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You can live holy without trying to be holy. Trying to be holy is why you won’t live holy. But when you understand you’re right in the sight of God, righteousness produces its fruit to holiness. Everything has children. Discouragement births things. Truth births things.

Dan Mohler, The Good Fight of Faith

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Guidance and striving - Ibn al Qayyim

ibn al-Qayyim mentioned the following benefit in one of his many valuable written works:

قال تعالى: {والذين جاهدوا فينا لنهدينهم سبلنا} عَلَّقَ سبحانه الهِداية بالجِهاد، فأكمل الناس هِدايةً أَعظمهم جِهادًا، وأَفْرَضُ الجهاد: جهاد النَّفْس، وجهاد الهَوَى، وجهاد الشيطان، وجهاد الدنيا، فمن جاهد هذه الأربعة في الله هداه الله سُبُلَ رِضاهُ المُوصِلَة إلى جَنَّتِه، ومَن ترك الجهاد فاتَهُ مِن الهُدى بحسب ما عَطَّلَ من الجهاد. ـ


Allah said:


وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا

And whoever strives for Us, We will surely guide them to Our ways

[29:69]

Allah has linked guidance to striving, so the people with the most complete guidance are those with the greatest striving. And the most necessary type of striving is


Striving against oneself

Striving against one’s lowly desires

Striving against the shaytaan

Striving against this worldly life

Whoever strives against these four things for the sake of Allah, Allah will guide him to the paths of His pleasure which lead to His Jannah. But whoever leaves off this striving has lost out on the guidance in a measure proportional how much he neglected striving.


[al-Fawa’id pg. 59]

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Self-reliant, impartial to suffering
and joy, to clay, stone, or gold,
the resolute man is the same
to foe and friend, to blame and praise. 

The same in honor and disgrace,
to ally and enemy,
a man who abandons involvements
transcends the qualities of nature.

Bhagavad-Gita, translated by Barbara Stoler Miller

for a long time, equanimity was my main word. to stay level-headed in the face of all situations. specifically ones where i was disappointed in my performance.

one summer a few years ago, i played pool every single day. i was determined to be great at the game, or at least as great as i could be. months of hard work later, i still wasn’t very good. that infuriated me, and almost every time i missed a few shots in a row, i lost my shit.

i immediately started with the negative self-talk. i’m shit. i should never be allowed to touch a cue ever again. i have no business doing anything if i can’t pot a ball. i don’t deserve anything in this world.

yeah—over a game of pool. and i wasn’t even playing against anyone; just practicing.

i acted this way because i thought it made me better. i thought that if you could be equanimous through your failures that it meant you didn’t care enough. if you didn’t care enough, didn’t have enough passion, and you could never get better. 

i was right, sort of. i did get better—though it cost a lot. it cost me happiness, joy, equanimity, peace. i did this with pool, chess, debate, sports, anything that i was striving at, i made my life a living hell because i was focused only on the outcome. instead, i should have realized: i’ll never become perfect. knowing that first is the foundational peace that allows one to move on.

it’s like moving away. if you move away from home angry at where you came from, you’re fixated on the hopefully better outcome of a new place. but you have to come to peace where you are before moving, otherwise you bring your misery along with you.

and so, knowing that in the end there is no perfection, i come to peace first and only then decide to strive. now, that striving takes on a whole new meaning—not one focused on results. 

a striving that, in the face of both success and failure, honor and disgrace, ally and enemy, remains the same steady striving.

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