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anothershorthuman · 22 days

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Stay Alive Pt. 8

pairings: nct dream x platonic!reader, afab!reader (you wear a skirt, but they/them pronouns are used), ??? x reader x ???

genre: zombie apocalypse au, high school au, angst, fluff, humor, not really horror but it's zombies ya'know

word count: 3.0k

series warnings: blood, injuries & fighting, suicide, character death, swearing, again... zombies.

chpt warnings: medical malpractice, mentions of dead parents, swearing

summary: nobody was ready for a zombie apocalypse. you were definitely not ready for a zombie apocalypse. while contemplating just giving up and accepting your fate, you meet a group of boys. life may seem pointless now, but at the very least, you now have a reason to stay alive.

previous: masterlist: next

…

The camp isn’t as full as Jaemin thought it would be. Sure, there are several hundred people, but there are plenty of empty beds. The camp is broken up into several buildings: 4 housing lodges, 3 bathroom lodges, 1 cafeteria, the 2 medical buildings near the entrance, the staff entrance building, and a giant courtyard in the middle.

The boys were given a tour after all of their medical examinations and given color coded wristbands in order to place them in a lodging house. Mark and Chenle were put into the green house, Renjun, Haechan, and Jisung in the yellow house. The remaining two houses were blue and red, but the wristbands given to Jeno and Jaemin were orange.

“What the fuck is orange?” Jaemin asks the guard giving them a tour.

“The two of you were uncooperative when you were found. Think of it as your first warning.”

They were instructed to stay in the red lodging house. Apparently, that is where all of the uncooperative residents stayed, as well as off-guard security and military. Jeno assumed that this is similar to what being in prison was like. Uncooperative residents were only allowed in the red lodge and other communal spaces. People placed in other housing lodges were free to enter any building except the staff building. There was a curfew, everyone was to be in their housing lodge at midnight.

The boys sat together at the outskirts of the courtyard. Jeno was glaring at anyone that stared a little too hard. They had tried looking for you, assuming that your medical examination must have gone by quicker than theirs considering you were by yourself and yet, you were nowhere to be found.

“What if something was wrong with them?” Chenle asked. The implication was understood by everyone, what if you had been infected?

“Don’t say that.” Renjun is quick to shoot him down. “We asked the guards if they were fine and they said they are so… they’re fine.”

Jaemin is picking at the skin around his nails, “Fine my ass. We should find them and get out of here.”

“Maybe we should leave without them.” Everyone's heads whip to look at Jeno in surprise. He shrugs a bit, “Don’t look at me like that. If the government wants to keep them for whatever reason, maybe we should let them. I mean, it's the government! What the hell are we supposed to do against the government?”

Haechan is the first to defend you, “We’re not supposed to abandon our friends.”

Jeno shakes his head, “I’m glad you could find comfort in them after what happened with your mom, but they aren’t the only ones wanting to help you through that. We need to be realistic, okay?” When an uncomfortable silence follows his statement he continues, “This isn’t me not wanting to be their friend. This is me prioritizing the friends I have in front of me right now.”

Jeno’s a bit out of breath after his outburst and his eyes flicker between all of the boys trying to gauge their reaction.

“Maybe he’s right.” Jisung says softly. He’s ripping up the blades of grass in front of him as he talks, avoiding eye contact with everyone else. “If something were to happen to them, or anyone of us, they wouldn’t want the rest of us to be hung up on it, right? We can’t just sit around and do nothing. If something happens to me, I want you guys to make a run for it. Keep living.”

Chenle stands up and speaks as he dusts off his pants, “I don’t give a shit what you guys say. Leave for all I care, but I’m not leaving without knowing why they’re being so secretive about keeping my friend isolated and away from us.” And with that he left towards the green lodge. Mark is quick to run off after him, assuring the others that he’ll be back after making sure that he’s okay. Jisung follows.

Renjun sighs, this really wasn’t how he thought this conversation would go. Jeno has been nothing but candid with his distaste for you, even if he’s unwilling to explain where these feelings originated. He’s also noticed the complete opposite with Jaemin. All of the second years know that Jaemin is a flirt, often taking people out on dates. There were rumors about how he would sneak his arm around his dates shoulders, his other hand maybe wandering. But Renjun knows that despite Jaemin’s flirtatious persona, those rumors were only rumors. Jaemin hadn’t been interested in anyone for years, but he wonders if maybe he’s interested in you now. Renjun glances at him, only to realize that Jaemin is already looking at him intently.

“What?” Renjun asks.

