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The only math I was ever able to do is calculate the number of brain cells the Hargreeves have

  • It’s safe to say Luther was always a big fat 0
  • Diego has 1, and it’s barely staying alive
  • Alison had 1 and it died before the events of the show took place
  • Klaus actually had 5, but they died because of the drugs and alcohol
  • Five actually has 4, he used to have 7, but two died when he came in on the apocalypse and the other when he saw what his idiots of siblings have been doing and one is kept safe by Grace in case something happens to him
  • Ben had 2, one died with him, but the other remained acting as a replacement for Klaus’
  • Vanya had 2, but one died when Reginald locked her up the first time and the other is dead on the inside, so she’s left with 0.5
  • Grace keeps one safe as I mentioned

In conclusion, the Hargreeves have a total of 7.5 brain cells, which is more than I originally believed

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I just want the hargreeves siblings to love each other more. I need some sibling love, for Vanya too. Also I'd like Luther to apologize to Vanya and Vanya to apologize to Allison and maybe Diego can chill out a little on the violence front. Klaus is being his best self, Allison is, I mean shes surviving and Five...he's doing as well as we can hope for someone in his situation, ya feel? Hes making it.

The apocalypse certainly put a damper on family bonding time. I, too, want to see the sibling relationships strengthened!

Luther and Diego? So much potential there! Luther needs to stop using hugs as a way to render people unconscious and Diego needs to try throwing his feelings around more often than he throws his knives!

Vanya and Allison? I hope they have an opportunity to grow closer simply because they love each other instead of because the evil plans of some controlling, manipulative man (*cough* Reginald and Leonard) necessitate it.

Diego and Klaus? Both doing amazing and already making great strides in their relationship. It would be fantastic to see even more empathetic support going forward as they learn to cope with similar losses.

Ben and Diego? I think these two could sit down and have a nice long talk. Possible discussion topics: being on the giving/receiving end of physical violence, managing the desire for revenge, getting Klaus some driving lessons.

Luther and Vanya? Give them a shared hobby so they can actually spend time together! They were raised as polar opposites (Number One vs. “just ordinary”) and would benefit from nurturing a little compassion for one another.

Allison and Ben? No one can relate more to Allison right now than Ben. She’s re-learning how to communicate and Ben knows exactly what that’s like! Klaus needs to make Ben corporeal again so he can hug his sister.

Klaus and Luther? They can start with “sorry I tried to choke you into unconsciousness.” Luther needs a guide to the larger world. Klaus needs normal experiences that aren’t about his addiction. A perfect match!

Five and EVERYONE? After his post-apocalyptic decades with only a mannequin and the decaying corpses of his loved ones for company, I don’t even know what Five needs. Just to get used to not being alone.

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unpopular opinion! luther isnt the worst he was also abused just in a different way where he would rather blame himself and everyone around him than blame reginald. its p common for those w child abuse to realize what happened and he is just in denial! literally his dad who made himself his whole life just died give him a break

Your opinion is not unpopular with me, Anon! For anyone who still needs convincing, let’s talk a little bit about Luther Hargreeves.

A big issue we seem to take with Luther is his physical violence. Though I do not and will never excuse that, particularly towards Klaus and Vanya, he isn’t the only Hargreeves to assault his siblings.

We’ve singled Luther out for attack because he’s different from the others in the way that he responded to Reginald’s appalling “parenting.” Not every mistreated kid adapts by making a clean break from their abuser. The way that Reginald undervalued Luther (or occasionally valued him, but for the wrong reasons) made Luther more attached to him and more desperate for the approval and acknowledgement that we can easily imagine was pretty goddamn rare.

Who are we to say this method of coping is wrong or bad? Growing up in that house, with those pressures (hello, being Number One!), Luther became just as much of a survivalist as any of his siblings. He needed something to believe in, which makes sense to me when we see glimpses of everything those kids were put through; he needed a reason why. Luther doesn’t so much find that sense of purpose or focus for his devotion as have it forced upon him. Unfortunately, when he accepts it, it’s less the mark of distinction outsiders like Harold Jenkins believe it to be than a burden.

