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emblemxeno · 3 years

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JP vs. Localization in Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation

(Okay, for real this time lol)

Again, here’s a link to my sources post.

Fortunately, this route follows suit in terms of good localization quality after Conquest. It’s the shortest out of all the posts, since I don’t really have a lot to talk about. Mostly subtle line changes, references and a few key points of information that were cut out. I also went through Hidden Truths and Heirs of Fate to see if I could add stuff from those on here, but there were no big problems that I found.

Once again, the main part of this post will all be put under the cut. If a chapter isn’t covered, it means I didn’t think there were any differences worth talking about.

I’ll use localized names for characters and locations, unless I feel the need to do otherwise.

I’ll be using she/her when referring to Corrin in this post. (I flipped a coin to decide the gender lol)

Also, note that after Chapter 14, the translation of this route on Fateswartable ends, so I mostly relied on the English patch done by Serenes at that point forward. (I also used PegasusKnight.com as a reference to fall back on if I needed it)

Chapter 7

-A minor gripe I have with localization. The JP version compares Touma (Valla) to hell constantly. To jump ahead a bit, I believe in the JP versions of the End of All Sky/Land/Below tracks are even called The End of All Roads Heaven/Earth/Hell. The Vallites are also often called demons in the JP version, and Anankos himself is known as the ‘Invisible Demon Dragon’.

Another cool thing I just thought of too, is a connection to a popular Japanese short story. Zelda fans might be familiar with the story, “The Spider’s Thread”, which inspired the Ancient Cistern dungeon in Skyward Sword.

The beginning of the story has Buddha walking through paradise (heaven), before coming across a pond. The pond is filled with crystal clear water, and covered with water lilies/lotuses. As Buddha gazes further into the pond, he begins to see the depths of hell.

Sound familiar? “Azura is walking through Hoshido, before coming across a lake. The lake is filled with crystal clear water, and when she gazes into the lake she sees the fallen kingdom of her birth. Valla, the kingdom associated with water lilies/lotuses in the game, has been turned into hell itself.”

This association loses its meaning a bit when the comparisons to hell are a bit toned down, as well as when the Buddhist inspirations were kind of supplanted in favor of Greek renames. It’s not supremely important to the plot as a whole, but it’s something interesting I wanted to bring up.

-In the JP version, while explaining what happened in Valla, Azura eventually says “Using the art of manipulating people’s souls, he (Hydra/Anankos) made the people kill each other.” This bit of the people killing each other was cut in localization.

Chapter 12

-In the JP version, when Corrin asks Flora if she knows anything about dragons, Flora says “Sorry, I don’t know…The ancestral dragon of the Ice Clan has already perished and isn’t part of the legend. I don’t know what role it plays, sorry…” Localization makes her response “I'm sorry, but I can't think of anything... They've been gone so long that we don't even have tales of dragons in the Ice Tribe. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more assistance...”

So, the JP version explicitly says the Ice Dragon is dead (I believe Fates’ second artbook mentioned this as well), whereas the localization only says the First Dragons have been gone for a long time.

Chapter 16

-There’s not really much of a problem that I have with what Ryoma says about Corrin “having leadership qualities at a young age” but I wanted to do comparisons regardless cuz the word choice might lead one to different conclusions. In localization, Ryoma says this:

Ryoma: Huh... So she told us the same thing... I don't think it's in Corrin's nature to lie. And there's a leadership quality about her that just attracts followers. I remember being jealous of her as a child, in fact. Even at such a young age, she displayed the characteristics of a ruler. Silly to be jealous of her, right?

In the JP version, Ryoma says this:

Ryoma: Oh... So, she told you the same thing. …Corrin isn’t one to tell lies. She’s been like that since childhood. She’s always genuine and honest... She has this mysterious appeal that draws people to her. Seeing my younger sister with the qualities of being a ruler... Honestly, it makes me feel envious. …What a ridiculous thing to say, right?

Again, I don’t necessarily have a problem with how it was localized, but some might. The localization version might have people think that Corrin somehow was a fantastic leader at such a young age, but JP is more clear that it was about the qualities she had at a young age that would be valuable as a leader.

Chapter 19

-A minor gripe. In the localization, Azura says that Anankos uses his magic to send Vallites to Nohr and Hoshido to stir up conflict. In the JP version, she says he uses magic, along with the help of a body of water. That’s why whenever you fight Vallites outside of Valla proper, there’s a body of water nearby; Hoshido’s lake (and the ponds shown in Hinoka’s CQ battle which are in the capital) for Chapter 5, the sea for BR chapter 11, the burning falls for BR chapter 21, and the city for Rev chapter 13. Similarly, the consequences of being a victim to the curse are described as “turning into sea foam” in the JP version. Localization as a whole kind of toned down how much water has an influence on the story.

Chapter 23

-Probably the pettiest gripe I have lol. As Arete is fading away from Azura’s arms, Azura has a different reaction in localization and Japanese. In localization, Azura says “Mother? Mother!” while a voice clip of her in-battle pain cries plays. In the JP, she says “*Sob... Sob*…! Mother... Mother...!”, while a voice clip of her crying plays. Her crying voice clip I don’t recall hearing anywhere else.

This is one of the few times in the you get to see Azura express a heavy and heartfelt emotion, since her rough childhood caused her to remain guarded and stoic around everyone. The equivalents to this scene in other routes is her death scene in Birthright, and her crying with Corrin over Ryoma’s death in Conquest; a normally unflinching and aloof character breaking down is a rarity, and indicates that the cause of it is something to take note of for the character as a whole. Localization softened this aspect, and I take issue with it, despite it probably seeming trivial to most other people.

Chapter 24

-When Corrin is questioning the phantom Mikoto, an exchange happens. In localization, part of it goes like this:

Corrin: But this can't be... Are you truly my mother?

Mikoto: I am. Even as a puppet of Anankos, my spirit at least remains my own.

Corrin: I... I believe you.

In the JP version, it goes like this:

Corrin: It can’t be... …Are you really my mother?

Mikoto: Yes... I became an Invisible servant, controlled by the Invisible King... Even so, I am your mother.

Corrin: …………

Again, a minor thing that I don’t personally have issue with, but replacing Corrin’s silence with an admittance of belief could make some believe she has “reverted” back to being too naïve.

Chapter 26

-While Gunter is relaying his past, an exchange happens. In localization, it goes like this:

Gunter: I ask myself that, every day. I cannot understand the minds of royals. To you all, we commoners are little more than pawns in your schemes... Or weeds to be killed on a whim.

Corrin: That's not true...

Xander: Is that how people view the royalty?

Ryoma: Such an impression would easily breed powerful resentment...

In the JP version, Corrin, Xander and Ryoma don’t say anything. They just remain silent.

Endgame

-Not a major problem so much as a general thing about the game, but I can think of like... at least three memes that Treehouse inserted into the localization. Now I like memes, but there is no better way to date your media nowadays. One of them was Kana’s “That’s dragon for I love you” which tbh, is kind of cute and isn’t the most well known meme so I guess I can let it slide. Another is Felicia saying “I had one job!” when she messes up in the dining hall, which isn’t that big of a deal since the dining hall is very optional.

The last one I can think of is why I put this specific grievance here, and it’s during Corrin’s speech before facing Anankos.

Corrin: We won't back down! This is my... This is our destiny! Ready your weapons! Fight for your friends! With the Seal of Flames... With the Fire Emblem on our side! We fight for our world!!

Yeah, she says “Fight for your friends” which is everyone’s favorite Ike line from Brawl. Now, this isn’t even a totally inaccurate translation either, but it kind of just... makes the moment funny for the player when it’s supposed to be commanding and serious I guess.

But yeah, not the most important issue by far, but something I’d thought to mention. Hell, it’s not even that bad compared to how they made Peri’s, Effie’s and Hisame’s quirks into exaggerated and tired jokes. And the Beruka-Saizo support. Never forget.

-When Azura and Corrin are by the lake and discuss the latter’s plans to rule, Corrin says this in localization:

Corrin: I'm going to make Valla a wonderful place! In honor of the true last king and for Queen Arete. And everyone who fought... I promise to make them all proud.

In the JP version, she says this:

Corrin: I’ll make the Invisible Kingdom (Valla) into a great land. For the previous monarch, Queen Shenmei (Arete)… And for all of my allies who fought beside me. I promise.

So, JP version only mentions Arete as the reigning monarch of Valla. Which makes sense, cuz unless there was some wild “keeping the bloodline pure” shenanigans in Valla, Arete being the Queen keeps in line with what we know about the rest of Valla’s history. Arete was royalty from birth, as was her sister Mikoto. Arete is the one who passed down Lost in Thoughts and the pendant to Azura.

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streets-in-paradise · 4 years

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Fictional Sibling relationships i live for

I had been thinking about this topic lately and decided i would like to make a post about it because it is a very fun and interesting one for me. I had mentioned a few times here that in terms of fandom involvement i am more invested in family and frienships than in shippings, particulary i have a fixation with strong sibling bonds or sibling like friendships. I think it must be because i have a strong bond with my younger sister, i identify with that and that’s why i tend to get more involved and interested in this sort of character interactions.

I will keep this just in movies, movie adaptations of books and tv shows because i don’t want it to be super long but still want to talk. In movie adaptations i will try to stay in movie’s territory as much as i can, if i add commentary on the book versions this would never end but i may slip a bit towards it because i can’t help it.

As always, i make the disclaimer over the images i will use here, they belong to the sites where i found them.

Sorry for my pathetic language skills in english.

Note: this got so long that i will probably make a second part for more characters i coulnd’t include

Boromir and Faramir in lotr

Lotr is full of great material for people who, like me, obsess over families. Frodo and Bilbo, Merry and Pippin, Elrond and Arwen, Theoden ,Eowyn and Eomer are other great examples of family relationships i’m interested on from here ( i pretty much love to overthink stuff about almost all the lotr family relationships). I choose to talk about this bros because they have a particular place in my heart. How many times we had seen the common trope of a royal or noble family where the father is a dick who gives all his love and attention to the older brother, neglects the little one causing him to grow up resentfull and ending up as a villian while dad’s favourite is the hero of the tale? Not this time, and it is so refreshing.

Boromir and Faramir choose each other over their father’s bullshit, you can see it in the lovely deleted scene the gif up here comes from. When Denethor shows up they are both annoyed, when he is mean to Faramir Boromir calls him out and tries so hard to make him show some appreciation for his youngest son. it is clear that, in this version, Boromir is more family to Faramir than his father ever was. I love how much they care for each other, how they pass beyond the differences. Boromir is a super amazing big bro, i love how he protects Faramir and is there for him instead of letting his father’s praise get in between. I could talk for hours about this two because i love them so much. I’m doing a hard effort in stopping myself from throwing a whole set of headcanons i have for them so i will stop now before i get too excited.

Fili and Kili in The Hobbit

Staying in Middle Earth for one more mention i had to talk about this two. Being fully honest, the movies broke my heart because they took the exact opposite way i would had wished for. When they were introduced In An Unexpected Journey this two adorable brothers were one of my favourite aspects of it because i loved their Merry and Pippin like dumb chaotic energy. One of my biggest complains with the Hobbit adaptation is to have shifted the narrative of the strongly family focused story arc of the Line of Durin. Kili’s romance with Tauriel shifted the focus and, in my particular perspective, i hated that because i was already super involved in the family story. Besides from the “I belong with my brother” iconic line we don’t see much more of Fili and Kili’s bond after the introduction of Tauriel. In fact, Fili loses a lot of his initial screentime in Desolation of Smaug and Battle of the Five Armies.

I love this two, the relationship with their uncle as it was introduced in the first film and i would had loved to see more of their family dinamic explored. One of my biggest complains, besides from the change of focus on their supposed ending, is that i’m convinced that they should had entered the mountain with the rest of the company. It is such an important moment they would probably waited for since they were children, is the legacy of their family. In short terms, i love them and i would had loved to keep seeing future developments of the Line of Durin story they had in AUJ.

Hector and Paris in Troy

This two represent the opposite case. The relationship they have in this movie is very different from the source material but i love the great development it has here. It is outstanding to see the importance the sibling bond has in a movie that is supposed to be about a war caused by a romantic passion.

The sons of King Priam are absolute opposites. Hector is the embodiment of a true hero, a Steve Rogers of ancient times. His strong caring nature and will to protect everyone reminds me of Boromir as well. Unlike Faramir,Paris is a freaking mess. He is the careless, adventurous and reckless little brother Hector ends up protecting every single time he gets into trouble. I had stated before that i think Paris is a selfish prick but i think that is a slight confussion of mine with the original. This Paris is more a reckless dumbass and, unlike Iliad Paris, his arc in the movie it’s a bit more simpathetic. In this version Helen is trapped in a loveless marriage to an old prick who treats her like trash (in the director’s cut Menelaus jokes about how he only cares for his wife for breeding purposes on a conversation with Hector). I can understand at some point that, if he trully fell in love with her, he felt horrible for letting her stay there as a prisoner of her husband. Going back to the my focus for this talk, i like that the movie had decided to make this two close brothers who actually care for each other despite being absolute opposites instead of two guys who barely know each other, are barely aware of being brothers and share only hatefull interactions.

Hector’s protectiveness over Paris warms my heart. He had threated him a few times ( director’s cut has the “ i will rip off your pretty face from your pretty skull” excharge. I love that scene), he gets furious at him for his foolishness, they argue but when the time comes he always chooses to protect him. Honestly, that’s such a big bro thing, i can’t help to feel identified. The weight that this relationship has in the development of the story is a surprising thing and it makes everything more tragic. Paris being the killer of Achilles has a more significant meaning because, now it’s not just the irony of the weakest character killing the strongest. Paris is aware that he owns the memory of his fallen brother so much, he wants revenge. Hector was there for him all his life, the least he can do for him is to kill his killer and avenge his death. Briseis begs him to stop but he can’t let himself do that, he owns it to Hector and that debt is bigger than anything.

