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azaracyy · 3 months

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to the next stage of our adventure! digimon survive week 2024 day 7: post-game / future personal thoughts under the cut - less about the artwork and more about shuuji and lopmon themselves. a long rambling containing major spoilers and heavy topics. will cause whiplash. proceed with caution.

other than the fact this may be boring and long-winded, cw and tw: there will be mentions of self-harm and suicide. if these topics make you uncomfortable, please step back. if you're sure, then alright. i'm aware this is a weird place to ramble about shuuji and lopmon considering the notorious highlight of their story would match the themes of day 5 (villains) and day 6 (dark & loss) better. unfortunately (ironically?) i never planned to feature them for those days, so... pretty sure i'm not the only one feeling this, but when i discovered that a good part of the fandom seems to loathe shuuji with utmost passion, even after they claimed to have completed the game, i was confused. the way his death happened and (understanding) the cause made me uncomfortable for a while, but never drove me to the point of hate... once i recovered from the initial shock, what i felt towards him was more pity, then respect (on truthful route). i feel shuuji should have been one of the most appreciated characters in survive. yet it was the opposite that happened. (between you and me though, knowing there was this discourse with the fact digimon survive is a visual novel, i'm not that surprised it turned out this way...) from my point of view, lopmon evolving into wendimon then killing shuuji symbolizes suicide, the act of taking one's own life. it was the climax of shuuji's mental breakdown, leading him to basically self-destruct, causing damage to everyone around him and ultimately himself. lopmon evolved, just like he hoped. but failed to do it like other kemonogami partners (maintaining control of themselves and fending off enemies). the next and final outcome was death, through his own partner actually eating him alive too. it reminds me how when someone thought they have prepared well for something important yet it failed spectacularly, the devastation and frustration would eat them in the same way from inside. and they probably would for one second think, "i'm better off dead". the more i pondered about it, the more it hit home, so of course, the last thing i could do is hate him, when his struggles sound similar to my own - having to rely on consistent achievements to prove your value, to feel you are worth living and not a waste of resources. the part where shuuji went all abusive on lopmon felt like the equivalent of pushing yourself to the extreme to reach your goal, to the point of neglecting your own needs. it's like a student so absorbed in their study, sacrificing food and sleep, until their body eventually snaps and shuts down for good (...this in fact happened to one of the students at my previous workplace. she was in her last year of high school. life was just about to truly start for her when her classmate informed us of her sudden death). even in truthful route where shuuji and lopmon survive that point, things aren't immediately nice and easy for him. you can see that he still has self-doubts, and what i think is impostor's syndrome. he could be making a great contribution to the team and still put himself down for having done "nothing". i have found it interesting that artists and writers tend to be especially fond of shuuji. so perhaps it's not just the matter of one's upbringing - whether you were raised in a harsh, competitive environment and/or with family with (unreasonably) high standards so you can relate more easily to him - but also whether one can see just what every struggle shuuji and lopmon went through symbolizes shuuji's mental state. out of all survive characters, i think shuuji and lopmon pulled off this thing called "surviving" the hardest, no joke. which is why i almost always gravitate to drawing them happy because that's what they deserve :') after all this, what i also would like to say is, it's okay if a character makes you uncomfortable. it's okay if you hate a character. but never, ever bring down the character to people who like them or even consider them their favorite or comfort character. if you must, do it in your own space and only with like-minded people.

#digimon #digimon survive #shuuji kayama #lopmon #survive week #survive week 2024 #obligatory shuuji-focused post where i make myself go a bit ✨ extra ✨#sorry for the long rambling tho i just thought i never had the chance to put this in words and this time i really want to do it #thanks for being patient with me :')#so i didnt manage to post for all days after all but i still have the ideas and sketches #if i ever finish them i will post and tag #if we have another survive week next year i hope i can actually prepare early so i could just schedule posts like a boss #then enjoy every submission without having to worry about finishing my next one #back to commissions starting tomorrow o7 updated my vgen listings recently so feel free to look around if you'd like #let's keep surviving y'alls #png

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silverwhittlingknife · 2 years

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In issue # 110 of Nightwing (1996), why did Dick look irritated (and clench his fist) when Tim told him that Bruce considered adoption (which Tim rejected obvs), especially since Tim's dad was killed (and Dick knows that)?

ANON YOU HAVE ASKED ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE ISSUES OF NIGHTWING OF ALL TIME <333

Very short answer: it's the trauma

So the thing is, this is a heartbreaking issue that requires a lot of footnoting, because the emotional undercurrents are BIG and POWERFUL but the dialogue is deliberately understated?? and Dick and Tim are often not saying what they mean?? or just straight-up lying to each other?? and they're TALKING PAST EACH OTHER because

they both suck at communication

they are not even TRYING to communicate their actual problems - like, if Tim straight-up said, "A bunch of people I love are dead and I keep having nightmares about how it's my fault and I'm guilty and miserable and lonely and avoiding Bruce and I came to your city because I was reeling and I missed you and I didn't know what else to do and now I'm scared you're mad at me," that would crack through Dick's determination to keep his distance because Dick's whole thing here is based on the conviction that Tim is fine, but of course Tim doesn't say any of that, and Dick can't read his mind. And Dick's not quite as determined a liar as Tim so Tim is able to figure out a little more of what's going on with Dick vis-a-vis insecurities, but Tim's still completely missing what a colossal mess Dick is right now, and again: this is because he's not a mind-reader and Dick doesn't tell him! And doesn't want to tell him! And doesn't want him to know! So Tim thinks that Dick's maybe acting this way because he's mad at Tim, and he tries to solve the problem from that angle, even though that's not at all what's going on and actually Dick's miserable and traumatized and mad at himself

