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#source: modern family
incorrectquotesmcu · 3 days
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Sam: The hospital said I’m fine.
Scott: No, you suffered a traumatic experience.
Sam: I barely remember it. I remember crashing into the wall and the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Bucky: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.
Sam: Then what was that siren?
Bucky: That was Scott screaming.
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zootopiathingz · 20 hours
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Vaggie: if anything happened to Charlie, how could any of us live with ourselves?
Angel: we wouldn’t have to, ‘cause her dad would kill us.
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incorrectvikings · 2 days
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Hvitserk: I got an ice pack from the freezer!
Ivar: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Hvitserk: It was under a pie.
Ivar: So you ate your way to it?
Hvitserk: I made a judgement call. You weren’t there.
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batfamgalore · 1 month
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*They’re at a gala and Damian is self conscious because Bruce is giving a lot of attention to someone else’s baby and now Damian is trying to convince Jason that he’s better*
Jason: You’re right, you’re way cuter than a baby. I’m gonna go check on dinner.
*Walks away, turns to Dick who was watching the whole interaction*
Jason: Sometimes I like to just toss a grenade and run away.
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Bruce: I raised five perfectly functional children
Y/N: *tearing up* You have five other children we don’t know about?!
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marksandrec · 6 months
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Marks and Rec: Misc #2617
I'm waiting for the patch to download so here's some bloodweave flirting. (Dialogue from Modern Family.)
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incorrectbatfam · 11 months
Conversation
Jason: Okay, I’ll be back soon.
Jason: If Bruce calls, tell him I died but make sure you really sell it.
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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year
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Price, answering his phone: Hello?
141Sweetheart: Hey Cap! Just wanted to call and tell you that Ghost made it to the med bay.
141Sweetheart looking at Ghost:
Ghost, eyes closed and not moving:
141Sweetheart, crying: HE'S D E A D
Ghost: I WAS JUST RESTING MY EYES
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waterfire1848 · 1 year
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Clark: If something happened to the Batkids…I couldn’t live with myself.
Diana: Of course you wouldn’t have to because Bruce would kill you.
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golyadkin · 1 month
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you can trust them, they're super scientists
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thealtoduck · 3 months
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BatCat!Bro: In my neighbourhood there was a saying ”Love is just around the corner”…
Dick: *smiles warmly* That’s such a nice way to think i’ll keep that with me *Gets up and leaves*
Damian: *Looks at BatCat!Bro suspiciously* What’s the catch?
BatCat!Bro: I come from a neighbourhood with a lot of prostitutes…
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incorrectquotesmcu · 1 month
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Wanda: Y/N, I was wondering if we could have a little chat.
Y/N: You want me to go home.
Wanda: No. No, it’s the opposite of that.
Y/N: I want you to go home?
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bellabrady · 4 months
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Buck: *makes a self-deprecating joke*
Eddie: Damn, who hurt you?
Buck: Well-
Eddie: Just kidding, I know it was Margaret and Philip.
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zootopiathingz · 2 months
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Angel: date someone who looks sexy when disappointed.
Husk: *glares at him*
Angel: see?
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batfamgalore · 1 month
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Roy: Jason, I need you to do this. You’re sneakier than I am. You’re a bigger liar. You have no moral compass.
Jason: Look, thanks for all the compliments, but breaking into one stupid party? That’s not even a challenge.
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animationmovieshipps · 5 months
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Y/n: Harmony is going through a phase, at least, oh we hope it's a phase
Floyd: She bolts every chance she gets
*Floyd running after the baby*
Floyd: Harmony
*The baby runs to the other side*
Floyd: Harmony!
*The baby runs back to the first side*
Floyd: HARMONY!!!
Floyd: So we had no choice but to put her in a child safety tether
Y/N: It's a leash and we did have a choice
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