Still, Luther shoulders that burden and drags it all the way to the Moon, but even in space, he hasn’t gotten far enough beyond Reginald’s reach. I think Luther’s exhile to the Moon is a wonderful, though tragic, metaphor for the way he continues to orbit the tenets of his father. His world revolves around that man and―you are absolutely correct, Anon―Luther deserves a BREAK for feeling the things he feels when Reginald dies.

It overly simplistic to mock, pity, or judge Luther for his apparent loyalty to Reginald after his death. You think it’s a father that Luther’s feeling the loss of? He’s mourning himself, and with 30 years of baggage to dig through, it’s going to take some time.

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The Hargreeves Children

Seven Contrary Virtues Series

  • Luther Hargreeves: Abstinence


“I can’t believe how much time I wasted believing Dad, thinking that I could save the world (…) Allison Hargreeves, will you dance with me?” 1x06


Original Photo Source: Unknown

📸 Artist Edit: tua-kh-appreciation

PSA: As a Psychology Major, I personally condone Allison X Luther. But respect that they are only characters in a tv show at the end of the day 👍🏻


  • All definitions of respected virtues are in relation to the character it is describing. Other definitions are available and valid
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the umbrella academy as shit my friends have said


“I would like to give thanks to my right hand, it helped me through hard times and it always came through.”

“We don’t even know if he canonically has a dick.”

“You can’t run from your mistakes forever, I’m faster than you dad.”


“People like it when I use my mouth.”

“If you’re going to assert dominance can you do it outside.”

“What’s the word for eye fucking but like competitively?”


“I manipulate others into doing what I want by giving them a false sense of authority and superiority.”

“Pay child support you ginger thot.”

“You put the u in beautiful.”


“It’s now canonical that the dragon from Shrek eats ass.”

“Thots make the world go round.”

“Live by the aesthetic die by the aesthetic.”


“Your sins are many and your time is short.”

“He aged like a bottle of milk ngl.”

“God is punishing me for being an asshole.”


“Sometimes you’ve just got to Macarena through the anxiety.”

“I’m living my life through a cartoon duck.”

“Life is meaningless and goldfish have mouths.”


“Some actual human interaction does wonders for character development.”

“Glad to hear that the child abuse is mutual.”

“My stomach has performance anxiety.”

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Chapter Five: Regret

Summary: The remaining Academy members assess the damage of their home. A dying Pogo finally tells them the truth. Meanwhile, Yin attempts to help Eight master her powers and more.

Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Reader [Female Pronouns]

Word Count: 2,870

Warnings: Character death. Mention of blood, physical and mental abuse, and minor language.

“Pogo!” Allison screams. “Mom! Where are you mom!” Diego shouts, panicked. They all run into the rubble that remains of the Academy once they’ve realized Pogo and Grace were left behind. They desperately searched and screamed their names. “Guys, I found him!” Everyone hears Klaus shout. “He’s all… mangled…” He says horrified. Luther and Vanya are the first to walk up. “Pogo” Vanya whispers. Luther attempts to move the various pieces but Pogo only groans in pain. “You’re hurting him!” Allison comments. Pogo sighs and offers a tired smile. “I apologize everyone. This seems to be… the end for me” He begins. “Mom!” Diego cries. Her body was cracked and broken beyond repair. “But before I go, there are things you must know about… Eight” He says seriously. Once Diego hears this he wipes his tears, stands up, and joins the others. “What about Eight?” Five says interested. “Eight indeed has powers… but that’s not all”.

You have no idea where Yin has taken you. It’s somewhere far, deep in the woods. He teleported you both there. You wonder if you can also teleport. “Yin, what are we doing?” You ask. “This is where you’ll learn more about your powers and all that you can do”

“Eight… is like a bomb. Her powers are… catastrophic if she cannot control them. Your father made sure to keep her powers and her control over them in check.” Pogo explained.

“Just envision the location in your mind. In this instance, just right behind that tree” Yin said softly. He encouraged you to slow your breathing and concentrate. Your eyes were closed and for a second, your body felt as if it was floating in water and then it stopped. You opened your eyes to see you have teleported. A power you didn’t even know you had. “Amazing Yan- I mean… Eight! Soon you’ll realize just how powerful we really are.”

