies first." Theo says.

I throw my eyebrow up at him and he sighs, beginning to climb the tree. I follow soon after and he takes my hand when we finally get to the top.

If I expected a normal tree that just had fairy lights then I was completely wrong.

There's a picnic basket on a big fluffy maroon blanket with many pillows around. There's also a record player next to the basket with many records off to the side in another basket.

We both discard our shoes, jackets, hats, and gloves before settling down.

"Theo this is so pretty. Did you do this yourself?"

"No. Draco and James helped. Draco got the stuff and James gave me a list of all your favorite songs, bands, foods, colors, and much more."

I swipe the hair from my face and smile at him. "Thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

"Yeah. I know you've been nervous about the upcoming Quidditch match and Harry hasn't been around to help you calm your nerves so I thought I'd do something nice. This wasn't originally what we were going to do but now we're here."

"This is so thoughtful. Thank you."

He smiles at me and I look toward the outside of the tree. It was a perfect view of Hogsmeade. It was perfect and we could see Hogwarts castle from here.

Soon enough, On A Plain by Nirvana was playing softly in the background and Theo and I shared chocolate frogs from the picnic basket as we had our hands flat on our stomachs and we laid back on the pillows.

"Theo?"

"Hm?"

"What happened back there? You don't have to answer if you don't want to but I'm genuinely curious. I have a feeling that it's more than just a fear of haunted houses."

Theo softly sighs and glances up at the stars from the open space that was the top of the tree. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"You know I wouldn't."

He softly chuckles and Planet Of Sound by Pixies takes place of Nirvana. "I wasn't always the only sibling y'know. I had an older brother."

I turn on my side and glance at him.

"He always stood up for me against our parents. He was awesome. On Halloween when I was around 5 he took us to a haunted house and it wasn't supposed to scary. It was for kids. He took us there to get out of the house and it was so much fun."

Theo took a moment before continuing.

"We were laughing and having a good time until something went wrong. There were Death Eaters. Unknown ones. Everyone thought they were gone after You-Know-Who went away. I guess they just wanted one last time to terrorize. One of those things that are supposed pop out and scare you was a Death Eater. The person jumped out and shot the killing curse at him. I ran. Hid. I didn't come out until all the screaming ceased. Then I used the nearest floo to get back home."

"That's why you wanted to get out of there so quickly... Theo, I'm sorry.”

"It's not your fault. I'm the one that asked you to come out here. Besides, it was worth it."

I smile and grab his hand as the song switches again. This time to Strange by R.E.M.

"You have really good music taste."

"There's a story behind all of my favorite song because I obviously have great music taste and each and every one of them should be appreciated with a story to go behind it."

Theo chuckles. "What's the story to this one?"

"This one we heard playing at a fair during my cousin's 9th birthday party. I fell in love with it immediately and I got Harry with me and demanded the DJ to give me the name of the song. He gave us an MP3 Player with the song and Harry and I listened to it almost everyday. Vernon took it away though, but it'll forever be one of my favorites."

There's something strange going on tonight

There's something going on that's not quite right

Micheal's nervous and the lights are bright

There's something going on that's not quite right

"You demanded the song?"

"I can be pretty demanding sometimes."

"You seem to really like Rock music."

"Best music to scream to."

Theo nods.

"Besides, this isn't any Rock music. This is Indie Rock music."

-

Theo and I decided that we would make our way back into Hogwarts by going through the woods with a friendly centaur named Firenze who'd found us.

We were now wandering through the corridors trying not to get caught.

We turned a corner and bumped into a large wall.

I stumble back a bit and realize that the wall just so happened to be my father.

"What are you both doing out around the corridors so late?" he drawls.

"We were just um— going to come find you." I lie.

"Find me?"

"Mhm."

"For?"

"Well, we wanted to ask you a question. Right, Theo?"

Theo nods.

Severus glares at us. "In case you didn't notice. It's 12:58 in the morning. It can wait for the sun to come up and until then go back to your respected dorms."

We quickly nod and rush off, running through the halls and laughing with relief.

We went back to the Hufflepuff Common Room to find Cedric on the couch reading.

