#suh youngho

[johnsjunsuh]

#johnny suh #johnny #suh youngho #nct 127 #nct #jjs.gifs #gifs

[favoritejohn]

top model johnny suh strikes again 🤎

#it's the sheer shirt for me #🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻 #thank you lord #it's been nice knowing y'all #but now it's time to for me to ⚰️ #rip me </3 #he looks so fuckfing good #like how is that a thing #the brown suit is just superb #whoever styled him yesterday deserves a raise #and thank you for the hair as well #blessed 🙏🏻 #johnny #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny nct #best mc in the world #nct #suh youngho #nct 127 #nct john seo #nct johnny #nct dojaejung #johnny model #johnny handsome #johnny images #johnny fashion evaluation #johnny fashion week #쟈니 #서영호

[sunshyni]

bom, tive uma ideia aqui de um friends to lovers com o johnny: ele é o jogador de vôlei mais popular da faculdade e a principal é meio que uma "nerd" nada popular. eles são amigos, mas ela meio que quer esconder a amizade dos dois (por causa dessa questão de que populares não andam com pessoas como ela), aí acontece algo que passa todos os limites e o johnny que assumir que eles são amigos e acaba confessando que está apaixonado por ela

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ✉ amor de flashcard ➁

㋡ notes: continuação dessa aqui! Demorei um pouquinho pra trazer essa, mas cá estamos! Ficou um pouco maior do que eu imaginava, mas é isso aí KKKKKK Espero que vocês curtam tanto quanto eu curti ☺️

㋡ w.c: 2.3k (eu avisei KKKKK)

㋡ warnings: Johnny × Fem!reader, um sugestivo de lei (é mais forte do que eu 🤭), Johnny Suh is a golden retriever porque sim! E no mais é isso!

Boa leitura, docinhos! 💌

A casa de Johnny já estava entupida de universitários que bebiam em copos de plástico de cores vibrantes e conversavam alegremente uns com os outros quando você atravessou os portões, incerta sobre a escolha que havia tomado de participar de uma festa repleta de pessoas que você conversava apenas socialmente. Johnny tinha dito que apenas a galera da universidade seria convidada, mas se esqueceu de avisar sobre um ponto muito importante, o de qual porcentagem especificamente dos alunos matriculados compareceriam ao local, porque parecia que a universidade em peso estava alí, brincando uns com os outros e falando alto a plenos pulmões.

Você realmente ponderou sobre direcionar seus tênis all star para a direção contrária a entrada da casa, mas desistiu tão logo essa hipótese cruzou sua cabeça, afinal você tinha dado sua palavra e não daria esse gostinho para Johnny, que com certeza aproveitaria a deixa para te perturbar pelo resto da semana repetindo o quão ruim você era, se aproximando do seu ouvido em alguma aula no auditório apenas para sussurrar as palavras, uma a uma, baixinho, enquanto o professor de vocês pausava a explicação da matéria apenas para reproduzir um vídeo explicativo, e nos últimos tempos ser chamada de garota má pelo seu melhor amigo havia ganhado um significado a mais, um toque promíscuo que te fazia imaginar cenários involuntariamente, que certamente não deveriam ser inventados em sala de aula.

Johnny estava jogando vôlei de piscina com o time com o auxílio de uma rede improvisada quando seus pés alcançaram os fundos da casa, você aproveitou que ele ainda não tinha notado sua presença para admirá-lo em silêncio, observando as gotículas de água brilhando na sua pele exposta pelos seus gloriosos 1,80 m de altura, não que a piscina fosse estupidamente funda também. Ele sorria enquanto discutia fervorosamente sobre um saque da equipe adversária, do outro lado da rede e você sorria também, porque tudo nele tinha um efeito contagiante.

— Eu não sabia que você vinha — Você virou o rosto para um Hendery sorridente, mas o único sorriso que você queria dar atenção era o do cara alto que agora tentava empurrar os ombros do amigo Jaehyun para baixo, numa tentativa explícita de afogamento, embora o Jeong gargalhasse feliz, nada parecido com uma vítima de homicídio. Você olhou para Dery, que ainda fazia completamente o seu tipo, sem tirar nem pôr, mas que por algum motivo – que você tinha plena consciência – não conseguia provocar o alvoroço no seu estômago como costumava fazer meses atrás — Achei que não curtisse festas. Festas desse tipo, sabe? Bebida e pegação.

— Todas as festas universitárias não são assim? — Você devolveu a pergunta com um olhar gentil, alterando o foco entre Hendery e Johnny, alguns bons metros de distância de vocês, Dery refletiu por alguns segundos, sorrindo quando chegou a constatação de que você tinha razão, bebericando da sua bebida enquanto só tinha olhos para você, o que te fez pensar sobre o quão azarada você era, porque eis que do nada o cara que você era secretamente apaixonada aparentemente mostra interesse na sua pessoa e o que é que você faz? Aproveita o clima para lançar as suas melhores cantadas reunidas num site aleatório cujo tema da matéria era “Top 10 melhores cantadas para nerds”? Não, infelizmente não é isso que você faz porque agora você está secretamente apaixonada pelo seu amigo, que sempre fora atraente e você só percebera isso agora.

— É o nosso cérebro viciado em toda essa dopamina — Em circunstâncias normais, não demoraria muito para vocês entrarem num debate acalorado sobre neurotransmissores e demais estruturas cerebrais, no entanto Johnny tinha saído da piscina através de um impulso excelente que fez na beirada dela, colocando as veias dos braços para jogo e mesmo estando um tanto quanto distante da cena, seus olhos pareceram adquirir visão biônica de repente, perpassando por todo corpo do Suh, incluindo a bermuda de cor escura que pingava no gramado do jardim, ele correu os olhos pelo ambiente, claramente procurando por você, entretanto você desviou o olhar do dele feito uma tola assim que ele te encontrou no meio de todos aqueles jovens, um tanto quanto animados como consequência do álcool ingerido.

— A gente vive se trombando na faculdade, mas eu nunca tive a oportunidade de conversar com você — Hendery começou, ao mesmo tempo que do canto do olho, você foi capaz de ver Johnny colocar apenas uma toalha com estampa de mapa sobre os ombros e andar em direção a vocês. O Suh sempre soube da sua quedinha pelo veterano, talvez desde o dia que vocês se conheceram depois dele te pedir o elástico de cabelo emprestado, mas vocês nunca destrincharam o assunto. Na verdade, você nunca sequer conversou sobre um garoto com Johnny, e ele também nunca te contou sobre as garotas com quem ficava, ainda que se ele tivesse relacionamentos breves, escondia muito bem, considerando que você nunca soubera de nenhum burburinho envolvendo o amigo e uma outra pessoa no sentido romântico da coisa — 'Cê tá afim de beber alguma coisa enquanto a gente conversa?

Hendery não era o tipo de pessoa bom de bebida, tempos atrás, rolava um boato de que ele havia bebido alguns copos de energético com vodka em uma festa qualquer, jogou algumas partidas de ping beer de forma alucinada e depois foi encontrado dormindo serenamente em um sofá com uma música explícita estralando nas caixas de som, na verdade, nem se tratava mais de um boato, considerando que o vídeo desse evento havia circulado por todo o campus em menos de uma semana. Logo, você sabia e grande parte da universidade fazia consciência de que Hendery estava atualmente num relacionamento sério com kombucha nas confraternizações universitárias.

Foi recordando desse fato universal que você percebeu tarde demais que Dery estava se propondo a fazer um sacrifício apenas para conversar com você, enquanto a única coisa que passava pela sua cabeça era no quanto Johnny estava demorando para chegar até vocês. Realmente, o timing do universo é sinistro.

— É, seria legal — Você concordou sem pensar, no momento exato que Johnny se colocou ao seu lado, num conflito interno se te cumprimentava com um abraço lateral e te molhava um pouco, ou se apenas te perguntava se queria beber alguma coisa, ele optou pelas duas opções, se intrometendo entre você e Hendery e falando por cima de todas as outras vozes alí presentes.

— 'Cê quer beber o que? — Você se encolheu com o braço repousado confortavelmente nos seus ombros, te cobrindo com a toalha estampada, nem olhou nos olhos do Suh para responder, porque se o fizesse, se daria conta da proximidade e o seu coração já batia muito descompassado — Só não bebe muito. Da última vez eu tive que ouvir você tagarelar sobre coisas inteligentes demais e ainda concordar com todas elas, mesmo sem fazer ideia do que você 'tava falando.

— Vocês são amigos? — Hendery perguntou, apontando para vocês dois.

— Não — Você prontamente respondeu.

— Sim — Johnny assentiu sem pensar duas vezes.

O Suh te olhou e você finalmente virou o rosto na direção dele, sua boca formando um “O” certinho enquanto pensava em como prosseguir com a resposta, divagando um pouco com a vontade imensa de afastar a mecha de cabelo molhada que provavelmente ocupava uma parte do campo de visão de Johnny.

— É claro que não! Eu e o Johnny? — Você riu um pouco sem graça — A gente não tem nada em comum.

— Ah, então você me acha fútil? — Johnny questionou, tirando o braço dos seus ombros e levando todo o calor embora, te fazendo abraçar os próprios braços desolados, um sorriso de desespero tomou conta da sua expressão, e num momento de reflexão você avaliou toda a situação na qual havia se metido. O cara que você gostou e o cara que você atualmente estava afim, ambos te propunham uma bebida, e é claro que a sua pessoa estava arruinando tudo como de costume.

— Não, John... Eu jamais te chamaria de superficial. A gente já conversou sobre isso, eu... — Você perdeu as palavras que estava planejando usar porque essa desculpa já era muito esfarrapada, desde sempre você tinha o pensamento em mente de que ninguém poderia saber que vocês eram amigos, por causa de uma maldita hierarquia social universitária que colocava uma barreira entre populares e introvertidos, no entanto, agora isso não tinha mas nexo e seria hipócrita da sua parte falar a respeito de um fato que não estava mais dentro da sua proposta de mundo ideal.

— É, Dery, a gente é amigo — Johnny afirmou com firmeza, e de uma hora para a outra, parecia que todos tinham se transformado em estátuas para observar quando Johnny capturou a sua mão. Erguendo os seus dedos entrelaçados com os dígitos longos dele na direção de um Dery intrigado — Talvez mais do que isso. Então, pode ir tirando esse seu cavalinho da chuva.

Você nem teve tempo para dizer alguma coisa em sua defesa, já que tão logo liberou a sua frase de efeito – diga-se de passagem – muito ameaçadora, Johnny conduziu sua versão atônita até o segundo piso da casa, abrindo a porta do seu quarto sem dar a mínima para os casais na fila dos “7 minutos no paraíso”. As luzes do cômodo estavam apagadas quando vocês adentraram nele, mas o abajur projetor de estrelas estava ligado e as estrelas neon coladas no teto também contribuíam para tornar o ambiente mais claro, coincidentemente os dois itens foram adicionados no carrinho de compras de Johnny assim que descobriu que você tinha o sonho de criança de se tornar uma pesquisadora da Nasa no futuro.

— O que diabos você tá fazendo, John? — Johnny não te respondeu, mas abriu as portas do armário no qual ele guardava seus casacos e expulsou de lá um casal muito próximo de realizar o coito sexual, e te puxou para dentro do ropero espaçoso, fazendo vocês dois se sentarem de pernas cruzadas um na frente do outro, os joelhos se tocando eventualmente e enviando descargas elétricas para todo o seu corpo descuidado. Você ergueu os olhos, agradecendo pelos pontinhos de luz que entravam pelas portas e batiam diretamente no peito nu do amigo, desprovido pela toalha que no trajeto até o quarto, escorregou dos ombros largos e por pouco não te fez tropeçar.

— Acho que preciso te confessar uma coisa — Ele não ousou elevar os olhos na sua direção, prosseguiu olhando para o carpete bege até quando ficou de joelhos para alcançar o bolso de um casaco bem ao seu lado, te fazendo ficar alguns centímetros de distância apenas do abdômen em forma. Assim que encontrou o que estava procurando, entregou o pedaço de papel cartão para você meio hesitante e voltou a sua posição inicial — Te trouxe pra cá porque não sei se consigo te dizer isso olhando nos seus olhos. Então, só tenta ler, tá?

— Johnny, o que... — Você procurou o celular no bolso da calça jeans para ativar a lanterna e entender o que estava escrito naquele papel de flashcard, num dos versos Johnny tinha anotado as equações mais cabeludas das aulas de exatas que vocês tinham em comum, enquanto no outro podia-se ler um “eu gosto de você” mais o seu nome numa caligrafia um tanto quanto errante, como se ele estivesse despejando seu nervosismo e incerteza na forma como escrevia aquelas palavras simples. Você procurou os olhos dele, mas era como se vocês tivessem trocado de personalidade por alguns instantes e dessa vez quem estava de cabeça baixa e evitando a todo custo contato visual era o Suh e não você.

— Johnny — Você pousou a palma quente em uma das coxas dele, imediatamente chamando sua atenção e fazendo com que você afastasse com carinho aquela mecha insistente do rosto dele — Eu também gosto de você, mas quer saber? Eu quero te beijar pela primeira vez olhando nos seus olhos de preferência.

Johnny não demorou mais do que 2 segundos para atender o seu pedido, te fazendo se sentar na beira da cama para poder segurar seu rosto com doçura e admirar as suas íris de pertinho, suas mãos acariciavam os antebraços alheios, os lábios curvados para cima num exemplo evidente de sorriso bobo.

— E por que você vem me dizer isso só agora? — Ele te perguntou feito um cachorrinho pidão, mas os seus olhos propagavam chamas de um fogo perigoso que você não se importava de se lançar sobre. Johnny pressionou os lábios nos seus, por hora apenas conhecendo o sabor e a textura dos lábios que ele fantasiava desde que te viu morder uma tampa de caneta por puro tédio — Tô te querendo há tanto tempo que pensei que fosse enlouquecer antes mesmo de te falar isso.

Johnny te beijou, realmente te beijou, invadindo a sua boca com a língua e te fazendo pousar as mãos na cintura delgada quando ele te fez se inclinar para trás. Você empurrou o corpo com os calcanhares em direção aos travesseiros para que pudesse se deitar na cama e Johnny pudesse se acomodar bem em cima de você. Ele escorregou a mão atrevida e exploratória pela lateral do seu corpo, segurando sua coxa e fazendo-a envolver uma de suas pernas ao redor dele, friccionando seus íntimos de forma suave, mas aparente o suficiente para você arfar baixo na boca do Suh.

— Posso te fazer ver estrelas senhorita futura pesquisadora da Nasa? — Johnny questionou com um ar abobalhado assim que desuniu os lábios dos seus, o cabelo molhado bagunçado e um sorriso insolente adornando as linhas do seu rosto perfeito.

Você segurou o queixo dele enquanto a mão vazia permanecia na sua cintura, e proferiu, soando tão brincalhona quanto o homem despido do cós ao peitoral sobre você – que no momento adentrava sua camiseta com a palma grande e vertiginosa como se aquele fosse um caminho habitual.

— Você faz muitas perguntas pro meu gosto, Johnny Suh.

#sun favs #sun asks #imagine nct #nct johnny #johnny nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct br #nct fanfic #nct127 #nct x reader #nct scenarios #nct pt br #nct imagines #nct icons #nct fluff #nct #suh youngho #johnny suh #johnny suh fanfic #johnny suh fluff #nct x female reader #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop fluff #neo culture technology #suh johnny #nct u icons #nct moodboard #kpop bg

[mymoodwriting]

Request for Anon (Yandere Sugar Daddy NCT U) 9k, assault, verbal assault, physical assault, slut-shaming, public humiliation, bullying, name calling, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, penetration, blowjob, handjob, creampie, gang bang, breeding, pregnancy scare, forced pregnancy, non-con, kidnapping, yandere, bad ending, blatant disregard for womens reproductive rights

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

    This wasn’t the first time you had answered the phone in such a manner. Screaming into the little speaker, hoping to blow out the eardrum of the annoying caller, and then hanging up. It was a very frustrating ordeal.

“Damn girl, what’s your problem?”

“It’s nothing, Mina. Just trying to get my point across.”

“Is someone bothering you?”

“Bingo.”

“Then why haven’t you blocked their number?”

“Oh I have, but obviously they still know mine. So whenever I get a call from a random number, I answer by screaming.”

“And how long have you been doing that for?”

“Uh… a little over a week now.”

“Seriously? And they still haven’t gotten the message?”

“Nope.”

“You know, what if those calls are important?”

“I don’t have any jobs or internships or anything that I’m waiting to hear back on, so it’s highly unlikely that’s the case.”

“Maybe you should change your number.”

“That would mean spending money I don’t have.”

“Really? Says the girl who has paid her tuition in full and doesn’t owe a penny in student debt. All because of some mystery job she won’t tell me about or share!”

“Well, you know me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

    You and Mina were close friends, having met here at Uni your freshman year and sticking together through it all. Now you were at the start of your final semester, ready for one last ride before starting a new chapter of your life. Of course the campus was jammed back as new students were moving in, and freshmen were trying to navigate this new place and find their classes. It was a really beautiful day too, and you had yet to start any of your classes, so you were in a pretty good mood. You knew you probably wouldn’t feel the same by the end of the day, but it was best to make the most of it now. That is until you were suddenly yanked back, and came face to face with someone you really didn’t want to see.

“You’re such a fucken bitch.”

    Jeno’s words dripped with venom. To say he was pissed would be an understatement. He was also the last person you wanted to see right now.

“What the hell are you doing here!”

“Why aren’t you answering our calls?”

“Oh, I am answering. I just don’t wanna hear what you have to say!”

“That’s not solely for you to decide!”

“Yes, it is. If I want to end things, I can, and I have.”

“Without a proper explanation? You’re kidding, right?”

“Does it sound like I am?”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Leave. Before I call security.”

“We are not leaving until we talk.”

“We?”

    You heard it then, the terribly familiar sound of a car engine, two car engines to be specific. You looked over and saw the vehicles pulling up, two gentlemen exiting each one, and making their way over to you. In the moment you attempted to run off, but Jeno grabbed your arm and dragged you towards them.

“There she is.” Ten teased. “Where ya been hiding love?”

“Fuck off! I want nothing to do with you! Any of you!”

“Yeah, we got your text. Now explain yourself.”

“What’s there to explain? I’m breaking up with you, period.”

“See that’s the thing.” Johnny grabbed your chin and forced your eyes to meet. “Where did that silly idea come from?”

“My head. Or is that too hard to comprehend.”

“Easy now, princess. You’re begging for punishment if you keep acting like this.”

“I’m not playing any games here.” You pulled away from Johnny. “We’re done, now leave.”

“That’s hardly an explanation.” Jaehyun hissed. “Do the last four years mean nothing to you?”

“Are you really all that dumb? Our relationship was just an exchange of goods and services, nothing more.”

“Is that so?”

“I’ve told you all about my dreams and aspirations for the future before. When did I ever include you in them?”

Yuta scoffed. “So you really just whored yourself out to us for four years so we could pay your tuition? And now that it’s all been paid off, you’re done with us?”

“Bingo. Maybe you’re not that stupid.”

“This was all just a fucken game to you?” Jeno yelled. “Four years?! A fucken game!”

“Not like you ever made a serious move, did you now? Any of you for that matter. So don’t come bitching to me about a broken heart or broken promises. It’s not my fault you caught feelings when I wasn’t sending you any fucken signals.”

“Yeah? What about all the nights out? The dinners, the trips, the clothes and accessories?”

“Dinners, and trips, you invited me out on. I never asked to go anywhere. As for the clothes and other stuff, that’s all at your place, isn’t it? I never kept any of the fancy expensive stuff you got me, did I? Nor did I ask for anything. I owe you nothing. You got what you paid for, more than that actually, but I’m fine leaving things as they are.”

    Your words had certainly stunned them into silence. And you also meant everything you said. It was certainly fun to be with them, to get a little slice of that kinda life, even if it was just for a while. You knew it wouldn’t last though, and that’s the mentality you kept, the one that kept you from falling for them. They were just rich guys wanting someone to mess around with, and now that their no-strings attached fuck buddy had left them, they were panicking. You said your peace, having to spell it all out for them. It was good to get it off your chest though, and with that you’d make you exit. Or at least that was the idea.

    As you turned around to leave, you felt a hand grab your arm and yank you back with enough force to drop you to the ground. You couldn’t get back up as they surrounded you. By then your whole argument had been noticed and a crowd of students and faculty had gathered around. Having this conversation out in the open was already embarrassing, and all the attention was making it worse. Although they were about to increase that exponentially.

“Whore.” Jaehyun spat. “Any money spent on you was clearly a waste. The only way you could think about getting through uni was to spread your legs. I bet you slept around with your professors too.”

“Excuse me!”

“Do you even have any brains?” Yuta questioned. “Or are you just playing pretend so you can wear a cap and gown, and show off some piece of paper.”

“Fucken-”

    You tried to get up but Jeno got his foot on your chest, pinning you down. You struggled to get him off, but he was putting all his weight on you. When your eyes met him you could see he was still pissed, and if possible, he was way more enraged now.

“You found someone else to spread your legs for, didn’t you!” Jeno yelled. “Whoring yourself out for whoever can benefit you the most!”

“Get off of me!”

“Why? Don’t you like having men on top of you?” Johnny kicked dirt at you. “Fucken slut.”

“Ya!”

“Just do what you do best.”

    Yuta and Ten started yanking your legs apart, and you kicked and screamed at them. Although you stopped when Jeno put more weight on you and you struggled to breath. You were clawing at his leg, but he was relentless.

“What’s going on here!”

    Two officers from campus security approached and all the boys stepped back. Jeno moved away and you took in a deep breath, sitting up and coughing a bit.

“We’re leaving.” Ten smiled. “No need for an escort.”

“Hold on now, you can’t-”

“Just let them go.” You spoke. “I’m not gonna make a big deal out of this.”

    The officers didn’t do anything more, and so the boys walked off. Soon enough you heard those damn engines again, but you didn’t dare look over at them. For a moment after they were gone everything remained quiet and still, and then Mina came over to help you stand, the crowds starting to disperse.

“What the hell was all that?”

“Remember when I told you I got a sugar daddy…”

“Yeah, daddy, as in one, not five! Also, I didn’t believe you.”

“Well I wasn’t lying.”

“Clearly. And you couldn’t share any of them?”

“They’re not exactly easy to deal with.”

“Is that why you’d always ditch me? Disappear on weekends? Why we couldn’t ever really share a meal together? You were off with them.”

“Yeah…”

“You really are stupid.”

“Ya!”

“Girl, when did you ever have time for yourself? Or anyone else in your life who was actually important? Here I thought you were just so focused on studying and busy working to pay off your tuition. I wasn’t wrong on the latter, but still.”

“Are you... mad at me?”

��No, not really. Just processing out loud... you did tell me about this, somewhat, I just didn’t think you were for real.”

“I know. If you had told me the same thing I wouldn’t have believed you either.”

“But you’re really done with them now?”

“Yup. I didn’t think they’d throw such a fit though.”

“A fit? I’d call that harassment, and assault. Shouldn’t you press charges?”

“There’s no point. They’d get good lawyers, and it’d just be a waste of my time. I don’t want anything to do with them anymore, so I’ll let it go.”

“Fine, but you are getting a new number after class. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

    That morning certainly killed the mood, but you went about your day trying to make the best of it. Of course your chest hurt pretty bad, but nothing some quick pain killers couldn’t deal with. Like you had promised, after all your classes, you and Mina went to change your number. Then you went about the grueling task of messaging friends and family to let them know you had a new number.

“Shall we go out for ice cream? You know, since you’re free now.”

“I could use something sweet.”

    You knew there would still be issues. If they made such a big show at your campus, who knows what else would happen if you met out on the streets. With that in mind you didn’t go anywhere off campus alone, and you didn’t visit any of their favorite places or usual hangouts. You thought you had it figured out, but there was something you couldn’t avoid. Everyone else.

    Word spread fast about that day. About how a girl got harassed by five guys, and all the slurs and insults that they threw her way. A few days later everyone seemed to know your name, and had an idea of the type of person you were. When you went to class all the others would purposely sit away from you, only Mina ever sat next to you. Then there were the whispers and chuckles. Every time you raised your hand to ask a question there was always some comment about you sleeping around with the professor. Regardless of who it was. It was frustrating, but you just pushed through. Although Mina certainly wanted to pick a fight with everyone.

“Just let it go.”

“How are you so okay with this?”

“I’m not, but it’ll die down eventually. As long as I don’t engage with them I won’t add fuel to the fire. So don’t pay them any attention.”

“They are slut-shaming you and saying all kinds of shit.”

“And I just have to make it through this semester. After that I can move forward and really build my life. I’m not gonna let some idiots who have nothing better to do ruin that. Besides, I’m sure they’re all just jealous I could actually get a Sugar Daddy, and five at that.”

“You’re not wrong there. Those people don’t just throw money at anyone.”

“I appreciate you ready to fight for me, but this ain’t worth it.”

Mina sighed. “Fine, but if you ever wanna start swinging, just let me know.”

“Will do.”

🖤

    You were right, in part. The teasing did die down, and you could go about your life like normal, but there were still a handful of dicks who found things funny. And one ballsy little fucker who decided to go a step further. As one of your classes ended, and you were gathering your things, another of your peers accidentally spilled their drink all over you.

“Oh shit, my bad. You must be used to getting soaked though.”

    That bastard and his friends snickered to themselves. You knew everyone got the joke, some chuckling too, but of course no one was gonna say anything or take your side. So you just did your best to clean your face, and then whipped around to look at your attacker. Of course it was a boy and his friends, although he got quiet now that you were staring at him dead on.

“Your mistake, right?”

“Yeah. I can be clumsy, you know.”

“Right. So then just pay up and we can call it even.”

“Huh?”

“You said it was your mistake. So pay for it.” You held out your hand. “I think a hundred dollars should cover my hair and clothes.”

“A hundred dollars? You play around with some rich boys and now you think you’re worth all that?”

“So you’re not gonna pay me?”

“Fuck that.”

“Fine then, but we are gonna call it even.”

“What?”

    Without missing a beat you swung at him and clocked him right in the face. He fell back onto his friends, and you noticed a bit of blood from his nose.

“My mistake. I guess we’re even now.”

“You bitch!”

    Not once in your academic career have you ever wound up in the principal’s office, this was the student dean’s office, so not the same but still. You had no problems with words, but things getting physical was crossing a line, and you weren’t going to sit still. You were still drying off as you sat in the dean’s office, listening to that jerk go off about how you were a monster and whatever. You weren’t going to apologize until he did, but that was definitely not gonna happen when his parents walked in. You couldn’t believe he actually called for help like this, and now they were demanding your expulsion. That someone violent like you shouldn’t be at such a place.

“Are you kidding? Are you even looking at me? Your son started this, and couldn’t apologize or pay up for his mistake!”

“A mistake isn’t met with physical violence!”

“He started it!”

“Please, everyone calm down.” The dean spoke. “We can resolve this without yelling.”

“I want that girl expelled.”

“That seems a little too-”

“Do you know how much we give to this school so-”

    The conversation stopped short as the door opened. You couldn’t imagine who else would join this conversation. When you looked back your eyes went wide, and you stood up.

“Sit down, baby.” Johnny said. “We’ll get you cleaned up later.”

“How-”

“Who the hell are you gentlemen?!”

“Y/n’s sponsors.” Jaehyun smiled. “We heard there was a commotion involving her, and by the state she is in, I’m not very happy. What is being done to remedy this?”

“She hasn’t apologized for hitting my son!”

“Has he apologized for his actions?”

“Exactly who are you to be making such demands?”

“Ah, right. I’ve not introduced myself. I’m Jung Jaehyun. These are my friends, Nakamoto Yuta, Johnny Suh, Lee-”

“I know those names…”

“Good. Then apologize before you’re buried.”

“Excu-”

“Or shall this be resolved outside this room?” Ten smiled. “I have no problem doing it that way too. I might actually prefer it.”

    You didn’t care much for an apology, you got to punch the fucker in the face, but getting one was the cherry on top. You didn’t apologize either and the situation was left at that. Now that you had a moment you wanted to go clean up, and the boys wound up dragging you into a gender neutral bathroom. Johnny locked the door, and leaned against it, guaranteeing privacy. You were ready to start screaming and fighting but Yuta turned the sink on, getting the water warm and grabbing paper towels. They weren’t saying anything, and you could silently be grateful for that. You washed up your hair, using the hand dryer to dry it off as best you could. Jeno gave you his jacket afterwards since your shirt was still dirty.

“Alright, what the fuck do you want?”

“We owe you an apology.” Yuta said. “For everything.”

“Go on then.”

“We’re sorry we attacked you the way we did that day.” Jeno began. “We were out of line and completely in the wrong for that.”

“Assholes. You know this is all your fault right? Everyone keeps calling me names because of you! And this was the first time someone dared to take it a step further.”

“We never meant-”

“Then what did you think was gonna happen when you screamed out that I was a whore in the middle of campus?”

“…”

“Good try, I guess.”

“You were right.” Ten admitted. “Four years is a lot of time, and yet throughout it all you never made a move to suggest you wanted anything more from us than attention and money. We never did anything to give you the impression that we wanted more from you either. I’m sure if we had, you would have said something sooner. So you were right, we had no reason to act the way we did. We’ve been seeing each other for a long time and you broke it off so suddenly. Our judgment became clouded, and we let rage overtake us when we should have been better. We can’t simply undo what we did, but we are sincerely sorry for our actions.”

“Hm… was it really that hard to take a moment and reflect?”

“Yeah…” Jaehyun added. “We’ve had such good times together, it was hard to believe you’d just leave us like that… but why was it so sudden? Why didn’t you just talk to us?”

“I… I wasn’t entirely sure how… we weren’t really boyfriend and girlfriend… and it’s not like we had agreed to anything specifically when we started this whole… thing… all I could think of was a break up text… I also didn’t think you’d explode at me the way you did… I mean, I always thought you had girls lined up that you played with or whatever… I didn’t think you’d care that much…”

“Well, as you can see… we care a lot…”

“Yeah… how did you even know I was in trouble?”

“We might have… been paying someone in the administrative office to keep tabs on you for us…”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Johnny commented. “We’ve practically been with you throughout your whole academic career. You’re a good student, so we never imagined you’d get into any kind of trouble, but just to be safe. It worked out for us in the end. We’ve been wanting to talk to you, to apologize, we just didn’t really know how to approach you.”

“I see.”

“Which brings us to our other point. Do you think we can do this properly?”

“Do what?”

“We understand that you don’t see us in your future, but can we at least end things on a good note? We’ve been with you for four years now… we were all kinda hoping to see you graduate you know…”

“What exactly are you suggesting here?”

“One last dinner… one last trip…” Yuta mumbled. “That kinda stuff… let us see this to the end. We can just be another part of your Uni days and nothing more.”

“Hm…”

“Can you at least give us that kinda closure?”

    You weren’t really sure how you felt about all this. You had already cut them out of your life, but they were clearly still hanging on. At least they had apologized, and did help you back there in the dean’s office. Truth was the way you handled things wasn’t all that great either. You had been worried that if you just talked to them they’d find some way to convince you to stick around, but that really wasn’t your life plan. Now they understood that, so maybe things could end differently. You also didn’t want to part ways with them on a bad note.

“Just until graduation?”

“We really wanna see you with that cap and gown.” Jeno admitted. “You’ll look so gorgeous.”

“Alright, we can somewhat continue as we were, but after my graduation, we’re done. Understood?”

“Got it.”

“Can we take you out to lunch then?” Ten asked. “Since you’re done with classes for the day.”

“You know my schedule too?”

“We were trying to figure out a way to talk to you…”

“Fine, let me just go change clothes first. I’ll meet you at my usual pick up spot?”

“That works for us.”

🖤

    It had been a while since you last hung out with the boys, so there was a bit of awkwardness. At least this was just lunch to ease back into things. They took you to one of their usual spots, getting a private room and ordering your favorites.

“So, you really just clocked him in the face, huh?”

“He could have paid up. I wasn’t going to let him do that without consequence.”

“Good on you.” Yuta cheered. “Although tryna get you kicked out, that’s ridiculous.”

“I can’t believe he called his parents. Such a momma’s boy.”

“Says the sugar baby.”

“I didn’t call you to come save my ass.”

“Ah, so you agree.” Johnny teased. “We did save you?”

“Well… I wasn’t entirely sure how I was gonna deal with that just yet…”

“We saved you. It’s okay to admit that.”

“You guys just wanna brag to my face.” 

“Is that so wrong?” Jeno teased. “Maybe you can shut me up with a reward.”

“You think you deserve a reward?”

“Don’t I?”

“Hm… what did you have in mind?”

“I have been missing you a lot.”

“Really? You? Or is it someone else?”

“Huh?”

    Jeno had been at your side, and he was leaning in close asking for his reward. Now that you were teasing him back you leaned in too. You placed a hand between his legs, slowly moving it closer to his crotch. After breaking the ice, it was kinda easy to slip back into old dynamics. Besides, maybe you had missed something about them too.

“Oh… you want a reward out of this too, huh?”

“I’ve been good, haven’t I?”

“Easy now.” Jaehyun pulled you away from Jeno. “We’re just having lunch today, baby. Besides, are you still taking the pills?”

You sighed. “I stopped taking them when we parted ways.”

“Then we should probably get you back on them before we start playing. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“We still have some.” Ten offered. “They should work just fine, right?”

“It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Excellent. I’ll throw in a pregnancy test or two, just to be safe.”

“Seriously?”

“Well, you took a break from the pill, just a precaution.”

“Fair.”

    Things weren’t exactly like before. They were more respectful of your time. Before they’d always be calling, wanting every moment of free time you had. They’d pick you up Friday night from school, keep you to themselves all weekend most of the time. You only ever got a pass during exam time, and when you had the guts to ask for a break. Usually you didn’t, not wanting to upset them and possibly lose out on your tuition money. It was exhausting, but it was all for a better life. At least that’s what you told yourself. This time around they were more like friends, checking in on you, and asking how you were doing.

    They definitely wanted to see you, but on your own terms. So occasionally you’d go out for lunch, maybe dinner, but nothing too extravagant, as you knew they were gonna go all out for the last trip and dinner. At least with these little outings they always brought you back to campus unlike before where you’d spent the night with them until Sunday afternoon. Things were better this way, kinda making you wish the last four years had been like this too. Although you were actually surprised when they brought up the last trip.

