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#tag: vent
lastoneout · 5 months
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Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.
Edit: If everyone could please take a minute and think about what it must feel like to be struggling and then have multiple strangers say to your face that they find the prospect of going through what you're going through so horrifying that they'd rather kill themselves and then stop leaving comments like that I would greatly appreciate it.
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kuchipatch1 · 4 months
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yall have got to be more normal about Southern people and I'm not kidding. enough of the Sweet Home Alabama incest jokes, enough of the idea that all Southerners are bigots and rednecks, and enough of the idea that the South has bad food. shut up about "trailer trash" and our accents and our hobbies!
do yall know how fucking nauseating it is to hear people only bring up my state to make jokes about people in poverty and incestuous relationships? how much shame I feel that I wasn't born up north like the Good Queers and Good Leftists with all the Civilised Folk with actual houses instead of small cramped trailers that have paper thin walls that I know won't protect me in a bad enough storm?
do yall know how frustrating it is to be trans in a place that wants to kill you and whenever you bring it up to people they say "well just move out" instead of sympathizing with you or offering help?
do yall understand how alienating it is to see huge masterposts of queer and mental health resources but none of them are in your state because theyre all up north? and nobody seems to want to fix this glaring issue because "they're all hicks anyways"
Southern people deserve better. we deserve to be taken seriously and given a voice in the queer community and the mental health space and leftist talks in general.
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reikacchan · 1 year
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don't give up
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cupcakeshakesnake · 10 months
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It took me too long to realize that not all the world is my enemy
[ID: A comic done mostly in black and white. A hound with a broken chain around its neck flees a cage and runs into two reaching hands. The hound bites one hand, drawing blood. Narration says, "When I fled my cage / I bit the hands that took me in / Because the only hand I'd ever known / was a bad one."
The hands, now with fresh bite marks, still reach out gently to the hound. ""We're not him." they said / and I knew what they meant / but I didn't understand."
Floating in white space: "Now I understand / but the damage is done."
A person enters a door, rolling a suitcase, saying "Hi" to two people on a couch, who look up from their newspapers and phones to say "Hey" and "Hi" back. The shadow of the person who entered the room stretches out before them-- a hound's, not a person's. Narration: "I'm so sorry / I couldn't help it / I couldn't help myself."
We see the hands of the people on the couch. Both have faded bite marks on them. "I was so blind, I forgot / that not all hands are made of iron." End ID]
(ID by @princess-of-purple-prose)
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thediktatortot · 2 years
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Not people saying “Fandom has always been like this” in that vent post I made. No. It hasn’t always been like this. Fandom has NEVER been like this until recently and if you were in fandom pre-tumblr purge, pre-twitter, pre-netflix boom, pre-tiktok....then you would fucking know it was nothing like this.
We still had the drive to create. We still sold prints and charms and made zines...but it was never like this.
The introduction of streaming, binge shows that drop all at once, tiktok and vine RIP i still love u vine but you were the beginning of a particularly ugly era) creating this bite sized, quick paced ‘content’ era of creation and it bled out into fucking everything else.
Fandoms didn’t die down when the show ended or the season was over. You didn’t mass unfollow artist, writers or moots just because they changed fandoms. There wasn’t this need to please the algorithm in order for your posts to get seen by people and enjoyed.
Fandoms used to last YEARS. Star Trek is literally the oldest running fandom out there and you got people in there that could care less about the new stuff and still have been happily prancing through their fucking fifty year old fandom today. Hell, even SPN after all it’s fuckups and shitshows has a dedicated fanbase STILL creating tons of art and fic.
There is no patience anymore. No calm feeling of taking in fandom and friends at a pace that which doesn’t make you stressed and is still fun.
Do I blame fandom for this? Of course not, but people are complacent with it and start changing their vocab to accommodate and end up making the situation so deep it cant be fixed.
We call Art & Fic Content now, completely stripping the value of what it is to a level of consumerism instead of personal entertainment & community bonding.
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borderlinejackiee · 5 months
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inkskinned · 2 years
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fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.
hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.
hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy
hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it
hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently
hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love
horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho
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chainmail-butch · 2 months
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We (The Panthers) were out doing food distribution yesterday and there was a homeless trans woman with cerebral palsy.