He looks up to us both and frowns. "I was hoping to hex you both for showing up late but you showed up right on time. Literally. It's 1:00."

"Good." I respond, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "I'm tired and Theo can't go back to the Slytherin Common Room now."

"He can sleep in the badger den—"

"Ced!"

"Fine." He rolls his eyes.

"You can sleep on the floor in my dorm, Theo." I smile.

"Or he could sleep on the floor in mine."

Cedric tightly grips Theo's coat collar and Theo gasps. "No! Not you!"

Cedric chuckles teasingly. "I'm just joking. I don't want you."

I pull Theo away from Cedric. "Stop terrorizing people."

Theo and I go up to my dorm and give him extra blankets and pillows. He makes a blanket pallet on the floor and settles down.

"Night, Annie."

"Night, Theo."

AWWWWWWWW

#faith🌙

[cncoaddicted]

you'll be better without me || Z.D.J.

sorry for the mistake but english isn’t my first language [and it’s also late so again sorry]

hope you enjoy

i don’t really like it but let me know what do you think

masterlist | requests are open

sorry, the photo has nothing to do with the imagine but I needed the baby brown

warning: drugs, prison, our baby zabdiel sad

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2016

you had just arrived home when you felt the smell of your favorite food

"amor, how was work?" your boyfriend zabdiel asked you welcoming you at the door

"good thank you and sorry for the delay"

you smiled as a reflection of his happiness but inside you felt empty

you were lying to the only person who ever worried about you

you were lying to the love of your life

but you couldn't stop

"I cooked your favorite food, are you hungry?"

"I'm not particularly, sorry. I think I'll go to sleep. Why don't you invite the boys to eat here? I think they will appreciate” you answered putting a hand behind his neck and leaving a kiss on his cheek before climbing the stairs and entering your room.

the boys arrived a short time later and in the silence you were in you could hear their words

"how are you going with y/n?" christopher asked

"in this last period she is a bit strange but everything is going well and every day I am more convinced that she is the woman of my life" zabdiel replied

those words hurt you

you knew how much he loved you and you knew how much you loved him

because at that moment he was more important than you and you knew that without you he would have been better

no longer able to resist, you took the bottle from the bag and swallowed two tablets at once

you stayed all night hanging on the door to better listen to the boys' speeches

the suitcases were already ready on the bed, you were just waiting for the moment when the boys would leave the house

hours after you heard the greetings and the door closing, zabdiel was already climbing the stairs when you preceded him opening the door of your room and finding him in front of you

"y/n, what are you doing?" he asked confused looking at the bags in your hands

your eyes were red and your throat burned, perhaps zabdiel had mistaken these signs as symptoms of crying but they were only the consequences of smoking and pills

"I'm leaving"

you started go down the stairs but he was right behind you

"what happened? did I do something wrong?” he asked worriedly

you turned to him feeling already the tears come down, you swallowed ready to say what would have hurt him the most

"I cheated on you" you said, you saw his eyes completely empty and you decided it was time to increase the load

"I wasn't drunk and I don't regret what I did" you answered the questions he was already holding in his head

"I'm just sorry you believed so much in something that had to end just when it started" you continued

zabdiel's eyes were filled with tears, he had never been able to hold back his emotions and certainly not with you

"I can't believe you did it" he almost whispered

"zabdiel I'm sorry" you said with a broken voice, approaching you one step

his head suddenly rose pointing his eyes into yours, both full of tears and he did not hide them, he let them fall from his eyes, descend on his perfect cheekbones until he reached those lips that you would have kissed for whole days and finally fall to the floor

the coldness of his gaze in contrast with the tears, that killed you

you felt so bad that for a moment you thought of going back, of kissing him, of making love with him and of making things come back as before

but things were no longer the same as before

and he would have been better without you

neither of them moved, you're just waiting for his move to leave that house forever

but nothing came, zabdiel was there in mobile so you took the suitcases and walked to the door, closing it behind you once outside.

some days after

"zabdiel" richard called him back watching the television news

"mh" zabdiel replied

he hadn't slept for days, he could only think that the girl he was giving everything to had cheated on him