I love it so much

So the short-ish answer to your question is, Tim's correctly guessed at some of Dick's insecurities here. Dick's not mad that Tim's in the city, but Tim's right that the adoption was a big deal to Dick, and he's right that Dick's a little threatened by the idea of Tim getting adopted too. (This wouldn't normally be the case! But Dick was kinda uneasy about Tim in the early days when his own relationship to Bruce felt very shaky, and right now Dick's feeling like he's lost Bruce again, and when he's insecure about himself he tends to slide into seeing Tim as a rival - both in vigilante terms and in terms of a connection to Bruce.)

And probably the main reason Dick's so stunned - and a bit angry - here is because Bruce didn't tell him, and although this is very different from Bruce not telling him about adopting Jason... it's still jabbing at those old wounds.

BUT THE LONGER ANSWER is important! Dick loves Tim, a lot!! SO MUCH. He watches Tim sadly from a distance and thinks about how much he loves him in this very comic! So why isn't Dick more enthusiastic about the potential adoption? Why is he skulking around in alleys being miserable and self-destructive and avoiding Tim so determinedly that Tim's convinced he's offended Dick somehow? What's going on???

Well, Dick's life has been imploding.

So to really answer your question, we have to back up a bit and get the context of what's going on with Dick and Tim prior to this comic.

I started writing about this and it got way out of hand, so below please find a guide to my four-part manifesto about Nightwing 110 and what's going on and why I think it's great:

Background: Dick + Tim + Trauma Conga Lines

Background: War Games Aftermath

Nightwing 110

Fix-It Fic Ideas

rambling manifesto is below the cut

Background: Dick + Tim + Trauma Conga Lines

Images: a reporter is shot and killed in front of Dick in N 93; a few days later, Darla is shot and killed in front of Tim in R 129; a blood-covered Dick turns from Blockbuster's body in N 93; a blood-covered Tim stares at his father's body in IC 6

Timeline-wise, we're in The Bad Year for Dick and Tim. Dick's life has been FALLING APART. Blockbuster figured out his secret identity and started murdering his entire supporting cast: Blockbuster hired someone to attack Haly's Circus, blew up Dick's entire apartment building, and shot a reporter in front of Dick. In the climactic confrontation, Catalina Flores killed Blockbuster and raped Dick.

More or less simultaneously in War Games, Tim's life has ALSO been falling apart and his supporting cast has been getting gruesomely murdered. In quick succession, Jack figured out Tim's secret and Tim had to quit, Steph got hired and fired as Robin; Steph accidentally started a gang war; Darla got shot and killed in front of Tim during the gang war; Steph got killed by Black Mask; and Jack Drake got killed by Captain Boomerang.

It's a grimdark time in DC comics.

Background: War Games Aftermath

Dick's slowly recovering in the Manor as Bruce recaps recent events to him (Batman 634)

Now, Dick's actually part of War Games - very briefly. A day or two after Blockbuster's death, Bruce calls Dick for help, and Dick comes to Gotham. Dick and Tim briefly interact but Gotham is in flames, they're both freaking out, and they don't really help each other - Tim tries to tell Dick about Darla, and Dick shuts him down (not realizing Darla is actually Tim's friend); Dick has a panic attack in front of Tim and Tim drags him out of danger but gets snappish instead of worried.

AND THEN, midway through the gang war, Dick gets shot in the leg and ends up in a coma for a while. By the time he's recovered enough to wake up and walk around, Steph's dead, Jack's dead, the funerals are over, and Tim - who's avoiding Bruce - has moved to Blüdhaven.

Here's Dick trying to get answers out of Alfred in Nightwing 99 (Alfred and Bruce aren't telling him anything, either because they can't stand to talk about it or because they're worried about impeding his recovery):

Somewhere around here - presumably whenever he first learns about Jack's death? - Dick calls Tim, who doesn't pick up, in IC 7:

In Nightwing 99, it's implied that Dick leaves the Manor almost as soon as he wakes up, after confronting Bruce:

Dick can't bring himself to confess Blockbuster's death, but obliquely admits his own distress: "…Bruce, I'm lost." Bruce wants to solve things by throwing themselves into The Mission in Gotham: "It's just you and me again, Dick. But there's plenty of work to do." As he talks, Dick grabs his crutches and leaves. He confronts Catalina, arrests her, and tries to turn himself in... but Amy doesn't let him. As he's walking out, angry at Amy and at himself, a prisoner offers him a card.

Meanwhile, in the Batcave, Alfred's stunned to discover that Dick's abandoned his costume:

In Nightwing 107, we learn that Dick has ditched everything and apparently joined the mob - or is he undercover? Dick ultimately comes up with justifications for what he's doing, but a lot of what he's doing is punishing himself and hiding from his life. He's in Detroit for a while, but then has to go back to Blüdhaven, where he sees Tim...

...and now we're caught up with Nightwing 110.

