#tactically that was the DUMBEST decision

[sadisticwoof-dcmk]

The Great Marriage Con

Hey @shinranweek this is the dumbest thing i have written but please accept this nonsense for Day 4 (Fake Relationship)

You’ve heard of fake-dating, now get ready for fake-marriage (because there isn't enough Shinichi and Ran making questionable decisions)

Kazuha had heard of people sending wedding invitations to millionaires and billionaires around the world, for the chance that those rich people wouldn’t check whether they know the happy couple, and just send a congratulatory gift  And she is very good at coming up with foolproof plans  She also knows of a certain people who would benefit from this plan of hers 

The People in question:

"This is the worst idea I have heard." "Think of all the books you could be gifted. Or that new fridge you've been wanting!" "Ran... Hattori has a point." "You want to trick people?" "It's not like they would follow through with it."

But then it sort of backfires (it comes to them as a real shock)

Ran stares at the letter in her hands, “Shinichi- You know how Kazuha-chan had that wonderful idea and we jokingly sent that wedding invitation to the rich members of society because you said, and I quote, ‘fuck capitalism?’ Do you remember that???”  “The details are fuzzy but the drinks we had that night were excellent.” Shinichi nods, “Did someone fall for it? Do I get my limited-edition books?”  She stiffly hands him the letter, “Uh, so good news - the Sugar Baby Tactic worked. Bad news? Did you also know that Kazuha-chan sent one to Suzuki Enterprise?” 

“How is that bad news? You would hope that she sent one to that family. They’re one of the richest in Japan.”  “Did you read the whole thing?”  “What do you mean the whole- Oh.”  Ran crosses her arms. “Do you remember why I said we shouldn’t send an invitation to the Suzuki Family?”  Shinichi carefully reads the words on the page, horror becoming more and more present on his face. “Shit- wait what? Why is she-” He hands the letter back to her. “So the youngest daughter of the Suzuki Family wants to come to our wedding to congratulate us. To our fake wedding that doesn’t actually exist?”  The karate champion rubs at her temple. “Suzuki-san went to our primary school when we were in first and second grade. She actually knew us, if you care to remember.”  The expression on his face would be hilarious if they weren’t in this situation.  

They break the news to Kazuha and Heiji, who are of no help and laugh at their dilemma.  

"Tell her the truth,” Heiji says with a shrug.  Kazuha scowls, “Don’t be ridiculous. Absolutely go for it. Get those presents.”  “This is not one of those Hallmark movies,” Shinichi huffs.   “Not with that attitude.” She pats Shinichi’s arm and looks him dead in the eyes, “You have one shot at this. Do not fuck this up.” 

And later-

“Ran, we are going to fuck this up.”  “I know! I thought you were the dumb one-”  “Excuse me?”  “I said what I said.” 

And it escalates

“We need a new plan. A very good one ASAP because more and more people are contacting me, congratulating me on our engagement.”   Shinichi scratches his head, “That’s not so bad, right?”  “Right. And how long before this fake news reaches your mother’s ears?”  Any traces of humour vanishes at her words, and is replaced by the pure, unbridled terror. “Ran- we have to get out of here- We need to elope-”  “I think you are forgetting the part where we are not technically getting married? Or are together?”  He shakes his head, “If my mother finds me, I don’t even care. We are going to see through to the end because my mother loves you more than she loves me, and if she finds out that it was all a lie?” he shudders, “You will be left without a husband and a find yourself with new mother-in-law.”  "You are not my husband, Shinichi." "Not so loud! My mother may hear-" “I think this is Kazuha-chan's fault,” Ran huffs.   Shinichi looks at her bewildered, “Ran, we never blame Kazuha-chan for things. It’s always Hattori.”  “Good point. It was his alcohol that did it.”  “Right. We are never letting Hattori supply us with alcohol, EVER again. I don’t think it's legal in Japan,” Shinichi groans.   “Japan? I don’t think that’s legal anywhere in the world!” Ran drops her head into her hands, “We seem to make bad decisions every time we drink with Hattori-kun and Kazuha-chan.”  "We should have learnt our lesson after the Spring Festival Incident." "Do NOT mention that day Kudou Shinichi."

Somehow they agree that they need to convince Suzuki Sonoko that they are indeed getting married and they would love to have her come to their wedding

Ran thinks this will end badly. Shinichi thinks this will most likely end badly (but it's better than facing his mother) Kazuha thinks this is genius and she is patting herself on the back. Heiji wants to apologise for providing the drinks and starting all of this. Sonoko just wants to escape the Suzuki Enterprise for a weekend and is there for vibes and vibes only (and maybe she realises the con IMMEDIATELY and wants to see how far they would go, but that's between her and her secret twitter account)

#ShinRanWeek2022 #detective conan #dcmk #kudou shinichi #mouri ran #suzuki sonoko #hattori heiji #toyama kazuha #ShinRanWeek #fake dating #fake MARRIAGE #flipping the script #Sonoko always says that Ran and Shinichi are married #this time they have to prove to Sonoko they are getting married

[sun-strider-47]

Me: "I feel tired."

Also me, reading countless discussions/fights between:

• who's right or wrong between the Blacks and the Greens;

• the Blacks/Greens are bad/good;

• who should be the rightful Queen/King between Rhaenyra or Aegon;

• "Rhaenyra is a murdering w***hore and an evil b***itch, she has b***astards, she shouldn't be Queen";

• "Aegon is a drunkard, usurper w***hore and r***apist, he also has b***astards, he shouldn't be King";

• who usurps who;

• whose right it is to claim Vhagar in the first place;

• who is worse between Aemond or Daemon;

• "Daemon is a/not a groomer";

• "Daemon is an abusive husband and a warmonger/is a loving husband who protects his wife and family";

• Viserys should've/shouldn't have allowed Daemyra in the first place;

• Rhaenyra should've married: Daemon, Harwin, Aegon or Otto to prevent the Dance of the Dragons (I kid you not, that last option is real);

• GRRM is a terrible/good writer;

• "Aegon II won because he killed Rhaenyra and died as King", "Rhaenyra won because her line continued the Targaryens" or "no one won in the end because it killed all of them and their dragons";

• who made the dumbest decision in regards to war tactics in Dance of the Dragons;

• Alys groomed/loved Aemond;

• Viserys/Rhaenyra/Daemon/Alicent/Otto is/are a terrible parent/s;

• or who do you want to badly h*ump between Aemond or Daemon (this is obviously a joke, but it would be fun to have a discussion about this lol).

Tbh it's fun to read them on Reddit/Instagram but they are exhausting af.lol

So I just decided to drool over Aemond and call it a day.🤷🏻‍♀️

#house of the dragon #hotd #fire and blood #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #viserys targaryen #otto hightower #alicent hightower #the blacks #the greens #grrm #george rr martin #reddit #discussion #instagram #cursing warning #daemyra

[windudemon]

socionics is full of arbitrary dichotomies and then incorrect ones too.

for example central and peripheral. central is se and periphral is ne users. in model g, gulenko says alpha and delta quadras are peripheral. hmmm, i wonder why?

merry quadras are just fe users.

judicious / decisive dichotomy is actually the same thing with central and peripheral. what makes a type decisive? being thing-centric. being se direct. what makes a type judicious? preference to see things from different perspectives.

just how many times you will rename the same thing?

farsighted and carefree dichotomy makes no sense whatsoever. you can say this dichotomy is dipshittery just from the introductin text here:

Carefree / Farsighted is one of the 15 Reinin dichotomies. More research is needed to fully understand this dichotomy.

no matter how much research you put into this, it won’t make sense. entj is carefree with te and ni? esfp and estp is farsighted with ni inferior? intp (lii) and infp (eie) is farsighted (procrastination monsters) while istj and istp both carefree? pure bullshit.

negativist / positivist dichotomy is not that bad but whoever this “reinin” guy was, he didn’t have ti for sure. you can’t possibly find the underlying ti “law” why some types are negativists and others are positivists. enfp is a negativist but esfp is a positivist? okay… you think, so maybe ne makes a person negativist because after all these types share fi at the same slot? no. because entp is a positivist according to him and estp is a negativist.

strategic / tactical is the worst. most obviously, intj (ili) is a strategist, not a tactician. ni dominance (intuition of time) is a “dynamic” function with which you simulate the future and that IS strategizing, straight up. if ni dominant, ne ignoring, se inferior is not strategic then you know you are reading a dimwit.