"y/n y/l/n, this is the name of the young girl arrested for illegal use and sale of drugs. the punishment goes from two to ten years for the girl but it seems that, having been established and her dependence on drugs has been demonstrated, the penalty is reduced and she is allowed to participate in detoxification meetings "

zabdiel did not understand what he felt at that moment, he was confused, disappointed, angry with you for not having told him and with himself for not having noticed it

"zabdiel" christopher started but had no time to say anything else because the boy had already disappeared directly to the prison where the girl was

"excuse me, it's quite urgent" zabdiel said to the old lady behind the glass of the prison, the woman looked up at the boy who must have looked really desperate

"tell me" the woman replied gently, which was strange for a prison

"I should see a person who is here"

"name of the prisoner and his please" she replied

"Y/n y/l/n and zabdiel de jesus"

"I'm sorry boy, miss y/n was very clear when she came here, she didn't want to receive visits from you but she left you this" the woman announced, handing a sheet of zabdiel from the crack of the glass, he took it and thanked the woman

he looked around before opening the yellowed sheet, the people in there seem accustomed, as if it were normal for them to be in a prison, he shook his head as he left the building

in front of it he found his four best friends, he smiled at them before approaching and opening the letter

"zabdiel, forgive me if this sheet is not one of the best but it's all they had here at the police station.

I'm sorry, maybe I should have told you, maybe we would have arranged things together, but I couldn't risk it

you would have been better without me, you'll be better without me

I would like you to know that I have never betrayed you, I would never have done it, I love you too much to do it

but I want you to go on with your life

live zabdiel, because you deserve a better life than I could ever have given you

you have your family and four other brothers ready to help you get up when and if you fall

te amo zabdiel de jesus

like I've never loved anyone in my life

I love you more than I ever loved myself and that's why I'm here now, with the handcuffs on my wrists and the tears that wet this sheet

if ever in a future we would have to meet again I will be happy to relive with you the best moments of our life together but for the moment live, live like you've never done until now

you are free

use your freedom the right way

te amo

yours forever, y/n"

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second part?

let me know

#second part? #cnco #cnco imagine #cnco preferences #cncowners #zabdiel de jesus #zabdiel de jesus imagine #christopher velez #erick brian colon #joel pimentel #richard camacho

[malexfan10]

Now that my anger has calmed down.....

We got a season 2 renewal!!!

I can't say how happy I am about that. To get the renewal so soon after that wreck of an episode last night means everything! If we had to wait a whole month.....

Trusting the writers to fix what they broke is a whole other thing after that finale. But it can go two ways.

Either they completely decide to screw everyone over and have M&M be endgame (if Michael says 'I never look away' to Maria I will be completely done with it all) or they will test the waters with M&M and when they decide they've had enough, break them up and have Michael go back to Alex. I'm thinking scenario 2.

Now how should this all play out? It sucks that we even got a triangle to begin with and the fact that Michael said 'I never look away' and then ended up looking away to Alex's best friend no less brings my anger back from last night. The fact that Alex was sitting there waiting and wondering, looking at his watch, sad and alone while M&M was happening is not a visual I will forgive the writers for anytime soon. To top that, this ending made Carina happy if it ended there? That still puzzles me. Seriously, lady?? BUT what's done is done. Can't change the past. We can only hope that season 2 is not a terrible shitstorm like last night was.

So how can this all play out? Will Alex be waiting in the sidelines, depressed and upset, watching his best friend and true love across town being happy? I hope not! If they have M&M explore a relationship for half the season or even the whole season, then Alex deserves to move on as well. Do I still want Malex to be endgame? You betcha! But both sides to that relationship deserve happiness, not just Michael. If they can't have it with each other right now because one side has decided his happiness lies elsewhere, then Alex deserves the same treatment.

The last thing I want is for Alex to take that rejection as a sign and shoot his walls back up. He has done amazingly in terms of growth this season and I need his character to keep growing. The boy deserves so much happiness! So does Michael after all he's been through but because he chose Maria and because I dislike the triangle and how those M&M feelings came out of nowhere, he's not my focus right now.