“Eight was the first child your father had found… and she was uncontrollable in the beginning… she would cry as a child constantly and just that alone destroyed our houses” Pogo coughed and breathed in slowly. “Don’t push yourself Pogo” Allison said. He waved his hand at her and continued, “Your father would punish her in an attempt to control her through fear. They were terrible, horrible beatings. The bruises never lasted too long…” Diego shut his eyes and shook his head. “…considering her healing power, but it scarred her forever. The first beatings… she screamed until she couldn’t speak anymore. After some time, she stopped. She stopped responding altogether” Pogo clenched his eyes shut. “But when the abuse proved to be of little use anymore… He prescribed her pills” Diego’s eyes were red and angry, his whole body pulsed with anger as the rest listened on in horror.

“Now try throwing it!” Yin shouted from away. You were slowly getting the hang of telekinesis when you easily picked up a tree. You threw it, much farther than from where it had grown. You couldn’t believe how much potential you had. “That’s my sister” Yin said to himself proudly.

“They were supposed to suppress her powers and yet she was still overbearingly strong. It became very clear that she could become a superhuman…” Pogo coughed up blood onto the rubble crushing him. “Your father… decided to make that possibility come true to use her as his own catalyst for the preservation of the world. He forced me to inject her with a serum that would enhance her abilities… and that’s when she escaped” Diego couldn’t take it anymore. “How the fuck could you do this Pogo?!” He jumped up and yelled down at the ape. “Forgive me, Mr…It was never my intention to…” Pogo gasps and chokes on his own blood. Diego paces angrily as the others shut their eyes and look away.

“Let’s call it a day, Eight” Yin suggested. You were so excited about these new powers that you didn’t realize how tired you were. Once you calmed all of the adrenaline you assessed the situation once more. “Oh no…” You whispered. You remembered the Academy. You sunk to your knees and remembered Diego’s horrified and angry face. “Eight? What’s wrong?” “I’ve made a mistake coming here… I need to be with my family” “I am your family, Eight. Your real family” You begin to shake your head when Yin keeps speaking. “He locked you up in the basement. He punished you” You can hear the faint whispers creep into your head, begging to be saved. “He broke you. Used you. Abused you” You can hear the screams again. “They never loved you Eight” You suddenly feel scared. You begin to hyperventilate and you wrap your arms around your head. “I’m your only family Eight! I love you more than anything!” Yin shouts. You can’t take it anymore and you black out.

“We have to find her!” Diego yells. “Listen, Diego as much as we all want to… we’ve got 11 people that are flying in expecting to see us and planning to save the world. It’s already late we need to get moving” It was true. It was getting dark out and they all needed a place to stay, at least until they figured everything else out. “Where would you even look? She could be anywhere” Vanya said and she was right. Diego huffed angrily and remembered your scared and sad face. The image of your tears were burned into his mind and he hated that he was the cause of it. Diego felt his entire body heat up in frustration, his blood boiling, and his heart aching. “We can’t exactly just leave her behind! It’s dangerous, what if she gets hurt!” “SHE’S dangerous Diego!” Luther shouts. “She can very well be the one who ends the world as we know it. We can’t risk tipping her over the edge” They all stayed quiet. “Do what you want. But I’M going to find her. With or without you.” And that was Diego’s final remark before he ran off in an attempt to find you.

You rouse from your sleep to see Yin standing over you with a cup of warm tea. The blackout had given you a major headache and you can barely sit up. “Tired? It’s late… about 11pm. You should go to sleep” Yin commented. You gazed at his face hazily and thought about how similar you two actually looked but also how different. His eyes were a beautiful blue in contrast to your deep dark brown eyes. His white hair diametrically opposite to your jet black hair. Not to mention his smooth, pale skin compared to your soft, tanned skin. You were like opposites but you both completed each other. You take a small sip from the tea cup and sighed. You blocked out all noise as you drifted off back to sleep.

Diego rushes to your apartment and is not surprised at all to see you missing. It’s already dark out but he can’t bring himself to leave. He walks into your bedroom and sighs. He lies down on your bed and curls up in the darkness like a lost and scared child. “Eight… please be okay” He thought. He couldn’t stand to hear about your abuse. Especially because he had no idea that it was happening. He felt foolish for treating you as if you didn’t belong there. He felt responsible. Diego starts to sob silently.