I will not delay this any longer, the family relationships on this movie are my favourite aspect of it and i have a soft spot for the bond between the trojan princes. Don’t get surprised if i one of this days i end up making an entire separate post talking about the family dinamics displayed in the film (same goes for lotr but that would take me ages and i would have to make an entire series of posts if i wanted to discuss every lotr family relationship i would want to talk about).

Sam and Dean Winchester in Supernatural

If you reached this point you may had noticed that i have a big thing with family tragedies involving siblings. Supernatural is my favourite show because it combines lots of elements i love. To mention just a few: horror, mythology,classic rock and a strong family approach in its pretty tragic but outstanding plot.

Sam and Dean are one of my favourite duo of bros of all time. I don’t think i have a lot to say about them because their relationship has been analized lots of times by the very big fanbase of the show. My main difference with the common interpretation is that i don’t see the Winchester family in a similar way to the movie versions of the Steward of Gondor and his sons, which means i don’t think John has been the shittiest father ever despite his many mistakes. Unlike movie Denethor he tried hard and in the interactions we saw of him with his boys he actually cares for both of them.

This bros were the ones that made me realize in an actual concient way of my tendency to get too attached to families, story arcs regarding them and sibling love. I’m super attached to this story, i don’t know what the hell i’m going to do with my life once it ends.

I will end this post here. It is more than sure that there would be a part two because i have tons of more brothers,sisters and other family relationships to talk about.

Thanks to everyone who has read my very long ramble

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battlestory · 4 years

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BATTLE ROYALE: MANGA

Newsarama’s article on Battle Royale manga and an interview with editor Mark Paniccia and adapter Keith Giffen. Originally published on Newsarama’s website in 2003.

The five stages of becoming a warrior on The Program.

In May (2003), Tokyopop will shrug off the image of a company that mainly publishes shojo manga with the debut of Battle Royale, the manga based on the highly controversial novel and movie. Newsarama spoke with editor Mark Paniccia and adapter Keith Giffen for more.

First things first, make no mistake. Tokyopop is publishing Battle Royale with its 'Mature Ages 18+' advisory on it. It is not for anyone under 18, and even some readers over that age will find it a tough read.

Combining themes from Lord of the Flies and The Running Man, creator Koushun Takami wrote the novel Battle Royale in 1999. The novel was then adapted into a movie by the late director Kinji Fukasaku and has spawned legions of fans. Takami went on to write the manga of the same name, collaborating with artist Masayuki Taguchi. The series is still being published in Japan.

▼ READ MORE ▼

The novel, movie, and now manga have polarized readers in Japan, due to the manga's content. In a nutshell, the "Battle Royale" itself is "The Program," a television show in a morally and sociologically bankrupt, Stalinistic future that picks random classes of 9th grade students and puts them on an abandoned island for a televised fight to the death.

The future depicted by Takami resonates with a 1984 (or current-day America, depending on your viewpoint) feel - the students who are enlisted into the game are doing their patriotic duty, and the state is very proud of them and their "willing" sacrifice.

Mr. Kamon - administrator of The Program

The island is divided into grids, and the students are all given kits, which include one weapon, as well as the basic necessities, such as first aid, a compass, a map, field rations, and water; and explosive collars which detonate if a student tries to escape or goes into a forbidden grid. The beaches of the island are guarded by soldiers, and from time to time, random grid squares are declared danger zones, and after a given time, the explosive collars of any students in the square will detonate. If the students band together, after a period of 24 hours with no kill, all the explosive collars will detonate. Forty-two students begin the game, last student alive at the end of three days wins.

Battle Royale's editor knows what you're thinking. "You're right, that's pretty depressing," Paniccia said. "But the themes that play throughout it - friendship, trust, loyalty, faith - keep you glued to the page because you can truly relate to some of the stuff the teens are experiencing.

"We can all remember having a crush on someone, or wanting to be like the cool guy, or having a friend who stood up for you. Now you're thrown into a situation where you have to kill the girl you like, or the guy who stuck up for you or the kid you admire and that's where you really get drawn into the series."

In the first installment, students who stand up against authority of The Program are killed, alliances are formed, and despite the hopelessness and virtual nilhism of the story, a sense of optimism sneaks in - maybe the story's two protagonists will beat the odds and will both come out the other end alive.

It's a unique story, and that was one of the things that made Tokyopop want to bring it to American audiences. "I can honestly say I've never seen anything like it before," Paniccia said. "It's a really strong story with strong messages and it's not afraid to use really, really strong images. Tokyopop wanted to publish something that would strike a nerve. My nerves are struck."

Choices, choices...

Tokyopop isn't pushing the project out for its salacious value alone - not by any means. While, as with all product they carry, retailers will be responsible for the location and clientele allowed to purchase Battle Royale, Tokyopop is sensitive to concerns over the content. "My jaw dropped when I flipped through the pages of the first volume," Paniccia said. "I'd have to say I was more than a bit concerned about the extremity of the content. But thanks to Keith's experience and his compulsively creative mind, the adaptation of this book is in good hands."

That's not saying it's cleaned up or sanitized for American audiences by any means, though. If anything, Giffen delighted in aiming the disturbing nature of the story directly between the eyes of an American audience. But more on that in a minute - according to Paniccia, Giffen was a needed ingredient in the Tokyopop version of Battle Royale from the beginning, something that will hopefully allow the publisher to make a strong presence in comic book shops.

"Who else could this? In the beginning, one of the things we thought we needed was a recognizable comic book writer on the series," Paniccia said. "I figured the content would turn off the book retailers and the comic shops would be our best outlet. When I found out from Keith's Dominion partner, Ross Richie, that he was a big fan of the Battle Royale movie, I called him and we talked about it for a while. Keith's reputation for controversy and his enthusiasm for the property were the perfect ingredients. And thus, soon, people will hold in their hands the most infamous manga in history."

For adapting the work, Giffen was given a tight Japanese-to-English translation of the story, but his assignment was by no means just to tweak a translation. "I told him to do what he felt he had to do," Paniccia said. "I told him to Giffenize it."

It was a charge Giffen was more than happy to accept. "It's a good story that Takami is telling," Giffen said. "What I do is go in and make bad scenes that much worse. I loved Battle Royale the movie, and also love the manga. I just wanted to do it right. I wanted to do justice to it, and I knew I couldn't get away with doing a straight translation, because it would be horrifyingly bad.

"A lot of times when you work on Japanese books, you realize that they have a different pacing from us, and they also have different visual and narrative shorthand," Giffen continued. "For example, somebody may be looking at someone else with gossamer eyes and thinking good thoughts about them, and the word balloons will just say the person's name - over and over, or spend two pages trying to get the name out. That wouldn't play with American readers.

Deceiving a Friend.

"Battle Royale had stuff like, "I have to kill you first, because you would have killed me otherwise." The translation is right on the nose. You can't give that to an American audience. Specifically, in the scene where the wicked girl almost slices her friend's head off with a sickle - in the translation, she said, 'I had to kill you before you killed me.' No way - I changed it to 'Fashion tip, red's not your color,' as the dead girl lies on the floor in a growing pool of blood.

"There was another line, during the orientation where the students want to know what Mr. Kamon did to the lady at the orphanage. The scene of what he did is pretty graphic, and the original translation had him saying, 'Oh, I sexually assaulted her.'

"I wanted to make it worse. I changed it to, 'With the right persuasion, she was more than willing to share it around.' Not quite as literal as the translation, but it clearly, clearly expresses just how sleazy and reprehensible Kamon is. That's the way it is with all the graphic content in the book - it's there, and some of it is even of a sexual nature, but it's not like you're going to enjoy it for its own sake. It's my job to make sure you don't."

It's a tightrope, Giffen explained, that he has to walk in adapting the work for American readers. Go too far, and you can end up writing your own story. Don't go far enough, and you end up with a jumbled mess that halts the story.

WARNING! VERY GRAPHIC IMAGE - the price of being deceived

"To do this right, you've got to keep the basic flavor of the original work - this is a guy who wrote the original novel who's doing this, so you can't go in and completely rework it and change it around, but you've got to filter it for American audiences," Giffen said. "You've got to massage it a little bit and see if you can move it just to a place where an American audience will appreciate it.

"Being able to go in there and while keeping the tone, tweaking it a little bit, I'm able to put my voice in. Rather than making it 'mine' though I'm doing a lovely two-part harmony with Takami. It's not my story, so I try to remain true to the spirit of the work. Sometimes that means dropping a colloquialism or adding blocks of copy that will allow the American audience to understand it the same way a Japanese audience would. The key rule that I always keep in mind though is: don't violate the story, don't violate the work."

But even for the creator of Lobo, Battle Royale can occasionally offer Giffen some material that is a challenge to take from simply bad to worse. "There are scenes coming up that poleaxed me," Giffen said. "This is intense shit. Brutally intense, and it does freeze me in my tracks sometimes. I'm no stranger to the gutter, but there are two scenes coming up where I had to call Mark and ask if he was sure we wanted to reprint them."

At the same time though, Giffen echoed Panaccia's sentiments on the work and how, while the violence can be frankly, distasteful at points, the emotional connection Takami creates between the readers and characters keeps you hooked.

"It's not just kids slaughtering one another," Giffen said. "It's fascinating because there's all this background there of who these kids are, and why they react the way they do to this horrific situation. For example, when Akamatsu climbs on the roof with the crossbow and becomes the game's first killer, Takami takes the time to show you why the gentlest, nicest kid in the class has become this cold-blooded killer.

"The most reprehensible acts are not by any means excused, and they're not always explained, but you see incidents in the person's past where, because of particular life experiences, characters act in certain ways when confronted with this horrific situation. It's really well thought out."

While he's able to admire the approach Takami took with the characters, Giffen also reiterates Paniccia's admonition about the series. "This is in no way, shape or form for kids," Giffen said. "This really, really is an adult comic, just due to the intensity of the content, from the ideas behind it, to the graphic depictions of the actions. There's more than just the violence, there's more than just the controversy. There's a lot of stuff going on here. It's not for kids. It's a multi-layered story. It sure as hell ain't your daddy's comics, I'll give you that much.

"But maybe it will open a few doors. My son and his friends are in the 18-19 year old group, and they're dying to see it. There's a real hunger for manga out there, and so far Tokyopop has managed to corner the female market, as well as the manga enthusiast market. Battle Royale can kick open that door even farther - it's much, much more accessible a book to the straight, standard comic book fan than a lot of other manga product out there. It's very linear, very straightforward. The art is obviously manga, but no so far out there that the American sensibility falls apart. It's going to be an interesting project. Even if it's not the most popular book they publish, it's certainly going to be the most infamous. That said though, kudos to Tokyopop for publishing the manga series of a property that the American film companies were terrified to release the movie of. It puts Warners and Sony and Fox to shame."

With the first volume due in May, Paniccia said that Tokyopop has the rights to reprint the first eight volumes of the manga, and he's planning in his adapter sticking around for the run.

"Keith seems to be having the time of his life so I hope he sticks with it for the grand finale," Paniccia said. "It wouldn't be the same without him."

And that sounds fine by Giffen. "It's a kick when you get to contribute in some way to something that you originally came upon as a fan, and just love, as I do with Battle Royale," Giffen said. "I was happy to contribute however little I could to Battle Royale, and wouldn't mind give some other manga series a try. I just wish I could get my hands on Love Hina…"

#battle royale #batoru rowaiaru #バトル・ロワイアル #manga #horror manga #gore manga #mangacap #keith giffen #takami koushun #Masayuki Taguchi #tokyopop #interview #text

