#take all my fuckin money

[areyousanta]

I swear I might lose it.

#stfusanta #im gonna start getting my things ready to leave #my parents were all #yeah you can move back in until you can figure things out! #now its constant comments about me leaving #when no comments are directed at my brother #who has been living at home for 5 fuckin years without them making him do anything #nothing #no job #not tried to go back to school #he doesnt even leave the house to do anything #but god forbid me take a year to figure out where i want to go from here #and ive figured it out!! #im taking an emt course since ive wanted to do it for years #and i make money from commissions on the side #but im the bad one #their shitty embarrassment #im gonna do this emt course and get my certification #and then im fucking gone and not coming back

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything

Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds

#like. i went out earlier to get bread #just bread bc we cant afford anything else #got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like #our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off #and it usually wont switch off over weekends #presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway #so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday. #but then itll be at least a tenner in debt #then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is #or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing #and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days #we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen #like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its. #its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in #and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel #and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me #but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change. #whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness #tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s #like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but #dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon

[kcyars189]

#Keke Palmer #keke #please dump his ass! #just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you can’t dress sexy #and no one should be with someone who thinks they can judge and dictate how you dress #and shame you online #keke palmer #twitter #pls dump him #the fact he didn’t do it in private if he had a problem is a 🚩 #also the fact that he expects her to do what meets HIS standards for HIS reputation #View post #dump his ass #i've met people who think once you're in a relationship you aren't allowed to show off your body anymore #what kind of bullshit is that #my thoughts exactly #get his money up and not his funny up AHAHAHAHAHAHA #either way they are all in the wrong the deeper you go into this story #it's bad on all fronts and i feel sorry for no one #honestly you're keke fuckin palmer you don't gotta take this from NOBODY #DUMP THIS BUM #WHO EVEN IS DARIUS DAULTON #He should kill himself #if you cant handle a bad bitch DONT DATE THEM

[cyarsk5230]

He knows she could walk into any room and have any man she wanted and she’s going home with him. Mature,secure, and loving makes a man sexy AF.

#Keke Palmer #keke #please dump his ass! #just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you can’t dress sexy #and no one should be with someone who thinks they can judge and dictate how you dress #and shame you online #keke palmer #twitter #pls dump him #the fact he didn’t do it in private if he had a problem is a 🚩 #also the fact that he expects her to do what meets HIS standards for HIS reputation #View post #dump his ass #i've met people who think once you're in a relationship you aren't allowed to show off your body anymore #what kind of bullshit is that #my thoughts exactly #get his money up and not his funny up AHAHAHAHAHAHA #either way they are all in the wrong the deeper you go into this story #it's bad on all fronts and i feel sorry for no one #honestly you're keke fuckin palmer you don't gotta take this from NOBODY #DUMP THIS BUM #WHO EVEN IS DARIUS DAULTON #He should kill himself #if you cant handle a bad bitch DONT DATE THEM

[lupismaris]

My therapists keep telling me to stop othering myself and I'm trying but it's really fuckin hard when I'm being othered

#i get im spending a lot of time with fellow audhd and on the spectrum queers i do and i get that means compassion and empathy #is potentially going to be lacking in some ways because they are learned behaviors that do not come naturally or at all #but for all the effort i put in to getting over the sense of being 'othered' and 'the outsider' some of them do a damn good job #just nerfing the work ive done with a lot of carelessness #if you're doing a group pool of money for a gift and i offer you cash dont single me out!! as the only one!! who doesn't need to pay!! #because its cash not venmo. like regardless of the implications of it its fuckin humiliating to be singled out in a GROUP CHAT #no matter how nice you try to make it if you're ultimately saying you dont want my money #dont cut me off and cut me out at practice because you're insecure and dont want to take advice from someone who isnt a coach #don't cut me out because im one of the only people who likes and exhibits masculinity in a way you dislike. #like. how am i supposed to feel? other than humiliated and exhausted and pissed off when someone else's bullshit #is constantly overrunning everything else and everyone else #tbd im sick and i need to do my tshot and i dont want to go to practice today . this teammate sends off kill bill sirens i stg