“Spring break?”

“Yeah. Let’s have a blast and unwind before you give it your all for graduation.”

“Uh… well… the thing is…”

“You don’t like it?” Johnny questioned.

“I had already made plans with my friends for spring break… and I thought you’d want to go out on a trip like after my finals…”

“Ah, right. You didn’t intend for us to still be in your life by now.”

“Then how about we split it.” Yuta suggested. “First half of your break, you hang out with your friends. For the second half, we get you all to ourselves.”

“Hm… switch it.”

“Huh?”

“You get the first half, my friends get the second half.”

“How come?”

“Cause you guys can switch your plans around easily, my friends can’t.”

“Fair. So we’ll pick you up Monday morning?” Jeno asked. “Or can we come get you Friday night?”

“Oh, wanna kick things off early?” 

“If you can handle it.”

“Sure. I’ll pack some things after my class.”

“Can’t wait.”

    Even if you were acting cool, you were excited for this trip. They always treated you so well, spoiled you like a princess. This wasn’t gonna be any different. They had been modest so far, but now was their chance to do things like back then. They picked you up in a party bus, starting off strong with drinks, and congratulating you on your midterm exams. Of course karaoke and good food followed, and you were out celebrating until early hours of the morning. Somehow you all made it back to the penthouse sweet. You had a few more drinks before you made it to bed, half dressed with the boys piled around you.

    The morning was a hangover times six, although some of them had it worse than you. Thankfully breakfast was brought up, and hangover cures, so you just had to get up and put food in your mouth. When that failed Johnny was more than happy to feed you, the one of the bunch that could really handle their liquor.  You also needed to get yourself together. The party had only just begun, not to mention all the plans you had with your friends later on in the week. For now though, you just needed to make it through breakfast.

“Had a little too much?”

“I’m good…”

“Your face says otherwise.”

“What’s it telling you?”

“You wanna throw up?”

“I don’t want a bad taste in my mouth.”

“Then some ice cream to help soothe your throat.”

“Ice cream for breakfast?” Jaehyun questioned. “Isn’t that a bad idea?”

“This week is all about bad ideas.”

“So what’s on the agenda for today?” You asked. “More drinks?”

“We want you sober for all the memories we are gonna make. So no more drinks, is that okay?”

“Just fine.”

“Good. We were thinking of some tourist attractions, and some trips to the museums.”

“Jellyfish!”

“Yes. The aquarium is on the list.”

“Awesome!”

    Once you were all better you headed out, taking a limo into town. You had a chance to relax now that you were on break, and really take it all in. This was one of the last times you’d be around here, planning to go home after graduation. The whole day honestly made you feel like a child, indulging in everything you wanted to do or eat. To many you looked like a little sister with her brothers, or maybe just a lucky girl with her friends, but either way, you were glad you didn’t attract any negative attention. Some did recognize the boys, but that never became a problem, so you had nothing to worry about.

    You got to have lunch in the aquarium, watching all the fishes swim, almost feeling like you were in the water with them. The penguins were great too, and the jellyfish, and dolphins. You totally walked out with two or three plushies. For dinner this time you returned to the hotel, having some quality food, but as said before no drinking. Jeno and Yuta still felt the need to embarrass you and make a toast to your health and success in school. They even had a dessert brought out with a candle to once again congratulate you on surviving midterms. Although once back in the suite you better understood why there was a drinking ban.

    As soon as you set foot in the penthouse Johnny picked you up in his arms, taking you to the bedroom. He saw you down and laid you back, his hand caressing your cheek. You could feel one of the others getting your shoes off, and you knew where this was going. It had been a while, but you had been waiting for this. Besides all the attention and money, there was another benefit to having five sugar daddies. No one could ever take care of you the way you did. Johnny leaned down to kiss your lips, his hands reaching down to your shirt, although you stopped him.

“I don’t think you asked permission.”

“I’m not asking tonight, baby.”

“No?”

“You have any idea how bad you’ve been?”

“Me?”

“Breaking up with us.” Jeno hissed into your ear. “Hiding away and trying to leave.”

“I thought we-”

“Sh, unless you wanna cause more trouble.”

“Tonight you’re gonna give us everything we are owed.” Yuta added. “So you better take it all with a smile on your face.”

    Suddenly Johnny had your hands pinned above your head as Jeno pulled up your shirt. He reached over to unhook your bra and push it up, exposing your breasts. He kneaded them for a moment and you bit your lip. His hands were cold, but he knew how you liked his touch. Then you felt hands getting you out of your skirt. The second your panties were exposed there was a hand grabbing your crotch.

“It did always hurt that you never invited us back to your dorm.” Ten commented. “Didn’t want you getting exposed to your roommate?”

“She knew… about our arrangement… sort of…”

“I didn’t say you could speak, baby.” Ten slapped your inner thigh. “Bad girl.”

    You bit your lip, instinctively trying to close your legs but Ten pulled them apart. The boys stripped you out of your clothes, leaving your panties on for the time being. Jaehyun had taken to holding down your arms as Johnny started kissing down your chest, Ten’s hand squeezing your thighs. Yuta and Jeno were already shedding articles of clothing, getting you all the more excited.

“You’ve been a good girl and taking the pills we gave you, right?” Jaehyun asked, and you nodded. “Good. So we can have all kinds of fun tonight.”

    For as long as you had been with them, you had always taken the pill. They didn’t always take you raw, but it was better to be safe than sorry. You were also glad they didn’t play around with that kinda thing, wanting to be safe with you even if they were gonna fill you up to the brim with their seed. Tonight was going to be no different, you figured they’d be desperate to do so. Even if they wanted to tease, they couldn’t help themselves for too long. Soon enough you were all naked, and you were getting attacked with kisses from all angles.

“Who’s first?”

“The eldest.”

    They still cared to make sure you were nice and wet, Johnny stretching you out a good way before giving you everything. It had been so long for you too, abstaining from sex to focus on your studies. You also hadn’t slept with anyone else but them for four years, and weren’t entirely sure how to get laid anymore. Even if it hurt at first, your body was quick to remember this familiar stretch, and feeling. Johnny hadn’t forgotten your body though, doing everything just right, doing it just how you liked it. Not to mention the others knew what to do while waiting their turn. Playing with your tits, stealing kisses, rubbing your clit, using your hands or mouth to warm up. You were gonna wear yourself out long before them, and they really loved when you became putty in their hands.

    Even with all the distractions you couldn’t ignore Johnny as he was the one pounding into you. He was always so rough and precise with his movements, hitting your sweet spot just right. Of course you had been getting yourself off in your dorm, but nothing could compare to one of them taking you over to the edge. You could tell when Johnny got close, he got sloppy and so desperate, trying to hold out to make it all last, but spilling inside you was just as rewarding. The warm feeling between your legs was already making you head spin, but you knew Johnny lost a bit of his touch if he didn’t get you off. He wanted another go, but Jaehyun was already shoving him out of the way.

    His turn was spent and Jaehyun would take pride in finishing you off. He had no problem slipping into the mess that was becoming of your cunt, eager to add to the mix. Of course Johnny wanted to give you a taste too, having you use your tongue to clean him up. If you had taken him all at once you probably would have choked as Jaehyun was giving you everything. He was making it very obvious he had a lot of pent up frustrations he was taking out on you. If he made you feel this good, you wouldn’t mind him holding off more often. Although he wasn’t gonna get the satisfaction of making you cum either as Jeno started playing with your clit, pushing you over to the edge before Jaehyun was even close.

    You squeezed Jaehyun tight, feeling as you were leaking out cum, your head thrown back as your mouth hung open in bliss. You vaguely heard Jaehyun scolding the other boy for taking what was his, but it wasn’t so bad if he got to fuck you while you were so sensitive. He moved with your climax, trying to keep you riding that high for as long as you could, but as you started to come down he got relentless. You couldn’t help but whimper, but that wasn’t gonna make him go any easy. In his own desperation he got close, unable to hold back before cumming inside you, making you overflow.

“Such a messy slut, taking two cocks so well.”

“Let’s make it three.”

    Jeno wanted to go next, but Ten kicked him off. He stuck two fingers into your mess, swearing cum on your belly, and then sticking the digits in your mouth.

“How’s that taste?”

    He swirled his fingers around before pulling them out with a pop. He could be real mean, playing with you when he wasn’t even filling you up. Your whimpers were adorable to him, especially when you got needy enough to start shaking your hips. Now you were begging, and he was happy to give you what you wanted.

“Whore.”

    Hearing those words outside the bedroom certainly wasn’t fun, but in the bedroom, even if it was said with the same level of vileness, you’d happily accept it. Four years, the same five dicks, you were certainly a whore for them. Ten was certainly on the more elegant side, working you over along with him, knowing how to get you on his level so you’d both climax together. Even being a little out of practice with your body, he could still play you like an instrument. He always held your hands when he had his way with you, wanting more than just your cunt to squeeze him tight, he wanted to feel the rest of your body shake. You’ve left him with marks before, and he’d happily welcome them now.

“At a girl, still know who owns you.”

    You swear you saw white when he made you cum, drool slipping down your face. It was only your second orgasm, but you knew they could get more out of you. As many as they pleased. There was a safe word in place, but in all the years you had known them, you never used it. They seemed to know your limits as well as you did. Before you could even properly come down Jeno was already kissing at your chest, sucking on your nipples as he edged himself inside. The noise that was heard as he pushed aside everyone else’s seed to get in, an all too familiar sound you did quite enjoy to hear.

“You’re already so full, baby, can you take more?”

“Yes…”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

    These sheets were gonna need to be thrown out when you were all done. You were already creating such a mess, and it wasn’t much compared to other nights. At least not yet. Jeno was practically digging into you, pushing in as cum came out. They had all had their turns before, being first or last or in the middle, so they wouldn’t complain about what stage they got to you. There were five of them after all, so they had to be good about sharing. Jeno was eager to make you unwind, so he gave you plenty of attention elsewhere. Twirling around your clit with his fingers, seeing it get red and swollen, another hand on your hip, keeping you from escaping him. He did it well enough you came first, already so sensitive, and he soon followed.

    You felt so fucken full you swear you were gonna burst, but you were just out of practice. Yuta peppered you with kisses, telling you how well you were doing. His fingers dipped into your sloppy cunt, having you get a taste of it. You certainly didn’t expect him to kiss you after, but they didn’t just play around with you. They had each other after all. You were already so overstimulated and lost, Yuta was kind enough to give you a little break before taking what was rightfully his. He had no problem playing around with your cunt for a while before dipping into the mess. He fit in nicely, having a pretty good idea how to keep you happy despite your state. He was ruthless, just as frustrated as Jaehyun, taking it all out on you and sparking you back to life. You really missed them.

    Now either the orgasm or Yuta made you pass out, but either way, you blacked out for a while. When you came to you were lying on the floor with your legs up in the air, clearly having fallen off to the side of the bed. Although Jeno was happily sleeping on your tummy, sighing dreamily and clearly cozy. You giggled at the sight. Sometimes you really did forget they were all close to your age, and yet living such different lives. You let Jeno stay for a while before you realized this position was very uncomfortable. You poked Jeno’s face to make him open his eyes.

“Why didn’t you pick me up? Do you think this is comfortable?”

“You looked cute, almost like you were drunk.”

“But I’m not.”

“Well, maybe not drunk off alcohol.” Jeno giggled and got up. “We were all out of it.”

“Obviously.”

    You got up, sitting down properly, well aware that you were leaking cum all over the floor, but that wasn’t for you to worry about now. Some of the others were lying in bed, and you crawled up to join them, pressing lazy kisses to exposed skin. This was all a little break for everyone. The night was still young, and even if you were four orgasms in, it was just one for each of them. They were greedy, and would certainly get what they wanted out of you, whether you were conscious or not. Waking up with a cock inside you wasn’t new, but certainly something you could picture for a night like this.

🖤

    You didn’t actually wake up properly until the afternoon. After that you knew the next day would be nothing but a lazy day. Somehow you managed to get up and get into the shower, knowing you needed a deep clean. Although you dozed off until Yuta found you sitting in the tub. He had the energy to join you and help clean you up, which you were grateful for. You returned the favor as well, the two of you the first to eat lunch from room service, waiting around for the others. When you were well enough you stepped out of the penthouse so they could clean up, heading to a park to enjoy the weather and sun. 

    The rest of your little trip was like that. You had some more fun at night, but not too much. Besides, you’d be going off with your friends, and you didn’t need to be completely worn out. Overall it was a good trip, a good last trip, one you knew you’d never forget. When the time came they dropped you off back at Uni, wishing you well with your friends, asking you to let them know if you needed anything. You thanked them for the adventure, glad you could still have all that. It felt more authentic given that this was really you going out with them as friends, not getting paid for your company.

    Of course at some point your friends had to ask about your little trip. Anyone who knew you now knew about your sugar daddies, so there was no point lying about it. You spilled what you were comfortable with, and just enjoyed your time with them. You couldn’t believe this was your last spring break, but you were so happy to have them with you. It was hard to fall asleep Sunday night, knowing what awaited you the next day, but you had enough good memories to get you through the door. So come Monday morning, you weren’t actually dead as you got to class, unlike most of your peers.

    The professors weren’t all going to be kind, so it was back to work like before. This was the final stretch for you, focus and study hard, and you’d be graduating. A part of you couldn’t actually believe it, but you had to, you couldn’t fuck this up. So you put a lot off to the side, including the boys. You still texted them, but you couldn’t do any mini dates, and they were very understanding. Even if you were the one working your butt off, they were just as nervous and as excited as you were. Although all that focus distracted you from something that was just as important.

“Holy shit, I’m late.”

“What?”

“I was due like last week. Fuck.”

“Aren’t you on the pill?”

“That’s not foolproof.”

“Fair. Are you sure it isn’t stress though? I’m pretty sure I’ve missed a period or two cause of classes.”

“I don’t think I have before…”

“Well you are gonna graduate in a month. That is if you pass your finals.”

“Don’t fucken jynx it!”

“I’m just saying. You’ve probably never been stressed like this before. Athletes wind up not having a period for months cause of the stress they’re under.”

“I’m not a professional athlete.”

“Then go buy a pregnancy test and see if one of your sugar daddies is gonna be a father.”

“I wouldn’t fucken tell them. We’ve always been careful.”

“Then it’s just the stress. Problem solved. Also, don’t you have class soon?”

“Fuck. I do. I’ll get a pregnancy test later.”

“Cool, see you later.”

    You really didn’t think you’d be pregnant. You were careful, for the last four years, and you were very sexually active. Mina had a point though, you were under a lot of stress with graduation, but you had to be sure. Thankfully instead of buying one you remember the boys had given you some when they got you the pills. After classes you returned and used one of the tests, relieved to see it came out negative. So it really was just stress, and you were quite amazed it could do that to your body. Regardless, that was one less thing to worry about.

    To a degree you did feel bad you couldn’t see the boys after spring break, it had been quite a trip considering it was the last, but your academics were important. They wished you luck with finals, and you were ready for the last major exams of your life. You waited anxiously for the results, overjoyed that you had passed, and you were going to graduate. You had to celebrate, doing so with your friends. It was only once things wound down that you called the boys wanting to share the news.

“So, how did it go?”

“I passed… I’m graduating!”

“I knew you could do it.” Jeno cheered. “Our baby is so smart.”

“We’ve got to celebrate.” Johnny added. “Shall we pick you up?”

“I’ve already been partying, and I’m kinda spent. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Nah, it’s okay, you should rest. Don’t drink so much, okay.”

“I haven’t had a drink, can’t risk becoming a drunk mess before I take the stage.”

“Can we take you shopping!” Yuta asked. “Get you a nice dress for graduation?”

“I’d love that actually. Perhaps the one thing you guys can get me that I’ll keep.”

“If we don’t rip it off you.”

“True. Tomorrow then, shopping day.”

“We can’t wait.”

    Shopping wasn’t something to make a big deal out of, but how could you all not be excited. You’d be walking across the stage in the outfit you bought today, it had to be perfect. Not to mention the five guys buying it might wanna destroy it later, so you had to get good pictures first.

“We were thinking, after the ceremony, we’d take you out to dinner.”

“The last dinner.”

“Of course.” Ten smiled. “If that’s okay.”

“Yeah. It seems like a fitting end for us.”

“You better not cry.”

“I won’t.”

“Hm, guess we’ll see about that.”

    The big day brought on a lot of nerves, you could barely sleep the night before. Although when the sun was up, you and Mina were already getting dolled up, and she loved your outfit.

“You look hot.”

“Thanks.”

“So you really can’t come with me for dinner.”

“I already promised the boys. It’s the last one. Besides, I wanna see what kind of graduation present they get me.”

“Oh, they’ll probably give you a lot of money. Maybe a house.”

“That’d be awesome.”

“You better tell me immediately.”

“I’m sure I won’t be able to keep it a secret from you, so don’t worry.”

    Even if you looked stunning, it was mostly hidden by the gown. Still, you looked incredible and you couldn’t believe you had made it to the end. When you headed to the ceremony you looked around taking it all in. Even if you wanted your family there, you knew things had come up so they couldn’t attend. It’s why you were so happy to see the boys, knowing they were there for you. Although they did embarrass you a bit, Jeno and Yuta having a big congratulations sign, the others swinging around noise makers. Of course it dragged to wait for your name, but when it was your turn up on the stage you had the biggest smile, finding the boys in the crowd to show off too.

    You had tears in your eyes, so happy that all your efforts hadn’t been in vain. The boys had made their way over to you, embracing you in their arms, congratulating you over and over again. They said your tears were cute, but they were very proud of you. They even had flowers and a graduation bear as a present for you. They wanted pictures too, so you did your best to get rid of the tears and fix your makeup. After celebrating with your other friends and seeing the ceremony to the end you headed off to eat. You weren’t really hungry from all the adrenaline, but it was your last meal with the guys, and a very important one at that.

“You looked so beautiful up there.” Johnny complimented. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you could be there.”

“Us too.”

“So, what did you get me?”

“After you eat.” Ten said. “So be a good girl and have your fill.”

“I’ll burn a hole in your wallet tonight. Just watch.”

“I’d love to see you try.”

    There was something so peaceful about this meal, and exciting. They all asked about your plans going forward, what you wanted to do. Of course this was where you’d part ways, but you knew there was always a chance you’d run into each other again. Despite all the good things, you couldn’t help but wonder what your present was. After dessert they finally presented you with a little box. Now your heart was racing. It could be a key to a car or house, or maybe a card to a bank account they had made you. Still, you thanked them all and opened the box. Your smile faltered as you stared at the contents, dumbfounded.

“It’s… it’s a pregnancy test…”

“Surprise!”

“I… I don’t understand…”

“Well, you always talked about your future.” Jaehyun explained. “And how we weren’t a part of that. It really hurt, but you were right. So we figured we should include ourselves in your future.”

“I’m not… following…”

“You’re late, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I took a pregnancy test already. It came out negative. The stress-”

“The one I gave you was fake.” Ten said. “It’s meant to come out negative.”

“What… what are you…”

“The best way to become a part of your future is for you to have our kid.” Yuta stated. “Of course we’re probably not gonna know which of us is the biological father, unless you had like quintuplets, but we can raise it together.”

“What…”

“Of course we’ll cover all the expenses.” Johnny assured. “So you don’t have to worry about food, or a roof over your head, nothing. We’re gonna be a big happy family now.”

“You’re… you’re lying… you… I’m on the pill!”

“Those were also fake.” Jeno added. “A placebo thing, right? Like sugar.”

“You planned this!”

“How else were we gonna be part of your future?”

“Truth is we always imagined a future with you.” Ten admitted. “After about a year, we realized how great you were, how perfect you were for us. So when you suddenly broke it off, we couldn’t believe it, but you were also right. We never really let you know we wanted you, so that’s on us, but we’ve rectified that now.”

“You’re fucken lying!” You stood up. “You did not get me fucken pregnant!”

“Shall we go confirm that?”

    You were furious, and you hated that they were throwing this idea out so casually. You took the pregnancy test and stormed off to the bathroom. They had rented out the whole restaurant, so you didn’t have to worry about anyone else. You nervously used the test, scared to look at the results, but they were clear as day.

“Positive…”

“Congratulations!!!”

    The boys had followed you to the bathroom, cheering and letting off confetti poppers. You stayed frozen in shock, trying to process this.

“It’s wrong… the test…”

“You can try again.” Jaehyun threw more pregnancy tests on the floor. “Better to use more than one anyway.”

“You… you…”

“Even if there wasn’t a baby inside you right now.” Yuta explained. “We’d have plenty of time to impregnate you now that you’ve graduated.”

“No… no you’re all fucken nuts…”

    You threw the test in the trash and intended to leave, only for Johnny to grab your arm, holding you back. Jeno was all over your belly, grabbing it and making baby noises.

“Easy now, baby. Now that you’re carrying our kid, we gotta take special care of you.”

“I am not having this baby!”

“That’s not up for debate.”

“It’s my body! And you fucken-”

“You think you can just play with us for four years?!” Jaehyun grabbed your chin, making you face him. ���Four years, baby doll. That’s a lot of time to fall in love with a beautiful body and the girl that inhabits it. We weren’t playing, and we’re not gonna let you either. Your future is ours.”

“Fuck you! I didn’t consent to this! I’m not-” Jaehyun’s grip got tighter. “Let go…”

“You gotta be careful baby, don’t want you hurting yourself or the kid. We have a nice place picked out where we can look after you.”

“Let go!”

“Listen closely, darling.” Ten had Jaehyun let you go, stepping before you. “If anything happens to that baby, you are going to pay dearly for it. And don’t get any silly ideas in your head, you’re still young and very fertile, we have no problem tying you up and breeding you every night if something happens. So be a good girl, and smile, you’re gonna be a mother.”

“You’re crazy!”

“And you’re very hormonal, must be the baby. We should get you home.”

“No, no! Fucken let me go!”

“I can’t wait for the pregnant waddle.” Jeno cheered. “You’re gonna get so big!”

“I wonder if it’ll be a boy or girl.” Yuta said. “Maybe there’s more than one in there!”

“That’d be so cool.” 

“We’re gonna be dads!”

“I can’t wait!”

#nct #johnny #ten #jaehyun #yuta #jeno #suh youngho #chittaphon leechaiyapornkul #jung jaehyun #nakamoto yuta #lee jeno #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct u #nct au #nct yandere #nct imagines #nct scenarios #i hope i didnt overdo it with this... #request

[syuga-s]

my love mine all mine

w.c 7.8 k pairing. Johnny x afab!reader genre. fluff, angst, slight smut a/n. MDNI!!!!! people are a mess in the first part, a.k.a. cheaters, Jaehyun and Mark cameo!, there's a part with smut [don't hesitate to skip it, it's very fluffy overall tho] tiny alcohol consumption nothing crazy 🤝

t/w. the smut obviously and an uncomfortable moment with a friend[Jaehyun]

It all started when Sarah's boyfriend found out she was cheating. He was a mess, not knowing what to do or who to turn to, he came to you to try and find some sense of the situation.

Tuesday morning. He was waiting for you to get out of your class. Your friend, Lisa, was with you, both trying to discuss an upcoming test. But Jaehyun didn't care about that, nor the fact that they would be hearing about his problem. He knew that it was only a matter of time until every single soul on campus would know about his relationship and the fact that his girlfriend was a cheater.

He made sure to tell you everything he knew and how he found out. Jaehyun wanted you to help him find who was she cheating with. Matter of fact he already had someone in mind, actually.

Sarah's been one of your best friends since 13 years ago. If someone were to know her best, it was you or Danielle. But Jaehyun came to you, so now you had to get into their little mess. Which maybe you shouldn't have but, here we are.

Jaehyun planned this. He saw the opportunity now that Sarah had gone to an engineering seminar this week and wouldn't be coming back until Sunday night. It would give him plenty of time to figure some things out.

Jaehyun thought Sarah was cheating on him with Johnny.

They were at the same seminar out of town, so it was checking out for him.

But it couldn't be Johnny?

Johnny was with you.

Your thing was a secret though, it's been months since you started seeing each other.

It was your decision for you to be a secret, Johnny accepted it without thinking twice, all he wanted was for you to be with him, people knowing or not didn't matter to him.

Johnny was 2 years older. You’d met him at a café. You knew you wanted to be with him when you realized you were a shy mess the following times you were around him. To him, you had this cute baby energy that was much more than what you let everyone else see. He was sure he wanted to be with you based on how he felt when your eyes decided to look at him.

He didn't want to put much thought into why you decided to keep everything a secret. Secretly he was a romantic who had traditional dating views, styles, approaches. Whatever you want to call it. But he liked the change you represented in his life. He then also decided that he wanted to be with you and that having a secret relationship didn't necessarily mean you couldn't go out on dates or do what every couple does. Except act like one when you're around friends.

You didn't exactly kept his existence a secret. You just started introducing him to your friends without much explanation. He was your Johnny. You all hung out together as if he was just a new addition to the group. You didn't know if your friends were oblivious to the vibe you and Johnny had or just acted like it for your sake. Nevertheless, everyone was happy to have him around, he was like everyone's best friend, especially Sarah and Danielle’s. Which made you happy, too.

As much as they were your best friends, you didn't want to tell them about your relationship with him. Nothing personal but, it was just something you wanted to keep between yourself and him.

It was Thursday and you sent Johnny a text when you woke up. "Are you coming home with me as soon as you arrive on Sunday?" You knew he was going to, he had told you so way before he left.

It's just that you've been feeling weird all week. Everyone had messed up with your head and your relationship. Everyone had logical arguments about how Johnny and Sarah had something going on. Regardless of you knowing that Johnny wouldn't do that to you. It had you second-thinking about what you had decided earlier in the relationship. "If everyone had known we were together, this wouldn't be happening". It had you feeling insecure and sure you made a mistake in hiding what you had with your boyfriend.

But also, what's so special about Sarah and Johnny's relationship that had people thinking they were seeing each other? More importantly, something so special that was making your best friend cheat on her boyfriend.

Sarah and Johnny were both engineer majors and ever since you introduced them you knew they were going to get along well. So it didn't come as a shock to you that they texted every now and then. Him being far ahead of her made sense to you for them to talk outside your gatherings. Still, there were two times when she made you feel weird about it all. Which you couldn't help but think about while all of this was unfolding.

Johnny told you she had reached out to him through Facebook a while ago, and you thought nothing about it. But that time when she sent a screenshot to the group chat about them talking about some football match that was coming up, had you kinda confused. But nothing that you couldn't talk yourself out of. They were being friends and that was some normal friend talk.

But that second time. My god, that second time.

You and all your friends were planning to go out one night. Danielle, Sarah, and you were the ones deciding where to go. Simple as that. But a text made you feel as if someone slapped your face out of nowhere. "I already invited Johnny!!!!" What the fuck.

Next thing you knew, you were shouting to yourself in your room. "Doesn't she have a boyfriend? WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING INVITING MINE?!!" It was loud enough, trust me.

But as soon as those words came out of your mouth, Johnny texted you.

? Attached 1 picture.

As simple as his action was, it comforted you in all the ways you needed. Knowing that his course of action was to ask you what was going on felt huge. Your negative feelings didn't even have room to grow because he made sure to let you know that his mind was with you. Later in the day, when he got to your apartment, you both talked about how weird that was. You told Johnny you felt a pang of jealousy as soon as you saw her text. "I have no intentions of sharing you, I hope you know that".

The seminar came to an end, and Sarah would return from her trip that night. Jaehyun needed to talk to someone at this very moment. His anxiety consumed him, still not knowing how to talk to your best friend, his girlfriend.

It also meant that Johnny would be coming home to you tonight. You guessed that going out and getting back before him would be alright. So you let him know that you were out with Jaehyun and some other friends.

While you were in a smoke break outside of the bar where everyone was, you were casually talking with Jaehyun.

He began sharing his thoughts about all of that was unfolding with Sarah.

You were the only best friend Jaehyun had, the only person who knew how to really listen to him, so he figured he could sort out his feelings and his thoughts and you’d help.

He asked if you thought an individual could talk or even kiss someone else without meaning anything while still being in a relationship.

You said you didn't know. You said you were still a romantic at heart, so if you were already with someone you wouldn't dare break the trust they had in you. “I can’t even imagine doing that.”

He started telling you that in all his previous relationships, all the friends of the particular girlfriend, flirted and crossed the line with him. He explicitly said that he thought that those things didn't matter, that if he played along with them was because they meant nothing to him, it was plain fun for him.

You told him you understood what he was saying. “It all comes down to how you feel about your partner.”

“Hell as long as you get to that kind of arrangement with them I think it’d be alright .”

He asked if you had cheated before.

”Well, basically yes, but it didn't count because the guy wasn't even my boyfriend.” — “I did hook up with two of his friends at the time.” You let out a bitter laugh at the thought.

He kept explaining to you how he felt or what he usually feels in order to have an ‘affair’. You were expecting it. You didn't want the words to get out of his mouth, but you did expect them, dreading them.

"What if we did that?" — "I get along pretty well with you, you're literally so cool, you listen to me, there's plenty of reasons for me to want to kiss you and I know it won't be a bad thing.”

A mix of emotions flooded through you—confusion, shock. You had built a strong bond with Jaehyun, but this proposition was dangerous territory, threatening the very foundation of your friendship.

You turned your eyes to look at the door of the bar you had in front and took a drag of your cigarette. Then you patted Jaehyun’s back. In that moment, you had a choice to make—one that would have lasting consequences. And as you looked into Jaehyun’s eyes, you gathered the strength to respond, your voice laced with a mix of resolution and vulnerability.

“Let’s not risk losing this friendship Jae.” You continued. “You’re just going through something difficult.”

Later that night, Jaehyun offered to give you a ride home. Little did you know that this ride would become a turning point, a catalyst for even more confusion. As you sat in the passenger seat, a heavy tension filled the air, palpable and suffocating.

Jaehyun’s actions spoke volumes, even as words remained unspoken. His fingers found their way to your hand, and with each stroke, you could feel the weight of his struggle. It was a dangerous dance, a forbidden connection that should never have existed, considering he was still in a relationship with Sarah.

His fingers began to stroke yours, tracing delicate patterns that mirrored the delicate intricacies of the connection he was feeling. Each movement was laden with tenderness, as if he was wanting to caress not just your hand, but your very soul. The weight of his actions was palpable, his touch carrying the knowledge that he shouldn't be doing this, that it crossed boundaries he had vowed to respect.

Yet, at that moment, all rational thought faded into insignificance, overshadowed by the rawness of your friendship. It was as if time stood still, allowing this stolen moment to unfold, heedless of the consequences it may bring.

Jaehyun’s touch spoke volumes, whispering secrets and desires that words could never fully convey.

Confusion engulfed your mind as you wrestled with conflicting emotions. The lines blurred, and the boundaries you thought were steadfast began to crumble. What did his touch mean? Was it a desperate plea for solace, a cry for understanding, or simply a selfish act of betrayal? You longed for the ride to end, hoping that escaping the confined space of the car would offer clarity or, at the very least, a respite from the swirling chaos.

With each stroke, Jaehyun seemed to etch this moment into his memory. The lines of your palm, the delicate curve of your fingers—everything became a canvas for his affectionate exploration.

As the weight of the moment hung in the air, you turned to the simple act of resting your head on the window of Jaehyun’s car. It was an instinctual response, a way to create a sense of shielding yourself from the intensity of his gaze.

Your decision to avert your eyes from his was partly out of avoidance.

Instead, your gaze traveled to the entwined hands—his and yours—held together in a delicate embrace.

Every passing moment dragged on, the silence between you both growing more deafening with each mile. The weight of unspoken words hung heavy, suffocating any chance for coherent thought. You were trapped in a labyrinth of tangled emotions, desperately seeking an escape route.

As you finally arrived at your place, a mix of relief and apprehension washed over you. Stepping out of the car, you felt an invisible tether snap, freeing you from the suffocating atmosphere that had clouded your judgment. It was a brief respite, a momentary release from the confusion that threatened to consume you.

He stepped out of the car and walked around to your side, an unspoken understanding passing between you. The weight of the situation hung in the air, as both of you knew that this moment was crucial.

Jaehyun walked beside you, his presence a comforting yet conflicting force. With every step, the space between you seemed to hold a thousand unspoken words that danced on the edge of forbidden territory.

In that fleeting moment, Jaehyun enveloped you in a hug, his embrace both weird yet familiar. His lips brushed against your cheek in a gentle, lingering kiss, leaving a trace of longing and uncertainty in its wake.

Your heart raced, conflicted emotions swirling within you like a tempest. It was a bittersweet gesture, filled with affection and desire, but also tinged with the knowledge of the boundaries that had been crossed. At that moment, the weight of your choices and their consequences hung heavily upon your shoulders.

As you pulled away from the embrace, a mixture of gratitude and unease flooded your being. The complexity of the situation became even more apparent. It was a crossroad, a moment where you had to decide which relationships to prioritize and the impact of your actions on those you cared about.

With a heavy heart, you watched Jaehyun get back to his car, his presence lingering in your thoughts. The echoes of the night resonated within you.

Closing the door behind you, you stood alone in the quiet of your home. The boundaries of your friendships had been tested.

How could Jaehyun and Sarah betray each other in such a way? And why did you have to get dragged into the picture? Guilt gnawed at your conscience.

The glow from your phone screen caught your attention. It was a message from Johnny, a simple yet deeply caring question: "Did you get home safe, baby? I’m on my way to you already" The term of endearment made your heart flutter.

The contrasting emotions of the evening surged within you, creating a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Jaehyun’s touch still lingered, the weight of his actions pressing against your conscience. And yet, Johnny's message served as a grounding force, a reminder of the love you had with him.

Your mind raced as you contemplated how to respond. Part of you yearned to pour out the complexities of the evening, to share the turmoil that had taken hold of your heart. But another part of you hesitated, fearful of making Johnny think that you had betrayed the trust and connection you had built with him.

In the end, you chose to respond with a simple yet reassuring message: "Yes, I'm home safe baby. thanks for asking, are you close??" It was a way to acknowledge his concern and to convey that you were physically safe, without delving into the emotional turmoil that had unfolded.

As you hit send, a sense of guilt washed over you. You knew that secrets were corrosive to relationships, and the weight of the unspoken weighed heavily on your conscience.

