#spent more time deciding what shots to use than i did actually making the gifs

[jpmarvel90]

The Healer

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Word Count: 3588

Relationship: Natasha x Reader (but not really)

Summary: Y/n was a prisoner of Hydra where she was experimented on to give her the powers to heal. She was then forced to use those powers to heal any person Hydra sent her way. That was until the Avengers stormed the base she was held at. Surely her life would only get better from here....right?

Y/n's POV:

You'd think being an Avenger is a dream. Maybe for the others it is. But for me it's a nightmare. For the majority of my adult life, I had been held captive by Hydra. In that time, I was tortured and tested on. So much so that I now have the ability to heal people. I would dream for the day that I might escape and be able to use my powers for good, rather than healing those causing pain and destruction.

Then one day, the Avengers came and stormed the base I was being held in. Because of my powers, I was being forced to heal the wounded and when Tony Stark came across me, he assumed I was one of them. He knocked me out and I woke up in a new cell. Granted this one was slightly more comfortable.

Three months I spent in there, only being let out if it was to heal one of the team if they were hurt. I had tried to explain to them that I have never and will never support Hydra, but they wouldn't listen to me. I gave up in the end, realising that they would never listen or believe me. After some time had passed, Fury decided that I would become part of the Avengers or be sent straight to the raft. I obviously decided the former and soon was allowed out of my cell and into a room of my own. Not that I was ever permitted to leave the compound, except for missions.

I had hoped that over time, maybe I could earn the team's trust. That I could prove to them who I really am and maybe even make some friends. But I couldn't have been more wrong. None of them cared for me. I wasn't welcome at team meals. I was to eat on my own. So, you can imagine that I was never allowed to team building events or parties.

I was simply a healer to them. And an evil one at that. I was used to go on endless missions and heal anyone who was injured. From small cuts to stab and gun shot wounds. They had no care for the impact that it was having on my body. Each time I heal, it drains me. The more severe the injury, the long it would take for me to recover. But to the team, it was a price I had to pay for my sins.

I wasn't just sent on Avenger missions either. Any important Shield ones, I would be made to tag along. There were times I struggled to see the difference to Hydra. I was being used in exactly the same way but here, I had a more comfortable room. But I was still a prisoner, being used for powers I never asked for.

It didn't take me long to realise that I would never be able to show the team that I'm no threat and was taken against my will. Not even Wanda, who did actually volunteer to work with Hydra, gave me the time of day.

I would hear the snide comments and questioning of my worth. Then Steve would speak up and talk about how valuable I was. But not because of me as person, but because of my powers. If they could take my powers from me and give them to someone else, I know they would do it in a heartbeat and I would be locked away for life on the Raft.

I started to train myself to help with trying to keep my mental health in check. Some days it was hard to get out of bed. I'm ashamed that I have considered ending everything. Maybe I wasn't meant for this world. But then I would snap out of it and know that I have to fight. So, I taught myself how to. I wasn't too bad, and Steve found me one day and sparred with me. He was impressed and told me that I would be able to support in more than just a healing capacity. It didn't change his view of me as a person though.

So that's what happened. I was expected to fight alongside them, as well as heal them. Although my stamina increased overtime, I still couldn't control the impact on my body when healing someone. But once again. The team didn't care when I would practically crawl back onto the QuinJet. In fact, I'm sure they would leave me behind if they weren't so desperate for my healing abilities.

Today, we're heading out on a big mission. They have found one of the main Hydra bases. Our job is to go in, get intel and blow the place up. Natasha and Wanda will be going in and getting any information they need. Steve will plant the bombs, whilst the rest of us keep the Hydra agents busy.

There weren't too many injuries that I had to heal. Barton took a knife to the stomach, but it missed any vital organs, so wasn't too bad to heal, whilst Sam broke his arm when his wingsuit was taken out and he fell to the ground. It meant my energy was up and I was able to focus on fighting and making sure I did my job to the best of my ability.

As the fighting grew more intense, my comms crackled and I heard a shaky voice coming through. "Y/n. We need support in the comms room. Nat's been hit. I-it's bad." Wanda calls out.

Nat's POV:

This mission was going to be a huge success if we could take this base out. It was one of Hydra's 4 main bases. It would significantly affect their ability to carry out attacks on the scale they have been doing so.

Wanda and I were able to get inside relatively easily with the others fighting out the front. Wanda used her powers to deal with any agents we came across and protected me whilst I started to download as much information as I could. I then started looking through the rows of filing cabinets, hoping to find something useful. Whilst flicking through one of the draws, I see a picture of someone I recognise.

It's Y/n, though she looks far younger. Maybe 18. Intrigued, I start flicking through the file, but soon regret it when I read her history. My hand flies to my mouth and I gasp as I see the evidence that proved what Y/n had told us was true. She truly was a prisoner. Captured when she was 19 and held captive for 7 years. She wasn't born with her powers but was instead tested upon. My whole body fills with regret and I feel like I could be sick. We have treated her like the enemy for so long when she was the victim.

"What is it?" Wanda asks me as she appears by my side. "We were wrong about Y/n." I state, handing her the file, before running my hands through my hair. "Oh my God. She was telling the truth." She gasps herself at the realisation. "How could we treat her so badly. We basically have held her prisoner and forced her to heal us. It's no different to what Hydra were doing to her." I exclaim, anger building within me at how we treated someone who just needed our help.

"We can fix this. When this mission is over, we'll show this to the team, and we'll work to make this right." Wanda suggests. "Assuming she could ever forgive us." I mumble, knowing we have done far too much damage for her to easily accept our apology.

My guard is down as my mind races over all the horrible things I've said, that we've all said. I don't see the guards coming in the room behind us. Both Wanda and I are too late to react before two gun shots go off. I feel the burning instantly in my chest and stomach as my mouth starts to fill with blood. "NAT!" Wanda calls out, rushing in my direction. Not before using a blast of her red magic to end the agent that had managed to hit me.

My legs start to wobble, and I fall to the floor in a heap, my hands trying to stop the bleeding. Wanda drops to her knees and presses her hands down firmly on my wounds to help in the task, but it's all in vain as her own hands are soon painted in red. "We need Y/n." Wanda mumbles before activating her comms. Her eyes never leave me as they fill with tears. I know it's bad. I'm going to die if Y/n doesn't get here in time. "Y/n. We need support in the comms room. Nat's been hit. I-it's bad." Wanda calls out for our teammate. The one that we have failed so badly.

We're amazed at how quickly she gets here, she's out of breath as she drops to the floor besides me. I can feel my life slowly seeping away. "It's ok Agent Romanoff, I've got you." She smiles at me. I can never understand how she is so kind in these moments. She's soft and caring as she heals you. Then once it's done, we treat her like the enemy we thought she was.

"You guys need to get out of there. The bombs have been set and are due to detonate in a couple of minutes." Steve informs us and I see panic form in Wanda's eyes. "Go Miss Maximoff. I've got this." Y/n tells the witch. She's reluctant to leave as Y/n places her hands over my stomach to start healing. "GO! I promise that Agent Romanoff will be safe." She shouts, taking Wanda by surprise. Reluctantly, Wanda gets to her feet and walks backwards slowly. "I'll see you at the jet." She says, before running back through the building to safety.

I look to Y/n who is focusing on the job at hand. I can feel the warmth as my body starts to heal. Though with each passing second, I see Y/n's face become paler. Her eyes struggle to stay open and it's then I realise the real impact of healing someone does to her. Especially when they are so close to death. We've tortured her ourselves as we've forced her to heal us.

Her body suddenly crumples to the floor, and I look down to see my wounds completely healed, not even a scar. "Y/n, wake up. Stay with me." I say, moving to her side, tapping her face gently to get her to wake. Her eyes flutter open and I smile at her. "Thank you." I say, though my heart breaks at the affect my words have on her. I don't think we've ever thanked her for saving our lives. She's done it on numerous occasions.

"You both need to get out now. The bombs are due to detonate any second now." Steve yells down the comms. "Go." She indicates to me, but I shake my head. "Not without you." I tell her, wrapping my arm around her trying to lift her. She's a dead weight but I know I can carry her out. "Stop." She says firmly. "We won't make it if you try and get me out." She says with a look of acceptance on her face. "No, I won't leave you behind." I reiterate, but she uses what little strength she has to push me off her. "It was only a matter of time until I was no longer useful to you all. Go and save yourself." She snaps at me, and I realise that she thinks the only reason I'm saving her is because of her powers.

"No Y/n. I know the truth now. You deserve a happy life. One where you chose your destiny. I won't let you die here in this hell hole." I tell her firmly. "Mr Stark, are you able to come and get Agent Romanoff?" Y/n asks through the comms. "We're both getting out of here. Do you hear me?" I shout just as Tony confirms he's a minute out.

We feel the ground shake as the first bomb goes off, it's only a matter of time until they reach us. "Maybe my death will purge me of my sins." Y/n says through laboured breath. "No, you have nothing to atone for. We do. For how we've treated you. I'm so sorry Y/n. We never should have done what we did to you. It's unforgivable." I try to apologise to her, cupping her face.

Before I can say anything more, Tony blasts through a wall and grabs me in his arms. "Time to go Romanoff." He says but I fight to get out of his arms. "NO! Not without Y/n." I try to get back to the stricken girl on the floor. She can't die. Not like this. "We're going Romanoff. It's fitting that she should die in the place she called home." Tony snarls, making the anger boil within me as he runs out the hole in the wall he had just created.

Even with all my strength I can't get out of his grip, and I give in as he flies away. I watch the building below me getting smaller as we get further away. Just as we're out of danger I watch in horror as the building explodes. "NO!" I scream knowing that Y/n is in there. Tony lands and places me on the floor and is shocked when I start pushing him. "You left her there to die! You asshole!" I scream at him, my anger boiling over as the others come to see what the commotion is. "It was you or her Romanoff and that wasn't even a choice." Tony growls back at me.

"She was innocent!" I yell, taking them all by surprise. "She was telling the truth. She was never working for Hydra by choice. She was a prisoner who spent the majority of her time there being tortured. She would have thought she was free when we saved her, but instead we made her a prisoner of our own, using her for her powers." I rant angrily, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Come on Romanoff, she got to you. Just because she healed you doesn't mean you have to believe her." He argues back. "She's right. Y/n was telling us the truth. We've treated her like the enemy when really, she was the victim." Wanda backs me up. At our revelation, I watch as the others come to terms with what we've done. Steve's head drops as he pulls off his mask. Sam holds the arm the Y/n had not long ago healed whilst Clint looked like he had seen a ghost.

"How do we even know this is true. It could still all be some elaborate plan." Tony tries to dismiss the truth. I reach into my pocket where I had put her file and slammed it into his chest. "Read this and tell me you still feel the same." I spit at him. "We're meant to be the world's mightiest heroes. But how would people react when they hear how we treated a helpless prisoner." I fume, embarrassed by our actions.

I turn away from my team and look to the mountain of rubble in front of me. Maybe she's still alive. Maybe I can find her. With determination in my step and tears stinging my eyes, I start walking towards the rubble. "Where are you going?" Wanda calls after me. "To find her. Hopefully alive, but if not, she deserves a funeral. One showing the real hero she is." I shout back over my shoulder, my eyes locking on to the rough area she would have been.

I start moving the rubble with my bare hands, calling out for Y/n periodically. I'm praying that she responds to me, that she calls out and we're able to save her. Whilst I'm moving the rubble, I see a whisp of red, helping to move it out of the way. I look up to see Wanda, giving me a tight-lipped smile. "She's our teammate. We do this together." She tells me. Soon after the others join us, working to move as much as we can in the hopes of finding Y/n alive.

"Can you feel her at all?" I ask Wanda when we're no closer to finding her. She doesn't respond. She doesn't have to. The pain and regret in her eyes give me the answer I didn't want.

As time goes on, my hope starts to dwindle. She can't die like this. The last words said to her were out of such malice. She needs to know how much we appreciate her, how sorry we are and how much we want to make this up to her. I can see the hope fading for everyone, but we refuse to stop. Even when Fury sends Maria to get us back home. She's soon to join us, her own guilt building.

When I move a large bit of wood, I see a familiar tattoo. 98-321. Y/n has that tattoo. "OVER HERE!" I shout out to the others who are quick to head in my direction as I quickly work to remove the rubble on top of her, ignoring the blood and bruises forming on my hands. I manage to get her free and pull her into my lap whilst the others gather around. "Y/n? Y/n? Can you hear me? It's Natasha." I say to her, tapping her face. But unlike earlier, she doesn't wake.

With shaky hands, I move my two fingers towards her neck and press against her pulse point. I close my eyes tightly hoping to find any signs of life. Though if I really took in her body, I would have seen it would have been an impossible ask. "No." I whisper when I feel nothing.

I hold her close, her skin feeling cold against my touch. "I'm so sorry. Please come back to us. I'm sorry." I start to cry as I hold her limp body in my arms. I rest my head against her chest where her heart no longer beats. I don't care about the blood and dusty that is starting to cover my body. I just want to hold her, in the hopes that, by some miracle, she may understand how sorry we truly are.

"You were a hero Y/n and we didn't treat you like one. We let you suffer when you needed help more than anyone. I wish we could have saved you. Given you the life you deserved. I can only promise that we will never allow this to happen again. Believe me when I say you were seen, and your input to this team was invaluable. You have saved all our lives in some capacity or another. I'm sorry we couldn't do the same for you." I apologise to her through my tears.

A hand on my shoulder brings me back to the devastation around us. "We should go." Steve tells me, with a sad look on his face. He bends down and carefully takes Y/n in his arms. "Be careful with her!" I warn him and he nods. "We will treat her with the utmost respect. As late as that may well be now." He reassures me.

Wanda helps me to my feet, and we follow behind Steve as we make our way back to the QuinJet. The whole team is in shock. I watch as Steve lays Y/n on one of the medical beds and gently places a blanket over her. I quickly move to the seat next to her and hold her hand. I hate the idea of her being alone in this moment.

The journey back is silent as we mourn the loss of a teammate and the embarrassment and guilt settles. When we arrive at the compound a team is waiting to take Y/n's body away and I'm reluctant to allow it. I'm alive because of her. Yet she is dead because of me.

The next few days are dark. Wanda and I plan a service that Y/n deserves. We were able to trace some family. Her sister, Sam, talked of how Y/n was taken one night, and the police were never able to find her. They had assumed she was dead. She had asked why she didn't try and find her once she had managed to escape, and I had to admit that she wasn't permitted to. It's safe to say Sam wasn't too happy when she heard about how we treated her sister.

Despite that, she attended the service for her little sister. She held a lot of pain. I guess finding out that Y/n was alive all the way along only to learn she died like she did much have been hard.

The service was perfect, and the majority of Shield turned up for it. Word had gotten around about the truth and there was a great shame felt by many. None more so than me. I'm a spy, I pride myself on being able to see what others don't. But for some reason I was blinded to this. I could have saved her. She died because of me. It's something I'll never be able to forgive myself for. But I know, that I will never let anyone else be treated the same. I will also never allow anyone to forget that Y/n Y/l/n was the true hero of the Avengers.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #romanoff #avengers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #avengers #marvel #natasha romanoff x y/n

[poppyswriting]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓?

One shot!: Crimson x Hellborn fem!reader

summary: You spent most of your time on the greed ring for some reason, but an anonymous call to the place you worked at lead to a rather un-pleasant meeting with an old fuck buddy.

Warnings: slightly suggestive, other than that I guess nothing else? Enjoy ! !

Notes: I saw this sitting on my drafts and I thought of finishing it to leave you guys with something. I think crimson is more of a guilty pleasure of mine lol, I’ve been really concentrated on finishing the chapter for the helluva boss series that I really lost interest in finishing the other one shots that are dead on my drafts. I’m really sorry!!

You had a good gig going on

Well, at least for you. You were on your little world right now, not paying attention to anything your boss was saying. Pretty much just zooming out until a loud crash woke you up from your little dream.

It was a helicopter, you figured out it had something to do about a client from the little words that actually went into your brain with your bosses talk. Sitting down, you questioned if this was even secure because of the seatbelts followed by Milli’s concerned look.

You guys weren’t sure about this.

And hell were you right, you heard Moxxie talking about how this place was similar to where he grew up in. Being taken aback when he saw a house that was rather familiar, bringing him unpleasant memories. But you? You were frozen in spot. Hold on a minute, you knew this house.. Oh, how did well you knew it.

“Blitz, who was this meeting with..?” Both Moxxie and you asked, which caused him to give you a strange confused look for some seconds before jumping right in on his own topic. You didn’t noticed this, too concentrated praying to whoever came to your mind that you didn’t land right there.

No, no no no fuck no.

You stared with a shocked expression the house , while your boss pushed you and Moxxie to the front. A guy stood up calling out Moxxie, but when he saw you his eyes widened a little. He didn’t expect to see you, but he gave you a smirk before going back to Moxxie.

“Come give ya’ daddy a hug.”

“Daddy?” Both Millie and Blitz looked confused, while you and Moxxie were a frozen mess. Seeing his face again brought you so much memories again, some better some worse. “I only let Moxxie and this one with you call me that, unless ya’ pay me!” He chuckled.

Your eyes widened, while Moxxie’s head snapped in your direction. “What does he mean by that?” He asked, still with gentle words to not sound too harsh. But it still made a shiver run down your spine as you looked at him nervous without knowing what to say. “W-Well, Uh.. He’s obviously just, eh being- I mean joking around. Yes, that!” You chuckled awkwardly as you looked away to hide tour face from embarrassment.

Moxxie didn’t buy that, your words made crimson frown. He got closer which made you step a little back, raising Moxxies suspicion but he decided to ignore it. He introduced Crimson as his father and— “Wait, what?” You said out loud, quickly regretting it as the group looked at you.

“I mean, Cr- He’s your father?” His name almost slipped by your mouth, but you were quicker to act. If you sounded more comfortable using his name it would only make up more questions, and you weren’t planning to explain to the group and less Moxxie now knowing he’s his son how Crimson and you used to Fuck in the old times. “We already know each—”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you sir!” You say with a smile, you had to hide your nervousness by acting quick. The sudden greeting took crimson off, but ignoring all of this your crew entered the house.

Now this was awkward.

You were just sitting there, listening to Moxxie talk about how he met the guy that just entered. Chaz the was called which surprised you by the fact he dated Millie too, but when they hit the Mafia part a chill went down your spine making you nervous. But while they were talking Crimson took a few glances at you which you ignored faking not knowing he was looking at you. You were crap at this, grabbing your pants slightly to avoid your hands to get more sweaty. You never want hell to grab you and sink you in three rings lower.

Now, after some while you guys went to have dinner. You know when someone talks about an aggressively uncomfortable silence filling the room? Yeah, that was what they were talking about. You ate your food without looking at no one until your boss opened his mouth which you were very grateful for. “Soo this is aggressively uncomfortable,… Hey you haven’t said anything tits what’s up?” He asked you which took you completely off, damn you Blitz.

“I- Uhh.. Just don’t got anything to say today, I’m just tired really.” Blitz didn’t buy that, and you knew it by the way he looked at you. Under the table you felt Crimsons hand on your thigh and your body completely froze. “I suppose you want to know why I brought you people here.”

They talked but you really didn’t give much of your attention. You were fully focused on how the hand placed on your thigh moved up and down and the way it sometimes he squeezed depending on the level of the conversation. But when you did actually put mine to it, it already shifted into a heavy convo between Mox and Crimson. Talking about the dude that was sitting in front of you, you looked over to him just to see he was already looking at you.

He gave you a wink and a sly smile, was he flirting? You frowned, but you were surprised when you heard a loud groan and a slightly loud kick from under the table. You guessed that Crimson kicked him because of the hurt expressions on his face and the mad expression on the Imps face.

“Yeahhh I’ve grown, matured and recently came into millions.” The lizzard looking hellbron spoke, ignoring the fellow interaction you decided to jump into the conversation. “Wait so this guy here gets a little money and suddenly it’s worth waisting all of our time? Yeah, no that’s great.” You spat out that but instantly regretted it when you felt a hard pinch on your thigh that made you hiss lowly to not alert the others. While Crimson gave you his signature “shut up and stop talking or else” look, since you’ve grown used to it you did went quiet in reflex.

You just opted by hearing the conversation, a relieved sigh left your lips when you felt Crimsons hand let go of your thigh to get a hold of his wine. He talked about the whole family thing with Moxxie but you decided to not say or do anything since you had Chaz eyes on you and it wasn’t like you trusted fully into him for him to not snitch on you.

After a few minutes you noticed how everyone stood up so you did too, but when you heard Moxxie being called by Crimson you darted him a worried look, before a shiver ran down your spine when you heard Crimsons voice again in the back of your head. “And I will have a talk with ya doll-face later.” Followed by a confused look from Moxxie.

“It’s okay, I’ll explain later. Just, don’t let him get to your head you got this.” After that you left the door and waited outside with Blitz and Millie, she was looking at the door trying to hear what was happening. You couldn’t blame her she did have something to worry about, best case scenario Moxxie would come out with just a slap and nothing more. But as Blitz and you were talking you suddenly felt something poking your ass before it got further up that you had to stand up.

Your eyes went wide and a loud gasp left your lips when you saw all the dicks through the wall, chairs, tables etc. Your boss laughed and Millie was just as shocked as you were before one of the house employees called the three of you to the rooms. Yours wasn’t exactly all too big, but it was something. So for now you’ll just work up some rest for the morning and get the hell out of here, but before you could drift to sleep you heard a knock on the floor. Thinking it was Blitz you opened it and you almost jumped at the sight of Crimson who walked in no time the second you opened the door.