Nightwing 110

I haven't had a chance to see Robin in action since the beginning of the gang wars in Gotham. It seems like just yesterday he was an earnest little computer geek too smart for his own good. He's still too smart for his own good and he can still kick butt with a search engine, but now he's a full-fledged superhero, to boot. Wonder if he knows how good he is? Not just at the fighting, but at keeping the whole thing on his terms. That's really hard to do, and Tim - he's been through so much, and weathered it so well.

Dick's been staying mostly in Detroit rather than Blüdhaven for various reasons, but one very important one is that he's been avoiding Tim.

Dick and Tim's relationship always suffers when Dick's self-worth issues get in the way, and this is probably the most dramatic moment AND IT'S SO SAAAAAD *wails*

From very early on, Dick has had a very high opinion of Tim, and - like Bruce's conviction that "you're better than me, Dick" - this is

very heartwarming and an expression of Dick's faith in Tim

very important to Tim, who tries really hard to impress Dick and (like Dick) hangs a lot of his self-worth on being needed and useful

a source of many sweet moments

but also

a source of problems in their relationship, because Dick's high opinion of Tim and low opinion of himself means he consistently underestimates how important he is to Tim, wonders if Tim would be better off without him, and sometimes thinks that keeping his distance is good for Tim so that Dick doesn't bring him down... and meanwhile Tim interprets Dick's distance as disapproval or hostility

When Dick's down on himself, he'll continually compare himself unfavorably to Tim - Tim questions more, Tim's better with Bruce, Tim's got better computer skills, etc. etc.

And that's what's happening here, when Dick watches Tim fight from a distance:

Dick: Still, Timmy played it through nice and clean. Disarmed the perps, protected and avoided the cops, kept any civilians from being shot... God, I love that kid. Too much to let him see me like this.

This isn't a neutral assessment of Tim's skills. This is Dick castigating himself. The implication is: Tim plays it nice and clean, Tim kept civilians from getting shot... unlike me. Elsewhere in this arc, Dick's been convinced that he's "poison."

He can't bear to see Tim because he's certain he'll only bring Tim down.

... There's a problem with his plan, though. Tim's spotted him.

Narrator voice: they were not okay

I LOVE THIS PANEL SO MUCH

Tim spots Dick before he can sneak away, and chases after him. At first he tries to tease light-heartedly - "Look at you! Back on your feet!" - but when Dick looks away grim-faced, Tim sobers and we get a bit more of his actual worries. (Tim will sometimes fake cheerfulness when under stress - both Babs and his friends comment on this in War Games and in Teen Titans.)

Now they catch up. Tim asks Dick if he's okay. (Dick says he is. He's not.) Where he's staying. ("Some people" are the mobster family.) Dick asks Tim how his step-mom is. (Tim says she's okay. She's not. She's had a breakdown.) How school's going. (Tim says school's okay too. Actually, he's dropped out.)

And now at last we've looped back to the panels at the top! Dick tries to retreat, and Tim - convinced that Dick is mad at him, which is really not the case - tries to figure out if Dick is mad at him for coming to Blüdhaven without permission, or about Bruce's offer of adoption. (Tim's self-worth issues mean that Tim's convinced that Dick is mad at him about something, as opposed to the truth, which is that Dick is spiraling and it has nothing to do with Tim.)

Dick (turning away): We - we shouldn't be talking like this. Tim (fake-cheer, acting as if Dick means "we shouldn't be talking with you in costume and me out-of-costume"): Well, go get your gear! Dick: I can't do that. Tim (more serious now): You're not mad I'm, like, in your city or anything? Dick (shocked): NO! No. I'm honored. You have more of a right to be here than I do. Tim: Is it the adoption thing? Dick: The what? Tim: 'Cause I was a little worried about that. That's kinda part of why I said no. I mean, that and the uncle thing. I was just thinking it wasn't really all that long since he officially adopted you, which was kind of a big deal, emotionally or whatever, and to me you're like totally his son and I don't wanna step on that or anything.

Dick (whirling): What are you talking about, Tim? Bruce is going to adopt you? Tim (hands up): No! I mean, he was. But he's not now. I've got this uncle… So I don't need, you know, anything really… from Bruce, or… You, uh. You didn't know. I'm sorry, I figured he would've talked to you about it or something. Dick (turning away, jumping off the balcony): Yeah, right. Fat chance. Tim: Well anyway, it's not gonna happen, so you don't have to worry about it... right?

Dick's unnerved by the adoption offer mostly because it drives home his distance from Bruce - he didn't know Bruce was offering this, and since Dick's been thinking of himself as Estranged from Everyone Forever, it feels like Tim joining Bruce's family - replacing Dick - instead of Tim joining Dick's family. So he reacts badly - EVEN THOUGH!!! AGAIN!!! DICK LOVES TIM A LOT!!!

So Dick emphasizes the distance he's trying to create: tells Tim that whatever he does is up to him and Bruce, not Dick, because Dick's withdrawing from everything. Actually, Tim should forget that he ever knew Dick:

Dick (pulls his hood up, turns away): Look, Timmy, I'm sorry. I don't care what he does. If he can be of help to you, you should take him up on it. I wish I could offer to help you myself, but I can't. I'm not part of this anymore. This whole thing… I'm out. Tim: Yeah, right… Dick: From now on, it'd be better if you forgot you ever knew me. Tim (echoing what Dick said): ...Fat chance.