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mamthew · 4 years

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I finished Persona 5 Royal, after 135 hours. My feelings on the new content are mostly very positive, though do I have a few issues with it. Here's a suuuuuper long write-up first about Persona 5 and then about Royal. This is gonna have full spoilers for both versions of the game, so keep that in mind if spoilers for either game bother you. Persona 5 is my favorite game of all time for several reasons. The first is how masterfully it's written. Not necessarily line-to-line (and certainly not in the English localization, which could've used a few more weeks of edits to make the sentences sound more natural), but in its structure, thematic unity, and use of allusions to achieve that unity. The first two-thirds of the game are presented through a complex and well-orchestrated frame device that's honestly just a treat to experience. It presents the player with a glance at each upcoming story beat without the context to understand it, then lets them piece together the context as they go, giving the whole game a sense of mystery even as the player inhabits the characters at the center of the mystery. It also uses concepts from Jungian psychology to tell its story, most notably character archetypes, which means players can use knowledge of the archetypes to better understand aspects of the characters and their stories. It's beautiful, and it means that I often fall down rabbit-holes researching the allusions made and finding the connections they have to the story. The other reason Persona 5 is my favorite game is much more personal, but it actually played a major role in my radicalization (or if you're uncomfortable with such terminology, political reawakening). The game released in early April of 2017, only a few months after Trump took office, and partway through my first semester back at school after my five year...break. The game is about fighting back against societal injustice. It starts out small, with a high school teacher who abuses his students, but moves up to people with increasingly greater power exploiting increasingly larger swaths of the population: a famous artist using his clout to steal his students' livelihoods, a mafia boss stealing money from the people of his neighborhood, a CEO overworking and underpaying his employees while jockeying for a political position, a government prosecutor who fabricates evidence to maintain her perfect record, and finally a member of the Diet running for Prime Minister who uses populist rhetoric but only cares about gaining personal power. As in previous games, each protagonist gains their powers by awakening to their Persona (essentially publicly performing as their true, unfiltered selves), but in this game, the process is physically painful, bordering on body horror. The act of tearing off the masks so tightly glued to the characters' faces is cast in a similar light to putting on the glasses in "They Live:" doing so is painful and frightening, but allows each character to see the world for what it is, without the filter of the justifying ideological framework. In the last dungeon of the game, the characters invade the physical manifestation of the justifying framework, which takes the form of a prison in which the prisoners beg to be left inside, as the idea of freedom from the prison terrifies them. A vein running from each of their cells sucks out their life force, vampirically, and directs that life force into the manifestation of the concept of hierarchical structures itself, portrayed as the holy grail - a reference to Marx's Capital. This holy grail - which to Marx was wealth - is revealed to be a false god created by the masses because they wanted a god. However, it grew so powerful that now the masses serve it, rather than the other way around. It created its own artificial collective unconscious, barring its subjects from participating in a true collective unconscious free of its influence. At the very beginning of the game, a voice directly tells the player they may only play Persona after agreeing that the events of the game are entirely fictional, and any similarities to the real world are entirely coincidental. The game will not start until the player indicates that they agree to those terms. That voice is revealed to be the holy grail itself, implying that to refuse to compare fictional works to the real world or "get political" about these stories is to submit yourself to the justifying ideology. That's some powerful stuff, and grounding it in real-life examples of exploitation while following characters suffering from that exploitation made it hard to ignore, especially in the wake of the 2015-2016 rise of Fascism and at a time when I was back to studying literary analysis. The game seems specifically crafted to induce a radicalization in its players. It has a scene in which the characters attain class consciousness. For a chunk of the story, the characters try to fight against manufactured consent, as they are framed by the media and authority figures as dangerous villains just for taking a nonviolent stand against rapists, billionaires killing their employees, and corrupt officials. The citizenry believes it almost unquestioningly. The protagonists are often visibly enraged at the exploitation they see - much of which is based on specific real-world events - and the internal logic of the story suggests that this rage is the only moral response. Every aspect of the game bolsters these themes of hierarchy, exploitation, and rebellion, giving the game a thematic unity unlike any I've ever seen before. Even the smallest NPCs have full storylines running in the background that highlight the ways even these nameless characters are exploited, and the ways they've been socialized to accept this exploitation. Every book, every song lyric, every reference to a food item, every damn fictional allusion in a game ABOUT FICTIONAL ALLUSIONS ties back in some way to that larger theming. The thematic unity of this game sings, and playing it was unlike anything I'd experienced before. This game, for me, defined Leftism. I didn't put down the controller a full-blown Communist, but it gave me the tools I needed to ask the necessary questions to discard Liberalism. I probably would have gotten there eventually, and the game probably wouldn't have had quite as powerful an effect if I weren't a literary/media analysis kind of guy living in the time I was in, but even now, three years later, the game reads to me like a damn revolutionary text. So I was honestly terrified of Persona 5: The Royal, which came out at the beginning of this month. It's a rerelease of the game with added story content, including a new dungeon, a new party member, the return of a deceased party member, and a new ending. That's a lot to add onto a really fun game with unprecedented thematic unity that also helped me to redefine myself and my positions on...literally everything. If they messed with this unity for the sake of adding unnecessary content, it would heavily alter the game's effect, and my own personal understanding of the game, forever. That's not to say that the game couldn't be improved. The localization was kinda shoddy, it occasionally drifts into male gaze shit (glaringly so in the 2D animated cutscenes, which makes me wonder if the animation studio had different ideas about the project than the devs did), there are two scenes which are virulently homophobic, and the devs had originally planned for another party member who they had to scrap for time. The two homophobic scenes especially have made it difficult to recommend the game, as I've always had to add the caveat of "...but it completely undermines its own central thesis twice for cheap laughs and it's disgusting." I wasn't sure, however, that a rerelease would fix any of these issues, and I was really worried that adding ~25 hours of gameplay after the dungeon about the justifying ideology and the holy grail would undermine too much of what made the game so revolutionary to me. There is no larger threat to humanity than the ideological framework justifying capitalism, so I worried that moving away from that for the length of a whole-ass Kingdom Hearts game would make the game less effective. From a storytelling perspective, the party member they advertised they would bring back to life is an unambiguous villain, and I worried that bringing him back would both undermine the sacrifice from his death scene and rehabilitate the character, neither of which I wanted. The new party member was not the character they had planned for and cut, and her story as it was advertised did not involve her being exploited by people in power in any way. Rather, she's a star athlete and honors student whose success was attributed to her sense of personal responsibility, which runs pretty counter to the game's themes. I also worried that adding a new dungeon worth of gameplay would mean getting rid of the part at the end of the game where the protagonist willingly turns himself in and spends several months imprisoned, so that he can testify against one of the villains of the game. The thought of losing that bittersweet ending definitely didn't sit right with me. As I said at the beginning, my feelings on the new content are mostly positive. Before getting into pure spoiler territory, I'll say there's no going back to the original now that this version exists. They redesigned every dungeon and boss fight, retooled the battle system, added a LOT more voice acting to scenes where there hadn't been any, added a ton of new scenes further fleshing out characters and the setting, retranslated the worse lines from the localization (it's still not perfect but it's much improved), added new gameplay mechanics and personas, added a bunch of great new music, expanded on Tokyo, and FIXED THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOMOPHOBIC SCENES. I now actually really like the two nameless characters who were in the original just straight up predators, as they've been rewritten into overenthusiastic drag queens who get excited at the thought of introducing nervous kids interested in drag to the scene. They improved on dungeon crawling, too: the newly added grapple hook mechanic introduces a fun verticality to the dungeon designs, stealth is more challenging and rewarding, and each dungeon has new optional collectibles. They reimagined the procedurally generated dungeon you explore over the course of the game, too, giving it more room types, more music, a currency unique to the dungeon, a merchant, and ways to level up money, experience, and item rewards from the enemies in the dungeon. As for the new story content, the extra 25 hours of gameplay is not...counter to the themes of the game. Instead, it's set up as a story about Revolution vs. Reform. The question it poses to the people of its now-too-content Tokyo is "would you join the Phantom Thieves?" which translates more to something on the order of "if these exploitative systems still existed, but didn't really hurt you or anyone you know, would you still care enough to fight against them?" The new villain co-opts the place formerly held by the Holy Grail and uses it to rewrite reality to one in which everything is basically the same, but almost everyone in the city has everything they want (with the notable and noticeable exceptions of homeless people and service workers). The central conflict, especially to the characters who have regained lost loved ones, is whether they should still fight for a better world if most people are fairly happy. Tokyo never ends up agreeing that they would join the Phantom Thieves, but the crew still end up determining that they must restore the real world, because a world in which people are still critical of the justifying ideology has a path to a better world, while one in which people are uncritical will never find that path. It's a complex and interesting take from the beginning, and even moreso when the game uses imagery from the mythologies of the garden of Eden and Prometheus. The other dungeons correspond to deadly sins, but this one instead corresponds to "sorrow." The villain is so afraid of his own grief and the grief of others that he refuses to allow anyone to take risks, even if success would improve the world. The three new confidant arcs are well thought-out and engaging, too, especially the arc with the villainous party member, whose actor absolutely chews the scenery in this game. In the new story, he's so angry about being forced into a reality on someone else's terms that he fights tooth and nail to return to the old reality, where he was at least able to die on his own terms. It's...not as emotional as the game wants it to be, but it's a really fun time. Each party member also gets a mini arc in which they come to terms with what they would lose by returning to the old reality, and acknowledges how much personal growth they would lose by staying. These culminate a new ending in which each party member finds a way to work to regain some of what they had lost by restoring reality, going their separate ways in the process. The new content has a bit of a Persona 4 vibe, in that it's much more personal and contemplative, and the characters find strength by maturing and uncovering avenues to personal growth. As Atlus has pretty consistently existed both in the shadow of Persona 4's popularity and with the pressing need to make up for Persona 4's failings, it's not a bad angle. I do have some minor issues with the new story. It still means that there is no downtime after the original final boss, so newcomers won't really have much opportunity to consider the implications of that dungeon and boss before being thrust into another conflict. Its ending is not quite as clear-cut as the original ending, either. The protagonist still turns himself in, but the story basically...switches back to that reality a week before his release, meaning it's not nearly as much of a sacrifice and it's a decision this version of the protagonist technically didn't make for himself. The situation is probably also clearer to people who've played the original game than to newcomers. The old ending is kind of "required reading" for fans; it's still the canon ending for Scramble where the new one is not, and the new one is more impactful to players who've already experienced the original ending. This creates a major predicament when recommending this game to new players. Do I tell them to purposely not fulfil the requirements to get the new ending, then replay a 130+ hour game a second time? Should they keep a save at around the 85 hour mark, so they can reload their save and retread the 20 or so hours of game they've already experienced to get to the new stuff? There's no good answer, which is irritating. At least the original ending is included in this version, so those are options, but it's frustrating that I can't just recommend one or the other without caveats that are also huge time sinks. I dunno how to end this, and it's much longer than it probably should be, so I'll say that this game is extremely important to me, and I'm impressed that Royal is not less important to me. I sure hope we get a release date for the worldwide release of Scramble soon.

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal

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etudesceltiques · 5 years

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august to do

[Royal Irish Academy, MS 23F19, 89v (detail)]

@gradblrchallenge day 1: goals (and now for real. the goals are just the things I have to get done, which is... a lot)

aha, the long awaited (except not really) august to do/goals post. It’s a behemoth, so beware. gonna do a read more probably because this gets really long. also it’s bilingual because that’s how my brain works (things I do in English get English to dos, things I do in Dutch get Dutch to dos, some things get mixed up, it’s a mess but it works). Short version (for more detail (a lot more detail) see read more):

camp finances (the sooner the better)

thesis (deadline august 18)

contact student desk to shuffle some things around on my transcript (before my thesis is registered...)

jaarplanning OJN 2019-2020 (august 15)

witboek Asterix

witboek OJN

business cards Asterix

figure out what I want to do with work from september onwards (how many hours, what days &c.)

I’m planning on looking at this weekly to see how on track I am, if I need to get a move on &c., and also to check if there is stuff I need to add/remove or change.

camp finances

materials

put in the last few things

compare to budget, make notes for next year

deposit leftover cash (whenever I’m close to the bank)

Thesis: final version! (deadline: august 18)

charms index

notes made on hard copy

final check

read email A

read feedback/comments on v.1 (part 1)

decide what to do with new charms on handout

Introduction

intro

research question

historical context (not completely happy with it tho)

historiographical review

relevance

defining a charm

terminology

characteristics

power

charm vs prayer

sections

edition

editorial practice

transcription & edition

analysis

translation

comparison

words of power

peperit

sator

letters

vocables

latin

placement

cat 1: delivery

cat 2: menstruation

cat 3: fertility

template

conclusion

front page

check spelling, bibliography, layout

fix numbering issues

footnotes, cross-references

plagiarism statement (!)

anything else I add as I come across it lol (also incidentally y’all now have a pared down table of contents of my ma thesis, congrats)

witboek Asterix

write bit on:

SVO

VIDIUS

KB-taken

Dropbox

mailbox with website

check per function

voorzitter / chair

secretaris / secretary

penningmeester / treasurer

commissaris activiteiten / director of activities

commissaris onderwijs / director of education

PR-functionaris / PR manager

put everything together

witboek OJN

Voorzitter

Secretaris

Penningmeester

Commissaris intern/extern/PR (whatever we called that)

other stuff like

kvk

archives

other stuff as I come across it/think of it

#gradblrchallenge #now with irish manuscript!!#all the ms headers are from manuscripts I'm using in my thesis btw #jsyk #to do #august to do #august goals

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askblueberrymuffin · 5 years

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REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY.

RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! good luck !

TAGGED. @vertebralheights sorta? TAGGING. I dunno, do what u want

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Sans Gaster

NICKNAME: Blueberry, Muffin, Blue

AGE: 23

BIRTHDAY: July 1st, 20XX

ETHNIC GROUP: Skeleton/Shadow Monster

NATIONALITY: Underground??

LANGUAGE(S): English, Wingdings(?)

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Asexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Forever alone Single

CLASS: Middle class? Maybe upper middle when their mom was around?

HOMETOWN / AREA: Snowdin

CURRENT HOME: Still Snowdin, same house and everything

PROFESSION: Sentry, but he’ll likely pursue higher education soon

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Skeleton?

EYES: Usually cerulean blue.

NOSE: Nope

FACE: Boney (har har)

LIPS: Still skeleton

COMPLEXION: Guess what? Skeleton

WEIGHT: Like, 9 lbs.

BUILD: Bony boi

FEATURES: Solid shadow? In skull and ribcage? Also tiny nubby tail

ALLERGIES: Straight up a magic skeleton

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: No?

USUAL FACE LOOK: A bright smile

USUAL CLOTHING: So many sweaters. Too many sweaters. And baggy pants. And cerulean boots. Of course all topped off with his scarf, tied as a bandana.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): His brothers dying, Cake killing himself(again), Cake self harming(more), being abandoned, hurting others, using others, being alone, fire, being burned, the kitchen, ice picks, chisels, sledge hammers, lighters, people getting hurt because of him, people dying because of him-- *SLAPS ROOF OF SANS* THIS BAD BOI CAN FIT SO MANY FEARS and he hides them all so they never get any better, someone help him oh my god--

ASPIRATION(S) : He wants to help others however he can. He also would really like to be come a scientist, but he puts that aside for the former

POSITIVE TRAITS: Excitable, loving, affectionate, intelligent, optimistic, resourceful, adaptable, perseverance, determination, overwhelming kindness and forgiveness

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Depressed, fakes many emotions, fakes many situations, fakes his persona, shoves his own feelings aside constantly, takes all the blame, always takes the fall, forgives instantly, never blames anyone, too trusting, can be absent minded, easily distracted, never honest about his own feelings to other or to himself, won’t tell people when they’re hurting him, will do almost anything you tell him, he’s entirely too codependent, his entire life revolves around his brothers, if you take that away he doesn’t know who he is anymore, he’s content now but if he were to ever not be, that is a very, very steep slope with no coming back. Get this baby a therapist, someone.