Taking a deep breath, you resolved to confront the complexity of your emotions head-on.

As the weight of the evening's events continued to bear down on you, a profound longing for the comfort and solace of Johnny's presence overwhelmed your senses. The internal turmoil left you yearning for his loving embrace, the reassurance that only he could provide.

Unable to ignore the depth of your emotions any longer, you found yourself typing out another message to Johnny. The words flowed from your fingertips, carrying the raw vulnerability that consumed your being. "My love, I need to tell you something and it can’t wait, pls tell me you’re literally at the door :("

In that moment, it wasn't just the physical act of being in Johnny's arms that you craved—it was the emotional refuge that he offered. His hugs had always been a balm for your soul, a source of comfort that could ease the most burdensome of thoughts. It was in his embrace that you found solace and a sense of belonging.

As you hit send, a mix of anticipation and anxiety coursed through you. You hoped that Johnny would understand the urgency and depth of your plea, recognizing the vulnerability that compelled you to reach out immediately a second time.

With each passing second, you anxiously awaited his response, your heart beating in rhythm with the ticking clock. The silence seemed interminable, the weight of your own emotions threatening to drown out the world around you.

And then, just as doubt began to creep in, a familiar chime cut through the air, signaling the arrival of a message from Johnny. The screen illuminated with his words of reassurance and love, providing a lifeline for your aching heart. "your man is here baby".

As you welcomed your boyfriend, you jumped to embrace him in a warm, comforting hug, one that you needed the most. The weight of the evening's events began to lift, replaced by a sense of security and love. His laughter filled the room, serving as a gentle reminder that you were not alone in navigating the complexities of life and relationships.

Together, you made your way to bed, seeking the solace of shared intimacy. As you nestled into the comfort of the covers, you knew that Johnny was the only person you could confide in about the events that had unfolded. With him, there was an unspoken trust.

You began narrating the events of the past week, from the moment Jaehyun entered your life with his troubled relationship to the intense car ride and the conflicting emotions that had left you feeling wounded by it all.

The anguish in your voice was evident as you lamented the pain of being treated like a mere object and the disappointment that came from those you had trusted betraying your friendship. The thought of Jaehyun, the boyfriend of your best friend, crossing boundaries with you weighed heavily on your conscience, and you asked Johnny for forgiveness for allowing it to happen.

“I don't know, Johnny. It's just...everything with Jaehyun and Sarah. It's all been so overwhelming.” You sighed.

“It's just been a lot to process. Like, I never expected Jaehyun to come to me for help with his relationship problems. And then there's the whole thing with people saying Sarah is cheating on him with you...it's just a mess.”

His furrowed brows and slightly parted lips revealed his dumbfounded state.

"Wait, what?" Johnny's voice held a note of genuine bewilderment. He couldn't help but feel a rush of confusion as he tried to reconcile the events you were describing with the relationship he knew he had with you.

As you continued, mentioning the rumors about Sarah cheating on her boyfriend with him, Johnny's eyes widened in disbelief. His mind raced, attempting to make sense of how such unfounded rumors could have circulated. It was clear that he was taken aback, not just by the situation itself, but also by the fact that people could even suggest such a thing.

His eyes locked onto yours, searching for a thread of understanding. "Sarah and me? Cheating?" His voice held a mix of disbelief and genuine innocence. "I mean, she’s your best friend, I think she’s nice, but I've never had any kind of romantic ~thing~ with her. I don't know where that shit’s coming from."

“I know, Johnny. That's why I love what we have. There's no one else I have ever trusted more than you.” — “and it pains me because all this week I’ve been beating myself up for not telling everyone that you’re mine, if I had done that simple action, none of this would have happened.”

But as you continued, recounting the intensity of the car ride and the pain you felt from being betrayed by someone you considered a friend, Johnny's brows furrowed. The pain in your voice resonated with him, the depth of your emotions hitting close to home.

Your words hung in the air, a tangible weight that both of you felt deeply. And then, when you asked for his forgiveness, for letting that happen.

A mixture of surprise and sadness washed over Johnny's features. He gently reached out, his fingers lifting your chin so that your eyes met his.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice a gentle reassurance. "You don't need to ask for my forgiveness. You've done nothing wrong. You're not responsible for other people's actions, and you definitely don't have to say sorry for our relationship, remember I agreed to this too."

“We’re not at fault for all the mistakes your friends are making.”

He hated that you felt like that and even realized that he loved you more than he thought when he reminisced about the part when you told Jaehyun that you would never imagine breaking your partner's trust.

“Johnny. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

He wrapped his arms around you and said “You don't have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere baby.” — “No one has ever placed such unwavering trust in me before. Thank you for not believing what everyone was saying about Sarah and me.”

As the moonlight gently spilled into the room, the ambiance was serene, creating an atmosphere charged with anticipation. Your heart pounded, echoing in your ears, you were sat on the edge of the bed.

Your eyes locked with Johnny's. In that moment, it felt as if time ceased to exist, and all that mattered was the connection between you.

Your conversation had been filled with intense emotions, revealing the depths of your love for each other. It had been a delicate dance of vulnerability. The tension between you grew with every word shared, until it reached its peak, and the both of you knew without a doubt that this was the moment you had been waiting for all week.

Johnny, with eyes that glimmered with affection, moved closer to you, his hand instinctively brushing against yours. You could feel the heat radiate from his touch, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. Your fingers delicately intertwined, the electricity between them intensified, creating an invisible force that drew you closer together.

When Jaehyun's hand enveloped yours, there was an air of tension, an undercurrent of fickleness that seemed to color the interaction. The touch left you feeling unsettled, a sense of discomfort gnawing at your thoughts. The weight of his actions created an atmosphere of unease, one that was difficult to shake off.

In contrast, when Johnny held your hand, the sensation was entirely different. His touch was gentle yet firm, a silent promise of support and unwavering love for you. The warmth that radiated from his grasp was a balm for your soul, a reminder that you were not alone in facing whatever was thrown at you. It was a touch that spoke volumes, conveying his devotion and understanding without the need for words.

With Johnny, everything felt like —a tangible expression of the love and trust you shared. His touch exuded a sense of safety, an assurance that you were cherished and protected. The way his fingers intertwined with yours felt like an unspoken vow, a reminder that he was there to stand by your side through thick and thin.

Jaehyun's touch left you questioning his intentions, while Johnny's touch reaffirmed your bond. The contrast between the two experiences illustrated the power of genuine connection versus superficial gestures.

In that instance, your gazes became magnets, irresistibly pulling them toward each other. Your lips inches apart, you nervously shared breaths, your anticipation building with every passing second. You could feel the rise and fall of Johnny's chest, mirroring your own erratic heartbeat.

With bated breath, you closed your eyes, surrendering yourselves completely to the moment.

Your lips met, igniting a spark that could set the world aflame. It started slowly, a gentle exploration of passion, expressing more than mere words ever could. Your mouths moved together with a tenderness, a delicate dance that conveyed their longing, desire, and most of all, a profound love that had been waiting to be unleashed.

As your kiss deepened, your connection became more intense, an intertwining of souls. Every touch, every lingering caress, manifested your commitment to each other. Time stood still, and the rest of the world faded into the background, completely irrelevant in the face of your love.

You broke apart only when the need for breath became too strong, your foreheads resting against each other. You were breathless, your eyes searching each other for confirmation, for the knowledge that this night had sealed your fate together.

Johnny knew that this kiss was not merely a physical connection.

As you continued to hold each other, your hands instinctively explored, fingers gently tracing the contours of each other's backs. A soft sigh escaped your lips.

Your bodies molded together seamlessly, every curve and contour fitting as if you were two halves of a whole. In the warmth of the moment, an unspoken longing hung in the air. Your eyes met a connection sparking like a flame. Time seemed to slow, stretching the moment into eternity. And in that perfect stillness, both knew what was about to unfold.

Your lips brushed together in a tentative, feather-light touch, a whisper of a promise. The sensation sent shivers down his spine.

With a newfound urgency, your lips met properly once again.

This time with an intensity that mirrored the depth of your emotions. His kisses deepened, a symphony of desire and longing intertwining your souls. You lost yourselves in the exquisite dance of your mouths, tongues caressing and exploring, a sensual rhythm that spoke volumes of your shared passion.

The world around you ceased to exist as your bodies molded together. Hands roamed with fervor, fingers tangling in hair, tracing the contours of backs, and gripping onto each other as if you were afraid to let go.

You leaned back against the pillows behind you with a contented smile. Johnny couldn't resist reaching out to trace the curve of your neckline with his finger, causing you to shiver pleasantly. His hand lingered there for a moment longer than necessary, taking in the softness of your skin and the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

You closed your eyes, savoring the warmth spreading throughout your body as Johnny's touch ignited a fiery sensation within you. You bit your lip gently, trying to suppress the moan that threatened to escape from your throat.

Across the room, Johnny watched in awe as your expression transformed from calm serenity to burning desire right before his very eyes. His heart raced with anticipation, eager to explore the depths of emotion that lay hidden behind those captivating brown eyes.

"Baby," he whispered hoarsely, reaching out to cup your face in his hands. "Do you want me right now?"

You nodded without hesitation, your lips parting slightly to reveal the soft pink flesh inside. Johnny couldn't resist the urge to dip his head forward and capture those lips with his own, kissing you deeply and passionately until you both lost track of time.

He could feel your breath coming faster and shallower, your chest rising and falling against his own.

Your eyes remained closed, lost in the ecstasy of his kisses as he trailed them down your jawline to your neck. He suckled gently at the tender skin there, eliciting a soft moan of pleasure from your lips.

In response, Johnny grew bolder, exploring the contours of your body with his hands. He slid them underneath your shirt, tracing the curves of your waist and hips before moving higher up to stroke the sensitive flesh above your breasts.

You let out a sharp intake of breath, arching your back as waves of pleasure coursed through your body.

Johnny paused for a moment, savoring the sight of your bared torso quivering with excitement. Then, with a determined smile, he unfastened the clasp of your bra and pushed it aside, revealing two perfect mounds that trembled enticingly before him.

His lips parted hungrily as he captured one nipple between his teeth, suckling hard until it stood erect under his tongue.

You writhed restlessly against him, whimpering softly as you arched your back even further. Johnny moved on to your other breast, lavishing equal attention upon it, eliciting cries of delight and helpless arousal from your lips. Your breath came faster still, the soft rise and fall of your chest intensifying your need for him.

The sounds of your mutual desire filled the otherwise silent room, creating an erotic scenery that only heightened the intensity of this very moment.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Johnny took your hands in his own, lifting them to guide you toward the edge of the bed. With gentle precision, he helped you lie down beside him, your delicate frame curving gracefully into the indentations left behind by his body. Your hearts thundered wildly in sync, a rhythm that spoke volumes about the passion burning within you both.

A shudder ran through you as you stretched your legs wide apart, inviting Johnny to come closer.

Your gaze locked once again, conveying a mixture of desire and tenderness. Johnny lowered himself carefully between your thighs, his muscular form seeming larger and more powerful now in comparison to your figure.

Slowly, he began to move his hands along your thighs, causing your breath to catch in your throat. Every touch sent shivers of anticipation through your nerves, awakening feelings of raw, unbridled passion you hadn't experienced before.

Gently, Johnny positioned himself between your spread legs, the heat from his body seeping into yours. He studied you, noticing your breath become shorter and shallower as he drew nearer. Reaching out slowly, he cupped your heat, finding it wet and swollen with desire. You gave a small gasp of surprise, breaking your eye contact briefly. Johnny smiled to himself, knowing he was about to give you a night you would never forget.

His fingers found your entrance, and he teased you with a soft, circular motion around your core.

He watched your reaction closely; the playful dance of emotions on your face, the way your brow furrowed in concentration, your cheeks flushing red with arousal. With each movement, he brought you closer to the precipice of ecstasy without quite letting you fall over the edge.

Your breath came in short, shallow gasps as your body quivered with anticipation. Your eyes met his, silently begging him to bring you to completion. Johnny nodded subtly, acknowledging your desires.

Slipping his fingers effortlessly into your folds, he gently massaged your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to send waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You arched your back, gripping tightly onto the sheets as you let out a low moan of pure euphoria. You could hardly believe the intensity of the sensations building inside you; the warmth of Johnny's touch combined with the exquisite tingling in your core was beyond anything you could have ever imagined.

With every thrust of his fingers, your breath hitched deeper, your body aching for release. Giving in to your instincts, you shifted your hips, encouraging Johnny to increase the pace and pressure of his touch. His eyes narrowed with satisfaction, knowing that he was bringing you closer to the peak of ecstasy.

Moans escaped your lips with increasing frequency as you neared the brink. The power dynamics shifted ever so slightly, now giving you control over him.

With newfound confidence, you guided Johnny's hands and mouth expertly, ensuring that every touch was precisely where you desired.

Johnny could see the fire blazing in your eyes, mirroring the inferno raging within him. The connection you shared seemed almost supernatural—a bond fueled by your undeniable chemistry and deep respect for one another.

Johnny gazed into your eyes, his expression a mix of adoration and reverence. He pulled you into a tender embrace, your bodies still entwined as if reluctant to let go of the intimacy you had just shared.

In the silence that followed, the weight of the week's chaos seemed to dissipate, replaced by the tranquility of the present moment. The contours of your bodies fit together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle finding their rightful place.

The following week you had invited your friends for a casual evening of dinner and drinks at your place. Sarah and Jaehyun were the first to arrive, finding Johnny already there, making himself comfortable by the kitchen island. The four of you chatted, sharing snippets of your week. Most importantly Sarah and Jaehyun mentioned they were still together, still working through things, and Johnny playfully teased them about ‘couple goals’. All you wanted was to land a smack to the back of your boyfriend's beautiful head.

Danielle and her boyfriend joined the gathering next, their laughter blending seamlessly with the lively atmosphere. Mark, being fashionably late, arrived with an armful of drinks, causing cheers and applause from the group. The evening unfolded with everyone having a great time, enjoying the drinks, praising your cooking as you gave the finishing touches to dinner. The cozy ambiance, the clinking of glasses, and the laughter filled your home with warmth.

Seizing the perfect moment when the joy was at its peak, you decided it was time. You took a deep breath, looking around at the faces of your closest friends, each one dear to you in their unique way.

“Guys, I actually been wanting to tell you something" you began, a playful smile dancing on your lips. Johnny, sitting beside you, squeezed your hand under the table in silent support.

Before you could go on, Mark chimed in and said "Oh my god, you're pregnant."

Getting everyone to laugh, Johnny being the one laughing the loudest, but as everyone kept giggling their eyes were starting to show concern.

"Jesus Mark, I wouldn't be drinking if I was," you replied, joining in the laughter. Johnny playfully nudged Mark, adding, "Man, you just killed the surprise."

Jaehyun, couldn't resist chiming in, "Well, I would’ve loved one of those gender reveal’s you see on TikTok. Like color bombs or confetti falling from the ceiling. But I guess a quiet dinner is nice too."

The momentary diversion diffused your tension, and now, with everyone still chuckling, the atmosphere held a perfect balance between humor and anticipation. It was the ideal setting for letting your friends know you’ve been keeping a secret from them for months.

"Johnny and I have been seeing each other for a while now."

A ripple of surprise and realization spread across your friends' faces. Sarah, Danielle, Jaehyun and Mark exchanged glances, the puzzle pieces falling into place. Johnny grinned, his affectionate gaze fixed on you.

"On a serious note, though," you began, glancing around at each of your friends, "I need to say something before anything else. I know we've been keeping this a secret for a while, and I understand if that felt a bit... I don't know, like we were excluding you. But believe me, it was never about that. Johnny and I just wanted to make sure what we had was real before bringing it out into the open."

Johnny nodded in agreement, his eyes reflecting the same sincerity. "Yeah, we wanted it to be solid between us. Not that we doubted, but, you know, it's different when it's just the two of us."

You could sense a shift in the atmosphere, a comprehension in your friends' eyes. Sarah and Danielle exchanged a look, a silent conversation passing between them. Jaehyun, though still wearing a playful smile, showed a glimmer of understanding.

"I get it," Mark said, raising his glass, "We've all been there in different ways. Here's to keeping things real and, apparently, a surprise that's not a baby."

As the initial shock wore off, your friends began bombarding Johnny with questions and teasing remarks. He fielded them with a good-natured laugh, a perfect balance of humor and sincerity. Amid the banter, he leaned over to whisper in your ear, "Totally worth it, don't you think?" You nodded, feeling the shared joy of revealing your relationship to the world, or at least your cherished friend group.

"I can’t believe you guys have kept this ‘secret’ for so long" Danielle grinned, her excitement contagious. "Spill!, how did it happen? And why the secrecy? I need the tea!”

Johnny chimed in, his tone playful, "What do you mean 'secret'?" He made air quotes with his fingers, a mock-innocent expression on his face. "Were we that obvious?”

"Well, 'secret' might be a bit of an exaggeration," you replied, emphasizing the air quotes. "But, yeah, we did keep it on the down-low for a while. As for how it happened..." You exchanged a conspiratorial glance with Johnny, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

Johnny leaned back, feigning surprise. "Wait, are you telling me we're a secret couple? I thought we were just being cool and mysterious."

A few days ago, you and Johnny sat in your favorite spot at the park, a hidden alcove shaded by vibrant greenery. The sunlight filtered through the leaves, casting a warm glow on both of you.

You took a deep breath, your hands tingling with anticipation. "Johnny, I think it's time we tell our friends about us," you suggested, eyes meeting his.

Johnny, always the joker, raised an eyebrow. "Tell them what? That we share the same taste in sandwiches? They already know that."

You chuckled, nudging him playfully. "No, I mean about us being together."

He feigned surprise, widening his eyes dramatically. "Together? When did that happen?" he teased.

You rolled your eyes, but there was a playful glint in them. "You knew the moment you laid eyes on me," you said, recalling that day when sparks seemed to fly between you two.

Johnny grinned, his expression softening. "Yeah, I did." He took your hand. "But seriously, why now? Why not keep it our little secret?"

You sighed, looking at the intertwined fingers. "Because, Johnny, our love is something to be shared. And, to be honest, I'm tired of not being able to jump at you when we’re around our friends. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep my hands to myself?"

Johnny's eyes widened, and then a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Oh, so you've been dying to jump at me, huh?"

"Maybe. And I think it's time everyone knows about it."

Johnny laughed, squeezing your hand. “Alright, alright. But how do we make it interesting? We can’t just drop it like that.”

You pondered for a moment, “What if we pretend like we were keeping it a secret to make sure it was real? You know, build up the suspense.”

Johnny laughed, nodding in approval. “I like it. Adds a bit of drama. Frees us from the guilt. Let’s do it. But just so you know, I knew it was real the moment I laid eyes on you.”

"So, how long have you been keeping this from us?" Jaehyun asked, with a forced grin.

Johnny threw an arm around your shoulders, grinning. "Well, you see, we're ancient. Been together forever now."

Jaehyun chuckled, "Come on, give me a real answer."

You shared a conspiratorial look with Johnny before revealing, "Alright, fine. It's been a few months."

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, "Months? Impressive."

Johnny said, “Yeah, that’s long enough to know secrets aren't always worth sharing." The atmosphere crackled with unresolved history, a quiet battlefield where the scars of unspoken words fought for acknowledgment.

"Clearly," Jaehyun replied, "I'm happy for you two.”

The memory of Jaehyun's words and actions lingered in the air, unspoken yet palpable. Johnny's demeanor remained tinged with passive-aggressiveness, a silent reproach echoing the discomfort from that night.

Feeling Johnny's tension rising, you discreetly pinched his leg under the table, a silent plea for him to keep his cool around Jaehyun. Surprisingly, instead of reacting, he responded with a subtle kiss on your temple, a quiet reassurance that he had everything under control.

Mark raised an eyebrow and asked, "So, are you two going to share the story of how you met? I remember Johnny just spawned in our lives, and we all had to act like it was the most normal thing in the world.”

Sarah leaned forward with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Don't leave out any juicy details.”

"So, there I was, being all mysterious in this café, attempting to look like I was doing something important on my laptop—typical Johnny stuff, you know?"

He glanced at you with a smirk, "And then, in she walked, like sunshine in human form. Now, you'd think fate would be on my side, but no, she didn't even notice me. Can you believe it? The great Johnny, overlooked. But here's the thing, I loved the challenge. It wasn't about being the center of attention; it was about grabbing her attention."

Taking a sip of his drink, Johnny continued, "So, I'm there, crafting my plan to make a grand entrance into her life, and she's completely unaware. Classic love story, right? Except, in my version, I'm the hero with a laptop."

Cue a teasing grin, "I finally get the guts to talk to her, and we start chatting about everything—our favorite movies, embarrassing childhood stories, you name it. But here's the secret sauce: I intentionally spilled coffee on myself just to make her laugh. And folks, it worked like a charm. Nothing like a stained shirt to break the ice."

He winked at you, "Now, fast forward through the laughter and coffee-stained confessions, and there it was—the moment. I realized I was in trouble, deep trouble. I was in love. But did I confess right then and there? Nah, I played it cool. Who falls in love at a café, right?"

He leaned in conspiratorially. "When she excused herself to go to the restroom, I texted our group chat, 'Guys, I think I'm in trouble.'”

"But let me tell you, that ordinary Tuesday was the day my life got an upgrade. And here's the thing, she still doesn't know about the intentional coffee spill. So, shh, it's our little secret. That’s how Johnny fell for the girl who could make him spill coffee on himself and still think he's the coolest guy around."

"And the secrecy," Johnny added, "that was mostly her idea. She wanted to make sure I wasn't just blinded by her dazzling personality."

You shot him a playful glare. "Oh, please. You were the one making jokes about wanting to make sure it was real before telling people. Mr. 'I knew it was real the moment I laid my eyes on you.'"

Amidst the laughter and teasing, Johnny leaned back, crossing his arms with a dramatic sigh. "Well, I had to play it cool, you know? Didn't want you to think I was head over heels from day one."

"Too late for that," you interjected, earning a mock offended look from Johnny.

Sarah recalled. "Remember the time we all went hiking, and you two disappeared for like an hour?"

Johnny grinned, mischief dancing in his eyes. "Oh, that? Just appreciating nature, you know."

Danielle, ever the curious one, raised an eyebrow, "What about that time you both disappeared during the beach on the 4th? We thought you got lost.”

Leaning back with a smirk, she added, "I also remember that rooftop dinner you invited us to. You guys just disappeared to 'check on dessert’.

Johnny shrugged, a playful smirk on his face. "Can you blame me? She looked way too good to resist.”

"I can't count the number of times we'd be at a party, and you two would vanish into thin air. Once, I even caught you sharing a jacket. Classic move, by the way.”

Jaehyun, feigning innocence, added his piece, "And the cafe, the one where you both supposedly 'met by chance'? Yeah, right. I remember walking in on you two in the middle of what seemed like a deep conversation."

You laughed, "We were just in the middle of choosing the right coffee blend, right babe?” Leaning into your boyfriend’s chest.

Mark's innocent demeanor cracked into a confused expression. "Man, you got me good. I thought you two were just really good friends, like the 'know-each-other's-favorite-snack' level of friendship."

Johnny chuckled, "Well, we are that too. Just with a few extra layers, you know? Keeps things interesting."

Sarah playfully nudged Mark, "Oh, come on, Mark. You didn't see the signs? The stolen glances, the synchronized laughter, the subtle touches? It was practically a rom-com in the making."

Mark scratched his head, looking at you both with newfound realization. "Wait, so all those times you guys were conveniently sitting next to each other, sharing food, and finishing each other's sentences... that was more than just friendship?"

Johnny laughed, giving you a teasing look. "Mark, my man, you're catching on. Took you a while, but you got there."

You playfully nudged Johnny and stood up. You went to hug Mark and say, "Don't blame our baby, he's not a hopeless romantic like us, that's all."

Mark chuckled and returned the hug. "Well, I guess I'm witnessing the birth of a romance expert here."

Your boyfriend joined the joke, "Don't worry, Mark, we'll give you some lessons. Relationship 101 with Johnny."

#nct 127 #johnny suh #suh youngho #nct johnny #johnny nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fic #nct fluff #nct angst #nct x reader #nct x y/n #nct x you #nct mark #nct jaehyun #jung jaehyun #mark lee #nct fanfic #johnny x reader

[taelme]

close your eyes, and i’ll kiss you

pairing: johnny x reader

genre: established rs au, implied friends-to-lovers, (fluff, very lowkey suggestive?) just a couple in love ig

word count: 1.8k (quick breezy read)

summary: in which johnny just wants to kiss you

a/n: got into my johnny hours while watching stranger things so I banged this out in the afternoon. Not proof read so enjoy~

“Need a break before the next episode, baby?” you felt your head lift from where it rested on your boyfriend’s chest as he stretched his arms above his head with a grunt. Letting yourself sink deeper into his hold, you snuggled your head against his shoulder, shaking your head against the soft fabric of his t-shirt.

“Hmm?” Johnny hummed at your lack of a reply, picking up the remote to press the button for the next episode before it could automatically load.

“No, I’m okay. You?” you murmured, words slightly muffled from how your cheek pressed against him, feeling his free hand come to rest on your back, the weight of it grounding you as he rubbed between and over your shoulder blades in a slow, soothing manner.

“Nah, I’m good, too. Kinda feel like a snack but I don’t know if that’s just ‘cause my mouth is like… itchy. Not literally but like, itching to do something, you know?” he huffed, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Isn’t it always?”

This time, Johnny could only laugh. It was different from if you guys were out at a party, or with friends. Those times, you saw how the energy of the room would affect him, spur him on to joke around and be loud and playful. In times like these, when the both of you were awake when everything else seemed to be asleep, you saw the same playfulness in him, definitely. It was just more mellow, more gentle; much like the way he simply let his hand travel down to give your butt a pat now.

“Well, my baby sure knows me well, doesn’t she?” he cooed, leaning over to press a kiss to your forehead.

Feeling too shy to respond with words, you let out a content hum when you felt his hand move back up to your back, sighing as you let your eyes close just a little longer this time with your blink.

Truth be told, you were tired from a whole day out with your parents, helping them with things in their house that you supposed they always reserved for when you would come home - things like mail, finances and figuring out what on earth the doctor prescribed to them.

You were feeling a little headache come on and looking at Johnny’s tv screen in his living room wasn’t exactly helping. It wasn’t his fault, really. He’d been recommending this tv series to you for a while now, endlessly telling you how much he thought you’d like it, and the holidays opened up time for you to finally watch it (with him being more than happy to re-watch it with you, insisting he wanted to see your reactions to it). He was right, you did enjoy the show, but nights like the one you were having now were practically begging you to simply give in to your fatigue.

You were halfway through the episode when you let out a sigh, “I’m gonna close my eyes but I’m still listening, okay?”

Johnny hummed, amused as a scene of two characters kissing had come on just then, “You sure you wanna just listen to this?” He laughed, sounds of the kisses and the rock song playing in the background suddenly echoing louder than ever through the room now that you had your eyes closed.

It seemed then that Johnny had come across a brilliant idea, one that would satisfy both your needs.

He started by letting out a loud sigh, one that echoed through his chest where your ear was pressed against now. Craning his neck just enough to see your eyes still closed, hand against his chest and your fingers lightly drumming along to the rock song playing.

Your time knowing Johnny meant that even now, you could feel his gaze on you with your eyes closed, the light tickle of his hair against your forehead as he leaned closer. The woody smell of his perfume mixed with his breath that still had hints of beer and the grape sweets he'd been stealing from your bag that was conveniently placed next to the sofa.

Leaning back with another sigh (you'd caught on that he was leading to something by now), Johnny's hand came up to the side of your head, thumb caressing the skin of your temple and cheek again in that gentle, mellow manner, with yet a tinge of playfulness you were waiting for.

“Teenagers,” he sighed wistfully, “we were like that once, weren’t we?”

That tempted you just enough to open your eyes, face heating up at the sight of the scene and how much it really did remind you of you and Johnny back in high school and college. You could almost picture yourselves back on your old couch in your senior year, not seeming to be able to get enough of kissing each other that you had to practically shove yourself off of him at the sound of your parents’ car pulling up the driveway, pretending the both of you were just taking a break from studying.

“You’re still the same, you know,” you rolled your eyes, and you knew you were right when you felt him shift underneath you, rolling over just enough so that your head was on the couch now and he was lying next to you, propped up with his elbow near your head.

“Can’t help it, baby,” his smile grew, leaning in as your eyes closed naturally, only to feel his kiss on your cheek instead, “you’re just as hot.”

You scoffed, eyes still closed as your hand came up to find his head, resting comfortably on the back of his neck.

“‘Hot’? Very romantic of you, Johnny,” you teased, feeling him smile against your neck before you felt another kiss pressed there.

"Uh-huh," your smile grew at the ticklish feeling of him murmuring against your skin, as if mapping out his path as they went up your neck, “and I’m romantic enough to say it again.”

"You’re hot," he spoke. Another kiss to your jaw.

"Beautiful." Beneath your earlobe.

"Gorgeous." To your cheek.

This time, he pulled back just enough that you couldn't help but let your eyes open, wanting to see him. You didn't regret it, feeling like a giddy teenager when you saw the way he was looking at you, the slightest of smiles on his face.

"Sexy," he let his tongue peek out to wet his lips, leaning over to press them against yours, feeling almost reluctant for them to pull apart. The unabashed way with which he said these words was enough to make you shy, relishing in the praise but also feeling like you had to shush him out of embarrassment.

"Irresistible?" the way his tone lilted up made you scoff.

"Is that a question?" you laughed, earning a grunt from him.

"Too many words, too little kissing," he shook his head with a little wince, before leaning over and connecting his lips with yours again.

There was the same mellowness and gentleness you felt in his hand that grasped your hip, moving down to your thigh and holding you like that, his thumb rubbing against your warm skin.

Johnny's movements were far from the hurried, urgent kisses you recalled just moments ago from high school. But they had all the same intention to render you giddy just as they did back then. His hand moved up to your shoulder, grazing over your collarbones to your neck as they reached up further to cup your face, the warmth of his hand making you lean into him. As if that was his cue to deepen the kiss, he did, the tv series now long forgotten in the background as you let your hand come up to cup his face.

You weren't complaining at all, and you didn't think you ever would. The thought was enough to make you giggle- the way you were still managing to spend time with him, feel so close to him and not have to strain your eyes.

"What's so funny?" Johnny asked, the feeling of his tongue and his lips as he kissed you after almost making you miss his question.

"No, nothing," you hummed, managing to say between kisses (that was funny to you too, how he asked you a question but barely gave you a chance to answer with his insistent kisses).

“Tell me, baby,” he continued, and if he continued kissing you like that you were sure you wouldn’t be left with any words.

Pulling away just enough that you could grasp his face in your hands, your hands took the liberty of touching his face, as if giving you a visual with your eyes closed.

"I just thought it was funny how," you let the pad of your thumb touch his bottom lip, running it gently across it, almost melting at the way you could feel him suck in a small gasp.

"How this kind of solves both our problems. I didn't wanna open my eyes, and your mouth was itching to do something."

Johnny smiled, his index and middle finger moving your hair out of your face, letting his head hang forward so his lips were close to your ear, humming in agreement as he shifted himself, one of his legs going between yours to support himself better.

You opened your eyes, leaning forward to press another chaste kiss to his lips, almost laughing at the way he chased after your lips as you pulled away.

"I think I'm ready to get back to the episode, though."

You turned to give the tv a glance, beginning to reach over for the remote lying next to your stomach. Though there was no missing the way he kept his gaze fixed on you, his expression serious and definitely unwavering.

“Nope, sorry, no can do,” he spoke, his hand that was touching your hair moving to touch your chin, guiding your head back to face him, “I’m not ready yet.”

You shot him a look, your other hand still cupping his face, the soft skin of his cheek, feeling his strong cheekbones in a way high-school you never would’ve been able to, not with the baby face he had.

You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, feeling him put more of his weight on you. His strength showed in the way he kissed this time, deep and with an insistence that made you feel like he was trying to render you even more than just giddy.

“Something tells me,” you spoke between kisses, “you’re not gonna be ready anytime soon.” Your fingers ran through his hair, he’s due for a haircut soon.

Johnny pulled away slightly to huff, his arms next to your head almost caging you in as he held himself up. From the way he was smiling at you, you could almost hear him say it, the flashback of how he cooed that his baby knows him so well.

Here it was again, on a midnight like this, his mellow, gentle yet playful side as he let his teeth graze your lower lip slowly, just enough to make you gasp.

“Well, lucky for us, we have the whole night to find out.”

#nct johnny #johnny seo #johnny suh #suh youngho #nct #nct 127 #nct127 johnny #johnny seo x reader #johnny fluff #johnny scenarios #johnny imagines #johnny x reader #johnny au #nct au #nct scenarios #nct 127 au #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 scenarios #taelme

[fullsunrise]

Playing With Fire (M)

Word count: 1.8k

Pairing: Johnny x Original female character

Genre: Office AU, some angst, light smut

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, Johnny is a bully, heavy sexual themes, non-explicit smut (don't hookup with your coworkers!), uh semi-public sex

A/N: Uhhh I don't know what this is, but it's pretty much self-indulgent lmao

There was nothing quite like early winter in the city, with the twinkling lights tangled in the bare trees and a to-go coffee that was almost too hot. This early in the morning, there was no one around. It was calming, and Nari wanted to appreciate the silence before all hell broke loose. She sat on the unoccupied bench outside of her building, savoring the last five minutes she had until she had to face her worst nightmare. That nightmare happened to have a name: Johnny.

Johnny Suh from Sales. Even thinking about him made Nari’s eye twitch. Ever since she was forced to work with him on her latest project, he made it his sole mission to make her life a living hell. Never once in Nari’s career has she had to work with someone so egotistical, cunning, and above all else: annoyingly attractive.

Although she had been working at her company for the last two years, she had never heard of him. Not until she saw an unfamiliar name CC’d on an email from her boss. Confused, she made her way to her boss’s office.

“He's been here almost as long as you have, I believe,” her boss told her. “Great guy, it should be a breeze working with him.”

It was hilarious how wrong he was. Nari’s reality was most definitely not a breeze, but more like a hurricane. Whatever higher being set this up was surely laughing at her now as she struggled against the powerful storm.

To stand any chance, Nari knew she needed any advice she could get. And who else was more equipped than Jaehyun? After years of working at law firms across the city, Nari was sure he was the only person who could understand how to deal with egotistical monsters.

