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#spilt ink
spiltscribbles · 6 months
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THE ONE WITH THE SOULMATE | WOLFSTAR FIC
Author's Notes: A reblog is like a butterfly kiss, and letting me know what you think is like a hundred hugs all at once.
.-
“You are seriously insatiable tonight,” Remus rebukes, swatting Sirius’s hand away from where he was eagerly grabbing at his arse for another round of fun, positively delicious, bloody remarkable, mind-blowing fun. God Sirius thanks every deity above that he fell in love with such a secretive, little wildcat.
“Oi, wasn’t the whole purpose of this getting married shtick so we could do that whenever we please?” Sirius harrumphs, flopping back on their bed, starfished out as he watches his ridiculously beautiful husband dropping his towel to the floor and digging through their shared drawer for a new pair of pants. He really tries his damndest to not focus on how the dying evening light filters through their room’s open window, bathing Remus in this resplendent, almost heavenly glow, turning the tips of his eyelashes as golden as his hair and caressing the dips and valleys of his lithe muscles, accentuating the smattering of freckles on his thighs and the dimples he’s got on the small of his back. God Sirius can’t take his eyes off of him for even a moment. “Because if not I reckon I can sue for false advertising.”
Remus only sniffs at him, affecting a lofty air as he pulls on the green, turtle net sweater that Sirius especially likes on him for how it brings out the amber flecks in Remus’s emerald eyes and how it hugs his physique in the exact right breath to show off how bloody good looking he is. “We did that right when you came home from the firm, and then again in the shower less than five minutes ago. Don’t tell me it was that forgettable?” He asks with a pointed hiking of the brow.
“Never my lovely little croissant,” Sirius contends hurriedly, popping up from his lounging position to snatch for Remus’s boney wrists, and dragging the shorter man down to sit in his still very naked lap. “You are the best shag and handsomest fellow and—“ Remus claps his hand over Sirius’s mouth, probably trying to come off stern, but Sirius could totally catch the way the corner of his lips begin to flinch upwards— he’s endeared and Sirius knows it.
“Enough of that bollocks, else I’ll get a cavity.”
“But my beautiful crumpet, I want to sing your praises,” Sirius pouts mockingly, kisses the tip of his nose, while one of his well built arms slings around Remus’s slender waste, with his free hand slowly crawling up his inner thigh, thwarted nearly immediately by Remus standing up in a huff. 
“Like a bloody mutt.” He scolds.
“Only for you my delightfully delectable cabbage,” Sirius leers, finally standing up and taking the proffered slacks so to get ready for this little soiree Lily’s law firm is holding for their fiftieth anniversary.
“When do you reckon these awful nicknames will drop off?”
“You’re the one who said you like it when I speak French at you,” Sirius goads, smacking Remus’s pert arse as he struts into their master-bath.
“Oi, when it’s spoken in the ruddy language, and not some awful accent you’ve conjured up.” Remus counters moodily before he grabs for one of the colognes on their vanity, and Sirius only smiles privately to himself, so beyond besotted with him that it’s getting detrimental for his health, exhibit A being how he very nearly squirts his aftershave right into his eyes.
But God Remus is so worth it.
.-
The ballroom of the swanky, Mayfair hotel is dressed up in all the opulence that should be expected for a soiree made up of the throng of stuffy, stuck up solicitors that are present. Sirius is not impressed in the slightest, even if he can work the room for one of these parties as effortlessly as breathing thanks to his upbringing as the son of a Lorde and Countess; though he still hates the ambiance of it all, so much so that it makes his skin crawl to this day, but he promised to be here and at least Remus is right besides him, with Sirius’s hand in his back pocket and hazel eyes flickering to him every few minutes or so, as if attuned to Sirius and all his mercurial moods.
God he loves him.
“Alice and I have been shagging non stop,” Frank says, which works well enough to bring Sirius’s attention away from wanting to drag Remus behind the champaign fountain so to have his wicked way with him, and back to the conversation they’re all having; even if that means that instead of looking passive, Sirius is sneering over at Frank.
“Dacorum man.”