THEN THERE IS INTERNAL/EXTERNAL WHICH IS THE DUMBEST!

socionists believes ti, te, se and si are external functions while all the rest internal. for example fe is VERRRRY internal as we all know, lol.

si is external? go to wikisocion your bible, click information elements. see what’s the first word describing si? let me help you: homeostasis. which of course we know external huh?

more quotes from main si page: Si is associated with the ability to “internalize” sensations and to experience them in full detail….. A strong ability to recognize internal physical states in themselves……… Individuals who possess Si as a base function are drawn to situations that satisfy their inner physical experience………. The avoidance of discomfort is one of the primary motivations of these types. (discomfort happens within hence internal. you focus on your inner world and you keep things nice and cozy with your endless subjective rules there).

AH OKAY THEN. you meaan si is sensing so that’s what makes it external? your bully smacks you and you feel inner discomfort thus its cause is external? i have big news for you: ne is external too then. i see a cloud, then i think aaah this cloud looks like a witch riding a broom.

and then ti is external? ti is logical analysis function and fi is ethical analysis function they are both internal. analysises made out of many inner steps and calculations. i mean you can make this external / internal dichotomy and show your left ear with your right hand going through your legs after fingering yourself while you are at it but it would just MUCK the typology and wouldn’t help anyhing.

visit my main blog @ demonwindu.wordpress.com

#16 types #socionics #cognitive functions #reinin dichotomies #dichotomy fetishism #jungian typology #entp #estp #enfp #esfp #estj #entj #esfj #enfj #infj #intj #intp #infp #istp #istj #isfp #isfj

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 165: 2x19, 13x20

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

April 26, 2022

2x19: Folsom Prison Blues

Written by: John Shiban

Directed by: Mike Rohl

Original air date: April 26, 2007

Plot Synopsis:

Sam and Dean allow themselves to be arrested in order to investigate a series of murders inside a penitentiary. However things get complicated when FBI agent Henricksen shows up to take over their case.

Features:

Dean’s Blue Steel, Victor Henriksen returns with a list of charges, Dean being unsettlingly comfortable with prison life, the ghost of an evil nurse, breaking out of prison, Sam and Dean getting their asses saved by a very cool lawyer. 

My Thoughts:

This is such a fun episode. I didn’t take too many notes because I was having a good time just watching. I always love an undercover episode, especially in the early seasons when they were too young to just go the FBI route every single time. I like that this is the last time we see Henriksen in Stacked too, not his death. 

Despite Sam making fun of Dean for fitting in too well, they honestly both work so well in the situation. Dean can blend in with any crowd and is great at hustling poker, and Sam is friendly enough that he can make friends with Randall enough to get the info that they need. 

I like a case where they’re trapped with the danger - if they were anywhere else, they could get a motel room and leave a haunted space while they figure out what’s going on, but they have to think on their feet with this one. Also, this ghost looks genuinely scary and the special effects are great. 

I loved Henriksen’s whole plot, and I wish we’d gotten more episodes on it. Having there be real-world, extremely dangerous consequences to their actions ups the stakes of whatever cover they use day-to-day. Plus, it’s fun to listen to the ever-growing list of charges against them. 

Notable Lines:

“You think you’re funny.” “I think I’m adorable.”

“This is, without a doubt, the dumbest, craziest thing we've ever done. And that's in a long, storied career of dumb and crazy.”

“Just because these people are in jail, doesn't mean they deserve to die.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 8.9

IMdB Rating: 8.7

13x20: Unfinished Business

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Directed by: Richard Speight Jr.

Original air date: April 26, 2018

Plot Synopsis:

Gabriel is back and drags Dean and Sam into his plot for revenge on the demigods who sold him to Asmodeus. Meanwhile, Jack's growing confidence leads to reckless decisions that could put others in harm's way.

Features:

More Sabriel-bait, the Norse pantheon, Apocalypse-world Kevin Tran, the real Loki, Jack as one of Mary’s boys, Jack realizing he can’t save everyone, Gabriel keeping a promise.

My Thoughts:

This is kind of a weird episode that doesn’t track super well for me, and I think part of that is on purpose and part of it isn’t. As is common with Apocalypse World episodes, the A plot and B plot are almost entirely divorced from each other, even thematically. 

In terms of the Gabriel half of the episode, it was reasonably fun. The stylization didn’t really work for me, I’m assuming because I’ve never seen Kill Bill. The Sabriel-bait continues to be strong in this episode, which continues to be completely wild and unnecessary in a hilarious way. We’ve got Sam patching Gabriel up, checking in on him, paralleled with him in terms of torture suffering and revenge. And then for some reason Dean is the one who wants to hear stories of him fucking pornstars, which, whatever. The effects aren’t very good on the Norse pantheon, and they join the “just some guy” gang of antagonists that they didn’t have a very big budget for. Sleipnir looks like a Ken doll. I did like that Gabriel’s capture got explained, I was annoyed by that when he first got brought back. 

I have a grudge against Apocalypse World in general, but this arc isn’t as bad as many of the others. It makes sense that Jack needs to learn a lesson about tactics and strategy at this point in his development, and I really like any scenes between him and Mary. It makes Mary’s death more meaningful to see the relationship they had before he lost his soul, when she counted him as one of her boys. I love seeing him instinctively sheltering her in his wings.

I don’t like the alternate universe versions of characters generally, but Osric Chow kills it with his acting, and I do actually think this makes sense in terms of the character that we loved in the original timeline. He’s definitely my favourite of all the alternate-world characters that have appeared. 

I think the talk between Dean and Sam at the end of the episode was interesting, and it did explain Dean acting extremely annoying and stupid (safe to say this isn’t an episode for the Deangirls), but I wish we saw more of both of their trauma and ptsd in dealing with Michael and Lucifer again. Dean acting reckless and sidelining Sam makes sense in that context, but I want to see more emotional reactions now and then.  

Notable Lines:

“Hiya, handsome. You ready to die?”

“Face it, old friend, you're a joke. You're a failure. You live for pleasure. You stand for nothing. And in the end, that's exactly what you'll die for.” “You first.”

“I don't care what happens to me. I never really have. But I do care about what happens to my brother.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 8.1

IMdB Rating: 8.1

In Conclusion: I miss Cas :(

<< Previous Day  |  Next Day >>

#Stackednatural #supernatural #spn #2x19 #Folsom Prison Blues #13x20 #Unfinished Business

[rileylandia]

She deflated and she appeared defeated and in that moment, she felt it too, so she turned away, back toward Elle but suddenly the eldest Cameron pushed himself to the forefront of the brunette's mind.  “No,”  She shook her head, but it wasn't Elle she was speaking to. Not that time.  “No.”  She said again, firmer, louder, because now she was speaking to Elle and she brought herself face-to-face with her fellow brunette again, a newfound determination in her eyes and in her stance.

His voice filled her ears. Stand up for yourself, Riley.  “No, Elle. I'm not going to go anywhere—and you know what else? You are not going to talk to me like that, like a child and I'm not going to let you think for even a second that you can shoo me away, like a child because I'm not.” 

“You think you're better than me... you're not. You think you're better than him... you're not, especially not if you're resorting to the same tactics he would use. Fighting fire with fire, violence with violence. You're smart, Elle, but this is the dumbest decision you will have ever made, if you follow through with it.”  She maintained a high head and confident stance, arms hanging at her sides until she crossed them over her chest.  “You don't know him. Nobody knows him. I do. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. I do. Nobody's perfect, nobody's flawless, nobody's without faults or mistakes—and you cannot display kindness if you haven't had kindness displayed to you.”