“I'm just saying, maybe try to avoid any interactions with the guy. I mean he's clearly a prick,” Jaehyun said, then took a sip of his beer.

“Trust me, I've been trying to avoid him but it's impossible when we have to work directly together,” Nari replied.

It was hopeless. Johnny was too smart. Careful not to push it too far, he was only condescending to her face. He made sure his actions spoke for him, though. Like last week when he went out to lunch with their project team, he accidentally forgot to invite her. And just a day ago, she swore he was whispering about her to another coworker in the kitchen. Then he laughed loud enough for Nari to hear, only confirming her suspicions. It was subtle, but enough to make her go insane.

“Don't let him get to you,” Jaehyun offered. “You know he's only doing this because he feels threatened by you.”

Threatened? Why would Johnny be threatened by her? Nothing about her was particularly threatening. Sure, Nari was good at her job but she never did anything that would cause someone to dislike her. And certainly she would never step on anyone just to get a promotion. In her corporate life, Nari made sure to remain honest, social, and professional. Unlike Johnny, who couldn't have a more opposite approach.

“I’ll try,” she replied. “But enough about me. How's it going in your world?”

“Same ol’ bullshit as always,” he chuckled.

They spoke about their jobs for a while longer, laughing at random anecdotes from the week. Nari didn't speak about Johnny again, and shortly the thought of him was washed down along with her Gin and tonic. Somewhere between her first and third drinks, Jaehyun asked her how her dating life had been. It caught her off guard only for a moment as she reached for an answer in her muddled brain. With her thoughts slowed, the best she managed to pull was a horrific yet comical dating story. Jaehyun laughed along with her and shared his own. It was always weird talking about her love life with Jaehyun but it was still nice nonetheless. But she would never get used to it, even though there were no lingering feelings left between them.

Nari came back to her apartment feeling a bit lighter after seeing Jaehyun. While he helped her forget about Johnny momentarily, Nari dreaded tomorrow. It was the day of the company holiday party. Normally Nari looked forward to it every year, but the idea of running into Johnny made her stomach churn. Sure, there were going to be a lot of employees and plus ones but the chance of seeing him wasn't zero.

The next day quickly flew by, with little to no urgent work that needed to get done. Nari always appreciated slow work days, but today she wished the day lasted a bit longer. Because as the moon rose in the sky, she knew could no longer hide.

The rooftop lounge was packed with her coworkers spread out across fancy bar top tables. Nari and a few of her team members claimed a spot close to the bar. While she was promised it would limit any unwanted interactions, the idea of walking up with all eyes on her made her mouth dry.

“I’m gonna get another drink,” Nari shouted on top of the loud music.

Much to her relief, Nari didn't recognize the people she passed on her way to the bar. No Johnny in sight, her shoulders relaxed instantly.

“One Old Fashioned, thanks,” the guy with slicked back hair in front of her ordered. Ugh, what kind of person would order that?

The guy with the slicked back hair turned around, and the moment Nari locked eyes with him she was frozen in place. The worst scenario Nair conjured in her mind was happening right now, in real life.

Johnny looked at her for a second before turning away to talk to his friend. That didn't bother Nari, but the fact that he decided to brush past her like she was invisible set her off.

Chasing after Johnny wasn't how Nari expected to spend her night, but there she was pushing through the crowd. Johnny moved fast, but she was able to catch up in the bathroom hallway.

“Why?” The liquor coursed through her veins, giving her the courage to speak up.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Johnny deadpanned, as he turned around to look straight through her. It was clear he was avoiding her question, which in turn only made her angrier.

“Don't play dumb, you know what you're doing,” she accused, her voice raising.

“You're going to be a bit more specific than that, sweetheart,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“So you're just going to pretend like you haven't made my life a living hell the last few months?”

“I think that's too harsh,” he answered, his expression softening. That look could've worked on other women, but Nari wasn't going to give in.

“It's the truth, you've hated me ever since that day.”

“When did I say I hated you?”

Jaehyun’s words echoed in her mind. “Admit it, you’re threatened by me.”

Bingo. Her words seemed to strike a nerve with Johnny, because the next thing she knew he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the bathroom. Warning signs went off in her head immediately, but it happened so quickly that she couldn't break away.

“You don't know what you're talking about,” he seethed, taking a step closer to her.

Was he always standing this close? The temperature was rising, and Nari could feel the blood rush into her cheeks.

“I think I do,” Nari breathed, trying to sound confident. But her quivering voice didn't fool him.

His kisses were feverish against her skin he left bites along the curve of her neck. As he made his way down to her collarbone, Nari’s eyebrows scrunched together. With her lips slightly parted in pleasure, Johnny took the opportunity to steal the air from her lungs in one swift motion. His lips were rough and chapped from the cold, but the way they molded to her own left her utterly breathless. When he abruptly bit her lower lip and gazed at her, she knew she was done for. Deep desire pooled in his eyes and her body craved more of the pleasure he brought. Nari knew right then and there that she had no plans of stopping him.

“No, you don't,” he asserted, breaking the kiss for only a second before diving back in.

Her back was flush against the wall now, the cool tile contrasting against the heat of her skin. Johnny held the side of her jaw forcefully, with his other hand tracing the contour of her waistband. Out the window was her moral compass along with her dignity, her judgment clouded with pure desire.

The sensation of his hand dipping lower only added to her bubbling lust. Without warning, he snaked his hand out of her waistband. Nari whined at the loss and Johnny chuckled in amusement.

“Oh?” he mused, his grin never leaving his face. “You don't like that?”

Nari could only shake her head in response, her brain too muddled to think clearly. Satisfied with her frazzled state, Johnny resumed his motions. Her gasps bounced off the bathroom walls as she chased the high, no longer caring who could hear. With each moan that escaped her lips, she began to fall apart. Strands of hair came loose and tears of pleasure pooled. Her release was imminent, but before she could reach the climax Johnny suddenly stopped.

“I'm sorry, did you want more?” he asked, forehead pressed to her own.

Falling from her high, the reality of the situation came back into focus. What the hell was she doing? Not too long ago Nari couldn't even fathom being in the same room as Johnny, let alone letting herself unravel in front of him. It almost sickened her how quickly she folded under his spell. He knew exactly what he was doing and Nari was willingly falling right into his trap.

“Please,” she replied as she tried to catch her breath.

That was all Johnny needed to continue. With her pleasure still heightened, it took Nari only a few minutes to fully come undone. If Johnny wanted, she would let him take her right then and there. All the sirens in her head told her it was wrong, but why did it feel so right?

“See you tomorrow,” he snickered as he pulled away from her. Giving her a quick once over, he left the bathroom without another word.

Left alone with nothing but her reeling thoughts, Nari glanced at her reflection in the mirror. Disheveled hair and smudged mascara. Nari could barely recognize herself. As she attempted to fix her unruly state, Johnny’s words mocked her. Their little affair was going to cost her. She wasn't going to get fired over it, no, but her impulses were going to cost her the little bit of sanity she had left. Johnny was going to take it all and ruin her beyond recognition.

#nct 127 #nct fanfic #nct #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #johnny suh #suh youngho #johnny nct smut #johnny suh smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut

[star-suh]

my obsession with this man needs to be studied 😵‍💫🥵

#johnny suh #seo youngho #johnny seo #suh youngho #i need him so bad 😩

[twicey09]

Johnny’s Photo Gallery

POV: photos you took of him vs photos he sends you

photos you took of him

photos he sends you

#camera roll #nct dream #nct 127 #nct fanfic #suh youngho #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct wayv #johnny suh #nct johnny #photo gallery #nctzen

[johnsjunsuh]

Johnny & Doyoung for Allure Korea #1

#johnny suh #johnny #suh youngho #kim doyoung #doyoung #nct 127 #nct #jjs.edits #kdy.edits #edits #well i tried making a nice colouring

[favoritejohn]

out there living his hot boy summer 🍒

#i will never recover #like ever #that tank top on him????? #pls kiss me #he looks so FREAKING good #man oh man #shall i compare thee to a summer's day #MY LORD????? #goodbye #i have officially lost it #i am aware of it #sorry for the nth accidental hiatus #it's been crazy lately but i got a job so!!!! #happy that this is my first post of the summer hehe #johnny #johnny suh #johnny seo #johnny nct #suh youngho #nct #nct 127 #쟈니 #nct johnny #서영호 #johnny sexy #johnny handsome #johnny bubble #johnny selfie #johnny 💭 #🍒🍎🎈🌹💄🖍

[sunshyni]

ㅤ✉︎ amor de flashcard pt.1

⌫ notes: essa é a primeira parte do pedido do meu amorzinho @lovesuhng. Resolvi dividir em duas partes porque gosto de deixar vocês com esse gostinho de quero mais, e também porque tenho medo da leitura ficar cansativa. Queria dizer que tô amando escrever absolutamente qualquer coisa com o Johnny, acho que ele combina muito com esse cenário universitário e esportivo (apesar de eu abordar mais o primeiro nessa one do que o segundo, diferentemente de Penn U). Por mim eu faria uma série inteirinha só do Johnny sendo jogador em qualquer modalidade com esse jeitinho de menino skatista que ele tem.

⌫ w.c: 1.5k

⌫ warnings: pode não parecer nessa primeira parte, mas o Hendery é uma parte importante do plot, a personagem principal trabalha num cabeleleiro num bairro coreano (créditos ao teaser do Johnny de mystery in Seoul), tá bem levinho, como todo conteúdo meu do Johnny por aqui, ele tá parecendo um personagem de um filme romântico clichê e no mais é isso, preciso parar de tagarelar KKKKKK

⌧ Boa leitura, docinhos! ♡

Você conheceu Johnny no dia da orientação e apresentação da universidade que os veteranos organizavam todos os anos no intuito de se aproximarem dos recém-matriculados, você se surpreendeu com a facilidade e normalidade com a qual ele tinha para fazer amizades, nem era o primeiro dia de aula e seu jeito carismático já havia garantido alguns números de telefone e convites para andar de skate numa praça da região. Johnny já havia trocado uma dúzia de palavras com todas as pessoas que compunham o grupinho, na sua maioria bolsistas, mas demorou para falar com você, considerando que estava sempre dispersa tentando assimilar toda a magnitude do campus que você sonhara em passar as tardes lendo algum livro da lista obrigatória, referente a alguma das aulas que você fazia parte. Com frequência você se desviava do grupo de estudantes sem perceber, perseguindo a voz alta do veterano ou mesmo de Johnny que vez ou outra ria como se alguém tivesse o contado a piada mais engraçada do Guinness Book.

— Vocês têm mais alguma pergunta? — Hendery, o veterano, questionou quando vocês pararam num corredor aberto a uma área de descanso ao ar livre, com alguns puffs coloridos que te faziam lembrar de uma empresa Google. Ele fazia completamente seu tipo, parecia meio geek e descolado, talvez cursasse algo relacionado a tecnologia como ciência da computação ou administração de sistemas, era extrovertido na medida certa, conversava com todos mas não necessariamente era o primeiro a dar início ao diálogo. Toda essa junção de personalidade fazia seu coração disparar e martelar no seu ouvido, te impedindo de ouvir as primeiras palavras de Johnny direcionadas a você.

— Ei, 'cê pode me emprestar esse elástico no seu pulso? Esqueci o meu em casa e esse calor tá me matando — Johnny falou baixinho só para você ouvir, os cabelos geralmente cumpridos para um cara, eram de um loiro tingido muito bonito, brilhavam na luz do sol e pareciam tão sedosos quanto os seus. Você olhou para o rosto do Suh sem compreender muito do que ele tinha dito por estar ocupada demais reparando na camiseta e nos acessórios que Hendery utilizava, a correntinha e os brincos mínimos cintilavam, mas nada se comparava com o sorriso que ele esboçava quando um dos calouros evocava o nome de alguns professores que ele claramente gostava — O elástico.

O Suh apontou para o item no seu pulso, elevando as sobrancelhas na direção dele para que você tivesse certeza do que ele estava falando sobre.

— Ah, o elástico — Você o tirou do braço, entregando para Johnny que não conseguiu se conter em te lançar uma piscadela singela, ele juntou o cabelo e o prendeu de uma forma que evidenciava que ele já estava acostumado com o cumprimento, levando em conta que o movimento parecia se tratar de um hábito.

Por algum motivo, um elástico transformou o que deveria ter sido uma interação solitária em um relacionamento saudável entre dois amigos, Johnny passou a ser sua dupla de trabalho fixa, mas todo mundo achava que era por ele ser um preguiçoso, quando na verdade você gostava da presença dele, do fato dele ser um tagarela em 99% do tempo enquanto o 1% ele dedicava para estudar com você, com o auxílio de mil e um flashcards sobre matérias variadas do curso de vocês dois. Ele estava quase sempre no seu ambiente de trabalho, um cabeleleiro estilo coreano em que a maioria dos clientes eram senhoras acima dos 60 anos que adoravam quando Johnny chegava com um skate e seu sorriso bem-humorado no lugar.

Sua paixonite pelo veterano ainda persistia mesmo depois de alguns semestres depois da orientação, vocês tinham trocado algumas palavras triviais pelo campus, um “bom dia” impessoal, um “me desculpa!” agudo da sua parte quando você trombou com Hendery acidentalmente num dos corredores da universidade, e um “relaxa!” seguido de um sorriso gentil, no entanto nos últimos dias tudo parecia um tanto quanto nublado com a sua nova descoberta de que talvez, no fundo, você achasse Johnny verdadeiramente atraente, até demais.

— 'Cê pode dar um jeito nisso? — Ele entrou de repente no cabeleleiro, formal da cabeça aos pés com um terno moderno que continha margaridas em todo o tecido da peça, os cabelos agora curtos e escuros molhados, pingando ocasionalmente no tecido azul marinho da sua roupa. Você respirou fundo disfarçadamente quando Johnny se sentou na cadeira adequada para corte, de frente para o espelho horizontal e pós suas mãos sobre os fios que pareciam ter sido lavados a cinco minutos atrás, por essa razão ele cheirava a sabonete, perfume caro e a loção pós barba — Evento de família. Fui obrigado a me vestir de forma adequada.

Você não podia sentir nenhum tipo de atração por ele porque além de ser completamente diferente de você, ninguém sabia desse tipo de relação duradoura que vocês nutriam e diferentemente de Hendery, que trabalhava na lanchonete do campus e dava aulas particulares sempre que possível, a família de Johnny Suh era inacreditavelmente rica, fazendo com que as suas únicas preocupações fossem te atormentar e jogar vôlei, o que ele fazia com excelência nos encontros dos garotos fora da faculdade, transpirando e tudo mais.

— Quem foi que te domou por um dia inteirinho pra te fazer sair de uma calça larga? — Você afastou os pensamentos intrusivos envolvendo Johnny e glândulas sudoríparas, optando por deixar a biologia de lado antes que você enlouquecesse com as imagens que seu cérebro involuntariamente criava.

— Até que não é tão ruim assim — Johnny afirmou procurando seus olhos no reflexo do espelho, fazendo com que você parasse de escovar os cabelos escuros e fixasse o olhar nele por alguns segundos que não foram nenhum pouco incômodos, na verdade, qualquer um que olhasse poderia perceber que vocês tinham algum tipo de ligação, as únicas pessoas que não conseguiam reconhecer isso eram vocês mesmos. O Suh foi o primeiro a quebrar o contato visual, se inclinando na cadeira para pegar uma escova no balcão abaixo do espelho e brincar com o item até que você terminasse o seu trabalho — 'Cê tá afim de ir em uma festa nesse final de semana?

— Não, Johnny. Sem chance — Você balançou a cabeça negativamente com a proposta dele que nem havia sido esclarecida ainda.

— Você é uma chata mesmo, eu nem comecei — Johnny virou a cadeira giratória de frente para você, provocando um leve atrito entre as suas peles, a dele coberta pelo tecido do traje formal e as suas pernas descobertas por um short jeans. Ele segurou suas mãos numa tentativa de te implorar para acompanhá-lo — Os meninos do time de vôlei estavam afim de planejar uma festa e eu ofereci minha casa como sede da reuniãozinha. Só vai ter a galera da universidade e você não precisa se preocupar com isso.

Ele apontou de você para ele e dele para você, falando a respeito do relacionamento que vocês tinham que não se tratava de um relacionamento amoroso, mas a forma com a qual ele gesticulou poderia deixar qualquer pessoa confusa, diante dessa hipótese você instintivamente corou, as bochechas de repente se tornando evidentes com toda quentura que de delas provinham.

— É, a gente é amigo, Johnny — Você o atingiu de leve no ombro, fazendo surgir um sorrisinho nos lábios dele e um assentir de cabeça com uma afirmação verbal, “É, isso”, ele disse, capturando sua mão de novo e só segurando-a dessa vez, sem ficar movendo suas palmas unidas pra lá e pra cá, fazendo você ficar nervosa com a possibilidade dele descobrir que você estava nervosa com o suor que as suas mãos poderiam eventualmente expelir — Eu não vou.

— Você vai sim. Você tem que ir — Johnny assegurou, apertando um pouco mais as suas mãos, provocando uma sensação de ansiedade no seu estômago, não a do tipo “vou vomitar”, era algo bom, prazeroso, o tipo de sentimento que vem a tona quando você está diante da sua pessoa preferida do mundo e talvez, só talvez, você estava começando a aceitar de que essa pessoa era o Suh, no entanto ele não poderia nem se quer suspeitar disso — Você pode se trancar no meu quarto se não estiver curtindo, eu dou um jeito de fazer todo mundo ir embora mais cedo e a gente pode jogar perguntas e respostas, em uma edição especial na qual só você vence.

— Eu sempre venço, Johnny.

— Não na edição de cultura pop — Ele revidou e você concordou após refletir a respeito por 3 segundos.

— Por favor, vai — Johnny suplicou, toda a atenção dele reservada para você, o cabelo numa bagunça molhada que você pensava seriamente em deixá-lo daquela forma, porque o estilo formal despojado tornava-o incrivelmente bonito e atraente numa forma que você achava ser impossível, mas Johnny dizia o contrário estando bem alí na sua frente, tão próximo que se ele se levantasse, seu rosto ficaria a centímetros de tocar o peito adornado pela camisa social e a gravata.

Mais por querer que ele soltasse suas mãos logo e virasse a cadeira de costas para você novamente, acabando com o mix de emoções que rondavam o seu ser internamente, você anuiu num gesto de cabeça sutil, desviando os olhos para um pôster na parede com alguns dizeres em coreano que você não saberia traduzir.

— Tá, eu vou.

#sun favs #imagine nct #nct johnny #johnny nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct br #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct pt br #nct127 #nct x reader #nct scenarios #nct icons #nct #nct texts #johnny suh #suh youngho #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop fanfiction #kpop bg #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop #neo culture technology #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 fluff

[mymoodwriting]

7.5k, The Bat AU, ABO dynamics, yandere, possessive behavior, mentions of human trafficking, mentions of sex trafficking, mafia vibes, omega reader, intimidation, manipulation, pheromones, smut, fingering, penetration, double penetration, voyeurism (@peanutpinet) (@starillusion13)

“I want this taken care of quickly and efficiently.”

Johnny already had a lot on his plate being the leader of his pack, and running the most notorious mafia group in the country. He didn’t have time for games, never wasting a chance to remind everyone why he was on top. His pack wasn’t just feared, but respected. They dealt with all kinds of things, but there were lines they didn’t cross. Such as human trafficking, in particular omega trafficking. 

Johnny prided himself on his pack being a mix of betas and alphas, and he regarded everyone in equal standing. He didn’t have to worry about them going rogue or fighting him for power. They understood that as a pack they had more power than anyone else. Of course there were still those that tried to cross them. Those that thought they could get away with things, but nothing happened without Johnny’s approval, especially not on his turf. 

The other day he had gotten word of a new club at the edge of town. A place to unwind where the entertainment was top dollar. There didn’t seem to be an issue, that is until Johnny heard about the omega entertainers at the establishment. The idea alone didn’t sit well with him so he had someone investigate. It wasn’t long before his suspicions were proven right and he gathered his people to storm the place. Scum like that didn’t deserve any mercy. 

Anyone present at the time of the raid was arrested, and help was provided to those who needed it. This was only the tip of the iceberg so Johnny knew he’d need to run some personal interrogations before handing over the guilty party to the police. While he did that he trusted his pack to clean up what was left of that awful place. The rest of the boys spread out through the establishment, making sure everyone got out safely. 

Jeno and Hendery paired up and cleared out some rooms. It was heartbreaking when they found what seemed to be a storage room where the entertainers were kept. As soon as the two stepped in the omegas cowered away, but they assured them that everything would be alright now, they were safe. Hendery led them out to where they could receive some help, although Jeno noticed a few still in the corner huddled up. He slowly approached, seeing that one of the omegas was curled up on the floor shaking. Something in his heart ignited and he slowly approached the omega, examining them. Just by scent alone he could tell the poor thing was sick.

“She’s burning up…”

“She’s been sick for a few days now. They never gave us anything to help…”

“I’ll take care of her now. The rest of you can go.”

Jeno took off his jacket and gently placed it on the omega, careful to pick them up in his arms. He carried them bridal style, making it outside where everyone was gathered. The proper thing to do was to hand her over to the paramedics, but something deep inside said otherwise. He glanced down at the omega in his arms, seeing how they trembled, and he knew he had to take responsibility. They were done here, so he went over to his vehicle, carefully placing the omega in his passenger seat and driving off. He texted the others to let them know he was leaving the scene, and that he’d see them all back at the base.

No one else was around, so it was quiet and empty when Jeno pulled into the garage. He checked on the omega, seeing that they were still trembling slightly. He got them out of the car, touched that they wrapped their arms around him. He debated putting them in a guest room, but ultimately decided to put them in his bedroom. Jeno gently laid down the omega and tucked them in, going off to get some medicine. He returned shortly with some pills and a glass of water, setting them down on the nightstand.

“Hey… I need you to wake up.”

Jeno sat at the edge of the bed, softly caressing the omega, trying to coax them to wake up. When he saw their eyes open he helped them sit up a bit.

“I have some medicine for you, do you think you can take it?”

He got a soft nod and helped them take the pills. He could tell they were still out of it, but at least they had some medicine now.

“You should start feeling better soon. I’m gonna make you some porridge, okay?” Another nod. “Alright, you just get some rest.”

Jeno laid them back down in bed, heading out and making his way to the kitchen. His cooking skills weren’t incredible, but he could make a simple porridge. As he finished that up the others returned, all but Johnny. Given what he was up to, he probably wouldn’t be back til tomorrow the earliest. Jeno greeted the others and then went to his room with the food. To his surprise the omega seemed calmer, and it brought a smile to his face. Part of him didn’t want to wake them up, but he knew they needed food. He pet them softly for a moment before gently shaking them awake.

“Hi, I have that porridge for you.”

Jeno helped them sit up again, spoon feeding them as well knowing they were still semi-conscious and lightly trembling.

“Do you feel better?” A small nod. “Then maybe you can tell me your name? I know we kinda skipped a lot of things here. My name is Jeno, and you?”

“… y/n…”

“That’s a beautiful name. I’m gonna leave some water here for you on the nightstand, and let you get some sleep. I’ll come by to check on you later, is that okay?”

“… yeah…”

“Good. Sleep well.”

After tucking you in Jeno left you to recover, going back to the kitchen to clean his dishes. It was easy to just continue on with the things he usually did. He saw no problem in what he was doing, he was just being helpful and looking out for someone. Although others might not agree. Since he was busy he didn’t realize Johnny had returned, and had called a meeting with everyone. He went looking for his members, telling them to gather. When he peeked into Jeno’s room he saw someone in bed and tsked, going over to them.

“What did you do to make yourself so tired?” 

Johnny pulled back the cover and froze, the scent hitting. He had a lot of questions, but he wasn’t going to get them here. He carefully backed away and shut the door. Now he had to hunt someone down.

“Jeno!”

Johnny went around looking for the offender, ultimately finding him in the garage. The boy had a smile on his face, but upon seeing Johnny glaring at him it dropped.

“What’s wrong?”

“Care to explain yourself?”

“About what?”

“The omega in your room!”

“The what? In where?” Jungwoo question. “What are you talking about?”

“That’s what I want to know.” Johnny stated. “Now talk.”

“Calm down, it’s nothing crazy. I saw she was ill with a fever and brought her home so I could look after her.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? Cause it was the right thing to do.”

“No. You are sending her back.”

“She stays.”

“On what grounds? Since when do you know how to take care of an omega?”

“Since now. She needs an alpha.”

“And why the fuck would it be you? Do you have any idea-” 

“She stays!” 

“Absolutely not!” 

“You gonna stop me?” 

“Once her fever breaks she’s going elsewhere.” 

“Where?” 

“Wherever she’s not out problem.”

“That makes you no better than the alphas who were at that club! The ones that trafficked her! Leaving a poor omega out in the wild for some ruthless beast of an alpha to claim her innocence! Are you nuts?”

“And you think she wants an alpha considering where she came from? By bringing her here you change nothing. She’s gonna wake up surrounded by alphas thinking she’s been kidnapped. The other omegas are waiting for her and will look after her.”

“And how are you so sure those other omegas know any better? We can show her that all alphas aren’t bad. So she won’t be scared of us.” Jeno explained. “Omegas think they’re nothing but a tool to mate with and alphas are ruthless thinking they were meant to rule when in reality we’re still part human. It’s our nature to be caring as well. If you don’t like it, so be it. I don’t need your approval anyways.”

“You go anywhere near that omega, you’re dead.”

“Try me!” Jeno snarled. “And stay away from her!”

“Jeno-”

The boy wasn’t gonna hear any more, slamming his fist on the table as he left the room, leaving Johnny alone with the others. All eyes were on Johnny, and there were many questions, but the one that was asked was unexpected.

“So… why can’t Jeno have an omega?” Yuta asked. “I feel like I’m missing something.”

“No shit.” Johnny snapped. “Taeil, call the shelter and tell them we’re temporarily housing an omega to avoid getting others sick.”

“No problem.”

“As for the rest of you, tell me what happened after I left.”

Jeno returned to his room, almost about to shout when he remembered he had a guest. He quietly approached the bed, happy to see you resting peacefully. He watched you for a moment before grabbing some of his things and making his way out of the room. You still needed a lot of rest. He also made a point to lock the door, that way no one could get in to bother you, especially Johnny. He noted the time and made a note to come back later to check on you.

🖤

You woke with a groan, reaching up to grab your head. There was this dizzy feeling, mixed with a bit of nausea. You cautiously sat up, starting to realize where you were. This wasn’t the back room of the club, but far worse. The room was unfamiliar, and you were laying on a rather comfortable bed. The smell of an alpha was very present. For the moment you were alone, and that made you feel uneasy. Wherever you were, you wanted to get out. You got up and made your way to the door, finding it locked, but the lock was on your side so you could open it and let yourself out.

You slowly peeked out into the hall, not really seeing anyone. That was good. You quietly stepped out of the room, picking a direction and walking. You just wanted to find a way out, but you weren’t gonna be so lucky. As you turned a corner you ran right into someone. You were still unsteady so you wound up on the floor, staring up at the giant man before you. It wasn’t long before the alpha scent hit you, and then you noticed the glare. He let out a low growl and you whimpered, pulling up your legs and trying to make yourself small.

“Sa… sorry… sorry… I-”

“Jeno! Come get your pet!”

You crawled back until you hit the wall, starting to have trouble breathing. You didn’t know who this Jeno was, but you were already getting an idea by the nickname. Soon enough you heard footsteps approaching, seeing another coming over. He looked at you, then glared at the other. He came to your side, reaching for you but you scrambled away. That didn’t stop him though and he pulled you into his arms, holding you still. Soon you realized he was an alpha too, yet his scent was a lot more calming, helping you relax.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, no one’s going to hurt you.”

“I’m sorry, I’ll do better.”

“What?” 

“I won’t be trouble, I-”

“You’re not trouble, not at all. You’re safe here, I promise.”

“Safe?” You wondered. “What does that mean?”

“It means no one is going to force you to do anything you don’t want to, and no one is going to hurt you again. The bad people who took you are gone now.”

“You… you didn’t buy me?”

“What? No, of course not.”

“Then… where… why…”

“My people raided that club.” The taller man explained. “Everyone was arrested and the rest of your friends were sent somewhere to get help, which is where you should be, but Jeno here decided to take you home instead.”

“She deserves to have a good home, and a better life.” Jeno spat back. “Let’s get you back to the room, you’re still burning up.”

Jeno helped you up, throwing another glare at the other and taking you back the way you came, back to the room you had woken up in. Now that you were more awake, and at ease, you began to remember what had happened to you. Back at the club you had fallen ill with a fever, basically being left to fend for yourself. Then you had vague recollections of someone carrying you in their arms, and feeding you. It dawned on you that it was Jeno.

“… thank you…”

“Hm?”

“I… I haven’t thanked you… for everything…”

“There’s no need for that.”

“Still… all you’ve done… you didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to.”

“… why…”

“Hm?”

“Why me? There were plenty of others… and way better-”

“Sh.” Jeno put a finger to your lips. “I knew everyone else could look after themselves, but you… I personally wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“But why me?”

“I don’t know… I just felt like I should look after you.”

“So then once I’m better… you’ll let me go?”

Jeno stopped, feeling his heart ache at those words. You had only just broken your fever, but you were already thinking about leaving. He didn’t want you to, but he also wanted you to be alright in the end.

“If you want to leave… you can… and we’ll take care of everything so you can do whatever you want too.”

“Whatever I want…”

“Yeah. Do you have any ideas?”

“Not really… I don’t even know where I would go… let alone what I would do…”

“Well, you can stay here until you figure that out. I know my pack is all alphas and betas, but no one is gonna force you to do anything you don’t want to, promise.”

“Thank you.”

You had some more food and were tucked back into bed to get some rest. The next time you woke up you really felt better. As you got up Jeno entered the room, asking you how were feeling and relieved to hear your condition improved. Since you were able to be on your feet he decided to give you a tour of the place. You had been staying in his room so he could look after you, but now you could have your own. You were also introduced to the rest of his pack, finally putting a name to the scary gentleman you had run into before. It was Johnny, the leader of this pack. Something about him sounded familiar but you weren’t quite sure what. You ignored it though, still getting glares from him. It was clear he didn’t like you, so it would be best to keep your distance.

This place was rather huge too, having its own kitchen and dining area, a spacious living room, multiple guest rooms, and even a huge indoor garage. It was like a mansion, but it didn’t really seem like a home. After the tour you settled into your own room, being cautious around the house. Everyone was rather friendly, except Johnny. He avoided you for the most part. Once you were better though you didn’t want to free load in this house. So you’d go around the place, helping wherever you can. On one occasion you ran into Taeil in the kitchen and offered to help him out. You learned to cook, and would set the table for meals. The others were grateful to you, but Johnny was still silent. It shouldn’t have been a problem, but it was upsetting you. Still, you tried to do right by him.

“Can I get you some more tea?”

You helped the others out in little ways, offering to do something for them. You tried with Johnny every now and then, but the result was always the same.

“I’m good.”

“Or maybe some water. I can-”

“I said I’m fine.”

There was a slight growl in Johnny’s tone and you immediately retreated. As you were making your way over to your room you ran into Jeno.

“Woah, woah, are you okay? You’re trembling.”

“Hm? Yeah, I’m fine…”

“I don’t believe you. What happened?”

“Nothing. I’m fine, I-”

“Y/n.”

“… I was just trying to be nice and Johnny…”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing, really…  he just didn’t want me to help and I got scared…”

“Scared?”

“He growled at me… just a bit… it’s nothing bad I swear!”

“Nothing bad? You’re trembling.”

“It’s not his fault… it’s just nature… he’s an alpha and I’m an omega…”

“That doesn’t give him, or anyone, the right to take advantage of you like that.”

“He didn’t do it on purpose…”

“Yet he’s been mean to you ever since you came here. I’ll talk to him.”

“Jeno, no, it’s fine.”

“It’s not. Come on, you need to relax.”

Jeno took you back to your room, bringing you some warm tea so you could calm your nerves. He didn’t leave your side until you were better, and then he went off to find Johnny. He knew you didn’t want to make a big deal out of this, but this was something that needed to be addressed. He wound up finding Johnny in his office, entering unannounced.

“What is your problem!?”

“I have many problems. I’m afraid you need to be more specific.” Johnny stated. “So try that question again.”

“Would it kill you to be a decent person to y/n?”

“What does it matter?”

“It matters because you growling at her scared her. She was trembling.”

“That was not my fault.”

“She’s an omega! She’s far more sensitive around alphas, and you’re being careless!”

“And she’s being a nuisance! She goes around the house offering help and-”

“Did you forget where she came from? All she knows is to serve others, especially alphas. She doesn’t want to feel like a burden and yet that’s exactly what you’re doing. If you ever want her to leave and do her own thing, you could start by making her feel like an actual person capable of living their own life.”

“…”

“Anything to say for yourself?”

Johnny sighed. “There’s been a lot going on lately… but I can spare some time to go shopping.”

“Shopping? What does-”

“A person needs to have their own things. She’s been in our guest room, but doesn’t really own anything herself. I’m sure she’d enjoy getting out of the house too.”

It was surprising to hear such a thing from Johnny, but Jeno knew it was a start. The next day everyone went out together, going to the mall. You were quite excited as you had never been shopping before. You wanted to go into every store and try things on, asking the others for their opinions. They all grabbed some things too, wanting to see what you would look like in them. The only one who wasn’t participating was obviously Johnny, he only paid for everything.

“Don’t worry about him.” Jisung told you. “This whole thing was his idea.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He never takes us out shopping like this either, but it’s very fun.”

You glanced over at Johnny. You didn’t expect this to be his idea, but it made sense now. He didn’t seem like one to be here, but if it was his suggestion of course he’d be present. After some shopping you all got together to eat, but Johnny still kept his distance. You stepped away from the table for a moment, going over to Johnny.

“Excuse me…”

“Hm?”

“I… I wanted to thank you… for today… all the gifts-”

“You need to wear something besides the same outfits over and over. No need for thanks.”

“Thank you nonetheless.”

You were making your way over to the others when you accidentally bumped into a group of boys. You quickly apologized and tried to be on your way but they got in front of you, slowly surrounding you. It wasn’t long before you caught their scents, a few being alphas, and by now they were probably aware of your status too.