Frank apologizes, beyond glum. “We just don’t know what to do. The doctors say that we shouldn’t have this much difficulty with it, but we just checked before coming and still, nothing.”
“I’m sorry mate, that’s awful.” Remus tells him, and Dorcas nods along, but Sirius just rolls his eyes.
“We’re not even thirty yet for fuck’s sake,” he tells him. “Maybe ’s a sign for you both to stop trying to ruin your lives with a baby.”
“Shut it Sirius,” Dorcas hisses, kicking at his ankle hard enough to make him wince.
“Ouch, hey! I’m just saying, a kid’s a lot of responsibility, and commitment.”
“I’ve been with Alice since we were seventeen Black,” Frank tells him hotly . “I think I’m already properly committed.”
“Then what’s the point of the kid!”
Frank raises his brows, floundering with no words as if he just could not comprehend Sirius and all his Sirius-ness, which is fair, the only two people who’s been able to do as much turned out being his brother, (James), and his lover, (Remus)… Speaking of which…
“I’m sorry he’s acting like such an arse Frank, he doesn’t mean it.” the sandy blonde says cooly, giving Sirius one of his looks that he usually keeps designated for his more rowdy students. “Do you.”
Sirius glares at him before looking back at Frank and nodding stiffly. “Sorry mate, you and Flores would be marvelous parents, I’m just being prickish.”
“Nothing knew then,” Frank says, but it’s coupled with an amiable grin so Sirius knows he’s off the hook.
“Right, well why don’t I make it up to you by grabbing you a drink? Yeah?”
“See if they’ve got an iced white?”
“Me too Black,” Dorcas scoffs, doesn’t even bother to look at him to make the command.
“Righto,” Sirius claps Frank’s shoulder with a friendly squeeze, winking at Dorcas and glancing over at Remus before he goes. “Vodka tonic?”
“With lemon please.”
Sirius nods, still pecks him on the lips even if they’re sorta in a fight, as if Sirius could ever stay away for too long.
.-
By the grace of God, the open bar is mostly vacant, except for a familiar head of messy hair he’s considered family for over half his life.
“All right Prongs?”
James pivots around, drinks already in hand and grinning at the sight of him. “Wow, didn’t even recognize you for a tick there Pads, you don’t even have your hand plastered to Moony’s bum!.”
Sirius smirks, tossing him a covert two finger salute as he saddles up besides him and orders the round of drinks. “What can I say Prongsy, the cheeky bugger made me vow to have it there constantly, can’t just jilt my bloke like that, can I?”
James grimaces with a roll of the eyes, and Sirius’s far accustomed to that look of exasperation from him by now. “You’re a mutt.”
“Would you believe you aren’t the first person to say that to me within the last hour?”
“God save our poor Moony.”
“Oh God doesn’t have to worry, I’m taking care of him just fine.”
“Are you being gross about my best friend,” Lily asks as she struts up towards them, looking like an absolute diamond, even if her nose is wrinkled indelicately.
“Aren’t I always in your opinion?” Sirius asks cheekily, trying to balance the four drinks in his grasp before she just rolls her eyes and grabs the flutes of wine for Frank and Dorcas.
“Your impossible prat-ness aside, I actually think you being all grossly territorial over Remus tonight is actually a good thing.”
“THat’s a first,” James says, but Sirius can only glare, suspicious.
“Why’s that? Oi! Don’t tell me that absolute plonker Dearborn is here!”
“Oh God no,” Lily startles, shaking her head as if the thought was too insane to even fathom. “’S just the firm’s just hired this new bloke and I’m really quite positive that he’s Rem’s soulmate.”
“Lily! Don’t say that!” James balks, glancing over at Sirius worriedly, but he in turn only laughs at the magnitude of the statement.
“Jesus, Evans, didn’t think you believed in that ridiculous shite?”
“’S not ridiculous Sirius! And yeah, ‘course I do, like James and I are definitely soulmates.” She twists slightly so to kiss the curve of James’s jaw, making him go a bit blotchy. Poor git’s wrapped around her littlest finger.
“And what? You reckon Remus and I are just here to kill some time?”
“No, don’t be a pillock,” Lily reproves. “’s just he’s his soulmate is all.”