You’re dreaming. About Diego. You’re together in an apartment that accommodates the both of you. You have small potted plants at every corner and there’s a light buzz of music in the background as you two make breakfast together in the early morning. Diego looks at you and says, “Please come back”. You look at him puzzled. “But I’m right here?” “Please, Eight, please come back. I’ll do anything just please don’t leave” You feel your chest tighten and your breath is caught in your throat. You start crying. And then you wake up, fast and sweaty. It’s pitch black but you can see as clear as day, another power you weren’t aware of. You can hear a faint whisper in your head. You know it’s Diego’s voice.

“Please, Eight, please come back. I’ll do anything just please… don’t leave” Diego wished and thought very hard about you. He blamed himself for pushing you away.

“I’m sorry Diego” You thought sadly. “Eight?” You hear Diego’s voice in your head. He couldn’t possibly have heard you… could he? You couldn’t contain how happy you were to hear his voice. “Diego?” You ask telepathically. “Eight? Hello?” “Diego it’s Eight”. “How can I hear you?!”. “It’s one of my powers”. “Oh… right. Listen Eight I’m s–“. “Diego, stop. I apologize. I’m sorry I lied to you and I’m sorry that I pushed you away”. “Eight I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to treat you that way” Diego sat up and was getting a little too impatient. He needed to see you now. He sat up on your bed in the dark and just listened to your voice. “But… why didn’t you tell me about the abuse…” He said seriously and sadly. “Diego, how could I? It wasn’t your fault and… I didn’t want to get you all involved. Imagine what he would’ve done to us!” You retort. “Eight! Where are you anyways!” He asked nervously. “I’m in the woods somewhere…”. ”What woods!” He asked loudly. “Don’t get so worked up, I’ll have to figure it out” You say reasonably but you yourself cannot contain your happiness. You feel so overjoyed to hear Diego’s voice again. You feel calm and your heart is full. You love Diego. You can’t keep denying it. But you’re still fearful of the future. You’ll tell him soon enough, you decide. Instead you tell him, “Diego… I need to see you”. “I need to see you… I  need you” He responded desperately. You decide to reconvene tomorrow with more information from each other and head back to bed.

All throughout the rest of the night you awake to screams and crying, shouts of hopelessness from the dead and the living. When you’re finally able to fall asleep… it’s because of Diego. Just the thought of him calmed your soul so much so that no other unrest could stir it.

You wake up and it’s finally light out. You didn’t know how much longer you could take waking up from those nightmares. You try to observe a little more closely today to see if you can figure out where you are. You crawl out of a king sized bed and look around for a bathroom when Yin appears in front of you. “Bathrooms down that way, two doors down to the right” He said smiling.

After you finish in the bathroom, which already seemed to have everything you and Yin needed, you looked outside and tried to gauge how far off you were from the Academy. It couldn’t have been too far considering it was still dark when Yin had taken you. Unless he teleported but then again you still don’t understand the full lengths of either of your powers.

You remember your pills. And that you don’t have them. You take deep breaths and try to calm down when Yin comes to your side. “What’s wrong?” He asks concerned. “I just… I don’t have my pills…my pills for my anxiety…” You say a little out of breath. “It’s fine Eight… now you won’t have anything holding you back” For some reason instead of

Diego jumps awake in cold sweat. He looks around and realizes he’s in Allison’s house; it’s where they eventually decided to stay considering how large it was. It paid to have a famous sibling. His first thought, though, is of you. After washing his face and brushing his teeth, he sits at the kitchen table with a large map. It highlights every park and woodland area within the area. He stays up all morning trying to figure out where you are and what the best course of action he could take is. “Diego?” Five calls out. He sees Diego pacing relentlessly with a frustrated look. Diego ignores him and continues to pace. “Diego, what the hell are you doing? This early in the morning…” He asks again walking over to get himself a cup of coffee. Diego looks at Five desperately. “I need to find Eight, Five. I can’t wait around” He says determined. Five sighs and sits down by the large map. He thinks about the siblings who are supposed to arrive today. He takes another deep sigh. “Diego, we can’t just throw all of this away for Eight” As much as Five would like to help, it wouldn’t help anyone if the world ended in six days.