“What are you— what do you want?” You say, now closing the door behind you. Usually you would’ve left it open in case you needed to run to anyone’s rooms in case that he did something but his sharp look told you that for now it was better to not get him pissed. “Come on doll face, why ya’ giving me the cold shoulder. We used to have so much fun in the past.” He smirked.

“Yeah, on the past. Before you threatened to drown me up if I didn’t follow your rules.” He seemed uncomfortable at your statement, but it was true. He did threatened you and you left him because of that he knew that you had a strong feeling towards that type of treatment so why would he be surprised that you did so? Of course that he did his best to find you, but hell were you a stiff woman who stood up with her word. “Come on ya’ doll face, I already tried to apologize.”

“Sending numerous gifts at my door and almost kidnapping me to talk to you isn’t the best way to apologize don’t you think?” You would’ve watched your words and more in a situation like this that you were standing at his house and his area. But you were tired, pissed even “Well then I’m sorry for doing that to ya’. Say, we could grab some dinner and maybe catch up a little?”

You thought of it, yeah he wasn’t the best man but oh how fun those days were when your relationship didn’t get involved in his whole Mafia business. You sighed, knowing that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Maybe we could even have more fun here.” You didn’t notice when you two ended up in your bed and his hand back up in your thigh, he caressed it slowly and getting closer to you.

You didn’t want to do this to Moxxie or even to Millie, but hey.. a night wouldn’t hurt you right? And besides, the second he acts up again you can leave at any minute. Your job actually made you better at killing so it wouldn’t be to hard to fight off his people if he tried anything shady to get a piece of you back. You know what? A night wouldn’t hurt right? It was a long time since you did this and hell did you wanted it, for much that you didn’t admit out loud he still was kinda hot.

The air was tense, and it didn’t take much time until both of your lips could collide together and started to make out. You grabbed his cheek and pulled him closer, and in the way taking of his hat and throwing it in the other side of the room. His hands roaming through your back until finding the hem of your shirt and pulling it up sneaking his hand up to your body. After pulling out from the kiss to get some air he started to kiss your neck and left some love bites and marks.

Fuck it, you would handle Moxxie and the others if they asked in the morning. Right now you were being taken by your desires and there was nothing that the conscious part of your brain did that could pull you out of it.

#helluva boss #helluva boss x reader #crimson helluva boss #moxxie #helluva millie #blitzø #chaz helluva boss #helluva x reader #helluva crimson

[bagopucks]

T. Zegras - Disheveled Duckling

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Trevor Zegras x Reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 4.2k

Warning(s): Insecurities, and a tiny tiff

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“Whose decision was it to make Zegras the cover of NHL 23?”

“Tried and failed to make the new face of the league Trevor Zegras.”

“What an absolute joke.”

“Too flashy. Not enough skill.”

“Good thing the Ducks hired another useless player. I was afraid they might actually make the playoffs.”

“Wonder if he has to hold onto sh** when the wind blows”

“His girlfriend need a man’s man?”

“Holy shit!” I slammed the door to the house I’d slowly grown to love. Trevor and Jamie’s.

Jamie’s head shot up from the couch, startled and frightened by both my abrupt arrival and my anger.

“You good?” I heard him chuckle. No doubt nervous. I took my shoes off, locked the door, and turned to look at my boyfriend’s best friend. Silence filled the air around us. Jamie’s nervous smile immediately disappeared.

“It’s impossible.” My shirt was dripping with water, as were my hands. “And you didn’t even come outside to help!”

“Trevor’s car is really that unclean-able?”

“It’s yours! It’s your Jamie! What are you driving through?” His cheeks turned red. Trevor was out for a hockey game, but when I informed him that my work place was trying to schedule a late night meeting, and we hadn’t known how long Jamie was going to be at the doctors office, Trevor said he’d simply take an Uber. I felt bad when Jamie came home five minutes after Trevor had left. So I decided to go out and wash their cars for them. It was a nice day anyway, a little outdoor time hadn’t hurt.

“I don’t know?” I had managed to get Trevor’s car practically spotless before I had waxed it. But Jamie’s was something else. It had tiny asphalt pieces all over. Which was usual on a car, but I couldn’t scrape them away without chipping paint, and they wouldn’t just wipe away either.

The sun had begun setting mere minutes ago. I had given up on Jamie’s car. I was tired, I’d missed more of the hockey game than I wanted to, and now I was simply angry.

“You’re lucky I have a moral compass that says I shouldn’t hit injured people.” I grumbled as I left the living room, walking through the house to find mine and Trevor’s bedroom. I needed a change of clothes. Something comfortable.

I had been getting notifications for a while on my NHL app. I had only stopped to look at a few, but from what I’d seen, the Ducks were losing. Another reason to be stressed. Another reason to worry about my boyfriend.

I met Trevor when he played for the USA hockey team. We just happened to be in the same town and in the same pastry shop the night it happened. He was trying to order a bear claw, and I had let out a rather exaggerated sigh over the fact that it was the last one. We shared it over two cups of iced coffee.

After that, we became friends and remained so for a long time. The year he got drafted into the NHL, it seemed he’d been on enough of an adrenaline rush to ask me out. I said yes. He pursued his dreams while I pursued my own. Our paths of life ran parallel, but close enough to hold hands along our walks.

I’d been around long enough to see Trevor make records in USA hockey, get drafted, play in the AHL, and eventually join the league permanently. I’d also seen the rise and fall of his mentality as those years went by as well.

I couldn’t pinpoint when it truly started, but I would certainly say when the media began pushing to make him the new face of the league. That was when Trevor began to feel the anxiety.

To everybody else, he loved it. To everybody else, he ate up every second of attention he got. He loved the videos online, the commercials, the sponsorships and free stuff. And part of that was true. Trevor did love all of those things.

But people put so much pressure on you when they expect you to be the poster child of anything. It can change people. Hell, Sidney Crosby’s first year in the NHL was spent screaming at any ref he could over a call he didn’t like. Getting misconducts and penalties he ought not to. Good men can fall long ways under immense pressure. But when the spotlight is on you, all people want is to see you fall and fail. People want to see the hero bend and bend and eventually break.

Trevor loved the attention, but he despised the hate. He didn’t like opening his sports news apps to find articles on himself, and not having the impulse control to not read them. He hated posting something on Instagram, and going back to check a comment from a friend, only to find hate surrounding it. He hated hearing people he looked up to all his life’s putting him down left and right. He hated being misunderstood, but not given the platform to express his grievances. He had no right to discuss his feelings. Nobody would listen.

Perhaps that had been what made him feel like he couldn’t come to me. What made him pull away when I could tell he was tense and disappointed. It took me forever to really understand why he would come home looking so defeated. Looking like a parent who should have expected better from their kid. It took me forever to realize how much Trevor hated himself.

I blamed it on the publicity over and over again. They built him up so much, just to tear him back down. And I knew with each loss, there was a new article. A new post. A new video. A new comment.

My hopes were whisked away when I opened the NHL app to see the score. 5-1. Not a good look for the Ducks. Then of course, upon further inspection, opening the live summary of the game, I realized Trevor had his own ten minute misconduct.

I was never happy that he fought. That he got in people’s faces and picked fights with guys who could have pinned him down to the ice in one shove. But I understood somewhat. Trevor was just trying to look out for himself. Trying in his own short tempered way to be heard in a league that would not listen to him. But we both found through time that nobody was on his side other than his team and few friends.

“Jamie!” I tossed my phone down onto the bed as I grabbed a spare shirt and a pair of shorts. I quickly changed, the lack of response leading me to assume Jamie was ignoring me. I rolled my eyes as I walked back down the hall, stopping once I was in the living area and over the couch.

Not ignoring, somehow asleep. I worried sometimes about him and his pain medication. He was responsible with it, but I still worried. I gently nudged him. Easy to wake, per usual. And he couldn’t have been out that long.

I nudged Jamie again, watching his eyes flutter open. I gestured for him to move, and he quickly cleared a space for me on the edge of the couch. I sat and took the tv remote, turning the screen on.

“Have you had the game on at all?”

“No.. it’s been.. kinda- stressing me out.” I nodded.

“Trevor got into another fight.” Jamie wasn’t surprised. But he knew as well as I did that Trevor was struggling. On his own little broken sailboat, refusing help because he didn’t want anybody else to be caught up in his storm.

“It should be over by now.” Jamie shifted and sat up, leaning against the arm rest of the couch.

I found the channel and flipped it on. Sure enough, Jamie had been correct. I crossed one of my legs over the other, eyeing up the tv in search of my boyfriend. When I couldn’t find him, I assumed they had kicked him out of the entire arena for the last ten minutes of the game. Banished to the locker room.

I used to love games that took place in the middle of the day. Trevor would come home and we’d have dinner together. Then we’d curl up in bed and whisper for hours until we fell asleep. Now, games in the middle of the day meant there was extra time to avoid aggravating Trevor.

We sat in silence until the goal horn sounded, frustrated Ducks players exiting the ice. It was a waiting game now. One Jamie and I were happy to do together, so neither had to worry about Trevor alone.

“He’ll probably be fine.” Jamie broke the silence with a statement we both knew to be false.

“He hasn’t been fine.” I knew that in my mind, but my heart broke at the first confession of the fact. Trevor had been a wreck of emotions and I hadn’t been able to fix even one of his problems.

And he hid it all so well underneath that big smile. And all those jokes.

Jamie and I returned to silence not long after, but when we caught the headlights through the window, he had been the first to get up to leave.

“You should handle this one.. right?” I gave a nod in approval to his suggestion.

“I’ve got him.”

Jamie retreated to his room after that. Always only one call away if Trevor or I ever needed him. I was supposed to be one call away for Trevor too. Why didn’t he ever dial my number?

I waited for what felt like hours for Trevor to come inside. He never did. So I decided to see what was going on. I unlocked and opened the front door, surprised by the sight of Getzlaf’s car in the driveway. I could just barely make out the silhouette of two figures, one pointing at the other in a manner that looked tense.

I leaned in the doorway, and waited patiently before I was spotted. Getzlaf gestured, and Trevor climbed out of the car. He grabbed his gear from the back, and I heard his voice shout something to his old captain before making his way up the short drive to the door. I wasn’t sure what to say, so instead I stood there, staring at Trevor as his eyes met mine. He looked like he was waiting for something.

“Can I come in?” I was surprised by Trevor’s tone. Playful and lighthearted. I looked skeptical, but I nodded and stepped aside nonetheless.

“I was thinking we could do dinner? I miss that. Maybe- we could try.. like steaks? I know Jamie just got a pack the other day.” Trevor’s always been talkative, but this time it feels off. There was a sound in his voice I didn’t know how to place.

“Trevor I can’t cook steaks.”

“Let me do it.” I stared at him as he shut the door. He hated cooking.

“Come on! It’ll be fun! Let me take care of you.” I shrugged. What’s the worst that could happen?

Trevor insisted I sit at the table while he did his thing. I was hesitant, but I allowed him space nonetheless. Trevor tried to talk about the game a bit, but the bitter laugh that occasionally fell from his lips, and the sad sound in his voice usually caused him to stop before he got into any good details. He often stopped his own comments with something like, “guess it doesn’t matter anyway.” And the repetition of the phrase made me feel like it was a media interview. Like he was repeating and repeating just to get me to go away and stop asking questions. I hadn’t asked any in the first place. That’s what he was hesitant about.

“And the misconduct?” I hoped to look disinterested. Like it didn’t bother me, so I looked down at my phone. Trevor never turned to look at me.

“It was bullshit.” I glanced up at him. His shoulders rose slightly.

“What was it on?”

“You didn’t watch?” Trevor turned to look at me, and I don’t know why, but this time he seemed upset. I had missed games of his before… but this was the first in a long time.

“I was a little busy.” I smiled at him, hopeful to keep the clean car a secret until he could see it in the morning.

“No that’s cool..” he shrugged it off and turned back to the stove. It was definitely not cool, not to him, but he wanted to move on. So we moved on.

I listened to Trevor occasionally mumble under his breath about whatever he was making, the sweet smell of cooked meat filling the kitchen along with the sound of the sizzle of two steaks on the pan. I was certain I hadn’t missed out on Trevor learning how to cook.

Once they were finished, my boyfriend beckoned me over, and I was quick to join his side. He cut a piece and I waited for it to cool off before biting the tender piece of meat off the knife he held. At first it was perfect. Then it was oddly sweet. I made a face. Trevor noticed.

“What’s wrong with it?”

My eyes searched the various items and ingredients strewn across the counter. When I noticed it, I giggled.

“Trevor,” I nodded my head toward the container I used for sugar. I never labeled it because I knew what it was, and the boys didn’t use the big box of sugar I had set aside for baking.

“That’s sugar.” His face fell for a split second. Then he started to laugh. I thought about joining him before it all just felt off. Trevor’s eyes quickly adopted a glazed over look, his smile falling into a frown as the laughter ceased and an overwhelming look of grief overcame his features.

Trevor shook his head before turning the stovetop off. I reached for him while he reached for his keys in his pocket.

“Where do you wanna eat?”

“Baby no. We’ll fix this.”

“I don’t want to. Where do you want to eat?”

“Trevor.”

“I said I don’t want to!”

We didn’t get into fights much. We didn’t like to, but I couldn’t keep disregarding his feelings for his comfort. Something had to give.

“I love you, but you’re gonna sit your ass down and talk to me Trevor.”

“Fuck this.” He shook his head, tossing his keys onto the counter and turning to walk away.

“Trevor!” I snapped and followed him. “I am so sick of seeing you so- so sad! You have to talk to me!”

“I don’t!”

“Then who are you going to talk to? Huh?” Because I knew he was horrible at opening up.

“I don’t know! Nobody fucking listens!” I followed him all the way into our room, pushing the door shut behind myself.

“I’m listening!” I was desperate. “Trevor, I’m right. Here.” He turned to look at me. His anger eased into a blank stare, and it seemed my offer brought everything crashing down at once.

We stared each other down. Both waiting for the other to give up or make some kind of move.

“I’m so tired.” Trevor’s voice quivered, his lips pulling into a frown I hated to see. His eyes fell to the floor.

“Everybody’s so…” he drew in a breath. “Too much- it’s all too much.” Trevor sat down on the side of our bed, his head fell into his hands. “They hate me.”

There was a little kid in there. Devastated. Heartbroken that his heroes wanted him gone. That kids parents didn’t deem him a good role model. That he was ruining his own track record by trying to stay afloat. Trying to survive when nobody respected him. When refs pushed him around and legends dragged his name through the mud. Trevor just wanted to live his dream. He had fun before all the publicity. He didn’t need it, but it was forced on him.

“Nobody hates you.” I slowly made my way over, raking my hands through his hair. Trevor lifted his head to look at me, his brow furrowed and his cheeks red.

“Everybody does! I don’t want to be the guy everybody hates!” Trevor raised his voice, but I couldn’t be bothered to be upset. This was only the tip of the iceberg.

“They liked me..” his voice dropped to a mere whisper. My brow furrowed as I rested my hands on his cheeks, prepared to wipe tears as they began to fall.

“Huh?” I met his volume, Trevor closed his eyes tightly, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“They liked me.. and I ruined it.” Sure, he hadn’t been perfect, but even the aggressive egotistical asshole players had fans. This wasn’t Trevor’s doing. This was the media realizing they failed and then deciding to spin his story. To make him a villain.

“It’s all my fault.” His words were interrupted by a broken gasp, I guided his head to lean against my stomach, pushing a sigh past my lips as I tried not to get too emotional.

“Trevor, this is not your fault.” I ran one hand through his hair while the other held his head.

“I just can’t- fuck!” His voice was muffled in my shirt. “I don’t want this.” I glanced down at him again, my hands travelled to his jaw to move his head from my body.

Trevor’s eyes met my own. So sad. So lost. So broken.

“I don’t want hockey if it comes with all this shit.” He tried to bury his head back against my body, but I held his jaw tightly.

“Trevor.” I carefully moved forward, resting my legs on the bed on either side of his own. I sat on his thighs and pulled Trevor in for a tight hug. His hands gripped the sides of my shirt.

“You just have to be patient. They’re gonna test you.” I whispered against his ear as his head buried in the crook of my neck.

“They test me every day.” I sighed. I didn’t know how to help. “I mess everything up.. they don’t want me. They want somebody who can actually get shit done. They want somebody bigger and faster.. and stronger. They want what I’m not.”

I rubbed at his back with one of my hands.

“Trevor, nobody gives a shit about your weight.” I had never heard a single thing on it before. Sure, maybe his mom made a comment or two about how skinny he was, but it was more so commentary when she was trying to feed him. It never had anything to do with his job.

“Yes they do.” He was insistent. I knew this was a projection. Him trying to find a reason to blame himself for something he couldn’t help. Not everybody gained muscle easily. It wasn’t a bad thing. But to him it was. To him, it was embarrassing.

“I think you look great already. If you get too big, then you can’t lay on top of me any more.”

“That’s not the point.” My joke crash landed. It only seemed to frustrate Trevor more. “People just.. they say shit.” I rested one of my hands on Trevor’s forearm while I worked the other through his hair.

“Like what?”

“That I can’t keep up.. that I’m too scrawny. I need to ‘build up.’ But I can’t! I try and I can’t! I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” He sounded desperate. Desperate for answers I didn’t have.

“It’s genetics Trev. It’s not something you can help.” I knew he tried a million different things. Nothing ever worked. And I knew how hopeless he could get when he’d go to take a peek in the bathroom mirror, and see absolutely no progress. Trevor never had an issue with his body until people started saying things about it.

He’d always wanted to get bigger, but he was patient before. He was willing to really take his time. Now one comment could leave him in the gym for more hours on end than he ought to be in there for. One chirp left him laid down next to me in bed with a shirt on and a pair of pants, curled in on himself like it would somehow make him and his insecurities any less noticeable.

“Or maybe I just shouldn’t be playing hockey. Maybe I’m just not cut out for it.” His sadness had shifted into acceptance. Like he was ready to give up.

“They drafted you Trevor. People talked about you forever. People were elated to have you in the league.”

“Yeah. Were.“

“They still are.” I sighed. “So you have an attitude? They’ll get over it. You know how many people have said they love you? They love your personality, and your talent? You’re a new version of the game. A new type of style everybody is going to know you for.” I moved my hand from Trevor’s hair. I gently traced his jawline with my fingers, holding my breath at the sight of my disheveled duckling.

“What if it never gets better?” Trevor had thought about this more than I realized. I shook my head.

“It will. There’ll be some new hotshot they’ll idolize and attack. Some new player who takes a downward spiral that they decide to torture. This won’t be you forever.. you just have to stay strong while it happens. Okay?”

“I just wanted to play hockey..” exhaustion was evident in his tone. I allowed Trevor to rest his head on my shoulder again, his breaths were heavy from trying to hold back the tears that hadn’t fallen.

“It’ll all work itself out, Trev.” My voice lowered to a whisper. “They did the same thing to Jack.. they did the same thing to Crosby. You just have to handle it better.. that’s all. You know I love you, I just think they get under your skin too easy.”

“I know.” Trevor sighed.

“You have to remember to calm down sometimes. Nobody’s ever going to listen if all you do is yell and fight.”

“That’s what Getz said.” I had been curious, but at no point did I consider asking what Getzlaf had said to Trevor. It hadn’t been my place. But I was happy Trevor told me nonetheless. It was reassuring to know somebody else was telling him the same things.

“You need a stress ball out there or something.” I joked softly, running my hand through Trevor’s hair one last time before I rested my hands on his shoulders, pushing him back so I could see him.

Trevor mustered a sad smile at my words.

“Maybe you just need to chew on your glove like Jack.” I added, trying to go two for two. It seemed that comment earned a giggle from him.

“Or reach out and talk to him.” My tone took up a more serious sound. Trevor pursed his lips and nodded. “You guys don’t talk as much as you should. He probably gets jealous of Jamie.”

I went three for three the second I noticed Trevor’s smile widen, his eyes squinting as well when he laughed.

Silence enveloped our own little world. I tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. Trevor seemed to finally relax.

“We’re gonna be okay,” I whispered as I gently placed my hands on his chest. Trevor picked up the cue to lay back as I propped myself up over him.

“And I love you.” I added softly, pressing a kiss to his collar. “And Jamie loves you,” Trevor smiled again. “And your mom, and your siblings, and your dad. And all of your friends all scattered about.” I climbed off of Trevor and slipped off the bed. He looked confused before sitting up to look at me, eventually standing as well.

“You don’t have to be perfect.” He stepped closer, resting his hands on my sides as my own slipped beneath his shirt to hold his hips. “Nobody needs you to become a body builder.” I continued. Trevor nodded slowly. “And nobody needs you to lose that attitude.” I wrapped my arms around his body beneath his shirt, gently scratching his back. His weakness. He loved back scratches. “Just keep being the Trevor I know and love. Just be yourself, okay? Everything comes after that.”

And everything did come after that. I didn’t want Trevor to lose himself or his confidence because of others.

After I got him settled, Trevor and I had cleaned the mess in the kitchen and I took him out for a quick dinner. We ate on some curbside, talking and laughing over nonsense. When we did get home, I had checked up on Jamie, prepared to ask if he was hungry before I found he’d been asleep. After that, I slipped back into our room and got settled in bed with him, flipping through streaming services until we found something to fall asleep to.

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

#nhl imagine #trevor zegras #nhl x reader #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Safe

Summary: “You can’t keep punishing yourself for what happened twenty years ago. It was not your fault. You are allowed to move on. You are allowed to care for other people And no matter how much you tell yourself that she’s only Cargo. You care for her.”