Should a new relationship for Alex be with Kyle? I love that dynamic and I don't want anything to mess with that. Plus, in terms of where they are with each other, there is still so much healing that needs to be done. These two were probably best friends as kids. I love Kyle a lot but you can't fix that friendship overnight. Little by little, they've been making wonderful progress so I want that friendship to flourish next season and an added complication of a relationship won't exactly help. If Malex were completely done, I'd be gutted but I would change my tune on Kylex. But for now, let Alex be with someone new.

All of this is if they keep M&M together for half or most of the season. If it's a one or two episode storyline, then I don't want Alex getting involved with anyone else. But they put the effort to push this triangle so unfortunately, it doesn't seem likely that they will abandon M&M that easily or anytime soon.

Michael and Alex have been through so much in 13 episodes, together and apart. It's why we love their characters and storyline as much as we do because we feel for them and our hearts hurt seeing them tortured. Michael was always searching for a family, for a sense of belonging and when he found his mother, she was taken away in the most cruel and tragic way. But all these people around him see him as family too. They care for him from one degree to another. He's been through a lot on the show but he still has such a huge capacity to love.

For Alex, he started as an abused, scared, gay teenager terrified from his father's actions into choosing a life he never wanted for himself. Did he end up enjoying the Air Force? I think he did because like he said, it felt good winning battles. But at what cost? He put his life and happiness on hold for 10 years and lost his leg in battle. He's the definition of pain and suffering on the show but despite it all, he has always maintained this incredible kindness in his heart that is unmatched.

Alex started the season closed off and unsure and the journey he went through was beautiful to see. He found his inner strength, he faced his demons (Jesse) and he started forgiving those who had hurt him by seeing who they are now (Kyle). He finally reached a place where he wasn't terrified to open his heart to love again. That scene with Michael last episode? That was so pivotal to his storyline. He showed Michael how important he was to him, not just through actions, but through words. Words that have been lacking between them for so much of their history. He was willing to stay and die with him. He wouldn't have been able to have that moment with Michael at the start of the season. Where he was and where he ended up showed the biggest growth from all the characters in my mind. It was easily my favorite personal story arc of the season. Sucks how that growth got spat on last night but it doesn't take away from who Alex is now.

Do I want to see Malex be separated? No, I love them wholeheartedly. I haven't been this invested in a TV couple in a long time probably since Pacey and Joey back in the day. Oh, just a side note - Carina mentioned how she wants Michael to be the Joey Potter of Roswell. Giant No Thank You to that idea. As much as I love DC and PJ, the way Joey ping-ponged between him and Dawson was just ridiculous, never knowing who she wanted until literally the final episode of season 6. That is not what I want to see for Malex. Hope she changes her mind on that idea quick.

But anyway, with Michael choosing his version of a happy ending last night, then Alex certainly deserves the same. I hate that Michael chose Maria. I hate that he knew he and Alex were going to talk but he blew him off and went straight to Maria anyway. I hate that they kissed. I hate that Maria acted on her feelings knowing what Michael means to Alex. I hate that neither thought about Alex in that moment. I hate that he played the guitar in front of her. But if we're going to be forced through more M&M, then let Alex try to move on too.

I want Malex together, of course I do! But if Malex is endgame, and I think that they are, the writers are definitely not making the road easy for them or us. In the meantime, while I fast forward through whatever M&M scenes we're going to be getting, let Alex have some pleasure too. I want them to explore his family more, his mother, his heritage. Just give that boy some love and happiness please!

I love both Vlamis and Tyler equally but it shows how inexperienced Vlamis was with TV fandom. Tyler was a lot more reserved with his interviews - he'd been through it with PLL Haleb vs Spaleb. He expressed how he felt about Malex but that wasn't all he touched on. Vlamis (Oh how I still love him) was all Malex, Malex, Malex for weeks and then the shift in his tone was so obvious. He spoke about M&M a lot more towards the end. The powers that be advised or urged him to do so because everyone knew how the season was ending. But I still love him and of course I love Tyler. The Vlamburn bromance is everything.