“This is a rare sight.” One said. “You don’t usually see an omega out on their own.”

“I… I’m not alone.”

“No? Then who are you here with, little wolf?”

You shyly peeked over behind them and pointed over to the table you had left a moment ago. The boys followed your gaze.

“Oh shit, is that the Suh pack?” One commented. “What are they doing here?”

“We’re shopping…”

“I didn’t know they had an omega join them.” Another added.

“I’m… I’m just a guest…”

“Ah, then perhaps you want to join our pack.” This gentleman took a bow. “Lee Taeyong, leader of the Lee pack.”

“Hello…”

The others introduced themselves as well, a total of seven boys. They seemed nice, but being surrounded didn’t give off a good impression.

“I’m curious. How did an omega wind up a guest of the Suh pack? It’s not-”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

You were suddenly yanked back and away from the others. You expected to see Jeno and the rest of the boys, but instead when you glanced back you saw Johnny. He was glaring at Taeyong, keeping his grip on your arm tight.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to intimidate an omega in such a manner.”

“We were doing no such thing.” Ten said. “We’re merely offering the little wolf a chance to join a real pack. Everyone loves a good omega.”

“She’s not looking for a pack.”

“Is that so? She said she was your guest, and nothing more.”

“She’s mistaken.” Johnny growled.

“You know, I heard you guys took down this club that was trafficking omegas.” Jaehyun mentioned. “I guess you kept one for yourself.”

“What does it matter to you?”

“Oh, did we hit a nerve? Nothing wrong with having an omega around, should just be careful.”

“Is that a threat, YangYang? Cause I don’t recall you ever being funny.”

“Let’s not cause trouble.”

Jeno pushed past the Lee pack as he spoke, the rest of the boys right behind him. They gathered at Johnny’s side, surrounding you and keeping you separate from the others.

“You should all be on your way now.” Jeno stated. “And behave yourselves.”

“Don’t you know it’s rude to intimidate an omega.” Jaemin teased. “The girl should speak for herself.”

“I’d like to leave.” You mumbled.

Without another word Johnny began to drag you away from the group. You looked back to see Jeno and the boys throwing glares at the others before following behind you and Johnny. When you came to the mall you were sitting in the back, but this time Johnny put you in the front passenger seat, putting your seatbelt on for you. He was completely silent and got into the driver’s seat. The rest of the boys made it over, a few getting in the back, and the others taking the second car. The whole drive back was in silence. When you arrived back at the house Johnny got out of the car first, clearly frustrated. The others got out but you glanced back at Jeno.

“Jeno… am I part of the pack?”

“Who said that?”

“Johnny.”

The door to your side opened and Johnny took off your seatbelt, pulling you out of the car. He didn’t let you go, starting to pull you along somewhere. You were too nervous to say anything and just followed, but Jeno didn’t like the scene. He quickly got out of the car and chased after you. He grabbed your hand and pulled you back, although Johnny didn’t let go. He merely glanced back and threw a glare at Jeno. You could feel the tension in the air and tried to make yourself as small as possible.

“Let go.” Johnny growled.

“No! You need to explain yourself! What was that back at the mall? And what’s this about y/n being in the pack!?”

“Am I in the pack…”

“Johnny-”

“I said let go!”

Johnny shoved Jeno back and then took you along to his office. Jeno glanced back at the others and shrugged his shoulders before storming after Johnny. He went into the office, seeing you seated and Johnny pacing around.

“Johnny what-”

“Strip.”

“Huh?”

“Not you.” Johnny glared at Jeno, then glanced at you. “Her.”

“Ma… me…?”

“I want those other scents off you!”

Johnny made his way to you, but Jeno quickly got in between the two of you, shoving Johnny back.

“What the hell is wrong with you! I thought you said she was annoying and-”

“Oh don’t start that shit with me! You’re the one who practically kidnapped an omega and brought her here! I had self control, unlike you, and then she wound up getting cornered by the Lee pack!”

“Johnny-”

“I told you to take your clothes off!” Johnny growled at you. “I don’t want you smelling like another wolf!”

You whimpered and started doing as you were told but Jeno was quick to stop you. He was telling you it was alright but got shoved away from you. Johnny ripped up your shirt, leaving you in your bra before placing his jacket around you and pulling you into his arms, scenting you.

“If I had known how things would end up I never would have taken you outside.”

Despite the fear and confusion you had been feeling, once you were in Johnny’s arms, breathing in his scent, you began to relax. You could tell he was sincere, and actually cared about you. This whole time you thought he didn’t like you, but it was quite the opposite. He was just holding himself back, but today pushed him over the edge. Jeno was still confused though, and didn’t exactly approve of this behavior. He shoved Johnny away and pulled you to your feet.

“You don’t get to act like you care all of a sudden just cause she got cornered by another pack!”

Before Johnny could say anything more Jeno rushed out of the office with you in tow, taking you to your room. You weren’t entirely sure what had just happened, so you just sat in bed while Jeno paced around.

“I… I should probably shower… right?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Jeno went to start the shower for you, wanting to stay but knowing you needed your privacy. He stepped away, saying he would come by later, and told you to lock the door for now. You did as he said and showered, letting your clothes soak in the water as well, except for Johnny’ jacket. After you cleaned yourself up you laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. What lingered the most was Johnny saying you were part of the pack. You weren’t sure if that was true, or he had just been saying it, but the idea alone made you curious. You never thought you’d be in a pack, but you were starting to feel like maybe you did want it. 

This one wasn’t so bad, everyone was nice, minus Johnny. Then again, maybe he wasn’t all bad either. The outing today was his idea, and even if he didn’t socialize with you there did seem to be something going on. You glanced over at his jacket, figuring you should return it, and by now maybe he had calmed down. You made your way over back to the office, knocking on the door. It dawned on you that maybe he was elsewhere but when you heard him tell you to come in you knew otherwise. You took a breath to calm your nerves and went inside. Johnny was at his desk looking at the tablet in hand, not meeting your gaze.

“Uh… I just… just wanted to return your jacket…”

“You should keep it.”

“I… I don’t know what I would do with it…”

“Hm. You can leave it on the chair.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t forget to look over your things. If there’s anything you don’t want or something that you’re missing, just let me know. We can always go back.”

“Alright.”

“Y/n.”

“Yes?”

“I should apologize for earlier.” Johnny put down the tablet. “I was out of line and didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Oh… I… I understand, you-”

“No. You can be upset with me. My behavior was far from appropriate, and I haven’t been the best person to you as of late. I will do better.”

“Okay… I’ll hold you to that…”

Johnny chuckled. “Good.”

“Uh… Johnny?”

“Yes?”

“Earlier… you said… I was mistaken in thinking I was your guest… so… am I part of your pack?”

“You choose your pack. So that question falls on you, if you want to be a part of this pack.”

“Oh…”

“You don’t have to answer now.”

“Okay…”

You excused yourself, a small smile on your face. You got your bags from the car and went to your room, going over everything and putting your things away. Over the last few days this place had slowly begun to feel like a home. You had your own room, and your own things. You honestly couldn’t see yourself leaving anytime soon, or at all. Especially with Johnny not being so cold to you anymore more.

“Jeno.”

“Hm?”

You had been wandering the house when you found Jeno in the garage, working on one of the cars. You decided to stick around and keep him company. He showed you a bit about how the car works and what he was working on.

“Johnny…”

“What did he do now?”

“Nothing. I just have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Back at the mall… why was he so… mean to the others…”

“Well, for starters, Johnny used to run with the Lee pack. He didn’t like the way they did things so he stepped away and made his own. There’s still some lingering bad blood between them. Then there’s the fact you’re an omega. Whether he cares to admit it or not, it’s hard not to be protective of you.”

“I know that. I wish I wasn’t such a burden.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“But I am trouble.”

“Not because you mean to be. No one holds you responsible or thinks you’re at fault.”

“I’ll try to behave.”

“You’re wonderful just the way you are.”

A moment later Jeno had to excuse himself to take a call, leaving you alone in the garage. You just looked around, not touching anything as you had no idea how to work any of the tools present. When you heard footsteps you thought Jeno had returned, but instead Johnny entered the room. He was looking for Jeno, but it was clear he wasn’t there. Since it was just you he felt a bit awkward, but offered you a smile.

“I don’t know where Jeno is…”

“That’s fine… how… how are you?”

“I’m good, just trying to find things to do.”

“Is there anything you want to try? I can get you anything you need.”

“I don’t really know what I want to do…”

“We can try things. I can get you art supplies, we can start a garden in the backyard, maybe you want to knit.”

“I… I think I’d rather do something useful.”

“You don’t have to do anything like that. It’s your life to do what you want with it.”

“But I don’t wanna seem like a burden here.”

“You’re not. You never have been. I know I haven’t been the nicest since you arrived, and I have a lot to make up for, but I never saw you as a burden.”

“You were pretty mean…”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m still not entirely sure my pack is what is best for you, but if you want to stay here, I won’t deny you that.”

“Is that why you were so cold… you didn’t want me to stay…”

“The things we do here aren’t exactly kind.”

“But you saved me, and the others as well… that was very kind…”

“I guess we try every now and then.”

“Uh… a garden… would be nice… I could grow some fruits and vegetables for everyone… if that’s alright…”

“Sure. We can go buy some plants and seeds tomorrow.”

You didn’t really know anything about gardening, but like you said, you didn’t want to be completely useless. Even if Johnny told you that you didn’t need to do anything to help them, you still wanted to. In a way it would also let you get close to them too. As promised the next day you went out with the pack to buy some plants, and other gardening tools. You spent the rest of the afternoon fixing up the backyard into a proper garden. It wasn’t until late into the night that you were watering everything and letting them settle into the soil. 

You were sleepy by then but you certainly needed to eat before bed. You had some food before heading to your room. Although you were very tired and stumbling down the hall. You wound up half sleeping against the wall when someone grabbed you. A soft chuckle escaped their lips and you could see a blurry figure of Johnny. He picked you up in his arms and carried you to your room. He got your shoes off and tucked you into bed, petting your head softly.

“Sweet dreams.”

🖤

Tending to the garden was your daily routine, and it meant you spent a lot of time outside. It wasn’t until then that you realized how much you liked the outdoors. For the most part you had always been kept inside and rarely saw the sun. It made you feel as if you were a flower yourself. Finally allowed out in the sunlight so you could grow properly and bloom. Johnny wasn’t distant either anymore, he’d always be checking in on you while you were in the garden and would help you where he could. Although the one who was always at your side was Jeno, making the two somewhat jealous of each other. You were just glad they didn’t fight over you.

“Guys! Look!”

You were so excited to show the boys your plants when the vegetables had become ripe for picking. Now of course it was a question of if they were good. You excitedly picked out what was ready and washed them in the kitchen, helping with the meal preparations and hoping for the best. You anxiously watched the others take the first bite, and seeing their happy reactions assured you that it was good. They all sang your praises and you were happy to provide them with some good food. It really made you feel like you belonged. Which meant it was probably about time you said something. Although you were very nervous about it.

You had to work up the courage a bit to go see Johnny. You were pacing around outside his office, trying to figure out what the right words to say were. You didn’t know much about how packs worked, let alone how you join one. While pacing Jeno found you, quite curious about your actions. He asked you what was going on but you fumbled your words over and over again. He placed his hands on your shoulder, telling you to breathe and take a moment to compose yourself. You thanked him for his help, figuring it was now or never. You knocked on Johnny’s door and then stepped into his office, Jeno right behind you.

“Hello, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I… I wanted to talk to you… about something.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“I… uh… I…”

“Take your time.”

“You… you said I wasn’t a guest… but a part of this pack… if that’s what I wanted…”

“Yes, and that still stands.”

“Well, I’ve made a decision.”

“And what would that be?”

“If… if you’ll have me… I’d like to be part of this pack.”

Johnny smiled. “Of course, we’d love to have you.”

You let out a nervous chuckle, glad this was out in the open, but still a little nervous. Johnny got up from his desk and came over to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m glad you want to stay with us.”

“Me too.” Jeno added. “The others will be happy to hear.”

You snuggled up against Johnny, feeling warm in his embrace. You could tell he was happy, as were you. His scent was also quite relaxing, giving you a sense of safety. This was probably what being in a pack felt like. As Johnny held you he took in your scent, leaning over to nuzzle your neck. There was something about you in the moment that was drawing him in. Maybe it was because he could finally call you his, or his alpha side was giving in to the fact you were an omega who hadn’t been claimed yet. Jeno seemed to notice his intentions.

“Johnny-”

“You can excuse yourself.”

Jeno chuckled. “I am not leaving you alone with y/n.”

“Then don’t get in the way.”

“Two is better than one.”

Jeno came up behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders, giving you a gentle message. You let out a happy whine, looking back at Jeno who greeted you with a smile.

“How do you feel baby girl?”

“Happy…”

“Yeah? We can make you feel even better if you want.”

“Hm… that sounds nice…”

Johnny’s hands slid down your sides, tugging at your skirt until it fell to the ground, leaving you in your panties. He snatched you away from Jeno and had you sit on his desk, pressing a deep kiss against your lips.

“Let me know if you want me to stop.”

“Okay.”

Johnny smirked at you, getting you out of your shirt. He pressed kisses against your exposed skin while Jeno reached over to unhook your bra. Johnny helped you out of it and then his eyes looked down at your body, and you knew what he was staring at. You pressed your thighs together, definitely nervous about that.

“No one’s gonna hurt you.” Johnny assured. “If you want to stop, just say so.”

“I… I don’t want to…”

Johnny massaged your thighs, a grin on his face. You let out a soft whine, getting a chuckle out of the two of them. Jeno came over to your side, pressing kisses to your neck. His lips were warm and gentle, grabbing your attention. While you were distracted with that Johnny ran his fingers up and down your panties, making you squirm. He shushed you, telling you to behave. Without warning he slid your panties aside and touched your center. His cold fingers sent shivers down your spine. You had closed your eyes for a moment, and when you opened them you saw Johnny staring at you with lust.

“Johnny…”

“I won’t answer to that right now.”

“Alpha…”

“Good girl.”

Johnny leaned in close to press a kiss to your cheek as he pushed a finger into you. Immediately your eyes went wide and you grabbed Johnny’s hand. He didn’t budge though, merely tsking at you. Jeno’s hands creeped over yours and pulled them away, letting Johnny continue to finger you. The only noises that escaped your lips were whines and moans, your hips moving on their own. Johnny loved your reaction, adding another finger, and then another, stretching you out. This whole thing was a new feeling, something you had yet to do back at the club. You had always been so scared, but you felt safe here.

“Do you want me?” Johnny asked.

“Yes, alpha.”

Johnny kissed you deeply before pushing you back against the desk. You yelped as you were startled by his actions, Jeno pushed away. You stared up at Johnny, slightly out of breath. He kept eye contact with you as he unzipped his pants.

“Tell me at any point if I need to stop.”

“You can’t have her all to yourself.” Jeno growled.

“Fine.”

Johnny had you wrap your legs around his waist and then lifted you up, changing your positions. Now he was the one sitting on the desk, and you were sitting in his lap. You could feel something firm pushing up between your legs, making it difficult to sit still.

“Better?” Johnny questioned.

“I can work with this.” Jeno chuckled.

Jeno came up from behind, kissing you once more, then you began to feel something poking at your back. It wasn’t hard to guess what that was.

“Can you take both of us at once?” Jeno asked. “I think you can.”

“… both…”

“Trust us, we’ll go slow.”

Jeno grabbed your hips, lifting you up a bit so Johnny could get himself in place. You began to feel something pushing up into you, and Jeno slowly sat you down. You squirmed and whimpered, feeling yourself getting pushed open. It took a moment to get used to the feeling, leaning back against Jeno for support.

“Fuck baby.” Johnny groaned. “You’re real tight.”

“Sorry…”

“That’s not a bad thing.”

After a moment Johnny placed his hands on your hips, Jeno letting him take control. He began to help you move up and down, feeling him slide in and out of you. The way he stretched you out felt amazing, and then he began moving at a certain angle that sent wave after wave of pleasure. Your eyes practically rolled to the back of your head as you bounced up and down. Jeno was sucking on your neck, leaving all kinds of marks on you, but he wanted his turn too. As you felt this heat building inside you Jeno suddenly put his hand on Johnny’s chest.

“Am I gonna join the fun?”

“I think she’s ready. Although she might cum from our combined size first.”

“That’s alright.”

Johnny laid back and pulled you down with him. Now you were so close to his face you felt a bit shy. Then you jumped when you felt some fingers down between your legs. You unintentionally moved, but Jeno placed a hand on your back.

“Behave.”

“Yes, alpha.”

You felt as Jeno fingered you while Johnny was still inside you, pushing you to your limits. At the moment you couldn’t even fathom what came next, but you didn’t have to wonder for long. You suddenly felt something hot and wet running along your ass. You glanced back to see Jeno holding his length. Before you could say anything Johnny pulled your attention and kissed you deeply. While you were distracted you felt Jeno pushing into you. Your breath caught in your throat, and Johnny held you still as Jeno rocked into you.

“Good girl, good girl, I told you that you could take us.”

“Fuck… so much…”

“I’m surprised you held back baby girl, but you’re gonna cum soon.”

“Wanna… wanna cum…”

“We know.”

You had a moment to adjust to the stretch before they started moving, gently, but it was still overwhelming. You swear something was gonna tear, but they were careful. You had your eyes shut tight, feeling everything and rocking your body back and forth. That heat from before had returned, and was rising, being felt across every inch of your body. It persisted until it overwhelmed you, making your vision go white as you began to shake uncontrollably. You laid in Johnny’s embrace, the two still moving and groaning as you squeezed them tightly.

You were in and out of consciousness, floating on cloud nine as you felt something warm between your legs. You whimpered and nuzzled against Johnny, just enjoying the moment. At some point you wound up on the floor on top of the two alphas, feeling warm and exhausted and overjoyed all at once. You felt someone softly petting you, wanting to say something but it all came out as incoherent mumbles, getting laughs out of the two of them. That was good enough for you, making you feel safe.

“So, we officially have an omega now.” Jeno stated.

“Isn’t that what you wanted from the start?”

“I guess I did. I just didn’t really know it.”

“They say when it comes to your pack, you just know.”

“Did you know?”

“Perhaps there was a reason I went into your room that day.”

“Hm, I guess it was meant to be.”

#nct #johnny #jeno #taeil #yuta #jungwoo #hendery #jisung #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #suh youngho #lee jeno #moon taeil #nakamoto yuta #kim jungwoo #wong kunhang #park jisung #nct au

[ryosuzaki]

Johnny Suh

2023 Gold Gala

#johnny #johnny suh #suh youngho #nct 127 #nct #userthing #mensource #jjs.gifs #gifs

[princemonday]

gum by jessi is rotting my brain. i cant stop doing the dance and watching all the idols do the dance. the nct boys padding their asses for the challenge is.....an experience.

#johnny having a fattie #i love them #lose your breath ! go ahead take it off ! #jessi #ho hyunju #ho jessi #mark lee #lee minhyung #suh johnny #johnny suh #suh john #john suh #suh youngho #lee mark #jessi ho #lee taeyong #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nctzen #kpop

[taelme]

treacherous

genre: regency!au (with some tweaks ofc), kind of secret romance, painter!johnny, marquess!johnny (mild angst, a lot of fluff im telling yall this was self-indulgent)  pairing/s: Johnny / Reader (ft Jaehyun and oc (reader’s sister)) word count: 26k+ (love language strikes again)  tw: brief mentions of a parent’s death, mentions of food, reader has a tense relationship with her mom? mentions of religious imagery  summary: in your search for love in a material world, you find the acquaintance of a poor painter and discover what it means to feel safe to trust, to be vulnerable, to love—and everything in between a/n: very self indulgent!! (this technically can be read as a standalone but reading enchanted before this can help with context!) was definitely zoning out during my lessons thinking about this johnny.... can yall tell im in love? may have died many times writing this ... definitely was difficult to edit because i was giggling throughout as though i wasn’t the one who wrote it. themed on treacherous but i’d love to hear if you found any other tswift song easter eggs inside!! happy reading  read on ao3

There were many rules any supposed self-respecting or ‘well-bred’ gentleman and lady had to abide by in the world you lived in—rules that ensured the protection of a culture, that shaped character, that cultivated virtue. You were very well-versed in such rules, having been fed every conduct manual your mother could get her hands on from the time you were able to read. 

You would internalise all that you’d read, taking the words seriously and living by the advice given, moulding yourself into a daughter who was perfect as and when you were judged by the book. Perhaps that was what your mother hoped, that her daughter would agree to being mothered by conduct books. 

Of course, that wasn’t quite the case. You read them, surely, but whether you lived by them was an entirely different matter. 

The first thing to note, a lady like you was expected to wait to be introduced to a gentleman, and never introduce herself.

“Would you stop fidgeting? How impossible is it for you to just sit still for a moment?” your mother clicked her tongue in distaste, her voice soft enough only for you to hear, but her tone no less cutting. 

You glanced at her blankly, shifting in your seat once again before turning your gaze back to the field before you, the crowd of people around you waiting for the races to start. Frankly, the appeal of a race for you lay in watching the horses, how gracefully and strongly they galloped, oblivious to the money being placed behind their speed. 

But you knew why you were here, it was hard for you to forget. 

“It’ll be nothing short of a miracle if anyone finds you desirable with your horrible manners to show for yourself,” she huffed, turning to your father who was sitting beside her for some sort of support, only growing more annoyed when she saw that he was otherwise unbothered by your fidgeting. 

“Spare her, she’s still new to all of this,” he murmured. 

“Her sister wasn’t like this when she first debuted,” your mother retorted, earning a sigh from your father.

Your sister, who was now away on her honeymoon with the viscount she married. As much as you were happy for her, you would be lying if you said you didn’t miss the support she gave you, especially during times like these where it seemed you would be caught in the crossfire of your mother and father’s disagreements. 

“Are they not both ladies? You have to stop treating her like she’s still a child,” your mother murmured harshly, making you shift in your seat uncomfortably, “the sooner you do that, the easier this whole process will be for all of us.” 

Now, you couldn’t hide behind the fact that you were young. You were out in society, expected to be looking for a marriage partner, but you still found yourself feeling intimidated by the number of people here knowing that they weren’t looking at you as anyone other than a lady to be married off. 

Thankfully enough, you spotted a familiar face (or they spotted you), your gaze landing on a family friend, a bachelor named Taeyong under the tentage next to the spectator stand. 

“I’m… going to say hello to Taeyong.” 

Your mother hadn’t acknowledged you with anything but a huff, so you took that as a greenlight to leave, straightening your posture in an attempt to make it seem as though you weren’t completely intimidated by the crowd of men you were practically walking into. 

Nodding your head at Taeyong in greeting when he met your gaze, he flashed you a smile. 

“My lady,” he bowed with extra dramatics, earning a grimace from you, “it feels oddly refreshing to be seeing you in a place like this.” 

“How so?” your eyebrows lifted, gaze flickering briefly to notice the man standing next to him, taller than Taeyong and much taller than you, giving him a small nod in acknowledgement. 

You knew it was more socially acceptable for you to focus on conversing with Taeyong and not acknowledging the man, since it would have been an obvious fact that he and Taeyong were of different social standings. The man’s dressing was that of a typical man of the working class, compared to Taeyong’s more expensive fabrics, with special tailored tailcoats and frills in his shirt. In spite of this fact, you couldn’t help your gaze from wandering over to the man even as you spoke with Taeyong, something about the way he carried himself making him seem as though he was the one of power between the two of them. 

It was a confidence and sureness that you weren’t used to seeing, different from the air with which the viscount Jung Jaehyun carried himself. For the viscount, there was always an air of tension in his slightly aloof demeanour. The man standing next to Taeyong now didn’t seem tense, instead, he possessed a calm confidence. You weren’t sure why it intimidated you more. 

“I’m more accustomed to seeing you in your home,” Taeyong huffed, “I guess this means it’s your first season?” 

You nodded, glancing again at the man next to Taeyong, who wore a curious expression on his face, observing you as you spoke with Taeyong. 

“And my last, if I'm fortunate enough,” you joked, even if you didn’t mean it. 

You glanced briefly again at the man standing next to Taeyong, averting your gaze when you met his confident stare, Taeyong’s huff of laughter distracting you just briefly. 

“I’m sure the season will be forgiving to you, you’ve always had a rather sweet disposition,” he assured you, eyebrows lifting as he shifted his body just slightly to gesture to the man next to him. 

“Oh, right. May I introduce you to a friend of mine who just moved into the town? He’s a painter, a very talented one at that. Miss Y/N this is Mr Suh. Mr Suh, this is my family friend, Miss Y/N.” 

The man gave you a polite bow, “I’m pleased to make your acquaintance,” he said with a polite smile. 

Your head tilted in surprise, not having expected the lilting voice to have come from a man whose presence was anything but gentle. 

Taeyong glanced between you and Mr Suh, momentarily distracted when he was approached by a man who had greeted him loudly, immediately rattling off into a discussion on the horse race. 

Almost about to leave to find your way to the lemonade, you heard the lilting voice again. 

“Who are you betting on?” he asked nonchalantly, and with the way he looked ahead as he talked, it would have seemed as though he wasn’t talking to you from the outside. You wondered whether it was intentional. 

“Me?” you asked, turning to look up at the man’s face, seeing him tear his gaze away from the horses to look at you, a soft smile gracing his features as he did. 

He nodded. 

“Am I supposed to be betting on one?” you asked in spite of everything you knew and read from the conduct manuals. You didn’t need Mr Suh to tell you to know that you weren’t supposed to be betting on anything, regardless. 

Mr Suh’s eyebrows lifted, taking his lower lip between his teeth before letting it go, “Well,” he began, “I suppose you shouldn’t. But the stakes are what make it more entertaining, aren’t they?” 

You scrunch your nose up in disagreement, shaking your head. 

“I would beg to differ. Sometimes things are best enjoyed without too many expectations.” 

Mr Suh hummed, clasping his hands behind his back, the stance somehow making him seem even more confident, you could almost imagine him dressed in formal wear attending one of the balls your sister spoke of the previous season. A man like him would be hard to miss in a crowd. 

“What makes you say that?”

You shrugged, your gaze flickering over the way the sunlight was shining on him through the little holes in the tent above the both of you, casting a pretty glow on where it touched his hair, his skin, his hazel eyes that held the mischief of a cheshire cat to them. 

“I suppose when you leave less room for expectation, you also leave less room for disappointment,” you hummed, watching in borderline awe as he let out a huff of laughter. 

“Not that I don’t agree with you, because trust me, I do. But humour me, pick one and we’ll see who wins,” he offered smoothly, with the same confidence that made you feel as though he were drawing you in, as if his simple proposition was enough to spark your desire for some excitement in what you otherwise assumed was going to be a boring day. 

“And if you win? What happens then?” you asked, earning a thoughtful hum from Mr Suh, lips pursing in thought as if he hadn’t already thought of what he wanted. 

Mr Suh’s lips parted, as if having reached a moment of realisation, “You’ll grant me the honour of getting you a glass of lemonade.” 

“And if I win?” 

Mr Suh grinned, “Well, that’s up to you, isn’t it?” 

You hummed, “Alright then. I pick number two.” 

And you watched, as the race began, as Mr Suh watched with a serious gaze as the horse you chose had run neck in neck with his, the way number two had begun to pick up speed halfway and you knew you would prevail as the winner by a landslide. Funnily enough, Mr Suh didn’t feel the slightest bit bitter about losing, curious as to what you had in mind for your reward. 

It was amusing to you, to see the way the many people standing in the tent had either gushed out yells of excitement or frustration as the race ended, Mr Suh’s expression looking still as calm and confident as he turned to face you. 

“Have you decided what you wanted?” he asked, “I’ll still get you a glass of lemonade, since it’s a hot day after all.” 

You followed next to him as he walked towards where the staff were serving refreshments, paying for a single glass of lemonade and handing it to you, an expectant look on his face as he awaited your reply. 

“You said you were a painter, is that correct?” you began, earning a tilt of the head from him, wondering where you were going with this. 

“Yes, I am.” 

“Could I pay a visit to your studio one day? You know, to see some of your paintings?” 

If Mr Suh was surprised at your request (he was), he hadn’t shown it, simply looking at you with the same curiosity in his gaze, giving you a nod. 

“You’re more than welcome to come by. I’m located near the flower shop by the market, the old space that used to belong to the… the wine merchant,” he told you, and with how much you frequented the market, you instantly knew the space he was referring to, already mapping out a route in your head that would allow you to visit his studio after you ran your errands on Monday. 

Somehow, you couldn’t get used to the way he held your gaze, something about it making you feel as though you were frozen in your spot, unable to look elsewhere yet feeling as though you were too shy to return the same attention to him. 

“I’d better be going now, wouldn’t want to worry my mother,” you fumbled out an excuse in your flustered state, giving him a nod before you’d left promptly, sipping on your lemonade in an attempt to cool the warmth in your face and neck. 

===

Another thing worth noting, is that a lady like you is often placed in a very delicate situation. You may be distinguished by a kind of calculated attention to gain your affections, while it is impossible to know whether this attention will end in a serious declaration. 

You didn’t manage to visit him once the week started, busy with your own errands that occupied your first few days of the week. 

The next time you saw Mr Suh, it almost seemed like you were being guided towards each other. It was an odd moment on that Wednesday morning, something compelling you to look up from the yellow sunflowers you were talking to the old woman running the store about, turning your head to the right even though you weren’t quite looking for anything, your gaze coming to land on the man that you were almost hoping you would chance upon while in the area. 

Seeing the way his eyebrows lifted in recognition, you gave him a small nod to signal that you were acquainted with him, a smile gracing his features as he stood before you. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” he remarked, earning a strangely shy smile from you, surprising yourself at the way you reacted towards him. 

You hummed, “I’m here often, actually,” you admitted, your gaze flickering briefly to the sunflowers you were looking at before, your finger touching one of the soft petals absently. 

“Is that so? Do you like flowers?” 

You shrugged, “... the simple answer would be yes.” 

Mr Suh surprised you with the way he’d gasped lightly, eyes widening with a hint of exaggerated dramatics, his hands in his pockets as he leaned over slightly, “Well, now that you’ve said it like that, you’ve gotten me curious about what the complex answer would be.” 

You weren’t sure what came over you, or what was compelling you to go against your mother’s wishes of not entertaining men who weren’t those you danced with at balls. 

Perhaps it was the way he conversed with you so smoothly, or the confident way he held himself, or even the way it seemed as though there was something inexplicable drawing you in through his gaze, telling you there was more to him than he was letting on. As if it would only  continue to nag at your curiosity if you didn’t explore it. 

“It is an answer I would easily offer to you if we were in a more conducive space,” you huffed in amusement, gesturing around to the various other market stalls, the grocers and the merchants yelling and ringing their bells as they bartered off their products. 

Mr Suh felt it too, the strangest feeling in his gut that made him feel as though he were being prompted to get to know you more. As he looked at you now, in the silence of the flower shop with the old woman giving him a knowing look, he couldn’t deny that he was curious about your intentions, about what you could possibly be thinking by being so willing to acquaint yourself with a poor painter like him. It was oddly refreshing, and he could safely say you were the first lady to still treat him with such attention and respect after coming to know his social standing. 

“Would you like to claim your reward now, then? I was just about to head back to my studio, we could have some tea before you head back?” 

You frowned, knowing very well that as much as you would like that, you couldn’t very well do that now. 

At the sight of your frown, Mr Suh sucked in a sharp breath, “Poor timing?” 

Pressing your lips into a firm line, you nodded, “Unfortunately. I have to be at the church, I was supposed to get the new flower arrangements done for the altar and all…” 

Mr Suh’s eyebrows lifted, nodding in understanding, it seemed there was even more he was curious about you now. 

“Will you be playing the organ for the mass today too, dear?” the old woman asked, earning a hum from Mr Suh when you gave an affirmative nod. 

“You know how to play?” he asked, earning an insistent hum from the old woman. 

“ Very well , in fact,” she told him, and somehow you felt a strange sense of bashfulness under the praise of the old woman, though it wasn’t as if you were a stranger to hearing it from her. 

Somehow, the fact that you were in the presence of Mr Suh as you heard it reminded you of the feeling you got when you were younger and your parents were entertaining guests, insisting that you play a piece for them. The feeling of all their eyes on you that filled you with the want to run off into your room, the only time you’d relaxed slightly was when you would centre your focus on the piano, the music being the distraction from their gazes on you. 

The way Mr Suh looked at you, his curious gaze, somehow filled you with this sort of almost-panic, a panic that came with being so focused on, a sudden feeling of being exposed. 

You didn’t have to worry about this with your family, knowing they were all focused on their own worries to pay such delicate attention to your affairs. Mr Suh, however, his gaze was intense, though it did not seem to possess the same intention to nit-pick like your mother, or the insistence of your father’s, or distraction of your sister’s. His could only be described as unadulterated curiosity . 

“I’d love to hear it one day,” his lips curled into a small smile, “perhaps you could grant me the honour of hearing you play while I complete a commission at my studio.” 

You huffed. Somehow the prospect of being able to be involved in the creation of art in such a way enticed you, and it left you feeling excited for the day to come. 

“I would like that,” you told him, turning to the old woman and giving her a small nod to signal that you would like to take the flowers you ordered now. 

“Would you like to take the ones for home now?” she asked, earning a shake of the head from you. 

“No, thank you. I’ll come by later to collect those,” you told her with a smile, turning to Mr Suh and giving a small bow. 

“I should be heading off now.” 

Mr Suh huffed in amusement, “That sounds familiar,” there was a hint of mischief in his tone that made your lips part, a small scoff leaving you. 

“Are you teasing me?” you couldn’t help the huff of laughter that escaped you, earning a smile from him. 

“I mean no menace,” he continued, shaking his head, “I should be off as well…” 

He let out a small sigh, the soft smile lingering on his features, “It was nice to see you here.” 

You huffed, wanting to say more, but settling for a simple nod. 

“When would be a good time for me to come by?” you decided to ask, earning a shrug from him. 

“Whenever it suits you, I’m usually in the studio by the afternoon,” he spoke, earning a tilt of the head from you, prompting him to continue, “okay, how does Friday afternoon sound?” 

You nodded, “Perfect.” 