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 1.3k

Warnings: G

Warnings: !spoilers for episode 6 of TLOU!, established relationship, mostly fluff, domestic fluff I would almost say, little angst, talking about feelings, comfort, some touching, mention of periods

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics to get notified for new fic updates

It was almost scary how normal everything in Jackson was. The old normal, not the new normal. 

The moment you had seen the fully decorated christmas tree you felt like you were in the twilight zone. 

You had arrived earlier with Joel and Ellie on horseback, almost making Joel laugh as you sang “Yeah, I'm goin' to Jackson, Look out, Jackson town,” against his ear, fully intending to bully him into singing the Johnny Cash song at some point when you found a guitar for him.

If you were honest you would have never thought you actually would find Tommy. Then again you should know better by now. 

Joel Miller could not be stopped once he set his mind towards something. 

You had given them space.

Time for them to catch up and talk. 

Something in Joel had changed after Kansas City. More than once you had caught him staring at Ellie when he thought nobody was watching. 

You knew why. 

This was not just a job anymore or a promise to fulfil.

He was starting to care. 

Years ago when you had come into his life, it had been the same. Once he realised that he was starting to feel something for you. 

It had taken almost a year for him to admit that he had feelings for you too.

Joel was afraid.

Afraid of catching feelings.

Afraid of letting himself care for people.

Afraid of moving on. 

The first time he had spoken about Sarah was almost four years after you had met him. 

You had made the mistake of asking about his watch, genuinely curious. He had looked at you like he had been shot before uttering an excuse under his breath and leaving your then shared apartment. 

He came home after curfew, smelling of liquor. 

And then he started to talk. 

Joel and you…

He was your person. 

He was the one thing that kept you going in this fucked up world. 

The one person who made you feel safe, no matter what was happening around you. 

The man you, against all odds, had fallen in love with while the world was ending. 

And you were the one person he allowed himself to be fully himself with. He let you see the good and the bad. 

It’s why you knew that it would only be a matter of time he would do or say something stupid.

The house was quiet when you finished your shower. You had said goodnight to Ellie before you went to the master bedroom, getting out of your filthy clothes and allowing yourself to just soak under the hot water. 

Maria had spent the whole day showing you around and providing new clothes. She even offered to give you a haircut.

You did not like the way she talked about Joel. She knew only one side of the story, but you had chosen to not start an argument only hours after getting to safety.

For the first time in six years you shaved, using the razor you had found under the sink. 

You felt like in the twilight zone as you pulled the big, surprisingly fluffy towel around your body, grabbing the bottle of shea butter you had almost cried as you spotted it and walked back into the bedroom. 

You sat down on the bed with a sigh, closing your eyes. 

Tonight would probably be the first night since leaving the QZ you might get a full night of sleep.

Pulling the towel down you opened the bottle to start and rub the lotion into your skin. 

The familiar scent invaded your nose, making you remember better days when your biggest problem was deciding what takeout to order while you watched the newest episode of Friends. 

Fuck, you never found out how it ended. 

Chuckling to yourself you shook your head, slowly working your hands up your body. 

You jumped when you heard voices all of the sudden, your eyes flying around the room to spot the closest gun before you noticed who it was.

Joel and Ellie. 

You could not make out what they were saying but it did not sound like a pleasant talk. Setting the bottle of lotion on the bedside table you grabbed the towel to walk back to the bathroom to hang it up to dry. 

You put on an old tshirt to sleep, switching off the lights just when the door to the bedroom opened and Joel stepped in. 

He closed the door behind him, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. 

You sucked your bottom lip in. 

“Hey,” you whispered. His eyes opened, finding yours. You could see tears in them. 

“Hey,” he mumbled. 

“Are you…” you started to ask but he shook his head and walked past you into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. 

You suppressed a sigh, deciding to give him space as you climbed into the most comfortable bed you had laid in in years, pulling the covers over you, falling asleep within minutes. 

You woke up when Joel got into bed behind you. His nose nuzzled into your neck, kissing your shoulder softly, as his arm pulled you against his chest.

You allowed yourself to melt into his warm embrace, putting your hand over his that laid on your stomach. 

“I asked Tommy to take her to the Fireflies,” he said. You closed your eyes. 

“Joel…”

“I’m old. I’m tired and I’m… I’m fucking scared. I can’t….” he took a shuddering breath and your heart broke. Carefully you turned around, your hand coming to rest on his cheek.

“Look at me baby,” you said and his eyes opened, finding yours in the soft light that came from the lamp on the bedside table. 

“She’s not Sarah,” you whispered. He tensed, like everytime someone mentioned her. 

“You can’t keep punishing yourself for what happened twenty years ago. It was not your fault. You are allowed to move on. You are allowed to care for other people And no matter how much you tell yourself that she’s only Cargo. You care for her.”

He sighed, his arm around you tightening to pull you even closer. 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said quietly. 

“The heart wants, what the heart wants,” you smiled.

You kissed his nose, the corner of his lips twitching upwards. 

“You should apologise to her,” you said. 

“How do you…?”

“Joel, I’ve been dealing with your moods for almost six years. You probably said something you didn’t mean. I learned to deal with it, but she’s fourteen. And she has no one but you.”

And she’s on her period, but you chose to not tell him that. 

“She has you too,” he whispered. 

“Yeah, but I did not piss her off,” you smiled softly and he groaned and closed his eyes. You let your hand run through his wet hair, making him hum. 

“You smell good,” he said, his nose nuzzling against your throat. 

“I am so stealing that lotion when we leave,” you smiled and he chuckled. 

“Shaved too. I feel like 2003 all over again,” you closed your eyes. 

“You shaved?” he asked and you opened one eye.

“Jep,” you grinned, closing your eye again. You felt his hand run down your legs, his rough hand brushing over your smooth skin. You made a mental note to make him put lotion on his hands in the morning.

“Everywhere?”

“Mhh,” you nodded, feeling his hand go up your inner thigh.

“Joel?” you asked, feeling his fingers brushing over your trimmed pussy.

He hummed.

“Sleep,” you mumbled, feeling his body shake in a silent chuckle. He kissed you softly, pulling the covers up to both your noses. 

“I love you,” you whispered just before you fell asleep, missing how he whispered those same three words into your skin. 

#my fic #Joel Miller #Joel Miller x fem. reader #Pedro Pascal #tlou #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #the last of us hbo #the last of us

[smartycvnt]

Team Effort

Title: Team Effort

Pairing: Jennifer Jareau x Reader

Summary: JJ has a hard time dealing with Ash going on a mission.

Word Count: 702

Pt. 2 to Sniped

JJ paused at the door as she saw Ash's bags. It was a reminder that in just a couple of days, she'd be all alone for the next several weeks. Ash was supposed to be done with the special operations. She had, in a more official capacity, retired. Unofficially, there was no better shot than her.

"Oh good, I thought I heard you come in." Ash greeted JJ with a quick hug and kiss, just like she always did. JJ didn't want to think about having to go without their little shows of affection for that long.

"Yeah, sorry it took so long. Traffic was horrible," JJ said. Ash could tell that the blonde was clearly distracted. JJ always got a little weird whenever Ash went away on missions. Ash didn't know if it was the time spent apart that upset JJ so much or the idea of Ash being in danger.

Technically, Ash never felt like she was in any sort of danger. Her job was the safest one in the squad's. She was always the furthest away from whatever the actual danger was. Ash was a long range sniper, generally shooting from hundreds of yards away from the blast zones. It was highly unlikely for anybody to even know where she was shooting from.

"Come on, I made us something for dinner." Ash ushered JJ towards the dining room. There was nothing particularly special laid out, but it still meant the world to JJ that Ash tried. Especially since JJ knew how important it was for Ash to use this time to get herself in the right headspace. The smoother the operation went, the quicker that Ash would be back in DC with JJ.

"I wonder how different our lives would be if you decided to become a chef instead," JJ mused. Ash had spent her teenage years working as a cook in her parents' restaurant, and it was not something that she could have done any longer than she did. It was stressful as a job, but Ash loved cooking as a hobby.

"We wouldn't know each other. I'd have kept my sorry ass in Iowa and married some big farm boy," Ash said. JJ could tell that Ash knew the specifics of what her life would have been. They didn't talk about that sort of thing very often, and for good reason. "Enough about hypotheticals, I'm leaving soon and I'd like to actually enjoy my time with you."

"I wish you would just tell them no," JJ said.

"Look, when I signed the resignation papers, I wasn't ready to go yet. I like being an independent contract, it means I can stay here with you instead of having to run back and forth between here and the training center. I doubt that you're suddenly willing to uproot your life and move." Ash had a good point, but that didn't mean JJ was happy about it.

"I just wish that you could find something here that you like doing that much. Have you tried meeting with the Pentagon again? Hell, I bet that you could get a spot in the FBI as an instructor if you wanted. There's no reason for you to go so far away where I can't make sure that you're safe!"

"JJ, I know that I'm not a phone call away, but I'm always safe. I have my team to keep me safe just like you have yours. We have to trust in each other's teams because if we don't, we'll put ourselves through hell," Ash spoke softly as she took JJ's hands into hers. "It's not easy to think about, but it's the way that it is. You understand that, JJ, I know that you do."

"It's different with you. People aren't actively shooting at me," JJ said.

"And they aren't shooting at me either. I'm pretty far away from the danger. I just need to immobilize my targets or clear paths for the team to do what they need to. I'm not a soldier anymore, if anything, I'm there to minimize the casualties." Ash could tell that JJ wasn't completely over her fears, but she was calm enough to enjoy their evening together.

#my writing #one shot #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #cm x reader #cm #jennifer jareau x reader #jennifer jareau

[sprite-writes]

Yours (and Ours)

Leonard “Bones” McCoy/Reader (Original Female Character)

Summary: McCoy hated surprises, and being interrupted. Though for the right person, he supposed he could make an exception.

Word Count: 2,214

A/N: Guys im so sorry this chapter took so long LOL sometimes writing is hard but worlds biggest shout out to my beta @lightninginmyeyes who I could not have finished this without <333 also masterlist is coming soon !! anyways enjoy <3 

Breaks were hard to come by in the medical field. Being a doctor was all gas, no breaks. Patients' demands were high, and staff demands were even higher. Most of those in Science Blue spent most of, if not their entire day, on their feet. 

Leonard McCoy, most of all.

Chief Medical Officer was no small feat. Most days he wasn't, just a doctor– he was a nurse, a therapist, a leader, and whatever the hell else was demanded of him. 

Without a doubt, breaks were hard to come by. 

So, on the rare occasion when the medbay breathed for a moment, and he could slip out for an indulgent walk and a much needed cup of coffee, he thanked god for the opportunity. With a loop around the mess hall and a replicated coffee, he felt like a new man. Far too soon, he was back in front of the medbay, strolling in, greeting Chapel with a nod and as much of a smile as he could muster. His head nurse returned the smile…a bit too cheerfully for the day they were having. Leonard elected not to think about it too much. God knows he had enough on his plate. He punched in the keycode to his office, ready to tackle this new bout of paperwork. 

The thing is, McCoy was used to his office being a particular way. He kept his lamp on the left side, his family photo on the right, with a box of tissues and a cup of pens. Everything had its place and was accounted for.

So the box of colored pencils and stack of paper laying atop his things was a fair shock to him. So was the woman sitting at his desk, in his chair, looking very much like she belonged there. 

He faltered for a moment as he took in the sight and gained his bearings. 

“Uh, Sunshine?” he said with bewilderment. He glanced at his watch to double-check that his coffee run hadn’t stretched to the end of his shift (which was impossible anyways) and confirmed she should have been on the bridge by now and certainly not sitting in his office, in his space, amongst his things. 

At the sound of his voice, the woman's head shot up, her focus broken from the papers laid in front of her. 

“Oh hi, Len! I was wondering when you’d be back,” she said casually, like it was routine for her to be there. With no explanation, she returned to the task of, well, whatever she was doing. 

Leonard stood, thoroughly perplexed. It was midday, and he knew for a fact an operations manager would not have nothing to do around this time. From her silence, it would seem that he would be getting no answers unless he asked for them. 

“Not that I’m not happy to see you Sunshine but, uh, aren’t you on shift right now? And how exactly did you get into my office?” he inquired with more patience than he would have offered anyone else. 

She lifted a red colored pencil from the paper and thoughtfully tapped it to her temple 

“Technically, yes, I am on shift, but I decided this is part of my job, and Kirk hurt my feelings earlier this week so he owes me a moment away.” He finally approached the desk and peeked at her handiwork. “And Chapel let me in, by the way – said you wouldn't mind.” 

Her movements slowed to a stop, and she looked up at the doctor with the biggest, prettiest eyes he’d ever seen.

“You don't mind, do you?” she asked. Usually, he would have, but he decided right then, that he did not actually mind at all. 

“I’m more curious as to what this,” he gestured to his now messy desk, “is all about?” 

She beckoned him to come closer, and he found himself sitting in the obligatory guest seat…at his own desk. Sunshine held up a glossy piece of paper, folded in half with blue and pink bubble font across the front reading, ‘Get well soon!’

He stared for a moment, his eyebrows drawing together.

“You’re…writing cards?” 

“Yeah!” she nodded. “For the engineers who got affected by that gas leak. That rash looked… not fun. Thought it might cheer them up, maybe.” 

He would never say it out loud, for fear of losing her friendship forever, but at times like this, Kirk may have had a point about her being a bit…kindergarten teacher. 

She laughed at his sort of scrunched-up expression. “Listen, I know what you’re thinking and you’re right! It's a little silly, but the engineers that were on that dock were all Ensigns! Like, fresh out of Starfleet! They probably miss their families, and now they have a nasty purple rash to worry about. I just thought they might like a card.” 

McCoy could say for certain that he had never met anyone quite like Lieutenant Sunshine - and realized he never would again. This was incredibly kind, and wholly unnecessary… and a very Sunshine thing to do. Though one important question still lingered. 

“And you’re doing this in my office because…?”

She shrugged. 

“Well I could do it in my quarters, but I figured you could use the company.” She paused. Before adding sheepishly, “And I wanted the company.”

McCoy coughed to cover up his surprise. Though, he wasn’t sure what else he was expecting. Sunshine was known for being candid with her feelings. Most of them anyway. His cheeks dusted pink. 

Sunshine, oblivious to her friend's blushing, tossed a colored pencil and a card his way.

 “You should sign this one, by the way. A little birdie told me you yelled at Ensign Barlowe while taking her vitals, and I’m sure she’d appreciate a card from you.” 

He internally damned Scotty, who was not only probably the ‘little birdie’ but also definitely put her up to this. 

He stared down at the card, forcing his head to stop running a mile a minute, and finally mustered a scoff. 

“I’m not signing an apology card because an Ensign couldn’t sit still on the Biobed.” 

Sunshine shook her head and giggled. God, what a sound, he thought. 

“It’s a get well soon card, not an apology card. And I’m not scolding you, Len. That day must have been stressful. I mean, fourteen engineers all turning purple? Crazy. I could never do your job.” 

He shook his head. He was pretty sure Sunshine could do anything she put her mind to. His mind wandered briefly to what it would be like, with her by his side, decked in Science Blue. His heart stuttered at the image. 

He wasn’t sure why, but he found himself scribbling ‘feel better’ onto the bottom of the paper, and tossing it back to her. The smile that bloomed on her face told him it was the right decision. 

He leaned back in the chair and watched her thoughtfully. The sound of her voice played on repeat like a record in his head. He found himself ruminating on every pretty syllable she spoke. 

“Kirk hurt your feelings?” he blurted, remembering how she got here. Sunshine paused, surprised by his suddenness. An unreadable look passed over her frowning face.

“He just said a dumb joke, it’s nothing to worry about. Promise.” Her smile returned, just as quickly as it left. Leonard tilted his head. He was expecting her to launch into a story of which he would hang on every word and that would give him fuel to berate Kirk with later. Just how badly did Kirk fuck up?

“I can practically hear you thinking, you know. You’re such a worrywart.” Her eyes playfully flicked from her cards to him. “Like I said, it’s fine.” 

“You sure? If you’re mad enough, I could schedule him for a measles vaccine. Maybe a booster shot too.” 

Her laugh echoed around his office and illuminated it like a fire. He smiled, finding hers to be contagious. 

“That’s gotta be malpractice, Len. Hard no from me.” She shook her head. 

“Malpractice? I’d be doing him a favor. That man avoids healthcare like it’s the plague.” 

Sunshine rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Doctor.” 

She looked like she belonged, he thought. Sitting in his office, in his chair. He allowed himself a brief moment of peace, as he sipped his coffee and watched her switch colored pencils. He was content to just watch her like this, without conversation or reason. Unfortunately, nothing can last forever. His eyes drifted toward the ticking clock. 

“You know I have to get back to work eventually, right?” Not that he wanted to leave, at all. In fact, if time allowed, and if he didn't know Chapel would be beating down his door soon, he would stay cooped up in his office with her for hours. 

She laughed. “Yeah, I know, CMO. I’m starting my rounds soon too. All I could squeeze from Kirk was 15 minutes down here.” 

Leonard blew a raspberry. 

“I wish I could get 15 minutes away.”

Her head quirked. 

“Don't you have some time? Chapel told me you weren't busy, or else I wouldn't have bothered you.” She paused and received the pointed look from her friend. “Okay, I probably still would have, but with more poise and apologeticness - but that's beside the point!” Sunshine began stacking up her cards and putting away her colored pencils. “Chapel specifically said you weren’t busy when she let me in!” 

The gears in Leonard’s head turned. He was very, very far from not being busy. The Medbay had been as bustling as ever this shift, and the only reason he left in the first place was by Chapel's suggestion, who swore she could handle things for a few minutes. 

Damn it, Chapel. 

“Len? Everything alright?” 

When his eyes pulled from the ground, Sunshine was right in front of him, with a questioning smile. Leonard felt blood rush to his face at their proximity. She smelled like… well, sunshine. And flowers. And just… good.

“Yeah, fine,” he said gruffly. 

“Walk me out?” 

“Of course.” 

He dared to place his hand on the small of her back as he led her out, and if he paid just a little more attention, he would have seen her cheeks redden at the contact. 

They exited in tandem, with Sunshine rambling about wishing rounds were any other day, and how the last thing she wanted to do was run around the ship checking up on complaints that ‘could easily be solved in an email.’ 

“Well,” she said as they reached the entrance. “Thanks for letting me hide in your office for a few.” 

He waved his hand. “Anytime,” he said with lighthearted sarcasm. 

She placed the cards on the reception desk and snorted, “You’ll regret saying that, McCoy.”

He replied, with all sincerity, “I doubt that.” 

They were both quiet for a moment, looking at one another, eyes glossing over with adoration. 

Sunshine had always admired the doctor's strength, and his drive to help others in all circumstances. 

Leonard would forever be in awe of her kindness and her unwavering spirit.

A cleared throat broke both of their gazes. Sunshine flinched, nearly dropping her papers. 

“Chapel! Hi! Thanks for letting me use Len’s office.” She laughed nervously, awkwardly dropping the stack of cards on the desk. “You’ll make sure the engineers get these?”

Chapel glanced between the two knowingly. Both of which now refused to make eye contact. Leonard was suddenly very interested in the linoleum floors and Sunshine in the plain white ceiling. 

“Of course, Lieutenant,” the head nurse said politely. Sunshine thanked her again before acknowledging Leonard. 

“Have a good shift, and, um, see you later!” she blurted before hightailing out of the medbay like it was suffocating her.

The Doctor watched her go with the sudden sinking feeling that he’d done something wrong. And as usual, when these feelings began to well within him, he took them out on whoever was closest, or, in this case, responsible. 

“Really, Chapel?” 

He leaned over the reception desk. 

The woman in question stared at her manicured nails without a care in the world. 

“Really, what, Doctor?” 

Leonard gritted his teeth impossibly hard and blew a long breath out of his nostrils. 

“You didn’t think to, oh I dunno, warn me before letting someone in my office in the middle of the work day?” 

He wasn’t angry at her, not really. He was more frustrated with the feelings that clawed up his chest whenever he heard Sunshine’s laugh or the constant feeling to reach out for her -

No, he wasn’t really mad at Chapel. 

But that wasn’t going to stop him from acting like he was. 

“It’s just Sunshine,” the woman shrugged. “Would you have preferred I turned her away?” She finally met Leonards's eyes with just as much ferocity as he was giving her. 

“No,” he gritted out, “but a warning would be preferable.” 

She rolled her eyes and returned to her work. 

“Just trying to move things along, Doctor.” 

He stomped away before his head nurse could add anything else. 

He returned to his office, palms sweating, and tried not to focus on the smell of her warm, floral perfume now hanging in the air.

#Leonard McCoy #on a cloudy day #leonard mccoy x reader #original character #yay new chapter #I hope u enjoy #star trek alternate original series #Star Trek #jim kirk

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 2x12 ‘The Mandalore Plot’ Reaction

I love Satine. She is AMAZING. She is so fierce, takes absolutely no nonsense, stands up for what she believes in, is exceptionally competent and skilled in her areas of speciality (diplomacy etc), calls out Obi-Wan on his philosophical jedi bullshit and saves his life as well. And the sass. The Sass. It is off the charts. They spend the entire time flirting under the pretence of verbal jousting, sassing back and forth at each other. I love it. I love them. I spent so much of this episode just CACKLING.

Satine and Obi-Wan are perfect together. They compliment each other so well. They’re one of those couples that are just meant for each other. They’re soul mates (if this was a Soul Mates AU). Yes I know what happens shhh just let me enjoy this 

I know I go on about Space Husband Cody all the time but Obi-Wan and Satine are just so good together. Obi-Wan can have a Space Royalty Wife and a Space Warrior Husband, as a treat. Or they could all just get together as a throuple. Actually, Satine, Cody and Obi-Wan as a throuple sounds most excellent. Ultimate power throuple right there. 

