Me, listening to my “friends” talk about how they would beat me up if I were Bisexual:
Tony: Parker, they found one of the stolen paintings at her house.
Peter: But she says she didn’t know how it ended up there. She’s being set up.
Tony: Framed! Art joke. Continue.
Sophie: I would compromise but I refuse to not do my idea.
Ziggy, on the phone: Hey, remember when you told me not to burn down the base?
Summer, on the other end: You burned down the base?!
Ziggy: No, I had the fire put out almost immeadiately.
Ziggy: This is a success story.
Tara: Going to meetings, writing stuff down, you just love that nerd stuff.
Maddie: Writing things down is nerdy? What do you do?
Tara: I forget things, like a cool person.
Spot: You know I hate it when you make up words.
Race: Are you still mad at me for saying “snacksident?”
Spot: Yes. Very.
harry: i know you said you don’t want to date aurors, but i really like you.
draco: i like you too.
draco: but what if we start dating and it makes things weird at work?
harry: so we’ll just keep it light and breezy and see where it goes.
draco: totally. yeah. so how do we keep it light and breezy?
draco: oh, i know. a comprehensive set of rules.
harry: how am i attracted to you? doesn’t matter. i am. go.
Adora: We’re like Romeo and Juliet.
Catra: It didn’t work for Romeo and Juliet. That play ends in a double suicide.
Adora: That’s how it ends? Why do people like it so much?
[Needing to get rid of a hero’s motorcycle]
Metauro: Motorcycles are death machines. I have four kids. I’m not risking it.
Flug: Are you saying my life matters less because I don’t conform to society’s heteronormative child-centric ideals?
Metauro: Are you really playing the gay card right now?
Flug: *deadpans* Yas queen.*snaps*
Emmet: The key with cats is establishing the alpha.
Emmet: Unikitty, dwop it, pwease dwop it, I’ll give you anything you want,
Wyldstyle: Ah, Unikitty is the Alpha. Didn’t expect that.
Sarai: There is a bomb at this wedding as well.
Sarai: Your butt. Your butt is the bomb. There will be no survivors.
Harrow: I love you so much, you’re my dream girl.
Lapis: Letting me into your life was the worst mistake you’ve ever made.
Peridot: Cool. Interesting take on our relationship.
Amethyst: I think you guys are perfect for each other–
Peridot: *muttering* Feel like there’s gonna be more…
Amethyst: –because you’re both losers.
Peridot: And there it is.