Okay, Sirius’s amusement has officially given way to irritation, and he twists his head so to scowl down at her as they make their way to the others. “Alright Evans, explain yourself then, yeah? Tell me how he’s Moony’s supposed soulmate.
“Well he’s French.”
“I speak French.”
“He’s got amazing, blonde hair.”
“I’ve got amazing, black hair.”
“He majored in literature just like Remus.” Lily says airily, knowing that Sirius can’t match that being an architect himself.
“Well— I read all that snotty shite Remus asks me too.” He huffs, and Lily answers with a shrug to her delicate shoulders.
“Fine then, I’m wrong. You’ve got nothing to worry bout.”
She struts off to their little lump of friends as if to cut the conversation off completely, and Sirius is perfectly find with that. She’s acting off her bloody rocker. But, if Sirius stands closer to Remus than usual for the rest of the night, or if he ends up kissing his temple whenever he feels like someone is watching them, or if he glares at one of the blokes working catering after deigning to offer Remus an empanada— Well that’s Sirius’s business and his alone. He’s not intimidated by this soulmate shite, for fuck’s sake. It’s not like he’s trying to stave off the bastard or something. He does all of that simply because Remus is his husband now, and he loves getting to show that off to all onlookers, even the ones who may or may not be Remus’s soulmate.
.-
“We’ve got dinner with Reggie and his latest girlfriend tonight,” Remus tells Sirius the following Tuesday, tossing the scarf his mother had gifted him last Christmas— with a matching one for Sirius— over his shoulder as they stroll around to the front of the Three Broomsticks for their morning coffees, hands linked and the early winter snow catching in both sets of their lashes. 
And God does Sirius love the sound of that, of their schedules overlapping, becoming one almost. Loves the idea that where ever one goes the other follows. Sirius knows that they’ve both have their demons, from Sirius’s neglect and emotional abuse as a child— occasionally sprinkled with a good smack or two if his mother was particularly fuming. To Remus’s complex of never feeling like he can ever be enough, and the way Lyall had acted for years after Remus had come out to his parents as gay, coupled with his multiple hospital visits as a lad until they finally figured out his lupus diagnosis. But they’re better, so much fucking better now. Plenty of the credit going to the remarkable group of friends whom they’ve picked up along the way, but another huge chunk was finding one another, and Sirius knows it in his bones. Knows that there couldn’t be anyone else for him, and sure he knows Remus sometimes deserves more, deserves better— But he’s chosen him, he’s chosen Sirius. He loves Sirius. And it’s remarkable and unbelievable and amazing, and Sirius holds onto the sensation of it with hungry piety.
“Love? Did you hear that?”
Sirius jolts back to the moment, and smiles softly down at him, kissing the corner of Remus’s mouth in penance. “Yes, of course gorgeous. I didn’t forget, I’ll be home early and maybe we can have a lie down before leaving if you’ve finished grading those papers?”
Remus’s laugh right then is like the most splendid instrument Sirius has ever heard, light and magical and warm as a bonfire. “Try to be good and maybe.” He tells him with a cold fingered tapping of his nose before he flounces off to the main counter to order for them.
Sirius doesn’t know how long he stares after him instead of grabbing the gang’s typical seats up front, but is startled when he hear’s a choked out noise coming from behind him and sees Lily, panic faced and eyes wandering frantically.
“Oi, what’s squirming up your arse Evans.” He asks her suspiciously, thick brows furrowed.
“I didn’t know you guys would be here,” she explains so quickly that her words begin to crash into one another. “Oh bloody hell, the one time I have a late start!”
She stomps her foot and Sirius shoots her a fully fledged glower. “What is making you so damn barmy for Christ’s sake.”
Lily parts her lips, but no noise comes out, because right then someone follows her indoors, a very familiar someone if only based off of descriptions. A very tall, very blonde, very smiley looking someone.
Sirius hates him right on sight.
“I’m sorry I took so long at that shop Lily, my mother loves these, how do you say, snow globes?” The stranger says, shaking one for emphasis with Big Ben set in the center.