“You're welcome to do whatever you want, Elle, and I'm not going to try to stop you, but whatever you do, you will have to do with the knowledge that whatever way you come for him, I'm going to be stood in front of him, so if you want to get to him, you're going to have to get through me. Because he's my friend. And I protect my friends, with the same intensity you protect yours.”

▐ @nosestealer, CONT. FROM HERE.

#▐ ... ﹫𝐦𝐚𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰𝐬‚ in character. #nosestealer

[ailtrahq]

John E. Deaton – a US attorney representing thousands of Ripple investors in the lawsuit against the US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) – does not see how the regulator will prevail. He described the agency’s claim that it wants faster adjudication than the blockchain enterprise as the “dumbest argument” he had heard. In his view, the SEC’s only option is to prolong its inevitable loss by appealing the court’s decision whenever possible. The SEC’s Desperate Tactics The lawyer recently published an essay depicting the SEC’s potential strategy in the infamous legal battle versus Ripple. According to him, the partial win the crypto firm secured in mid-July has been a significant milestone and will most likely lead to a decisive victory. Recall that a US Judge ruled that Ripple’s XRP sales did not constitute an offer of investment contracts. A decision that boosted the price of the digital asset by over 70%. [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUTDJAy0Kxs[/embed] The SEC, though, did not back down and formally appealed the ruling at the beginning of September. Deaton believes that even if the requests get granted, it will still not be enough for the watchdog to win the case, as Judge Torres will once again rule in favor of Ripple by fully explaining her “reasoning.” “Should an early appeal be granted, it will take another year and a half to two years for the US Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit to rule on the issue. If the SEC were to win at the 2nd Circuit, which I believe they won’t, then the case gets remanded back to Judge Torres, who would apply the facts of the case to the other Howey factors not yet analyzed.” In other words, the agency can appeal the decisions that are not in its favor as long as it has the chance, but they will have no effect on the final resolution. “The SEC will spitball separate arguments from ongoing cases into its appeal process—delaying litigation across the board. These are the desperate tactics of a regulator who lost the case,” Deaton concluded. What Could Happen if Ripple Emerges Victorious? Numerous experts have predicted that the outcome of the prolonged lawsuit between the two entities will significantly impact XRP’s price. One such person is the crypto analyst using the X (Twitter) handle KALEO. According to them, the SEC’s appeal will hit a dead end, which will eventually trigger a price rally for Ripple’s native token. CryptoPotato also released a video dedicated to XRP and, more specifically, how the asset could perform during the next bull market. Those wishing to find out more can click on the clip below: [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2ve314r74k[/embed]

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Crosby, Stills & Nash perform "Wooden Ships" at the 1997 Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony" on YouTube

You know our son is right this guy bja is a fool and we can't stand him either he's going on the list to be killed you don't want to do anything it makes sense Mac is in a reverse to losing part of The shield so you can sit there and threaten try and fire off and fight Tommy instead you want to be nothing and trying to attack here with ships that are really slow compared to theirs and complete sitting ducks. No your people hurt our son and Trump's people and Trump is going to load his boat up and you can't fly off the wrong direction you just sail and Michael know that you're just going to sail down there and not attack the states he doesn't care that much doesn't want you flying up and ruining those ships it's some kind of plan not really sure what it is. So you're going to just fly right at the cannons it's some sort of complete moron any reason for that at all no you're definitely going to die you have a troops and your ship is on what is your reasoning it's a distraction not much of a distraction that you slow and distraction would be fine really wiggle all over you don't have any on board and you're a fool I'm tired of talking to you you're a complete jackass and you're an animal you don't look like when I'm sometimes but you sound like an animal all the time good boy you a stupid person bja and he's right we're wasting time talking to you so dumb I want you off the air I don't want to talk to you at all you're an airhead you can't see this math you don't understand this man you are the dumbest person I've ever seen a lot of people hate your kind so much they don't care what happens. My son doesn't care love the shifts teach little f****** weiner right now there's a whole bunch of people fighting over those ships and he's doing it on purpose cuz a lot of your people are helping him apparently you're not so you're fired. It's not a tactical decision that's suicide its wood. They did not work it's not worth talking to them but he says this y'all stupid they never make it over here there's something called spaceships have you heard of them and they say yeah we heard of them we're taking them down and said no you're not none of you make it who told you you're taking them down and they started yelling we see them going down those are your ships and you have small fleets now by comparison and you're fools and they're not even trying to we're not saying anything to you about it except that your ships so they look like empire ships you don't know what the difference did not empire ships coming down the airships and their support and they suck what's wrong with you people you're so dumb you're so f****** dumb I want to come over there and strangle all of you go to the island and something for those wooden ships you f****** pricks or shut the f****** and die like men

So we're starting to hear something get off my channel you going to butt f*** yourself to death you're at you're complete loser I don't want to hear you about anything you hearing stuff good for you all of you hear voices all day cuz you're running around having people say stupid dumb things

This is the epitome of evil here these people so mean to him we've got a lot of stuff to say about it but we want to get going on this they're going to fly their a****** ships over here and they're all going to die and those ships are going to explode into flames they sent the song back and they're going to see it in many occasions and yelling like it's a good thing and Garth is going off like some sort of maniac. The guy who's singing and hollering and is joyful is cheeseman and he's an idiot it's his troops too and Trump is singing no that's Brad and it is Tommy f the other singer yeah so what's Trump doing f****** around with everybody his other drums banging away like a monkey I can't believe these people don't get this this is putting them into a different category of stupid you can't do anything but be huge assholes to each other no matter what and Tommy F wanted you to make it and he wants to make the ships and was happy about it and our son was hoping to have something happen different instead of going on Killian women and making fun of them and you're just completely gone I'm putting order and hits when you jackass is here

Thor Freya

I'm sick and tired of you dumb retards you put things on his phone it doesn't make any sense you full of gibberish and you're going to kill yourself in front of everyone how embarrassing

Mac

I don't care what you say we're going to do what we want to do

Bja

Did you get nothing from me and mine ever bja I'm going to disable all your missiles every time you build them right after you're done I'm going to take your stupid money you get no support nor does Trump you're cut off from everything until you people are dust that island is going to be a hell hole I don't want you here I don't want you there I want you all dead and you get the f*** out of here too

Zues Hera

We're not going to give you a chance to do anything cuz you don't want one you're a little boy little baby a little sissy I'm going to make you feel it and see it you've been when your whole life

Thor Freya

We are going to cut you off going to start doing it now I'm going to help with the blockade I'm going to slaughter you everyone in the Earth is going to slaughter you now he said in the order out and having Hera write it we don't want to see you around. We really don't feel bad for you and yours your cannibals and your subhuman and your nasty pieces of crap and we want you gone now I'm going to apply ourselves he needs help from you you're the problem

Olympus

#Youtube

[asroarke]

indra really woke up just to yeet marcus kane 2.0 from the ship and then went the fuck back to sleep huh

#the 100 crack #indra kom trikru #the 100 spoilers #I mean not really because she wasnt even IN THAT EPISODE #you mean to tell me that indra woke up and didnt stop raven from landing the ship #tactically that was the DUMBEST decision #and indra would have been like no lets use the prime as a hostage for negotiation #but NOPE #abby and raven walked back into sanctum #and almost got burned at the stake #jfc #INDRA FIX THIS SHIT

[dav3katz]

Oooh a new ask blog for homestuck :D!! Can I have hcs for Yandere!Karkat x reader, please? Thank you 😘🥰!

Yandere karkat hcs

- karkat is quite obsessive as a yandere, though I do think a lot of Homestuck yanderes are much worse than him in this regard.

- he’s still obsessive though, and he is constantly at a battle with himself. Wondering if he feels more red or black for you

- cause while a regular karkat might be able to pin that down a yandere karkat cannot. He hates what he feels for you and how much his feelings for you have caused problems in his life and he confuses that with genuine hatred for you at times

- but a part of him can’t fathom the idea of truly hating you? Like he would never kill you or anything of the sort. But he still kinda hates you and what you make him feel. See? It’s confusing. And he’s so contradictory.