Bidding him goodbye, your breath hitched at the way his tone had lilted with the same calm confidence as he addressed you, your brain replayed the way he’d addressed you, wondering how his voice could make your name (something you figured you would have been so used to after all your years of living), sound as though it were being spoken to you for the first time. 

You turned and left before you could tempt yourself to stay longer and forget about the flowers in your arms waiting to be displayed, though even the sunflowers seemed to twirl around to face him. 

The giddiness fluttering within you remained as you sat by the stone bench preparing the flowers, the sound of the gentle flowing water of the fountain you were sitting beside somehow reminding you to still your heart, lest you get too carried away with the excitement you felt from your interactions with Mr Suh. 

As you fixed the placement of one of the sunflowers, you let your gaze wander to the elderly woman who was a few benches away from you shaded underneath a large tree, looking at the arrangement of flowers you’d placed at the foot of one of the statues.

Observing her expression as she gazed at the flowers, you wondered what she was thinking about, what she was here for, perhaps even what she was praying for. You knew you weren’t a stranger to it even as you observed her, you had been here many times; out of desperation, out of boredom, out of joy, out of hopelessness. 

You liked the freedom that came with being here, how you could essentially stay undisturbed due to the unspoken understanding that those who came here sought out that same solace and peace you did.

It was more of an escape at first, from the confines of your house and the myriad of books waiting to be read and re-read again. You weren’t sure when it started becoming a place you wished to return to willingly, like an escape you sought out because it became less of an escape and more of a shelter. 

There was vulnerability and protection you found in being alone, in the thought that even if no one was being attentive to you, maybe a higher power was. This thought always pulled you into deeper reflection, it made you struggle with how comfortable and uncomfortable you were in this vulnerability. How perhaps you were comfortable with it because it wasn’t exactly tangible, yet how uncomfortable you felt with it because you knew that this desire for vulnerability, to be seen, known and loved in such a way was something that resonated deep within your soul, and perhaps it was never tangible to begin with. 

Done with the main arrangement meant to be the centrepiece at the altar, you got up, dusting off your dress. Picking up the basket, you made your way down the aisle of the church till you were at the altar, placing the basket delicately onto the marbled floor before something compelled you to take a seat there on the floor of the aisle, looking up at nothing in particular. 

“Do you recognise the painting?” 

You turned your head in the direction of the sound, seeing the priest walking over to you from your left, earning a hum of confusion from you. 

Gesturing above you to the direction you were staring in previously, he gave you a small smile, “You were staring at it, were you not?” 

Turning your head to fix your gaze on the painting, you saw that it was a painting of a raging sea, a boat in the background with many people on it, but a man, and another who you assumed was the Lord on the water, the man looking desperate as he clung on to his saviour. Yet somehow, the way his saviour held him, you could sense the safety, the security present in his hold. 

“Do you recall? That man, Peter, walked out onto the water when the Lord called him.” 

You frowned, nothing about it made any logical sense, to put yourself in such a position of vulnerability, subject to drowning, subject to the harsh currents of the waves willingly . 

“Why did he do that?” was all you could ask, reminded again of this vulnerability, and whether as you looked at this painting, you could see how there was protection in this vulnerability like you had felt before. 

The priest could only huff in amusement, a deep sigh leaving him. 

“Would you like the simple answer?” he asked, earning a sheepish smile from you. 

“Would it be wrong of me to say yes?” 

Shaking his head, the priest turned his gaze back to the painting, “Love.” 

He did it for love?  

Perhaps the answer you wanted really wasn’t for something tangible to begin with, you figured, because you felt his words resonate in your heart. 

How willing were you to be vulnerable? And what were you willing to be vulnerable for? 

“That sounds more like the complex answer,” you huffed, your hands fiddling with the fabric of your dress, picking off leaves that had stuck onto your dress while you made the flower arrangements.

Your words had only earned a laugh from the priest, the elderly man giving you a shrug. 

“I suppose simple doesn’t mean simplistic.” 

Sighing, you nodded, knowing you would be left pondering his words for the next God knows how long . And it was true, even as you played the organ for the mass that day, as you left the church grounds to make your way back to the flower market.

Even as you were greeted by a bouquet of hibiscus flowers the old woman said Mr Suh had left for you, the thought continued to stir your heart. His simple bouquet, which sparked a far-from-simplistic longing in your heart. 

Were you willing to be vulnerable for something like love? 

Perhaps only time would tell. 

=== 

The third rule, a lady like you was not to engage in any activity that could give rise to gossip. A young, unmarried lady like you was never to be alone in the company of a gentleman outside of family and close family friends. Other than during a walk to church or to a park in the morning, a lady like you was not to even so much as walk outside without an appropriate companion.  

“Where are you off to so early, Miss?” Your lady’s maid had asked in a hushed whisper, passing you the little biscuits you asked for her to help you retrieve from the kitchen without your mother noticing. 

“To church,” you smiled, earning a surprised hum from her. 

“I suppose this is the message you would like for me to relay if anyone were to ask for your whereabouts?” her tone was knowing, a hint of a smile playing at her lips as she handed you the makeshift bag she made using the cloth used to wrap your biscuits. 

You smiled, nodding at her as you let out an exaggerated wistful sigh, “I cannot express how thankful I am to have you here. You’re an absolute breath of fresh air in this house.” 

She huffed in amusement, shaking her head at you, glancing around the kitchen before lowering her voice to a mere murmur, “Will you be back late?” 

You shook your head.

“I’ll be back in time for tea, I’m going to visit a painter.” 

She gasped, a deadpan tone to her joking as she brought a hand up to cover her mouth, “Need I get the chemicals ready to soak your dress when you return?” 

You rolled your eyes in good-nature, a giggle leaving you in your embarrassment. 

“I won’t make a mess of myself this time, I promise,” touching her arm, you told her with as serious a look as you could muster, earning a deep sigh from her. 

You supposed it was warranted, she’d known you since you were a baby, it was only right that she’d grown accustomed to your rather clumsy nature. 

“I’d rather you not make promises you can’t keep, Miss.” 

“I’ll be good, I promise ,” you grinned, fighting your laughter as you saw her expression dripping with scepticism. 

“I do miss your sister dearly, she was never one to keep me on my toes like you do. I’m always fighting for breath these days when I talk to the madam,” she let out a wistful sigh.  

You huffed, already beginning to walk out of the kitchen, “Don’t miss me too much when I’m gone,” you waved, practically brisk walking out of your house and beginning on the route you had planned in your head since the day of the races. 

Saying you were going to church wasn’t a complete lie. And it was important to note this, because you weren’t a very good liar to begin with, so details like these helped. 

Walking into the church grounds, you’d initially planned on just walking through it as a shortcut to the market, but you couldn’t deny the little anxiousness within your heart that came with your excitement. Frankly, you weren’t sure what you were expecting from your meeting with Mr Suh later, though you knew there was a need to maintain a level of secrecy about it.

Perhaps it was the guilt from this secrecy that compelled you to make a little detour, sitting on the same bench you saw the elderly woman sitting at the other day. 

Only when you were sitting in the same position as she was, you realised how different it felt to be sitting right in front of the little grotto. It felt much more like you were up-front instead of still having the pseudo-security of being a little further from the little altar. 

Somehow, you found yourself listing out in your head the various things you’d planned on doing today, imagining (and perhaps hoping as well) that while you went about these things, this higher power would be watching over you, protecting you as you went about your day. The thought served to comfort you, and you found yourself feeling a little less nervous about seeing Mr Suh. 

You wouldn’t have known that Mr Suh was equally if not more nervous than you were, finding himself agonising over which flowers he wished to gift you when you were to arrive. 

The way the old woman mending the store was looking at him wasn’t helping much either, with her knowing looks and watchful gaze as she observed the flowers he leaned towards. 

“Are you planning on getting them for Miss Y/N?” the woman finally asked after she seemed to have enough of his indecision.

Mr Suh nodded, “I was wondering if you could advise me on the meanings of the flowers?” he asked, earning a smile from the woman. 

“My dear, there are far too many flowers here for me to advise you on all of them now. Perhaps you could tell me what you wish to convey, and I could help you pick the right flowers accordingly?” 

Mr Suh hummed thoughtfully. He didn’t want something too forward, or something that would make you wonder what the special occasion was. At this point, all that was coming to mind was the image of your smile that he wished to have the honour of witnessing again. She does have a lovely smile. 

“Yellow tulips, then!” the woman offered gleefully, making Mr Suh’s eyes widen. He was glad Jaehyun wasn’t here, he didn’t think he would be able to recover from his slip-up so easily if that was the case. 

And so yellow tulips were what you were greeted with when you’d arrived at the studio, barely shutting the door behind you before you were greeted by the bright yellow that you found eliciting a smile from you without even noticing. 

“Are these for me?” you asked, the nod he gave you making you stretch your fingers in your gloves before you accepted the flowers from him, noticing the lack of gloves on his hands. 

“They couldn’t possibly be for me, I don’t think my smile is worthy of being compared to sunshine.” 

Your eyebrows lifted in surprise, feeling warmth travel to your face and neck as you averted your gaze. 

“I’m… flattered to know you think mine is.” 

That seemed to elicit a smile from him, rivalling his words from before with the way he was beaming at you, a little giggle leaving him.

“You can set them aside here in the meantime, I was just in the middle of working on a small piece,” he told you, taking the flowers from you to set them in a makeshift vase. A little cup with dried paint on its mouth and exterior filled with clear water. 

“What of?” you glanced at the canvas on the easel in front of a tall stool, not being able to distinguish the markings on the canvas, seeming to be in its early stages of creation. 

Waiting for his reply, you took the opportunity to look around the studio. It was cleaner than you expected it to be, with how it was left unoccupied by the previous landlord for as long as you could remember. 

You noticed the carpets over various parts of the floor, the patterns resembling the ones you had at home. There were various tables around the room, used more for temporary storage than for display, housing various sketches on loose pieces of paper and card. Even so, the sketches were of various landscapes and nature. 

There were no statues here, contrary to what you expected, mainly bowls of fruits and flowers that you assumed were for still-life paintings or sketches. It wasn’t furnished anything like you imagined a typical painter’s studio to look like. You’d expected more statues of human figures, more artwork of people or portraits. The most life you detected in the room other than him and the bowls of fruits and flowers was the piano sitting at the side of the room. 

He stood in front of a tall easel that rested on a large cloth over the carpet to catch any mess that could ruin the rug. Next to the easel, there was a small table with his palette, and a little glass jar he used for water, a set of what you identified as watercolours next to the jar. 

“Your expression is making me curious. Penny for your thoughts?” 

You hummed, shaking your head when you decided against voicing out your thoughts. You wouldn’t want to risk offending him. 

Mr Suh seemed undeterred, simply tilting his head at you curiously, “What seems to be stopping you from telling me?” 

Daring yourself to glance at him in surprise at his forwardness, you shook your head, “No, no, I just… I don't want to speak out of turn.” 

Expecting him to simply nod and move on to another topic, you were even more surprised when he huffed in amusement, dismissing your worries with his gentle gaze. 

“I can assure you, I won’t expect you to bear the consequences for my feelings.”

Walking over to the tall easel where he stood, you pressed your lips together and mustered whatever courage you had to be honest with your thoughts. Something about his reassurance told you it was safe to allow yourself that much in this space. 

“I was just thinking that… your studio doesn’t look like what I expected it to look like,” you began, earning a nod from him, prompting you to continue, “I expected… more… you know, life .” 

Mr Suh’s expression remained calm and confident as always, as if he’d expected you to have pointed it out at one point. 

“I understand why you may think that,” he huffed with a smile. 

“Was it intentional?” you asked, “the focus on landscapes?” 

He nodded, his gaze fixed on yours, the attentiveness he offered to you once again feeling foreign, yet somehow reassuring. 

“I don’t do portraits. And I know it sounds foolish, considering they make more money than paintings of nature and whatnot. But it’s somewhat of a… personal philosophy , I suppose.”

Sensing your confusion, he huffed in amusement, continuing, “I find there is much more life to be found in nature that we overlook. When we’re not so concerned with… you know,” you met his gaze again, the same captivating feeling rendering your attention only fixed on him, “material things.” 

You nodded, his words striking a chord with you, remembering the many conversations you had with your sister on your worries about your debut, about whether you would be accomplished enough, presentable enough, respectable enough. When the desire, that intangible desire that resonated within you remained; the want to be seen, known and loved for your soul, unaffected by money or status. 

“It’s hard to be unconcerned with that in this society,” you huffed, earning a nod from him. 

“I suppose a lady like you has no choice but to be concerned about it,” he murmured, earning a sigh from you. 

“I wish I didn’t have to be.” 

Mr Suh gave you a soft smile, “At least… you don’t have to be while you’re here.” 

You hadn’t noticed you were smiling, something about his words making a wave of relief wash over you. Like a breath of fresh air, to hear that he wasn’t expecting you to be your mother’s daughter while you were here. The little invitation behind his words was enough to make you want to laugh. You were almost wondering why you’d felt so nervous to come here just a while ago. 

Making your way to the piano, you took a seat in front of it, still failing to stifle your smile, turning to him with a nod. 

“I… I’m afraid I like that offer a little too much.” 

And so that was what the studio became for you, a place where you were free to be alone yet share in the company of another, to allow for the creation of art within the space that you came to realise held more life than you initially thought. 

There was life found in the sound of the music that filled the walls, life found in the way Mr Suh’s brush would dance over the canvas, bringing colours alive with his fluid movements, life found in the little sparks of excitement and understanding when you would glance over at each other ever so often. 

“I like that piece the most,” Mr Suh told you as you were preparing to leave, holding out the last honey biscuit to him for him to take. Pinching it between his fingers, he popped it into his mouth. 

“You do?” 

He nodded, swallowing the last of the biscuit in his mouth as he smiled, “It happens to be my favourite.” 

Something about that knowledge made you see the piece in a different light, not having expected him to choose that of all the ones you played that day. 

Something about it was almost ironic, the meaning of the piece being to cast away earthly pleasures for a greater, spiritual love. It made you think about whether the intangible desire in your heart resonated in his as well. 

Unfortunately, that little moment was cut short when Mr Suh had taken out a small pouch that jingled in an all-too-familiar way, reminding you of your father’s study. 

“What’s this?” he set the pouch in your free hands, taking the empty cloth used to hold your honey biscuits and folding it neatly for you. 

Mr Suh hummed, “Take it as… pin money. I wouldn’t have been able to complete those paintings without the beautiful music you played.” 

Before you could refuse, he shook his head, “I insist, really. If you won’t accept it for the music, accept it for the biscuits.” 

Narrowing your eyes at him, you huffed, taking the now neatly folded cloth back from him. 

“You’re not going to take it back regardless, aren’t you?” 

The grin he sent your way was enough to make your knees feel weak. 

“You’re a quick learner, Miss Y/N,” he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers.  

Again, the feeling akin to a gentle brushstroke on canvas, unassuming, yet permanent with the way the colour stood out against the white. 

“Will I be seeing you again soon?” he dared to ask, and you found yourself almost breathless as you searched for an appropriate reply. 

“Do you wish to?” 

Mr Suh wasn’t sure what came over him either. It was akin to an inner knowing, a gut feeling, an unmistakable intuitive feeling that told him not to fight the fact that he was drawn to you, the fact that he wanted to know you more. So, he decided not to fight it, as risky as the decision felt to him. 

“I do, if you are consenting.”  

You huffed, amusement in the way the smile played at your lips, nodding at him. “Then you will see me again tomorrow.” 

It became an unspoken agreement of sorts, for you to visit him in the mornings until it was time for you to return home for tea, blaming your happiness or giddiness on a particularly blessed time of prayer, or the time you took to get back home on the time you would ‘stay back’ in the church grounds on your own. 

Though your father didn’t mind, always having excused you whenever it came to matters of religion, your mother didn’t like it. She wouldn’t hesitate to express how she felt it wasn’t necessary for you to be devoting so much of your time to going to church when you had better things to do, like brushing up on your piano playing, refining your needlework skills or reading and internalising more conduct books. 

They wouldn’t know that the real reason behind your departure from home lay behind the (now many) flowers pressed between the pages of your many conduct books. Each one attached to a special memory of Mr Suh’s bouquets he gifted to you during your visits, the arrangements handpicked by him and unlike any you’d seen or made before. 

Though it was no secret that Mr Suh enjoyed your company and conversation, there was always a little nagging in his head that would return every now and then. It was as if its purpose was to remind him of who you were in society. It would return whenever he heard gossip in the market the morning after a ball, or chatter from bachelors in a local bar. It served as a  reminder that no matter how close the both of you were getting, you were still a lady, who could be subject to such gossip and chatter if you weren’t careful. 

“You’re risking your virtue each time you come out here to see me, you are aware of that right?" He spoke, while you were engrossed in sifting through his various sketches, finding ones to display on the walls of his studio. 

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, holding up a sketch of a tall, sturdy-looking tree planted by the water.

"And what is virtue to you, the man who keeps inviting me here?" you hummed.

Mr Suh narrowed his eyes at you, albeit amused at your witty reply. 

"I meant without a chaperone."

You sighed, almost instinctively assuming the disposition you would when you were being nagged by your mother. 

“I think it’s a little belated for you to be telling me this,” you muttered, still distracted by his sketches, your hands reaching up over your head to see what it would look like higher up on the wall. 

“Miss Y/N,” his tone was firmer than usual, insistent for you to pay attention. 

“Hmm? How do you think this would look up here?” you thought out loud, not having noticed him getting up from his stool to walk over to you, his hand reaching out to pin the paper you were holding against the wall with apparent ease, making you come down from your tip-toes. 

Turning around, you were shocked at how close he was, your eyes widening and taking a step back. 

“Are you listening?” 

In your surprise, you sputtered out whatever made sense to you in your head. 

“Right, yes. Chaperoning.” 

This had only managed to earn a quirked eyebrow from Mr Suh, “Yes… chaperoning …” 

“You understand the need for it, don’t you?” he continued, insistence in his tone. 

You huffed, “Don’t you think we’re past that by now? My parents are too caught up with whatever their latest worry is. If anything, they're relieved I'm finding something to occupy myself with. I’d only be a nuisance if I remained at home.” 

Mr Suh relaxed his arm, grasping the sketch in his hand as he lowered his arm to his side. 

“You’re avoiding the point. How can you be so sure that you trust me?” His eyebrows furrowed, seeming as if he were in disbelief that it was possible. You didn’t understand that. 

You shook your head. 

“I’m not,” you met his gaze, his eyes that shone a beautiful hazel in the sunlit space of his studio, “that is up to you to show me who you are, and up to me to be discerning about it.” 

His gaze softened, making you feel prompted to continue. 

“I am very aware of my stand in society, if that is what you are asking. But didn’t we agree? That this would be a place where that doesn’t matter?”

Mr Suh’s expression was pensive, his lips pressed into a firm line as he searched your gaze for something unknown to him, “Forgive me, I am simply concerned for you. It would do you no good to be seen with a man like me.” 

You sighed, ducking down to take the sketch from his hand and glancing at it, the sketch of the tree planted beside the water. 

You let out a huff of amusement, “Be kinder to yourself, Mr Suh. I’m not being forced to be here. Your company has been more enjoyable than any man I have come across.”

Sensing he was taken aback by your words, you decided to change the subject. 

“You have many sketches of places I have never seen before. Were they all places you’ve visited?” you asked, using a simple glue to attach just the top of the sketch to the wall, not wanting to ruin it if you decided you wanted to take it down. 

Mr Suh cleared his throat, “Yes, they were all from my travels, or some of the places I remember visiting.” 

Humming, you picked up the other sketch you planned on displaying as well, amusing Mr Suh  (and perhaps making his heart flutter) with how seriously you regarded his sketches, even if most of them were done on a whim. 

“They seem like lovely places. What made you come here, then? I wouldn’t say this area is as lovely as what I've been seeing in your sketches.” 

Huffing, Mr Suh’s tongue peeked out to wet his lips, a relaxed nature in the way he watched you go about your movements, “My father passed. This was uh… his birthplace.” 

At that, you turned to face him, tilting your head at him as your gaze softened.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” 

Letting out a huff of laughter that bordered on bitterness, he shook his head in dismissal, “There’s no need to be sorry. We were not that close.” 

Frowning, you let out a small sound of disagreement. 

“It’s not a crime, you know? There’s no rule that says you aren’t allowed to grieve simply because you weren’t close to him.” 

Mr Suh felt a little wave of comfort reach him at your words, comfort that he didn’t realise he needed until the words left your lips and graced his ears. It left him feeling strangely grateful. Not just for your words, but for your heart which allowed you to feel so sensitively for others. 

“Thank you,” was all he could muster, earning a soft smile from you. 

“What was your relationship like? You know, to your father?” you dared yourself to ask, sensing that it would do him some good to talk about it. 

“He was strict with me when I was growing up… actually, he was a rather quiet man, a contrast to my personality. I always found I was more similar to my mother, more… expressive,” there was a gentle smile on his features at the mention of his mother, something about it making you want to hear more. 

“I was more comfortable talking to my mother, and naturally she was more involved in my activities and whatnot while I was growing up… it’s a bit strange now that I think of it. Even while she called me her own little nicknames and terms of endearment, it felt more comfortable for me to hear that as opposed to my own name, only my father called me that. But even though that was the case, it still felt awkward hearing it from him.” 

You nodded, your attentiveness prompting him to continue. 

“I don’t regret it, though. It wasn’t as though we had a bad relationship, it just felt… a bit more formal, less playful than the one I had with my mother.” 

“That’s what matters, I suppose, that you have no regrets,” you shrugged. 

Mr Suh nodded, “That’s what I thought, as well. My duty now is just to… carry on, I suppose.” 

You nodded. 

“Awfully wise of you,” you quipped, earning a smile from him. 

“Of course, I thought you would’ve known that about me by now,” he teased, earning an eye roll from you, though there was no menace behind the gesture. 

You huffed, “I can only imagine what you were like as a child,” you murmured, your imagination getting the better of you. 

The look on his face made it seem as though he were recalling his childhood, huffing a small laugh as he shook his head, “I don’t think I’ve changed much, to be honest.” 

The honesty of your next words surprised you.

“You must’ve been the loveliest little boy, then. I’m sure of it.” 

The smile you received in return was new, tinted with bashfulness unlike the usual calm and confident exterior you were used to seeing. He averted his gaze, poorly stifling his smile before looking back at you and shaking his head. 

“You’ve got a dangerous way with words, Miss Y/N,” he sighed, though his smile lingered on his features. 

“Of course, I thought you would’ve known that about me by now,” you recalled his words, using them to tease him in the same lilting way that he did, though he was sure the effect you had on him was much worse, his laughter bubbling out of him without restraint, his hand reaching out to grab the table next to him in a poor attempt to steady himself. 

You were growing to like it, this honesty that was growing in how the both of you were showing up to each other. Honesty that wasn’t hidden behind etiquette rules or social ‘do’s and ‘don’t’s. What you and him were experiencing with each other felt authentic, unfiltered. 

Sure it may have been frowned upon, it may have been deemed risky or dangerous, but in moments like these where all you could focus on was his smile and the way it warmed your heart. Conduct books be damned, looking at him now, you couldn’t find it in you to care. 

=== 

Another important thing for a lady like you to note, is that whatever your views are in marrying, you should take every possible precaution to prevent their being disappointed.

“How was yesterday’s ball?” 

You grimaced, your playing slowing down, the melody taking a more melancholic turn,  “I’d rather not talk about that.” 

“Was it that terrible?” he laughed, busy with sorting aside his tools and paints. Today was more of an ‘inventory day’, it seemed. 

You groaned, stopping your playing altogether, “Perhaps it would’ve been more bearable if you were there. Then at least I wouldn’t have to torture myself listening to countless men tell me how much they preferred a demure, quiet young lady with better birthing hips than I had.” 

Mr Suh didn’t bother trying to hide his amusement, letting his laughter bubble out freely as you tried to make your glare firm, though the more he laughed, the more it helped you find some sort of amusement in the memory. 

“I think your hips are fine,” he spoke, though the moment the words left him you could see him press his lips together firmly, a laugh threatening to spill out.

Scoffing, you couldn’t help but laugh as well, “My sister would perish if she heard you say that.” 

“Perish because I’m right? Though, I’m not so sure I could say the same about you being demure or quiet, unfortunately,” he told you knowingly, making you scoff. 

“I’d like to argue with you, but even I can’t argue with that,” you sighed, turning your body on the cushioned seat and closing the lid of the piano so you could lean against it. 

“Has there really been nobody trying to… court you?” he asked, more out of curiosity than out of an actual want for you to say that there has been. God knows he didn’t want that. 

You sighed, bringing one arm up to rest against the top of the piano, using your gloved hand to support your head as you looked at him busying himself with sorting out what he could keep and what needed to be disposed of. 

“It’s… difficult to explain. I know eligibility is one thing, background, status, wealth, the lot ,” you huffed, gesturing with your free hand as you spoke, something you were sure your mother would’ve chided you for if she was here, “but it's awfully difficult to grow attached to any of these men… they seem to have an image of me in their minds that they aren’t willing to compromise.” 

Mr Suh looked up from his paint, sensing your frustration that you were struggling to keep hidden, deciding to sit on the stool and show that he was listening, his hands finding their way to his pockets once again. 

“It’s as though I’m not allowed to be anyone else other than the perfect wife they’ve conjured up in their heads… how can you expect me to want that? To… to want to feel lonely in a conversation? To want to just constantly feel underestimated and misinterpreted . When I think of marriage, of a life with someone…” you glanced at him, averting your gaze to the floor, “I think of offering them my heart, but I don’t think of doing that to be met with money and a loveless house in return.”

You turned your head, adjusting it so you could support your head more comfortably, holding Mr Suh’s gaze as he looked at you, an understanding shared in his silence that you never appreciated more. 

You knew that within this unspoken understanding, you had to acknowledge that things were different here from how they were at the ball. Now, as you were in this space, under his gaze, you weren’t underestimated, you weren’t being ‘sheltered’ from anything deemed too much for you. Mr Suh let you be yourself here, receiving you graciously as you were, and you were starting to truly appreciate that. 

“The marriage market is truly lonelier than it seems,” he sighed. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Nothing, just… from what you tell me. Am I mistaken?” 

You huff, shaking your head, “Definitely not. I’d be better off having more stimulating conversations with a priest than any of the men I spoke to last night.” 

Mr Suh couldn’t help the laughter that escaped him at the image you put in his head, “A priest? Not even me?” 

You rolled your eyes, “That goes without saying, it’s obvious I much prefer talking to you.” 

Mr Suh couldn’t help the way his heart felt like it slowed at your words, the way it felt like he was finally taking a deep breath after a while of not breathing. It was refreshing, seeing someone so honest and unashamed of their feelings and thoughts like you were. He found he had come to like that about you. Very much. 

“Speaking of priests, do you really go to church in the mornings? Or is that just limited to an excuse you use to sneak off here,” he gave you a teasing smile, making you huff, shaking your head at him. 

“I do, sometimes.” 

“For the flower arrangements?” he asked, recalling the time you had met at the flower market. 

Shaking your head, “Not just for that. But that wasn’t how it started.” 

Mr Suh hummed, his eyebrows lifting as he prompted you to continue. 

“It’s… well, it sounds a little funny but I used to wander around the neighbourhood as an excuse to leave the house… My parents never really noticed because they were busy with my sister’s debut and family business affairs at the time, but my father would always excuse me if I said it was to visit the church,” you huffed, “I liked it, actually. There was something so… peaceful, about the church grounds.” 

“I suppose it didn’t feel like I was just wandering around whenever I went there, because I could see all sorts of things and people… people in their desperation, their hope, in their vulnerability… somewhat like I was when I was watching them,” you averted your gaze to the vase of white lilies that sat on top of the little round table he had near him, reminding you of your sister, “there was a period around last year, if I recall correctly. My sister was going through a difficult time, and I was worried sick about her… my role in the family was always to just occupy myself with my own whims and fancies, to be kept out of the loop because they were afraid I couldn’t handle the truth of things. But I knew what was happening.” 

Mr Suh nodded, “Did something happen to her?” 

You nodded, “The family was at risk of being in debt because of a man my mother was trying to marry her off to while she was in love with someone else, who we weren’t sure was ever going to return to town. Honestly, the situation didn’t seem very hopeful at the time, and I had to just keep pretending I didn’t know what was happening when I was in front of my parents.” 

“It was scary, to see how she almost married into a lie.” 

Glancing at Mr Suh, you were surprised to find his gaze still on you, attentive, patient, reassuring. You shifted in your seat, your hands in your lap as you fiddled with your fingers and your gloves. 

“It grew difficult, obviously, to be always finding ways to feel useful and overcompensating at home because I felt so helpless, so I would go off to the church as a sort of escape, you know? A place where I didn’t have to be ‘doing’, a place where I could just… feel what I was feeling.” 

Humming, Mr Suh nodded, “It was safe there,” he commented, earning a nod from you. 

“I suppose my loitering grew obvious,” you huffed in amusement, “because one day the priest just came up to me and asked me if I was alright, you know, if there was anything I needed.” 

“So, I told him how I was feeling—again, I’m not very sure what compelled me to do that, but it felt natural, I suppose, since I felt safe there—and I asked him what a person in my position could do. And he told me something really interesting… he said faith is nothing without trust, and … at the heart of trust is to be vulnerable. That was all I could do, to let myself be vulnerable and trust that what I was doing for my sister was enough, even if I didn’t feel like it was.” 

Mr Suh nodded, your words seeming to resonate with him again, the similar desires within your hearts to be vulnerable and be protected and loved in this vulnerability that came with baring your heart and soul to another. 

“I suppose that was how it started, because it made me realise that I wanted that. I was busy telling myself that I couldn’t because I would feel helpless, but I wanted to allow myself to be who I was, to feel all that I felt and be seen in all of that, and to know what it is like to be loved for that, to be supported in that. But… I suppose that is the dilemma I have found myself in,” you laughed, “searching for all of that in a place as ruthless as the marriage market when I couldn’t even seem to find it from my own parents.” 

The questions continued to circle in your head as you looked at Mr Suh, wondering what he was thinking after hearing your tiring monologue. Your mother always told you you had far too many words, no man would be bothered to listen to you. But for some reason, you hoped that if anyone were to, Mr Suh would. 

“Miss Y/N,” he began, the gentleness to his tone paralysing you again, as if grasping you by the shoulders and forcing you to look at him, “I cannot promise you much… but you make me want to promise you all that I have. Even if it is this modest space, I want to promise you that it is safe for you.”

Somehow, that was enough for you.   

A warmth had flooded you, sending warmth to your eyes, a lump forming in your throat that made you feel as though you were dipping your fingers into the depths of this vulnerability you were entering with him. 

You gave him a soft smile, your unspoken expression that it was enough.  

Somehow, that was enough for him. 

Straightening up in your seat, you let out a deep sigh, “But you are right, I can think of far much more excitement to be found elsewhere than debutante balls.” 

Mr Suh quirked an eyebrow at you, not minding the fact that you changed the subject so abruptly judging from the amusement in his smirk, “Is that so? Enlighten me.” 

“Perhaps I shall write a scandal sheet!” you exclaimed, even if you didn’t mean it. 

Always quick to bounce off of your words, Mr Suh scoffed, “You don’t need an excuse to write about me.” 

Not being able to help the laugh that bubbled out of you, you gasped, “How did you know? I already had an article prepared: ‘ Local painter is too flirtatious for his own good’ .” 

Mr Suh laughed, getting up from his stool to make his way over to the little table sat against the wall, your curiosity getting the better of you as you made your way over to where he was, peering over curiously at the various bottles of things he had on the table. 

“What are these for?” 

Pointing at the little bottles he had, labelled in a scrawl you weren’t focused enough to decipher, he spoke, “These are bottles of pigments. I don’t have an assistant or an apprentice or anything like that, so I usually like to make my oil paints myself since I only need them in smaller quantities at a time. It’s quite therapeutic actually.” 

“Is it difficult to make?” 

Sensing your curiosity, Mr Suh smiled, a certain playfulness to his gaze, “Nothing you can’t handle. Do you want to try?” 

Excited by the offer, you nodded, seeing him start to bring out the various things you would need, lifting a granite slab you were sure you would’ve had difficulty lifting onto a long table behind you, followed by another block of granite that was long and flat at the bottom, looking somewhat like a cone but without the sharp edge of it. 

Taking out two small bottles the size of his palm, he made his way over to you, “This is what gives it the colour,” he pointed at one of the bottles, opening it to reveal an earthy brown colour. 

“There’s others, but I wanted to make this one, so I suppose you could help me with that instead.” 

You nodded, eager for him to get on with explaining the process to you, bubbling with excitement from how long it’d been since you got to do anything involving paint. 

“I’ll help you add the oil, and then you can start to use the muller to work it into the pigment.” 

“I’m sorry, the what?” you furrowed your eyebrows, earning giggles from Mr Suh. 

“Perhaps I should just show you, I think that would be better. But before I do that,” he stopped himself, turning to his easel and picking up the apron that hung from its side, your eyes widening as he held it by the neck, “May I?” 

You nodded, wordless as he draped the apron over you while facing you, his gaze intent and maybe even slightly amused at your expression as he let his hands find the strings at the sides, your breath hitching as he reached them around your waist to tie them in a loose knot behind your back, his proximity sending shivers down your spine. Trying to calm your nerves, you took off your gloves, setting them onto the table. 

“There, you may proceed,” his tone was teasing as ever, letting you continue as you folded the oil into the paint using the little paint knife like how he had shown you before. His hands had moved with practised and controlled strength, unlike yours, who simply enjoyed the sensation and malleability of the paint. 

“You can use the muller now,” he pointed at the block of granite that sat on top of the slab, sitting on the stool near you and watching you as you worked. 

Under his gaze, it didn’t feel as though he were watching because he didn’t trust you with the pigment, but quite the opposite, as he watched you with a relaxed demeanour, a hint of a smile playing at his features. 

You weren’t sure how long you were working the muller into the paint, but you were definitely developing a newfound respect for whoever did this as a job. Though you did see why it was therapeutic, you felt weak as you heaved the muller around, wanting to laugh as you imagined how you must look. 

“What an honour it is, to have the diamond of the first water making oil paint for me,” Mr Suh lilted, making you huff, using your forearm to dab at the sweat that formed on your temple, continuing with the rhythmic movements you were growing used to. 