“Ridiculous tourist trinkets is more like it,” Sirius practically snarls, which earns him a confused look by the blonde and a tired one by Lily.
“Right then, well Sirius this’s Thomas Martin, Thomas this is Sirius Black.”
“Lupin-Black now, ta Lils.”
“Oh,” Thomas says, blue eyes blinking wearily. “Nice to meet you, ah, Sirius.” He extends his hand, and when Sirius shakes it he makes sure to feel the bloke’s bones crushing together, just so he understands who exactly he’s speaking with.
The French arse eventually pulls away, pinning Sirius with a one eyed squint as he curls and stretches his fingers.
“Oh God,” Lily groans, leading them to their spot and depositing herself onto the sofa with absolute exasperation, and Sirius only continues to glare at Thomas as he sits besides her, growing stiffer once Remus returns.
“Oh, hiya Lils,” he smiles, handing Sirius his drink before flickering his gaze to the fucking Frenchman.
“‘lo love, this’s the newest hire at the firm, Thomas. Thomas, this’s my best mate, Remus.” She introduces quickly, the fucking trader.
“Remus?” Thomas asks, dimpling down at Sirius’s fucking husband with bright eyes. And Sirius has to curl his fists so not to punch him right in the sodding face, only growing angrier when Remus chuckles and ducks his head, like he was nervous by him! Like he thought he was in fact very good looking and very charming and his damn soulmate.
“Yeah, blame that on my mum, she was big into the classics.”
Thomas’s grin widens even more and Sirius feels the pulse on his neck beginning to throb. “No, it’s very charming. My Grandfather was very, erm, focussed on those studies as well? Begged my parents to name me Enkidu. They thankfully refused.”
Remus laughs fully now, and Sirius wants to a punch a wall. It took him literal months to make Remus laugh like that— genuine and glimmering and gorgeous. “Lucky bloke. Though I do have to admit that Gilgamesh is a favorite of mine, I think I’ve read the epic twenty times over.”
“Oh mine too,” the fucking Frenchman says, stepping closer to Remus and now in front of Sirius fully, gambling bravely that Sirius wouldn’t try to cap him right here. “If you ask me however, I do believe that he and Enkidu are more than just, friends.” His eyes flicker down to Remus’s lips for a split second and when he looks back up his face is positively leering.
Sirius sees red.
“God, so nice to finally talk to someone who gets it, the professors I work under are usually so painfully heteronormative that it’s crippling.” Remus tells him, smiling kindly.
“Oh, I’m the furthest away from that, I assure you.”
He winks! He fucking winks! Sirius swears to God! He sees the bastard winking at his husband! His fucking husband! What the bloody hell does he think that platinum band on Remus’s finger matching Sirius’s own is suppose to represent! Holy shit!
“I’d love to read anything you have on the subject, most things translated to French are a bit clunky.”
He’s trying to ask him out! Right here! Right in front of Sirius! Sirius is going to strangle his snail swallowing neck! Thankfully, Lily must sense his inner turmoil because she interjects their conversation right then, asking Thomas to grab her a jasmine tea.
“Oh yes of course,” he nods congenially, rounding back on Remus before he leaves. “Would you like a pastry? On me.”
Is he trying to ask Remus to eat it off of him? What the hell! It took nearly a year of them fucking for Sirius to get Remus to bring food in the bedroom, to get to watch Remus lick the chocolate syrup off his cock. And what? Does he think he’s even got a chance so quickly!
“Oh, that’s sweet,” Remus grins and a part of Sirius dies on the inside. “But I’ll come tag along, yeah? I love talking about this stuff and Sirius absolutely hates this ancient rubbish.”
“I do not! I think these dead blokes are very interesting,” he harrumphs, heated, with pouting lips and crossed arms. But Remus only tosses back his head with uninhibited laughter in response, which makes the fucking Frenchman beam that bit brighter.
“After you,” he says with a swish of the hand.
Sirius is going to be tried for murder, and he’s not even sorry about it.
“’s okay love,” Lily reassures him, patting his head dotingly. “We’ll find you someone new.”
“I hate you Evans!”
“Don’t blame the messenger!”