- suppose he just doesn’t understand what he feels. He goes in between talking shit about you for endless hours because he hates your guts so goddamn much, or he’s sappy and rambling about how talented and sweet you are and how you make him so fucking happy.

- he goes out of his way to bother and annoy you. It’s kinda like how he’d antagonize and start fights with sollux for the fuck of it, but it’s much more common and intense with you and usually never gives you a break.

- however, still similar in the regard he will say some mean shit and then cry type over whether or not you’re still friends (because y’all definitely aren’t dating yet)

- he does care for you though. So deeply in fact, it frustrates him. It frustrates him even more that he feels a protectiveness over you. It makes him even MORE frustrated when he knows he can’t protect you. He’s just a short, mutantblood, what can he honestly do except do intimidation tactics.

- Karkat is a jealous yandere, gets jealous over the dumbest shit. He doesn’t even get it either at first, which frustrates him. When he’s finally dating you though he knows it very well.

- it leads to problems. He assumes you like the person, he assumes you’re cheating on him. Or he simply assumes you’re doing it on purpose so he has every fucking right to get the guy murdered.

- overbearingly clingy, though unsurprising since back in his early days.. before he met these damn humans.. he was always available to talk to his fellow trolls. It should come as no shock he has no fucking life.

- Karkat is generally not a dangerous yandere, he can be if jealous. His jealousy makes him angry and causes him to make rash decisions, but he feels justified in his anger. He doesn’t completely understand his attraction, his feelings are mixed and jumbled together. Despite somebody with supposed experience in romance.

- but deep down, even if he feels he hates you, he knows he loves you just as much.

- but he needs to know you love him. Or else it’s the end of the fucking world. He’s so dramatic about you not saying I love you every 10 goddamn minutes. He’s overly insecure, which may correlate to the jealousy.

- but he doesn’t think he’s obsessed. He thinks he’s normal. He’s completely off his fucking hinges though.

- and the more you show you don’t love him (in his eyes at least) the closer he is to murdering everyone else you’ve ever grown to know

- (also, he’s got creepy ass stares. Stares at you with this fuckin glare on his face. You can’t tell if it’s his normal expression or if he’s mad at you for something.)

- sometimes, acts like you’re a useless fuckin toolbag that needs his assistance with everyone, a part of him knows how condescending it is, since he knows how it feels. He does it regardless.

- he’s just so insistent on helping you with everything. Whether it’s because he wants to help or truly seems you as a useless animal, who knows.

- but there is genuine love in there. It’s twisted, but it’s love.

#karkat vantas x reader #karkat x reader #hs x reader #homestuck x reader #homestuck karkat x reader #yandere #yanderestuck x reader

[myimaginarywonderland]

I am back on old fandoms and the bullshit they pulled, so here's a list of things that OUAT did that made the show awful and what they should have done instead:

- Graham's Death. He was so important to the story and should not have been killed that early+ he could have had so many interesting relationships like one with Ruby (platonic of course.) He could have been incredible as a actual wolf hunter and friend especially as someone who Ruby meet on her journey to embracing her own wolf. They could have worked together. He could have become a guardian of some sort for Henry and a useful ally.

- Doctor Hopper. I feel like he just disappeared? He was a great character with a moral compass. He was literally the closest Henry had to a parent as he was the only one to look out for him. And he was Henry's family for a while. Imagine him in season 2/3 with the whole pan and moral conflict.

- August. That whole storyline was so badly done. Also, he and Emma should have grown up as siblings. He was a great grey character and should have been portrayed as such with actually showing his guilt about everything if they went down the path of the OG show. They should have shown his developing relationship with Marko and Neal as well since he knew them before/during the course. He could have been incredible on Emma's journey.

- Cinderella from season 1? She just was never mentioned again. Show her as a background character. Generally most of the story lines in season 1 where never mentioned again which is a shame. They could have shown some of the characters just living their lives in the background.

- Dr. Whale. Did he ever make an appearance again? Probably not. He deserved it though. He was really intriguing in that whole villain/weird morally grey character arc. Plus that storyline with Ruby was going somewhere. And how come he was never brought in for all the dead bodies?

- Jefferson and Grace my beloved. They should have been mains. They deserved to be redeemed. Grace should have become a best friend of Henry because that's what he deserved all the seasons. Having another kid on some of the journeys would have been very interesting.

- Neal death was the dumbest decision the show runners ever made and they completely wasted his entire potential and ruined Rumple's storyline with it. He could have been a father to Henry without making him a love interest to Emma (I want to ship him with maybe Graham or Jefferson but that is just my headcanons.)

- Regina. Should have gotten ride of her in season 2 or 3. Awful character, rapist, abuser, mass murder and a bad mother at that. Literally one of the worst additions. Also bad villain.

- Pan's storyline. Peter Pan was the best villain on this show and they really just killed him off after a few episodes, completely didn't expend on his story at all and made him seem weak when he was more powerful than Regina and Rumple combined.

- Rumple. A wishy washy storyline with him after like season 3. I get they wanted to not make him a villain entirely but he wasn't really much of anything. Also if any villain deserved to be redeemed it was more him than Regina.

- Emma's magic powers. She should have absolutely trained on her own and had her powers gradually build up on her own without Regina's manipulation tactics. Also she should have never been a dark one.

- Mulan my beloved. This woman should have become a main and paired up with many more characters.

-Robin Hood. Man his storyline was just none existent? He only served as a lover for you know who and nothing more. He should have had a better backstory and more screen time also with mulan.

- Merida. Don't really remember much about her storyline but again should have become a main or at least side character for a season.

- Ruby should have been allowed to be a wolf more often and they should have used that side of her in the show.

- The whole Oz storyline? More depth please.

#anti ouat #anti once upon a time

[bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls]

what is that you like about calves?

I literally don't know... it's not like I have "a type". But I have a guess how I came to care about them at all. I call it The Mary Hart Factor.

Okay, so it's hard for me to overstate to what extent the 1980s were the Decade of the Calves. It didn't seem like it at the time, but it's kind of weirdly obvious in retrospect. A lot of the evidence can be found on YouTube... check out a few blocks of 1980s commercials, uncut and as-aired. It is crazy how many pantyhose ads were being shoved down our throats.

Long-lasting ad campaigns were built around convincing women that wearing L'eggs would give them energy to get through the day, and that "Gentlemen Prefer Hanes." (Seriously, if you rubbing-to-the-patriarchy types want to see some raw, smirking misogyny, watch 80s commercials.) But it was more than that... this was the peak era of commercial jingles, so we had "If you dare wear short-shorts, Nair for short-shorts" echoing through our heads as much as Thriller. Meanwhile, sitting pretty atop this mountain of paraphilia was Mary Hart, host of Entertainment Tonight.

The show's presence in the popular consciousness was derived almost entirely from a set-design decision... they put Mary Hart in an above-the-knee skirt and a chair behind an open, glass desk to read the day's showbiz news, and men went ape-shit. Half the dads in the country were thinking of Mary while they were pounding our moms. It eventually evolved past a quiet bit of fan-service... they pulled her away from the desk and into a lounger more often, and they threw extra light on her legs. Before long, it had even stopped being an unspoken promotional tactic... the press was made aware that Lloyd's had insured Mary's legs for $1 million each.

And during all of this, I was an impressionable teen... it had to seep in, right? Beware the nonsense you ingest, for the dumbest shit shall mark you forever.

#asks #memories

[aotopmha]

Notes on chapter 132, based on translations that are out.

-I like how Annie is written out on the character level. The chapter goes into detail considering her character motivations so far and why she decides to stay behind.

One thing I've noticed is people reducing Annie's character to her relationship with Armin now that it exists at all. It's like a knee-jerk reaction every time a female character ends up having a relationship with a male character. I understand it, stories tend to do that and I feel like the romantic element for Annie's and Armin's relationship is kind of out of nowhere myself, but this and the previous chapter clearly explore that Annie is tired of fighting after all of the fighting she has done and I think it makes sense for her as an individual character. It has nothing to do with Armin. Her main scenes in this chapter were actually with Mikasa and Reiner. It's a strange hyper-focus to me, I guess. It happens with Mikasa, too. You've got basically a good chunk of an arc focusing on the relationship between her and Armin with Eren doing his own thing (both Trost and Shiganshina), but she still only cares about Eren, I guess.