I just want to add that Tyler's tweet today really helped heal my heart a bit. He's such a sweetheart for reaching out to the fans and trying to assure us. Knowing we have a season 2, I choose to believe him.

Sorry for the long post. I still hate how it all went down last night, how Alex was left alone and pining while M&M got together. I hate how both Alex and Maria were nothing but props for Michael's storyline. The finale felt rushed and I could probably pick only three things that I liked from the whole episode. Kyle, Liz and Max hugging in the desert and Rosa. I didn't even like that Malex scene in the trailer or Michael telling Isobel he loves Alex because of where it all went.

But now that we have a season 2, we have to look forward. I want to see filming pics and behind-the-scenes when they start planning the season. Hoping that M&M won't be depicted as some grand romance next season because seriously, what the hell? I hope that Alex can continue to grow and his friendship with Kyle grows even stronger. In the end though, I want Malex. I wanted them last night and I want them in the first episode of next season. That's obviously not realistic anymore so all I can hope is that they don't make Alex a sad, lonely, heartbroken 3rd party while they explore M&M being together. Because if they do, this fandom will seriously riot! And no more giving sacred Malex moments to Maria either. Please stop doing that. And flesh Maria's character out more next season too. Away from Michael, preferably, but more than being the bad best friend who hooks up with her besties soulmate. Like, honestly, come on. Girl's got such great potential.

In the meantime, I will bury myself in writing fanfic to tame my anger at that crap ending until season 2 🙂

Vlamburn ❤

#malex #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #roswell nm spoilers #roswell alex and michael #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis #still annoyed #but i want to belive they can fix it

[raineangelikareyes]

OUTPUTS IN CREATIVE NON-FICTION

a narratives essay

It was Intramurals day and I’m with my friend and classmate Regine, we also went to a booth a lot so we were tired and hungry.

“Let’s go to horror booth!” Regine said

“Oh, please no. I’m tired and I’m really hungry. Let’s eat instead.” I replied

“You are just scared hahaha” Regine said while laughing at me.

We were both panting when we got there because she was so excited , we ran it until we got here.

“The tickets are on me, it’s my treat for today.” She said the excitement was very evident to her.

“Go, Make it fast, please hahaha” I joked her

“Yes, Ma’am!” she replied while saluting on me

I opened my Facebook and popped up the post that made me sad. It's a picture of my classmates who really want to be my friends but they don't want to because of my behavior. I don't know what's wrong with me, we're almost the same, the only difference is that I'm quieter with them. I stared at the picture for a long time, I couldn't help but feel envious because their smile was beautiful and they were obviously happy together. I'm happy that Regine is one my friend she's the type of friend who is there for me when I need a shoulder. Whenever I'm sad, she won't ask me why I'm sad instead she'll just laugh at me or sometimes she invites me to eat at McDo, we both like fries and sundae.

“Angelika! I here.” It was Regine

But I was surprised when I saw that she was upset.

“Ange, sorry but I think I can’t accompany you to go to horror booth my grandmother is in hospital right now and I need to be there on her side.”

“I understand. Go for now, your grandma’s life is more important than this. Take care and I’ll pray for your lola to be okay.” I held her hand because she is shaking and very worried.

“Thank you, I’ll call you later. Okay? Take care too.”

She still gave me the ticket and told me to continue going to the booth because it was a waste of the ticket. If I had the choice, I'd rather just go home to eat but I also don't want to waste the ticket that Regine bought.

While queuing, I saw my classmates who I would love to be friends with. They are lined up near the one in front of me. There is a part of me that I want to come and join them because I don't have anyone with me anymore but I'm afraid they might not want to be with me. I don't know but I just saw myself approaching their place, they immediately noticed the approach so they all looked at me. I haven't said anything yet but it's obvious on Joseph's face that he doesn't want me with him.

“Hi!” I smiled at Cherry, Jenny, Kim, Alyssandra, Joseph, Rocel, and Joy. I’m that they wondered why I was there. They didn't say anything but I felt that they were uncomfortable in my presence, they were talking but I couldn't keep up because I couldn't understand what they were talking about.

I removed the shame from my body and the courage and say, “You know, I really want to be friends with all of you.” they just looked

“Uhm, hello. But I think you should ask Jenny", Cherry said.