“I know, that’s why I’m going alone” Diego says. “Are you out of your mind? Did you hear anything Pogo was saying? She’s dangerous and if her twin is anything like her, they could kill us” “Eight wouldn’t do that and you fucking know it–“ “Oh yeah, Diego? Look at what she did to the Academy!” “She was scared!” “Then stop scaring her! Just leave it and her alone” Five was exhausted and overwhelmed, why couldn’t Diego just listen to him? “I’m sorry. I can’t do that” Diego goes back to marking up the map, planning out where he would head to first. Some time went by with Diego grunting and marking the map and Five looking fed up. “You can’t go find her alone, stupid” Five commented. Diego grunts. “… I’ll go with you” Diego’s head turns so fast he thinks it might break. “What?” He asked. Five rolled his eyes, “I said I’ll go with you. To find Eight.” Diego’s expression lights up immediately and then turns serious. “We need to find her before anything bad happens to her. Wait!” Diego jumps up and begins to concentrate and think about Eight very hard. “Please, Eight. We need to know where you are”

While sitting down eating breakfast with Yin, you hear a faint whisper. You tune in and try to concentrate when you hear, “… need to know where you are” It’s Diego! “Diego! You’re awake!” You exclaim in your mind happily. You start fidgeting in your seat, hoping to hear more. Yin catches wind of your restlessness and places his hand over yours. “Are you alright, Eight?” He says softly. “I miss you” You audibly say. “I miss you more” Diego responds but Yin leans closer to you. “You what?” He asked. “Nothing… besides, where are we anyways Yin?” You ask hesitantly, hoping for an answer. “Oh, well we’re in the woods silly” He said vaguely. “Right… but where? What woods?” You push. You need to know where you are so you can tell Diego. So you can be together again. “We’re in the Little Redbud Woods” He finally answered. You wasted no time at all and communicated to Diego your whereabouts. “We’re in a kind of small cabin” You tell Diego. “I can’t wait to see you…” “Just wait for me Eight, We’re coming” And with that his voice faded from your mind. Yin, who was sat next to you, looked less than impressed.

“What’s wrong Yin?” “Eight, how could you do this?” “Do what?”. Then it hits you. Yin can also read your thoughts. Your mouth falls open in shock as you try to explain. “They’re looking for me! They– they want to talk about what happened… they don’t hate me Yin!” The fable is thrown and the floor trembles. Yin is standing with an unreadable expression on his face. He looks at you with tears in his eyes. “I’m your only family Eight! Why do you need anyone else but me!” He shouts. You step back in fear.

“We have to go now! We know where she is!” Diego shouts urgently. He and Five rise up and move out of the house, while everyone is still quietly sleeping. “Give me your hand” Five says flatly. “What? Why?” Diego asks. Five wastes no time and grabs Diego and jumps through space to the entrance of the Little Redbud Woods. “Nice” Was all Diego said as they both walked in.

“I’m all you need Eight! No one else! You can’t leave me! I’m your only family!” Yin shouted and with each cry you felt yourself become consumed with the screams once more. You huddled down in a corner and wished for Diego to get here soon.

“Diego! Your hand, it’ll faster this way” Five started and jumped through space again at a small cabin. They can hear screaming and shouts from outside and Diego breaks through the door.

“Eight!” You lift your head to see Diego there, in the flesh. And Five following close behind. Yin turns angrily but not before Diego throws a knife, straight for his eye. Yin’s beautiful blue eye is struck right out of its socket and onto the floor.

“It’s… him…” Five runs to grasp the eye from the floor while simultaneously retrieving the eye from his pocket. They’re the same rich blue color.

“It was never Eight… Yin is the one who ends the world”.

Tag List: @baebeepeach, @i-run-on-green-tea , @mayansthings , @wnygirl2012 , @psychoredpanda , @fanficscuziranout , @bucky-blogs

Thanks so much for sticking around and reading this series! It means the world to me and I’m glad that all of you were able to find something to enjoy! Also, my requests are open if you’d like to ask for anything! See you in the next chapter!

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The Eternal Spaceman

Chapter one:

Sign here for Forced and Permanent


An ad in the news paper. It asked for recruits to go to space. Interesting …

I walked in the shabby old shop, and bought a paper. Might as well, right? I got nothing else to do.

Plus, they were asking for my family blood line. As we were more … Resilient, than others.