Tim's hurt by this, and he's been pretty oblivious about what's going on with Dick, but he's not an idiot, and after a moment of hesitation he correctly figures out from this ramble what Dick's not saying, which is that Dick's feeling like he's worthless to Bruce, that Bruce doesn't value him, that he's lost that relationship. So Tim impulsively tries to reassure him that Bruce does need him... but Dick's in a lousy headspace and it doesn't work:

Dick's walking away. Tim chases after him again. Tim: Hey, uh-! Remember how I once told you that Batman needed a Robin? Well, that's still true, but even more than that, he…he needs you. You know, not like every second or whatever, but at the end of the day, he needs to know you're still on his side. It's…important. Dick kicks over a newspaper stand. Dick (glaring): YOU- ! - you have no idea how much of my life I've wasted believing that was true. Dick pulls up his hood again and walks away.

(Side-note: forever wonderful to me that both Dick and Tim use "need" as a synonym for "love." Issues: they have them.)

Fix-It Fic Ideas

I have spent a lot of time thinking about potential fix-it fics for this comic (TRAGICALLY AFAIK NO ONE HAS WRITTEN ANY, FEEL FREE TO BE THE FIRST). An idea that I offer free to a good home:

A bit after Dick leaves, Tim winds up in trouble and gets injured and Dick has to rescue him (how does Dick find out about it? I dunno)

Tim's injured so naturally Dick's gonna take him back to his home with his stepmom and/or uncle

. . . except the uncle is an actor and not a very convincing one; Tim's entire edifice of lies collapses

Dick realizes that Tim is not actually weathering things well

Dick still thinks that he's poison and terrible and awful and (insert self-hating monologue here) BUT Tim living on his own after his dad is murdered is so bad as far as Dick's concerned that clearly SOME kind of intervention is necessary

Tim insists he does not need an intervention

Dick's sense of responsibility and worry over Tim now force him to carve out time from his major project of hate-myself-and-feel-bad to try to look out for Tim

Dick insists that Tim stay with him until his stepmom is better

They share an apartment for a while

They are both still super-super-super traumatized

???

eventual hugs and healing on both sides

profit

Alternate fix-it:

Tim follows Dick back to the Tevis' house like the little stalker he is, and then introduces himself in disguise as Alvin Draper

Dick's furious and frustrated but can't do much about this without screwing up his own disguise

Tim's determined to figure out what's going on with Dick partly for altruistic reasons and partly because he's also running from his own life, but Dick doesn't figure out the second part until way later

Dick's so frustrated with Tim being here when Dick told him to go - plus wrapped up in wondering what Tim knows, and being paranoid about what he might figure out, and hating being observed - that it takes him a while to start wondering questions like, "wait, shouldn't Tim be in school"

Dick and Tim are pretending not to know each other - or pretending to have a hostile relationship, or something - so any real conversations have to be in snatches in secret

Dick tries to bluff/threaten Tim into leaving (for his own good!!) but it doesn't work

Slow crawl toward mutual awareness of trauma which they're both super-self-conscious about - Dick hears Tim crying at night; Tim hears Dick's nightmares or sees another panic attack

At some point it becomes increasingly obvious that they know each other / that their story about their relationship is fake, and when the mobsters confront them, Dick says yeah, he lied, actually Tim's his little brother, and he gives some kind of stylized version of the truth which doubles as an emotional speech to Tim who gets all choked up and hugs him

and it's very touching and emotional because remember Tim HASN'T been adopted so they're NOT brothers and Tim was worried maybe Dick didn't WANT to be brothers but Dick CONSIDERS him a brother so ;_;

??? i don't know what happens next. do they quit the mob? does Dick now explain his mob-infiltration plan to Tim?

meanwhile off-panel Bruce stops Deathstroke from blowing up Blüdhaven, well done Bruce

oh wait or maybe Cass does??

anyway Dick and Tim have hugged so then there's a happy ending

In Conclusion

IN CONCLUSION Dick and Tim should hug more and this comic proves it. Look at them! They both need hugs! They're standing so close to each other! THEY ARE MIRROR IMAGES OF TRAUMA AND BAD COPING MECHANISMS they need each other and they don't know how to say it - they want to help each other and they also don't know how to say it - they don't know how to talk to each other or to anyone else - Dick lashes out and Tim lies and they both isolate themselves and withdraw into depression loneliness even though they could help each other! and would want to help each other! but they won't ask for what they need because they don't think they deserve it and they don't realize how important they are to each other

i just think they're neat. i want to study them like bugs and rattle them around in a jar until all the masks come off and they can actually see each other clearly

#dick grayson #tim drake #dick & tim #long post #i LOVE this comic SO MUCH #the way they echo each other's phrases??#the miscommunication??#the tragedy??#the fact that underneath it all they both still love each other and they're TRYING??#ask tag #i know a lot of this wasn't really about your question anon but thank you for letting me ramble <33