This is actually the first time Annie has considered her feelings and what she wants and that's good progress for a character that hates herself.

That said, having her back after 90 or so chapters and not having her actions matter that much here is wierd. The most I see as her plot importance right now is knocking sense into Reiner. I've seen people write the ship crew off already, but I can't help but feel they still might end up having more time and relevance because of paths or some other unforeseen circumstances. I think Gabi and Falco are in a similar situation, as well. If they don't, I think I will have a problem with Annie's involvement in the plot, but I think on a character level she's been handled just fine, even really solidly.

-I like that Floch dies with strong convictions and good intentions in mind. This is the most interesting aspect of Eren and the Yeagerists to me. They are doing this because they want to protect their country and people they love.

While people generally consider fascism as completely evil because of it's horrible methodology (as we also see in this series), the reason why it catches on during times of crisis is because it provides a clear and well-defined perspective within the chaos of the crisis and part of that is the element of saving the people (country) you love. This is a really important element of fascism and the reason why I'd rather not Eren be reduced to the standard villain, but still retain his nuance by the end. Evil is just as human and comes from just as human places as good and for us to not make the same mistakes, it is best to understand the mistakes on a human level and then learn from them, not just brush them off.

-I like Hange's death. It incorporates elements from both, Erwin's and Armin's, sacrifice. She went out there to make all of the deaths mean something and dedicated her heart one last time, which carried on Erwin's will till the end. The final scene of her among everyone is a wonderful callback to the soldiers who have followed the Survey Corps commanders around on their journey, from Erwin standing on the corpses of his comerades to both Erwin and Hange looking at their faces. It's good pathos in my eyes.

I think her farewell scene with Levi was really good for just how well it conveyed their relationship in a couple of gestures.

I've seen the final scene actually considered real and not symbolic of a job well done for Hange for the situation she was handed (which is what I think its narrative purpose was), which I personally think is one of the dumbest ideas I've seen around about the chapter because I think this is a pretty typical trope in war stories and AoT itself has used this stuff before at various points, with, as said, all the scenes with Erwin and Hange seeing their comerades.

But we also see stuff like Jean imagining him and the group of trainees being eaten by Titans before joining the Survey Corps just to convey a state of mind.

Erwin was not actually standing on those corpses, folks. It's all thematic imagery just like all of the animal stuff here and there. Hell, the people Hange knows less even have their backs turned to her.

If it is meant to be literal, it is extremely uncharacteristic of the story, but I feel if you know anything about visual storytelling and visual storytelling tropes, this is pretty typical.

I know there is also contention about Hange being the one to go out there and delay the Titans, but I don't think any of them would be able to do as much as Hange did alone here.

Onyakapon is obviously needed to fly the plane.

Reiner and Pieck would be pretty much useless in their Titan forms and we don't even know if Pieck can actually use the 3DMG, which is the more smarter option here to use over her tiny Titan form.

Connie and Jean going out there has nothing to do with their position in the story and their character arcs, while Hange is the one carrying the weight of the responsibility. Can you also really imagine Connie or Jean having the same competency taking down Titans as Hange, someone who has been doing it far longer than any of them?

Maybe Armin and Mikasa could. But that might leave the possibility of getting through to Eren off the table. I think what people also forget is that Eren still felt guilty when fighting them. Everyone Eren knows facing him might actually be a tactical advantage.

Hange does have a connection with Eren, but most of the group has a much stronger one with him than her.

Finally, there is Levi, who can't even stand up properly. I don't think he is fit enough to even hold off one Titan and as a result they would all be dead.

Outside of this group is also Annie, Yelena, Kiyomi and the two kids and only Annie feels the one equipped enough to take the distraction role.

But ultimately I think it's a thing of principle and character perspective.

Reiner and Annie can use the 3DMG in fairly skilled ways (they are higher ranked among the 104th), they have regenerative abilities and they are in a fairly good physical condition (though also probably much more exhausted than Hange). I think you could spin their character stories to fit this situation if you really wanted. Either of them could've gone to sacrifice themselves for the group to get away.

But Hange is the leader so she thinks she should take the responsibility. She straight-up says that she hasn't been a very efficent leader, so she views this as a redemption of sorts. Armin even offers to go instead of her.

You could paint it as plot convinience and be done with it, but just like Levi's decision to not inject Erwin, I think it makes sense on a character level and what Hange's character struggle has been about in this arc, even if it's not the most "logical" decision.

The other element that has contention related to Hange is that she passed the position of commander over to Armin.

In any other position, I would agree it to be Jean, but considering the context of going to fight Eren, I think Armin is fine and this to me is supported by the reasons Hange gives to appoint Armin as the commander.

Hange says that she appoints Armin because of his insight and courage.

The small detail that even if he's falling to pieces emotionally, he never actually runs away might be useful in the confrontation with Eren. Maybe he'll be overwhelmed and indecisive at points, which is why Jean could be more fitting, but ultimately he ends up at least facing the issue throughout however much turmoil.

While his ability to see the world through a more nuanced light and willingness to cooperate is not only a thematic way to contrast Eren and Armin (the former being stuck in his own perspective and the latter being willing to talk), his reasonings and wake-up calls might get through to Eren much more strongly because they have done so before, in Trost and in Shiganshina.

In any other situation I'd pick Jean, but here I think Armin is better or at the very least also a good option. It's not completely unreasonable.

I do not think this means any of the arcs of the characters are thrown under the bus. I feel everyone on the plane will get closure to their arcs. I think Jean's leadership ability will become relevant. I think Reiner's desire to be a hero will become relevant. I think Pieck's desire to fulfill her responsibility as a warrior will become relevant. I even think Connie's desire to kill Zeke will become relevant and finally so will Armin's and Mikasa's connection with Eren.

I'm much more worried about Zeke and Historia.

I think Historia is essential to make the thematic backbone of the story work. She's the first one among the Reiss to step up and break it. Why would she attempt to break the cycle by playing into it? I think Historia got another perspective of whatever Eren saw and might be working against that. Sadly it probably still involved letting Eren start the rumbling, but perhaps she found a way for it not to go all the way.

We know the oath of the First King is not actually a thing now because Ymir refused to comply, so who says Historia and paths Ymir can't have an encounter.

As a final note, I like the moment with Mikasa and Annie from Mikasa's perspective. The story opted to have Mikasa gain a more healthy perspective on Eren rather than complete independence from him and that can happen. You can go the independence route, but I think this works, too.

Relationships can change for the better and they can change for the worse.

All of this said, I think most of the content was nicely substantial and made sense, but that isn't the main issue I have with this chapter.

I think it has a pacing problem. Some scenes are just fine, but I feel some are a little too quick to have as much impact as I'd like them to have. Mainly Floch's and Hange's death scenes. The point behind them is good, but I think just a couple more pages of breathing room would've made this good chapter a great one.

I do think the anime giving this chapter just a little bit more time could definitely make it great and improve on the other ones where pace bothers me.

#Attack on Titan #Shingeki no Kyojin #AoT 132 #SnK 132 #Chapter 132 #AoT #SnK

[baebeyza]

Megatrons rated by the level of dumbass

[updated to include Siege]

Smartest to dumbest, say GO! (Note: Does not include IDW and Unicron Trilogy)

Transformers Animated

The least dumb Megatron of them all, a friggin mastermind who doesn’t need brute force to get what he wants, he only needs his smart mouth! ~

Just knows what to say at all times to manipulate the people around him, what an icon :D

And unlike most versions of the character, he doesn’t suffer from “Gay for Optimus” syndrome :3

Prime Wars Trilogy

To prove my point that he is smart, here is a video proof. 

Apart from that he’s a pretty tactical guy with lots of experience! And he also has a smart mouth, but he likes to use it to insult and annoy :D

Only reason I deemed him dumber than TFA Megs is that he doesn’t have a scheme in this show as he is not the villain. Also he does have Gay for Optimus-Syndrome.