[anotherpapercut]

hey what do you do about the intense feelings of dread and anxiety when you think about getting a college degree and also when you think about the alternative (not getting a degree)

#literally wish so bad i had parents i could live with. i feel like it would make this all feel more doable if i wasn't like #also worrying about making enough money #um anyway i was offered a promotion at one of my jobs but it would mean coming in an extra day and working more hours #and this is my first time taking classes in a while and its just been difficult to keep up w everything already #but the job seems really cool. and pays more #and like i could do less than full time school but its already gonna take me at least 3 years going full time #and im fuckin 24 im already older than half the people in my classes im afraid to be 30 and still unable to pursue the field i wanna pursue #not that thats old or anything i just. im ready to move on with my life. i want to move away so fucking bad #and i dont see many ways to do that without at least a bachelors

[cyarsk52-20]

#Keke Palmer #keke #please dump his ass! #just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you can’t dress sexy #and no one should be with someone who thinks they can judge and dictate how you dress #and shame you online #keke palmer #twitter #pls dump him #the fact he didn’t do it in private if he had a problem is a 🚩 #also the fact that he expects her to do what meets HIS standards for HIS reputation #View post #dump his ass #i've met people who think once you're in a relationship you aren't allowed to show off your body anymore #what kind of bullshit is that #my thoughts exactly #get his money up and not his funny up AHAHAHAHAHAHA #either way they are all in the wrong the deeper you go into this story #it's bad on all fronts and i feel sorry for no one #honestly you're keke fuckin palmer you don't gotta take this from NOBODY #DUMP THIS BUM #WHO EVEN IS DARIUS DAULTON #He should kill himself #if you cant handle a bad bitch DONT DATE THEM

[im2tired4usernames]

They stole any possible joy of motherhood I could have possibly wanted they stole my entire childhood they stole my teenage years my twenties and they continue to steal my future they won't be happy untill they've taken my whole life

#i hope your in fuckin hell you ugly cultist bitch i hope your getting what you deserve dad i hope karma hits you #i hope all your children grow up to hate you #quiverfull parents are monsters and they all deserve a place in hell #i hope my next life is that is a thing i get freedom and respect in my life #i hope they get a say in their life snd are well loved well rested and happy #im tired of being alive im so fuckin tired of my life #i cant die because there's wo many people who depend on me but fuck life sucks and it really is 100 because of my parents #i wish my future was actually reachable #i wish people would stop using me #i love my siblings i love spending time and caring for them #but i look at all my other siblings and my dad who fits in dates multiple times a week #who get jobs that pay that they enjoy they get hobbies they are responsible for themselves and only themselves they are starting families #they're getting to experience what it's like to be allowed to be a teen a 20 something a fuckin human person they go to concerts they sleep #when theyre tired they use their money for their own bills and wants and needs they get to go do things with they're partners as often as #they'd like to they get to EXPERIENCE LIFE WHILE I TAKE ON ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY #i want to be able to move in with my partner go in dates do things with friends get married write books draw get a job #i want to grow and change #they get to experience young adult life i get the adult responsibility but not the life experience or world knowledge or wisdom #I'm supposed to be the friendless sexless constant caretaker whos hobbies are dishes and vacuuming #that being said i cant make a future if no one is willing to make a move i cant be the only person trying to grow up #this includes my partner my siblings my dad they all need to make steps for our goals or we'll be stuck in a stagnant bullshit of 'someday' #constantly daydreamin about a future that'll never come i need to start making steps for it and i need other people to start making steps to #gwt ready to start growing up I'm not goin to let people keep holding me back forever my life is goin to fucking change or I'm goin to die

[ghostickle]

Love having to help hold everyone else’s lives together but the second I’m struggling and need help then I’m too needy and being a problem