Anyway, onwards to the live-blogging style portion of this reaction post.

-

Ahahahaha Obi-Wan is pure sass already

Oooh that’s a pretty building. Not particularly tactically secure though seeing as its walls and ceiling are made of glass. Though that makes sense as a pacifist statement I suppose.

Jango Fett was a common bounty hunter? Excuse?!

“Well, Master Kenobi, my shining jedi knight, to the rescue once again.” OMGILOVEHERALREADY

What were those strange shimmering noises?

“After all these years you’re even more beautiful than ever.” Obi-Wan you are NOT subtle

“Kind words from a man who accuses me of treachery.” CACKLING

“No Mandalorian would engage in such violence.” That sounds exceptionally counterintuitive, even if this is a long time before The Mandalorian series.

Did she just ask him out on a date after a verbal joust?!

Those strange shimmering noises appeared again. Also, the ominous music is about as unsubtle as Obi-Wan’s flirting. I think, just maybe, that they might be trying to tell us that *gasp* something sinister is going on here!

There seems to be quite a few lingering shots on the Prime Minister. Does he do something nefarious later down the line?

Naw they’re on a date! 

The little pauses in “It’s so good to see you again Obi-Wan” aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Death Watch. That’s a subtle name.

“Small group of hooligans.” Well that’s going to come back and bite you now isn’t.

“Most distasteful.” Dooku doing the absolute most to chew all of the scenery on this holocall.

First philosophy lesson of the episode. Satine has a damn good point and she’s not letting Obi-Wan get away with any noble jedi bullshit.

Naw he was so worried about her. 

Obi-Wan just deciding what to do for Satine’s safety. I get that it’s probably a good idea but also side eyeing. 

Ok that was not something I’d ever expect them to show in a “kids tv show”, that was rough and intense. 

Is this the first time we hear the Mando’a language spoken?

There’s a lot of religious iconography going on in this episode. The building that Obi-Wan meets the Prime Minister and Duchess Satine in, which looks like a church interior. That hand reaching towards the light.

You two are great and all but why are you sassing each other over the very recently dead dude who is right there?!

“That’s why I’m still talking to you.” SAVAGE 

Ahahahahaha Obi-Wan’s little impressed expression CACKLING

Mining is bad kids

Oooh, a Vizla. Is this Paz’s dad?

“Please try not to cause problems where none yet exist” THE SASS

Omg I love these two. They’re perfect.

That pause before Satine said “meditate” XD

Obi-Wan that snooping around is about as subtle as your flirting

I’m loving the music in this episode. It’s been consistently excellent throughout TCW but this episode especially it is really heightening and adding to everything.

This entire scene of Satine trying to subtly communicate with Obi-Wan without alerting Vizla is peak ridiculous campy TCW comedy

“I’m in a bit of an awkward spot” Obi-Wan does like using that phrase when the situation is much worse than he’s letting on. He did the same thing in 2x9 ‘Grievous Intrigue’ when he asked Anakin to pick them up from a ship that was in the middle of exploding in space.

Why did one of the Mandalorians have an OTT south London gangster accent? 

What are those? Random demonstration space pumpkins to emphasise the squishing Obi-Wan is about to receive?

“This is not good.” ya don’t say

Ahahahaha at the line about the loud metallic clanging sound and the machine about to smash him into bits.

I am CACKLING at their sassing of each other. Obi-Wan is metres away from being pureed and they’re still bantering.

This is definitely me reading far too much into things but that look of relief on Obi-Wan’s face looked suspiciously like an orgasm face. Apt seeing as this is the episode where he reconnects with his old flame.

“Unseemly pleasure” hmmm indeed.

That’s where you’re supposed to kiss dammit.

Again with the random south London gangster accent for the Mandalorian “hooligans”?

“We’ll have to stand and fight. Or in your case, just stand.” OBI-WAN YOU DID NOT

For such an apparently uncivilised weapon, Obi-Wan seems suspiciously good at shooting blasters.

The rock! Satine!

Lol the Death Watch leader just flicked his little cape away from in front of his arm and then the next shot we see of him it’s right back where it was. 

Guv’na? Why the random bri’ish accents?

Lol of course Vizla was the baddie and leader of Death Watch.

Nyoom! Wiz! Zing! Random sci-fi noises!

Obi-Wan why are you dodging missiles with dance moves?! What is this ridiculousness? Also, CACKLING

Satine! There are missiles coming, time to go!

Lol of course he fell on top of her but in this case I don’t care and I will take that trope and run with it! 

“Mine was the more daring of the two rescues.” SNORTS

 Lol at Rex, Cody, Anakin and the clones just randomly turning up at the end of the episode.

#the clone wars #tcw #star wars #sw #watching the clone wars for the first time #tcw 2x12 #tcw 2.12 #tcw the mandalore plot #the mandalore plot #tcw 2x12 the mandalore plot #satine kryze #duchess satine #satine #obi wan #tcw reaction #tcw gifs #obitine #obi wan x satine #reaction #thoughts

[imagineanime2022]

Little Sister

Illumi Zoldyck X Sister!Reader

Word Count: 2062

Requested: Anon

Request: Could you possibly do a one shot with illumi and a younger sister similar to daki pretty pls who’s also a good assassin and is prided on her looks 😊 AND Basically Illumi little sister (reader) gets a S/O and they cheat on us so we run to him in tears what would he do? How would he handle it? How would he comfort us? AND Hiii can you do brother head canons for illumi with a sister who’s about 15-16 so in the middle of milluki and killua who is like a great assassin but also very like caring with him and similar to daki/ume from demon slayer pls!🐺 AND Can you do a one shot or just headcannons(Whatever you prefer) with a reader who is the third oldest Zoldyck who is a amazing assassin who doesn’t fail while also looking after all her siblings and trying to keep the family together pls :)

You had, much like the rest of your family, established your place in the criminal underworld, your ability to assassinate people without leaving so much as a trace was sought after everywhere, you were good at blending into the shadows, your nen ability markedly more dangerous than some of your siblings. You were an emitter type with the ability to turn any bodily fluid into a poisonous substance, something untraceable with subtle symptoms for the most part well until the asphyxia set in.

Illumi was the brother that you were closest to, he liked working with you and when you were younger he spent the most time with you, Milluki was too busy trying to get his mothers approval and Illumi honestly couldn't care less and that led him to watch you more carefully. He started training you young when he realised your ability was manifesting, you had accidentally killed two butlers when you had gotten injured playing in the garden. He noticed when you were young that you were very pretty, and the compliments that you got from others made it an asset that you could use. Even now at the age of 16 it was the selling point for most of your jobs.

The family was starting to crack now that Killua had decided to leave, with all bets placed on him for the next leader of the family, the adults were scrambling even if they tried to hide it. Illumi was off tracking him down, well that was a strong term at the very least you and Illumi knew where he was, the hunter exam. You decided that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have a hunter licence since travel was such a pain when you were on jobs. That was how you found yourself in the underground tunnel waiting for the exam to actually start. You came in as contestant 320 with your boyfriend as number 321. Your eyes found Killua who was already looking at you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, “I’m not going home.” “I’m not here to take you back, travelling is really hard these days, the licence is going to make that way easier and we both know that we can get through this no problem.” You shrugged and he smiled. “Is Dad mad?” He asked. “Honestly I don’t think so, I think he wants you to go home though.” You answered. “Go find some friends, they’ll be good to have, there’s going to be some stages where you need them.” You turned to walk away feeling someone watching you, you looked over to see a man in green, pins in his face and jerky movements. You continued walking as you got close enough he spoke. “You aren’t supposed to be here?” He said and it was then that you realised who it was, Illumi. “Well, I figured that it might be worth getting a licence and since you're both here why not make it a family outing? Don’t worry I’ll stay out of you and your friends' way.” Your eyes travelled to Hisoka who was leaning against the wall a few paces away, he smirked when his eyes met yours. “Mm, what did you bring him for?” Illumi asked as he gestured towards your boyfriend. “(Y/B/N) is here for a licence too, he wanted one.” You rolled your eyes at your brother’s dislike towards your chosen companion. “Remember not to let your guard down.” He warned. “There’s nothing to worry about.” You waved him off as you walked back over to your boyfriend. “Who was that?” He asked. “I don’t know some creepy guy, guess he’s sizing up the competition.” You answered.

It took two tasks for things to break down you had managed to get separated in the tower, that didn’t cause you any problems and you finished as one of the first, with Hisoka and Illumi being some of the people that you noticed first, as time ticked down you started to worry that you’d have to complete the rest of the tasks alone. Hisoka was the one that came over to you while you were sitting alone. “You know you don’t need to wait for him, I doubt that he’ll get much further.” He said. “What does it matter to you?” Your eyes hadn’t moved from the timer, you could see Illumi in the corner of your eye. “Honestly, it’s rather annoying to watch you handicap yourself so readily, little assassin.” Hisoka answered. “You should know that he’s using you.” “Using me?” You asked with a frown. “What do you mean?” Before Hisoka could answer your question the door opened and out stumbled (Y/B/N) but behind him was a girl, you had seen her throughout the exam, she hadn’t ever approached him while you were with him. “Look at his shirt.” Hisoka prompted before standing and leaving you alone, your eyes travelled to (Y/B/N)’s shirt, it seemed to have been thrown on haphazardly or recently ruffled you couldn’t tell, he walked over and smiled. “I’m glad that you made it.” He smiled. “Same to you.” You smiled, plastering on the fake emotion so naturally as you noticed the smell of the girl on him, everything was adding up to a conclusion that you really didn’t want to think about, not right now.

You sat on the boat taking you to the island that the next task would take place on, you looked at the badge number in your hand 321, (Y/B/N)’s number. You could definitely pass without taking his badge but as you looked at him, the way his eyes now wondered, you realised that you weren’t so sure that you wanted to. You decided to talk to him about the tower. You hadn’t noticed in your pondering that he had disappeared, you attempted to find him and it honestly didn’t take long given your occupation, the problem was the position that him in, the girl that he had come out of the tower with pressed against the wall, they hadn’t even realised that you were there, tears gathering in your eyes as you glared at them. She was the one to notice you but you weren’t sure if it was you or the presence behind you that made them look. “O-oh I-” “You what?” You asked, the presence behind you seemed to have disappeared from the moment he looked back at you. “Look, I don't think we’re going to work.” He said. “Oh really, was that before or after you put your tongue down her throat?” You asked. “You know what? You want to know the truth?” He asked. “Yes!” You answered. “You really aren’t that pretty, you’ve been convenient and honestly you’ve gotten rid of a lot of obstacles. I was hoping that you would be able to get me through this last task but it seems like that won’t be the case.” He explained and you looked at him frozen in place, your family had always told you that you shouldn’t put trust in other people but now you understood why and all you wanted to do was turn around and run but this time the presence you felt before seemed closer and you saw your brother’s long hair out of the corner of your eye. “Are you really going to let him talk to you like that?” He asked. “He’s seems to have taken something from you, I think it’s time that you take it back, little sister.” “Later.” You answered as you held the badge up so that they could all see it “after all you're my target on the island I think I’ll take everything from you there.” “That sounds like a perfect plan.” Illumi answered “and the girl?” “Isn’t that your number, big brother?” You asked.

The island itself had not been a problem, you had been tracking (Y/B/N) and the girl, they were sporadic and jerky in their movements they were trying to preemptively shake you off but you wouldn’t be in the occupation that you were that easily shook off, they stopped for the night and that was when you made your move. “You're stopping here?” You asked from your place in the branches. “Y-you found us?” He asked. “I found you.” You answered “I made a promise, I really need your badge.” “Here, have it!” He threw the badge at you and you smiled picking it up off the floor. “Thank you.” From your crouched position you looked up at him. “T-then go.” He ordered. “No.” You answered as you dove forward, dagger taken from the holster on your as you pressed your knee to his throat, the girl screaming. “Sit down, shut up and I might have mercy on you.” You turned back to him “now back to you, you never asked me what my nen ability was, you really should have because you would have known that everytime you kissed me I chose to let you live.” You moved your knee from his neck moving to straddle him pressing your lips to his as your ability activated, you stood as you walked over to the girl who was still sitting on the ground. “I-I did as y-you said.” She stuttered. “You did.” You said softly as taking her chin in your hand. “You said that you would let me go.” She said, tone lifting in hope as you looked at her and shook your head. “I said I’d have mercy and that just means you don’t die slowly and alone like he does.” You explained. “W-wait don’t I have your brother’s number!? I don’t have my badge see” she pointed to her top “if you kill me you’ll never find it.” “It’s a good thing he doesn’t need it then.” You smirked, her eyes widened “yeah I lied because I knew it would force you to stay with him under the impression that he’d be able to keep you safe, stupid assumption really.” “I-I’m sorry.” She cried. “I’m sure you are.” You nodded before yanking her head to the side and effectively breaking her neck. “Nicely done.” Illumi’s voice emitted over the clearing standing over your dying ex. “Do you have your badge?” You asked. “Mm.” He hummed while holding the badge. “Then I will see you in 3 days.” You muttered as you left the clearing and the dead bodies that you had created there as well.

A few days later you found yourself back home, Killua was back home as well and while he was supposedly being punished for everything that he had done you decided that you should go and talk to your father about, he was the only one that could change anything that was happening “Dad, can I talk to you?” You asked. “Of course, come over here.” Your Dad prompted, he’d always had a soft spot for you, his only daughter, well the only one he acknowledged. “What do you want to talk about?” “Killua.” You answered as you settled next to him. “What about him?” Your Dad asked. “I think we should let him see the world, he’s going to have to at some point, he’ll never run the family if it seems like a prison.” You answered, the silence that followed made you rethink “sorry I have overstepped.” “No, no, it’s not that… You think that he will come back?” Your father asked. “I do.” You nodded. “If we give him reason to.” “And why did you come to talk to me about all of this?” He asked. “I want the family to stay together and I thought this was the best way.” You explained. “Mmm, thank you. Let me talk to your brother.” He said, pressing a kiss to your forehead before you got up to leave. “Once this is done I want to hear about what happened, Illumi said there was something that I should hear of.” “Okay Dad.” You answered as you left the room.

It was only voicing your opinion but you hoped it was enough you wanted everyone in the family to be happy and for it to stay together and it only seemed fair that Killua found his way back to the family on his own rather than being forced. You only hoped that your father headed your advice.

Request Here!!

#hunter x hunter oneshot #hunter x hunter reader insert #hunter x hunter imagine #illumi zoldyck oneshot #illumi zoldyck imagine #illumi zoldyck #imagine #oneshot #one shot #reader insert #x reader #platonic

[enniewritesathing]

discussion post #2 (i think?)

This may have been a small update but More Things happened and we gotta talk about it. (Or, I'm gonna talk about it.) More like a ramble, really.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Speculation? Let's talk about it. 🤔

Behind the Scenes stuff:

first off, I wouldn't have the ability to even remotely do ANY of this part without @anothersimsstory's CC conversions and I'm glad I had the foresight of downloading it when I did. (they didn't delete their shit or anything but you know how it is sometimes) and the monitor by Theraven (I don't think they have a tumblr? they have a forum tho), and the EKG leads by @jellypawss. It really pays to make niche CC!!

I had to make swatches for the monitor since it is an important visual thing... but it was wholly contingent on me finding something that's close to actual vital signs and I looked everywhere but they were all stock images and obviously didn't work for what I needed. I then had to search high and low for for it, but I found it. For real!! I had to use TWO laptops (one for settings and the other for the actual monitor) and I screenshotted it, slapped it into paint to save it, make it a swatch, rinse/repeat for I think 15? idk how many

you may think, Ennie, that's a bit much, and I say, my attention to detail game is insane when it doesn't need to be but dammit, the visuals have to make sense from a glance. That and the offchance of someone who knows read the monitor would point something out about it. That said! I tried parcing out what EtCo2 is but all I got from it is was "high number bad".

seriously, I spent... a Stupid amount of time setting that up. 🅱️lease clap for me -- I can safely say that I don't think anyone else would go that far.

I told myself after finishing The Incident I was not gonna be doing 5/6 rigs all in one shot again. (🤡)

The lighting situation drove me up the damn wall and after a point, I just said fuck it. What I didn't anticipate was the stark contrast of John and The Werewolf talking and the memory in terms of setting. It's really cool, I think.

I fretted over this part the whole time because I didn't know what order I wanted and what I was going for, but I think I escalated it properly.

For The Werewolf's veins, I had to do the ol' S4S shuffle, but they are a combination of 3, maybe 4 and ofc had to make outfits for the progression, which is why he's still rocking the half-sleeve look (and from an age/timeline stand point makes him 21/22ish). You know what, let's look at them again!

it's a good look

Speaking of... I had to make a lot of The Werewolf solo poses and I found out that uh, it's all in the brows; they can completely change the meaning. It's bad enough with the angles and the general body language. (Or maybe not? Eh.)

Another visual thing -- The Big Scene... that one, I had going back and forth with it until I decided going all white for The Werewolf's eyes (or lack of pupils). It was far more striking and way scarier than the 'blank' eyes I tend to go with.

seriously, I contemplated on tagging it as a jump scare.

Oh! and the shaking of 3 pics, that was spur of the moment because I really kept going back into the post and something was just missing. I have a (cracked) PhotoMosh and I played with the setting a bit and bingo.

It is probably my favorite post so far. I had to settle with the fact that it's not gonna be the one to be spread around. Or any of it really.

Story Stuff:

There's so many crumbs in this! So. Many. There's even a loaf of bread or two. If you tell me what you're picking up on and you're on some kind of track, you get a cookie (🍪). (I'm serious, btw)

John's clearly shook. This may be the first time we've really seen him like this. And The Werewolf is nonchalant... (I will admit John looks very pretty when he's like this lol)

...or is he? I think there are more cracks in the dam than you'd think. A while back in a post that's somewhere on this blog, but John has a tendency to play with his hands when he's anxious.

Another thing that I just noticed is that they didn't really look at each other; I wonder what that's all about?

I've said it once and I'll say it again; even though they share the same body, John and The Werewolf look very different from one another, and I think that's neat.

Jordan being real about taking advantage of the fact that they're getting paid $$$ and they'd be dumb to not take up the offer.

I had to remember that Brian did not know John was a werewolf at this point in time, or even begin to really put 2+2 together. I call it a bit of genre blindness, helped by the fact that this didn't happen all the time. He just rolled with it. Also, wow he looks very young without his tats; ofc this was the college years and he was beginning to fill out/eating good.

Mark is the smartest dude in the whole story. He said, nope, nuh uh, I'm OUT. IYKYK.

There were so many pics I wanted to take of Daniel punching The Werewolf right in the solar plexus (or thereabouts it might've been slightly lower than that). As they say in the FGC, he failed to block that overhead.

I'm glad I decided to leave in the fact that The Werewolf couldn't see too well.

The Werewolf blew his vocal cords out screaming. He said that shit with his soul. Rarely do I go with the funky text with him since that's his "big scary werewolf" voice (that and he rarely speaks like that). My man said "I'll make you suffer my pain." Beautiful. Can't wait to see how that plays out.

That said, The Werewolf did work himself up to the point of nearly killing himself on accident. But as Charles predicted, his body hit the emergency button and shut that shit down.

I spent the most time worried about this part because it needed to get the point across without it being so... cheesy?

also, I have to say? The Werewolf is a Swearwolf. *rimshot*

The Fucking Around part has ended... The Finding Out part is really going to be fun to watch. (I mean, you can already do this if you haven't but now you have way more context.)

There's something about The Werewolf that's becoming apparent (to us). He's still holding back on his actual feelings. Not only that... he hasn't gotten to John himself and I think that's where it's really gonna go down. John knows this; he's not naive to think that he didn't have a role in all of this too. Something to think about.

Charles is a flat out Nasty Man (very derogatory) and yet, I kinda enjoy writing it.

I do love how he is formal with names, "dear ____" and referring to John's formal name Johnathan.

which I always forget this mfer is named Johnathan. Nobody calls him that.

#ennie rambles #spoilers #story discussion #i think that might be it or at least at this time #i may add to it via reblog if i think of something else #thoughts? comments? concerns? speculation?

[angelic-vibez]

Namjoon x f!reader | Broken

Warnings; cheating? Heart break? I mean if they are a warning.

"Baby please, just- just let me explain" your boyfriend sat across you as you silently packed your bag. He explained. Many more times than you can count. It's just the lack of response from your side, or a single word for that matter that got him at such a devastated state trying to explain over and over again "I never meant to hurt you, or- or- or break your heart I just" between sobs, the man tries explain, though doing so wasn't going to justify what he had done to you.

You don't say anything. You were too broken, damaged and hurt, weak cry or yell at your boyfriend for what he had done.

You had spent a very tiring day at school. You've been so busy lately to the point you were barley texting or talking to your own boyfriend. But he understood. Just like you did when he was busy and gave you the space you needed. But he can't lie, he missed you so much. It's always like he's busy when you're free and free when you're busy.

But you decided taking off the semester. The only reason being your boyfriend and you wanted to see very often now that he's on a break too. You were beyond excited to tell him the good news so you contacted his manager and you were secretly escorted to his apartment. Because that's how it's always been. He's Kim Namjoon and you're his secret girlfriend.

Stepping inside the appartment, you saw a pair of heels by the door. Definitely not yours. You wanted to call out to Namjoon like you always did but you thought he had a guest over so you just decided to just look for him.