Sirius is about to tell her just how much he does exactly that, but then he catches on the fucking Frenchman putting his hand over Remus’s to prevent him from sliding over his card and all the fight leaves him in an instant.
.-
Sirius ended up not even going to the on sight location for the latest project he’s heading at the firm. He instead spent the bulk of the morning and part of the afternoon grinding his teeth as Remus spoke and barbed and giggled with the fucking Frenchman, like he was enjoying himself. And it was torture, watching the way they naturally clicked and got on— Literal fucking torture.
Sirius is still fuming as they sit in front of his younger brother and his newest bird, a pretty girl named Amal, who’s just graduated from a posh, fashion institute in the north of France. And Christ it’s like he’s being bombarded with the idea of that country all day.
“God that must’ve been such a wonderful experience,” Remus says, smiling as she leans forwards with a grin, speaking louder over the chatter of the busy sushi joint they had all agreed upon.
“Oh yes, the cuisine was simply unmatched, even if I did end up missing London, being home and all. Though I’m afraid my French is seriously dwindling compared to my English and Arabic now.”
“You should ask Reggie to practice with you, I know I love it when Sirius speaks the language.” He winks right then, making Amal crow with laughter and Regulus roll his eyes fondly. But Sirius stays peeved off with his hinged jaw, absolutely seething.
“Bet my hopeless brother recites poetry to you and everything, rose in his mouth and all.”
Remus laughs and Sirius suddenly has the horrid image of the fucking Frenchman doing as much outside the window to their bedroom, and is furious all over again.
“Well Reggie, Remus here does fancy all things French, foods and wines and blokes and just the whole lot.”
“Well good, we have something in common,” Amal snickers, lacing her hand through Regulus’s own over the tabletop. Sirius and Remus haven’t held hands since the waitress brought out their drinks, and remembering as much makes Sirius take a swig of his ail, hating everything.
“Yes well, you can say it’s Remus’s soulmate, France I mean.” He says, words beginning to slur. “He’s meant for French food and wines and blokes, innit true love? You’d prefer a French bloke?”
Amal frowns and Regulus pins him with a one eyed squint, befuddled. But Sirius only gathers his wits about him when Remus clammers noisily out his chair and tugs on his arm to follow suit.
“Reg order us the specials yeah? And a round of spring rolls,” he instructs, words clipped, and a small dent peeking out between his brows, like it does when he’s especially annoyed. “C’mon Sirius we need to talk.”
“But that’d be awfully rude,” Sirius retorts, already hates the flat, fuming tone Remus is speaking with, and feels good and properly nervous for the impending argument.
“They have one another, ’s fine. Now let’s go.”
Sirius concedes and pretends it doesn’t feel like he’s being lead to the gallows.
.-
“All right prick,” Remus huffs, rounding on Sirius right after he locks the door to the single user loo. “What has gotten you in such a bloody awful mood.”
Sirius sniffs, arms crossed against his chest and his head tilted imperiously. “I’m peachy.”
“You’ve been acting like an arse ever since we had coffee with Lily,” Remus counters, reproving.
“Actually love, if you didn’t notice, Lily left about halfway through you and the blonde’s little clucking session.”
Remus furrows his brows now, pillowy lips pinched and looking lost as hell. “You’re angry because Lily left for work?”
“Oh for bloody hell Remus!” Sirius erupts, tossing his arms in the air. “I’m angry because you met your ruddy soulmate and now you’re going to ride off into the sunset with’m and read French poetry together while eating cheese and bread and talking about highbrow shit like Aeneid!”
Remus startles backwards, long lashes flapping and mouth gaped open. “Oh Christ, you’ve gone absolutely barmy. You’re mad.”
“You’re not helping.”
“I feel like I should call someone about my husband going bloody mental.”
“I repeat. Not. Helping.”
“What in hell has convinced you that this random bloke is my soulmate?” Remus asks, back to being patient as ever.
“Lily!” Sirius shouts. “She told me that you and the fucking Frenchman are soulmates! And she’s right okay! She’s bloody spot on.”
Remus rolls back his entire head now, groaning out, “You are such an idiot.”