Siege

Boy does not have Gay-for-Optimus syndrome, thats nice. For the most part of the season he doesn’t actually do anything dumb, it’s just every decision he makes ends badly for him. 

Inprisoning Magnus? Magnus spies on him and tells Oppy his plans

Setting up a fool-proof trap for the autobots? His decepticons fail really damn hard.

Killing Magnus? Releases the Alpha Trion protocols, making sure the autobots can get the AllSpark. 

Nothing happens in his favour, re-watching the show and only watching his scenes makes me sad x’D

It remains to be seen how his decision to release that virus will effect Cybertron...

Beast Machines

One damn angsty emo, he has no time to fuck around and do stupid shit, which makes him appear less dumb. Still a little dumb though, for using the sparks of former good guys for his goons and be surprised when they turn against him. Also he has fashion no sense

Beast Wars

Now we get to the dumber ones! And while BW Megatron is a damn genius criminal mastermind, one cannot forget the level of dumbass he had in season 1! I credit those moments of him just having not much experience as a leader in this kind of war, but still - the dumbass is still there, sadly u_u

G1

This Megatron is equal part genius and equal part dumbass. Do most of his plans fail? Yes. Are they fucking insane and creative? Also yes.

No true dumbass could come up with his variety of evil schemes, we all gotta appreciate that -v-

Transformers Prime

He has the biggest and strongest Gay for Optimus-Syndrome, and it makes him dumb all the time! His saving grace is the his huge level of intimidation, power and chemistry skills, or else you’d actually notice the fact that he sends his only medic to do fighting all the time and even threatened to keep him locked in a wall. Or making Airachnid his second-in-command. Or never bothering to look for Starscream, when he explicitely was under the impression that he was kidnapped by the autobots. 

And the dumbest thing - not killing Optimus Prime when the dude lost his memory! Come on Megatron, get your feels under control!

Robots in Disguise 2001

If he were nice he’d a himbo, but as he is he’s just a jock who has no idea what he’s doing. He’s on earth because he heard there would be some awesome source of power, but has no clue what exactly it is.

He tries really hard to be intimidating in front of the humans and gets flustered when he fails, awww. 

Smartest thing he did is stealing the Protoforms of the decepticons, that was a nice move :D ~ But apart from that he just vibes around hoping the plot gets moving soon

Beast Wars II

Megastorm can’t do math, and he can’t keep his act together. So dumb that Galvatron feels ashamed of him :(

But he gets a little bonus point for the times he managed to knock Galvatron out, and another bonus point for doing it in my favourite way - the good old Tekken-style throwing your family member into a volcano trick :D

Cyberverse

Did this guy EVER come up with his own plan? For anything? NO! No scheming, no insane plans, no tactics, NOTHING!

Nothing he ever did was his own idea. Not the plans to destroy earth, not the trick with faking the space-bridge’s destruction, wasn’t even his idea to use the transwarp teleporter to travel to other dimensions!

Use your processor, you dumb slut!

He’s also the perfect example of why Gay for Optimus-Syndrome is so horrible to have, as the other Megatron proves to be quiet effective without it. 

#transformers #megatron #tfp #tfa #g1 #rid01 #prime wars trilogy #cyberverse #beast wars #beast machines #beast wars ii #megastorm #transformer posting

[tvcoroner]

Yeah, so the SC fandom exploded when, once again, someone associated with the show has told them the ship is not happening. His name is J. Holtham, and he contributed four episodes for S5, including 5x07. He's brand new to the show.

*sigh* It never ends, does it? I looked into this, and I need to ask the Supercorp fandom a serious question.

What in the actual fuck is wrong with you people?

The writers, producers, and even some of the actors have told you they’re not taking Lena and Kara in a romantic direction. They’ve told you this for years. Over and over again. Every. Single. Season.

And every single time, without fail, you ignore them, claim they’re leading you on, and then act like victims.

You are not the fucking victims in this scenario. YOU have persisted with this ship, NOT the writers. YOU have started entire harassment campaigns against actors who had the audacity to exist on this show and be a love interest, primarily the male actors.

Good fucking God! Only you delusional fuckwits can spend literal years treating people like absolute shit and think YOU are the victims in this scenario. Literally, everyone who makes the decisions of this show has been honest with you over and over again, it’s not their fault that you refuse to fucking believe it.

Here’s a big dose of reality for you. You lost any goddamn right to play the victim when you started to attack the male actors of this show. You lost A LOT of sympathy from other parts of the fandom on top of that because you just kept getting worse! You even tried to dragon other parts of the fandom into your bullshit. I mean, holy shit, the Supercorp fandom has been desperately trying to absorb the Alex and Kelly shippers and the Nia Nal fandom into their collective hatedom since their inception.

Last season they tried ESPECIALLY hard to do that, trying to rope those other fandoms together to protest about the show once again being truthful about not making Supercorp canon, even though the SC fandom, Dansen, and Nia Nal fandoms had absolutely nothing in common.

Dansen shippers and Nia Nal fans rightfully had problems with their lack of screentime. That was a legitimate issue because their screentime left a lot to be desired. The SC fandom tried to use them in order to inflate their numbers. It mostly didn’t work.

Hey SC shippers, you are not the victims here. You have made the Supergirl fandom into one of the most toxic fandoms on the internet. It’s gotten SO BAD that the cast barely interacts with the fandom anymore. Multiple actors have left this show, coincidentally the actors that you bullied, and then cheered when they left.

I’ll say this again like I have countless times before, but I remember you people liked saying “We really are that powerful” after James Olsen left. You cheered. You celebrated that you were successful.

And then when Mehcad decided to talk about how he needed extra security at a convention because of death threats, instead of being normal human beings you decided to harass the poor guy EVEN MORE.

All of this horrendous shit you’ve done, well here are the consequences. It would be the dumbest shit in the world to give you psychopaths what you want. That would not only be insulting to the multiple actors you have victimized with your endless attacks, it would also make you feel justified to do it all over again.

I hoped and prayed you would learn a lesson after Once Upon a Time. The Swan Queen fandom did much the same thing you’re doing right now and the writers didn’t give them a single fucking inch.

You don’t reward bullying. It’s as simple as that.

These writers aren’t ever going to give you what you want. If you had tried honey instead of a flamethrower then the circumstances might be different. I’ve said for a looooong time now that if the Supercorp fandom had taken a different tactic and instead been positive and supportive, then the writers probably would’ve made SC canon eventually. It’s not unfounded.

And just to deflect something I know will come my way eventually, stop using the minority of good people in the SC fandom as a shield against people pointing out your toxicity. It’s the most pathetic copout ever. You seem to think that gives you a free pass to say whatever vile, disgusting shit you want without any criticism.

It doesn’t.

To the very few actual good people in the SC fandom who just want to enjoy their ship and refuse to participate in the harassment, then you have my condolences, but it was the rest of your fandom that resulted in the writers being so repulsed by your ship’s toxicity that they won’t even entertain the idea of Supercorp happening.

It’s unfortunate for you, but that doesn’t really change the bigger picture. Better luck with your next ship.

The SC fandom is in this situation because of themselves. They’ll point the blame at literally everyone else, but SC isn’t canon because of them. SC will likely never be canon because of them. You don’t continuously punch someone in the face, ask them for a favor, and then get offended when they say no. They have a pretty good reason, on account of their bloody face, to tell you to fuck off.

So please, just fuck off. On behalf of everyone who is just so beyond tired of your bullshit, fuck off.

#supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp #anti supercorp

[avengerscompound]

Like Rabbits - Chapter 3

Like Rabbits:  A Black Widow/WinterHawk Fanfic

Masterlist // PREVIOUS

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Rating: E Square: none

Word Count:  2078

Warnings:  a little angsty a little fluffy, sex talk.   Baby making talk.

Synopsis:  While you and Natasha are contemplating starting a family together, Bucky and Clint are doing the exact same thing.  So two couples go take the same path to parenthood together.

A/N: This is a Nat/Reader chapter.