ZODIAC: A hecking crab Cancer

TEMPERAMENT: He only gets upset when bad stuff happens to others or they talk bad about themselves. Otherwise you could literally stab him and-- WAIT people literally did torture him and he was not at all upset! Ahhh--

SOUL TYPE(S): Monster Soul?

ANIMALS: Probably some kind of dog. He’d be the goodest good boy.

VICE HABIT(S): He stress bakes and stress cleans. Don’t take that for innocence as he’s tried other things. A lot of other things. But he has 1 HP, hates the choking feel of smoke and can’t get drunk if his life depended on it. ...Perhaps it isn’t so innocent though, looking at all he does.

FAITH: Who needs gods when you’re a massive science nerd

GHOSTS?: Yes?

AFTERLIFE?: He believes there is none. A part of him hopes he is wrong.

REINCARNATION?: He’s a science nerd, he hasn’t put much thought into this stuff.

ALIENS?: He believes with the vastness of the universe, likely? He wants to meet one.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Heavy shrugging? He only wishes the Queen were more open.

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: None in particular

SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: He’s content where things are.

EDUCATION LEVEL: High school. He hopes to change this now that they actually have money--

FAMILY.

FATHER: Wingdings Gaster

MOTHER: D̵̀́͟͜r̶̶̶̛̕.̴̀ ̷̡̨̢P̶̧e̢̡̕n̷̷̨̧u̴̶m̡̛͘͠͠b̧͞͠r̴̷̨͞ą̧̛͘ ̸̨G̴̡͜͜͠a̵͜s̢̀͜t̢e͠҉̕͟r̷͏̢̢̀

SIBLINGS: Papyrus ‘Cake’ Gaster (younger), Papyrus ‘Rex’ (older)

EXTENDED FAMILY: Sakura Shalie (niece), Martin Magnus (nephew)

NAME MEANING(S): I dunno, ask their mom OH WAIT-- (imsorry)

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: His mom was the royal scientist, while his dad killed the human who possessed the soul of integrity. Perhaps in certain timelines caused by a certain human, he may have been more historically important (winkwinknudgenudge)

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Pffff-- Textbooks, old scientific studies, non-fiction, history texts, books on space, really just picture anything nerdy. He loves it. Oh yeah, and sci-fi.

MOVIE: The first Star Wars film, he will fight

5 SONGS: Dollhouse, Sleeping Powder, More Than Words, Squid Melody [Blue Version], Cut My Hair

DEITY: Can I just put Phil Swift here? I’m doing it.

HOLIDAY: Christmas

MONTH: July. Birthday time!

SEASON: Indifferent. They all seem the same to him.

PLACE: Quiet places no one else can reach

WEATHER: Storms. Rain storms on the surface.

SOUND: Laughter

SCENT(S): Laundry, baking, cooking

TASTE(S): He loves tomatoes? In juice, sandwiches, food in general? Yeah.

FEEL(S): Warm, soft, physical contact with other living beings.

ANIMAL(S): He loves dogs? All dogs. So many dogs. He wants to pet them all. All dogs.

NUMBER: 9 now. XD

COLORS: He likes orange and blue. He says his favourite colours are his dad’s eyes. Which sounds adorable tbh--

EXTRA.

TALENTS: He’s a little smarty pants with a good memory. Helpful for science, helpful for reloads. He’s decent at cooking and is much, much to physically strong for his 1 HP?? He also has quite the great handle on his magic. Fighting him isn’t fun, at all. He’s only been fairly beaten once. He’s empathetic, great at reading people and a masterful deceiver. He could be a super villain with his manipulation abilities tbh, but he just hates the idea of using people.

BAD AT: He acts before he thinks. He switches from topic to topic and overpowers conversation. He’s quick to defend others and gets himself hurt like this more often than not, and mentally he’s an absolute wreck. He can be overbearing and clingy though, especially to those close to him. The more paranoid he becomes, the more annoying he seems in these ways.

HOBBIES: Reading, cooking, cleaning. He’s starting to get back into actual hobbies like reading with Rex around. He used to just not have them.

TROPES: He is about the best supporting ally and mom friend one can be. His best quality is being able to lift people up high. He however, cannot do this to himself.

AESTHETIC TAGS: #space , #baking

GPOY QUOTES: ((I don’t know what this is--))

FC INFO.

MAIN FC(S): No

ALT FC(S): Nope

OLDER FC(S): Nuh-uh

YOUNGER FC(S): Nadda

VOICE CLAIM(S): ((I have no idea?? The closest would be Cryaotic but I honestly have no idea the specifics))

GENDERBENT FC(S): Nah

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: if you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?: If I were to write it??? It would turn into something psychological or horror related. Blue would fit wonderfully in a deconstruction of the human(or i guess skeleton??) mind. Hopefully it’d be about him seeming alright but being an absolute mess and managing to realize there is indeed a problem and work through his issues with friends, family and some professional help. That’d be lovely.

Q2: what would their soundtrack / score sound like?: He listens to anything catchy, though likes chiptune and electronica. He’d probably make his own soundtrack out of other video game soundtracks though, he’s a doofus.

Q3: why did you start writing this character?: I... Don’t know?? Huh. Guess I did a little bit about... Three years back? I didn’t do a whole lot with him, but that’s around when he met his niece and nephew. Hm.

Q4: what first attracted you to this character?: Papyrus is my favourite undertale character. Sans is my second favourite. Mash them together and what do you get? A cool science boy! A sad cool science boy that covers his pain with laughter and smiles. Someone help him.

Q5: describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse: He won’t let anyone in, in any way that matters. He’s affectionate to everyone and it would be so easy to use and abuse him. He so strong in some areas and so weak in others. His whole life is his brothers and I’m often lost as to what I should make him do as he doesn’t keep hobbies really due to being busy. He never sleeps, works himself to exhaustion and picks everyone up despite being hurt himself. He thinks he knows what he is but he’s wrong. He thinks he’s fine but he’s not. He denies these problems in himself so hard that even he’s deceived by his act. It’s frustrating in a way even if it is interesting? As a writer I want to break him apart and crush him but as a person I want someone, anyone to finally see through this and HELP him. But no matter the hints I give or things I mention, no one has tried. I suppose he just hides it too well. Ahh...

Q6: what do you have in common with your muse?: Super depressed! Uh-- Ha, put up a mask. Hide pain with jokes. Try to see the silver lining in situations. Loooove space. And science. Psychology’s a huge yes.

Q8: what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?: Citrus is always neat. Rex and him also have an extremely interesting dynamic. Fluff and him are adorable and fun, and I want so much more of them. Sakura’s is hilarious because she’s literally a god in her multiverse and she’s just accepted him as being able to break all laws of space and time

Q9: what gives you inspiration to write your muse?: The interactions and dynamics he creates with other characters as well as the unique story and plot aspects that can be created!

Q10: how long did this take you to complete?: At least two hours. Maybe longer. Oh jeez--

#meme #blueberry #ooc #maybe #too long #so long #ahhhh #tag #kill me

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1100

[created by: vyvyan86]

If someone's laughing, do you instantly think they're laughing at you? I mean, not automatically? People can be laughing for many reasons. But if they’re laughing near me and if I even catch them looking at me from time to time, then it can definitely make me feel paranoid.

What is the strangest thing you've been asked? I’ve said this before, but a masseuse who came to the house a couple of years ago once looked at me intently and asked if I’ve gotten pregnant before. When I asked my mom about her, she explained that that particular masseuse has a third eye. Of course I didn’t buy it, but it was a fascinating scenario nonetheless and I still liked the fact that out of everyone in the family, she had only ~sensed something with me.

What’s the weirdest thing about life that people just accept as normal? Homelessness.

What was your favorite game as a child? I liked playing Diner Dash, Insaniquarium, and Cake Mania on my dad’s laptop. Our parents didn’t keep a strict eye on us as well and we were allowed access to Grand Theft Auto games at a young age, which ended up being one of my all-time favorite video game series.

What’s the stupidest thing you've ever heard? There’s a lot of crazy fake news that have come out over the last few years; I can’t really tell which one is stupidest, but they all are to some extent.

What's the most random thing you've done out of boredom? Make spreadsheets about stuff I will never have to refer to. It’s a great way to be distracted/occupied, so I don’t shy away from starting one whenever I feel the need to.

What show did your parents not let you watch as a kid? Mr. Bean. My mom didn’t like the character’s antics and she especially hated how he technically doesn’t talk, since she felt like it would have an effect on how we learned language (we mainly learned English from the TV) and the way we speak.

What is your personal catchphrase? I say, “Awesome!” when I’m pleased with something, which is a habit I picked up from Gabie. I also tend to say “For real?” whenever I’m surprised.

What is the most pleasurable feeling that doesn't involve anything sexual? I like being given lazy scratches on my wrist or leg. It’s also nice when someone plays with my hair, but it depends on who’s doing it; sometimes I’ll find it too invasive.

What was your 'Oops, wrong person' moment? This doesn’t happen a lot to me, fortunately. For the most part, it’s only been instances from childhood when I mistakenly held on to a stranger’s hand instead of either of my parents’.

What do you find attractive that isn't considered 'normal' attraction? I’m not particularly attracted to muscles or fit bodies in general; a little bit of flab or what the internet calls ~dad bod~ has always been more than alright with me.

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done drunk? Nearly fall asleep in a swimming pool, or go on a loud rant about someone while that someone was still within earshot.

What's your proudest moment in the bathroom? I have no idea what this means, and I don’t want to ask.

What’s something you own that gets you lots of compliments? Some clothes/shoes I have. Also, my car back when I placed reindeer antlers and a red nose on it a few Christmases ago haha.

If money was no object, where would you want to live? If that was the case, I’d be in New York City right now.

Who is your favorite mythological character? I never took a liking to mythology and the creatures associated with it.

What's something that's happened which couldn't happen at a worse time? My breakup. We were also recently informed that my mom has been retrenched sooooooo life isn’t particularly dandy at the moment. I’ve stopped complaining about my heavy daily workload and have instead felt grateful for it, because at least it keeps me occupied enough and not think about the stuff happening at home.

What is the best pickup line you've ever heard? I don’t like pickup lines.

What did aging ruin for you? My back and my eyesight.

What is the most hilarious thing you’ve ever heard? Ugh, questions like these are impossible to answer. Off the top of my head, I’ll go with this video.

What is the darkest thing you have seen on the internet? Crime scene photos, beheading videos, and corpses. There have also been other stuff but they’d be too triggering if I tried to describe what they are.

What's something you really enjoy, but can't have? I can’t have milkshakes unless I’m fine with the stomachaches I will inevitably get after.

What Wikipedia article have you recently read? So I watched Royal Rumble yesterday (I haven’t kept up with wrestling in years, but I always come back for the big pay-per-views) and there’s this female wrestlerI think I’ll soon develop a full-blown crush on. I wanted to look her up and I learned that she’s Rhea Ripley, so I briefly read up on her life and career.

What's a book you were made to read in school that you really liked? Without Seeing the Dawn will always be my favorite. Taking it up in English class was never a chore for me. Number the Stars was a great read too, as was Dekada ‘70.

What objective did you fail to complete this week? I haven’t worked out at all this week, which I should’ve been able to do twice already according to the workout plan I’m currently subscribed to. But it’s fine, I’ll just try to catch up.

What could have gotten worse for you but it didn't? Work. I kept making a million mistakes during my first two months and thought I’d never get the hang of it, and I was just waiting to get fired immediately lol. But everything’s going smoothly now - I’m not as lost as I used to be, and I’ve even taken to tutoring some of the newer hires.

What subject should be taught at schools, but isn't? I’d have appreciated it if we had been taught or at least briefed on how to obtain crucial government IDs and documents. I didn’t exactly enjoy walking through everything by myself and being expected to know what to do.

What is the best thing about having a Significant Other? Oh my god, everything. I loved and treasured being in a relationship. I appreciated even the arguments because it made me get better at communicating, know how and when to apologize, and how to be more in tune with another person’s feelings. But my favorite part about it would probably be having a person to share everything about yourself and your life to. I’ve learned to be okay being by myself, but I feel the loneliness the hardest when I’m going through a rough patch and remembering that I no longer having someone to turn to.

What makes you unusually uncomfortable? Injections, blood tests, anaesthesia, anything that’s meant to prick my skin.

What is an upcoming purchase you're excited about? I don’t plan on making any purchases soon. Maybe a couple boxes of macarons with 25 pieces each for my birthday to treat myself?? but that’s the only one I’ve been planning.

What is the worst game you've ever played? When I was still taking PE, I dreaded it every time we had to play basketball or water polo.

What’s the oddest thing you like to do? I really like doing tedious tasks, like inputting things into a spreadsheet or writing out lists. I think I’d be a great secretary. < Yeah same. Literally what I said earlier about the spreadsheets.

What's the funniest news story you've seen in the past few weeks? Some fixers at the LTO who approached the mayor of a nearby city to convince him that they can fast-track whatever business he’s in for there, not knowing he’s the fucking mayor. What a mess lmfao.

What do you really really want right now? For things to go back to normal. My parents are very secretive about finances - probably because they don’t want us to worry - but I hate not knowing if I could even turn on the fan or any of our lights anymore. I also hate that I feel guilty whenever I buy things for myself knowing that both my parents are in sticky situations.

What do you hide from people? Things going on in my personal life. I will refer to my problems in social media posts occasionally, but would never provide enough context for people to know more about my life than I’m comfortable with.

What was the first sign you knew you had a crush on someone? I got increasingly nervous around them and I just wanted to be with them all day and listen to their stories and buy them food and stuff. Also, I knew when I started crying over them. Hahahaha man this just made me feel so nostalgic. I miss that feeling of first falling in love with someone.

What's the best lemonade you've made from the lemons life gave you? The self-love, self-acceptance, and self-validation I gained after my breakup felt and continues to feel wonderful. I never realized how much of myself I sacrificed and gave away. I will never do that again and will always make sure to leave more than enough room for myself in the future.

