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bedazzlecunt · 4 months

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Saw your DNI on a post. What the hell is "hard kink"? like the kinks you post about here are hard kinks. It's about as descriptive as "blogs with kinks I don't like don't interact"

anon, i'm gonna try not to be an asshole be here because i want to believe that you're not just being aggressive and rude in my inbox for the sake of it, and because i know that when people get really angry at my DNI that almost always comes from a place of insecurity and i want to make space for that.

so, yes, functionally what i mean is "blogs for kinks that trigger me don't interact," which, if you've read my pinned, you know is not a short enough list that i can just slap it on every post i make. "hard kink," like "hard cnc" (which is the language i used to use on my DNI, which got me vagueblogged about and harassed) is an imperfect term that encompasses a lot of shit and is heavily up to interpretation. unfortunately, it's the best language i have. there is not a single word or phrase that covers all or even most tumblr niches dedicated to how hot the idea of rape/abuse/csa/snuff/transphobia/etc. is. the nature of the beast is that this shit is by definition going to be kind of haphazard, the same way that cnc can describe everything from "my partner gets handsy with my while i cook without asking first" to "a fantasy in which i kidnap, rape, and slowly murder someone." i've tried the whole "please read my pinned before interacting" schtick and it simply doesn't work, and i was forced to see r4pe-me-d4ddy-6 in my activity constantly, and i decided i'd rather use language that for sure keeps that sort of blog out of the running, even if it that means i occasionally push away blogs i'd be fine with.

the ideal situation would be for people who deal in hard kinks to understand that the language is imperfect, see my DNI and be like "oh, shit, i'm not sure if OP is comfortable with me reblogging or interacting, i'll check their pinned for more info/move on without interacting." if you have a better way to communicate my limits on my posts without putting god's longest disclaimer on every 2-line joke, i'm so serious when i say i'd love to hear it. i would love to be able to have boundaries that are so precise nobody is ever a dick to me about them again. unfortunately, at current, this is just the best language and the best method i have to keep kink tumblr safe and fun for me.

this all being said, if you experience someone's limits or boundaries, even imperfectly worded, as enough of an insult to inspire you to be rude in their inboxes i ask that you do some serious work to untangle your own insecurity and defensiveness around your kink. this, and the other ask you sent me, are so clearly a.) interacting with me and deliberately assuming bad faith/ill intent from me and b.) assigning your own baggage onto a total stranger from the internet. like, the normal response to seeing someone whose DNI annoys you is to move on or bitch in private with your friends or block me, not to show up in my inbox and call me a dumbass who doesn't know what i'm talking about. if you are in kink spaces and someone else expresses a boundary that's worded in a way you don't like or find inaccurate and you get this annoyed and angry, you are not a safe partner to play with. you need to be able to shrug your shoulders about this shit and move on.

i hope you have a good day and work through your stuff. if you message me in this tone again i will block you.

#Anonymous #wren speaking!#that being said i do appreciate that your other message pointed out that my language around SW is sort of unclear so o7

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haikyuuwaifu · 3 years

Text

Ch.3

Genre: Drama

Warnings: Swearing

MASTERLIST

UNBOTHERED QUEEN

-While Tooru and Iwaizumi are working through their [issues], he’s still a little pissed that Iwaizumi was going to sweep things under the rug. A*isa made sure to spam the guys chat to talk about how she was out of sorts because she saw Y/N and it just put her in a very bad headspace blah blah blah, and NO ONE in the chat w/o A*isa gives a fuck.

-Y/N is a regular. Everyone at the cafe knows her, Shirabu, and all her friends. They know her order by heart and always have it ready. They also reserve a space for her and Shirabu to study during exam season. Y/N is a great tipper and she’s always willing to help out. They adore her, so of course she’s going to cover something that will help move the line along. She really had no idea A*isa was in the cafe until she screeched, and proceeded to not give a shit. <3

-Shirabu arrived early, and the professor introduced him to Sakusa. Both men made small talk and by the time Y/N got there with 3 overly large cups of caffeine, it was determined that the trio would get along swimmingly.

Ch.2|Ch.4

@victory-is-here @fairybnha3 @its-the-aerieljeane@oppositesunchild @d4ddy-4@lilith412426@criesinpisces@fandomsgotmefucked@kamalymaly@erinoikawa@black-rose-29@loveinhaikyuu@prettyinblack231@sempiternal-amour @dabi-sunflower@rinsangel @daphnxy @meiatani @chantalkate16 @aurorahoneybuns @oikawasbuttcheeks @that-chick212 @bigmudbitch @kotarousbabyowl @black-rose-29@renhold-nightspear @nnmesis @prettyinblack231@loveinhaikyuu@lumpiang-toge @loubells @letmebreathepls @sunas-sweetheart @acethecardsblog @sxturn-stars

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