#god just once I want what I put into a person given back in return #I schedule and plan everything I make meals for everyone and drive people around #my whole life it’d always be my job to clean my brothers room and even now I’m the one that keeps others shit clean instead of themselves #and I really wouldn’t mind if any of it was returned #or at the very least don’t make me feel like shit #or like I give people rides but don’t get gas money and I make meals but no help paying for the groceries to make the food #and I can’t afford to sustain myself much less someone else #and I’m so tired #I work all the fuckin time #just once I want to get off and relax and not have to go and take care of a whole ass adult who’ll throw a fit if I dare say I’m hungry #or get mad at me when I run out of energy when I’m going non stop #ghost rambles #hh I’ll have some time to myself tomorrow morning before my blood tests at least #before I have to go home after and prepare for a taco night with friends #gonna go wander target I still have a gift card and maybe get a new piercing #I am excited for tacos and games with my friends I’m just so tired and tomorrow morning is my only break for the next week #I have so many appointments coming up and I picked up extra shifts

[senselessalchemist]

Been so busy with work I forgot to be depressed about holidays. Luckily I fixed that by getting off work early today

This helped tho

#big collector re: the beheaded being a nuisance vibes #which is why it helped because shit man its been like 3 years? and still have the good ol dead cells hyperfixation #happy almost anniversary for my first dead cells fic #anyway yeah im depressed and ive listened to all my comfort listens multiple times this year already #so i dunno what im gonna do to stave off bleak despair #maybe draw something? maybe draw something #i dont have a holiday comic this year #just no energy after work and i cant take the laptop and tablet on the train #sad but also i need fuckin money to live so #i am also going to make very untraditional cornish pasties #beef and not lamb and no parsnips because lamb is fucking expensive and i just didnt want to buy parsnips #hope all yalls holidays are happier than mine! #sincerely and honestly i really just want other people to be content and safe and to find a place in the world that fulfills them #anyway peace im gonna fall asleep in the bath and wreck my phone lmao

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Hhhhhh

I'm. Not angry bc that's not remotely fair but frustrated

Alfie used all the cash we had on hand to get more weed, which I knew was on the table and they really needed it for pain relief but like. Now I have 20 quid in the bank and we need food and electricity. Like we can get one or the other and they're asleep for work rn and I don't feel comfortable making that decision on my own but I'll be real I'm also feeling pretty rough getting one meal a day

#still better than the alternativr where k was basicslly getting the same #im just. hangry #and stressed bc j know a new birth certificate is also like 20 quid #and i dont get paid till i have that #i just. ugh. #its shit!!! its not like we're being irresponsible! we were really careful ablut gettung food we could prepare meals with and freeze #but even that only lasts a week or so if we use one a day #and its fucked up that it makes me regret taking my sister for lunch one time #i dont remember the last time i bought myself anything #things are supposed to be easier nowci have a job offer but god thats a whole other rant #about how job seeking is already a full time job and they basically ask for the same info you already applied with once you grt the job #bc god forbid they waste time/money paying someone to collate information #im just. ugh im so tired #and feel like a fuckin parasite bc i barely leave the house and just sit around doing my own thing all day #bc im not ALLOWED to do the thing thst would earn us money yet #its a vicious catch 22

[kcyars189]

#Keke Palmer #keke #please dump his ass! #just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you can’t dress sexy #and no one should be with someone who thinks they can judge and dictate how you dress #and shame you online #keke palmer #twitter #pls dump him #the fact he didn’t do it in private if he had a problem is a 🚩 #also the fact that he expects her to do what meets HIS standards for HIS reputation #View post #dump his ass #i've met people who think once you're in a relationship you aren't allowed to show off your body anymore #what kind of bullshit is that #my thoughts exactly #get his money up and not his funny up AHAHAHAHAHAHA #either way they are all in the wrong the deeper you go into this story #it's bad on all fronts and i feel sorry for no one #honestly you're keke fuckin palmer you don't gotta take this from NOBODY #DUMP THIS BUM #WHO EVEN IS DARIUS DAULTON #He should kill himself #if you cant handle a bad bitch DONT DATE THEM