Who was your cartoon crush while growing up? Sam from Totally Spies and Shego from Kim Possible.

What's the best way to deal with religious door knockers? We don’t have those here. But I imagine just telling them “No thanks” and closing my door.

What’s the most hypocritical thing you’ve ever seen or heard? My mom is a big hypocrite in general; she exhibits some behaviors that she would typically chew me out for. But she would never admit to that; that, or she wouldl use mental gymnastics to convince me that the way I’m doing the thing is wrong and that her version is the acceptable one.

Who’s the most interesting person you’ve ever met? Probably one of the artists at Pinto Museum. Every time I’ve gone there, he’s always standing at the first gallery - he looks like your typical visitor, but I’ve come to realize he actually scans the museum looking for people who are genuinely into the artworks and not just there to shoot photos. I know, because he has always ended up approaching me and whoever I’m with at the time so that he can explain every single painting. He’s done the same thing with me - I think he keeps forgetting me, but it’s fine - 2-3 times, with the same spiels and same interesting explanations and anecdotes. In the end he always reveals that he painted a number of the works in the museum and for his sake I will always try to act surprised, haha. Anyway, he’s brilliant and very talented, and always has great stories to tell.

What just doesn't impress you? Certain movies that are meant to be hailed as one of the greats.

What’s the worst possible way to introduce yourself? By being an ass from the get-go, I suppose.

What makes you wish that you were born in the past or the future? I hate missing out on things when I’m already around, which is why I often wish I could live long enough to see what advancs and developments we could be capable of reaching in the future. Would we find a cure for cancer? Will I get to see my country get richer and more developed like it has always deserved to? Will travel to outer space be a thing? It’s stuff like that I’d love to see happen and the idea of potentially missing out on them because maybe they’re not meant to happen in my lifetime kinda bums me out.

What tragic event was coincidentally beneficial to you? I started loving the shit out of myself from my breakup. I thought I was already comfortable with who I was and where I was in life, but I soon learned that I could be doing so much more for myself, self-esteem-wise.

What's something people are proud of, but it doesn't impress you? Wealth, usually, especially if it’s generational. < True. Also, fucking watches? I’ll never understand the need for watches that cost a million pesos when I could easily stomp on them lmao.

What's the worst possible moment to go and play on a bouncy castle? Doing it with an upset stomach.

Who is the greatest ever comedian? I don’t know about greatest. I certainly don’t watch enough comedians to make such a choice.

What’s your irrational fear? Sometimes I’ll get an irrational urge to do something stupid and/or dangerous. For instance I was in Tagaytay last weekend, on the 20th floor of a condo and to my surprise, the windows could be opened and they didn’t have any bars either. As I opened a window I thought about jumping and it freaked me out, so much so I immediately closed it and never went back to it. I believe there’s a word for this phenomenon in a foreign language; I just can’t remember what it is now.

What's your oldest memory? Waking up inside a Winnie the Pooh tent with my sister when I was 3, she 1. My parents let us go ‘camping,’ even though the tent was simply set up on the floor of our bedroom.

What can you not wake up without? Greeting my dogs.

What did you think was cool when you were younger that you now think isn’t? Side bangs.

What are your favorite or most memorable lines from any movie/show? “I would ask you to consider your response in light of the respect that my rank and office deserve, not that which my age and gender might suggest.” from The Crown. Holy shit that line was so good. I’ll need to rewatch this showagain.

What's something people love to hate? Mainstream culture. < Very true.

What’s something that is underrated but extremely useful? Car adaptors have saved my ass so many times while driving long distances and needing to constantly use data to have access to Waze.

#survey #surveys #rly great questions too

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alarriefantasy · 7 years

Photo

Halloween Fic Rec 2017

Alien AU

Alien Harry

We've got to get away from here by @suspendrs Words: 23k

Or, Louis is an FBI agent who likes to think himself a paranormal expert, and Harry is alien that somehow ended up in his office.

A King Beside You by @alienproof Words: 26k

When the aliens invade, the last thing Louis expects is to fall in love.

Cosmic Love by @smittenwithlouis Words: 27k

Or: Louis lives in a small, desert town in the middle of nowhere Texas, yet a strange visitor manages to find Louis among the stars.

Glow by @haydolce Words: 41k

Alien AU, with a hint of Royal AU. A summer barbecue at the Tomlinson's is interrupted by a naked visitor from a peaceful planet far, far away. Can an alien and a human survive a summer together for the sake of the human race?

The Galaxy's Edge by @the-cheshire-pussy-cat Words: 113k

In which Louis is a bounty hunter with a messed up past. Harry is a prince who just wants to prove himself. Niall and Zayn have too many things to figure out together. And Liam just wants to take care of his family. Things never quite go as they are planned during a simple rescue job. Working title: Gays in Space

Angel/Demon AU

Two Different Versions of the Universe by Hazzalovescarrots Words: 11k

Harry is a demon, captured by hunters. but not just any hunters. Angels. Louis is his angel.

Even Angels Have Their Demons by @afangirlfantasy

Words: 52k

Or... an Angel/Demon AU where Angel Louis hates Demon Harry, but somewhere along the way that stops being so true.

Say Hallelujah, Say Goodnight by @alivingfire Words: 110k

Louis is an angel who is just a little too bad to be good, Harry is a demon who is just a little too good to be bad, and they're both a little too in love to be impartial when angels and demons go to war.

Run Like the Devil by @benzos Words: 137k

Supernatural AU. Louis hunts demons; Harry's the strangest demon he's ever met, and he keeps fucking meeting him.

Mermaid AU

Merman Harry

The Importance of Body Language by @zimriya Word: 11k

Harry really has no idea how he’s going to get out of this one. After the little incident with the fishing wire, he’d been told that under no circumstances was he to visit the surface of the water, as he is the heir to the throne and his safety is essential to the continued existence of their underwater society. Or something. Harry loves his mum, but there’s really only so much talk of royal duty a prince can take before he does something drastic. Like purposefully disobey her strict instructions to stay under the sea for the rest of his natural life, and instead swim too close to a human ship and get himself spotted by none other than the unfairly attractive Prince Louis Tomlinson, for example.

Needless to say, Harry is fucked.

My head's under water (but I'm breathing fine) by @infinitelymint Words: 13k

Harry's a merman, Louis is a prince. Sometimes happiness can be found at the bottom of the sea.(not a 'The Little Mermaid' AU)

Chances under the purple sunrise by @pumpkinlou Words: 28k

Or the one where Harry is a merman, prince of the Atlantic Ocean, whose curiosity and healthy envy takes over him and he steals Louis' shoes every time he fishes.

Coax the Cold by @mediawhorefics Words: 86k

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

To Embroider Your Waist With Corals by @smittenwithlouis Words: 100k

Or: All harpy Louis has known is the sky, all merprince Harry has known is the sea, except when they're together.

Merman Louis

Sirène by @canonlarry Words: 4k

Louis is a merman who turns into a human and Harry takes him home and takes him to bed.

Purer Than The Water (Like We Were) by @infinitylourry Words: 33k

Louis is a merman and Harry is a boy. The lake is a good place to fall in love.

I Know All Your Colors by @someonethatsfunny Words: 34k

The one where Louis is a mermaid and Harry meets him as a five year old boy. What happens when you meet a merboy at the tender age of five, but no one believes you? Will you listen to your parents and other adults who all tell you that you’ve imagined him or will you hold onto the memory of him for a lifetime, never willing to let him go? What if you can’t let him go because you’re pretty sure you were destined to meet and to be a part of one another’s lives? Maybe it’s down to fate.

Pirate AU

Pirate Harry

These Hands Not Fit For Holding by @achilleus Words: 46k

Or, Harry is the captain of a pirate ship, and Louis is an accidental stowaway.

Liberté by larriebane Words: 64k

AU. 1647. “Pretending you don’t have a heart is not the best way to not get it broken. It’s just the easiest.”Or the pirate AU I always wanted to write

Resist Everything Except Temptation by @domestic-harry Words: 100k

OR The one where Louis is the commodore's son who is forced to become a part of Harry's crew when he is captured.

Swim In The Smoke by @crazyupsetter Words: 101k

“What about this, Captain?” Liam asks, nudging the boy kneeling between their feet with the toe of his boot. The boy hisses and swipes at him, slurring out something unintelligible around the makeshift gag Niall had to stuff in his mouth. He misses by a mile and tries again, just as ineffectively.

Harry looks down at him, at the way the sun streams over his face and shoulders, at the way the gag stretches his mouth, lips pink and chapped. He’s lithe and pretty, smudged all over with dirt. They had found him tied up below deck, mostly unconscious, next to a barrel full of gold. He’s clearly a prisoner, but there’s something familiar about him, something that niggles at Harry’s brain. Something he can’t quite put his finger on.

“Put him in my cabin,” Harry decides, turning back to deal with the rest of the loot. The boys screams out jumbled curse words at Harry’s back, muffled by the gag, and Harry can’t understand any of it.

Pirate Louis

Gentle Rogue by @juliusschmidt Words: 15k

“Well?” Tommo prompts. “What the hell are you doing aboard my ship?”

Harry grins, “I’m here to plunder your booty.”

[Or Harry bets Nick a hundred pounds he can get Louis to sleep with him. He wins the wager and a thorough fucking.]

Sail Across Me by @canonlarry Words: 21k

Harry is a prince that is about to be forced into marriage against his will and running away to sea seems like a much better option. Louis is the captain of the infamous pirate ship The Rogue and he has a thing for helping defenseless creatures. Especially when they're as pretty as this one.

Both Pirates

Set Sail With No Compass by @zarah5 Words: 4k

Pirate AU. That's it; that's the summary.

If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky by MANGAMANIAC666 Words: 42k

"You know," He whispered. "The pirate way is to take your pretty finger with the ring. If you want to keep your lovely hand you have to give me something else of value."

Louis swallowed again, harder this time. "I don't have anything else." He mumbled worriedly. Averting his eyes.The pirate grinned. "Oh, but I think you do." ~ (Larry Stylinson version of To Catch a Pirate by Jade Parker)

Vampire AU

Vampire Harry

I Picked My Poison, And It’s You by @afangirlfantasy Words: 5k

Louis never backs down on dares. But maybe this was the one time he should have.

Feels Like Infinity by Larrymama15 Words: 21k

Louis Tomlinson is an accomplished professor and a published author, all at age 28. He has devoted his life to the study and discussion of the mythological beings known as vampires. What he hasn't prepared for is, well, meeting one.

I Will Never Rust by @myhaz Words: 38k

or Harry wants to suck more than just Louis’ blood but Louis refuses to sleep with Count Dickula.

As Cold as a Whisper by panda_bear21 Words: 48k

A fairy tale au where people in Louis' village are disappearing and Louis is married off to uphold a centuries long agreement.

Finding You Was So Hard (But Loving You Is Easy) by @lourrynavy Words: 66k

An incredibly shameless vampire!AU filled with stupid jokes, endless dates, flappy bird, a bro man dude pal sleepover thing and there also might be some sex in strange places.

Also known as the one where everyone is a vampire, Louis is oblivious and somewhere along the way it becomes a bit too much like Twilight

Waiting On You by @lads-laddylads Words: 76k

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

Luscious blood by Deidei Words: 116k

Louis Tomlinson, a human, has been living in poor living conditions together with his mother since he was born. Ever since he can remember he has loathed the stronger, faster, more developed kind that rule this world; Vampires. But will his opinion change after he meets his soul mate that is an arrogant, royal vampire named Harry Styles…

Love Endless (The Road to Recollection) by @wubwubnparmaham Words: 171k

The year is groovy 1973, and eighteen-year-old Louis Tomlinson is perhaps the gayest teen to ever grace the gloomy, hateful town of Fortwright. Would be fine if he wasn't so viciously bullied at both home and school for such a "harmful" sexual preference.

Yeah, yeah, we've all heard this story, haven't we? Believe him, Louis didn't think he was anything special either.

Until he found the mansion. The notoriously haunted mansion hidden deep within the forests of his tiny blip of a town in Bumfuck Nowhere, Idaho. No one with a brain ever goes near it, but Louis could use a little excitement in his life...and possibly a Band-Aid or two.

After discovering the mansion was less abandoned than he'd thought, he's now left with the most riveting mystery of a lifetime; every new finding leaving him with more questions. Who is this elusive owner, and why won't they show themselves? Why is there a set of journals in the same handwriting that span over centuries? Why in the world is there a padlock on the refrigerator...and who the hell is Alexander?

Vampire Louis

The Lion Man by @canonlarry Words; 12k

Louis is a vampire who loves tattoos and piercings as much as he loves a good feed. Harry is a biology student who gets dragged to a vampire bar (really, of all places) by his friends and happens to have blood that tastes like maraschino cherries. They're both a bit addicted and they're neither a bit ashamed.

A Real Boy by Centa0592 Words: 29k

The not so Twilight fic where Harry falls hopelessly in love with vampire Louis Tomlinson.

The Devil You Know by @a-writerwrites Words: 35k

Louis is a vampire. Harry is probably too curious for his own good

Witches AU

Witch/Magical Harry

Far Afield by @becomeawendybird Words: 11k

Harry Styles is a witch who owns the best flower shop in Manchester. Lottie Tomlinson is planning her wedding, and brings her brother along to her first appointment. Both men have been having a bad day and sparks fly.

Taken by the wind by @scrunchyharry Words: 12k

Or the one where Harry is a clumsy witch and Louis is making everything worse just by existing.

A Long Way Down(To The Bottom Of The River) by @mediawhorefics Words: 24k

a practical magic au in which Harry and his sister accidentally kill her abusive boyfriend with magic and Louis is the D.I working the case.

Love is divine by @alienproof Words: 25k

Being a witch doesn't help when it comes to unrequited love.

Feel the Chemicals Burn in My Bloodstream by @lourrynavy Words: 123k

Harry is a journalist with a lot of secrets and Louis is the future king of the United Kingdom; they live together for 60 days.

