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#the absolute shit i put in these tags
squiddlysq · 17 days
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Murderbot's interview with Station Security when it first arrived on station went extremely well
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djpaige · 2 years
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I mean it was just SUCH. A PERSPECTIVE SHIFT!!! It was-- UGH.
Like, you're watching episode 1 of Calamity, and you open with "Fire." Just that reminder that THIS IS GOING TO BE A DARK STORY. You know this, this is what you're signing up for! These characters are awful! They're all lying about various stuff! They have these ambitions and secrets and lies that will lead them all to RUIN. And you're watching this story unfold, and it's so tense because you KNOW that the Calamity happens. It's already heartbreaking because it's not so much that you know they *can't* stop it, but because you know they *don't*! It's in the lore! It's in the timeline! The Calamity is a thing that happens! TWO THIRDS of the population dies!!! TWO THIRDS!!!
You spend three episodes wondering how the Ring of Brass will mess everything up so bad that the world gets as bad as it can possibly get. Two thirds of the population! Dead!
And then in that fourth episode, Brennan flips that shit on its head. Because he brings in a worse tragedy. One where EVERYONE dies. No one makes it out of Exandria. Complete and total annihilation. And then gently introduces the idea of... what if you could save some of them?
That last fight had characters with HP in the single digits, no spells left, and it was unwinnable if the goal was to win the fight. But the goal changed and became to just survive long enough. You know they can't all survive this. But you sure as shit can hope that they can last those crucial 18 seconds. Just enough to make the difference between losing everyone, and not losing everyone.
It became a story not of how they lost two thirds of the population, but about how they saved one third. And it was an absolute master class in how to use tragedy to tell a story of hope.
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brother-emperors · 7 months
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CAESAR AUGUSTUS AND MARCUS LICINIUS CRASSUS
this is about the spolia opima that crassus was robbed of lmao. like, yeah okay octavian could've asked him not to claim it, but nevertheless. a kind of theft happened there.
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Fact and Fiction: Crassus, Augustus, and the Spolia Opima, Catherine McPherson
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jtl-fics · 7 months
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Fluent Freshman - 41
PREV
Two and a half hours into the Banquet and FF had not moved from the chair he had sat in at the start of the banquet. He hadn’t gotten up for water. Hadn’t gotten up to go to the bathroom. Hadn’t gotten up to dance despite Nicky’s pleading. He hadn’t even gotten up when a Raven had come over and asked him to.
He was not leaving his seat.
The stadium could be on fire and he’d still try to be the last one out.
Until there was a time where he could slide out of this chair without a single eye on him and put on his winter jacket without it seeming strange he was going to remain seated.
The answer on why was under his precisely placed napkin.
It had all begun about an hour and fifteen minutes ago, not that FF was counting. Dinner had been wrapping up and people had started to get up and jostle about. Flirtations were flying across the table and generally over FF’s head. The team had been smiling, there’d been laughter, and it had seemed unlikely for anything to go wrong.
He relaxed and that’s where he made a mistake.
FF could not eat the meal served. He’d had his liquid dinner on the way over on the bus so it didn’t bother him much to have a decent looking meal in front of him and not being able to eat it. He wasn’t going to eat so he hadn’t even unwrapped his cutlery, wanting to save the clean up crew from at least his set of utensils. He hadn’t placed the napkin over his lap to protect himself, what danger could there possibly be when he was not going to be eating?
The danger came when a Trojan smacked the table hard as he laughed at something that he had taken as a joke but, knowing Kevin, was probably a serious suggestion.
Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate.
Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate and more specifically a meatball that was with the pasta served with the beef tenderloin.
Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate and more specifically a meatball that was with the pasta served with the beef tenderloin so that it fell off of his plate and onto his lap.
Fell right onto his unprotected lap.
FF had looked down at his gray pants now irreversibly blemished by the errant meatball. His mind flashing back to when Nicky had decided on these pants. Remembers how Nicky hadn’t wanted him to vanish in the lower lighting of the banquet.
FF had grabbed his cutlery and put the napkin over his lap, far too late to save his pants, but fast enough that no one would see that he had spaghetti pants.
After that the trajectory of his evening had changed dramatically.
He was going to sit here all night until they were getting into the bus and then he’d have his winter jacket on and it was a long jacket that would cover his mark of shame. You might think that FF could just slip under the radar and go try and clean off the stain or at least hide somewhere less conspicuous.