“You’re awfully mistaken, I’m not the diamond.” 

Expecting him to tell you he was joking, you should’ve known Mr Suh had an equally, if not more dangerous way with his words than you did. 

“Is that so? The queen’s judgement is clearly not to be trusted, then… I know that much as I’m looking at you now.” 

Your breath hitched, recovering quickly as you continued your movements, lifting the block to scrape the paint off the edges and collect it on the slab so you could continue to work it in. 

“Are you teasing me?” you scoffed, laughing in spite of yourself. 

Mr Suh, however, remained sincere, the slightest of smiles on his face, “Not in the slightest bit.” 

You weren’t sure how to react, his words flustering you to no end, but you spoke your mind nonetheless. 

“You’re funny, saying that to me while I’m performing an act like this. I can’t imagine how un-ladylike this must look,” you huffed, amused in a way that made Mr Suh smile without knowing. 

“Not quite, something about the way you do it is very… graceful,” he hummed, “perhaps you would have to be in my position to understand what I mean.” 

Turning to face him, your eyebrows lifted in scepticism, “Let us swap places, then. Though, I doubt it would be the same. You’re much more experienced than I am.” 

Always agreeable to your little suggestions, Mr Suh stood up, making his way over to you as you padded over to the stool he sat on before, watching him pick up where you left off. 

Your only thought was that he was right. He was right, he was absolutely right. 

Watching him as he mulled the paint, you found yourself captivated once again, if he thought you were graceful, you wished you could show him what he looked like. There was a certain seriousness he tapped into the moment he stepped up to the table, the gravity with which he regarded his craft, the sincerity he put into it. It attracted you, quite simply. 

Your gaze wandered over to his arms, his hands, the strength they held, making the block of granite look much smaller than when you held it, you figured. It was strength, in its most gentle, practised form. A strength that did not destroy, but that created. 

Something about that thought added to the feelings you associated with the studio, that it was a space of safety, unlike the many debutante balls and soirées you attended. You were starting to wonder if it was the space that made you feel that way, or the presence of Mr Suh within it. After all, it was him that encouraged you to be honest, to be yourself, to try things because he believed you were capable. 

In short, you felt seen. 

“Are you alright?” you hadn’t realised you were staring, Mr Suh tilting his head at you curiously. 

You shook your head, clearing your throat gently in an attempt to conceal your embarrassment, standing up from the stool and stretching your hand out to him. 

“Can I try again?” 

He smiled, already stepping aside to let you take your place at the table.

===

Other rules to help a lady like you squelch the possibilities of romantic passion included forbidding the use of Christian names, paying compliments, and any kind of intimate contact.

“What’s this?” you touched a leatherbound book, secured closed with a string around the middle that sat on the table where you’d placed a fresh vase of salmon coloured roses from Mr Suh. 

Mr Suh turned around from where he was standing at his easel, setting the piece of charcoal in his hands down when he saw what you were looking at, quickly making his way over (borderline stumbling) as he took the book gently from your hands. 

You had grown comfortable with each other, having no qualms about entering deeper conversation, about embarrassing yourselves with each other, revealing deeper parts of yourself to each other, so it was safe to say that his reaction confused you. 

“Is it your diary?” you asked, eyes lighting up with a hint of mischief that Mr Suh found hard to remain firm against. 

Giving you a huff, he held the book behind his back with one arm, “It might as well be.” 

“So, it's not a diary? A notebook, then?” you asked, almost feeling like you were playing a game with how naturally your guesses were coming out, the childlike side of yourself resurfacing and making itself comfortable in Mr Suh’s presence. 

He nodded, “it’s my sketchbook.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him slightly, “... that I am not allowed to see?” 

Swallowing thickly, Mr Suh huffed, a hint of embarrassment in the way he averted his gaze just briefly, looking back at you and shaking his head. 

“What you ask of me… is not as simple as you make it seem,” he began, letting out a small sigh, “I would be baring my heart to you, quite plainly.” 

You weren’t sure why the thought of that made you wonder just what was inside his sketchbook. He insisted himself that he did not do portraits, so just what sort of sketches could be within that book that made him so hesitant to show you? You wondered what sketches could possibly hold pieces of his heart so clearly that he felt the need to protect it in such a way. 

“Is that such a horrifying thing?” You asked, genuinely curious, “you seem to have no problem flaunting it on your sleeve.” 

At your words, Mr Suh let out a huff of amusement, his lips pressed together as his expression turned more serious, almost speechless as he shook his head. 

“Not quite… you’ve been the only one able to see it thus far,” his words came out in a soft murmur, solidifying the thoughts that wavered in your heart. 

It was almost like a declaration of intimacy, something stirring within you at the reminder that your relationship with Mr Suh was more than just acquaintances, solidified by friendship and understanding, but entering into much more. 

You shook your head, “Only because you have dared to show it to me.” 

The look on Mr Suh’s face was unreadable, as if he had a million thoughts circling his mind that prevented him from settling on one emotion. And there you stood, oblivious to the fact that he was experiencing that same paralysing feeling of not being able to focus on anything other than you. 

“I’m sorry, I’m afraid I cannot show it to you yet,” he sighed, sounding more disappointed than you were. He should’ve known you weren’t one to dwell on it, though, respecting his wishes. 

“I understand,” you assured him, “Well, if you won’t let me see your sketchbook, what will you let me see?” 

Mr Suh’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, a soft smile gracing his features, humming in thought. 

“I suppose I could draw something for you now?” he offered, earning a smile from you as what you supposed was a reckless (genius) idea came to mind. 

“Could you draw it on me?” 

Mr Suh’s lips parted, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him or whether you’d actually said what he thought you did. 

“Hmm?” 

You nodded, “I said I want you to draw it on me.” 

Whether it was bold or reckless, you wouldn’t very well put a label on it at the moment. What you did know, however, was that this was definitely going against anything a ‘respectable lady like you’ should have been doing. It was different, you felt, from simply asking if he could draw you. It was like you said, a kind of vulnerability and trust you were willing to offer to him, for him to print his art onto your skin, something only the both of you would be able to see. 

Mr Suh’s throat felt dry, looking at you blankly and keeping his volume lowered because he felt as though his voice would give, “Uh… where, where exactly would you want it?” 

You debated on your options as you looked at him. You wanted it somewhere where you could keep it hidden, where your mother wouldn’t be able to see it as easily.

You knew that ruled out your hands and arms, since your mother’s gaze was always scanning you during mealtimes and when you played the piano, when your hands and arms weren’t hidden by your gloves. 

Your only other thought was to have it on your ankle, since that would be somewhere only you or your lady's maid would ever see, your mother didn’t very well pay attention to little details like that when it came to you, as long as what was noticeable wasn’t out of line. 

“Sorry, I realise I didn’t bother asking you if you were comfortable with it first,” you huffed, giving him a sheepish smile, feeling your heart stop at the smile he gave you. 

“Believe me, Miss Y/N, if I were uncomfortable with it, I would have told you by now,” he huffed, amusement in his smile as he retrieved his inkstand and quill. 

Only when he sat on the rug in front of you did you realise just what you had gotten yourself into, something about the proximity between the both of you was tempting. It felt close, yet in a way that made you desire to be even closer to him, both in the literal and figurative sense. 

Swallowing, you shifted in your seat, glancing up at him with a nervousness that wasn’t quite present just moments before. 

“Have you decided where, or what you would like me to draw?” he asked, crossing his legs as he leaned his palm against the floor to support his weight, the same calm confidence that made you feel shy under his gaze. 

You nodded, “On my ankle.” 

You watched the way he glanced at said ankle, covered by your stocking and your foot that was still covered by your shoe, blinking up at you before nodding. 

“Somewhere… only I get to see.” 

At that, Mr Suh smiled, “And is there anything in particular you would like me to draw?” 

Now it was your turn to smile, already excited to see what he would come up with, what he would associate with you. 

“I’ll let you decide that.” 

His eyebrows lifted, the image coming to mind almost immediately. 

Giving you a nod, he had barely registered what you were doing as you removed one of your shoes, averting his gaze and pretending to be busy with his ink as you started to remove one of your stockings, his gaze landing on the ribbon garter you had used to hold it up, tossing it aside as you worked on removing the silk stocking. 

Mr Suh let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, looking at his fingernails and then at the ribbon again, at your face and then at the stocking you now tossed aside next to the ribbon, unsure where to place his gaze out of respect for you. 

“May I?” he asked, gesturing to your now uncovered leg peeking out from under the hem of your dress. 

Nodding, he reached one of his hands out to grasp your ankle, the feeling of the warmth of his hands on your skin surprising you, your breath hitching just slightly and hoping he hadn’t noticed. 

You lifted your foot off of the ground to help him, surprised when he’d set your ankle on one of his thighs, understanding that the angle would make it easier for him and more comfortable for you. 

Mr Suh let out a small huff of amusement at the way you’d flinched when the quill had touched your skin. 

“Sorry, it was a little ticklish,” you huffed, the unfamiliar sensation distracting you from your nervousness slightly. 

You heard him sigh, his gaze still trained on whatever drawing he was working on.

“Miss Y/N,” he began, the tone with which he said your name making you soften, almost forgetting about your nervousness as you looked at him, humming in response, “I do hope you are not as willing to offer yourself to just any man in such a manner.” 

Your lips parted in shock, bashfulness creeping up on you again as you huffed, trying to mask your embarrassment with your words, “Do you suppose I should only make such an offer to you?” 

Mr Suh glanced up at you, detecting the little hint of challenge in your tone, his hand resting on where he was holding your ankle to keep it steady, his thumb smoothing over the skin unconsciously (or consciously, you wouldn’t have known). 

“My honest answer?” he spoke, his gaze searching yours with that same calm confidence of his, “is yes.”

Your stare was blank, in spite of the many thoughts racing in your mind. 

“You can rest assured, Mr Suh,” you murmured, suddenly feeling disappointed at the fact you did not know his first name, feeling as though addressing him so formally sounded off in a situation like this, “you are the only one I would trust with myself like this.” So intimately. 

Mr Suh poorly stifled the smile on his face as he tilted his head down, continuing with his drawing as you tried to calm your heart. 

“Actually, if you don’t mind me asking…” you murmured, swallowing as you mustered up your courage in spite of your shyness, “what is your first name?” 

Mr Suh replied naturally, as if not giving it a second thought as you felt the ticklish feeling of the quill against the delicate skin of your ankle. 

“Youngho,” he murmured. 

You hummed, clenching your fist to prevent yourself from shifting from the ticklish feeling.

“Youngho,” you echoed, feeling the ticklish feeling stop almost instantly. 

You felt his grip on your ankle tense before relaxing, looking up from your ankle and blinking at you slowly, his expression unreadable but rendering you speechless with how he was looking at you. 

Letting out a shaky breath, it didn’t register to you why he was so taken aback, your mind racing to the conduct books, wondering if it was because addressing him by his name like this was too intimate, too personal. Only then did your mind recall the conversation you had about his father, figuring that must have been why he seemed so shocked. 

“Sorry,” you blurted out, “I forgot about what you said about your father—” 

“No, no,” Youngho shook his head, reassurance in his expression and his tone, “... I want you to call me that.” 

Your eyebrows lifted, feeling as though something was being unlocked between the both of you, as if now it wasn’t just dipping your fingers into the depth of what you both desired, but stepping in, fully knowing what you were getting into with the action. 

“Will you call me by my first name as well?” 

Youngho nodded slowly, “Do you want me to?” 

You nodded, not even being able to find it in yourself to be embarrassed at how quickly you responded. 

“I do.” 

Youngho hummed, “then I will, Y/N .” 

Somehow, hearing it like that, spoken so delicately, spoken so intentionally by him, it was as if he were giving you more reason to fall in love with hearing your name again. 

It felt like it had been ages ever since you had heard someone call you by your name, hearing it felt foreign, yet it felt right, as if it was the only way you wished to hear it. Like a declaration of love. 

Letting go of your ankle, he gestured with a small (even slightly bashful) smile that you could take a look. With all the eagerness you’d been struggling to restrain, you pulled your leg closer to yourself, your smile growing when you spotted the delicate looking sunflower on your skin. 

“I like it very much,” you murmured, appreciating the delicate look of it, yet how it held a meaning that was anything but. 

Youngho simply smiled, “I’m pleased that you find it to your liking.” 

This time, Youngho wasn’t sure why he couldn’t take his gaze away from you as you wore the stocking over your leg, watching as the little sunflower got covered by the silk fabric that was eventually smoothed over your leg to just over your knee, the way you picked up the pink ribbon garter, tying it around the hem of the stocking with practised, routine movements. 

Youngho brought a hand up to the collar of his shirt, fixing his suspenders out of a need to fidget, to distract himself from his want to know what the silk ribbon would feel like in his hands, to distract himself from the feeling of the distance between the both of you. Yet not being able to feel as though it was a certain reverence that was keeping his gaze on you. 

Once you were done, you smoothed your dress over, standing up with a small grunt, your legs feeling sore from sitting in the same position for so long. Youngho stood up as well, though he kept his gaze averted, knowing it was about time for you to return home for tea. 

“I should be leaving now,” you spoke to fill the silence, drawing his gaze to you, not being able to smile at how flustered he looked, as much as he was trying to hide it. 

Youngho nodded, “Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Be safe on your way back.” 

Seeming to have composed himself, Youngho brought a hand up to run his fingers through his hair, giving you a tight-lipped smile. 

You nodded, taking your little purse and taking slow steps backwards, reluctant to leave even though you knew it would only be a short while before you got to see him again. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, opening the door for you. 

Turning to give him a smile, you nodded, “Goodbye, Youngho.” 

That day when you’d returned home, a giddy smile on your face and your heart thumping wildly like a protagonist in one of your sister’s romance novels, you couldn’t help but replay your interactions with Youngho in your head. 

A part of you wondered why you hadn’t asked him for his name sooner, because now it was all that made sense. The simple man you had come to know, who was genuine, observant, perceptive, sweet, honest. That was Youngho to you, that was what made sense to you. 

Even as you lay in bed that night, thinking about the little sunflower resting on the skin of your ankle, you were sure anybody else would have thought you were going crazy, but it replayed over and over again in your head. 

Youngho. Youngho. Youngho. 

Your little mantra of love. 

===

Another rule that was essential to remember, was that a gentleman might take the arm of a lady like yours through his, to support you while out walking. But he must never try to take your hand, even to shake it friendly-like. If he did, you must immediately withdraw it with a strong air of disapproval, whether you felt it or not. 

Something you greatly appreciated about Youngho was that he was never one to be afraid of getting his hands dirty. 

Surely you were the same, out in the garden digging up earthworms as you were a child even though your mother would yell at you that you were going to get your dress dirty. But overtime, as they clamped down stricter on their rules and as you grew more occupied with the various accomplishments they desired for you to build, you had to forego certain things that would get in the way of that. 

Things like painting. 

As much as it was a common accomplishment for a lady like you to have, your mother had always viewed it distastefully, saying that the way you went about it was far too messy. So you’d resorted to other means of creating art, like your flower arrangements. Those, she would excuse, since they were deemed ‘useful’ for the house, so you figured you had come to cling to it as a way for you to express that desire within you to create, to appreciate beauty in such a way. 

When you had told Youngho this, you should have known it was only natural for him to have offered you the opportunity to paint again. He was quick to give you the space, laying out large cloth on the floor to protect the rug, even going to the extent of asking you if you would be more comfortable working on the piece on the easel or on the floor. 

So that was how you ended up standing in front of the canvas, apron wrapped around you snugly as you let yourself enjoy the freedom of letting your body move without much thought. 

“You’d put me out of business if you sold your paintings,” Youngho huffed in amusement, one of many praises he’d offered to you when he saw you painting.

“I doubt so,” you muttered distractedly, frowning slightly at your painting. 

You huffed, turning slightly and picking up your fan from the little table that was next to your hip, making a last-ditch attempt at making the paint dry faster using the breeze you created with your fan. 

Deciding you had other ideas, you set the fan down on the table, looking at your painting and trying to execute your idea. 

For some reason though, it was growing frustrating as the paint didn’t seem to move like how you envisioned it would. Youngho seemed to sense your annoyance (though it was quite obvious through your frustrated huffs), turning his gaze away from his own canvas to face you with a hum. 

“What’s wrong?” Youngho asked, already getting up to make his way over to you, peering over at your painting from behind you. 

“I can’t seem to get it to fan out the way I want it to,” you sighed, “my brush isn’t big enough for it.” 

Youngho’s gaze on your painting was intent, seeming to be thinking from his own perspective, shrugging as he turned to you. 

“You’re free to use my hand as your brush,” he offered, his nonchalance making you pause to process his words. 

“Are you sure?” you asked, earning a nod from him. 

“Really, I’m sure,” he reassured, waiting patiently as you dared yourself to grasp his hand with both of yours. 

Youngho almost wanted to laugh, thinking of the time he had let you mull the paint, how you insisted that your strength used to mull the paint was much less than his, yet he had never felt it so strongly till now, in the firm grip with which you grasped his hand. 

An ever present strength in gentleness that he’d come to associate with you. 

You could practically feel the warmth radiating from his body with how close he stood behind you, with how he let his arm rest against yours as you moved it with ease. 

It was almost amusing to you, how when you used his hand to smear the paint, it looked exactly like how you had pictured it in your mind. It made you wonder if all along you’d grown used to observing him, how he paints, that it was natural for your mind to picture how he would make his mark on your creations.

“Perfect,” you murmured, gaze appreciating your painting, trying to ignore the tension within your body that came with being in such close proximity with Youngho.

Turning to face him, your hands still clasped around his palm and wrist, his soft skin a contrast to the sturdiness you felt as you held his hand, his soft features a contrast from the intensity of his gaze when it met yours. 

It seemed your thoughts had a mind of their own, as you let your gaze wander from the hazel of his eyes, to the deep black of his hair, to the dusty pink of his lips. 

Conduct books be damned, none of them warned you about him. 

“For some reason…” you began, your voice barely a murmur as you shifted your gaze back to meet his, watching how his gaze had flickered to your lips briefly, as if trying to catch himself, “no matter how close you are to me…” 

Youngho shook his head slightly, his lips parting to speak, “It never feels close enough.” 

You nodded, unsure what other words could express your heart better in this moment, feeling him lean in, the warmth of his breath tickling your lips, feeling as though it was a ghost of his kiss that was being pressed against your lips. 

You weren’t sure if you were breathing, the only thing on your mind being the little mantra of love you had for him beating in your heart, supplying you with courage, supplying you with even more affection for him. 

Feeling his lips brush against yours ever so slightly, you clutched his hand tighter in your grip, hearing him huff, a smile gracing his features.

“Are you teasing me?” you whispered. 

Youngho shook his head, watching as your eyes had fluttered shut so naturally, as his breath fanned over your cheek, “Not in the slightest bit.” 

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against yours, softly, yet with insistence. Letting go of his hand, you let yourself make use of the courage coursing through your veins, bringing your hands up to cup his face and feeling the slight stubble under your palm, the action making him stumble forward slightly. Youngho’s hand reached out quickly to find purchase on something and ended up on your fan, the traces of colour from your painting now smeared against the once white and spotless accessory. 

You weren’t sure what you were doing, but it felt as though he did, with how he led the kiss, bringing his paint free hand up to touch the small of your back, pulling you gently towards him. 

So, you let yourself follow, follow the way his lips moved against yours, follow his movements that brought you closer to him, follow the way your head tilted up at the touch of his hand. 

You allowed him to spoil you, to fill your mind with only thoughts of him, with the little mantra that would repeat and that you wished to repeat for as long as your heart could feel for someone, for him. 

Youngho. Youngho. Youngho.

You hadn’t realised how much you were leaning into him, with how secure it felt for him to be supporting your weight like this. It didn’t even cross your mind to feel embarrassed at your lack of experience in this area, he never let you feel any of that, not with how he kissed you with such intention as though you were the only one he’d ever loved and would ever love.

It was a strange feeling, solidified by his kiss, to feel desired and even more loved. It wasn’t one or the other that you sensed in the way he’d deepened the kiss, in the way his paint covered hands had grasped your hip to hold you close, because as much as there was desire, there was love you felt in the way he cradled your face, in the way he let you melt into him with the promise that you would be supported. 

In that moment, you knew that regardless of his background, his wealth, his occupation, you were willing to give your heart to him. Only Youngho.  

=== 

A lady like you should have considered this common sense, but you must never confess your feelings until absolutely convinced of a man’s intentions.

Youngho was finding it hard to keep his heart from fluttering as you led him behind the church grounds, your hand grasping his firmly as you walked before him, familiar with the route in a way that only came from experience. 

It was interesting to him, he found, the feeling that stirred within his heart as he looked at your proud smile once the both of you had reached a little pond, its circumference marked out by big stones lined up against one another, and wildflowers decorating the grass. In this case, your actions definitely spoke louder than your words— a girl who couldn’t lie to save her life, willing to take such risks for him, someone only revealed to her as a poor painter. 

He remembered what he told Jaehyun, when the viscount was persuading him to meet the sister of the girl he loved. He remembered telling Jaehyun that he didn’t think love was going to be in the cards for him, but looking at you now, he knew he was wrong. The girl he was looking at, pointing at the little frog that swam past you in the pond and tapping his arm to get his attention, was love in all he had come to discover it to be. 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you drawled, gesturing around you at the empty open field, taking your seat next to the pond with Youngho following suit, the two empty glasses and bottle of wine in his hands clinking gently as he did so. 

“It’s beautiful,” Youngho gushed with extra dramatics, earning a huff of laughter from you, “how did you discover this place?” 

You shrugged, smoothing over your dress as you made yourself comfortable, “I told you, I spent a lot of time wandering around.” 

“Well, it was time well spent, indeed,” he smiled, his nose scrunching as he let the glasses lean against his knee, removing his gloves and setting them aside before getting the bottle open. 

“Where did you say that was from, again?” you asked, ever curious. 

Youngho paused briefly, glancing at the bottle before pouring some into each of the glasses. 

“Italy,” he said, “They import wine here, actually. The wine merchant? Do you recall? The one that was the previous landlord of my studio, he’s the owner of the winery that produces this wine.” 

“Wow,” you huffed, “Wonder why I’ve never seen much of it before.” 

At that, Youngho couldn’t help but laugh, looking at you sceptically, “You speak as though you’re an avid drinker.” 

Embarrassed by his teasing, you scoffed, though the smile on your face lingered, “I suppose I could have come across it in my time at home, you know, snooping around in my father’s study.” 

Youngho nodded, a patronising smile on his face, “Yeah, yeah, I suppose .” 

Removing your gloves, you’d set it next to his on the grass, accepting the glass from him with a small murmur of thanks. 

Sniffing the red liquid, you couldn’t help but glance up at him for some confirmation that it was supposed to smell like this, or what to anticipate its taste to be. 

“Go ahead, try it,” he nodded reassuringly, bringing his own glass to his lips, sipping the wine in a way that made him seem all-too-accustomed to such tasting. 

Taking a sip, you swallowed, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and a mustered smile, earning a bout of laughter from Youngho. 

“I’m guessing it doesn’t suit your tastes?” 

You shook your head in disagreement, “No, no, It’s just… interesting ,” you hummed, taking another sip and seeing his eyebrows lift as you did so, endearment written all over his features. 

“I shall have to get used to it, I suppose.” 

And get used to it, you did. 

It was in this very pursuit of ‘getting used to it’ that you found yourself growing much more unfiltered (or at least, more than usual). 

Your head had started to feel heavy, Youngho offering for you to rest your head on his lap, and you did so gladly, looking up at him and enjoying the feeling of his fingertips tracing your features lazily, as if committing them to memory, wondering if a sculpture would do you justice when it was made by his hands. 

“Your eyes are really pretty in this light,” you murmured. 

It’d been long since you stopped drinking, Youngho taking the liberty to finish your glass for you while you lay your head on his lap. 

Youngho almost sputtered around his drink, setting the glass down onto the grass and turning to look at you with a teasing smile.

“If this is you ‘getting used’ to the wine, I find it hard to have any complaints,” he laughed, “you’re smiling at me more than usual, and that’s saying a lot.” 

You brought your hands up to cover your mouth, though it didn’t do anything to conceal your smile, laughter bubbling out of you as you shook your head. 

“This is unfamiliar to me, but I find I cannot help but smile at you. It’s as though my body is moving in its most honest manner.” 

“It’s honest, that’s for sure,” he reassured, earning a hum from you. 

Reaching a hand out towards one of his hands, the one closest to you in your eyeline, you watched him switch the hand that was holding his wine glass so he could let you have his hand, wondering what exactly you were going to do with it. 

Frankly, you weren’t sure either, bringing his hand close to your face and daring yourself to press a gentle kiss to his palm, the smile that followed making Youngho’s eyebrows lift, his smile mirroring yours. 

You let go of his hand, letting it rest on top of your face and shutting your eyes, though it was amusing to him, the way he could feel the outline of your smile against his palm.

You noticed that Youngho grew more serious after a few drinks, a certain sleepiness taking over his gaze as he looked at nothing in particular. The both of you enjoyed the silence, aside from the sound of nature, the sound of the both of you just existing in that place, it was a peace you couldn’t quite describe. You couldn’t deny that the silence gave room for your thoughts to wander, your excitement for your sister’s return bringing with it all your fears about what would proceed from her return as well. 

“My sister is to return from her honeymoon soon,” you said, “I am sure she and her husband have plans to hold a private ball once they are here.” 

Judging from the absence of a smile from your face now, Youngho hummed, moving his hand just slightly so it rested against the side of your face now, his thumb rubbing soothingly over your cheek, warmth radiating from him to you. 

“You don’t sound very happy about that.” 

You shook your head, “I suppose it’s because I’m not.” 

Glancing up at him, you let one of your hands cover his, touching the skin of his hand in drowsy patterns, with no desire in mind but to feel him. 

“I’m sure their search for a suitable husband for me will only intensify once she returns,” you sighed deeply, eyebrows furrowing as you frowned. 

“Husband,” Youngho echoed, something akin to a mix of a sigh and a groan leaving him. 

“Dear husband ,” you drawled, as though you were calling someone, grimacing as soon as the words left your lips, meeting Youngho’s amused gaze and feeling the smile grace your features again. 

“You know, I never once heard my mother call my father anything other than his name before,” you recalled, shifting slightly where you lay so you could see Youngho better. 

Youngho hummed, nodding, “Me neither. I suppose maybe I was too young to notice. Either that or perhaps they saved the terms of endearment for when they were alone.” 

Your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape in realisation. 

“You’re smart, I never considered that.” 

Youngho could only laugh, his hand smoothing over your hair affectionately, “Do I get a reward, then?” he asked. 

Youngho suddenly leaned over so he was close enough to you that it made you shut your eyes, opening them up again with a huff when you felt him press a kiss to your forehead instead, pulling back with giggles leaving him that made it hard for you to remain annoyed. 

“How cruel of you,” you huffed, earning a dramatic gasp from him. 

“Cruel? What an inappropriate descriptor of me,” he smiled. Perhaps he was right, that smile was anything but cruel. 

“What would you call your wife?” you asked, practically thinking out loud at this point. 

Your question surprised Youngho, but he was always sporting your various trains of thought or rambling, and it was no different this time. 

“That depends… on her personality, how I feel towards her,” he glanced at you as he finished speaking, averting his gaze back to the field as you felt his thumb continue to caress your cheek. 

“So, it would change from person to person?” 

Youngho hummed, “I suppose it would.” 

You were starting to realise the truth behind the phrase ‘liquid courage’, your gaze firm on Youngho with your next words. 

“What if it was me, then? What would you call me?” 

Youngho met your gaze, looking almost pensive for a moment as he felt the peace you described about the church grounds, the peace in his heart that came with your presence, and all the love you brought to him with you. 

“Beloved,” he spoke, again, as though he was calling your name, and as if you were hearing it in the only way you wished to hear it, “I’d call you beloved.” 

“My beloved,” he said with finality. 

In that moment, in that little declaration of who you were to him, it was as though you were being reminded of what you seemed to have forgotten. In being declared his beloved, you were worthy of love, you were loved as you were, regarded dearly even in your fear of not being useful or helpful. 

In short, you felt known. 

It was true, Youngho was not cruel. What was cruel was the reminder that your mother would never approve of him, what was cruel was the fact that once your sister returned, you were going to be thrown into whoever’s arms your family deemed fit. What was cruel was that you knew whoever they were, they weren’t Youngho. 

Your eyebrows furrowed, averting your gaze from his face. 

Youngho was feeling the effect of his words, knowing very well for himself that he was in far too deep now. But even despite this knowledge, he didn’t want to come out. He wanted to bury himself in all that he was feeling, to solidify the fact that when he thought of a wife, only your face came to mind, only you made sense to take that place. 

“Do you think it would have been different…” he glanced at you, searching your pensive gaze, “you know, if we had met under different circumstances.” 

“What circumstances?” you hummed, attentive in a way that made Youngho feel even more certain about his words. 

“As nobility.” 

The seriousness of his tone would’ve made you laugh under any other circumstance, considering it was completely hypothetical. But perhaps it was your pensive mood that made you consider his words more seriously, wishing they were the reality you were in. 

You frowned, shaking your head, “It’s never crossed my mind, but… I’m sure I would’ve been drawn to you the same.” 

Turning to brace a hand on his thigh as you sat up, letting his hand fall back onto his lap as you met his gaze, mirroring his seriousness and sincerity as you spoke the truth of what you felt. 

“I’m sure of it,” you repeated, as if hoping it was getting through to him, “nobility or not… you’re you .” 

Taking his hand in his, you fiddled with his fingers, interlocking your fingers, moving them just enough so you could press the tips of your fingernails against the pads of his fingertips. 

Glancing down at your hand in his, he let out a deep breath, looking back up at your face. 

“Do you mean that?” he asked, needing to hear the confirmation from your own lips. 

You shot him a look, a hint of a smile playing at your lips. 

“You know I’m not a good liar,” you reminded, a certain shyness overcoming you as you struggled to hold his gaze, something about the intensity of the way he was looking at you flustering you to no end. 

Youngho huffed, a hint of amusement in his features that let you know he was about to say something to tease you. 

“And you know I would believe anything you say to me when you say it like that.” 

You sighed, daring yourself to bring one of his hands up to your face, letting yourself lean into the warmth of his palm. 

“Youngho,” you began, and Youngho was sure just in how you said his name, there was all the sincerity he searched for, all the vulnerability of yourself that you were showing to him. 

“To be a lady and for me to be like this with you... I need you to understand what this means for me… I need you to understand all that I am risking, and know that I find it worth risking for you.” 

As the words left you, you felt unbearably exposed under his gaze, Youngho’s silence making you want to reassure him, your hand that covered his on your face rubbing the back of his hand gently. 

"Do you believe me?" you murmured. 

Youngho didn’t know what to do with all the love he was feeling, so he did what felt natural to him. 

He let his hand pull away from your face, pulling you close to him so he could wrap his arms around you, cradling your head in his hand, letting out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. 

“I believe you.”

In his arms, you felt the protection around your vulnerability, the intangible desire in your heart manifesting in the way you felt a sigh leave you, leaning into his embrace. 

=== 

And importantly, a lady like you should have a sacred regard to truth, for lying is a mean and despicable vice. 

Padding down the stairs on another morning, a few days after the night in the field with Youngho, you were going about what became your new routine, heading to the kitchen, ready to retrieve your share (and Youngho’s) of honey biscuits from your lady’s maid before you would head off to his studio. 

Except, today was different. 

You should have known something was off from the sympathetic looks you were getting from the staff since you came out of your room, not thinking much of it until you found your lady’s maid in the drawing room, seeing her slip a little pamphlet in your hands with an urgency that unsettled you, your gaze barely landing on the title before you heard your mother’s voice. 

“You,” your head snapped around at the sound of her tone, knowing almost instantly that the sinking feeling in your gut was not unfounded, “I believe we need to have a talk.”

Your gaze landed on your father who stood behind her, stoic and almost apathetic-looking as he simply stood there. 

With how angry your mother  seemed, you were surprised she was even talking to you at all. But as for your father? You felt it was worse, to be constantly searching for his gaze and not being met with it, as he fixed his gaze elsewhere. Following your parents up the stairs, your heart began to pound harshly as they entered your room, feeling as though its pounding stopped entirely when you saw your painting lying on the floor. 

“Is it true?” she asked, earning a frown from you. 

You glanced at your father, who had taken his place behind her, simply looking blankly at the floor. 

You frowned, “Is what true?” you dared to ask, watching warily as her jaw clenched. 

“It aggravates me how you still have the ability to act nonchalant,” she bent over, grabbing the painting so harshly that it made you grimace, “have you been acquainting yourself indecently with that painter ?” 

The way she spoke of his occupation was as though it was a crime, but that wasn’t your concern at this moment. You wondered how she knew, or how you should react, but like you said, you were never a good liar. Your expression alone was enough to give it away. 

“I want you to stop this immediately. You will not ruin your prospects, your reputation, your virtue, for a man who is not worth considering,” there was spite in her tone, the way she spoke about Youngho unnerving you. Though it all still didn’t answer your question of how she came to know about him. 

Your lips parted only to close again, unable to find the words you wished to express to her. 

“He is a good man,” was all you could muster, the scoff you received in return making you cower, feeling warm tears prick at your eyes. 

“Anyone can be a ‘good man’ ,” she told you, “being a ‘good man’ does not provide you financial security. Being a ‘good man ’ does not guarantee you a house. Being a ‘good man’ does not excuse recklessness.” 

You half expected your father to step in, to tell her to go easy on you. Or to try to soothe her temper so her words would become less cutting. But none of that came, even as you looked desperately at him for some signal that he would step in to help you, you continued to be met with the image of your father looking as though he had better things to be done elsewhere, dissociated from whatever was happening. 

You weren’t sure what hurt you more, the feeling of helplessness that overwhelmed you or the fear that it was only a prelude for what was to come. It felt as though you were being made to choose between disappointing your family or losing and disappointing the man you loved. Neither of which you wanted, but you knew you weren’t going to have much of a choice. 

“I forbid you from seeing that man again. You will not leave this house if it is not for an event,” your mother spoke, tossing your painting onto the floor and leaving without another word, your father following silently behind her. 

You didn’t realise you were crying until you felt your tears touch your lips, bringing your hand up to wipe your tears away and realising then that you were still holding the pamphlet your lady’s maid gave you. 