Witch/Magical Louis

Nocturnal Creatures Are Not So Prudent by @doncasterkitten Words: 24k

Louis is a white witch with a little black cat named Hemlock and a best human friend Liam (they're a lot like Samantha Stephens and Louise Tate). When he's dragged out to a new club Liam's heard about from a friend and classmate, Louis comes face to face with that which witches do not touch: a charming vampire by the name of Harry.

You Take Me Over, You’re the Magic in My Veins by @supernope Words: 36k

No, he thinks, he has no desire to be betrothed to Princess Gemma, but he finds he wouldn’t mind being married after all, if it was Prince Harry he was promised to, instead.

May We Stay Lost On Our Way Home by LoadedGunn Words: 74k

On March 31st, Harry Styles disappears. Though many speculate, only two people know where to find him: Niall, his former guitarist, and Zayn, who follows where Niall leads.

The fact the biggest boy band in the world broke up two weeks earlier might be related to the disappearance. The fact Harry meets a fairy named Louis in the woods is a whole other matter.

Nocturne in silver and blue @tinyweirdloves Words: 97k

louis is a fallen star and harry brings him home. told over the course of fourteen years.

#I added one more story on there sorry #made a quick edit #:) :) also sorry this is so long

379 notes · View notes

salonduthe · 6 years

Text

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial License.

Basically, you can distribute this text all over the place, as long as you always attribute it to me, you don't change a word, and you never charge anybody anything to receive it. But read the license for the full details.

-----

FOREWORD

"Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh?"

In the spring of 1994, I was handed a master's degree in film studies and politely invited not to return to graduate school in the fall. So I went to work at Dutton's, a fantastic indie bookstore in Brentwood, less than a mile from the Simpson condo, but that's another story. Doug, the owner, lets his employees borrow books from the inventory, on the principle that you can sell books better if you know them better, and that's how I discovered the Tao Te Ching (or TTC, as I'll abbreviate it from now on).

Oh, I knew about the book beforehand. I knew it existed, anyway, and I knew it was a classic of Eastern philosophy. But that's all I knew. Not that there's that much to know after that, about all anybody can really say about Lao Tzu is that according to legend, about six centuries before Christ, he got fed up with the royal court's inability to take his advice and decided to leave. Then, the story goes, he was stopped at the Great Wall by a guard who begged him to write down some of his teachings for posterity, and the result was this slim volume. Once I actually started to read the thing, I was hooked. Here was a book that managed to say with clarity what I'd been struggling to figure out about spirituality for several years.

The TTC I found at Dutton's was written by Stephen Mitchell, a version which remains popular nearly twenty years after its original composition. Having read a couple dozen translations since, it's still one of the most accessible versions I've seen, but even then, I found his style a bit too refined, too full of a certain "wisdom of the ancients" flavor. For example, here's how Mitchell starts the first chapter:

"The Tao that can be named

is not the eternal Tao.

The name that can be named

is not the eternal Name."

At the time, I was newly infatuated with the writing of Quentin Tarantino and David Mamet, so my dream version of a TTC reflected the simplicity and grit of their dialogue:

"If you can talk about it, it ain't Tao.

If it has a name, it's just another thing."

Anyway, I grabbed a couple other translations and started looking at the different ways they expressed the same sentiments--or, as I quickly discovered, how much poetic license Mitchell and other translators were willing to take with the original text. I don't think this necessarily matters all that much; many current English- language versions are by people who don't know Chinese well, if at all, and I can't read or speak it myself. To that extent, then, we're *all* (unless we're fluent in Chinese, that is) at the mercy of, at best, a secondhand understanding of what Lao Tzu said.

Once I thought I had a rough idea what was behind the words, though, I went about rephrasing the chapters in my own voice. My guiding principle was to take out as much of the "poetry" as possible, to make the text sound like dialogue, so the reader could imagine someone telling him or her what Tao's all about. You can't take the "poetry" out completely, because the TTC is always going to have those lines about Tao being an "eternal mystery" and whatnot.

But the beauty of the book isn't in its language, at least not for me--it's in the practical advice Lao Tzu offers us about how to live a productive, meaningful life on a day to day basis. What I wanted to do was to make that advice as clear to a modern American reader as it would have been to the guard who first asked Lao Tzu to write it down.

I worked through the first twenty chapters, then put the rough draft up on my website under a pseudonym I used online back in those days. A bunch of fan mail came in, so I kept plugging away at the text, then my hard drivecollapsed and all my files were completely erased. I was freelancing pretty steadily then, and what little free time I had I spent building my own website, so the TTC went on hold. I got an occasional email asking about the other chapters, and I developed a stock answer. When it was time for me to finish the job, I told people, I would.

Years went by. I'd left LA for San Francisco, then moved up to Seattle, chasing after big dotcom money. It was great for a while, but as Lao Tzu says, "If you give things too much value, you're going to get ripped off." In the middle of the worst of the frustration, I rediscovered the Tao Te Ching, and realized I needed to finish what I started.

I dug out all my old copies of the TTC and went shopping for more versions, some of which were even better than the ones I'd found the first time. Brian Browne Walker's translation comes close to the modern oral quality I was striving for, though his voice is still much more of an "Eastern sage" voice than mine. David Hinton is somewhat more poetic, but I think he does a wonderful job of capturing what Lao Tzu may have actually sounded like to his contemporaries. And Ursula K. LeGuin strikes a balance between the modern and classical voices that gave me a new perspective on Tao; her commentaries on several chapters are enlightening as well.

I wish I could say that I wrote the remaining sixty-one chapters in a hurried creative frenzy, but things took a little longer than I thought. I got distracted by the decision to move to New York City, and though I did get some work done on the book, it was a little over a year later, when (and, yes, I know how cliched this sounds) the planes crashed into the World Trade Center and I realized I'd still been wasting too much of my life on things that didn't pan out. Instead of talking about getting serious about my life, it was time to actually do it. (Living through the following two and a half years has also made me appreciate chapters 30 and 31 a lot more, for reasons that will become readily apparent.)

So here you are--with my own name attached, as thepseudonym has long since fallen away. From a scholar's point of view, this TTC is unfaithful to the original text on more than one occasion, if not in every single line. Case in point: in chapter 20, Lao Tzu didn't exactly say, "Don't spend too much time thinking about stupid shit." For all the liberties I've taken with his words, however, I've made every attempt to stay true to his message, and I hope you'll find something useful in my efforts.

--Ron Hogan

([email protected])

January 2004

-----

PART ONE

TAO (THE WAY)

-----

If you can talk about it, it ain't Tao. If it has a name, it's just another thing.

Tao doesn't have a name. Names are for ordinary things.

Stop wanting stuff; it keeps you from seeing what's real. When you want stuff, all you see are things.

Those two sentences mean the same thing. Figure them out, and you've got it made.

If something looks beautiful to you, something else must be ugly. If something seems good, something else must seem bad.

You can't have something without nothing. If no job is difficult, then no job is easy. Some things are up high because other things are down low. You know you're listening to music because it doesn't sound like noise. All that came first, so this must be next.

The Masters get the job done without moving a muscle and get their point across without saying a word.

When things around them fall apart, they stay cool. They don't own much, but they use whatever's at hand. They do the work without expecting any favors. When they're done, they move on to the next job.That's why their work is so damn good.

If you toss compliments around freely, people will waste your time trying to impress you. If you give things too much value, you're going to get ripped off. If you try to please people, you'll just make them pissed.

The Master leads by clearing the crap out of people's heads and opening their hearts. He lowers their aspirations and makes them suck in their guts.

He shows you how to forget what you know and what you want, so nobody can push you around. If you think you've got the answers, he'll mess with your head.

Stop doing stuff all the time, and watch what happens.

How much Tao is there? More than you'll ever need. Use all you want, there's plenty more where that came from.

You can't see Tao, but it's there. Damned if I know where it came from. It's just always been around.

Tao's neutral: it doesn't worry about good or evil. The Masters are neutral: they treat everyone the same.

Lao Tzu said Tao is like a bellows: It's empty, but it could help set the world on fire. If you keep using Tao, it works better. If you keep talking about it, it won't make any sense.

Be cool.

Tao is an eternal mystery, and everything starts with Tao.

Everybody has Tao in them. They just have to use it.

Tao never stops. Why? Because it isn't trying to accomplish anything.

The Masters hang back. That's why they're ahead of the game.

They don't hang on to things. That's how they manage to keep them.

They don't worry about what they can't control. That's why they're always satisfied.

"Doing the right thing" is like water. It's good for all living things,and flows without thinking about where it's going

...just like Tao.

Keep your feet on the ground. Remember what's important. Be there when people need you. Say what you mean. Be prepared for anything. Do whatever you can, whenever it needs doing.

If you don't compare yourself to others, nobody can compare to you.

If you drink too much, you get drunk. The engine won't start if you're always tinkering with it.

If you hoard wealth, you fall into its clutches. If you crave success, you succumb to failure.

Do what you have to do, then walk away. Anything else will drive you nuts.

10.

Can you hold on to your ego and still stay focused on Tao?

Can you relax your mind and body and brace yourself for a new life?

Can you check yourself and see past what's in front of your eyes?

Can you be a leader and not try to prove you're in charge?

Can you deal with what's happening and let it happen?

Can you forget what you know and understand what's real?

Start a job and see it through. Have things without holding on to them. Do the job without expectation of reward. Lead people without giving orders. That's the way you do it.

11.

A wheel has spokes, but it rotates around a hollow center.

A pot is made out of clay or glass, but you keep things in the space inside.

A house is made of wood or brick, but you live between the walls.

We work with something, but we use nothing.

12.

Sight obscures. Noise deafens.

Desire messes with your heart. The world messes with your mind.

A Master watches the world but keeps focused on what's real.

13.

Winning can be just as bad as losing. Confidence can mess you up just as much as fear.

What does "winning can be just as bad as losing" mean?

If you're down, you might be able to get up. But if you're up, you can get knocked down real fast. Don't worry about the score, just do what you have to do.

What does "confidence can mess you up just as much as fear" mean?

Fear can keep you from getting the job done, but confidence can get you in over your head.

Walk tall, but don't get cocky. Know your limits, and nothing can ever hold you back. Deal with what you can. The rest will follow.

14.

You can't see Tao, no matter how hard you look. You can't hear Tao, no matter how hard you listen. You can't hold on to Tao, no matter how hard you grab.

But it's there.

It's in you, and it's all around you.

Remember that.

15.

The ancient Masters were damn impressive. They were deep. Real deep. Words can't even begin to describe how deep they were. You can only talk about how they acted.

They were careful, like a man walking on thin ice. They were cautious, like a soldier behind enemy lines. They were polite, like a guest at a party. They moved quickly, like melting ice. They were as plain as a block of wood. Their minds were as wide as a valley, and their hearts as clear as spring water.

Can you wait for that kind of openness and clarity before you try to understand the world?

Can you hold still until events have unfolded before you do the right thing?

When you act without expectations, you can accomplish great things.

16.

Keep your head clear. Stay calm. Watch as everything happens around you.

Everything reverts to its original state, which was nothing. And when something becomes nothing, it gets right with Tao.

If you don't understand that, you're going to screw up somewhere down the line. If you figure it out, you'll always know what to do.

If you get right with Tao, you won't be afraid to die, because you know you will.

17.

When a Master takes charge, hardly anybody notices. The next best leader is obeyed out of love. After that, there's the leader obeyed out of fear. The worst leader is one who is hated.

Trust and respect people. That's how you earn their trust and respect.

The Masters don't give orders; they work with everybody else. When the job's done, people are amazed at what they accomplished.

18.

When people lose touch with Tao, they start talking about "righteousness" and "sanctity."

When people forget what's true, they start talking about "self-evident truths."

When people have no respect for one another, they start talking about "political correctness" and "family values."

When the nation is unstable, people start talking about "patriotism."

19.

Get rid of sanctity. People will understand the truth and be happier.

Get rid of morality. People will respect each other and do what's right.

Get rid of value and profit. People will not steal if they do not desire.

If that's not possible, go to Plan B: Be simple. Be real. Do your work as best you can. Don't think about what you get for it. Stay focused. Get rid of all your crap.

20.

Don't spend too much time thinking about stupid shit. Why should you care if people agree or disagree with you? Why should you care if others find you attractive or not? Why should you care about things that worry others? Call bullshit on all that.

Let other people get worked up and try to enjoy themselves. I'm not going to give myself away. A baby doesn't know how to smile, but it's still happy.

Let other people get excited about stuff. I'm not going to hang on to anything. I'm not going to fill my mind with ideas. I'm not going to get stuck in a rut, tied down to any one place.

Other people are clever; I guess I must be stupid. Other people have goals; I guess I must be aimless. Like the wind. Or the waves.

I'm not like other people. I'm getting right with Tao.

21.

A Master stays focused on Tao. Nothing else, just Tao.

But you can't pin Tao down-- you can't even see it! How are you supposed to focus on something like that?

Just remember what Lao Tzu said: The universe began as a void. The void fills with images. Images lead to the creation of objects. And every object has Tao at its core.

That's the way it's been, ever since the world began. How can I be so sure? I just know.

22.

Learn how to stand still if you want to go places. Get on your knees if you want to stand tall. If you want wisdom, empty your mind. If you want the world, renounce your riches. Push yourself until you're exhausted, and then you'll find your strength.

You can go far if you don't have anything to carry. The more you acquire, the less you can really see.

A Master takes this to heart and sets an example for everybody else.

She doesn't show offso people take notice. She's not out to prove anything so people take her at her word. She doesn't brag about herself but people know what she's done. She hasn't got an agenda but people know what she can do. She's not out to get anybody so nobody can get in her way.

"Learn how to stand still if you want to go places." That's not as crazy as it sounds. Get in touch with Tao, and you'll see what I mean.

23.