Until you reached the bed room door that was left ajar. Confused as to why you hadn't seen any guest in the living room. You pushed it a little, your smile fades. Clothes were thrown everywhere, the room smelled like sex and you see a girl snuggled up closer laying on your boyfriends chest as they were both in deep slumber.

The instant panic that took over you caused you to stay frozen in place. You couldn't move, talk nor breath for a moment. Taking in the situation that unfolded before you, you wondered if this was actually happening.

You finally snapped and stepped back. Knees weak, heart physically clenching from the pain you were feeling. Chest tightening. He slept with another girl, you finally processed the thought yet you didn't know what to do about it. It became so impossible to think, imagine life with out Namjoon. A lot of things raced in your mind all at once almost making you black out right then and there. But you had to keep it together. At least until you get home.

As soon as Namjoon had awoken, he was shocked to see the naked girl laying on him was someone other than his beloved girlfriend. He couldn't believe what he had done.

It took him a while to process it himself. He knew he'd forever feel the guilty about it but swore to never let you know. Little did he know you had already known everything.

So now he sat infront of you as you were finishing up packing. Learning abroad. A deal you didn't take because you'd didn't want to separate further away from your beloved boyfriend. Now you had no reason to say. Which is a good reason to go.

His eyes blood shot red. The fact that you weren't saying anything or crying or yelling at him like any girlfriend would do pulled the strings of his sanity. It was making him feel miserable.

But he didn't know the worse was yet to come when you said "I'm used to it. I'm used to being heart broken so don't worry about me" you finally said some words, which was what he wanted yet it only made him feel worse. He continues to break and hurt even more as he regrets his stupid decisions. Yes, he was intoxicated. But not enough to not know what he was doing.

"Come to think of it, it's actually my fault" you admit, voice breaking a little as tears begin to blur your vision though It had nothing to do with you. Namjoon looks at you with curiosity and sadness, some how knowing you were about to say that it was your fault that you trusted him but, no, it was far from that.

"I always thought... why, of all the people why me? But, now I know, it's not you, or my mom ,or my dad, or my friends, it's me. I'm the problem" tears begin to roll down you cheeks as you begin to think all the things that has been going wrong in your life for the past god knows how long. You felt like you can't keep blaming people even though they had their own faults.

"If anything? I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being good enough to make you stay or I'm sorry for not being as good enough as the girl you slept with and you and I both know you deserved so much more better than me yet you decided to go as low as someone like me - I mean come on- you're Kim Namjoon and I'm... I'm" you took a moment as you thought to yourself. You realise and accept the word you thought of and nod to yourself "I'm a nobody" you smiled through the tears as you grabbed your bag. "I don't hate you Namjoon" for the first time in two years you said his name. And it felt so horrible to hear it come out of your mouth. Especially in the devastated state you were in "I hate myself for not knowing my place"

With that being said, you walked straight out the door not looking back. Leaving Namjoon broken and in pure agony as he continued to sob and continued to break further and further more. He couldn't understand why you blamed yourself. He was the one who cheated.

The words you said hurt more than what he did to you. He hated himself. He hated everything about himself even though you never blamed him for what was obviously his fault. When he was the one at complete fault. He hated himself for making you think so low about yourself. You thought so low of yourself that whatever bad thing that gravitated towards your life was purely your fault and your responsibility.

So you left. You left to save that last bit of hope to keep you alive.

°

°

Part 2? Cause I love angst when they have happy endings. 😭

© angelic-vibez 2022. Do not edit, repost, translate or copy

#namjoon #hearbreak #bangtan #bts #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jhope #jimin #taehyung #suga #skygifs #kim taehyung #kim namjoo icons #bts senarios #bts imagines #rm bts #run bts #bts live #bts namjoon #bts jimin #bts fanfic #bts suga #kim namjoon #sad boi hours #sad thoughts #sadgirl #angsty #ansgt #namjoon angst #breakup

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Time After Time

Warnings: None. Some kissing, and a smidge of making out - teenage!Sam and teenage!reader (both just graduated) nothing explicit or graphic at all.

Summary: It's Senior Prom, and Y/N is Prom Queen and everything, but the night won't be complete if she can't get at least one dance with Sam Winchester.

Pairings: Sam Winchester x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,429

A/N: I’ve decided to do all 30 of these writing prompts. I may miss a day here and there, but I’m going to try to do one a day, and I will be completing all 30 no matter what.  They won’t always be in order.  This fic will be for the prompt: Use the words: crown, dance, smile.

Hope you enjoy! I will be putting together a Masterlist for all 30 prompts and adding it to my main Masterlist.

A/N 2: So, at first I was just going to write this as a one shot, and for now that's what it is, but I have some ideas of how to make this fic into a series. I thought I'd throw it out to you guys and see what you thought. If you're interested, I'll continue the story, so please let me know. 😊 Still not wholly confident in my ability to capture Sam properly on the page! 😬

Both of the beautiful dividers, below and at the bottom, were created by @talesmaniac89 💓

So, it was a long time ago, lots of years, more years than I care to think about, really.

The night had been a long time coming; months of planning and preparation had gone into it, months of excited giggling and daydreaming with my friends. So many conversations and shopping trips, for dresses and shoes, and the perfect shade of lipstick, trying to make everything perfect.

For our Senior Prom.

Of course, however much we'd planned, it wasn't perfect. Our dresses were too hot for the end of June, so we were all too warm, and our high heels pinched our toes; one of my friends, I don't remember which one now, got into a fight with her boyfriend and spent over an hour in the girl's bathroom lamenting her broken heart.

They were back together by the end of the night.

But in spite of these issues, it was a magical night. And not just because I was voted Prom Queen. It didn't really mean that much to me; I wasn't that popular, but my date was, and he'd been voted in as King, so I think I just tagged along for the ride; I'd certainly never campaigned.

I don't really remember my prom date's name either. Steve...something, I think. He wasn't my boyfriend, just a guy who'd asked me to go. And I couldn't just sit around waiting forever for the boy I wanted to go with, to ask me. So, I said yes to...Steve Something and had a nice night. I stood on the stage in my little plastic crown and waved and tried not to feel too silly.

Being up on the stage did have one advantage though; from my vantage point I finally saw him for the first time that night, the boy I'd actually wanted to go to Prom with.

He was easy to spot towering head and shoulders above everyone around him; he was leaning against the wall at the back of the gymnasium that we'd decorated so elaborately, in the hopes of evoking romance. Through a sea of tinfoil stars, white balloons and baby blue streamers we made eye contact and he gave me that warm, sweet smile that never failed to make my heart skip.

Those dimples should really be illegal.

Without really paying attention to what was happening, I walked down off the stage and began the king and queen dance. The whole time I was awkwardly swaying side to side with my date, my eyes were scanning the room for an unruly mop of brown wavy hair and almond-shaped, hazel eyes.

He was so beautiful. I'd fallen for him the second he showed up in my biology classroom two months earlier. He was new, not just to my classroom, but to the school. I knew that right away, because I never would have missed his existence in my small high school.

Then we'd been partnered in a few labs and I'd fallen even harder and deeper for his shy, sincere smiles, and obvious intelligence.

And I'd waited and waited for him to ask me to a movie, or for coffee, or to PROM. There were some moments where I felt sure he was going to ask, like it was on the tip of his tongue, but it was as though he pulled himself back at the last second.

I told myself that it must all be in my imagination, he couldn't be interested, because here I was dancing with Steve Something instead of Sam Winchester.

Finally our dance ended and I told my date I wanted to powder my nose and left him standing on the dance floor to seek Sam out.

I feel a little bad now about my abrupt dismissal of the very kind boy who'd brought me. But the evening was winding down to the last dance of the night and everyone was partnering up for it and I absolutely refused to miss my chance to be wrapped up in Sam's long, muscular arms at least once.

I held up my long skirt and dashed about a little wildly, trying to find him in the crowd while Cyndi Lauper's unique voice blared across the gym singing Time After Time.

"Hey."

I spun around at the familiar voice and craned my head back to smile up at the boy I'd been looking for, possibly forever.

"Hey." I answered back. We then proceeded to stand there awkwardly shifting from foot to foot before both speaking at the same time.

"Do you wanna da-"

"Feel like danci-"

We both laughed, full of nerves, but then he put out his big hand for me to take hold of so he could lead me out to the floor. I timidly put my hand in his, loving the warmth of it, and hoping mine didn't feel too clammy. As we reached the edge of the crowd he pulled me close.

Then, instead of putting both hands on my waist and shuffling around in a circle with me the way the other boys were doing, he slipped his wide, warm palm to the small of my back and then brought the hand he'd been holding up to his lips to kiss the back of my knuckles. He then kept it wrapped up in his and pressed both our hands against his chest. He lead me in a slow, swaying motion in time to the gentle rhythm of the song.

I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and was sure he could feel it too. But I couldn't help it. He was so beautiful. He wore a plain white button up shirt with a dark blue vest, and dark pants. The vest seemed to accentuate his broad shoulders and the way his torso narrowed at his waist, creating a beautiful V shape that made my stomach flutter.

I finally worked up the courage to look into his eyes and was immediately lost in their multi-colored hazel depths. He smiled down at me, gentle and still slightly shy. I decided his shy uncertainty deserved some reassurance. So, I smiled brightly up at him before laying my head against his chest.

I heard the gentle beat of his heart kick up a little and found some reassurance of my own; I wasn't the only one affected by our closeness.

As the song wound down and Cyndi's soft voice faded away, we reluctantly pulled apart slightly and as we did, the lights came up in the gymnasium and as though the clock had struck midnight, a spell seemed to break and people began noisily milling about, gathering up purses and jackets and making plans to get home, or continue the party elsewhere.

Sam and I were jostled around a bit, as people pushed past us. Sam's expression was vaguely annoyed. He still held my hand and he tugged me close again so I could hear him over the noise of the crowd.

"Can I walk you home?"

I nodded eagerly. Then, not wanting to be completely heartless, I patted Sam's arm. "Wait just one second?"

He nodded and I dashed over to where I could see Steve Something standing around with his friends, who weren't really my friends.

Leaning up, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and a smile.

"Thanks so much for everything! I had a great time."

He made a vague offer to take me home, but I could see he wanted to party elsewhere with his buddies. Neither of us were heart broken that it hadn't been a love connection.

"It's okay, I've got a way home. Have a good night!"

And without a backward glance, I ran back to Sam's side.

He grabbed up my hand again, and used his impressive size to clear a path for us through the crush of people still trying to leave.

Finally we were out of the building and free of the crowd. We began ambling slowly toward my house, our hands still linked.

For a while we chatted about school and the fact that we were actually done for good. He asked me what my plans were for the future, and I told him about leaving for college in the fall, the first stop on my way to med school.

I was still excited for my plans and my future, but a part of me already knew I'd be miss this soft, mysterious boy beside me, with his vague descriptions of continuing on "working at his family's business."

Finally we reached my house, and I brought him around to my side door where there was no porch light or window, and therefore less chance of my parents noticing I was coming home with a different boy than I'd left with.

"So..." I fumbled for my words. "Thanks for the dance and for bringing me home."

He nodded. "Thanks for letting me."

We stood in darkened silence for a moment before Sam took in a deep breath. "So, we're, um...my dad and brother and I, we're moving really soon. Couple days, I guess, maybe less."

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. "But I wondered, if I could ah...if I could still call you, and maybe write you some times."

He looked down at his shoes.

I felt my heart sink. I knew I'd be gone in a couple months anyway, but I'd sort of already started imagining a summer full of midnight movies, ice cream dates and swimming at the lake - Sam's broad chest bare, tanned, and warm under my hands.

But those images floated away on a cool north breeze and I moved up against him to catch his eye again.

I smiled. "I would love that." I found a pen in the little purse I'd bought specifically to match my dress.

I pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and turned it over to write my phone number on his palm. I could have written a novel on his giant paw.

"Call me anytime."

He smiled down at me, his deep dimples making me melt slightly as I put my pen away. He continued to look down at me, blinking slowly and making my heart race a little as I watched his eyes fall to my lips.

"Kiss me." I blurted out.

I saw Sam's eyes widen slightly and I slapped a palm to my mouth not quite believing that demand had just popped out. I'd been thinking it so hard, I suppose it was bound to spill out!

"I mean...I just meant..." I was beet red and once again grateful for the dark. "I just mean, if you wanted to, you could kiss me."

Sam didn't say anything for the span of five seconds which was far too long for my panicked and mortified brain so I began gibbering.

"Really, you don't have to...I mean, don't, you don't need -"

Sam cut me off, sputtering a little himself. "No, I want to, really want to. I mean not...I don't mean to...not in a creepy way..."

We both trailed off into silence and then almost simultaneously began to chuckle over our extreme awkwardness, and the ridiculousness of the situation.

As our laughter died down I felt Sam shift slightly closer and my breath caught in my throat. He smelled like something masculine and warm, it was hard to define, but it had a heat and a spice to it that made my knees weak.

He tilted my chin up with his long fingers and leaned forward slowly. I took in the little mole at the side of his nose, and as my eyes fluttered closed I realized it was a beauty mark in the very truest sense.

God, he was beautiful.

His lips met mine and I sighed against them. They were so soft and so gentle as they slanted over mine. He moved his hand from my chin to the nape of my neck, and I shivered as his strong fingers massaged my skin there.

Obviously encouraged by my reaction, he slid his other hand around to the middle of my back, splaying his fingers wide and pressing me more firmly against him.

He swept his tongue across my sealed lips and they parted for him automatically. I felt my stomach swoop and my core muscles clench as he licked into me, his tongue bold and exploring.

I let out a soft moan, surprised by the way my body reacted to him. I'd only been kissed twice before and if this was what kisses were supposed to feel like, I'd been woefully short-changed with those previous lip-locks.

He pulled his mouth from mine, just so he could suck along my jawline, teeth scraping gently there before he moved down the column of my neck. His hand slid from my back, down over my ass, grabbing a handful.

I craned my neck back and buried my hands in his long hair, moaning and feeling a keen kind of need for the first time in my life.

Suddenly, he wrenched himself back from me, chest heaving in a way that was just incredibly sexy for reasons I was still too young and inexperienced to really understand.

"Sorry," he apologized, "got...got carried away."

I was shaking my head before he finished. I was slightly embarrassed at my incredibly eager response, still holding on to the bullshit idea young girls are fed, that being too enthusiastic about making out with a boy meant you were a slut.

But I didn't want him to think he'd done anything wrong either, so I reached up and placed a soft, chaste kiss on his lips.

"Don't apologize. That was..." I looked down at the ground before screwing up all my courage and looking him in the eye. "That was wonderful."

I was rewarded with his dimples again and I reached up to trail my fingers across his cheek simply because I figured it was likely my last chance to do so.

Sure enough as I dropped my hand away, he stepped back out of my reach and gave me another sad smile.

"Well, take care of yourself." He said, and then held up his palm toward me. "I'll call you."

I nodded and smiled, not sure if I believed him; keeping in touch over miles and years was a tall order for someone you'd barely known three months.

But as he backed away from me and then turned away with a final wave, I prayed he would. Because I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Sam Winchester.

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@deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy

@b-i-t-c-h-i-e

@twirpbunwarrior

@mysweetlittledesire

@waynes-multiverse

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@bernasaurus

@jensenslady79

[paradisecas]

I posted 3,970 times in 2022

That's 3,970 more posts than 2021!

244 posts created (6%)

3,726 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@quicksilver-castiel

@pussypopstiel

@jumptheshark

@kellykline

@midamdotlivejournaldotcom

I tagged 2,974 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#q - 642 posts

#queue’ll be my guide - 261 posts

#mine - 249 posts

#midam - 146 posts

#michael - 87 posts

#video - 58 posts

#adam - 57 posts

#michaelghoul - 55 posts

#gt - 53 posts

#midamoul - 53 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and adam having the angry ominous glowing stars for eyes when michaels like no shes never seen me before. nobody has. you’re the only one i

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

dont know how yet. but toying w the idea of something along the lines of— the apocalypse goes wrong, but instead of falling into the cage, michael and adam are shot back in time. something about michaels wings being injured his grace being leeched away so they cant just pop back to their time. michael says he will heal in time hoping it will be quick but. it is not.

~200 years sharing a body on earth. adam grappling with the past and history. michael actually living among humans within a vessel with no big Purpose other than just waiting to heal. building a life over and over again before having to move on before people notice how adam doesn’t age. living through horrible events not being able to change anything. michael thinks god will find them, adam tries increasingly ridiculous ways of contacting the future that never work out. looking for angels who would hopefully help them. something with lily sunder. meeting monsters esp immortal ones. maybe they even meet rowena who knows. reaching the year kate milligan was born.

eventually realizing like. what would they even do when they got back to their present? both of them are entirely changed, different, faithless. neither of them even have something to get back to. over a hundred years waiting only to realize they weren’t waiting for anything, really.

and i think it ends oh somewhere still a while before their present but it’s chuck decides he wants to use michael so he heals his wings and his grace and they only want to use it to travel within the past but chuck pulls them to 2019. still missing a decade. this time michael doesn’t go back to chuck in the end because he spent all that time with humanity and doesn’t see how destroying them could be in any way good. and from there? no idea. happily ever after or whatever.

94 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

#4

See the full post

96 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#3

thinking of all the different types of soulmate aus i loved in my youth and their midam potential.

everything u draw shows up on them? adam doodling on his arm and in heaven everyones like um michael there is. i think thats a flower? allll up in u.

seeing in black and white until you meet your soulmate? the first time adam sees color is when he looks at michaels true form and then immediately hes in the cage for a thousand years. something something dreamscape in his memories all black and white even though he Should be able to see color vs michaels angel memories being his only exposure to a colorful world.

telepathy? adams twirling his hair trying to mind flirt with his soulmate and michael’s like. just another prayer !! why is it so loud. hush, little human, pray a little quieter

timer on the wrist? adam dies before it runs out but it keeps going in heaven he thinks he’ll meet them there and then he’s too wrapped up in yk. being tortured and abandoned and possessed to realize it ran out. (could it be bobby or something? why would it be him. well who else did i meet before you dragged me down here?)

stop aging until you meet your soulmate? adam has a nifty excuse for why he looks like hes 19 (but not for why he vanished for 10 years) and michael worries that he’ll prevent adam from knowing he’s met his soulmate so he makes himself a new body and adam immediately starts aging.

body swap for a day? oh baby. adam wakes up and he’s suddenly an incomprehensible being who is expected to Literally Run Heaven but he’s honestly a little more stressed out about the fact that apparently GOD (or his stand-in) is gonna be taking his finals that day. can only hope god knows how to do calculus.

100 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#2

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101 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

adam has never heard of one direction. went to hell Months before they formed and missed the entire heyday. that’s the worst part about his time in the cage i think

140 notes - Posted February 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#ah the old queue tag. got sick of that real quick #and my longest tag… michaelwave… #also. that’s 3970 more than last year! yeah girl i didnt have this blog last year. thanks for the reminder that i made the conscious choice #to get into spn in 2022 tho.

[wkemeup]

Play Pretend (II)

summary: In the aftermath of Munich, Bucky struggles to go back to how things were before. But now that he knows how it is to love you, he's not sure he can. pairing: bucky x reader word count: 5.8k warnings: smut (18+), mutual pining idiots a/n: here is the final part! make sure you catch up at part 1 first! gif by @crispychrissy

Bucky couldn’t get the image out of his head for days after the mission in Munich. Pictures of you laying so beautifully beneath him, the slight curve of your lips as a moan slipped past, skin so soft it begged to be touched and soothed and worshiped. He couldn’t let go of how you sounded, how you cried out his name or the gentle whimpers spoken so sweetly against his ear. He couldn’t stop craving you wrapped so tightly around him, your hands caressing down his arms, his back, his shoulders, your unbridged desire to touch every part of him, even the parts he despised.

Memories that found him in his sleep in the early hours of the morning, in the shower when his legs were weak and tired, at the breakfast table when you strolled in wearing a t-shirt down to your thighs and the evident curve of your breasts bare beneath the fabric.

Bucky tried to push the thoughts away. He tried to stop thinking of what happened in that cold, abandoned Hydra base. He tried to bury that longing somewhere deep, somewhere he’d never be bothered by it again. But it always came back in the image of you in that cell.

It plagued him. It taunted him.

He wanted more.

He didn’t know how to admit it. Not to himself, and certainly not to you. So, he did his best to suffocate those feelings, those cravings for something real, but they still found their way to the surface.

They spilled over on movie nights with the team and Bucky would find himself inching closer to you, in the gym when he took just a second longer to lift his weight from your body after a winded match that ended on the surface of the mat, on walks around the compound when he found himself wanting to capture your hand in his own as your fingers brushed by.

Those feelings slipped from his smothering hold on missions when he watched your back far more than his own, when he’d missed an obvious target in an attempt to clear your enemy line and ended up catching three bullets himself. He lost composure whenever you didn’t respond on coms or when you’d stumble back onto the quinjet with an injury you’d been hiding. He dove headfirst into fires and threw his body up as a shield and spent every night in agony wondering if you knew that he’d give his whole life to you if you’d asked.

It made him stupid. It made him reckless. It might actually get him killed.

But it hadn’t started in Munich. No, that was just the catalyst of it all. Bucky had loved you long before that drug infiltrated his system and left the two of you in an impossible position. He’d managed to keep his feelings at bay for years; hiding behind quick witted jokes and friendly banter and a genuine friendship and it had been enough. Honest, it had.

Only, now he knew what it was like to be with you. He caught a taste of what it would be like to make love to you and he didn’t know if he could ever forget and move on. It had been weeks since Munich and it still felt like it happened yesterday.

He had to do something to keep it from consuming him, even if it broke your heart. Even if it broke his, too.