Jaemin shrugs, “You didn’t say anything earlier, I was just wondering what you’re thinking.”

“I’m worried about them too. But if everyone else wants to leave, then I’m okay with that too.”

Jaemin lets out a dry laugh, “So you don’t actually have an opinion?”

Renjun can feel his eyebrows rising, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’re taking the easy way out. Would it kill you to be divisive?”

“I’m divisive when I need to be,” Renjun is quick to retaliate, “I care about the entire group and I understand that not everyone will agree with me, something that you don’t seem to understand.”

“Oh, I understand. I really just don’t care. If I’m right, I’m not gonna go along with everyone else because they agree. They’re still wrong.”

Renjun leans forward, challenging him, “So you’re never wrong?”

Jaemin sends him a lazy smile, “I’m never wrong.”

Sure, Renjun is annoyed with Jaemin’s answer, but it’s Jeno that scoffs in disagreement.

“I can name 5 different times you were wrong right now.” Jeno says.

“Do it.” Jaemin challenges.

“The time you told Haechan that Chaeyoung was into him and he should confess to her.”

“I knew she would reject him. But he had been doing unnecessary favors for her and Haechan was being used. She needed to straight up reject him so he could move on.”

“What?” Haechan exhaled in surprise, “You couldn’t have just told me she wasn’t into me!” He shoves Jaemin and Jaemin shoves him back and snickers.

“The time you stole Yangyangs money.”

“I saw him take it from a freshman. I gave it back to them.”

“When you skipped Chemistry for an entire semester.”

“That was the semester Yuna would not leave Renjun alone unless he had people around, I’d skip class so he wouldn’t be alone during lunch.”

“That’s why you’d eat lunch with me?” Renjun interrupts.

Jaemin nods his head. “That girl was so fucking clingy, I figured you would like having a guard dog around for one period.”

Jeno laughs, “You did not just call yourself a guard dog.” Haechan starts to jokingly bark at Jaemin.

“I am one.” Jaemin smiles. “But see, I’m always right. So, we shouldn’t leave until all of us can leave together, okay?”

“Fine by me.” Renjun sighs.

“Jeno?”

Jeno is looking at his hands in his lap, smoothing out the wrinkles in his pants. “I don’t know, man.”

Jaemin scooches closer to Jeno, putting a hand on his knee. “Please, dude. For me?”

The breeze picks up, and Renjun can feel the hairs in the back of his neck sticking up. The wind rustles the trees surrounding the camp and the leaves fall into the camp.

“Okay.” Jeno says.

Haechan interrupts the moment with his loud voice, “No one’s gonna ask me what I think?”

…

Mark watches Chenle pout and whine to Jisung about how unfair everything is. If the circumstances had been different, Mark would probably have even thought that Chenle looked cute. He would have leaned over and squeezed his cheeks affectionately, teased him about his complaining. Sadly, they were still in the middle of the first zombie apocalypse known to man, so the temper tantrum was more annoying than cute.

“Can you chill out, man?” Mark asks.

Chenle’s mouth opens in an “O,” seemingly shocked by Mark's statement. “I can’t believe you just said that to me!” he complains.

Jisung is trying his hardest not to laugh. Really, he is. He knows that there isn’t anything funny about Mark reprimanding Chenle or having an argument about potentially leaving someone behind to die, and yet he can’t stop the giggles that leave his mouth. This, in turn, prompts Chenle to start giggling too. Soon, they are both cackling, leaning onto each other for support. Chenle is doubling over in laughter and Jisung is hitting him on the back as he starts to wheeze.

Mark can’t do anything else but watch. His face expression is contorted into one of confusion, his eyebrows pulled together and his mouth slightly open as if to ask a question. His face only makes the other two boys laugh harder. Mark sighs deeply and leaned back on his two hands.

“Okay, okay,” Jisung says, wheezing between laughs, “We’re done.”

Chenles laughing lessens when he sees that Mark didn’t seem amused by their outburst. He didn’t mean to be annoying, but it felt like all his repressed emotions were starting to catch up to him.

“This is serious,” Mark said.

Chenle scoffed, “You think I don’t know that? Tell me why I’m the only person that gives a fuck as to if one of our friends is okay?”

“Are they really our friend?” Jisung asks.

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?” Chenle says with eyebrows raised.

One of Mark's hands came up to rub his face, he really was struggling to keep his frustrations at bay. “We met them a couple days ago, Chenle. And they held a knife to my neck!”

“Maybe you only met them a couple days ago. But they’re in Jisung and my homeroom, they’re my friend.”