When you have nothing to say, you may as well keep your mouth shut. The wind and the rain don't go on forever. If nature knows enough to give it a rest sometimes, so should you.

If you're ready for Tao, you can live with Tao. If you're ready to succeed, you can live with success. If you're ready to fail, you can live with failure.

Trust your instincts, and others will trust you.

24.

Keep your feet firmly planted unless you want to fall on your face. Learn how to pace yourself if you want to get anywhere. Don't call attention to yourself if you want people to notice your work.

Nobody respects people who always have excuses. Nobody gives credit to people who always take it. People who hype themselves have nothing else to offer.

Think of being in touch with Tao like eating at a buffet: Take only what you need. Save some for everybody else.

25.

Something perfect has existed forever, even longer than the universe. It's a vast, unchanging void. There's nothing else like it. It goes on forever and never stops, and everything else came from it.

I don't know what else to call it so I'll call it Tao. What's it like? I can tell you this much: it's great.

So great that it endures. Something that endures goes a long way. And something that goes a long way always comes back to the beginning.

Tao's great. Heaven's great. Earth's great. And someone in touch with Tao is great, too. Those are the four greatest things in the universe.

Someone who's in touch with Tao is in touch with the earth. The earth is in touch with heaven. Heaven's in touch with Tao. Tao's in touch with the way things are.

26.

To be light on your feet, you need a steady mind. If your body is active, your mind should be relaxed.

A Master can travel long distances and still see everything she owns. She may be surrounded by beauty but she isn't caught up in it.

Why run around thoughtlessly? If you act lightly, you lose your bearings. If you act recklessly, you lose your self-control.

27.

With enough practice, you could come and go without a trace, speak without stumbling over words, do complicated math problems in your head.

You could build a door with no lock that nobody could open. You could tie something down with no knots, without even a rope, and nobody could pry it loose.

Masters have time to help everybody, and ignore nobody. They use their resources wisely, wasting nothing. Some people call this "following the light."

Good people teach others because they have the potential to be good too. Brains count for nothing if you fail to respect your teachers or to honor the potential in others. That's one of the most important lessons of Tao.

28.

If you are strong, but remain sensitive, power will flow through you. With that power, you'll always be right with Tao: It's like a whole new life.

If you are idealistic, but stay rooted in reality, you are an example to others. Set that example, and you'll always be right with Tao: There is no limit to what you can do.

If you are honorable, but remain humble, you will see things as they are. If you see things as they are, you'll always be right with Tao: Your life will become simple, yet full of potential.

Let Tao show you how to get right with Tao, so your slightest gesture can change the world.

29.

Want to take over the world? Think again. The world's a holy place. You can't just fuck around with it. Those who try to change it destroy it. Those who try to possess it lose it.

With Tao, you push forward, or maybe you stay behind. Sometimes you push yourself, other times you rest. Sometimes you're strong, sometimes you're weak. Sometimes you're up, and sometimes you're down.

A Master lives simply, avoiding extravagance and excess.

30.

Listen up: If you want to be a leader who's in touch with Tao, never use violence to achieve your goals.

Every act of violence backfires. An army on the move leaves a trail of tears, and a military victory always lies in ruins.

The Masters do what needs doing and that's all they do. Do what you have to do without arrogance or pride. Get the job done and don't brag about it afterwards. Do what you have to do, not for your own benefit, but because it needs to be done. And don't do it the way you think it should be done, do it the way it needs to be done.

The mighty will always lose their power and any connection they ever had to Tao. They will not last long; if you're not right with Tao, you might as well be dead.

31.

Weapons are terrible things. If you want to get right with Tao, reject weapons.

The Master, knowing all things came from Tao, recognizes what he has in common with his enemies and always tries to avoid conflict.

But when there is no other choice, he uses force reluctantly. He does so with great restraint, and never celebrates a victory; to do so would be to rejoice in killing. A person who would rejoice in killing has completely lost touch with Tao.

When you win a war, you preside over a funeral. Pay your respects to the dead.

32.

Tao is an eternal mystery, so small you can never take hold of it.

If a leader gets right with Tao, people will follow him on instinct. All will be right with the world. People will do the right thing without being told.

Everything that comes from Tao needs a name. But once everything has its name, you should make no other distinction between things. This prevents you from becoming trapped by them.

Everything in the universe is full of Tao and leads to Tao, just like the water in rivers that flows into oceans.

33.

Knowing things makes you smart, but knowing yourself makes you wise. To rule others, you must be powerful, but to rule yourself, you must be strong.

If you have only what you need, you have true wealth. If you never give up, you will find a way. If you stay true to yourself, you will never be lost. If you stay alive your whole life, you've really lived.

34.

Tao flows in all directions. It's in everything, but nothing can contain it. Everything needs Tao, so Tao provides, and never expects anything in return.

Everything comes from Tao, but Tao doesn't call attention to itself. It wants for nothing. Think nothing of it.

Everything leads to Tao, but Tao doesn't call attention to itself. Pretty impressive, huh?

It doesn't strive for success. That's why it succeeds.

35.

When you get right with Tao, everybody wants to be your friend. When they're around you, they can relax and enjoy themselves.

People can be easily distracted by music or good food. When we try to talk about Tao, it seems boring by comparison.

It doesn't look like much. It doesn't sound like much. But no matter how much you use, there's still plenty left.

36.

To make something smaller, you need to appreciate its size. To make something weaker, you must recognize its strength. To get rid of something, you need to hold it tight. To take something, you must give it up entirely.

To put it another way: Sensitivity and weakness overcome unfeeling strength.

37.

Tao never does anything but nothing is left undone.

If our leaders could get in touch with Tao, the world would take care of itself. Even if they wanted to impose their own ideas, they'd be drawn back to Tao's nameless simplicity.

When our lives are that simple, we want for nothing. We can relax, and the world becomes a better place.

-----

PART TWO

TE (POWER)

-----

38.

People with integrity don't even think about it. That's how you can tell they have integrity. Other people talk about how much integrity they have, when they really don't have much. If any. Truly powerful people don't do anything, but they get the job done.

Other people are always busy doing something, but nothing ever gets done. When kind people act, they do so without thinking about it. When the just act, they're always sure they're doing the right thing. But when the righteous act, and nobody reacts, they try to force everyone to do things their way.

If you're not in touch with Tao, at least you can still have integrity. If you don't have integrity, there's always kindness. If you don't have kindness, there's always justice. If you don't have justice, all you have left is righteousness.

Righteousness is an pale imitation of true faith and loyalty, and always leads to trouble. If you've already made up your mind, you don't know the first thing about Tao, and you never will.

The Masters pay attention to what's beneath the surface. They'll look at a tree's leaves, but eat the fruit. They turn all that down, so they can accept this.

39.

Since time began, this is what it's meant to be in touch with Tao:

Tao made the heavens clear. Tao made the earth solid. Tao made our spirits strong. Tao made the valleys fertile. Tao gave all living things life.

Tao gave rulers authority. Without Tao, the heavens would collapse. Without Tao, the earth would crumble. Without Tao, our spirits would fade away. Without Tao, the valleys would dry up. Without Tao, all life would become extinct. Without Tao, rulers would stumble and fall.

Humility gives us power. Our leaders should think of themselves as insignificant, powerless, unworthy of their stature. Isn't that what humility is all about?

Be strong, but pay no attention to hollow praise. Don't call attention to yourself. Don't make a scene.

40.

Tao is always heading back to where it came from. Tao advances by not pressing forward.

Things exist because they are. They are because they once were not.

41.

When a wise person hears about Tao, he gets right with it. When an ordinary person hears about Tao, he tries to get right with it, but eventually gives up. When a fool hears about Tao, he just laughs and laughs. If he didn't laugh, it wouldn't be Tao.

Here's what they find so funny: The path to enlightenment seems covered in shadows. The way forward feels like taking a step back. The easiest path seems difficult. Those with the most virtue seem debased. Those who are most pure seem to be grubby and soiled. The deepest thoughts appear shallow. The greatest strength looks like weakness. What is most real strikes us as imaginary. The largest space has no boundaries. The greatest talent seems to produce nothing. The greatest voice is unhearable. The greatest beauty is invisible.

Tao is hidden to us and it has no name. It is the source and the strength of all things.

42.

Chapter 42 starts out with some cosmic mumbo-jumbo about Tao making one, one making two, two making three, and three making everything else.

I don't know what it means, and, frankly, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Let's get to the practical part: Men hate to be called powerless, insignificant, or unworthy, but that's how Masters describe themselves.

Because when we lose, we've won. And when we succeed, we've failed.

Other people will tell you what I'm telling you now: "Live by the sword, die by the sword." That's pretty much what Chapter 42 boils down to.

(See Chapter 46 for more details.)

43.

The softest force in the universe can overcome the hardest of objects. Something without substance can pass through the space between atoms.

That's how I know about the power of doing nothing.

The silent teachings and the power of doing nothing can only be understood by a few people.

44.

What's more important, fame or your well-being? What's worth more, your money or your life? What is more dangerous, winning or losing?

If you are too attached to your possessions, they will bring you misery. If you hang on to your riches, you will suffer substantial loss. If you know when you have enough, you will never be disgraced. If you practice moderation, you can stay out of trouble.

And that's the secret to lasting success.

45.

The greatest achievements may look like mistakes, but you will always be able to build upon them.

The fullest reserves may seem empty, but you will always be able to draw upon them.

The straightest line looks crooked. The most skilled people come off as clumsy. The most eloquent people are usually silent.

When it's cold, you can move around to stay warm. When it's hot, you should keep still and stay cool. But whatever the weather, if you stay calm, the world will sort itself out around you.

46.

"When the world is right with Tao," Lao Tzu said, "horses haul fertilizer to the fields. When the world loses touch with Tao, horses are trained for cavalry."

Nothing is more insidious than possession. Nothing is more dangerous than desire. Nothing is more disastrous than greed.

If you know when enough is enough, you will always have enough.

47.

You don't have to leave your room to understand what's happening in the world.

You don't have to look out the window to appreciate the beauty of heaven.

The farther you wander, the less you know.

The Masters don't wander around They know. They don't just look. They understand. They don't do anything, but the work gets done.

48.

Usually, we try to learn something new every day.

But if we want to get right with Tao, we have to let go of something every day.

We do less and less, until we end up doing nothing. And it's when we do nothing that we get the job done.

Let events take their course, and everything will turn out in your favor. If you act on your ambitions, they will never pan out.

49.

The Masters don't make up their minds. They turn their thoughts to other people.

They are good to good people, and they're good to bad people. This is real goodness.

They have faith in the faithful, and they have faith in the unfaithful. This is real faith.

A Master throws himself into the world completely, forgetting everything he's been told. People pay attention to him because he lives a life of child-like wonder.

50.

People who look for the secret of long life wind up dead.

Their bodies are the focus of their lives and the source of their death, because they think a healthy body is all there is to life.

Lao Tzu used to say a man who truly understood life could walk through the jungle without fear or across a battlefield without armor, totally unarmed. Wild animals and weapons couldn't kill him.

I know, I know: what the hell does that mean? "Well, he couldn't be killed," Lao Tzu said, "because his body wasn't where he kept his death."

51.

Tao is the source of all living things, and they are nourished by Tao's power. They are influenced by the other living things around them, and they are shaped by their circumstances.

Everything respects Tao and honors its power. That's just the way it is.

Tao gives life to all things, and its power watches out for them, cares for them, helps them grow, protects them, and comforts them.

Create something without holding on to it. Do the work without expecting credit for it. Lead people without giving them orders. That's the secret of the power of Tao.

52.

Everything starts with Tao, the mother of all things. If you know the mother, you know the children. If you know the children and remember the mother, you have nothing to fear in your life.

Shut your mouth and keep still, and your life will be full of happiness. If you talk all the time, always doing something, your life will be hopeless.

It takes insight to see subtlety. It takes strength to yield gently to force. Use that strength to hang on to your insight, and you will always be at peace. That's how to get right with Tao.

53.

If I had any sense, I'd be trying to get right with Tao, and the only thing I'd worry about would be messing up. It's not that hard to get right with Tao, but people are easily distracted.

"When the king's palace is full of treasure," Lao Tzu said, "ordinary people's fields are smothered with weeds, and the food supplies run out." Today, you see sharply dressed people carrying flashy weapons and living the high life.

They own more than they could ever use, let alone need.

They're nothing but gangsters and crooks. That's not what Tao's about.

54.

Tao's power is so deeply entrenched it can never be uprooted. Tao's power clings so tightly it can never slip away. It will endure for generations.

If you get in touch with the power of Tao, it will become real. If your family gets in touch with the power of Tao, the power will flourish.

If your community gets in touch with the power of Tao, the power will grow even stronger. If your country gets in touch with the power of Tao, the power will become abundant.

If the world gets in touch with the power of Tao, the power will be everywhere. How can I know this? I just do.

55.

A person filled with the power of Tao is like a baby boy: bees can't sting him, wild beasts can't attack him.

A baby has soft bones and weak muscles, but a firm grip. He hasn't had sex, but he can get an erection. That's because he's got lots of energy. He can cry all day and never lose his voice. That's because he's at one with his world.

If you're at one with the world, you know constancy. And if you know constancy, you've been enlightened.

It's not healthy to try to prolong your life. It's unnatural to impose the mind's will upon the body. People waste time and energy trying to be strong or beautiful, and their strength and beauty fade. They've lost touch with Tao, and when you lose touch with Tao, you might as well be dead.

56.

Those who know, don't talk. Those who talk, don't know.

Shut your mouth. Be still. Relax. Let go of your worries. Stay out of the spotlight. Be at one with the world and get right with Tao. If you get right with Tao, you won't be worried about praise or scorn, about winning or losing, about honor or disgrace. That's the way to be.

57.

You can run a country by sticking to principles, and you can win a war with strategy and tactics. But you can gain the entire world by doing nothing at all.