***

“What the hell do you mean you can’t work with Y/n anymore?”

Steve groaned, pinching at the bridge of his nose. It had been a long day of debriefing with about a dozen agents making demands he was unwilling to compromise on. This, separating his best team, was among them.

“It’s just not a good idea, Steve,” Bucky said, arms folded tightly over his chest as he watched Steve pace relentlessly down the conference room.

“That’s ridiculous, Buck.” Steve slumped into the chair beside his friend. “You two are the best insurgent team I have.”

“Just trust me. You’ve seen how I’ve been in the field lately. I can’t keep a straight head around her, okay? Not after—” Bucky clenched his jaw, turning away.

Steve sighed, hanging his head. “You ever gonna tell me what happened in Munich?”

Bucky’s lip was chewed raw; scars over broken wounds, teeth digging into painful cracks. It was a nasty habit he picked up after Munich. He wasn’t used to this kind of nervousness; a deep and unsettling feeling churned to stone in the pit of his stomach.

“Reassign me, Steve,” Bucky asked again, firmer. He could feel Steve’s eyes burning on him, tracing every inch of his face, searching for a tell, but he wouldn’t find one. Bucky was trained better than that. He knew to keep his features cold, stoned, even if his heart was pounding against his chest. He wondered it Steve could hear it, too.

The silence hung heavy in the air.

“Alright,” Steve finally conceded. He shook his head reluctantly. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Bucky sighed a breath of relief, the weight of months filled with a longing he couldn’t tame and painful twist in his heart slipping from him in seconds. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.” Steve stood up from his chair, gathered the papers from the desk and made his way to the door. He paused just at the frame, turned around slowly to find Bucky had relaxed a little too much for his liking and added, “you’re going to be the one to tell her.”

“What?” Bucky scrambled out of his chair, nearly losing his footing and all composure as he stood to face Steve.

“You’ve been partners for years,” Steve shot back tensely. “She’s had your back on countless missions, saved your life on more than one occasion, and—come on, Buck— you guys are friends! The two of you spend every day together, even when you’re benched! You don’t want to give me an explanation? Fine. But you sure as hell owe her one.”

Bucky shook his head rapidly, hands clenching at the fraying edges of his t-shirt. “Steve, I—”

“Just talk to her,” Steve said, a heavy disappointment lingering in his voice. His lips parted, as if there were more he wanted to say, but decided against it. He hung his head, pat Bucky firmly on his shoulder, and left.

***

Had he always been able to hear his own heartbeat like this?

It was pounding in his ears, thunderous, deafening, and he swore just about everyone else on the floor could its thumping as he approached your room.

The door was open ajar with a small glimmer of sunlight streaming out into the dimly lit hallway. You were singly quietly to yourself – humming, maybe – as you sat on the edge of your bed, staring down onto your phone. You didn’t seem to notice him at the door. He knocked.

Your head popped up, surprised at the sudden intrusion and your eyes only narrowed upon finding it was Bucky standing below the doorframe. You looked at him for a moment before you turned back to your phone without saying another word.

He deserved that.

“Can I come in?” Bucky asked sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. He was still staring into the room through the small slit in the door.

You shrugged. “Depends. Are you still avoiding me?”

A sharp sting burned in his chest as Bucky tried to unclench his jaw. Truthfully, he had been avoiding you for days now. Ever since he made up his mind to ask for a reassignment. It didn’t matter if Steve shipped him off to Alaska or the Amazons or out into space with the goddamn raccoon; all he knew was that every minute he spent beside you was agony and he needed to get away from it – away from you – before it consumed him whole.

None of that was your fault. You didn’t know why he was suddenly too busy to spar on your usual weekdays or join the team for movie nights. He never told you why he suddenly started pulling away, cutting off all contact as if you hadn’t been friends for years before Munich.

“I’ve got something important to talk to you about,” Bucky replied, clearing his throat.

You sat up, sitting the phone down by your side as you recognized the tone in his voice. Clinical. Mission oriented. Business. He didn’t want it to sound so cold, but he wasn’t sure he could do this if it wasn’t.

Bucky stepped into the room, prying the door open gently with a slow squeak on its hinges as he closed it behind him. He’d been in your room dozens of times before, but somehow, in this moment, it felt like an invasion of privacy, like he wasn’t supposed to be there.

He took a deep breath, trying to keep focus. He took a few steps forward and gingerly sat on the edge of your bed, keeping careful distance as he wrung at his hands in his lap.

“I’m being reassigned.”

You furrowed your brow. He could practically hear your heart skip a beat.

“What? No. They can’t do that!” You shook your head, determined. There were traces of disbelief on your face – anger, too. Your hands gripped tightly into the sheets at your sides. “They can’t just reassign you, Buck. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Y/n, you don’t understand,” he started to say, but you were already on your feet, pacing around the room. It was how you calmed yourself when your thoughts were racing too fast. The stabbing pain in Bucky’s chest only seemed to dig deeper.

“I know the field has been messy lately, but that happens to everyone! They can’t split us up because of a few extra trips to the med bay,” you argued, wearing trenches into the carpet of your bedroom. You stopped abruptly. “Who gave the order? Steve? Tony? I’ll take this up with Fury if I have to, okay? I won’t let them—”

“Y/n, stop. Please.” Bucky hung his head. His right hand was red as his left clasped and tugged at the skin. He couldn’t find the courage to meet your eye but he could tell from the way you stilled that you knew what he was about to say. “It was me. I asked for reassignment.”

It didn’t seem to hurt any less though because your stance still faltered. It was barely noticeable, not to the human eye, but Bucky’s sensed were advanced thanks to his time in Hydra. He saw the way your body weight shifted just slightly, how your breath caught in your chest, the slight flicker of your eyes. Shock. Betrayal. Hurt.

“You said it yourself,” Bucky reasoned, trying to find excuses where there were none, “there’s been too many ER trips lately. I keep getting hurt.”

“Because you insist on using your body as human shield, Buck!” you retorted, arms flung out to the sides. “Just knock that off and we’ll be fine!”

Bucky shook his head, his lips curling ever so slightly though it didn’t touch his eyes. “It’s not that simple.”

“Of course, it is!” you argued. You started pacing again. “Don’t be an idiot, Barnes. I’m not losing my partner. Go tell them you were joking or concussed and not thinking straight!”

“I’m not going to do that.” Bucky clenched his jaw. His right hand was starting to lose feeling from how tightly he was gripping it.

Why couldn’t you make this easy on him? You were supposed to be angry with him for ignoring you for the last week. You were angry with him and yet you still fought for him. He couldn’t make sense of it.

The pacing stopped again, though this time it came in slow, like a realization that found its way piece by piece until it melded into a visible image.

“Was it something I did?”

Bucky jumped up to his feet, instinctively wanting to walk towards you but you held your ground. He froze, standing several feet away.

“No,” he said firmly. “God no. You didn’t do anything wrong, Y/n.”

“Then what?” You raised your arms out to the side in question. “We’ve been partners for years, Bucky. I’ve relied on you all that time to have my back, to keep me alive out there, and—and—” you groaned rather loudly, “you’re my best friend! You can’t just up and decide you’re done with me and move on!”

Bucky frowned. “That’s not what this is.”

You shook your head, arms folding tightly over your chest protectively. “Sure feels like it.”

The silence between you was unbearable. Bucky didn’t have a good excuse. You were right to be angry with him. He was abandoning you. He was a coward. He was running away from a painful situation to avoid facing it head on because he was terrified to lose you. Though, as you pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes, pulling them away a moment later to find a soft glisten of reflection in their wake, Bucky started to wonder that were already true.

“Oh God,” you exhaled, a heavy realization in your voice as you turned to him. Your shoulders slumped. “This is because of Munich, isn’t it?”

Bucky flinched. He tried not to, but you noticed. A look of absolute devastation crossed your features as your lips parted, sinking down onto your bed.

“I knew things were different after that mission. I mean, how could they not be?” You leaned over against your thighs, letting your hair fall down to shield your face where Bucky could not see. “I crossed a line. I shouldn’t have given in. You couldn’t consent with that shit running through your veins. Not really. So— fuck – I completely understand if you can’t be around me after I—”

“That’s not what happened,” Bucky interjected sharply, shaking himself from the fear coursing through him as he crossed the room to you. He knelt down beside your bed and waited patiently for you to lift your head and let the curtain of hall fall away from your face. “I could have fought it. It hurt like hell, but I would have survived it even if we… if we hadn’t…”

He let his voice trail off, his cheeks turning a slight side of pink. He sighed. “The point... is that I wanted to. I really wanted to. And that’s the problem.”

You narrowed your eyes, confused.

Was he really going to tell you? Wasn’t this what he had been trying to avoid? Throwing away years of friendship to confess deeper feelings he was all but sure you’d never reciprocate?

But there was something about the way you were looking at him. With tears glistening in your eyes and a grief he couldn’t quite place nestled into the lines on your forehead, Bucky began to wonder if walking away would give him any relief at all. He wasn’t sure he could ever leave this room again if you were left blaming yourself for his crimes.

Bucky slowly placed his right hand on your knee, rubbing his thumb gently along the dimple. Your eyes followed his movements, watching curiously until he found the courage to speak.

“We’ve been partners for a while,” he started, clearing his voice when it came out shaken. You nodded. “I feel like sometimes I know what you’re thinking just by looking at you and when we’re out in the field, even in the middle of chaos, it’s like you can tell what I’m doing before I actually figure it out myself. We’re really good together. Out there. It’s hard to find that these days.”

You didn’t say anything and for that, he was grateful. He needed to get this out before he shut down completely.

“I think we only got that good because we’re… uhm… we’re close, you know?” Bucky took a deep breath, releasing his grip on your knee when he realized he’d started to squeeze it a little too hard. Your hand was sitting on your thigh, but you’d inched it closer to his, enough so the tips of your fingers overlapped onto his.

“We’re friends.” Bucky paused at the term, deciding it wasn’t strong enough. “It’s more than that though. I trust you with things I wouldn’t even tell Steve. You were the first person I felt like I could be myself around. Not the Bucky that Steve remembers or the one Hydra manipulated. This one. Whatever that means.”

Your whole hand covered his now, as much as it would allow. He glanced up to find your fingers curling under his, a slight squeeze to tell him you were still listening. He exhaled another breath and the pressure in his chest felt a little lighter.

“What happened in Munich didn’t awaken anything or… or open my eyes to something I didn’t know was there,” Bucky continued, his eyes trained on your legs, unable to find the courage to face you. “I’ve known how I felt about you for a long time. I was okay with it. I learned to live with it and manage it because being your friend and being your partner was too important to lose. But…”

He felt your hands squeeze his again.

“But after Munich… I don’t know how to go back. I don’t think I can.” Bucky didn’t dare to meet your eye. He could feel the words slipping past his lips before he had a chance to pull them back in. A waterfall of confessions he couldn’t hope to control. “It’s why I’ve been so reckless in the field, why I keep ending up in the med wing. I can’t shove it down anymore and it punctures me right through the goddamn heart when I see you surrounded by armed agents or when there’s a weapon aimed at you and my instinct is to run towards you. Screw what happens to me.

“I know you’re good at your job,” Bucky stressed, shaking his head. “I know you can handle yourself and you don’t need me to protect you but… but I want to. I want to keep you safe and hold your hand when you’re getting stitches and curl up beside you at night just so I can remind myself you’re real when the nightmares get the better of me. I want… I want more than I should.”

He could hear the skip in your heartbeat, how it gradually picked up in pace the longer he spoke. Your breathing was shorter, too. Shallower. Bucky was certain it was all confirmation of the story he’d been telling himself for years.

“This… How I feel… It’s not good for us. As friends. As partners. I’m trying to do us a favor and just remove myself from the equation.”

Bucky still had yet to meet your eye. He’d turned to examining every detail he could find on the fabric of your sleep shorts, in the sheets you sat upon, in the divots and dimples and blemishes on your thighs. He wasn’t sure he’d have the resolve to leave if he looked at your face.

Several beats of silence passed by and Bucky wondered how it was possible you hadn’t lashed out at him yet. He expected you to be angry for driving a wedge between you with something as reckless as love and affection. He expected you to turn your shoulder, reject him for everything he was, because it was one thing to befriend the Winter Soldier, another entirely to love him.

Bucky slowly rose back to his feet, letting his hand slip away from your knee and your gentle hold on him fell away. He mistook your silence for acceptance, maybe even agreement. He cleared his throat, starting to back up towards the door.

“So, um,” Bucky said nervously, trying to fill the silence in his escape, “that’s why. I hope you can forgive me some day for all of this. I’ll, uh, I’ll go.”

Bucky barely had his hand on the knob when he heard the soft squeak of your mattress springs as you rose to your feet.

“You’re wrong.”

The sound of your voice startled him, enough to get him to look back at you before he could stop himself. Your hands were clenched at your sides, eyes red with tears, bottom lip chewed raw.

“Y/n, I—”

“You’re wrong,” you said again, almost angry and somehow that was a relief. It would make it easier for him to leave if you were angry, but you had different plans. “You’re wrong if you think you’re doing me some kind of favor by leaving.”

Tears were on your cheeks now and Bucky’s stomach lurched. This wasn’t what he wanted. This was agony.

He took a step closer to you. “You have to trust me, it’s not a good idea for us to—”

“You’re wrong,” you continued, cutting him off again as you rubbed at the tears under your eyes. “You’re wrong to assume that I don’t feel the exact fucking way about you and—and if you leave, Bucky, I swear to God it will kill me.”

Bucky froze. His heart stopped beating completely, might have plunged down through his stomach, broken through the floorboards and buried itself into molten lava and dirt, because of all the things he was expecting you to say, that was not one of them.

“Don’t do this,” you implored, voice a little broken, barely above a whisper. “Please don’t go.”

Bucky was at a loss. He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t prepared for this. He never even considered you might beg him to stay, that you might feel for him in the way he felt for you. It never once crossed his mind. It felt like a dream.

“I miss you.” Your voice was so small and still, it nearly tore him straight in half. “I miss how we used to be. I miss seeing you smile and your stupid jokes at the most inappropriate times in the field.” You laughed to yourself, under your breath, and even through the tears it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard. But you sighed, the smile falling away. “I miss you when you’re not here. All the time. So much it hurts. I feel like I’m going out of my mind when I’m not with you. You’re my best friend, but I… I also… I miss Munich.”

Bucky’s eyes widened and you only caught a glimpse of him for a second before your face was in your hands, trying to shield yourself from him.

“I know it’s wrong,” you murmured, muffled by your palms. “I know it’s not right to miss a moment when you were in pain and made to feel something you didn’t ask for, but… I think about it a lot and... how much I want more.”

Stunned silence. Throat dry. Heart pounding.

“What are you saying?” Bucky finally found the courage to ask.

You lifted your head, finally meeting his eye and there was a relief there as you looked up at him. Your shoulders eased. A soft smile returned to your lips and it nearly melted him completely.

“The same thing you are, I think.”

He swallowed. “Oh.”

Bucky watched, near frozen, as you crossed the room, bare feet padding softly over the carpet until you were only inches from him. The space between you closing as your hands slid up his arms, resting against his shoulders, cupping at the sides of his face, just observing, just feeling. There was no venom in his veins and yet, Bucky felt electrified under your touch. His heart stammered in his chest as your fingers wove at the strands of hair at the base of his neck.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” you told him and he wondered for a moment if he stopped breathing entirely. "No Hydra chemicals. No foreign influence. Just us, okay? You and me.”

Bucky nodded, a little stunned.

Slowly, you inched up closer to him, your eyes drawing closed until you were a breath from his lips. Just barely grazing upon his own, waiting, and Bucky let his hands slid up against your back, tugging you closed against him, and captured your lips in his own.

It was different than the first time in Munich, less rushed, less desperate, but instead filled with a longing that had spanned years between you, coated in affection and heartache and need for one another beyond anything a serum in a lab could fabricate.

Your hands wove into his hair, his arms pressing you firm against his chest, and it was like you were holding onto him for dear life. Your feet began to carry the two of you backwards, dragging Bucky towards the bed, and you yelped as your knees caught on the edge of the mattress, sending the two of you spiraling onto the bed.

“You alright?” Bucky laughed, brushing away the hair in your eyes as he propped himself up on his elbows caged around your shoulders; most of his weight laying upon you in the sweetest comfort of pressure.

“I'm perfect,” you replied, bright smiles and joy radiating from every pore. It was contagious.

“We can stop here, if you want,” Bucky offered sincerely. He was riding a high he never thought he’d ever experience and anything you’d be willing to share with him was a gift within itself. He’d kiss you for hours if you’d let him.

“And if I don’t want to stop?” you questioned, staring up at him with a hunger in your eyes. Your fingers trailed down his t-shirt, dancing around the hem of the fabric at his hips. “If I wanted to keep going... If I wanted you...?”

“I’m yours, sweetheart.”

A simple answer. A true one. He’d never been more certain of anything in his life.

Bucky knelt back, tugged on the fabric of his shirt between his shoulder blades and pulled it over his head. You watching him as he tossed it to the corner of the room before he settled back down against you. Your hands ran along the lines of his muscles, over the scars and imperfections, and for once, Bucky didn’t shy away from the hands of a woman. It didn’t feel like a twist to his gut, he didn’t hold his breath. No – instead, it felt renewing, healing almost.

His hands slid under the waist of your shirt, inching it higher as he rand his touch along the curves of your sides, until you leaned up for him to help remove the fabric. It joined his shirt at the edge of the room.

Perfect and bare. Stunning in your nakedness. A privilege he never thought he’d be granted.

“You want to take a picture or...?” you teased him, noticing how long he’d been staring at you.

Bucky laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t temp me. Besides, I’m hoping I won’t need a picture to see you like this again.”

“Definitely not,” you confirmed, tugging him down to meet your lips again.

It was laced in smiled and laughter and ages of holding back from one another all rolled into one. A freedom of taking your time, of enjoying one another, and learning to memorize your bodies. Bucky would have wondered if he were dreaming if not for the way you wrapped your legs around his waist, grinding against his hardening cock – no dream could produce a feeling like that.

With his lips on your neck, Bucky played with the hem of your shorts, waiting until you lifted your hips just enough to give him the access to slid them down your legs, removing the last remaining fabric along with it.

Bucky kissed his way down your body, mapping a trail from your neck, to the hills of your breasts, to your ribs, to the comfort of cushion at your stomach, to the crevices at your legs and inner thighs. He paused for a moment, setting his cheek against your thigh as he drew his fingers between your lips, separating them to give access to the sweetest parts of you.

You flinched a little as he touched your clit, a gasp emitting from your lips as your hands curled into the sheets. Bucky grinned, encouraged by your reaction as he began to circle the pads of his fingers at your entrance. Listening for the subtle changes in your breath, the moans the slipped past, and the curl of your fingers, Bucky leaned in and wrapped his lips around your clit.

“F-fuck, Bucky,” you whined, hands snaking into his hair and gripping tight against his scalp.

He smiled at the feeling, at the way you cried his name, and he pressed his slicked fingers inside of you. Perhaps it was the haze of the foreign chemicals the last time he had you under him like this, but he didn’t remember you being so vocal, so sensitive to his touch. It was a rush and he had to keep himself from rutted up against the mattress as added a third finger, curling them just enough and massaging at the walls as they squeezed tight around him.

Tongue lapping at the wetness, sucking around the sensitive bud of nerves, fingers perfectly drawing out the high as it built at your core, it only took moments before you crashed. You cried out his name, legs wrestling against him in the sensitivity as he drew out the feeling as long as he could, moving slower and slower until you stilled under him.

“Fuck,” you exhaled, a laugh entranced in your voice.

Bucky grinned, pleased with himself as he crawled his way back up the bed to meet your lips. He didn’t bother to wipe the remnants of your high from his mouth and you didn’t seem to mind as you kissed him, certainly tasting yourself upon his lips, and it only made him want you more.

“You’re turn,” you smirked, trying to slide out from under him as you licked your lips, but Bucky held you down.

“Next time, okay?” he countered and you sunk back into the mattress with a pout on your lips. “I don’t think I can last if you get your mouth on me.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” you teased, running your fingers down his stomach until he began to shiver.

“Yes,” he chuckled, swatting your hands away playfully. He winked. “I’m gonna die if I don’t have you right now.”

“Jesus, Buck, don’t even joke,” you laughed, hiding your face in your hands.

“Hey, someone's gotta,” Bucky grinned as he tugged down his pants, kicking them off to land amongst the rest of the discarded clothing. “If it got me here, I’ll happily make light of a fucked up Hydra breeding experiment.”

“Would you have told me if it hadn’t happened?” you asked, voice a little softer, peering out from behind your hands.

Bucky stilled, his grin falling into something gentler and he shrugged. “Don’t know if I ever would have had the courage. I never thought we’d be here. Never could have imagined you’d feel the same way.” He leaned down to press a kiss to your shoulder. “Would you have said anything?”

“I don’t think I really knew until you threatened to walk away,” you admitted.

“Well,” Bucky sighed, pressing a trail of kissed along your collarbone as he settled between your legs, his length pressing against your thigh, “good thing I’m not going anywhere.”

“Better not,” you murmured against his lips as you drew his mouth to yours.

Then, as he felt the hitch of your breath against his lips, he sank into you. Stretching walls and guiding your legs to wrap at his waist to offer an angle that left your jaw slacked. Your eyes fluttered closed, lips parted, and Bucky felt a rush unlike anything he’d ever experienced. Even through the smoke filled haze of that serum in Munich, he’d never felt an ounce of the relief as he did in this moment. To be completely and entirely yours.