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dayurno · 17 days

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what do u like about allison? not attacking u or anything she's just always fell flat to me and im open to enlightenment

shes funny to me :) i like that she's catty and entitled and insufferable, but that there are moments where it slips (namely grieving seth, but also offering herself up to be a confidante to neil, crumpling into renee after andrew hurts her) and we get to see that she's terrified of herself And others and that money could not buy her a sense of self nor a reasonable emotional framework. there are also small things about her that i just find endearing, like the few times where her and matt act like siblings (when the foxes get rained on and matt takes a picture of her looking soaked, much to her horror, and when jeremy shows the foxes his game plan for the semi finals and allison tugs incessantly at matts sleeve to let her see it) and her horrible betting problem, the way she knew neil caused seth's death but also knew she couldn't live her whole life with that grudge, her gossip habits, the way she desperately wants to fix everything with money (taking the foxes out to the cabins after neil got kidnapped always seemed like such an obvious attempt to soothe the team to me, but allison was not raised on affection and the only way she can conceive it is through what she can offer them in monetary terms + i'm reminded of the bit in the ec that allison keeps a trustfund for the foxes' children and that she pays for renee's child's medical bills) etc!

i do mean it when i say that allison and kevin are not all that different, and they have a very similar understanding (or lack thereof) of the way relationships work, but allison can be such a steorotype sometimes it's hard to allow ourselves to see her as anything but a tall hot glass of skank, whereas we naturally give kevin more nuance and space for humanity because we are taught to believe men are more capable of complexity than women. one of my favorite allison is kevin in a wig moments is the fact that allison's goal with seth ('to make a real man out of him', to give him something to live for, to make him want to achieve it) is exactly the same as kevin's goal with andrew

#asks #allison #i think this is all?#but yeah i feel like allison can be very misunderstood because at face value she's playing the role of heiress perfectly #and its well its not unlike kevin's exy robot bit is it #i think they are both people who have developed a very specific shield to protect them from the world outside #and just because allison's is easier to be around doesn't mean that she's not just as lonely as kevin at the end of the day #thank you for letting me ramble about her! made me remember how fond i am of this horrible woman

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vicsbasement · 1 month

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I think Carlos may have a soft spot for Charles and I'm not saying this because I ship them. Carlos is always so considerate and thoughtful with him and he always seems very attuned to his needs as well. I often think about Singapore last year, because that race was right after Monza and after Carlos' mother liked that tweet about Charles and honour; you could see there was a strange air surrounding them and Carlos was glued to Charles the whole weekend but in a very discreet manner, always making sure to give him enough space. He also didn't miss the opportunity to reassure Charles that he does like his teammate (during the fan meeting with the Alpine drivers) and you can see in the clip that Charles was visibly relieved. As for Charles, before the announcement (that's how we're gonna refer to it I guess) I too thought that Charles didn't care about Carlos as much as Carlos cares about him, but boy was I wrong… They both care about the other a whole lot and it will be hard to see them part ways at the end of the season

I'm with you on this 100%. You know, after the Monza incident there was so much speculation in fandom, and then Singapore happened and we were all like, running in circles because we thought Charles was furious. I even wrote a whole fic around it because I really felt the tension, and I wasn't the only one, the Monza thing awakened a lot of feelings in a lot of people 😂 But, funnily enough, it all went away soon after. Around that fan forum you mentioned and, for example, in COTA; they were all cozy around each other all over again. They were calling each other pet names, they did the lasso thing... I think they patched it all up right around Japan. I'm willing to bet Carlos apologized to Charles about his mother's faux pas. Because he's not his mother, and Charles knows this, but Carlos still wanted to make a point to apologize to him because it wasn't nice. Especially since both of them were very much enjoying their fight on track during Monza! I do believe that Carlos was a bit affronted but when he got out of the car and Charles was looking ecstatic, he just let it go. Immediately. He'd (we'd) never seen Charles behaving like that after a race, he was elated. Which shows us, once again, that Charles really loves Carlos as a teammate and as a competitor. He does see him as his ultimate rival, in the end what's the saying? Your teammate is your biggest competitor? And that's them. There's incredible amounts of respect between each other.

And they got closer, even, after COTA and after Qatar, I'm willing to bet. They looked so close in Mexico and Interlagos, and then Vegas... like the whole united front thing looked absolutely compelling and real. They were spending a lot of time off-track together, too. I think that after Monza, they had a lot of talks. Either about life or the team, (Charles does like to insist on telling us they talk about a lot more than work whenever they do spend time together off-track) and I firmly believe they reached a point in which their friendship bloomed. They probably found common ground somewhere and decided, well, if they fans are going to constantly pit us against each other, then let's show them how wrong they are. Unfortunately we didn't get much from Charles after Carlos got hurt during the Vegas practice, but still. He was close to Carlos. Very, very close, and they behaved really sweetly towards each other during that weekend and Carlos really did lament several times that he wasn't close to Charles on track to fight the Red Bulls because of the car. I don't know, anon, if at some point I was a Charlos believer now I'm a Charlos truther because they've shown me time and time again that they genuinely like each other. As people, as teammates, as rivals. They admire and respect each other! We can't forget (we'll never forget) that time Carlos admitted to following Charles' carreer in F2. It's etched into the collective brain of the Charlos fandom. So... Yeah. Carlos Sainz Jr. having a soft spot for Charles Leclerc and his pretty eyes? Checks out. Also: the fact that Charles lets Carlos be his touchy self with him when he wasn't this tactile with any of his previous teammates says... a lot about Carlos' magnetism and power of conviction. Because he never moves away or rejects him, he's always open and waiting for Carlos to touch him. So. It's a win in all fronts tbh.