Chapter 3

Natasha had taken a while considering how she would broach the subject of being a sperm donor with Clint and Bucky.  It wasn't exactly like asking to borrow a pen after all.  Sure both things you loaned out without the expectation of getting it back again, but the pen was never gonna show up 18 years later wanting to meet its father.

She had considered just encouraging them to have a foursome and then maybe you'd ‘accidentally’ get pregnant and then she could just say, ‘oh well not to worry, you don't need to be involved, we’ve got this’.  Asking for forgiveness was usually a lot easier than asking for permission.  This might be one of those circumstances where that wasn't the case though.  There was definitely a line she would have crossed that she has always sworn she wouldn't even go near.

In the end, she decided to try the sales executive tactic.  She’d take them out to a nice dinner to butter them up, and then make a proposition.

She’d booked a private room at Atera and it wasn’t until she was sitting next to you at the table in the three Michelin star and Clint and Bucky came in that she’d realized this was the dumbest idea she’d had to date.

Neither Bucky or Clint looked comfortable at all.  Clint was in an ill-fitting light brown suit and his tie was off-center.  He had a band-aid on his forehead and a bruised cheek.   He shuffled in the door, hunched over a little and looking around like he was about to be found out as an imposter.

Bucky’s clothes fit much better, but they made him stand out.  He was dressed in black jeans and a black leather jacket in a restaurant where everyone was in suits and cocktail dresses.  He stood stiff and on alert like he was expecting to have to defend himself being there.

Natasha smiled awkwardly and got up and kissed both their cheeks.  “This restaurant was a bad idea, wasn’t it?”  She said.

“Well, it’s not exactly us, if that’s what you mean,”  Clint said.  “It’s not you either.  Is it a special occasion?”

Natasha shrugged.  “I don’t know what I was thinking really.  Wanted to treat you.”

The boys both greeted you and took a seat.  “At least it’s a private room,”  Bucky said.  “Could do without the eyes on me.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”  Natasha apologized again.

A waitress came in and took your drink orders and explained the tasting menu to you all, offering you all wine pairing with each course.  Everyone passed and you and Natasha both ordered the strongest cocktails on the menu while Bucky and Clint both ordered a beer.

“So…”  Clint said turning back to Natasha.  “You said you’re paying right?”

Natasha started laughing.  “Don’t worry.  It’s covered.  I was…”  She shook her head and looked at you, hoping that the fact she had no idea what words to actually use to ask them.

“You were what?”  Bucky asked.

“Is something wrong?”  Clint added.  “Oh god, you’re dying aren’t you?  It’s cancer.  Nat, do you have cancer?

“Jesus, Clint,” Natasha said.  “Calm down.  I … that is to say we -” she reached over and took your hand.  “- just have a favor to ask.  It’s kind of a big one.”

“Oh, so you were buttering us up.  I get it.”  Clint teased, his body visibly relaxing.

“We kinda have a rather huge favor to ask too,”  Bucky said.  “Well technically, you,”  He added facing you.

“Me?”  You said.  “What do you need?”

The waiter came out and put the first course in front of each of you.  It was a small cup of broth with a ball of wilted greens sitting in the center.  Clint looked at it and grimaced.

“You ask first.  There is no way yours is bigger than ours.”  Bucky said.

“That's doubtful,” Natasha said taking a mouthful of soup.  She could see why Clint had reacted the way he did.  It tasted like grass.

“Might be best if you just say it, Tasha,” you said, rubbing her thigh under the table.

Natasha took a deep breath.  You were right of course, but now she was here it felt like the only answer Bucky and Clint could give was no.  “Lately we’ve been talking about starting a family a lot.  It's something we both really want to do.  We considered adoption but we think it might be something we end up on a waitlist forever for only to end up being rejected because of our jobs.  So we thought we’d have our own.  Only we are missing a key baby-making ingredient. We hoped one of you might… help us out with that…”

Clint and Bucky both stared at Natasha with their mouths hanging open.  They looked at each other still gaping in shock and then back at Natasha again.

“Um… so…”  Clint said slowly.

“It’s okay.  You don’t have to answer yet.  We understand if you need to think about it.  Talk it through with each other.”  You said, almost sounding apologetic.

Bucky shook his head and Clint reached over the table and patted your hand.  “Um…”  He repeated.

“Maybe you should hear what we were gonna ask,” Bucky said wincing.

“What is it?”  Natasha said.  Whatever reaction she had been expecting, it wasn’t this.  Complete panic was what she’d thought would happen.  She’d wouldn’t have been surprised by an automatic ‘no’.  Even Clint just casually saying; ‘Sure, why not, I love jacking off,’  wouldn’t have made her raise her eyebrow.’  This dumbfounded staring was freaking her out.

They both looked at each other again and Clint huffed.  “Okay.  I’ll do it.”  He said.  “So… we were gonna ask… if maybe… you -” he said looking directly at you. “ - would be willing to surrogate for us.”

“Oh my god!”  You squeaked, covering your mouth.

“Right?  So… uh… we’re willing to help you out but -”  Bucky said.

“Only so much uterus real estate at a time…”  Natasha said and let out a breath.  She looked at you and took your hand, playing with your fingers.  “Ignoring us, you think you would have done that, zaika?”

You furrowed your brow.  “Would need to think about it.  It’s big.  Like… it’s not just the am I involved with the baby.  It’s the being pregnant and then just handing the baby over.  I mean… my gut says I would want to help them… but I don’t know that I wouldn’t get attached.”

“Right,” Bucky said frowning.

“I mean, Buck… it would be fair.  You help us and we help you.”  You said reassuringly.  “It’s just a big ‘need to think about it’ decision.”

“But fair and having to have babies back-to-back is totally another thing,”  Bucky said.  “And if we did that, who waits?  Who gets to be parents first?”

Natasha frowned and reached over, running her fingers down the back of your neck.  “It’s a lot.  We can’t rush this.”

The waiter returned taking the cups away and putting down bowls with a scoop of black caviar and a scoop of burnt cream.  Clint wrinkled his nose again.  Natasha got it, but caviar she liked and she took a spoonful and savored the salty taste.

Clint huffed again.  “Is that how we’d do it?   I mean… if we do it.  Just two pregnancies in a row?”

“Well, unless it’s twins, how else would we?”  Bucky asked.

No one said anything, though you opened your mouth 5 times like you were trying to say something.

“Did you get stuck, zaika?”  Natasha asked, rubbing your leg.

“Okay, so part of me is like ‘my poor body’, and part of me is like ‘can I give up a baby I just carried for 9 months?’ but you know what is really sticking for me?”  You asked.

“What is it?”  Bucky asked.

“How can we split up siblings?  You both had siblings right?  What if they got raised by other people and you didn’t know?  What if you knew them even but just were never told that kid was your brother or sister?”  You said.  “Tasha, what if you found out you had a brother or sister?’

Bucky and Clint both sagged in their chairs and Natasha leaned back in hers.  She wanted to pull on her hair or rub her eyes with the back of her hand, but she’d spent so long on her hair and makeup and she really didn’t want to ruin it.

“We’ll donate,”  Bucky said eventually.  “We all shouldn’t have to miss out on something like this just because one of us has to.”

Clint nodded.  “Yeah.  Buck’s right,” he said.  “Take your pick.  And you know…maybe they can just know we’re they’re dad.  And spend some time with us too.”

No one said anything again.  Not even a thank you.  Which given that Natasha felt so excited her heart might just beat out of her chest they really deserved the thank you, and being hugged and kissed and hugged again that she wanted to do.  But it felt wrong considering they were missing out.  It would be much harder for them to find a surrogate than for you and her to find a donor.

The plates were taken away and bowls were put out with flowers in them and then a steaming, fish scented broth poured over the top.

“Really wishing we’d just got pizza now,”  Clint said, poking at his flowers.

“I’m sorry, Clint.  I’ll get you a pizza after.”  Natasha said apologetically.

“Hey,” you said, quietly.   “What if, we all do it together?”

“What do you mean?”  Bucky asked.