He would, he really would, except he can feel the eyes of Captain Jeremy on him regardless of how low his presence is. FF entered into Ultra Stealth but Captain Jeremy merely turned to him and asked a friendly question that had Nicky startle remembering that FF was next to him still. 
Captain Jeremy has x-ray vision and can see the wall behind the wallpaper. Captain Jeremy can see colors that mantis shrimp can only dream of. Captain Jeremy is standing in some secret government office pointing on the radar as CIA and Military officials look on going “What are you talking about he’s right here?” with a smile.
Captain Jeremy was the kid that ate all the cheap fruit on a dessert table before he looked at the cake when he was a kid.
It’s the first time in his entire life that he’d been completely unable to slip below someone’s attention and if it were any other time he might feel good about that. Might enjoy the idea of being seen and having the attention of someone like Captain Jeremy on him.
Except FF has Spaghetti Pants.
FF cannot escape the man’s determination to ‘make it up’ to him after Aaron had let slip that FF had a restraining order against one of his brothers.
FF insisted that it was okay.
Captain Jeremy insisted on making sure he had a good time.
FF insisted that a good time for him would be to sit at this table all night by himself. He kept to himself that what would really make it would be for him to sit without anyone around to notice he had spaghetti pants.
Captain Jeremy seemed to think that it was due to the still healing stomach injury and insisted on at least keeping him company then, unaware of the unvoiced second part.
So Captain Jeremy of the USC Trojans had declared himself FF’s banquet buddy. A man that was friends or at least friendly with almost every single player here at the banquet.
He looks around the banquet and sees the various tense standoffs at the other tables. These were men and women who would find even the smallest thing and never let you forget it.
He doesn’t know what he’d do if they realize he had spaghetti pants.
How does one recover on the court when the person you’re up against can remember the cold December evening that you dumped a meatball on your pants? He can already hear the jeering nicknames.
He wants to sink into his seat but he’s afraid to shift at all, worried he’ll dislodge the napkin in some way and the newest person coming up to say ‘Hi’ to Jeremy Knox will notice the marinara stain on his pants.
While Jeremy was distracted he did try to wet Nicky’s disposed of napkin to perhaps clean himself off a bit except before he could a Raven came up to him, “Come with me.” a large Raven Backliner says, jerking his head towards the bathrooms.
“No thank you.” FF answers in return, “I don’t need to do that.” he says assuming that the Backliner had seen him shift in his seat and assume he needed to use the restroom.
The Raven Backliner stood for a few moments as if waiting for him to change his mind but then Captain Jeremy’s attention snapped back, “Can we help you with something?” Captain Jeremy asks and his friendly demeanor had vanished.
“I-” The Raven Backliner started to say before seemingly deciding that it wasn’t worth it and walked away.
Captain Jeremy and him continued to talk. They had somehow fallen onto the SAW movie franchise and FF could admit that he was surprised that the Trojan Captain had watched the series.
“You need to come with me.” A Raven Striker says coming up and interrupting the two of them as they talked about the ethics of SAW. FF believed that it was all well and good to learn to appreciate life but there had to be simpler ways to go about teaching that. Jeremy didn’t disagree, he just also thought that sometimes there were some people who Jigsaw never intended to redeem and those people may have deserved their fates.
FF tilts his head, “Do I?” he asks since it didn’t seem like the ERC had made any sort of announcement and she seems utterly and completely perplexed by his response.
The girl looks at him, looks over her shoulder, looks back at him, “Yes?” she responds sounding so unsure that even FF wouldn’t believe her.
“I don’t think he does.” Captain Jeremy interrupts gaze utterly cooled from the warm one he had been giving FF throughout their philosophical debate.
The Raven Striker looks cowed and FF almost feels bad for her but not bad enough to console her when he has spaghetti pants.
She leaves.
FF and Captain Jeremy’s conversation shifts to winter break plans. Captain Jeremy is going home to his family and he’s taking Jean Moreau with him. “I think my mom likes him more than she likes me sometimes.” Jeremy laughs heartily. “He deserves nice holidays though so I’m always happy to bring him up.” he says voice and features going soft as he looks to where Jean Moreau was standing with a raised eyebrow next to Andrew as Kevin and Neil were having some animated conversation.
FF talks about his own plans with the Foxes and how he’ll be spending the break with them. He thinks Captain Jeremy looks a little sad about that but whatever sadness there is Captain Jeremy moves past it quickly and starts to ask if he had plans to go anywhere specific in New York. He heartily recommends the LEGO store when FF says he’s never been.