“Friend is a stretch, don’t you think?” Jisung says, “I mean, they sat all the way in the back and barely talked to anyone.”

“They’re my friend, okay?” Chenle was clearly becoming more irritated by their line of questioning, “Just because you didn’t talk to them doesn’t mean that I never did.”

…

Chenle was on his own. Usually, he and Jisung would sit outside their homeroom before class started, talking about basketball or the latest anime episode they had watched. But, Jisung was sick and wouldn’t be at school today and Chenle didn’t feel like talking to anyone else. So he figured he would walk into class early that day and just wait in his seat for the day to start. He figured that he could use some peace and quiet and he hoped to spend some time alone.

Except, he wasn’t alone. When he walked into the classroom, you were already in your seat. You barely acknowledged him as he walked to his seat in front of you, but he noticed the way your lips twitched up when he greeted you.

The two of you coexisted for a while. Chenle had even pulled out some homework to do. He was erasing something when his arm bumped into his pencil and it fell onto the floor. When he bent over to pick it up, he noticed your own paper. Instead of working on homework, you had been drawing. There were swirls and geometric shapes intricately drawn across your paper. In the center there was a jellyfish.

“I, uh, like your drawing.”

Your head snaps up, not having realized that he had turned around and was watching you. You put your pencil down and rest your hand on your desk, covering up the majority of your drawing.

“It’s nothing.” You mutter.

Chenle shakes his head, “It’s not nothing. I think it’s cool. Do you like jellyfish?”

“It’s not a jellyfish,” you say rather dryly, “It’s a man-o-war.”

His head tilts to the side, wanting to get a better look at the drawing, “A man-o-what?” He’s still trying to look at the drawing when he hears a small laugh. His eyes drift upward towards your face, and he catches a glimpse of amusement on your face before it disappears again. A small smile spread on his own face, he was starting to like talking to you, even if you thought he was sort of dumb.

“A Portuguese man-o-war. Don’t worry, I’m not good at drawing and it gets confused for jellyfish all the time.”

…

Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin are now laying side by side on the grass. They assumed that the other boys would join them when they finished having their own discussion but they had been laying there for a while. They were getting some looks from the people that would walk past them, but they don't mind.

“Our lives are ruined, aren’t they? Renjun asks softly. The other boys don’t have an answer for his question but when he peeks at them from his spot on the ground, he can tell they’re thinking about what he said. It really did seem like their lives were over. All of their dreams and aspirations were thrown out the window. Renjun would never get to have a display of his art in a museum and his parents would never see why he was so sure about moving to Korea to work on his craft. In fact, he might not see his parents ever again.

He blinked away tears before the boys could see them well up in his eyes.

…

You wake up feeling incredibly sluggish, fighting to keep your eyes from falling shut once again. You instinctively try to rub away the tiredness from your eyes but find that your wrists have been secured to the hospital-like bed that you are lying in.

Memories start coming back to you: arriving at the camp after being attacked, being separated from the boys, and weird doctors and nurses. There is a faint beeping to the left of you, presumably some sort of machine that takes your vitals and an iv that is attached to your left arm. Your arm feels tired and sore and you begin to wonder if they have something else dripping into your bloodstream.

Now, feeling more aware of your surroundings, you realize that you are no longer in the same room you were last in with the nurse. Although this room is similar, with the general feeling of being in a clinic or hospital, it is bigger. There is a curtain that blocks your view of half the room and you wonder if there is anyone in the room that isn’t visible to you. The room is devoid of any furniture, with the exception of your bed. There's a cabinet against the wall and a manila folder on top of it. Your fingers twitch, maybe you could figure out what these people wanted with you if you could just read that file that they had made about you.

Your train of thought is interrupted by the sound of a door suddenly opening. The door is behind the curtain, so you aren’t able to see who has walked into the room, but you can see their feet from below the curtain. They are presumably a man wearing dress shoes, some sort of loafers. They are polished and squeak against the floor as he walks across the floor. A big hand reaches around the side of the curtain and pulls it back. You are faced with a middle aged man, wearing a white lab coat over a navy blue sweater and beige dress pants. He’s got glasses on and his hair is the only part of him that doesn’t look put together, like he’s been running his fingers through it too many times.

He smiles when you make eye contact, an attempt to be polite, you presume, but do not give him the courtesy of smiling back or speaking with him. You stare at each other rather blankly for a second before he starts speaking.

“I’m sure you must be very confused right now. My name is Lee Changsub, I'm the camp's main doctor.”