They just looked at their other friends who just shrugged at the same time. I hold back my tears because I think I’m shallow. I am hurt by the way they look at me; their eyes tell me they don’t want me to be their friend. I was so desperate to be friends with them that I asked them one by one if it was okay to be friends but all they always said was "Just ask Jenny or Cherry." I looked at her and asked why they didn’t want me to be their friend, the rest of them just nodded as Cherry and Joseph looked at me.

"It's not that we don't want you to be friends, we're just not really comfortable with you." That was the first time Cherry testified in front of me, and the words she left out were painful, very painful.

After that incident, I left the school immediately and the weather seemed to be with me because it suddenly got dark and the rain came, unfortunately I didn't have an umbrella. The rain poured out as well as my tears down to my cheeks. How many times have I asked myself what I have and they don’t want me to be their friend or what I lack why they don’t want me to be with them.

“Hey! What happen to you? You are soaking wet!” my sister immediately towards me when I got home.

I couldn't help but cry and tell her what had happened. She just listened while I was talking.

“We can't force everyone to like us, it doesn’t mean that you like them, they like you too. You don’t need to please anyone to like you because there is someone who will accept you for what or who you are.” She said and it really hits big time.

an autobiography

I am Raine Angelika M. Reyes, eighteen years of age, born on December 18, 2002 and currently residing in Barcelona 3, Buhay Na Tubig, City of Imus Cavite. I am now a graduating grade 12 senior high school student belongs to the strand of Humanities and Social Sciences (HUMSS). I am planning to take up the course of Bachelor of Science in Psychology in college. I become interested on this course because I noticed that here in our country; mental health doesn’t receive enough attention and haven’t been discussed extensively. Also those people who are now suffering mental disorders are deprived of proper care that they need to receive.

I was just an elementary Grade 2 student when our mother went abroad to work to sustain our financial and educational needs. That’s was the reason why we are now living in the same house with our grandmother. On the other hand, our father used to be a government employee and worked in Manila City Hall, he lived there together with his mother who’s also our grandmother too. During weekends and holidays, I used to go there together with my sister to visit the both of them, we cherished every moment that we spent together with them. But on April 9 year 2019, 8:00 PM in the evening, we got a sudden call that made us crumbled that time, my father’s auntie called to tell us that our father already passed away. He was diagnosed by having a stroke and had several attacks but unfortunately that time, our father couldn’t make it to survive. It was difficult for me to accept that fact but I stayed strong for myself and for my family. It didn’t make my life stop but instead I made it my inspiration to keep on fighting because that was my father’s dream for us to finish our studies and to be successful in life.

Aside from that, I like to take photographs, dancing, waching Korean dramas and movies and read fictional stories in Wattpad. In fact, because of my fondness on reading stories there, I and my sister started collecting books. One of those stories is written by one of the famous Filipino wattpad author named Maxine Lat also known as “Maxinejiji”. Her stories have great impact in my life and indeed a great source of moral lessons in life. She’s also one of my inspirations in life since the day that I got a chance to talked to her, she told me this “Kaya mo ‘yan. Lahat ng mga paghihirap mo ay may kapalit sa dulo.”

I also have a small business with my sister. Due to this pandemic that we are now experiencing, we strive to start a small business. We are creating keychains, and cat and dog tags made out of air-dry clay. Also, it becomes our bonding every time we create these stuffs for our clients. At my age, I can say that I went through so much in life. Family problem, financial struggle, school difficulties and many more but I know that I wouldn’t make it if weren’t from our Almighty God.