[todayisafridaynight]

damnnn was thinking of minedai and i think someone started cutting onions in my room haha

thinking about minedai always starts off like 'haha lmao mine so silly so silly yandere who would cry if daigo told him he was happy to have him as a friend' and then it quickly devolves into 'mine and daigo were both incredibly lonely people growing up one way or another, neither of them feeling as though they had a genuine relationship with someone until meeting each other' and then i throw up and cry

#snap chats #in mines case due to his status as an orphan he was just branded as an outcast by society #i mean his personability and his cynical others-favor-materialism ideology also fucked him over but yk. people like kanda didnt help #on the flip side there's daigo who- as the son of a yakuza boss and as a certified Rich Kid making friends wasnt easy #either people were scared of him or his dad or people only hung out with him for his family's name and money #and i know i just posted a rant bout it but ill briefly mention it again just for the sake of this post #but then theres losing the one person he felt he could genuinely trust after he takes the fall for killing his dad #ironic isnt it: mine was earnest in wanting relationships yet was terrible at getting them #meanwhile daigo had a natural talent for drawing people towards him but just couldnt find himself to totally trust them anymore #early 2000's era anyway- evidently he gets better #and instead of it being solely a trust issue its more of a matter of 'do people like me for me or because im their boss' #and then they find each other and its like a k-drama where daigo gets shot for mine after trying to pay off the people fuckin with them #slow mo and all. in my head anyway #wow i love them.....

[cyarsk5230]

He brought it online and now we are involved 😭

#Keke Palmer #keke #please dump his ass! #just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you can’t dress sexy #and no one should be with someone who thinks they can judge and dictate how you dress #and shame you online #keke palmer #twitter #pls dump him #the fact he didn’t do it in private if he had a problem is a 🚩 #also the fact that he expects her to do what meets HIS standards for HIS reputation #View post #dump his ass #i've met people who think once you're in a relationship you aren't allowed to show off your body anymore #what kind of bullshit is that #my thoughts exactly #get his money up and not his funny up AHAHAHAHAHAHA #either way they are all in the wrong the deeper you go into this story #it's bad on all fronts and i feel sorry for no one #honestly you're keke fuckin palmer you don't gotta take this from NOBODY #DUMP THIS BUM #WHO EVEN IS DARIUS DAULTON #He should kill himself #if you cant handle a bad bitch DONT DATE THEM

[unearthlydream]

I’m having such a fun lil thought spiral today. Today has been going so well and I’m totally okay and fine and normal about it :,)

#I’m not aching I’m not aching everything is fine #I was so ready to take on this week and my mom has me changing plans and now I have to #take even more time off of work when I have so much to do. I have so fucking much to do and I wanna kms about it #I wish I could just quit my job but I can’t afford to without having a backup #I can barely afford to live as-is bc my household relies on me so heavily #I solely find groceries and weed and basically anything we need that isn’t a $20 purchase and I’m so tired. #and even when I ask for help supporting things it’s usually sorry I’m broke I don’t have money #my roommate has more fucking K-pop books than I have dollars in my bank account but she can’t help give me money for gas or groceries #I’m so tired I’m so sick Rickey I’m shattered and I want to cut someone but I know I shouldn’t #I just want to light a building on fire #bc simultaneously we are collectively ignoring a genocide and I’m so fuckin stuck like how am I supposed to keep living when all of this i #happening like why am I at work when bitches don’t even have clean water I should be terrorizing my local polaticians and s #doing literally anything else I’m so fucked it’s fucked fucks fucked #but ya know…. staff meeting at 2pm !!!!!! #personal

[urlocalbitchboy]

Is it just me or did the ads on tumblr get like... worse

#like theyre showing up for me every two posts #and its all pretty personally disturbing/uncomfortable content too #i dont have money to pay to go ad free and like its soooooo much worse than its ever been the app is damn near unusable #i know my app updated a couple days ago idk if it was that or not but like #i cant take this anymore yall its fuckin bad #just moments with mikky