Bypassing the mocking title, you continued to read. 

It should have been obvious to you when you read your initial next to ‘Lady’, reading on in spite of yourself. 

‘... seen with a local painter in a position that shall not be described… Considering her sister’s success in marriage that elevated her to a viscountess, it must come as a shock to anyone for her to have looked much lower for her own marriage partner… a fling like this is surely only good for temporary excitement…’ 

You stopped reading, setting the pamphlet aside and burying your face into your mattress. 

How you missed your sister in a time like this, though you had no idea how you were going to explain this to her when she returned. 

You would soon find that your mother would do all the explaining for you, filling your sister in on all the details she’d procured from the scandal sheet while you were simply too upset to do any explaining for yourself. Frankly, the only thought on your mind was that you hoped Youngho wasn’t worried, since it had been weeks since you had stopped visiting his studio. 

Your sister’s husband, the viscount Jung Jaehyun, wasn’t helping either, insisting that he had a friend of his that he felt would be a suitable marriage partner for you. Your sister seemed to agree, casting sympathetic looks your way whenever the topic of marriage came up, but insisting in her own gentle way that perhaps it would be for the best to move forward. 

It was difficult to hear about how much property he had as the owner of a winery, his wealth or even his penchant for the arts because the only thing on your mind was the man with little to his name, sitting in his studio waiting for you to arrive. 

There was nothing left for you to do, not with how your mother wouldn’t speak to you or acknowledge you directly, not with how your father seemed to want to pretend nothing had ever happened to begin with, not with how you weren’t allowed to leave the house if it was not for social events now. It seemed the choice you were being handed on a platter was to be a good daughter, the product of all the conduct books you read; as helpless as it made you feel. 

===

You figured this was a rule you should have regarded more seriously, but a lady like you should remember that infallibility is not the property of man, or you may entail disappointment on yourself, by expecting what is never to be found.

Perhaps the higher power that was watching over you decided that things weren’t quite over yet.  

Because as you stood in the makeshift ballroom of your sister and her husband’s new house, the drawing room they had converted into a ballroom space for dancing and hosting, you couldn’t deny the way your stomach churned with anxiety at her husband’s excitement, insisting that his friend was to arrive soon. 

You were sure you’d tuned out the noise at one point, finding it hard to ignore the way you were feeling giddy (and not in a very good way), wanting nothing more but to be at home away from any potential suitors that weren’t Youngho. So, it was safe to say you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you when you saw the man walking in with the viscount. 

Dressed in clothes that looked even more elaborate and expensive than those you saw on Taeyong at the races, or even those the viscount adorned now, walking with the same air of calm confidence that you’d practically memorised by now. 

The same black hair, hazel eyes, dusty pink lips that grew clearer to you the closer they came to where you stood with your sister. 

None of it made sense, he shouldn’t even have been able to be here. 

You weren’t sure you were breathing, face to face with the very man that hadn’t left your mind for what seemed like forever. Your little mantra of love began to repeat in your head, as though it were natural for your heart to respond in such a way, desperate to let him know that his presence was felt. 

Youngho. Youngho. Youngho. 

You barely noticed how Jaehyun had introduced him, drawn back to the present moment with your sister’s voice ringing in your ears. 

“It is rather relieving to finally be able to put a face to the faceless Marquess,” she huffed in amusement, “it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lord Suh.” 

Marquess? 

You frowned, eyebrows furrowed and your gaze firmly fixed on Youngho’s. The marquess they had told you about for the past week, who had recently inherited all the property of his father who had passed, property including a winery. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you what an arduous task it was to get Johnny to agree to attend today’s ball,” Jaehyun laughed, making your frown deepen, your sister being able to sense that this was more than just a displeasure that you felt towards the Marquess. 

Youngho’s gaze was apologetic, which had only served to upset you even more. You were trying to process all that was happening, but couldn’t shake the mixed emotions you were feeling all at once. 

Turning to you, your sister nudged you lightly, “Is something wrong?” 

You managed to tear your gaze away from Youngho, turning to your sister and taking in a deep breath, though it didn’t feel like you were breathing at all, the air not seeming to satisfy your lungs and making you feel as though you had to try again. 

“I need to get some air.” 

You started walking, but you weren’t sure where exactly your destination was. All you knew was that you were hyper aware of the fact that Youngho was following you and you didn’t want to be caught with him alone outside the building, not wanting your mother to be even more upset at you. 

It would’ve been amusing if the situation was different, feeling as though you were playing a game of cat and mouse as you tried to out-walk him in the confines of the drawing room. Youngho’s strides were always much bigger than yours, though, so you should have known that it was only a matter of time before he would have caught up with you.

“May I have the honour of a dance with you, Miss Y/N,” he spoke firmly, loud enough that the lady next to you had turned to you with an expectant look, wondering why you were taking so long to respond to him. 

It was unfortunate, how in a situation like this, you couldn’t exactly go against the etiquette rules you loved to flout. You knew that for as long as you were in this room, you had to acknowledge the truth that as long as you were not spoken for, you had no choice but to accept his offer to dance. 

You settled for a small nod, keeping your gaze low as you accepted his hand and let him lead you to where the other guests were dancing. You barely had time to adjust before you had to react quickly to the song, following the choreography with ease and perhaps even being slightly annoyed that Youngho was even better at it than you were. 

“Please say something,” he pleaded, making you shake your head, still keeping your gaze on anything but his face, not knowing what your heart would make you do if you were to meet his attentive gaze in this space. 

“No,” you muttered, “I’ve been too rude to a marquess all this time.” 

Youngho was barely able to stop himself. 

“Y/N, please.” 

Your head snapped up at the sound of your name, tears welling up in your eyes as Youngho’s expression softened. You felt his grip on you tighten, steadying you, the same unspoken promise that you were supported even when you felt like your body would give at any moment. 

It didn’t make sense to you in your head. 

Someone like Youngho, who never underestimated you, who was always attentive to you, who read you like an open book and never held it against you. You didn’t think he would ever treat you like how your family did, hiding things from you, viewing you as a little child who was incapable of handling grown-up matters, confining her to her childish duties of pleasing others and arranging flowers. It was an awful feeling that came with the thought that Youngho, of all people, would ever subject you to such humiliation. 

“Why did you lie?” you frowned, swallowing thickly though it did nothing to the lump you felt in your throat, “did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle it? Did you find some kind of pleasure in making me a fool?” 

You scoffed, blinking harshly, “As if I haven’t had more than my fair share of that Young— Your Lordship .” 

Youngho frowned, “Why are you calling me that?” 

You sighed deeply, feeling breathless from both the choreography and your sheer emotion. 

“Is it not your title?” 

Youngho shook his head, more out of dismissal than denial, “What happened to ‘even if we met as nobility’? Did that mean nothing to you?” 

Your lips parted, offence in your gaze as you scoffed. 

“I’m upset, but do not think for even a second that I did not mean every word I said to you,” you told him, a firmness to your tone that made Youngho regret his words, “unfortunately, I cannot say the same for you.” 

Youngho paused, a tense silence falling between the both of you that contrasted the cheerful music echoing around the room. 

“It was not personal,” he murmured. 

You frowned, still unable to place what you were feeling, unsure how to convey it to him in a way that would allow him to understand why you were reacting this way. 

“It is always personal. How could you…” you averted your gaze, shaking your head, “how could you compromise me—”

“ Compromise you?” his tone was incredulous, eyes widening in shock, “I kissed you.” 

Clenching your jaw, you huffed, “Forgive me, truly, for finding it hard to see things for what they are. Forgive me for allowing myself to expect .” 

Your words made Youngho recall your meeting at the races, perhaps some things were best enjoyed without too many expectations . He begged to differ, though, he just wasn’t sure how to let you know that he was ready to give to you whatever you asked for, whatever you were expecting from him. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, frustrated at the environment the both of you were in, at the lack of privacy he felt here, at the way it prevented him from showing you and telling you all that he truly wished to, having to settle for pathetic apologies and pointed looks. 

You let out a sigh, “Just answer me one question.” 

Youngho nodded quickly, humming to prompt you to continue. 

“Were you ever planning on telling me the truth?” you asked, training your gaze up to meet his once again and trying to distract yourself from the way your heart still swelled with love for the one you gazed upon. 

“The day after that night at the church. I was going to tell you then,” he answered, sincerity in his tone, in the way he looked at you, in the way he held you. 

The day the scandal sheet was released.

You nodded, hearing the music come to an end as you let him go, feeling his hands slip from you reluctantly. 

Turning your head, you met your mother’s gaze. 

Youngho noticed the way you had tensed up and increased the distance between yourself and him, returning to the daughter raised by conduct books that your mother was pleased with. The ‘respectable lady’ that would continue to fight her urge to yearn for her love’s touch and search for his gaze in the crowd for the rest of the night. 

=== 

When considering marriage, a lady like you needed to make sure that arrangements offered equitable compensation as it were, for all involved and no one, including the extended families, was being shorted in the exchange.

“How was the ball? Surely it wasn’t so bad after all, wasn’t it?” Jaehyun asked, earning a sigh from Johnny. 

“No, it was the most horrendous torture ever imaginable,” he deadpanned, finding it hard to focus on the boxing match that was happening in front of him, wondering why Jaehyun decided to bring him here of all places. But he figured he wouldn’t have minded being her under any other circumstance. 

Wincing at the fighter who had taken a particularly bad hit, Jaehyun folded his arms across his chest, “Shame, though, I thought you and Miss Y/N would’ve gotten along particularly well.” 

Johnny frowned, “What makes you say that?” 

Jaehyun shrugged, his gaze still following the fight, “You know, I heard from her sister that she was involved with another man… a painter, if I recall correctly. And her mother didn’t seem to approve because of his status or something along that line…” he trailed off distractedly, earning an expectant hum from Johnny. 

“And?” he prompted, impatient now to know what was said about his and your relationship. 

“Oh, right. Yes, so we figured that it would be better to present her with some other options, you know? We thought introducing her to you would help her move on from it, but she’s been off ever since the day of the ball. Her sister says she’s never seen her like that before, going from being so insistent to so… emotionally detached from it all.” 

Johnny hummed, something in him feeling as though he needed to prepare himself to receive a piece of bad news, judging from the way Jaehyun sighed. 

“But I suppose her mother has worn her out,” Jaehyun sighed, “she’s been recommending another man to Miss Y/N, one she claims is more reasonable… you know, dowry-wise and all.” 

Johnny frowned, “Didn���t anyone try to dissuade her?” 

Jaehyun frowned, “I suppose that’s the thing, she hasn’t protested to it herself… my suspicion is that she’s afraid of disappointing her mother.” 

For some reason, Johnny couldn’t wrap his head around it, “And did you try to say anything?” 

Jaehyun shot Johnny a knowing look, “Believe me, I’ve tried. Miss Y/N was the one that told me it was alright.” 

“She did?” Johnny frowned, earning a huff from Jaehyun. 

“Do you see that man over there, standing by the table?” Jaehyun nudged Johnny, gesturing to the direction of the table with a nod of his head, Johnny’s gaze landing on a man who looked twice your age, counting money from bets he’d won in his hands. 

“That’s the man who is courting her,” Jaehyun told him pointedly, observing Johnny’s reaction carefully as the latter’s gaze stayed fixated on the man, a slight furrow to his eyebrows as he watched him.

Jaehyun continued, “His status is similar to theirs, so it does not require much of a dowry, which I suppose is what her mother’s so agreeable about. But… I think you can understand what I mean when I say I cannot seem to warm up to him.” 

Johnny watched the way the man’s gaze had followed a woman who had walked past him to get to her seat in the spectators stand, something about the way he looked at her unnerving Johnny, growing uncomfortable at the thought of the man looking at you in such a predatory manner. 

“And she has no complaints? About him courting her?” Johnny asked, still staring down the man as though he were trying to burn holes into the man. 

Jaehyun was growing frustrated, wondering how long Johnny was going to deflect the issue at hand with his questions. 

“Don’t you think you would be better off asking her yourself?” 

Johnny tore his gaze away from the man, staring blankly at Jaehyun with his lips parted slightly.

“My time away did not make me a fool, Johnny. It was obvious the moment I saw how you reacted to each other at the ball,” Jaehyun rolled his eyes, “do you suppose there were any other painters in town named Youngho that didn’t work in their own homes?” 

Johnny was at a loss for words, starting to understand why Jaehyun decided to bring him to a random boxing match at mid-day. 

“How long more are you going to spend sitting here and pretending you’re okay with it?” Jaehyun hummed, “you helped me before, and honestly, I’d be more frustrated with myself if I let you carry on like this.” 

Johnny’s gaze shifted to the fighters, then to the man, then back to Jaehyun, unsure what his course of action was going to be but knowing that he wanted nothing more than to go to you now. 

“Her parents are here. I suggest you go now, I can buy you some time,” Jaehyun told him smoothly, and Johnny wondered if this was how he must have looked before when he was aiding Jaehyun with his own love troubles. 

But there was no time for him to dwell on that now, already getting up and leaving as fast as he could to the address Jaehyun had told him. 

“Miss Y/N, you have a caller,” your butler informed you as you were in the middle of playing a piano piece in your drawing room, stopping yourself in embarrassment when you realised it was the piece Youngho told you was his favourite.

Though you weren’t exactly sure why you were embarrassed, it wasn’t as if your butler knew that. 

“Who is it?” 

“Lord Suh, Miss,” your eyes widened as the words left him, standing up from the piano and adjusting your dress, your hand coming up to your face, making sure there was no sleep in your eyes as you nodded at your butler. 

“Okay, you can send him in. Thank you.”

You weren’t sure what you were expecting when Youngho entered, though the scene had come to mind many times before. 

You imagined him coming into the room with a dramatic profession of apologies, and another scenario where you imagined him to come to you with a sombre expression on his face, pleading with you to forgive him. You would be lying if you said you didn’t even imagine him simply coming to the room and kissing you, but of course, that was a little far fetched. 

What you surely didn’t anticipate was for Youngho to enter the room, a determined look on his face as he met your gaze, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“Are you thinking?” he asked. 

Taken aback by his words, you tilted your head at him, confusion written all over your features. This definitely was not something you anticipated in your daydreams.  

“What’s there for me to think so urgently about?” you asked, watching as Youngho brought a hand up to press it against his forehead, letting his hand drop to his side. 

Shaking his head, he pressed his tongue in his cheek, a small huff leaving him, “Do you really want to wed that man? You cannot possibly be in love with him, you barely know him!”

His tone was insistent, bordering on desperate, a contrast to your still solemn expression, something you were falling back on in the hope that you would not start crying. 

“My mother knows him well enough.” 

Youngho sighed, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, and you struggled not to let your gaze linger too long on his lips, shifting your gaze to look out of the window. 

“It is your marriage, Y/N. Not your mother’s, nor your family’s,” he spoke, softer now, but with all the same insistence as before. 

“Is it really?” you frowned, “aren’t all marriages these days purely business? When you marry someone, you’re marrying their family as well—weren’t you all too aware of this? Surely, this was why you chose not to tell me you were a marquess, was it not?” 

Youngho frowned. 

“That was not why I did not tell you. It was never about business to begin with,” he shook his head, pained to see your hurt being expressed in such a way, yet still unsure about how to voice out his thoughts. 

“You may take me for a fool, Youngho, but I know for a fact that you are anything but,” you folded your arms across your chest, breathing in deeply though it didn’t seem to satisfy you again, breathlessness creeping up on you, “what makes you think I am any different? How can you be so sure that I will marry this man for love?” 

Youngho’s expression turned even more serious at your words, holding a certain confidence to it that intimidated you, knowing you could never hide from him as much as you were attempting to do so now through your words. 

“I don’t believe you’d marry without it,” he spoke firmly, more as a statement, a fact. 

It made your mind go blank, knowing he was right. 

You shook your head slowly, your gaze hardening in an attempt to remain firm, “Whether you believe me or not, that does not change the fact that he has made his intentions clear. He is offering money and stability. My family can afford the dowry. I am in no position to refuse.” 

Perhaps you would be able to if he did something, you wanted to add. But somehow in that moment, you were afraid. The past few weeks have been a reminder to you of the helplessness you feared, the kind where you were unsupported, left to flail around for yourself not knowing what you were doing. 

This hardening of your gaze, of your words, of your heart, they were your last-ditch attempt at protecting yourself from that feeling of helplessness you were starting to grow familiar with in the past few weeks. You did not want to grow familiar with it, not for the rest of your life. 

“That man does not deserve you,” Youngho frowned, the way he looked at you with such sincerity making you avert your gaze, his attentiveness becoming too much, as if he was unlocking the part of you that yearned, telling you the things you needed to be reminded of. 

“I did not choose him based on how much he deserves me,” you muttered. 

“That’s because it wasn’t you choosing him at all,” Youngho shot back just as quickly, making you sigh. 

“I know,” you murmured, your voice barely above a murmur as you felt your body yelling at you, telling you to take deeper breaths even though with each breath you took, it didn’t feel like enough.

You were starting to feel like the room was growing suffocating, frustration and longing and everything in between overwhelming you, “I do not have a choice—” 

“No, but you do,” he insisted, “you do have a choice. You can reject him and no one would blame you.” 

Your words were coming out faster than you could process now, only being able to focus on the boy in front of you and the way your heart felt like it was aching for that protection, that assurance, that Youngho allowed you to know. 

“And then what? Disappoint my family by saying no to the one thing they let me do?” you huffed, exasperated, “lose my parents’ trust because I wasn’t honest with them for once in my life?” 

Youngho sighed deeply, “What about love—” 

“And what about honesty?” You said, trying to breathe deeply but the ache in your chest made it difficult to, your fists clenching around your clothes as if trying to lessen the way it felt like you were being crushed. 

“Is that what you are ready to settle for, then?” Youngho’s tone was disbelieving, as if baffled that you were willing to sacrifice your needs and wants so easily, “mindless flattery from a man who is only honest about the fact that he sees you as a prize to be won?” 

Youngho regretted his words the moment they left him, seeing how you were leaning on the piano for balance, shaky breaths leaving you as your eyes welled up with tears once again. 

“I know!” You blurted, “... I know,” your hand came up to wipe your tears harshly, the other hand still gripping tightly onto your clothes, “It is not flattering to be desired… whilst not being loved.” 

Youngho couldn’t help himself now, moving without hesitation as he rushed over to where you were, his hands coming to grip your shoulders, letting you lean on him as he pulled you into his arms, your hands letting go of your dress weakly and falling to your sides as you let yourself remember what it felt like to be enveloped in this protection, in this support. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his hand coming up to rub your back soothingly, his hold unwavering as he waited for you to calm down. 

“Why are you doing this to me, Youngho?” Your voice was muffled through his clothing, your tears falling freely now as you cried, his hands still comforting you as he sighed. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, “I’m sorry for upsetting you, I didn’t mean to.” 

You frowned, daring yourself to pull away from where your head rested against his chest, looking up to meet his gaze, still wrapped in the security of his arms. 

“I’m upset… yet I don’t quite think that’s the word I’m looking for. I’m… at a loss,” you told him, seeing him press his lips into a firm line as he nodded at you slowly, prompting you to continue. 

“Having to listen to you tell me not to marry a man we both know I have no true desire to marry, that I have no affection for… it’s… Here I am, feeling chained to my guilt as a daughter yet not being able to find any part of me that is truly satisfied in making up for my guilt in this way, or fulfilling my ‘duty’ as a daughter through this obedience.” 

You swallowed, averting your gaze to glance at Youngho’s collar before bringing your gaze back up to meet his eyes, the same hazel glow in them that made you feel as though he were the sun and you were simply a sunflower, gravitating towards him. 

Youngho guided you over to the sofa near the piano, letting you sit down, one of his hands still placed protectively over your hand, something you very much appreciated, serving to ground you almost.

“I… I didn’t know what to think, you just stopped showing up and I hadn’t heard from you, I was… I was worried. And to suddenly hear that you were being courted by this man, I just couldn’t help myself,” Youngho admitted, though there wasn’t a trace of regret in his tone that he was here. He didn’t regret this. 

You sighed, the memory feeling almost fresh in your mind as you recalled it. 

“My mother wouldn’t speak to me for weeks after she found my painting, after she read what they said in the scandal sheet. Do you think I like having to be in this position? To desire to be loved by the both of you but to feel as though the two are mutually exclusive.” 

At that moment, it felt as though you were laying your heart bare to Youngho, feeling as though you were the man in the painting you saw in the church, stepping out of the safety of your boat into the raging waters because you saw the one you loved, because you heard them call you to step out, and so you did. Willing yourself to be vulnerable for this love you felt for Youngho. 

“I was upset because… well, how can you even think of asking me if this is what I want? How can you think that for a second I would want to trade you in for a man who cannot possibly compare to you?” you frowned, bewildered that he could ever think such a thing. 

“How could you think for a second that I would want to settle for that man’s corrupt desire?” you murmured, searching his gaze that you saw was growing more insistent. 

“Well, then, what if you had both? What if you had someone who both desired and loved you with their entire being?” 

You shot him a pointed look. 

You knew Youngho was one that enjoyed speaking hypothetically about things, but you didn’t think now was exactly a perfect time to be doing so. 

Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you huffed, “Youngho, discussing hypotheticals is not going to make this situation any less real.” 

How could you explain this to him? It didn’t matter if it was someone who desired and loved you, you were only wishing that someone would be him. 

Youngho shook his head, eyes wide as if he were sounding out a new idea to you for his art piece, making your eyebrows lift in curiosity. 

“I know, but what if you already had someone who loved you? What if they were in front of you right now. Would that change your mind about proceeding with that man?” 

You frowned, “Youngho, would you just speak plainly with me? What is it that you are trying to say?” 

Youngho’s lips parted, huffing in amusement in spite of himself, gathering up the rest of his heart to present it to you. 

“I don’t know how much plainer I can get than…”

Youngho’s eyebrows lifted slightly, an almost pleading look to his gaze as you felt his hand squeeze yours gently. 

“Y/N, do you not see that I love you deeply?” 

There it was, the grip that caught you before you could sink into the raging waters, the security and safety that enveloped your vulnerability. 

Perhaps the question you were meant to ponder all this while wasn’t really ‘how willing were you to be vulnerable?’, but ‘how safe did you feel to be vulnerable?’. 

The answer was simple to you now as you looked at him. 

Simple, but far from simplistic. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” you told him, watching how his expression softened, his hand over yours grasping onto you tighter. 

“If it’s the money your mother is worried about… I don’t care about a dowry,” he blurted, thinking off the top of his head, the sudden mention of a dowry making you laugh at the absurdity of it. 

“I know you don’t, you never had to,” you scoffed, still recovering from your amusement that he would think you cared about such a thing. 

Youngho’s eyebrows lifted slightly in question, more curious than challenging. 

“Does that fact upset you?” 

You hummed, bringing one of your hands to cover his, running your thumb over the skin of his knuckles in a way that made Youngho melt. 

“How do I explain this to you, Youngho?... You don’t care about a dowry? Quite frankly, neither do I,” you let out an amused huff, “I find myself unable to care about anything other than the fact that it was your hands, your eyes, your heart… that it was you who… let me know what it feels like to be immortalised.”

“It has ruined any chance of me considering anyone else, because if I am to be immortalised, if I am to be conveyed into art, if I am to be vulnerable, if I am to be held... I want it to happen by your hands,” your tone was firm, all the love that swelled in your heart finally making its way out of you and trying to reach his, “your hands and no one else’s, Youngho.” 

“Even now with the knowledge that you are a marquess, that fact has no weight on my decision to love you because I did not fall in love with a marquess . I fell in love with you, your soul. " 

Youngho didn’t think he was breathing. All he could focus on was your voice that rang in his head, sweeter than any melody you played on the piano, sweeter than any sound he had heard, laced with love and painting vivid colours on his heart. 

“I only ever have the privilege of one answer for the suitors I’m presented with… but it was an answer I was only ever willing, or hoping , to offer to you,” a hint of a smile played at your lips, “so, forgive me, for not caring about the dowry either.” 

Youngho’s lips parted, not finding himself thinking about his words carefully, simply letting his heart go before him in his words, his own love desperate to make its way into your heart and make a home there. 

“I brought something for you,” he began, using his free hand (simply because he did not want to let go of your hand) to reach into his coat, pulling out the leatherbound sketchbook you recognised from before. 

“Remember how I told you it was never about business to begin with?” he spoke, earning a nod from you, his fingers absently toying with the string of the worn sketchbook. 

“It’s because… I’ve seen how fickle people are. How they change the moment they find out you are of a certain status or possess certain wealth. It made me cynical for a long time,” this time, you couldn’t find it in you to look away, his gaze that was searching yours was far too beautiful to miss, “I didn’t trust people’s intentions because most of the time they really were only interested in my money or my family.” 

You nodded, prompting him to continue. 

“It’s why I never liked doing portraits,” he admitted, “they always felt cold . It was… overwhelming to me; the idea of immortalising a creature so fickle, so tainted by power and money. You could never really see the person for who they were, only the things they wanted to show off.” 

“So,” he let out a deep sigh, “I told myself that if I ever met someone who could see me as just a poor painter, with little to nothing to his name. Just me, with nothing but myself to show off, and love me in spite of that… then I’d consider. I know it doesn’t change the fact that I lied to you, but… I can’t say I regret it because you proved me wrong.” 

You felt your heart ache, wishing you could express to him just how much love you had for him, how much love he had been missing out on all this while. You wished to hold him in it for as long as you could. 

“You were the first,” he murmured, “to truly see me.” 

He pushed the sketchbook towards you, lifting your hand slightly to let it rest on the leather. 

You recalled his words, how showing you his sketchbook would be him baring his heart to you, and somehow the thought made a wave of emotion wash through you. This was his way of stepping out of the boat, rushing to you after your heart called out to him, willing himself to be vulnerable for love. 

“This,” he gestured to the sketchbook, and perhaps implied much more, “is yours now.”

Letting out a deep breath, this time his confidence showing in the firmness of his tone, the surety of his gaze, “I’ve come to realise that… it was always yours.”   

Letting go of your hands slowly, with all the reluctance in his being, he stood up, nodding resolutely more for himself than for you. 

“I should be taking my leave now… I… hope I’ve made my intentions clear.” 

And you let him leave without another word, watching as his figure disappeared out of your door, past the sunflowers in your garden that looked as though they too were reluctant for him to leave. 

Directing your gaze back to his sketchbook, you fiddled with the string, almost hesitant to open it out of a sheer want to treat it delicately. 

His sketchbook, his art, his heart that he declared was yours now, that was always yours. You saw it clearly once you undid the little knot that kept it closed. 

You saw it in the drawing of your hands on the piano keys, in the drawing of the view of your back as you walked away from him at the flower market, sunflowers peeking over your shoulder to look at him, in the drawing of your hands clasped in front of your dress holding the bundle of cloth wrapped around the honey biscuits. 

You continued to flip the pages. 

The image of your side view, playing the piano in his studio, the image of you tending to the flowers that he gave you, the view of you mulling the paint from where he sat on his stool. The view of you holding his sketches above your head as you decorated his studio. 

It was as though you were seeing yourself from his perspective, ridden with a certain affection and yearning that felt so intimate to be looking at in such a way, knowing it was his hands that had conveyed you into this… permanence. It was sureness found even in the strokes of graphite against paper. 

You dared yourself to continue to flip the pages. 

You noticed that there were even more drawings now, multiple drawings of the same memory, as if you were watching the moment happen before your eyes again. 

An image of your stocking halfway up your calf, your hands grasping it firmly by the hem. Another image of your hands around the delicate pink silk ribbon garter, in the middle of untying the garter. An image of your leg with the little sunflower on your ankle, another image of just that same sunflower alone. 

An image of you in the field with him that night, the mouth of the wine glass touching delicately against your lips, an image of the little smile you mustered after tasting the wine. An image of the smile that hardly left your face that night as you looked at him. Next to the image of your smile, a drawing of tulips. An image of his view of you as you lay your head on his lap, looking up at him, almost embarrassing you as you saw how much affection you could detect in your gaze even then. 

An image of your hand clasped around his, almost being able to remember the feel of his fingertips under your nails as you pressed them gently against his skin. An image of your eyes shut, lips gently parted, wildflowers peeking out from the grass next to your shoulders and his thigh as you waited for the feel of his lips against yours. 

The detail of your features in watercolour as you flipped the pages almost made you feel as though you were looking at a mirror. There was nothing cold about what you were looking at, but instead all the warmth that came with your soul and his, reflected on the paper. 

The whole sketchbook was filled with you, and in it, him as well. All the love he had for you in every line, in every shade, even in the pressure of his pencil against paper, in the colours that made his sketches come alive. This was his heart, for your eyes only. 

In short, you felt loved. 

Perhaps, this was it. The intangible thing you sought, love, made tangible in Youngho. 

=== 

Dancing was tricky business, as you knew. And a rule that you couldn’t help but call to mind now was that if a lady like you were to dance more than twice with the same man in the same night, or furthermore refuse to dance with any but him, you were basically announcing to the world that the both of you were engaged.

It was all that rang through your head as you stood with your sister as the viscount had just returned with drinks for the both of you, slipping off your gloves to accept the drink as you trained your gaze on where your mother was a little far off from you, seeming to be in an intense conversation with Youngho. 

“What do you suppose they’re talking about?” you whispered harshly to your sister, anxious as you watched from afar. 

Her laugh caught you off guard, turning to her with wide-eyes. 

“What else do you think they could be talking about? You don’t suppose they would be engaging in such a fervent conversation about paintings, do you?” her tone was sarcastic, laced with amusement as you frowned, huffing. 

Sure, as you watched Youngho, he looked relaxed, radiating the same calm confidence as he spoke to your mother, even smiling while your mother’s expression remained almost surprised. 

You figured that was a good sign, right? As opposed to if her expression was sour. 

“I’m trying to read his lips,” Jaehyun murmured, “but I’m absolutely certain he just said ‘you have nothing to worry about’.” 

Your eyebrows lifted. Of course it would be Youngho, saying that to your mother of all people. That was almost as good as pointing at a table and demanding for it to get up and walk.

Your mind was absolutely racing as you saw her nod, already making her way towards you, with Youngho following a few paces behind her. 

Reaching you, you exchanged a look with your sister before turning your gaze towards your mother. Jaehyun stood beside her, looking on with evident amusement at the scene playing out before him. 

Letting out a tired sigh, she lowered her voice to a murmur. 

“I do not know what it is about you that has seemed to have caught his eye,” she looked as though she were in disbelief, “But the young man was so insistent on getting my approval for him to pursue a marriage with you. Judging by his demeanour, his background, I find no complaints.” 

Your eyebrows lifted slightly in surprise, glancing at Youngho who stood behind her with a certain sense of pride that glowed within you. A pride that came with knowing that this was who he was— insistent, charming, sincere— and that did not change with his social status. 

“He insists that he has already asked for your permission, is that correct?” 

You tore your gaze away from Youngho, meeting your mother’s gaze with a firmness unlike Youngho has ever seen you show your mother, his own little pride glowing in his heart as he watched you. 

“He has,” you told her, “and I have granted it to him.”

Your mother’s eyes widened just briefly, surprised at your tone, yet feeling as though she should have seen it coming at the same time. 

She simply let out a breath through her nose, nodding. 

“Then I expect you to see this through,” she told you, as though it were an instruction, “for a man with his status to be looking so favourably upon you, it is a miracle , if anything. Do not ruin this opportunity.” 

You couldn’t help the smile that played at your lips, amused at the way your mother had no idea who Youngho was, and that she would continue to have no idea that he was the same Youngho she was forbidding you to see just weeks before. And you intended for it to stay that way, yours and Youngho’s little secret. 

“Oh, don’t worry, mother. I definitely won’t.” 

Turning to give him a sweet smile, Youngho felt his heart jump in his chest as he extended a hand towards you, asking you for a dance with such politeness that it almost made you laugh. 

Following him onto the dance floor, you assumed your positions so naturally that it was a given that anyone who looked in from the outside would be able to tell that the two of you were well-acquainted.

And as you started to dance, somehow, it felt like Youngho was the only one you could focus on in the room. 

Youngho. Youngho. Youngho.

Your little mantra of love began to echo once again with each beat of your heart, begging to reach his heart that you almost didn’t notice yourself saying his name. 

Youngho smiled, a certain knowingness to his playful gaze. 

“Yes, my beloved?” 

Your lips parted, poorly hiding the way the words had sent warmth all through your body, the feeling of his hand pressing against yours as you waltzed, the intimacy of the choreography and the way he was looking at you making your head spin. 

“Beloved?” you echoed, implication behind the word making you lean into him unconsciously, burying yourself in the security you felt in his hold. 

Youngho let out an amused huff that turned into a giggle that bubbled out of him, “You sound surprised. It is no secret that I love you, Y/N.” 

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“My head is spinning,” you admitted, earning a dramatic gasp from him, giving you a playful sheepish look. 

“Sorry, perhaps I dressed too nicely today,” he drawled, the teasing lilt of his tone making your smile grow. 

“Are you teasing me?” you scoffed, your smile removing any possible trace of menace. 

Youngho pressed his lips together, the softest of smiles on his face. 

“Not in the slightest bit.” 

Feigning a glare at him, it didn’t last long the longer you held his gaze, the both of you poorly stifling your joy as little giggles threatened to escape you. 

“I’m not going to impose on you,” he began, sounding breathless from barely having recovered from his bout of giggles. 

“That’s questionable,” you took your chance to quip, earning a scoff from him. 

“All I’ll say is, I’m going to ask you for a third dance. And what you choose to respond with is entirely up to you.” 

Your tongue peeked out to wet your lips, the gesture making Youngho’s gaze shift briefly from your eyes to your lips, evidently having to force himself to bring his gaze back up to your eyes, looking at you with all the affection you wished you could immortalise in a painting. 

Nodding at him, you let yourself enjoy the rest of the dance with him, smiling until your cheeks hurt. And you let it continue as he asked you for a third dance, the both of you not giving it a second thought as you continued to relish in each other’s presence, in each other’s touch, in each other’s love. 

Oblivious to the murmurs and gossip that the both of you were inciting, you were only able to focus on him and him on you, protected and enveloped in the love you both shared no matter how exposed you felt in the room, just as how it should’ve always been. 

Conduct books be damned, here you were, simply a lady in love. 

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