a biography

Raine Angelika Manuba Reyes or Gie to her family and Angelika to her friends is an eighteen year old lady, residing in her humble home in Imus City, Cavite together with her sister and grandmother; is a graduating senior high school student of Gen. Pantaleon Garcia Senior High School. She is aiming to be a Psychology student in Cavite State University -Imus Campus. Angelika has two lovely pet cats named Bingots and Niña whom she really loves more than herself sometimes. She loves dancing, so much. She's able to dance the steps of a certain song in a short period of time by just watching it repeatedly and without anyone leading her. She loves to read fictional stories on wattpad and her favorite author there is Maxine Lat also known as Maxinejiji. According to her, this author gave her alot of impact in her perspectives in life and now she's applying it on her own and sometimes share it to others who needs advice. She's also fond of watching Korean dramas and movies and in fact, this is one of her bonding with her sister. She has a small claying business named "Raine.na Creations" wherein she created different items using air-dry clay. She initiated this business with the support of her sister and is now known not only to her family and friends but also to those who chose to trust her creative works. Just like many of us, she also wants to have a successful and stable life. Although she's still on the process of reaching it, she's optimistic about it that one day she will fulfill her dreams and goals in this lifetime.

a reaction to a personal narrative

On the first part of Pamela’s personal narrative, I got confused on how she overthinks. On just a simple message for her, she thinks a lot of it like what is the meaning of that message and also it got her bothered on what will people think and look at her. But then I realized that I am not different from Pamela.

As Pamela’s classmate and friend, I want to know what the possibilities on why she thinks like that are. Why does she think and feel that she is hard to love because on the way on how she sees things and think about it. I think that there’s nothing wrong about that, where in fact there are good effects on overthinking because you will be able to come up on ideas on what will be possible to happen in your surroundings or what will be the results of the things happen and also the people around you.

I am not allowed to interfere and I am in no position to judge her base on how she thinks. Because that is the way she is; but still I just want her to know that it is not good for her mental health if she still continue to think that way. There are people who are just more sensitive or soft-hearted. A little amount of yelling to them is enough for them to cry. Saying words that are a bit hurtful for them will be able to make them offended. Words are indeed powerful. One insulting word can crush someone’s confidence that they built.

On my perspective, our worst enemy is ourselves because there’s no one you can blame but yourself when things gone wrong because of our decisions

On the part where Pamela always got suspicious when good things happen to her because she thinks that right after that short-term happiness, something terrible will happen next. Like Pamela, it stays on my mind that I shouldn’t be too much happy because sadness will come next. Sometimes, I am thinking that what if I am extremely sad is there anything that will make me happy will come right after?

There is always a hesitance to trust on people too much regardless of how good and strong your bond is. You don’t know what are the things he or she do when you’re not around. What he or she says to others about you behind your back. What if that person is planning on leaving you all alone and in the end of the day, you will be left behind. Again. This is what I perceive while reading Pamela’s narrative work

This is one of the reasons on why I want to become a Psychologist; I want to know why there are people who think on such way and once I learn it, I will find a way to extend a help for them. But how can I help other when I can’t even help myself? How can I give something I do not have?

I will just leave my realization here as my conclusion. People will treat you the way they feel about you. If they love you, you’ll feel it and if not, you will feel it even more.

a reflection essay

As a student, there are a lot of experiences happened to us inside the campus. These experiences give us happiness, joy, sadness, and even nervousness. How about you? What is your remarkable experience as a student?

Me as a student, here is my remarkable experience. It is when our principal told me that I am the top student in our class that time. I didn’t know how to react or what would be my reaction on what she said to me. I was stuck between the feeling of joy, shock and I even want to cry on that moment. But one thing I was sure of that time, I felt all of those emotions. It was a shocking news for me because since I finished my Nursery years, I never got to be on top of the class that’s why I got shocked like that since it was so unexpected for me. I admit that I am not the smarty type of student but I can say that by giving a lot of effort on my performance tasks and extracurricular activities, I was still able to get good grades. I felt like I was on cloud nine during that time and I was extremely excited to tell it to my grandmother and sister because for sure they will be both happy because of this.

I learned on that experience that you don’t need to be so extra smart to be considered as a good student. For me, you will just need to be extra determine and have perseverance because that is for your own dreams to become true. Before we get our success, we need to go through hardships, failures, and struggles because that is how we learn in life.