And just. Fuck me, man. It was all we could do to get her some estrogen. We gave her some razors but like. Can she even use them?
It felt more personal. Here was one of my sisters at the lowest she could possibly be and there was nothing I could fucking do.
I haven't been able to get her out of my mind.
She couldn't speak. She was terrified of men. She was on the corner begging for cigarettes. There was a smear going down her cheek from where she had applied her lipstick. She started crying when she saw another black transwoman. When she held me I could feel her drowning.
Fuck.
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muggle-born-princess · 6 months
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Reblog if you're LGBT and are against MAPS/Child Groomers
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prettyonthe1nside · 7 months
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having terrible graphic intrusive thoughts all by yourself gorgeous?
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fuckingwhateverdude · 4 months
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12.17.23
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mirroringshards · 3 months
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cute bpd things!!
paranoia
*small inconvenience* BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP
yeah im fine lol look at this meme :D
paranoia
mood depending on them
every text hurts or feels way too good
intrusive thought yeouch okay ouch thats another one yeOOUCH
the 50000+ articles on how youre abusive
paranoia
fp is bad for me but its ok i love them<3
"if i hurt someone its gonna be myself"
becoming completely obsessed with someone the moment they give you the slightest attention
never being able to cut anyone off ever. immediately go running back
cry because theyre talking to someone that IS NOT ME
oh my fp isnt here. okay. oh im dissociating okay i dont have any purpose to continue living without them okay my life literally revolves around them i want to die where are they are they safe i dont know what to do with myself
"just leave. everyone does anyways"
5 minutes later theyre the worst person ever
*looking for an identity* hmmm, where could it be?
dependent on fp like theyre a parental figure you never had
paranoia
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I'm a bit tired of people calling asexuality 'not a big deal.'
Here's the thing, I never thought it was a big deal either. I didn't have a big angsty coming out about being aro or being ace. It was difficult in a sense to think of the future I'd imagined for myself not coming true, but I didn't mourn that future. I was happy that there were others out there feeling what I was feeling and going through what I was going through.
But it's become a big deal. It's become a big deal because as I have grown older, I have realised the future is still fucking blurry. I have no idea what to expect from it. Society was not built for those who do not or cannot follow its rules. I've realised just how MUCH people say aphobic stuff on a daily basis. I feel constantly othered by comments that carelessly remind us we are out of the majority. That remind us again and again that we are NOT the norm and will never BE the norm. I rarely see myself on TV and in books and in movies. People feel weird about it, so they just never bring it up like an unspoken secret. I'm constantly doubted and told I'm mistaken about my own identity, which causes anxiety and self doubt so many years later. People make a variety of assumptions about me and tell me it's 'sad' and I'm 'missing out.'
It's not just about 'not having sex.' It's about feeling like you're the only one at a concert that doesn't know the words. it about society making you feel like you're just a little bit off. My sexuality/romantic identity doesn't define me. I don't WANT it to be a big deal.
But it is. It is a big deal because all of you make it a big deal.
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I genuinely mourn the person I could have been.
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borderlinejackiee · 5 months
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emsleyanbluejay · 1 year
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“forcing people to use the restroom of the sex they were assigned at birth is stupid because it’s going to force trans men into women’s restrooms where they’ll make cis women feel unsafe because they look like men” fucking shut up.
i don’t care. i don’t care about cis women feeling uncomfortable with trans men in “women’s spaces.” i could not care less about cis women’s feelings on the matter.
i care about the transmascs at risk of abuse and assault because of being forced into women’s restrooms. i care about the transmascs and butches and intersex people being put in danger because of these bills. i care about the fact that people who supposedly care about me and my transmasc and butch and intersex siblings are glossing over that cis women are just as capable of violence as anyone else, that we can, and have been, and will be assaulted by them because we’re “stepping out of line.”
i don’t want to hear about us being “safer.” i don’t want to hear about the poor cis women’s feelings, and i especially don’t want to hear it from other transmascs.
you don’t know what you’re talking about. do us both a favor and shut. up.
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