#Charlos #Carlos Sainz Jr #Charles Leclerc #let me know what you think #another unhinged ramble about guys in fast cars #thank got it's saturday and i could actually focus on this one for a change #ask #anon #vic talks #charlos thoughts

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aimervee · 4 months

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AAAARGHH EVER SINCE YOU REVEALED PIPER TO EVENTUALLY EVOLVE INTO AN ESPEON… ITS GOT ME THINKING HOW THAT FITS SO WELL THEMATICALLY… Sun eeveelution…. Clementine’s dialogue about precious things correlating with the sun…. IT JUST FITS.

And on that note; do you think she’d have ‘Morning Sun’ as one of her movesets…? I JUST- WAA!! I LOVE THINKING ABT IT.

OH MY GOD FUJIIIIIII. YOU GET IT.

This is EXACTLY why I chose Espeon for Piper's evolution; I love the sunrise and sunset symbolism in the game SO much and I just had to choose the sun eeveelution to match it.

AND PARTNER'S DIALOGUE... YOU'RE SO RIGHT. Hero is the Partner's sun, and Piper is Clementine's sun as well. YOU'RE MAKING ME EMOTIONAL WITH THISSS

(And yes. YES she would absolutely have Morning Sun in her moveset ;) I'm so glad you made that connection)

They are each other's sun your honor... (WAILS)

#bringing back this old doodle because I still really like it :]#THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE ABOUT THIS I'm so glad you noticed the symbolism <333 #fuji you're actually making me go insane with this ask. AUGH #I'm going to draw their evolved forms again I swear. you can hold me to this promise fuji #THANKS FOR THE ASK <33 #pmd #my art #two things I associate most with PMD Explorers hero: forget-me-not flowers and the sun :')

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disposal-blueeee · 3 months

Text

stuff i never finished and why

hello and good night . i'm just gonna ramble about stuff so yeah

swings

oh man i really loved this drawing . but it was a PAIN IN THE ASS .

i had a bunch of problems with this one . i spent an embarrassing amount of time doing the line . then after i started painting it on Ibis paint i realized that i should've done the line with a textured brush .

then the background . i really couldn't make it look nice even if i tried . i spent so long just trying stuff and searching for references but i just couldn't get it right . the colors and the lightning kept looking weird .

and just when it was looking decent , oh no the file is corrupted !!! and if i wanted it back i would have to go through a speedpaint of a drawing that took me 28 hours ( i actually tried it 😭😭 but it was taking so long and after some time the app crashed )

so , i decided to just give up . i was already fed up with it . maybe some day i'll try to redraw it or something

edit : oh wait a second . this drawing makes no sense without the background . edgar looks like that because there's supposed to be a puddle under scriabin's swing and he's trying to get edgar wet with it

otgw x chapter 20 / 21

i just said i loved the other one but THIS ONE . this one is SO PRETTY and i was so excited to try some new brushes and overall just finish this . excited enough to start painting edgar without even finishing scriabin's line .

i was using a small tablet my friend let me borrow . it was actually so helpful because i could draw on my phone with it !! i used to work on this when i was at school .

then i started having problems with the background . again

then my friend told me that his mom didn't agree with him giving me the tablet and that he should give it to his sister instead so i had to give it back . great . at that point i didn't feel like finishing it so

random reference i found in pinterest

this is like a month old maybe ???? i just thought " oh this would be such a fire pfp " and after finishing the sketch i was like " alright i'll finish this tomorrow " ( i never finished it )

mostly didn't finish it because i didn't have any idea to make it look lifeless and tragic . oh well . maybe i'll try it someday i still think it's cool

papa's cheeseria

this one isn't really unfinished . i just wanted to make a doodle sheet but never drew anything else so now he's just there . alone in a blank space . poor guy .

so yeah . everytime i play papa louie's games i always make the workers look like edgar and scriabin . i thought this default outfit looked pretty cool so so i had to draw it

#there's probably more stuff to add here but i lost a bunch of files when i changed my pc :((#also i have another one i really wanted to add but it's oc related so so nope #i tried so hard with the swings one but after some time i just felt like the drawing expired ?????? somehow #like that just wasn't how i used to draw anymore . so i just gave up #the same thing happened with the otgw x 20 / 21 one and it makes me so SAD #i don't even know how that one popped in my head .#one day i just remembered over the garden wall existed thanks to a friend posting some art about it #and idk i just had to draw them like wirt and greg #anyways back to rambling about my life woohoo #i'm i'm doing so bad rn #but let's pretend i'm not . alright #this year will be tough .#vargas #vargas zarla #scriabin vargas #zarla s #edgar vargas #sunny's rambles

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notsogoodangel · 4 months

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I kept thinking about how Forever would react to seeing Martyn, but I feel we all expect him to react a certain way, so instead my interest shifted to another thing: how would Martyn react to Forever.

You know, Martyn is a lot emotionally smarter than most people Forever has shown any interest in.

Bad, Phil, and Brunim tend to wear a mask about their feelings and show their emotions in weird ways, and Max just doesn't tell you how he feels. Martyn may joke a lot about his own feelings and kind of hides them but never to the extent that the other 4 do, and, more importantly, can see the emotions of others and act accordingly.

Although, most importantly, he is not auto-destructive like them. Bad and Max are super auto-destructive if you are aware of their lore, but Philza and Brunim are quite bad too. Brunim is willing to die if it helps to prove a point and Philza is more of the sacrificial type, which is not great, thank god he is good at surviving otherwise he would have died who knows how many times.