You continue to stare blankly at him. If he’s the main doctor, it’s likely that it’s his fault that you’re in this position to begin with. If he’s in control, there’s no use in trying to communicate with him, he’s only speaking with you because he wants something and the camp had made it very clear that they were willing to take whatever it is they wanted without consent, it was the government, of course.

He looks away for a second, wiping his palms on his coat and then awkwardly putting them into his coat pockets. How funny, a doctor made uncomfortable by a teen.

“Do you, uh, wanna know why you’re here?”

He fidgets as he waits for a response from you. He looks at you expectantly, but only receives a nod from you.

“Will you not speak to me? I’ve been told that you’re a bit abrasive.”

“Who told you that?” You ask sharply, “Miss Kang?”

His eyes widen a bit and his mouth opens and closes a couple times.

“Do you mean Dr. Kang?”

You roll your eyes, “Yes, Dr Kang.”

Changsub is clearly floored by your mockery, but it leaves you feeling confused. Are you the first person that they have strapped down against their will? Had he expected you to be in a good mood after what happened?

“What time is it?” you ask.

“I'm not sure,” Changsub says as he walks over to the cabinet, looking through the file. He seems to only skim the pages, glancing at you every once in a while. You revert back to silence.

He leans a bit on the cabinet, suddenly becoming very comfortable. He puts his weight onto his arm that's on top of the counter and crosses his feet casually. You’re pretty sure you even see his lips twitch into a brief smile.

“This camp has been tasked with finding a cure to this spreading disease and you’re going to help me find it.”

…

tagging! @staysstrays, @caspervoid, @alyselenai, @lethephin, @leechipp, @rkiveruinz, @butterfliesinthenightsky, @olxviaaaa, @kikookii, @shley-chan, @kodzukena, @everytimeicrymytearsdonteverdry, @cocoishere

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a/n: hello,, thank you for reading this chapter! things are really gonna start picking up soon and im excited for you guys to read it! This chapter may feel like a lot of nothing lol, but i promise it's heading somewhere

#stay alive #nct dream x reader #nct dream x platonic!reader #mark x reader #renjun x reader #jeno x reader #jaemin x reader #haechan x reader #chenle x reader #jisung x reader

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theindescribable1 · 3 months

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Getting Better!

Tw: A vent

. . . But with a happy ending!

((LONG LONG READ...eat some popcorn while you're reading. Idk, uhh enjoy? I cried writing this so it might be sad))

BUT WITH A HAPPY ENDINGGG!

The Bad Stuff:

If you've known me for a while, you'd know that I have been dealing with some rather intense depression and anxiety. I spent a good chunk of my young childhood feeling down and sad all day, I had trouble sleeping, I had issues. I kept all my feelings bottled up for years, it only made me feel angry and I was rude to people I loved. I spent most of my days alone in my room, never wanting to be around my family. I think my depression started getting worse when I was 8 or so? My sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor, she had cancer. I thought she'd die, I was so scared and in so much sorrow. My parents brushed my aside for a few years while my sister battled cancer. I wasn't really a main priority, I felt like I didn't matter anymore. Everything started to be all about my sister, I felt more alone then ever. My parents spent all day with my sister, treating me almost like I didn't matter for the time being. After my sister successfully beat Cancer, it felt like things were never fair for me. She never got in trouble, I always got the blame for things, she never really had to work or do any chores, but I did. It all just felt like favoritism. It made me feel less loved, less respected, and I just couldn't tell my parents how I was feeling. I felt a hate towards my parents, they didn't find ways to praise me, or give me a simple "good job" I just wanted some slight praise, someone to tell me I'm doing good. It seemed as if my parents never cared for the good I did, but they cared when I got something wrong. They scolded me for doing something wrong, it made me feel as if I had to be perfect, as if I couldn't make a single mistake. I believed that I didn't matter to them, I believed that no one would miss me when I'm gone. That's when the suicidal thoughts came in, I would think to myself; "I am unloved, what's the point of even trying? Carrying on in a world where I just don't matter.." And I would see myself committing acts of suicide, I thought about what would happen. What just made things worse was how hard I found it to make friends, it seemed like no one gave me a chance. Every school I went to, I was always made the subject of fun. I never did anything to deserve it! I did nothing wrong! Why was it always me? Why did everybody just naturally hate me? I was left out if every single friend group, I was never included in projects, I never had a partner to work with, I was always the last one picked to be in a team, everyone always just treated me like dirt. I just wanted to die, for so long I just wanted to leave this unfair and cruel planet. I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. I was always so stressed, lonely, keeping everything bottled up, telling everyone that I was ok. Keeping everything to myself just gave me headaches, anxiety, stress, anger, and I just couldn't keep my anger to myself. It was becoming more and more difficult. School has always been so difficult for me, bullies, crappy teachers, and I never understood what they were teaching. The entire class was always ahead of me, I never knew how to do anything! I felt so stupid and I had no one to ask for help, I procrastinated every single thing... so many thoughts ran through my head; "I'm so stupid. I'm a loser. No one loves me. I have no friends. Everyone just hates me. Why me why me why me? I just don't want to be here anymore..." All my life up to now, I have always been brushed aside and left with my fake smile. I tried to talk to my parents about what is happening with me, but the first time I tried my mom said; "You don't have depression. You really don't! Just because you feel sad ONCE doesn't mean you're depressed! Look at all that you have! You have nothing to be sad about." It doesn't matter what I have, it matters how I feel! I felt sad and lonely all the time, all day, all night. I was scared to tell my parents again because I just thought they'd brush it aside as me just being "dramatic" and on top off aaaalll of this, my grandpa died and it caused lots of pain.