So, I wrote my qualifications. Anything that might want to know, and packed up to leave. But thought better and stopped by the library to make a copy of my document. Just in case.

A week later, I got a phone call. They were interested! Excited, I left with just the clothes on my back and whatever happened to already be on my person.

They put me in a plain room with concrete walls and a single metal table In-between me and the lab coats.

They whispered back and forth.

“I don’t know that their the one for the job.”

“We could freeze them? Put them in a cryogenic state?”

“They did say that would work.”

“So many problems …”

I cleared my throat and they all turned to look at me. From across this little metal table. Scared of a little kid.

“I, would rather not be frozen. If that is alright.”

More whispers as they turned away. Their white coats ruffling with their exaggerated gestures.

“How much food!”

“How much water!”

“How much money?”

I, once again, cleared my throat. This time, only a handful turned to face me.

I rolled my eyes and took out a folded piece of paper with many tiny words filling it from front to back.

“I don’t actually need to eat. At least, not that much.”

They looked at me. Some confused, some concerned, but most looked intrigued.


“That certainly solves one problem”

“But how many more are there till we are a go?”

I sighed and slouched in my cold metal seat. This was going to take a while. A long while.

After a few more hours of chatter, I’ll admit, I fell asleep. But who can blame me! They were barely taking anything I said seriously. And I was pretty sleep deprived.

So when I woke up, and the room was void of the lab coats, I was confused. I blinked, and registered the fact that I was also in a different room. One with a bed. And a door. It was small.

I got up and was immediately thwarted by my own legs. (Betrayal!) I don’t think they had fallen asleep, but then again I wasn’t sure they hadn’t.

So, with a shrug, I leaned against a wall and waited. Content to wait for people to come back and check on me.

It took longer than expected.

After about two days, give or take, I knew something was up. Maybe they read the letter? And got scared? No, that can’t be it. Nothing in that letter pointed to me being a danger.

Then what? Right as I tried thinking of an answer, the door creaked open and- tada!- a person stepped through!

I stood up, hoping my legs would work (they did), and walked over to greet them.

“Hello! Welcome the the white room!

Who are you and why am I here?”

Startled, they jumped back. Clearly they were not expecting me to be awake.

Still determined to make a friend, I continued talking, “my name’s Alec Thystlesprouts! What’s your name?”

Still nothing, so I pushed further, “okey, don’t wanna share? That’s fine! I can just keep chatting! If you hadn’t noticed, I’m quite good at that.”


I perked up, finally! A response!!

“M-my name is Wyatt Mak. It- It’s a pleasure.”

He hesitantly stretched his arm out towards me. Ecstatic, I took it in both of my hands and shook with vigor.

“Wyatt Mak! Ok! I’ll make sure I remember that! Wow, it feels like ages since I saw some one!”

He gave me an unsteady smile, slowly but surely warming up to me.

I smiled bigger, pleased, “so! How long was I asleep?”

In seconds his “I wasn’t sure about you, but you seem alright-ish” smile evaporated into a not-smile of “oh no. Oh no. This is a very oh no, a very bad. What do I do? Freeze.”

“U-uh. Uhm. I-I don’t know if- uh.”

I kept smiling, hiding the painful knowledge that-right before I asked- I knew that he knew that I maybe didn’t know that he knew that I was asleep for a probably longer than average time.

Eventually, he shook it off, “jus- just follow me.”

So I did.

I followed him left and right, up and down. Through winding hallways, all the way to a medical room.

He turned around, visibly calmer, “ok. We’re here.”

I took a peek over his shoulder, “a … Medical room?”

He smiled, flashing some teeth, “yup!”

With a hearty flourish he marched into the room and patted the observation bed.

Taking the hint, I walked over and laid down. Not at all pleased with this. I had a thing with doctors. Because doctors usually equals poking and prodding with sharp things.

“Alright!” Wyatt turned back to me after fiddling with something just out of my sight, “time for an examination!”

“Uh,” now it was my turn to be uncomfortable, “does this mean stabby stab items?”

Wyatt’s eyes widened a bit, “what? No! This is just a surface examination! Maybe an X-ray. But no knives. We just need some pictures of your anatomy, gotta test the movement range of your arms, legs, torso, etc.”

I gave him a small smile, “well, alright!”

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