“Real nice Moons,” Sirius frowns, doesn’t even know how to feel now, the anger seeping out of him the longer he’s standing besides Remus, leaving an awful, clawing abandonment in its wake.
“Did you ever once think to ask me what I think of the damn concept of soulmates? Hmm?” He asks, single brow hiked with pure condescension.
And oh.
Sirius is stuck for a minute there, doesn’t see an out to the question. “Well…. Erm—“
“Well if you had asked, like a normal sodding bloke! I wold’ve told you that I married you because I know your my soulmate you arse! And it isn’t because of some ridiculous notion of stardust or providence or whatever else. It’s because we grew together, and we fight for one another, and even when you’re being a complete prick or we’re arguing like mad you’re the only one I want. Only person I can ever see myself with, the only person I want to try this hard for. The only fucking person I ever want to call my husband! My partner! lover!”
“Oh.” Sirius breathes out, all his fears being strangled by the conviction embedded into Remus’s words. 
And it’s like all of Sirius’s insides melt, like all the adoration and love and reverence he holds for Remus is pooling in his stomach and threatening to pour out his every orifice. And God he can’t even inhale, only scrambles to lock his hands around Remus’s cheeks and press his head against Remus’s own.
“Yeah? You really think that.”
“Hell, I thought the wedding and all would’ve made that clear.”
Sirius chuckles, only lightly, his thumb dragging beneath Remus’s eye tenderly. “God I love you, so endlessly. Please forgive me for being an idiot?”
“Yeah, I suppose I’ll keep you around,” Remus teases, bouncing on the balls of his feet to kiss Sirius’s nose and lock his arms around his neck, and the sensation of it— them knotted into one another— could never be replicated in a thousand years, not like this, not like them. 
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isawhitney · 2 months
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Well,
Here I am writing a prose poem at last, all run-on sentences that don’t end for miles at a time, simply stretching along like some landscape in a Looney Tunes cartoon, all backdrop. and then when it stops it stops, abruptly, and I leave you Wile-E.-Coyote-hanging in the air so Don’t Look Down, Not For Anything, do you get that? or otherwise the quantum field of believing will collapse and the gravity will suddenly shockingly assert itself so Do You Get That? and I hope you do because the artifice, as I am told in the dry as old bones poetry class, is part of it. ‘but Miss?’ I shoot back, in defiance of all grammatical and social convention, ‘isn’t all poetry?’ and I could go on and talk about life and the road runners and the truth of all poetry (which I’ll tell to you now, only Don’t Let On) which is that everything is a poem if thinking makes it so - but she cuts me off with a groan and anyway. next week we’re onto villanelles.
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jellyleijournals · 12 days
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War and Peace
As hunger gently cradles me, It fills my stomach with throbbing butterflies, While thirst softly kisses me goodnight.
I close my eyes, And listen to the deadening bomb lullabies, And incessant songs of screams. They carry me away from here.
My mother's warm smiles And my father's booming laughs, And my sister's silly stories And my brother's games of football. They all pierce my mind Like white hot iron rods. They twist my heart so painfully, I might stop breathing.
My lungs ache. I breathe in the putrid perfume of smoke. The firefly embers bring tears to my eyes, Before I am tucked in with a thorny blanket of vines And Death graciously comes to put me to sleep.
I am finally at peace.
We analyze a lot of war poems in my eng. lit class so I wanted to try writing one myself. Though I've never experienced war before, I hope this is a good representation of what someone going through it might feel. Stay safe yall <3 ~Jellylei 💜✨
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luminousmoon21 · 9 months
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Thunderhead (Poem by Luna)
The wall was painted Thunderhead
The colour a dark turquoise
Like that of a mighty storm, thundering above the ocean
Like that of a foggy morning, deep within a lush pine forest
With it brought warmth and comfort, like that of a mother's embrace
Yet cold enough to remind one of a frosty winters morning
Like the depths of an ocean
Like hope and dread curling together in the pit of one's stomach
The bedroom wall was painted Thunderhead
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marshmellody · 1 month
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angry and tired. nothing more
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littleteapotghost · 2 months
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Tin Cup (WT)
I am holding
Strange and unnamed guilt
Here, in my mouth
Here in my bed
My captive leaning heavy on my teeth.