He felt you squeeze at his shoulders, urging him to move, and slowly, he rocked his hips against you. Slow and steady. Needy. Until your nails dug into his spine and Bucky couldn’t prolong the tender build up any longer.

Chasing and chasing; higher and higher. Bucky could tell you were close from how tight your walls were clenched around him. It took near everything he had not to come on the spot, but he held on, waiting, watching as your lips parted, as the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard slipped past, and you cried out his name.

“Oh fuck—fuck—Bucky, don’t stop.” Your breath was hot against his cheek. “I’m so close. I’m—ah—”

A hitch in your breath and your whole body seemed to fall slack. It only spurred him on. Hips snapped, fingers rubbing quick circles at your clit, until you were whining and shaking under him, until he was satisfied with the blissful look on your face and he let himself go.

He spilled into you, rutting his hips in a few final, lazy thrusts as he sank into the crook of your neck, panting. Dizzy and content, riding a high that extended beyond his body, Bucky hummed into your collarbone as he felt your nails draw patterns along his back in gentle sweeps. It tingled on his skin, send shivers along his spine, and he never wanted it to stop.

“Hey, Y/n?”

You paused, just for a moment, before you resumed tracing the lines on his back, over muscles and scars alike. “Yes, Bucky?”

He could hear the teasing in your voice, the light-hearted laugh, the warmth that made him fall in love with you and his heart clenched. He wrapped his arms under your shoulders, the full weight of his body still pressing you down to the mattress, still buried inside of you.

“Promise me this is real.” An embarrassment crept up as he said it, though the drawing on his back didn’t skip a beat. “You and me. I’m not dreaming or stuck in my head. This is real, right?”

Your hands slid up along his shoulders to his neck, and then to the sides of his face as you guided him off your chest to meet your eye; more beautiful than he’d ever seen you, with a glimmer of sweat and an afterglow radiating in the smile lifting your cheeks.

“This is real, honey,” you told him, leaning in to kiss him sweetly on the lips.

“Okay. Okay, good.” Bucky grinned, cheeks flushed in heat. He settled back against your chest, resting his cheek to your heart as you resumed drawing the lazy patterns on his back.

Perfectly content.

Warm. Safe.

Home.

---

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me at my ko-fi account ✨

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut

[christowhore]

Redeeming Myself

pairing: chris evans x professor!fem!reader

summary: after breaking your heart and losing your trust, chris makes it his mission to prove to you how much you mean to him.

word count: 6.3k

warnings: age gap (reader is 29, chris is 40), angst, reminiscing on past actions, fluff, talks with therapist, chris makes up for bad behavior, slight alcohol consumption, smut, happy endings, rpf !!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!!

notes: the final installment of Pining for Professor. it was only supposed to be a one shot, but i got inspired and expanded it. it took a while cause writers block, but it’s here. for anyone who has read the series, thank you and hope you enjoy ! 💓🥰

i do not allow the reposting, rewriting or translating of my fics. these are works of my own and i do not give permission for any of the acts stated above.

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SERIES MASTERLIST • MAIN MASTERLIST

For a month and a half following that afternoon, Chris began to go above and beyond to mend his mistakes in an effort to regain your trust.

He knew that he shouldn’t have been forgiven for the hurtful words he hurled at you, the voice he raised, and his cold demeanor through it all. But you forgave him nonetheless, which he was eternally grateful for.

Chris suspected that his venom-laced words still took a toll on your overall being. He sensed it in the way your usual humming was kept to a minimum, as did your soft caresses to his body. The fun facts that you would randomly blurt out had basically become nonexistent.

You hadn’t tried initiating sex with Chris due to still being affected by his actions, which was understandable to the brunette.

He could tell you were being cautious around him, which broke his heart more than he could’ve imagined.

The two of you never really talked in depth about what happened, deciding to push it under the rug and move past it. But ignoring the elephant in the room could only last for so long.

That morning was no different. He had spent the night at your place and decided to wake up and make you breakfast in an effort to mend the faltering relationship.

You woke up to an empty bed, something that you were used to since Chris had always been an early riser. Getting your morning routine out the way, you made your descent downstairs with the smell of pesto guiding you down the steps.

Walking into the kitchen, you saw the sight of your topless boyfriend, donning only a pair of boxers and an apron. You watched as he studiously focused on the skillet in front of him. His intense focus and the sounds of eggs frying in the pan made him oblivious to your arrival.

It wasn’t until you made your way towards the fridge next to him, that he registered your presence. “Morning princess, you sleep well.”

“Yeah, I slept fine,” your voice still a bit gravely from your slumber. You poured yourself a glass of orange juice, ignoring the intense gaze from Chris in your peripheral vision.

He was so used to having you touch him in the mornings. Not so much in a sexual way, but more intimately. The way your lips would ghost against his shoulder blade, your palms would hold his sides and pull him against you so that way you could bask in his warmth. Your arms would wrap around his front until your fingers absentmindedly toyed with his lower abdomen, playing with the wisps of hair on his happy trail.

He missed when you would move your lips until they met the space behind his ears, giving light open mouth kisses. The sound of you whispering ‘Morning daddy’ would leave him awestruck. Even though the words were a regular occurrence for him to hear, it was the way you would say it in your morning voice that made it ten times more special.

Though those actions might seem minuscule to others, they meant the world to him and it was killing him that he hadn’t been able to experience such tender moments with you in a while.

“I’m making breakfast- pesto eggs and some bacon for you. It’ll be done in a minute.”

You nodded along before heading to the table, phone in hand while catching up on your morning news.

It didn’t take long before a steaming plate was placed in front of you, the scent of garlic and basil already making you salivate.

Chris sat besides you and watched as you dug a fork into your meal, a smile reaching his face as he heard your content moans.

The two of you ate in silence, only the sound of soft chewing and utensils hitting your respective plates could be heard.

Every so often, you would feel Chris peek at you, hoping for you to start up a conversation with him like you always did. It’s not like you didn’t want to, it was just that you were still hurting due to his words. You know from a psychological standpoint that there was something going on inside of him that caused him to lash out, which you understood. But it didn’t aid in diminishing your apprehensiveness towards opening up to him, afraid that another fight would break out and hurtful words would again be hurled.

He could sense the internal struggle battling within you so he spoke up, breaking you out from your subconscious.

“I know I’ve been saying this repeatedly over the past few weeks, but I want you to know how sorry I am,” Chris sympathetically stated, “You didn’t deserve what I put you through, the things I said. I just hope that we're able to someday go back to how we were.”

You sat there staring at the man in front of you. Was there a way that the two of you can revert to what once was? Could you actually forgive him?

Not knowing how to properly respond, you simply nodded. A tight lipped smile was evidence that Chris had a lot of making up to do.

Finishing up breakfast, you excused yourself to your office to go and work on your dissertation, leaving the brunette alone with his thoughts.

He knew that he needed to do something big to make up for his actions. He also knew that he needed to figure out why he lashed out on you.

Taking out his phone, he clicked on a saved contact and listened to the dial tone ring in his ear.

“Morning, I’d like to make an appointment as soon as possible. It’s an emergency.”

Chris sat on the plush maroon couch, his eyes getting reacquainted with the familiar setting. The office had a few knick knacks littered around the space. A potted plant here and there. Motivational, yet cheesy posters on the wall. An assortment of magazines on the coffee table.

He hadn’t been here in a while, his usual talks were about his anxiety and dealing with fame. But for this appointment it was about you- specifically how he treated you.

The new topic was foreign to him, resulting in the brunette not knowing how to address it. So he silently sat there as his therapist, Dr. Reynolds, held her pen in her hand and studied his behavior.

“So,” she cautiously started, “What brings you in today?”

Chris sat there twiddling his fingers at her question. There could’ve been a few reasons that brought him in, but the main one was why he said the things he hurled at you.

He proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes recapping the events that had transpired, making sure to not spare any detail. After his spiel, Dr. Reynolds skimmed through her notes that she jotted down during his explanation.

Looking up from her notebook, she locked eyes with the brunette. “Do you think that some of your actions correlate with self-sabotaging behaviors? How, when you opened yourself up to her so suddenly it made you feel scared? Scared that you might need to face those fears that are plaguing you.”

Chris sat there incredulously, “Well- I mean no. I don’t think so.”

The pair talked for over an hour, going over the usual allotted time as they broke down why Chris had acted a certain way.

He realized the anger he felt was a coping mechanism to avoid feeling what he truly felt: fear. Mainly his fear of commitment. Part of him was scared that any future marriage would end up like his parents, in divorce. He feared that you would stop loving him. He feared that he would stop loving you.

And that fear was ultimately pushing you away from him. Which uncovered the biggest fear of all, losing you.

Dr. Reynolds eventually received a knock on her door, indicating a waiting patient, causing their therapy session to be cut and saved for another day.

“Thanks doc, I think I know what I need to do now.”

After some much needed self-reflection made in the meeting with his therapist, Chris knew what he had to do. Leaving the office, he pulled out his phone and dialed his publicist, Megyn.

A few rings later, he went into detail to the blonde about his plan. Not caring about what the press might say, or how his fans might react, he needed to get it done.

She wasn’t too keen on dealing with the impending press that would come from it, but she was happy that he was able to find someone that he truly loved.

He went back to your place that evening with a refreshed mind. The rest of the day went by as usual, you both did your own respective things, the tension still heavy in the air.

As you both started on your own night routine, his main focus was on you. He didn’t even know he stopped brushing and was staring until you snapped your fingers in front of his eyes.

“Earth to Chris, everything alright?” your tone was light and airy, hinted with a bit of joy.

Chris looked at the slight smile on your face and was reminded all over again as to why he fell for you. That smile was something that was so ingrained in his mind that not even old age could make him forget it. It warmed his entire being whenever he was sad and it made him realize he could never take it off your face for the rest of his days.

“Yeah princess,” he whispered, still lost in you, “I’m alright.”

You nodded along to him, though your eyes squinted a bit due to being curious of his change in demeanor. Before he was overly cautious around you, now it seemed as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

Before you could set your toothbrush down and set out for bed, he stopped you with a hand on your elbow, pulling you into him. Not caring that there were still dribbles of toothpaste in his mouth, he leant down and attached his lips to yours.

The kiss was soft, he was desperate to feel your softness against him though wasn’t trying to rush the act in any way. Moving his hand up, he held onto your cheek in an effort to pull you even closer than you already are.

The smell of your lavender night cream instantly calmed him, making him feel safe in your embrace and absentmindedly smiling into the kiss.

Chris finally pulled away, only slightly, to look down on you with a dopey grin. “God I’m in love with you.”

For the first time in weeks, a genuine smile reached your face to match the man across from you.

“I love you too love bug,” you sighed against his lips, “You probably should’ve rinsed your mouth though, I can taste your toothpaste.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, “Sorry, just got caught up in the moment.”

Chris kept you secured in his arms as he continued to stare down at you. There was something different about him, specifically the way his gaze was directed at you. Though you were not complaining.

“How about we bring back date night? I can cook and we can finally sit and talk to one another like we used to.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his pleas. It had been a while since you two sat down and basked in each other’s presence. The thought had you hopeful that things could go back to normal.

“I would love that,” you began, “How about Friday? I have a test for a few of my classes this week so we can do it once I’m all free.”

Chris smiled down at you with eyes evident of his admiration for you, “Friday is perfect.”

The rest of the week went on rather differently than previous ones. Your touches came back to his body, fingertips grazing alongside him whenever he was close. Chris would regularly kiss your cheek or top of your shoulder anytime he had the chance.

You did take notice of him on his phone a lot, part of it filled you with uneasiness but the rational part of your brain told you it wasn’t something to ponder too much over, so you let it go.

Chris had been spending the entire week making sure that his plan was rolling smoothly. He had the entire date night planned to a T. He informed his family about it, who were ecstatic for him, making his own mother tear up due to how happy she was. He made sure to have everything ready at the house so that everything would be successful.

The day of the planned affair, you were stuck in your home office grading the last set of tests before being able to officially clock out for the evening. Inputting the grades into Blackboard, you were brought out of focus due to the sounds of buzzing from your phone. Picking up the device, you unlocked it and saw the incoming text from your boyfriend.

Chris: Baby, I know you’re still probably finishing up, but dinner will be ready at my place at around 7. I put something on your bed for you to wear. See you soon!

The endearing message made you smile and also feel a bit elated. You missed the intimate moments shared between you and Chris. The loving looks sent your way, the delicious food and engaging conversations. But most importantly, you missed the sex. Before, the two of you were like jackrabbits, the longest you both went without getting hot and heavy was about 2 days. Now going on over two months, you were becoming insatiable.

Quickly inputting the final test scores in your online grade book, you got ready for your night in with Chris. Heading up the stairs, you walked into your room to be hit with a bit of nostalgia. Laying on the bed was the same black dress that you wore on your first date with him.

With the amount of dresses you had in your wardrobe, it was a shock that he was able to find the specific one you wore that night. The sentiment warmed your heart and filled you with hope.

Rushing to get ready, you went and got dressed, making sure that you appeared your best before heading out.

It was only a quick drive to his home, before you were sat in his driveway.

Your mind was plagued with worry. You feared that if this night didn’t go well, then it would ultimately mean the end of your relationship with the man. Taking in a deep breath, you calmed your nerves before exiting the vehicle and made the trek towards his front door.

Using the house key you still had attached to your own ring set, you unlocked the door and walked in though you didn’t get far when the sight before you made you stop and gasp.

Starting from the front door laid a trail of rose petals leading you through the house. The thoughtful effort made tears begin to form in your eyes and your breath unsteady.

Following the trail, the same smells of vegetables sautéing brought you back to that time over a year ago.

Once you made it inside the kitchen, you saw Chris with an apron adorning his massive frame on top of his suit. Once he took notice of your arrival he turned around and smiled at you. “There you are sweetheart. I was waiting for you to show.”

He turned down the fire before gliding towards you, about to reach down and kiss you when you beat him to it.

Grabbing a hold of either side of his face, you slammed your lips to his; the action surprising you both. You delivered him repeated pecks which caused the brunette to laugh between every one of your kisses.

Getting enough of your intimate fill, you pulled away from him and looked up. “What’s the special occasion? I mean I know it’s date night, but still.”

Chris brought his hands down to rest on the dip of your back before pulling you in closer to him. The action caused your neck to crane up to look directly into his eyes.

“I wanted to make things right with my best girl.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at the slight Captain America reference before delivering another kiss, “Thank you, I love it.”

The meal went according to plan, the two of you enjoying the same shrimp scampi dish he made on your first date together.

You were sipping on your glass of wine when you heard Chris speak up.

“Though I’ve said it more times than either of us can count, I need you to know how regretful I am of how I acted.”

You sighed at his words, “Chris, I said it’s-”

“No, it’s not okay (Y/N),” he interrupted you, “It wasn’t okay for me to lash out at you. It wasn’t okay for me to hurt your feelings.”

“Tonight, I tried to recreate our first date together to show you just how much you mean to me.”

Chris had rehearsed what he was planning on saying for the past few days, but here now in this moment he couldn’t remember a single prepared line. So he just decided to follow his heart.

“(Y/N). The day I met you, it was one of the greatest days of my life. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but fate brought us together- well I guess I should say Ma did with her insisting.”

His words caused you to chuckle, “I can see where you got your determination. She really didn’t quit until she finally got us in the same room.”

The memory of Lisa bringing you two together that afternoon warmed both of your hearts.

“That day we met was the day I knew that there was no one else in the world that would matter to me as much as you would. Every single day that I get the pleasure of seeing that look on your face will forever make me the luckiest man on the Earth. So when I hurled those words at you and took that smile away, it made me feel horrendous.”

You didn’t even realize you had started crying until you felt the warmth of your tears sliding down your cheeks.

Chris reached across the table and curled his fingers around your hand, slightly stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend that I could be. I realized that my own fears of commitment caused me to take out my frustrations out on you, and absentmindedly pushed you away. But I realized that pushing you away was the last thing I ever wanted to happen.”

He felt his heart rate race and his organ beat heavily in his chest, his anxiety slowly rising.

“You are the greatest thing to happen to me. You make the worst days seem minuscule whenever you’re around. I love the way you’re able to always help push me through any obstacle I face, no matter how big or small it may be. The way you easily get along with my crazy family. And I love how you make me feel like I am floating on cloud nine anytime I kiss you.”

Chris felt his hands begin to sweat. One of his hands clasped onto yours, while the other held onto the small box in his left pocket of his slacks.

“A few days ago I had a session with my therapist about you. And during it I realized how much I care about you, and how losing you, even though it was brief, was the worst thing I had ever experienced.”

Slowly standing up on shaky legs, he brought you up with him.

“I had to secretly figure out the right size while you were sleeping the other night,” he began to joke, “You don’t know how hard it was to get the measurement done considering how light of a sleeper you are.”

You felt your heart pound in your chest. You suspected that something was different about his behavior and this evening, and your suspicions were slowly coming to light.

“I can’t ever experience the feeling of not having you by my side again. Waking up to a cold bed and not seeing the way your nose would sometimes crunch up while you're deep in a dream is something I never want to go through again.”

Chris reached into his pocket of his pants and pulled out a cherry red box. The sight of the gold inscription labeling 'Cartier' made your breath catch in your throat and tears fall freely down your face.

The height difference was changed when he steadily dropped down on his left knee, his tear filled blue eyes looking up at you.

“(Y/N), you make me the happiest man in the world. And I know it’s a stereotypical line for me to say, but it’s true. I love how you’re able to bring the best out of me and everyone around you. I love how you love everyone unconditionally. God, I love how fucking breathtaking you are. I am in love with everything about you.”

Letting go of your hand, he held the box in his grasp before cracking it open. The action caused your hands to cover your mouth and you to bend at the knees. With the aid of the lights around the room, it unveiled to you a marquise cut diamond. One either side were two stones. On the left was a pearl, indicating his June birthstone. The other side showed your gemstone, the rocks pairing perfectly with one another.

“So,” Chris began with a shaky breath, “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you do me the honor and make me the luckiest person in the world. Will you marry me?”

Your body shook with sobs as you nodded along to his question.

“Wait, are you saying yes?” Chris asked, excitement evident in his tone. “I don’t know if that’s you nodding yes or no.”

Removing your hands from your face you grasped on to your now fiancé’s, “Yes, I would love to marry you.”

Chris didn’t even get the chance to put the ring on you before raising up and slamming his lips against yours. Both of you tasting the salty tears that expelled from the other.

It was his turn to lay a continuous stream of kisses to your lips. Soft chants of ‘thank you’ leaving his mouth between every one.

Pulling away, he retrieved the ring from its box as you held up your left hand. You watched as he slid the band down your finger until it situated perfectly against the base. A content sigh left the both of you.

Chris brought your hand up and kissed the back of it and then your ring finger before locking eyes with you.

You two stayed like that for a while, your gaze flicking back and forth between each other’s lips until finally you two connected them.

This time, the embrace was intimate, more passion filled. Your hands folded against the nape of his neck, the coolness of the gold band making him smile with contentment.

With his hands holding onto your hips, he guided you back until you were met with resistance from the wall behind you; the sudden force causing you to lightly grunt into his mouth.

Lowering his hands until his palms rested on the back of your thighs, he tapped on your skin, an unspoken request for you to jump. While securing your hold on his neck, you jumped up and rested in his palms. With you in his hands, Chris began to walk the two of you towards his bedroom. Since Dodger was staying at his mom's house, he didn’t bother closing the door, not worrying about any sudden intrusion.

Your mouth was still attached to Chris when he laid you down, you head against the soft pillow on the plush bed. His frame towering over you as he shook off the suit jacket from his body, kicked off his shoes and toed his socks away.

“I love you so much (Y/N),” he swooned through kisses.

“I love you too Chris.”

Untying the front of your wrap dress, the silk material fell to the sides of your body, revealing your figure which was only covered by a thin, lace pair of underwear. The sight of your half naked self made him growl down at you in desire.

Removing his lips from yours, he descended down your body, leaving kisses in his wake.

“You’re all mine.”

His lips kissed around your taut nipple, his tongue poking out to flick at your pert bud.

“Forever and always.”

You felt him leaving traces of wetness from open-mouth kisses on your abdomen.

“The love of my life.”

His fingers dug into the sides of your thong before dragging it down your legs.

“My beautiful fiancé.”

You breathing hitched as you felt his warm breath fan across your exposed cunt. The hot air was a stark contrast to the cool slick of your dripping wetness.

“The future Mrs. Evans.”

And with that, Chris flattened out his tongue before running a long stripe up your pussy, lapping up your wetness until he curled it around your clit. “Oh fuck, Chris.”

How exhausting the sexual hiatus that you experienced with the brunette was evident due to how you were squirming on the bed. Your hands spread throughout the sheets, gripping and tugging in an effort to gain some form of steadiness. Over two months without having him on you had you mewling into the air. “Please baby, don’t stop.”

With his tongue occupied, Chris continued to devour you. His tongue alternated between long drags and quick flicks between your folds. You felt the tip of his tongue prod at your opening in a desperate attempt to taste more of you- to feel more of you.

Removing his mouth, he heard you begin to groan in disappointment before it turned into a moan when he spat on your cunt then suctioned his lips around your clit. With one hand holding your stomach down, he used the other to enter your soaking hole with his index and middle fingers.

Chris was gentle with his digits inside of you, dragging his pads alongside your ways, stroking your contracting walls and feeling every ridge. Once he was knuckle deep, he scissored your cunt, basking in the sounds of your squelching around his fingers paired with your content moans of relief.

He replaced his mouth with his thumb, using the limb to draw slow, tortuous circles on your mound as he watched you fall into the deep recesses of ecstasy.