“Someone important wishes to speak with you.” An Offensive Dealer from the Ravens says and he looks like he’s about to shake apart as he stands in front of them.
“Who?” He asks, tilting his head and sipping his water.
The Dealer looks at him.
“Is it that hard of a question to answer?” Captain Jeremy asks voice stern once again.
“He’s…Master is-” The Dealer goes paler and Smith can’t help but pull out his handkerchief from his front suit pocket as he sees the Dealer break out into a cold sweat.
“You don’t look well, maybe you should sit down?” he asks with his handkerchief extended in offer. The man looks at him and then the handkerchief and then takes it. “Thank you.” he says 
“Wow a handkerchief? My pocket square is just a fake one sewed in.” Captain Jeremy laughs jovial once again as the Raven took a seat shakily.
“It’s something my dad used to always say.” Smith thinks about the additional handkerchiefs in his pockets. “A gentleman always has a handkerchief on hand to help.” He pulls out a second one, “A real gentleman has two.” he adds and folds the new handkerchief into shape for the pocket square again.
Captain Jeremy laughs, “Sounds like a great guy! He must be happy you took his advice to heart.” he says and it doesn’t hurt that bad when Captain Jeremy is saying it since he’s saying something so nice.
“I hope so.” he agrees and doesn’t feel like ruining the mood.
Captain Jeremy turns his attention back onto the Raven who has taken a seat and his eyes soften on the Raven, “Wow you really are pale. Not a lot of sunlight in the Nest?” he asks.
The Dealer swallows, now visibly the most nervous person at the table which is saying something considering that FF is at the table.”I-I’m just pale naturally.” he denies.
“Sit and talk with us until you feel better.” Captain Jeremy insists, “What’s your name by the way?” he asks.
“Michael.” He answers awkwardly.
“Great, my name is Jeremy,” Captain Jeremy points at himself, “and this is Smith. So, have you ever been to New York City before?” he asks
Captain Jeremy, FF, and Michael chat at length about Michael’s New York pizza recommendations. Captain Jeremy asks about some of the places he has been in New York and the longer Michael is there chatting the more color comes to his face and the more vehement he becomes that Captain Jeremy managed to pick all the worst places by accident.
“You’re kidding me! It was 10 bucks a slice, it has to be good!” Captain Jeremy exclaims looking as if Michael was telling him Santa and the Easter Bunny weren’t real.
“If you’re paying more than $2.50 it’s a rip.” Michael insists passionately. “If it’s more expensive than the subway ticket then it’s a racket!” he slams his fist down at the table.
“You mean to tell me that I was lied to by that person I followed on Twitter?” Captain Jeremy asks, appalled.
“Swindled.” Michael insists.
“Christ, I’ve given that recommendation to so many people.” Captain Jeremy and while gesturing he puts his elbow in his own remaining spaghetti, “Oh shit.” he says. Smith looks at the black suit jacket and thinks about a future one step to the left where he had on black pants and a black suit jacket.
“I’m sure it’s good.” FF tries to comfort offering Jeremy his third handkerchief, this one from his left pocket since the one in his breast pocket was a specific color for the ‘look’ that Nicky had wanted. “It’s just not representative of a New York slice,” he adds.
“Thanks Smith.” Captain Jeremy takes the handkerchief wetting it with the glass of water nearby and wiping away the excess of marinara and spaghetti. “I’m going to go wash this off and try to dry it for you.” he says holding the handkerchief up.
“You don’t have to do that.” FF says but Jeremy is waving him off as he stands.
“Sit tight, I’ll be right back.” he says and heads off.
FF turns to Michael, “So I shouldn’t trust anything more than $2.50?” he asks.
Michael shakes his head and turns to look at FF, “Absolutely not.” he says with a smile before FF can see his eyes flick away and he stiffens. “Hey, it’s…” he looks down and the handkerchief, “it’s been nice chatting with you but… is there anyway we can take this conversation somewhere else?” he asks.
FF blinks, “No, I’m not getting up until the party is over.” Smith declines because by this point the stain has set. There is no stealthily cleaning it now that Captain Jeremy has left.
“So, you’ll get up once the banquet is over?” Michael asks leaning across the table and as he does that Smith can see a fairly ugly bruise on the Dealer’s forehead.
“I’ll have to won’t I?” he asks because despite the not-zero possibility that he’ll get left behind by the team again. His gaze shifts to Nicky who is leaning heavily against Matt as the two sway back and forth dancing and laughing. Probably about 50/50 at this point, depending on how quickly FF can make his way out of the stadium.