Martyn is more "sure, why not" but can draw a line and say "That's a bit too much". So, of course, he would say "yes" if Forever asked him out, but could tell he was just a replacement just by Forever talking. He would probably think that Phil is the ex, not Brunim, unless Forever straight-up says his name.

But, of course, he is not immune. He recognizes why he actually accepted Forever's idea. He can recognize it on Forever because he may or may not be doing the same but at the end of the day. Forever is Forever. Martyn is Martyn. They cannot be replaced.

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foggysirens · 1 year

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what is your favourite headcanon for Luke? :3

AHHHHHH THANK YOU BESTIE

okay so basically one of my all time favourite headcanons for luke (and there are MANY lol) are about his scars!

so like, lukes scars themselves are a wildly accepted headcanon (that in return of the jedi when palpatine uses force lightning on him it leaves being a series of lightning scars all over his torso/arms) and like i adore the concept of a hero not walking away unscathed, ya know? so i love his scars, but where MY personal favourite headcanon comes in is the aftermath of them

i love the idea of lukes scars like… reacting to the force? like cause they are a product of the force that whenever he connects and uses the force his scars just alight like maybe not literally (or maybe literally too 👀) but like there’s this hot, crackling pull that travels across his scars like leylines whenever he uses his power and like i don’t think of it as painful (or maybe it is when he pushes himself too far, goes too deep into the force, and im gonna make this dinluke for a moment but i just love the idea that in those moments din will almost reverently touch his scars and massage them for luke to ease the pain) but it’s more like this itch of pure energy and power and like when there are great disturbances within the force he feels it in his scars first

anyways yeah lukes scars being a living manifestation of the force is my JAM

#answered most of this one from the break room lol #honestly tho thank you bestie for letting me ramble about my guy™️#luke skywalker #dinluke #(kinda)#star wars #copiasjuicebox #mj.answer

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voidandabyssal · 4 months

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Okay, hoping this is allowed. In regards to Below the Ice, how do you think some of the other Sans' would react to Reader in the same situation? Say Red, Blue, Axe, or Dior? You don't have to answer for all of these if you don't feel like it!

Of course this is allowed! Such a good idea. Hopefully I read this right lol

Red:

Reds more aggressive than Sans. He's not an Orca Siren but a Bull shark Siren. Not exactly known for being cold and calculating. There's definitely more murder attempts, Red is also far more successful at killing off Readers co-workers. This is probably set off the coast of coast of mexico, lots of bull sharks and bull shark sirens congregate there.

He's also more openly flirty though, he's more aware of his feelings to reader than Sans is and he's not shy about checking you out ;)))

Initially, he thinks your just like the other scientists. Dumb, easily manipulatable and an easy meal. You quickly prove him wrong when you successfully manage to trap him under some falling rocks.

Boy does Red love a strong and smart partner. Something about being capable enough to take down an apex predator like him just does it for him.

The two of you get closer once he's under captivity, which is in this au, not for evil science purposes but more so for everyone's (including reds, safety). Once you're on more equal power dynamics you find him to be quite funny and charming when he needs to be.

He's pretty touchy as well, not to the point of it being uncomfortable. He just likes play fighting with you, or just holding onto you.

Blue:

He's a Dolphin Siren! you initially meet him when your scuba diving taking coral samples. He's friendly and inquisitive and all too helpful. Your other colleagues are jealous he approached you this time. Similar to Red, this doesn't take place in the arctic but instead somewhere off the coast of Australia, maybe the Great Barrier Reef.

Yeah, he's definitely known around the area for how kind he is. Tons of youtube videos have gone viral featuring him helping fishermen, scuba divers and even lost swimmers.

ngl, this is probably the best start to your relationship compared to any of the other boys

He often swims circles around you, trying to draw you from your work to play with him, solve puzzles and even tries to get you to meet his brother. Sometimes you relent, sometimes you don't, though you do build a strong friendship.

You fall first but he falls harder.

It just hits him one day. You and him are out swimming, you collecting important marine data and him following you around with a strange stirring in his soul that he can't quite place.

When he sees you helping a small fish out of a plastic bottle. That's when it hits him. He loves you. You're perfect

Axe:

hhrrrrrrgggg pretty human,,,,,,

eyes wide, jaw dropped, STARING,,,,

you first meet when you're out late night fishing. You had been warned of a Giant Pacific Octopus Siren that had recently started inhabiting the area but what did they know??? Certainly not more than you! You'd been fishing round these parts since you were a baby!

"....HOLY SHIT!" is what you screech out, dropping your fishing rod when you see Axe's bright red eye-light looking up from the murky deep.

Yeah you turn right back around and don't come back. Much to Axe's disappointment. Luckily for him, and unluckily for you, he has very long, very powerful tentacles that he uses to pull you into the water with him.

He doesn't drag you under of course, he's smart enough to figure out that you really don't like that.

He's already designated you his mate. Sorry, pal, you're just going to have to make do with the giant octopus Siren cuddling up to you now.

He does let you go eventually, though you do have to repeatedly promise him that you'll come back.

And you do, afraid that he'll come chase you down. Eventually it does come to be a mutually loving relationship, it just takes a little time.

Dior (lusttale Sans):

This time you're the one approaching him. You're a famous wildlife photographer and you have been craving that perfect, career making picture; and you know who you have to photograph.