He observed your neck stretch back, exposing a slightly bulging vein running up the expanse. The way your lips quivered as your moans flew freely out. Your legs began to shake when he hit the spot he was all too familiar with deep in your core.

“Look at me,” Chris demanded, his Boston accent evident in his request, “Need’a watch my pretty girl cum all over my fingers.”

The eye contact with the brunette was intense, more fierce than ever experienced before, but you reveled in every second of it. You noticed how his pupils had become blown out, only showing a small ring of blue surrounding the black.

You tried to keep the gaze locked until you felt your orgasm come full force through your body like a tidal wave. “Christopher!”

Upon hearing your screech of desire and feeling your essence begin to soak his digits, he replaced his thumb back with his mouth, longing to taste every single drop of your sweetness. His fingers continued to pump inside of you, prolonging your release and causing more of your juices to flow into and around his mouth.

Chris finally removed his fingers to drink more of you until you attempted to feebly push his head away, the orgasm causing you to lose most of your strength.

“Sorry princess, you know Daddy just can't get enough of you,” Chris moaned as he licked your essence off his lips.

He rose up your lower half and hovered over you staring down at your exhausted self. You mustered the power to raise your arms and grasp his face in your hands before bringing him down to connect lips once more.

The kisses were lecherous, the both of you yearning to taste every single part of the other. Your tongue was firm against his as he massaged yours while you swallowed each other's moans.

Your body felt on fire with the way his large hands were massaging and caressing every inch of your exposed skin. His fingers digging into your softness and pulling you flush against his frame.

Taking your hands away from his face, you began to unbutton his dress shirt, peeling away the material until it unveiled his tattooed chest. Your fingers tracing the large design on his chest before making its way down to his belt, unbuckling it in the process.

Dragging the leather through the loops and away from his body, you unzipped his trousers before reaching in to palm his obvious erection. The action made the man above you keen against your tongue. “I wanna taste you Chris.”

With your thighs around his hips, you nudged him until your positions were switched. His head against the same pillow, he watched as you tugged down the material on his lower half, leaving the two of you completely bare for one another.

You laid down on your stomach between his legs before grabbing hold onto the base of his cock, drawing a hiss from Chris.

His head craned back at the feel of your wet mouth tonguing his length, the wet muscle licking a stripe from the base to his tip. “Ohh- that's it baby.”

You collected your spit before it dripped from your mouth and on his head, the liquid cascading down the massive length. Using it for your advantage, you began to stroke him while attaching your lips around his tip. Your tongue flicked his slit while drinking up his precum.

“God, I love you so much (Y/N).”

Removing one of your hands, you began to swallow his length, stroking off what you couldn’t take down. His moans and groans only stir you on as you bask in the feel of him throbbing in your mouth. With your free hand, you began to palm at his balls; the action making him grip the sheets as well as tenderly holding the side of your head.

His mouth was parted, showing only his tongue, as he panted out. “That’s it baby, such a good girl for me.”

Chris felt his peak slowly approaching, the buildup steadily growing with every swipe of your tongue, suction from your lips and tug at his balls. Though he would’ve loved to release down your throat and watch your mouth milk his balls, he wanted- needed to feel your warmth surrounding him as he coated your walls.

He went to unlatch you from his cock and raise you towards him. “I need to feel you,” he breathed out, “I miss the feel of you around me (Y/N).”

You crawled up his body til you were straddling his hips. Reaching down, you pumped his length a few times before positioning it for entry. The second you began the descent and his head met the resistance from your cunt, you both groaned out.

Chris couldn’t wait any longer so he brought his hands to your hips and fully sank you down on him, sheathing his entire cock inside of you. The action made you lurch forward with your hands planting themselves on his chest in search of stability.

“Oh that’s it princess,” professed Chris, “Missed this tight fucking cunt choking my cock. Missed you so goddamn much.”

With the help of his hands on your hips, you began to slowly work yourself on his dick. Every rise and fall of your hips made you experience the delectable feel of his veined shaft drag against your channel.

“Oh Christopher,” you cooed as you felt him throb inside of you.

“That’s it princess, I’m right here.”

You brought your hands from off of him and covered his large ones. Removing them from your body, you intertwined digits. The new position of your hands allowed the newly added engagement ring to gleam under the light.

If he had a camera, he would’ve wanted to capture the beauty of you in that moment. Every buck of your hips caused your breasts to bounce, the action enticing him even more than already. The sweat that began to form on your body caused your body to shine from the bedroom lights, making your body appear as if it were glowing.

He wanted to frame the glorious sight of you, but he decided to settle with the fact of knowing he would be able to recreate this exact moment for the rest of his life. Recreate with you as husband and wife.

He rose up from the mattress and maneuvered your legs to wrap around his waist before sitting on his haunches. The new position of your naked chest pressed up against his own while he fucked you on his cock was a sort of intimacy that couldn’t be explained.

The closeness of your faces allowed you to feel each other’s breaths warm your features. You could see pupils being blown, feel the sweat dripping off one another, and hear every single sound that escaped the other's mouth.

Attaching his lips to yours, Chris moaned into your mouth. “That’s it baby, cream all around my cock. Milk me til I fill you up with my cum.”

The heels of your feet dug into his lower back and your fingertips gripped onto his neck, leaving scratches in its wake.

You knew for certain that you would have bruises on your waist with the way he had latched onto you, raising you up and down his length.

With every thrust, your sweaty skin slapped together as his balls spanked up against your ass.

“Ahh baby, I- fuck Chris I’m almost there.”

“I know (Y/N), I’m right behind you.”

A few more harsh thrusts as his tip slammed against your g-spot and you were suddenly slammed into the blissful abyss of your orgasm. The tightness of your contracting walls caused Chris to achieve his own release. The shouting sounds of you two reaching your respective peaks echoed throughout the room.

Warmth flooded your body and your cunt as you felt Chris’s cock shoot ribbons of his seed deep into you. He continued to drag you along his length, hoping to prolong the glorious feeling of your pussy throbbing around him.

After the sensation of your peak began to wane, he fell back against the mattress, bringing you down with him.

The two of you laid there in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth radiating off the other.

Chris strokes your back, long traces of his thumb running along your spine as you both regain your breath.

“I’m in love with you (Y/N). So goddamn much.”

Still a little too spent, you nodded while your hands toyed around with his chest.

While you two sat there, a realization popped into the brunette's head, making him begin to stand up. “I’ll be right back.”

You watched his ass jiggle with every step out of the room, the sight making you chuckle. When he returned, he held his phone in his hand.

“Seriously Christopher, you wanna make a sex tape right now?”

A boisterous laughter left him at your assumption, “No sweetheart, not that.”

Chris sat back next to you on the bed as he scrolled through his phone gallery. After a few flicks on his thumb, he finally found the photo that you two took on your first date. You were as beautiful as ever, smiling at the camera as he looked in awe at you.

You watched as he loaded up Instagram and clicked on the plus sign to create a new post. “Chris, what are you doing?”

“Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

Choosing the desired photo, he went to begin typing out his caption that would unveil you to the world.

chrisevans: A little over a year ago this photo was taken on our first date. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, that’s why I eagerly asked you to be mine. (Y/N) you make me the happiest man that I could be. I know this past year and a half has been a tough one, especially with everyone in the world claiming that they were dating me while I kept you in the shadows, but enough is enough. There’s no one else that I would rather be with. There’s no one in this entire world that holds a candle to you. To your beauty, your kindness, your everything. You are the love of my life. As of tonight, my fiancé. And soon to be my wife. I love you more than words can describe princess. (Y/@/N)

Chris finished typing out his message before looking down at you, silently asking for approval. He watched as your index finger raised up and clicked on the share button, indicating the end of your secrecy.

A dopey smile made his face before he looked at you, phone in hand, “Now, about that sex tape.”

You laughed at his joke as he made his way to kiss you once more. The embrace was full of contentment due to knowing that things were back to normal with a growing relationship full of unwavering love, reinstated trust, and pure happiness.

A/N: and that's a wrap folks. thank you to everyone who read this series.

also i would like to say that this is in no way an indication of chris evans personality or character. this is just fiction.

if you enjoyed this, please make sure to reblog and comment. feedback is much appreciated !

* divider credits : @firefly-graphics *

#chris evans #chris evans series #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans one shot #chris evans fluff #chris evans x fem!reader #chris evans rpf #chris evans x reader #chris evans angst #chris evans fic #steve rogers smut #andy barber smut #ransom drysdale smut #pining for professor

[plus-size-reader]

Leverage

Magnus Bane x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2107 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Magnus taking a special interest in you, Clary's human best friend who resembles a lover Magnus had centuries ago

Just a concept I was tossing around. Let me know what you think and If I should work on a mini-series based on this

—————————————————————————————————

“Just stay close and don’t say anything” Jace reminded, leading you and the rest of your party into Hardtail, his eyes focused on the surrounding crowd, constantly scanning for danger.

This whole thing should be easy.

All they had to do was find Magnus and get him to give Clary her memories back. All things considered, it should have been an in and out mission, something they had done a million times before.

...but they could never be too careful.

Especially considering that they had been forced to bring along some dead weight, in the form of you, as extra insurance.

Just in case the Warlock in question tried anything.

“This is a terrible idea” Alec grumbled, the words falling on mostly deaf ears, though by this point, even Clary was wondering if bringing you along had been the right call.

You were insistent, as soon as you found out that you could be of help but you weren’t blind. You knew that you were in over your head, heading into a downworlder bar with a couple of shadowhunters without any real idea what you were doing there.

Under any other circumstances, you would have turned tail and ran in the other direction, but this was for Clary.

If this ‘High Warlock of Brooklyn’ could give Clary her memories back, and help her figure out what their next step was, you were going to do anything you could to make that happen.

“We don’t even know if this will work-” he continued, earning an elbow to the side from Izzy, who knew exactly where he was going with that.

She knew what they should have already figured out, that once you found out why you were here, you were going to freak out for sure. After all, it wasn’t everyday that you found out that you bore a striking resemblance to someone else, long dead.

It wasn’t something you would be prepared to hear, so it would just be better if you could all get through this without you figuring out what you were actually doing here.

You took notice of the strange exchange between the Lightwoods but decided to ignore it.

The two of them were known to bicker, even to someone who had known them for a few short weeks, and you had more important matters at hand.

Like making sure you didn’t accidentally bump into a vampire or something as you made your way into the club.

“Keep your head down, and don’t go too far” Clary whispered, webbing her fingers with your own as you passed through the crowd, your grib unintentionally tightening as the reality of the situation set in.

Clary was built for this, it was in her blood, but you weren’t.

It wasn’t until you showed up to things like this that you realized just how far out of your depth that you were.

“I’m not going anywhere, trust me” you whispered back, focusing more on putting one foot in front of the other more than anything. Before now, you were sure that the correct answer to the question Jace asked you was yes.

Now that you were here though, you weren't so convinced.

You understood that getting Magnus to meet with you was a long shot in the first place, and you couldn't afford to mess it up, but you just weren’t sure why they needed you. Out of everyone here, you were the most out of place.

Anyone looking in on the scene in front of them would have seen just how much you didn’t belong. Not that anyone around you was all that concerned with you so far, all too focused on the music and lights.

As long as you did as you were told and kept your head down, everything would be fine.

All things considered, your job was easy.

You just had to stay out of the way, and hope that Jace and Alec didn’t need you for whatever it was they thought you could be useful for. Which could have been anything and you wouldn’t have known any better.

The Shadowhunters were so secretive, only telling you what they thought you needed to know, and even then, they always tended to leave out the important stuff.

It made working with them very difficult.

Still, you did what you were told and kept your head down, doing your best to blend in until something changed, which didn’t look like it was going to happen at first.

All in all, it looked to be a pretty standard conversation, though you couldn’t hear any of what they were saying from the distance you were at.

Of course, It wasn't until someone shot an arrow into some guy in the background that you realized just how wrong you were. Evidently, there had been an assassin in the crowd the entire time and no one noticed until Alec put him down.

Which, in turn, spooked the reclusive Warlock into nearly diving back into his wormhole.

He got his jewel, but from the looks on Jace and Clary’s faces, they didn’t get nearly as much as they were hoping for. The only thing that kept Magnus in place was the redhead’s grasp on his wrist, which likely wouldn’t be enough to hold him.

Clearly, they needed something else, which was exactly why they brought you.

You had inadvertently become the most important part of this mission just now, and that meant it was your time to shine, even if you didn’t exactly know what your part to play was.

Without missing a beat, Izzy shot over to whisper something in your ear, something that really didn’t seem like it would work. Though, by this point, you weren’t sure that you had any right to question any of the shadowhunters.

After all, you didn’t even know they existed until a couple weeks ago.

You shot Izzy one more questioning glance, just to make sure she was serious about this before she nodded, telling you to continue with the plan. If anything was going to get Magnus to stick around, it was this.

“Magnus, wait!” you called, doing your best to cut through all the noise that Alec’s arrow and subsequent murder had brought on, which worked surprisingly well.

As it would turn out, just because the Shadowhunters had neglected to tell you that you looked like the long lost love of his life didn’t mean that Magnus was going to. Even the sound of your voice was enough to ring alarms in his head.

He hadn’t heard that sound in so long.

Almost immediately, the Warlock spun around on his heels, his attention finding you immediately. It didn’t make sense, and there was no way that he could have explained it but there was no denying the truth.

Not when it was staring him right in the face.

It was you, and it didn’t matter how it had happened, not now. All he cared about in this moment was that you had come back to him, after all these years. . It was incredible, but even with as thrilled as Magnus was, staying here wasn’t safe. If Valentine managed to find him here, that meant that he likely already knew where the others were.

Every second he spent away was another second evil had to prevail.

Not to mention the fact that he couldn’t exactly trust the shadowhunters to tell him the truth. For all he knew, Magnus could have been looking at some glamour of sorts, and they were tricking him.

He was just having a hard time believing what he was looking at. After all this time, it didn't seem right to see you again.

“You always did like places like this” he hummed, that same far away look clouding his vision as had been this entire time.

No one had ever looked at you like that.

He was looking at you like the whole building could come crumbling down around you and it wouldn’t have mattered one bit. Like you had physically put the sun in the sky, and you barely knew who he was.

“I’ll be in touch”

...and with that, he was gone.

Though, the thought of walking away from you a second time was nearly enough to break his heart, he didn’t have a choice.

There would be no opportunity to talk to you if he was dead, besides, if they wanted to get Clary’s memories back, they were going to need his help.

~

“Who was he talking about? Who does Magnus Bane think I am?” you started, already asking all the questions that they should have seen coming but no one bothered to answer them.

They weren’t even sure they were going to need you when they asked you to tag along, and just because you had helped them out a little back there didn’t mean the Shadowhunters owed you anything.

You were still just some mundane.

The only reason you were still here was because of Clary, that and they needed you once Alec realized that they were going to have to meet up with Magnus in the first place.

Someone had to get him to agree to help.

“Don’t worry about it. All that matters is that he agreed to help us” Jace shrugged, ignoring you, which by this point was par for the course.

You were so tired of everyone acting like you weren’t here. .

“Come on. I did you a favor back there, can’t you at least tell me what I did?” you sighed, turning your attention to Izzy and Clary instead, because you already knew the males in your party couldn’t care less about what you’d done.

To them, you might as well not be here and you had come to terms with that. You just wanted to know who he thought you were, that was it.

In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t even that big of a deal.

“The last partner Magnus had, she looked a lot like you” she allowed, recalling the photograph she’d seen, which might as well have been you a couple hundred years earlier.

You couldn’t believe it.

All this time, you were masquerading as someone else, someone that you didn’t even know existed, and everyone else knew all along.

It was ridiculous.

Though, before you could inform the surrounding Shadowhunters of just how ridiculous, Jace chimed in just enough to let you know that, even still, it wasn’t really your place to ask questions or have opinions.

“We were hoping to catch him off guard, we needed the upperhand” Jace shrugged, truly not seeing how wrong this whole thing was. Not only did they use you without bothering to tell you what was going on, but they exploited him too.

It wasn’t right.

“You should have told me!” you scoffed, thinking that at the very least someone would have had the decency to fill you in on the plan but it would appear that no one thought about that before now.

Jace didn’t even look all that interested in having this conversation at all.

“I would have helped even if you told me beforehand, you know? It would have just been nice to know what I was walking into” you continued, well aware that you were basically talking to yourself but not caring enough to stop.

You couldn’t be both the mundane they didn’t even care enough to address by name and a member of the team that they used when they needed help.

You could be one or the other, but not both, and certainly not at once.

“Well, now you know. Congratulations! Can we get going now?” Alec called, several paces ahead of all of you by now, and not stopping even still. He didn’t care at all about whatever little moral dilemma you were having.

He was much more interested in getting back to the institute before another assassin got the better of one of you.

“Thanks Alec, I appreciate that” you countered, not bothering to cover up the sarcasm flowing from your lips. If he could talk to you like that, there was no reason you couldn’t give it right back.

The truth was that it didn’t matter what they said or how much they pretended this wasn’t a big deal. What had happened back there with Magnus was a big deal, at least, it was a big deal for you.

After all, you just found out that you looked like some dead chick that was hooking up with one of the most powerful warlock’s of all time.

How was that not supposed to be a big deal?

#magnus bane #shadowhunters #magnus #the high warlock of brooklyn #magnus bane x reader #magnus bane x ps reader #magnus bane x plus size reader #magnus bane imagines #shadowhunters x reader #shadowhunters x ps reader #shadowhunters x plus size reader #shadowhunters imagine #magnus x reader #magnus x ps reader #magnus x plus size reader #magnus imagine

[outrunningthedark]

Related to your post about Chris and Buck’s time spent together: in the grand scheme of things, on screen, we haven’t gotten that many Chris and Buck moments. It feels like there have been a ton of moments, but with your break down, there’s not as many as I thought. Which makes sense because the show is about the rescues. But, and here’s the insane part, in the time between Chris and Buck moments/the time they without seeing each other , the writers always make sure to remind us that Buck and Chris spend time together, and sometimes even without Eddie being present. Example: the grocery store scene “you know how much Chris misses you”, the zoo “he takes Christopher to the zoo”, and Buck knowing that Eddie and Chris watch telenovelas because Chris told him. If I’m missing any mentions, please add them in. These writers make sure to remind us how close the two of them are to each other and how present Buck is in Chris’ life. In a way that far supersedes how present an “uncle” often is in their “nephew” or “nieces” life. Especially an uncle that’s not directly related or an uncle that’s a best friend of the kids parent.

You hit the nail on the head, my love! The reason why it feels like there's been much more Buck + Chris content than what's actually been shown is because Tim & the writing staff have found ways to display the progress of their relationship without needing a scene as proof. The first time we get the idea that Buck and Christopher are closer than we realize is in 2x10 - Buck and Eddie talk while Christopher waits to see Santa. This moment was significant because not only had we not seen Buck and Christopher together since 2x04, but Christopher hadn't even come up in conversations at work. No "evidence" of a relationship being built for WEEKS (and in canon, it's actually months), yet Eddie wanted Buck to be there for that? Ohhh. Okay. The second-half of season two put Buddie on the backburner while Eddie tried to make things work with Shannon. (Side note: the writers have been keeping Buddie separate from their romantic relationships since the beginning! It's a pattern!) We *did* get the shot of Buck smiling proudly at Christopher as he walks towards Eddie to give him his helmet, but it's not technically a Buckley-Diaz episode because they don't talk about or to each other. Season three EPISODE ONE is where EVERYTHING changed.

There’s a party for Buck to celebrate his return to the 118 after having his leg crushed by the fire truck. Christopher gives Buck a gift:

Buck (BFF) 🥺😭🤧

HE MADE A CARD WITH BOTH OF THEM ON THE COVER AND SAID THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS!!! The show gave us absolutely zero re: Buck’s recovery process, but Christopher obviously played a big part.

At the party, Buck suffers from a blood clot and has to be taken to the hospital. He is no longer allowed to rejoin the team, and this news leaves him understandably upset. Eddie decides that the best way to help lift Buck’s spirits is by giving him the one thing that is guaranteed to make him smile: a day with Christopher.

His Buck, huh? Interesting development. 🤔

The next hint we get about just how much time Buck and Christopher spend together off screen is mentioned in your ask: the grocery store fight from 3x05.

Christopher - and Eddie, because we all know by now that Eddie talks about his feelings through his son - misses Buck because he’s gotten used to having him around.

3x11 is the episode where Christopher playfully hits Buck on the sofa (as Eddie looks on fondly 🥰) and Buck tells Maddie this bit of information as an explanation for why he didn’t plan to bring food to Eddie’s for the firefam gathering:

Here’s the thing: This is the first time EVER we see him at Eddie’s. The audience is supposed to realize that these three have become (practically) inseparable without the added screen time.

Let’s flash forward to 4x08. Long before Christopher takes an Uber to Buck’s apartment without Eddie’s knowledge, the audience finds out that Buck stayed at the Diaz house to watch Christopher while Eddie went on a date with Ana.

We weren’t given a scene of Buck helping Christopher get ready for bed, but we did learn that telling bedtime stories is now canon:

Right after the panic-inducing interaction between Eddie, Ana, and Ravi (let the record show that Buck never acknowledged her presence), Eddie explains that Buck knows so much about the L.A. Zoo because he goes there “all the time” with Christopher:

The Buckley-Diaz family hasn’t been together since 5x02, but the writers made sure we knew nobody had forgotten about them during the most recent episode:

The truth is in the details.

#anonymous #this took much longer than planned i’m sorry for the wait #otp: pretty boy and the kid #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #christopher diaz #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buckley-diaz boys #tina speaks