Michael looks at him and there’s something in his eyes that feels saddened, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” he says before rising to his feet. “Thank you for this.” he says and hands the handkerchief back. FF can’t help but notice how there was a schmear of make-up on it.
The Dealer walks off and FF waves him off with the handkerchief before sliding it back into his right pocket, where he kept dirty handkerchiefs. He lets his eyes wander across the banquet. He sees Aaron and Katelyn slow dancing to a song that is not a slow dance. He sees Kevin and Jean now in the middle of a passionate conversation. Jack is pouting by the punch bowl with a few other Sophomores patting him on the back. Sheena is seemingly trying to flirt with the older bartender. Nicky and Matt have somehow only gotten sloppier in the 2 minutes between when he last looked at them and now. Captain Neil and Andrew are at the dessert table and he sees Andrew offering Captain Neil a chocolate covered strawberry. He sees a gaggle of his fellow freshmen huddled together all sipping their drinks nervously he moves to wave them over back to the table. Threat of the reveal of his spaghetti pants aside he’s not used to be alone anym-
“What the fuck did you just say?!” He hears behind him.
“I said what I said. She wasn’t even that hot! Get over it!” Another mocking voice.
“That’s it!” the sound of glass shattering and all hell breaks loose.
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MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
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nyxronomicon · 2 months
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But Endeavor, whose only been a perfunctory fucker now eating pussy, your pussy, for the first time and he just does the messiest job of it. Just down there exploring every fold with his fat fingers- hearts in his eyes and juice in his chin
ANON... 🥴🥴🥴 please you are so right all he knows is breeding... (RIP don't look at me) he's gotta learn how to eat someone out sometime...
Endeavor x gn!reader (w vagina) cw: messy messy oral, fingering (thick fingers...), rough, overstim, reader squirts pet names: baby
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"Higher- ah!" Your sharp moan told him that he found the right spot, his tongue flicking your clit. He was clumsy and awkward, like he didn't quite know how to move his mouth now that he'd found your sweet spot. Your fingers slid into his hair as his lips wrapped around your bundle of nerves.
You briefly looked at him, seeing his piercing blue eyes gazing back at you. There was a dusting of pink on his cheeks, uncertainty seeping onto his features. You wanted to tell him how adorable it was, how much you were in love with this version of Enji Todoroki. But you knew better, he wouldn't take that compliment well. He'd get hyper masculine, pin you down before getting rough and pounding his heavy cock into you.
He tried to pull away out of insecurity, but you tugged his hair with just enough force to keep him between your thighs. "Want you right here." You held him in place, seeing his eyes widen slightly and the flush of his cheeks become a deeper red.
The bashful expression lasted less than a moment, his eyes flickering closed as he sucked your clit. When he opened them again, they were full of determination. Enji suddenly pulled your hips closer to the edge of the bed to get a better angle. You felt his thick fingers dance between your folds, throwing your head back as he teased you.
"Enji," you moaned his name, arching your back as a finger pushed into you. Your cunt practically sucked him in, and he groaned as he imagined his throbbing cock getting the same treatment.
There was a glisten of sweat clinging to your skin. Your fingernails dug into his scalp as he sucked your clit hard, flicking at the bud with his tongue as his finger searched your pussy for your g-spot. A second finger pushed into you, your core throbbing for more. You threw your head back, losing control of your body as you could feel pleasure creeping up your spine.
You were so fucking sexy. He needed to taste your cum on his lips. It was all he could think as his fingers pressed your g-spot, instantly pulling lewd sounds from your lips. He smirked, his tongue now only lightly swirling around your clit as he focused on finger-fucking you. You were close, he could tell from the way you tightened around him.
"That's it, baby." He growled into your pussy, "cum for me." With another rough suck on your bundle of nerves, he prodded your g-spot relentlessly. His blue eyes were trained on you, watching every minute change as your breath hitched.
Your cunt tipped over the edge with ecstasy, Enji holding you in place as he continued his ministrations. It quickly spread through your whole body, thighs twitching as you felt yourself getting oversensitive. You mumbled his name, writhing in his grip as you rode out the orgasm.
"Just a lil' more..." He continued, "c'mon baby," his motions intensified, sensitivity instantly sending a more intense wave of pleasure through you. You could feel yourself squirt into his mouth, almost embarrassing had he not immediately started licking the essence from your folds.