How came I to be a jailer?
And what made you my prisoner?
How can I sleep?
If I sleep I may dream
If I dream I may speak
If I speak will this guilt name itself
And escape
And be gone and away before morning?
Then again
Who am I to stop you?
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levrez · 10 months
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Dye me in your colours;
Paint me your soul
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mxa13xx · 2 months
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I cough up the hairs of his beard, as if they grew from my stomach
Pieces of him linger,
deep inside of me they raise.
I have the teeth of his, grown skewed;
they raise past my gums with vexation.
I have the hair of his, bred thick;
they raise deeper into flesh with wrath.
I have the eyes of his, fostered blue;
they raise harsher into stares with flame.
They raise above,
the pieces he rotted inside me.
The anger that molded my soul and being;
They raise from my throat with a scream.
I cough him up, two spit slick fingers shoved down my throat
'Get him out.' I yell, 'He didn't grow this flesh'
Yet I pull that single, brown hair from my stomach.
And it always grows back.
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phoebe-does · 2 years
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I've been recently asked where all my confidence comes from. Hearing this at first was a shock because for so long, most of my life, I've been a deeply insecure person. It caused me some reflection wondering where the confidence I've found in the past 2 years has come from... I think the best answer I could give is doing things anyway despite the anxious voice in my head causing my own self doubt. I get nervous in lectures to raise my hand and ask questions, but I do it anyway. I get nervous trying new things, but last night I joined a running club.
I think with growing up and out of my shell hasn't been about getting rid of the self-doubt or senseless anxiety but instead not letting it overpower me. I silence the voice replaying embarrassing scenarios, I don't give it room to breathe and just do things in spite of it. I think that's why I come off as confident, because people can't see the anxiety I'm constantly silencing.
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"And to think I wouldn't get my heart broken in the end was dumb. Now I find myself trying again; not able to care that I'm asking for heartbreak."
-Sad Song of a Broken Poet
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spiltscribbles · 3 months
Note
I love your Wolfstar Friends AUs. Will you be writing anymore? Happy New year 🖤
Hiya gorgeous love bug!!
Thank you so much for this incredibly kind message <3<3 
So the thing is that I’ll answer this in two fold. I love writing my   Friends AUs, and you can read them and SO MUCH MORE on my SPILT INK TAG But I’m currently taking commissions.
I’ve written out my like needs and such for it HERE and I promise it’s like only a couple dollars for a few thousand words! I am just like drowning in student and credit debt JFC
But I’m also like really irritated because ever since posting on tumblr after a couple years ago since like last month, liike nothing is popping up on the actual tags?? Can someone please let me know what’s going on there?? 
~Len
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isawhitney · 2 months
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Poetry
Is not only a disease it is an STI
Else why would all the Romantics
Have it? Byron slept with Shelley
And the man was sprouting sonnets
Babbling on about foreign kings then
Shelley slept with Mary and her
Sense fell out her ears truly poetry
Must be suppressed. Please wear a
Condom.
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dysphoresque · 2 years
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Sometimes i don't want minimalistic, sometimes my soul longs for raging chaos, the mess of untamed beauty, unleashed from the cages of control.
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luminousmoon21 · 9 months
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A weaver (A poem by me)
Perhaps ive always been a weaver A weaver of colours A weaver of words A weaver of cotton Perhaps I've always been a weaver Weaving smiles and soft words Weaving laughter and sunny afternoons Weaving comfort in the rain Perhaps I've always been a weaver I've just never noticed it
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profoundfuckery · 8 months
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Weak Bitch {Or This Is Not How My Father Raised Me}
My mind is a vast emptieness
Here lies the library of Alexandria
An empty ruin
That may have once held the secrets of eternity
Dust on the wind
Smelling of hubris and shame
{ Decrepit and foul, I continue}
There is solace in forgetting
In keeping nothing but the now
But I have a secret
Disgusting and true
Beneath the bones and decay
I have hoarded every taste
Every smell
Every whisper
Of you
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littleteapotghost · 2 months
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