I can say that the effect of this experience to me is that I get more determined on my studies and I will give extra efforts to all the things that I do because it is best to feel your success if you know that you really worked hard for it.

a memoir

It was a typical night after we had our dinner, me, washing all the dishes, a sudden phone call broke in that made that night a no-typical that I thought on that time. That call brought a bad news, a nightmare; my father who had been a servant of the killer cardiac disease and been lied down a couple of days in the hospital bed, just left this Earth without leaving us any last talks, laugh and tears with him until his last breath. My world crumbled on that moment, leaving me broken inside with the pain, grieving in silent cries, tears fell down and dried up until morning. Just like the others, on that night, my first love just broke my heart, a heartbreak that will never be mended by anything but binded by acceptance.

a facial recognition

This is Raine Nicole. She sees herself a quite simple lady. She has a black wavy hair, the hair that she has a love-hate relationship with; not-so thick eyebrows with a pair of edgy and sharp-looking eyes as others told to her. These observant eyes that sees the unnoticeable things around her that nobody can ever notice. Her nose may not be the pointed one that many of us like but still it perfectly suits her face together with her pinkish lips, the lips that sealed almost every time even though she notices something around her. Her body is just enough to fit with her height, the body that she used to wished to be change once. She have a lot of flaws and imperfections physically just like the others and had been struggled to accept these insecurities but she learned and continuously learning to fully accept these flaws. And most importantly, she knows that she was perfectly and wonderfully created.

a travelogue

One of the unforgettable places that I went was the Oriental Mindoro, our province. It was my cousin’s eighteenth birthday that’s why we went there. We were so excited that time because aside from the fact that I rode again a ferry, I went also to beach and swim again to sea which I truly missed. From our journey, I took already a lot of photos of wonderful sceneries that we passed by; and of course we didn’t forget to take selfies. When we reached the port, we sat first and bought ourselves a cup noodles while waiting for our ferry. A couple of minutes had passed, chitchatting, laughing, eating, and taking good photos were took place until the ferry arrived.

When the time that we went inside the ship, we sat on our designated seats; while my sister and my other cousins were resting that time, my cousin Angela and I went to the deck to took some fresh air and also to see the crystal clear and blue sea. I feel so relaxed that time because I think that was my time to unwind again on the last 10 months of school year. We are both K-pop fan and that time we were so happy to know that we were the only persons there on that area that time so we took the opportunity to dance our favourite K-pop songs and when we got tired, we went back inside to rest until we reached our destination.

I woke up because of the continuous poking of my sister on my shoulder because finally, we reached our destination; the Calapan Port. So we got prepared for our boarding. My excitement got extreme that time when I learned that we will ride a small boat to go to Puerto Galera. I got a bit scared right after since the boat was shaking while we were riding on it. I was smiling while staring at the beautiful sea and different islands that we passed by. The peacefulness of the sea matching with the calmness of the fair weather that time made me so giddy. I got a huge relief when we finally reached Puerto Galera because that’s it, we were already there! The hotel staffs escorted us to our rooms and got changed immediately with our swim wears. We ran near the seashore, the water was a bit cold and I didn’t expect that. I laid my body, stared at the sky, only trees and calm sea with a nice weather were the things that gave me relaxation and peace that time.

When the night came, we went outside of the hotel for the dinner. We got really entertained because there were performers there to sing and dance for the tourists to entertain them. It was sleeping time but I couldn’t sleep yet because I was still remembering the breath-taking sceneries we went earlier that time. I suddenly mumbled to myself that I wished I was with my parents there so that they could also feel relaxed and enjoy this trip.

Until we went back here in Cavite, I still have those memories that I probably never forget because that place has a special part in my mind and heart. I will surely go back to Puerto Galera when the time and everything will be fine again.

a self-obituary

Hi there everyone, Angelika here. So as you all know, we are all passing in this world, we have our own timeline and deadlines and mine's today. I just left this crazy world during my peaceful sleep without me knowing this one will be go eternally. My family and friends knows me well that I really love dancing. This is one of the things that I really love and lived for. I know y'all now grieving because I know you all gonna miss me but please just move-on quickly on this inevitable stage of our lives and instead be happy and glad that you know I am here in this place wherein I can dance more freely and unceasingly, without getting tired and haggard, looking fresh all day while dancing in joy. I will always miss and love you all. Until we all meet again folks.