He cleaned you out like a starved man, slowly and gently letting you come down from your high. He continued to watch you with adoration in his gaze, his cock throbbing with desire. When he finally pulled away from your cunt, you saw his smirk drenched in your juices.
"How was that?" He spoke quietly, but with confidence. Your expression and the fact that you were still catching your breath told him the answer.
"Not bad for a first timer." You chuckled through heavy breaths.
"Oh?" He climbed on top of you with a grin, pinning your arms above your head. "How 'bout I show you my expertise?"
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@rottiens if I have to brainrot about this man you do too
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aluminum-angels · 5 months
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@weepinglilvessel what do you think they're talking about?
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probably something stupid, like taxes... or purposed organisms
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dixidin · 4 months
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My sincere reaction after finding out dream did a (really bad) cover of one day by Lovejoy at his OWN. CONCERT.
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angelspenance · 9 months
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Shoutout to queer masculinity. Butches, transmascs, amab people who enjoy the masculine parts of themselves, gnc people, etc etc. No if ands or buts.
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constantvariations · 9 months
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Probably one of the worst aspects of the Abusive Adam subplot is how it’s a deeply ignorant person’s idea of what an abuser looks like
To quote Lundy Bancroft’s Why Does He Do That? Into the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men:
An abuser is a human being, not an evil monster... The common view of abusive men as evil, calculating brutes can make it difficult for a woman to recognize her partner’s problem... She doesn’t realize that he can have all these positive qualities and still have an abuse problem.
They don’t pop out the gate screaming and swinging, like Adam did at Beacon. Abusers know how to be charming, how to play to the crowd, how to twist someone’s reality until they don’t know which way is up. Lots of folk don’t even realize they’re being abused because they’ve been so thoroughly convinced that the problem lies with them rather than their partner. What else are they supposed to think when their partner is so kind and generous and loving to everyone but them?
By writing Adam as a purely evil monster with no redeeming qualities, ShawLuna are contributing to the misconceptions surrounding abuse, making it harder for people to understand their situations or be able to recognize when someone they love is in trouble
If you want to read more of the book, which I highly recommend, here’s a link to an online copy. You can also download it as a free pdf
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qu1nby · 2 years
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I genuinely love when people say that they can’t see skk ever having a long, functional relationship because that is the appeal! It’s about loving someone despite knowing they are not the best person for you. It’s about self-destruction through others. Yes yes yes I want to see these touch-starved dumbasses cuddling and making dinner together because I know that there are also years of arguing and weird mind-game manipulative shit going on behind the scenes
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ihhfhonao3 · 7 days
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Happy birthday Apollo Justice I just know you’d fail day of silence
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andy-clutterbuck · 1 year
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Simon Casey | Teachers | requested by Anonymous
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blinkpen · 3 months
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ahh, here's another thing with a doodle in it i was hesitant to post if only bc i don't want to risk the stress of getting targeted by The Harassment Engine but, idk, it is just kinda lying around... keep it between us i guess
the As Written By Viv meme was like the universe's little end of the year present to me specifically amidst all the horrors
if you can identify the exact sentence i gave up the pretense of emulation and devolved purely into contempt-soaked parody, you get a sticker
*cw for fatphobia and schrodinger's incest only as far as needed to emulate Unfunny Hack Writing that i did not fucking enjoy typing
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nayruwu · 4 months
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SO... I was just thinking, let's say hypothetically.. mahiru guren & shinya weren't toxic ca16 was written by a less misogynist author then would you like mahigureshin as like poly ship? It just came in my head as much as I dislike how author wrote them esp mahirus character I still think in alternative setting it might work?? They are kind of catastrophic trio with very poetic themes & victim of fate kinda afterall.
honestly probably yeah. most powerful trio imagineable.
although i actually have no clue what mahiru's personality would be like were she not written by such an author. i think i've read some cool modern AUs in which i really liked her - kickass businesswoman that overworks herself trying to get her little sister out of a difficult situation while simulteanously juggling her relationship with her boyfriend and their shared trophy wife, i think that'd fit her well. "all you do is work :(" "you don't understand i'm doing this for us!!!111!1!1!!1!!!" type of stuff.
i will forever treasure that little snippet of her and shinya making fun of guren together, that was adorable. the way things should've been.
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aviul · 2 months
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take a bite
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cheemken · 6 days
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Strife.
Hs stuff w @altairtalisman now hahah
Love how in this and the one w Jam I'm still throwing hands lmfaooo
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