“I mean… co-parent?  We share custody.  You can be their dads.  We can be their moms.  We all win.  I mean, either way, even if we all adopted, we’re all family.  Right?”  You explained.

No one said anything again as they thought it over.  Though no one was eating the flower soup either.  The bowls were taken and replaced with trout liver and brown butter.  “Shit, I’m sorry, Clint,”  Natasha apologized.  “I really thought out of 24 courses you’d get some you’d like.”

Clint shook his head.  “It’s fine.  Other things to worry about.”  He said.  “How would we do it?  Will it be like a divorced couple?  We get weekends and holidays and you get weekdays?”

“Maybe…” You said.  “Or, maybe we could live together?  Or if not together, like… what if we bought two places, next door to each other and connected them through the kid's room?  Or something like that?”

“Huh,” Bucky said and took a long drink of his beer.  “You think we could do that?  I mean… would that be strange for the kid?  Or us?  I mean, we’re both your ex, Nat?”

Natasha shrugged.  “You’re also my favorite people.  I think I could handle it.”

“Huh,” Bucky repeated.

“And as someone who had no parents, I can safely say the idea of four loving parents is like heaven to me.”  She added.

“This is really something we can do?  We all get to be parents?”  Clint asked.

“I think so.  I mean… we should probably all think about it, right?  It’s a huge decision.”  You said.

“Yeah.  Yeah, right.”  Clint said rubbing his chin.   “Lots of things to consider.”

Bucky chuckled.  “You want to do it, don’t you?”

Clint nodded sheepishly and Natasha reached over and ruffled his hair, loving him even more in that moment than she normally did.

Bucky shrugged.  “I mean… it feels like fate.  We both come here wanting the same thing.  Maybe this is what was meant to happen.”

“Would we still get our farm?”  Clint asked.

They took the plates again and replaced them with smoked trout and pork fat.  Clint finally ate one of the dishes, albeit in one single mouthful.

“You wanted to get a farm?”  You asked.

“Oh yeah.  Keep them safe.  Get a dog.  Have a place that isn’t… Avengers.”  Clint said.

You looked at Natasha and smiled.  “I like it.  And we could build a place that works for us.  Where we have our own space and shared space.”

Natasha’s smile was mirrored by Clint and Bucky’s.  “I feel like this is happening.  Is this happening?”  Clint asked.

“I still think we should think about it,”  Bucky said.  “But I think I’m in.”

“Me too.”  You said.

Natasha smiled and took your hand and squeezed it.  “Yeah.  I think this is perfect.”

// NEXT

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow fanfic #bucky barnes #clint barton #hawkeye #the winter soldier #winterhawk #bucky barnes x clint barton #winterhawk fanfic #hawkeye fanfic #the winter soldier fanfic #reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #pregnancy #like rabbits #femslash #femslash saturday

[dalekofchaos]

The incompetence of The Resistance and The First Order in The Last Jedi

The Last Jedi, I am 50/50 on. But my problem is the baffling decisions with The tactics of both The Resistance and First Order. TLJ shows a lack of understanding for even the most basic military operations.

I’ve gone to explain why The First Order is incompetent in general a few years ago. Now I will go on to explain why both parties are incompetent. Also see here why Poe’s actions were justified and Holdo’s petty behavior did more to damage The Resistance than the actual fascists pursuing their deaths

Both parties make baffling decisions that show neither knows how to conduct warfare in the established rules of the Star Wars universe. To name a few examples

Hux is goaded into allowing a Starfighter into point blank range with one of their fleet’s more valuable assets, he doesn’t launch a fighter screen to keep that fighter at bay, and when a real danger is detected, still does nothing. Captain Canady is left to launch his own fighters from Fulminatrix, and gets no support from Hux or the rest of the First Order fleet. Hux doesn’t launch support fighters, direct their batteries to put up defensive fire covering the dreadnought, nothing, no he’s too busy massaging his bruised ego because some flyboy put him on tilt with what amounts to a practical joke, and an 8km long warship pays the price for Hux’s incompetence.

The Resistance utilizes bombers that are vastly inferior to ones their predecessors have used in past films.

Poe's single X-Wing is able to take out every single gun on a massive capital ship containing hundreds of enemy soldiers before any TIE Fighters are deployed.

Leia orders The Resistance bombers to turn around when they are halfway to their target, even though they are so slow and vulnerable that at that point, they would easily be destroyed if they tried to abandon their mission.

Even after destroying The Dreadnought, which saves The ENTIRE Resistance(as the Dreadnought would have been able to easily destroy The Resistance Fleet during the ensuing slow chase), Poe is reprimanded by Leia despite her terrible command decision, and the movie tries to portray her as being in the right.

The First Order ships chase The Resistance at normal speed instead of simply having some jump ahead of The Resistance fleet to cut them off, which could have singlehandedly ended the movie at any time.

And now onto the chase, or as I like to call it “the dumbest bit of military nonsense since the Emu war.” You have the First Order Fleet chasing the Resistance flotilla, supposedly the Resistance fleet is “faster” but they aren’t opening the gap between them and the First Order because… it would burn more fuel (because inertia isn’t a thing in Star Wars Space)? So they stay just at the extreme range of the First Order’s guns, and the Raddus has to be on the receiving end of a potshot every once in a while. Meanwhile said Resistance ships are flying in a straight line, direct away from the First Order fleet, so why not just set course past them and Hyperspace in front of them and catch them in the middle? Are interdictors at play here? Are they content to just think the fleet will run out of fuel and they can just catch them? It bothers me to understand that the heroes are only alive because of the gross incompetence of the First Order, because it doesn’t speak well to the capabilities of the heroes.

The Resistance is shown to have hyperspace-capable ships on board their capital ship, but does not use them to go secure more fuel or make multiple trips to evacuate small groups of people at a time, instead using one for the Canto Bight sequence.

Holdo didn’t just keep Poe in the dark, she kept the ENTIRE RESISTANCE in the dark.

Holdo refuses to tell Poe, the second-highest-rankng Resistance official present, that she even has a plan, let alone details of it, even after he and many others rightfully express their concerns.

Holdo still refuses to tell Poe her plan when he and many others mutiny, at which point she has every reason to believe that everyone on board that ship will die if Poe goes through with his own plan.

Connix assisted in Poe’s mutiny and she is  the “ultimate authority” on carrying out a retreat. Why was she not told about the plan? Her position and placement on the bridge next to Holdo is pretty “need to know”.

Holdo plans to have The Resistance flee to Crait in escape pods that are easily detectable and shot down, and then waits until many of them have been destroyed before resorting to the hyperspace jump maneuver.

And, most egregiously of all, the hyperspace maneuver itself, whereby all of star wars combat is irrevocably altered by Johnson's inclusion of a devastatingly effective technique that has never been possible in the lore up until this point.

So now the Resistance is stuck on Crait, the First Order knows they are there, we know implicitly that the First Order has more than one dreadnought in their fleet, we also know the Resistance is fresh out of bombers. Maybe instead of calling for a costly ground invasion just call in another dreadnought or unleash your Star Destroyers for an orbital bombardment of Crait and finish the job once and for all. This isn’t next level thinking, this isn’t superior tactics. This is using a rock to smash a bug levels of thinking. But they don’t, they land a ground invasion bigger than Hoth and bring a mini Death Star with them because they just had to have a copy of Empire didn’t they? Note again, that while Hoth was defended by more men with better equipment, Crait is defended by a quarter as many with rusting, dilapidated equipment… but it was enough to keep the Order stalled for Luke Skywalker to video-conference in.

Failure to Blockade and Control the Theater of Operations. But more on the invasion, there is apparently no fleet around Crait, no blockade, no nothing, because the Millennium Falcon is allowed to enter the planet and escape completely unhindered and unchased by the First Order with the remaining resistance fighters aboard. Yeah, you read that right, the Resistance can now fit on the Falcon, but no, they didn’t lose, they live to fight another day, by the grace of the Order’s incompetence.

#Anti TLJ #Poe Dameron #Leia Organa #General Armitage Hux #Armitage Hux #Anti Holdo #The First Order #The Resistance