Dior, a famous lionfish Siren, known for his striking beauty and his charming friendliness to everyone. He proves to be rather elusive. Hard to find, rarely ever in one spot as he's surrounded by many Siren admirers. But you're determined!

finally, after days of bashing up against sharp corals in your search, you find him! Dozing off on a large rock formation. You're steadying yourself for the perfect picture when you notice a much larger Siren sneaking up on Dior, teeth bared and claws sharpened.

"Look out!" You say, or at least try to say through all the bubbles. Dior does manage to wake up though, and quickly pokes the attacker with one of his many poisonous spines.

He thanks you, deciding to pose for you in thanks for you saving him.

When you leave, he assumes you'll never come back. He's too used to people leaving once they've gotten what they want out of him.

He's pleasantly surprised when you come back, without the camera, just wanting to know more about the beautiful but distant Siren.

He doesn't mean to fall as fast and as hard as he does, but being around someone so genuine is such a nice shock to his system he just can't help but fall for your smile.

#hhrrrrrr I love my boys #thank you for letting me talk about my new ones #poor dior #and Axe!!! what a darling #ignore me lol I'm just rambling in tags #sans x reader #undertale headcanons #void askes #voidimagines #sans undertale #lusttale #horrortale #underfell #underswap

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witherfide · 5 months

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birth moment

i am. not ready

haha

anyway

just wanted to thank all of the wonderful people that ive met on this platform the last 7 months. i never really thought much would become of me posting my art on here but WOW was i wrong.

the unfiltered kindness/support and lovely people i’ve met on here is something i’m truly grateful for being able to experience. to be able to be apart of such an incredible community really made me feel seen, even if it was only for a little under a year.

with how inconsistent i am, i can only hope that i’ll return with the same passion as i did when i first posted! the interests i have now are.. vastly different (and i have some plans for this year that might get in the way of consistent posts, but we try regardless!)

not sure if i’ll be around for the holidays, so i hope they treat you well. <3

see ya

#scheduled post #urgh cant orchestrate my thoughts properly but #to the people who tag me in funny posts #to the people who listened to my stupid ramblings over stuff that wouldn’t matter in a weeks time #to the people who had fun conversations about their interests and music with me #i thank you for letting me enter your life . even if for just a moment <3 #remember to take care of yourselves #mels art

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izloveshorses · 2 months

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I saw a post complaining about musical Dimitri so I want to know what is your favourite things about him in the musical?

sigh... musical dmitry... giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair thinking about him. i'm always daydreaming about him. if you saw me on the street irl i almost guarantee you'd catch me lost in some variation of musical dmitry thoughts.

there are so many things i could say here, anon. his redemption arc™ from a selfish liar to the most noble and self-sacrificing slavic sadboy i've ever seen? his angsty daddy issues backstory? his bewitching silly goose ways? how he lets One Woman completely change the trajectory of his life? how he falls into an emotional spiral about it? the way he Knows Who He Is and is very self assured in his identity, and helps anya do the same? how his identity is so intertwined with his home? his role as a Storyteller™? etc????

but for this ask today i'm going to focus on how gentle he is. i don't think gentleness is something that comes very easy to this dmitry. he lost his father at a young age, as we know. he was alone on the streets and had to fight to stay alive. he cons people for a living. by the time we meet him he's very cynical about the world and doesn't really trust anyone, other than vlad. mostly he just relies on himself and can't really count on anyone else. when he meets anya, a cryptic girl who is a bit off but in need of help, his first response is to scoff and send her away, since unstable people are too risky to deal with. he's capable of being charming, but he uses this skill to get what he wants.

a lesser character with an identical backstory would be gruff and unfeeling, but... this dmitry isn't. in spite of it all, he's so hopeful, though he buries it deep. his most treasured story is about a girl he met at a parade. he is known as the 'prince of petersburg,' has a relationship with everyone on the streets. in the hartford production he calls an older woman in the ensemble 'little mother.' he rescues vlad, a complete stranger, from a firing squad. and though he turns her down at first, he agrees to get anya to paris. he protects what's his own.

you can tell it takes him a while to learn gentleness. whether it's physical or verbal, especially around anya, he is still always on the defensive for a while. fight first, think later. she's really jumpy and skittish but he doesn't start changing his behavior until they fight the ruffians together. he flags all of his movements around her, making sure she knows his intentions first. he talks about his father. he gives her a music box because he thinks it'll make her smile. because she 'earned it.' when she's crying after a nightmare he tells her a sweet, simple story from his childhood.

the train scene is the best example of this shift-- when she cowers after the gunshot goes off, he is completely lost about what to do. 'calm her down,' vlad tells him, but how is he supposed to do that? she's sobbing into his shoulder and he's frozen, panicking, because what is he supposed to do here??? but he shushes her and holds her anyway. he does his best. and it works. in such a tense situation where they very well could be shot next he is so so gentle and patient with her. and by the time we reach iacot in paris, he knows exactly how to comfort her. he learned how to hold her gently and speak in a soft voice. how softness can ground someone in need.

to summarize: musical dmitry is... really soft? and softness/gentleness isn't really something you see in the conman archetype very often. he is so special.

#asks #Anonymous #anastasia #anastasia broadway #anastasia musical #dimya #dmitry sudayev #meta #sorry this got long alkshjdf #i took a long time to answer this bc i wanted to give u a good answer lol #thank u for letting me ramble about blorbo from my show <333

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