Things Start Getting Brighter:

I was at a doctor's appointment when I decided that I'd try again... I explained everything to my mom and she started to cry and gave me a big hug. She told me that she'll sign me up for a therapist! That's when I saw hope, a light at the end of a long dark tunnel. I thought to myself; "I'll get better...I'm going to be healed. I'm going to be ok. I'm finally help." After that day, my family started spending time with me, they came into my room more and gave me love. I felt happier, but still not cured- eventually I went in to the first session of counseling! My dad sat next to me for the first couple minutes while the counselor talked to him, I heard him say at one point that he was proud of me, and I couldn't hold back tears. Its because I don't hear those words much...I feel as if no one ever tells me that they are proud of me. . After my dad left, I immediately started to blurt out EVERYTHING. I just went off telling the counselor all the past things, I burst out into tears. I let everything out of the bottle. She could almost immediately diagnose me with some rather intense depression. She gave me advice, things to do, and since then I got a bit better..

So Close To Happiness:

I started to work on loving myself, treating myself to good things! I talked to myself positively! Then I decided I should restore bonds with my family but starting some family game nights and movie nights! Me and my family would play some games together on Wednesday, and movies on Friday! As of right now, I'm in a D & D campaign with my family, uncle, and my uncle's friend! Its going great so far, I'm having fun! I'm getting much closer to my family, I feel loved! I feel appreciated! My family plain as day care about me. I love them, they love me. And I started socializing more, I talked to more people, made a friend group, and I began to hang out with more family outside of my main family of 4. I talked to my cousins more often and got much closer to Carol! I had an online friend who I liked to call Goblin, and we decided to meet in real life. Once they gave me their address, I realized. . .We're neighbors!!!?? We lived in the same neighborhood, so I ran over to their house and they ran out the door, we greeted each other in a fit of laughter. We were online friends for 2 or so years and never knew we were 3 or so minutes away from each other! They are also know as The GGT is that's familiar to you! I was less of an introvert, I had more fun, more friends, many more happy memories! Oh and it got great when I got a lil app called Tumblr. I socialized even more and started getting to doing art! I had a goal, to be popular, to ve somebody of slight importance... well I've just got to say. . Thank you for over 700 followers! I love you all so much and you made my dreams come true! You are all my motivation, my reason to keep on going, my great friends! All of youuuu! I love you all so much! And to this day, I haven't felt really sad, alone, unhappy, I haven't thought about ending my life, in fact...I WANT to live, I want to keep on waking up. I want to continue to see the sun everyday, I want to continue on! I don't want to leave, life is beautiful to me now, I see the good in it all, I know that God has good plans for me, and I will wait for paradise, not skip right to it. I want to live every second of my life, I want to continue to love, laugh, smile, and be will those who love me. I want to accomplish my dreams, to have a good life with many memories.

I love you all, and if you are dealing with some bad things, just remember that there is always someone to talk to, to love you, to understand you.. And I'm one of those! You can talk to me, I'll understand you, and I will always do whatever I can to help you. Live your life, its beautiful...I used to see it has painful, lonely, unfair, dark, and depressing...but truly it isn't. Life is beautiful, and so are all of you.

Stay alive, I love you. I love you all.

#Vent #happy ending #Getting better #i love you all #stay alive #you matter #you are all so beautiful #overcoming trauma #overcoming depression

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