How do I know this? I've seen it happen: The more restrictions a nation imposes, the poorer its people become. When a nation hoards weapons, troubles arise from within and from without. When its leaders try to be cunning and clever, the situation spins further out of control. When they try to fix things by passing more laws, they only increase the number of outlaws.

A wise leader says to himself: "I do nothing, and people transform themselves. I keep silent, and they do the right thing on their own. I stay out of the way, and they prosper. I want for nothing, and they lead simple lives."

58.

When a nation is ruled with a light touch, people lead simple lives. When a government is harsh and demanding, people will spend their time trying to outsmart it.

Happiness is rooted in misery, and misery lurks beneath all joy. Who knows what could happen tomorrow?

Everything is relative; what's considered proper today may become improper. Correct appearances may hide dishonesty and sinfulness.

No wonder so many people get confused.

The Masters have sharp minds, not sharp tongues. They are austere, but never judgmental. They are straightforward, but not provocative. They are brilliant, but not flashy.

59.

Leadership is based on moderation. Practice moderation, and you'll get in touch with the power of Tao.

If you get right with Tao, nothing is impossible. If you get right with Tao, there's no limit to what you can do. If you get right with Tao, you can be a true leader.

Remember this advice if you want to be a leader: Plant deep roots in firm soil. Get right with Tao, and you'll always see things clearly.

60.

Being a leader is like cooking a small fish; get right with Tao, and it's quick and easy.

When you're in touch with Tao, you don't need to worry about misfortune. You can't make it go away, of course, but you can keep it from harming other people.

Also, as a wise leader, you cause no harm to others, so people won't have to worry about getting hurt, and they'll take the opportunity to do the right thing.

61.

Power flows down to every level of existence like a river to the ocean.

Victory comes from lying perfectly still and waiting for power to come your way.

If you yield to someone less powerful than yourself, you will be in a position to influence them.

If you submit to someone more powerful than yourself, you create an opportunity to get your own way.

So if you want to get ahead, lay low and bide your time. That way, everybody's happy.

62.

Every living thing gets its strength from Tao. Good people respect the value of Tao. The wicked and foolish don't, but Tao provides for them anyway.

Some people gain power and prestige through fancy words, others through great deeds. But Tao is available to everyone, not just the powerful. So don't look down on anybody.

When people become powerful, and everybody lines up to kiss their ass, sit still and stay right with Tao.

Why have the Masters always respected Tao? Because when you get right with Tao, you can always find what you need to get by, and trouble can never find you.

63.

Keep still. Don't work so hard. Learn to appreciate everyday life. Pay attention to details. Start small and work your way up. When people give you trouble, let it slide.

Break everything down to its essentials. Get the job done before it becomes a chore.

With the right preparation, difficult tasks can be completed with ease; every major project consists of simple steps.

The Masters don't take on more than they can handle, which is why they can do just about anything.

Don't promise more than you can deliver, and don't underestimate the task: You'll only make things harder for yourself.

The Masters are always aware of the difficulties involved, which is why they never have to deal with them.

64.

It's easy to maintain balance. Trouble can be nipped in the bud. Fragile things break easily, and small things are easy to lose.

Deal with the situation before it becomes a problem. Keep everything straight so it can't get messed up.

Every tree was once a seed. Every skyscraper started out with a shovelful of dirt. And--stop me if you've heard this one before-- a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

When you try too hard, you defeat your own purpose. Cling to stuff, and you will suffer loss. The Masters make no effort, so they never fail. They aren't attached to things, so they never feel loss.

People often screw up when the job's nearly done. Pay as much attention to the finishing touches as you do to the initial steps, and you won't screw up like that.

The Masters try to be free from desire. They don't collect precious things. They don't cling to any beliefs. They pay attention to what everybody else ignores. They help the world get right with Tao, but don't try to change a thing.

65.

In ancient times, leaders who were right with Tao didn't teach everybody how to become enlightened. They kept people's lives simple.

People who know too much can't be taught anything. Leaders who try to be clever always screw things up. Leaders who keep things simple always make things right.

If you get that, you'll understand the mysterious power of Tao.

That kind of power is so deep, so extensive, it penetrates into every level of existence.

66.

An ocean is greater than the hundred rivers that flow into it, and all it does is wait to receive what they bring.

If you want to teach people, don't talk down to them. If you want to lead them, find out where they want to go.

People love leaders who make them feel safe without smothering them. They'll always support a leader like that, and because he doesn't try to compete with anybody, nobody is able to compete with him.

67.

Everywhere I go, people tell me, "Tao is so powerful, so immense, it's inconceivable!"

But it's only powerful because it's inconceivable. If we could wrap our minds around it, Tao would be just another thing.

The three most important qualities in life are compassion, or showing kindness and mercy to others, moderation, or knowing what a thing is worth, and modesty, or knowing your place in the world.

Courage stems from showing kindness and mercy to others. Generosity starts with knowing what a thing is worth. True leadership begins with knowing your place in the world.

But these days, I see everyone trying to act courageous without any trace of compassion. They try to be generous but they don't practice moderation in their own lives. They act like leaders, but they have no sense of modesty. No good can come of this.

If you want to get ahead, show people compassion. When other people attack you, defend yourself with compassion. It's the most powerful force in the universe.

68.

A true warrior never uses force with an attitude of pride or anger. A true victor does not pursue vengeance. A true leader shows humility.

This is the power of modesty. It's the best way to deal with people. It's always been an excellent way to get right with Tao.

69.

There's an old military saying: "I'd rather face an attack than have to make one. I'd rather retreat a foot than try to advance an inch."

That's the secret to moving forward while staying put, preparing for battle without revealing your strength.

When you defend yourself without any show of force, you give your opponent nothing to fight.

Attacking an enemy you've underestimated is a costly mistake. When two forces oppose each other, the winner is the one most reluctant to fight.

70.

Lao Tzu's advice was easy to understand and easy to follow. But nobody understood him or did what he suggested.

His words stemmed from ancient wisdom, and his actions were highly disciplined. People didn't get that, which is why they didn't understand him. And the less they understood him, the more meaningful his advice became.

That's why the Masters live simply, hiding their wisdom deep within themselves.

71.

If you know what you don't know, you're doing great. If you don't know what you don't know, you're sick.

The only way to get rid of that sickness is to be sick of it.

The Masters aren't sick, because they got sick of being sick.

72.

When you show no fear at all, the universe gives you something to really be afraid of.

Don't try to fence people in or grind them down. Just let them be, and they'll always be on your side.

The Masters know themselves, but they don't reveal themselves. They love themselves, but they know what their lives are worth. They let go of all that to concentrate on this.

73.

Those who dare to be bold die. Those who dare to be careful survive. So--what do you want to do?

Why is life like that, you ask? I don't know.

This is how Tao works: It doesn't push itself, and it always succeeds. It acts silently, and it always reacts. It can't be summoned; it comes whenever it's ready. It can't be rushed; it's always on time.

"Heaven casts a wide net, with big holes," Lao Tzu used to say, "but nothing ever gets by it."

74.

If people's lives suck, and they look forward to death, what good does it do to threaten to kill them?

If people are afraid to die, and the wicked are condemned to death, then who would dare to commit evil?

But that doesn't mean you or I can just take life and death into our own hands. That'd be like walking up to an industrial buzzsaw and trying to use it without any training. We'd only end up hurting ourselves.

75.

People starve because the government taxes them to death. People rebel because the government tries to run their lives. People act like life is meaningless because the government takes everything they have.

People who know how to enjoy life are wiser than people who value their lives.

76.

A baby's body is soft and gentle. A corpse is hard and stiff. Plants and trees are tender and full of sap. Dead leaves are brittle and dry.

If you are rigid and unyielding, you might as well be dead. If you are soft and flexible, you are truly alive.

Soldiers trained to fight to the death will die. A tree that cannot bend with the wind will snap.

Here's a useful saying: The harder they come, the harder they fall.

Here's another: The meek shall inherit the earth.

77.

Lao Tzu said using Tao was like pulling on a bowstring: The top bends down, the bottom bends up, and all the energy is focused in the middle.

Tao takes energy from where it is, and sends it where it needs to be. But most people take from those who don't have enough, so those who have too much already can have more.

So who in this world is truly generous to others? People who are in touch with Tao. They do their work without taking credit. They get the job done and move on. They aren't interested in showing off.

78.

Nothing is softer or more yielding than water. Yet, given time, it can erode even the hardest stone. That's how the weak can defeat the strong, and the supple can win out over the stiff.

Everybody knows it. So why don't we apply it to our own lives?

Lao Tzu used to say: "Take on people's problems, and you can be their leader. Deal with the world's problems, and you'll be a Master."

Sometimes the truth makes no sense.

79.

Sometimes, when an argument is settled, feelings of resentment still remain on either side. What's the point of carrying a grudge?

The Masters care about what they owe other people, not what other people owe them.

People who are in touch with Tao do their duty. People who aren't try to force others into submission.

Tao doesn't play favorites. But if you do right by Tao, Tao will do right by you.

80.

Lao Tzu had a dream about a small country with very few people.

They didn't need machines to get their work done faster. They took their lives seriously, and stayed close to home.

They may have owned boats and carriages, but they never went anywhere. They may have owned weapons, but they kept those weapons locked up, securely hidden. They had so few responsibilities, they never had to make a To-Do list to remember what had to be done.

They enjoyed simple foods, dressed plainly, lived comfortably, and kept their traditions alive.

And even though their neighbors were so close they could hear the dogs barking at night, they had no interest in leaving their homes, where they grew old peacefully and died.

81.

The truth isn't flashy. Flashy words aren't true.

Educated people aren't always smart. Smart people don't always have an education.

Good people don't argue. People who argue aren't good.

The Masters don't hang on to things. They're always doing something for other people, so they always have more to give. They give away whatever they have, so what they have is worth more.

If you want to get right with Tao, help other people, don't hurt them. The Masters always work with people, never against them.

(with thanks to ronhogan)

#ron hogan #favourite #wisdom #tao

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nico-nightingale · 4 years

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Summary: Following an accident that involved her beloved younger sister, the crown princess of Arendelle grew to believe she was born cursed. At her eleventh birthday, however, she receives the visit of a man in strange robes, who invites her to study at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This story follows Elsa's life in Hogwarts as she discovers that magic is no curse and starts learning how to love herself.

Rating: T (ages 13 and up)

Also found on: FF.net, AO3, Wattpad

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Frozen belongs to Disney. The cover photo belongs to Nico Benedickt and the font belongs to Naharstd.

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Chapter II: Fake It Until You Make It

It hadn't taken too long before Elsa felt the hope fading away. As she approached the Hufflepuff table, panic rose again in her belly at the realization that people sat way too close to each other and there was no way around it since the number of chairs seemed to be close to the number of students. Someone might end up touching her, which wasn't something she had been prepared to see happening.

Even if her ice powers weren't dark, they could still hurt people. In the past three years, the girl had been touched only by her parents. Since her magic had been growing more and more out of control, she had started considering it dangerous to be even in the same room as other people. Despite her concerns, both her mother and her father had still been able to soothe her into a hug sometimes, but Elsa never allowed herself in situations in which accidental touching could happen.

This time, however, there was no escape from the fact that she had to sit right beside the other Hufflepuff students. So, clenching her hands in front of her chest, the girl resumed her walk and offered the others the tense smile she usually reserved for her parents' political acquaintances that had insisted on meeting her in the past. To Elsa's immense relief, they turned their attention back to the hat as soon as the next student got sorted.

Elsa herself directed her eyes toward the hat, but she wasn't paying attention. What would she do if people wanted to shake hands with her? So far, her gloves had been a rather safe barrier to her magic, but what would happen if she completely lost control? What if she hurt someone? Would they be able to fix it as easily as Dumbledore had guaranteed they would, back when he first came to visit her in Arendelle? Would the teachers and other students judge her for her lack of control?

Trying not to succumb to panic, Elsa did her best to act natural, clapping whenever someone was sorted to Hufflepuff. It all seemed to last an eternity and the girl couldn't help but hope the feast would be over as soon as possible. Dumbledore had warned her that she would be sharing a dormitory with the other girls in her house and year. Each bed was surrounded by a curtain, however, to give the students some privacy; so, the princess was hopeful that she would be able to put some space between herself and the others once she arrived there.

Finally, Lars Westley was sorted into Ravenclaw and Professor McGonagall took the hat away, putting an end to the ceremony. At that, as if following a script, the Headmaster raised from his seat, his gaze wandering through the hall and arms wide open as if he wished to embrace each and every one of his students. His warm eyes met Elsa's for a moment, making the girl feel a little calmer—Dumbledore seemed to have an aura around him that would always make the girl feel safe.

"Welcome to one more year at Hogwarts. Before you dig into this excellent banquet, I'd like to say a few words. First, meet your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: Professor Scamander." A red-haired man in his late early fifties rose from his seat, bending his head and raising one hand in response to the welcome applause he received from the students and the staff.

Watching the new professor, she realized he was rather nervous, his face slightly reddened by the attention. Er han sjenert? Hearing her classmates talking about his reaction, she realized she hadn't been the only one to notice how shy the man was. "It's rather cute, isn't it?" A blonde girl sitting across the table told the brunette beside her.

Dumbledore only restarted speaking when the claps died and the professor was once again sitting, "also, I should warn you that three more items have been added to the banned list— you will find it hanging beside the door of Mr. Filch's office— and that the Dark Forest is off-limits to all of the students." He made a small pause to allow the students to process the information. "Now— shall we dig in?"

Elsa turned to look at the dishes in front of her and was astonished to realize they were now full of all sorts of food. She was relieved to realize that some of it were rather familiar; the girl hadn't been worried about the British eating habits until she had come across the snacks they sold on the train. That had seemed to be a minor concern in comparison to the language barrier and her ability to accidentally freeze things.

Being the crown princess, Elsa had eaten some foreign food before with the children of dignitaries or rulers of other countries. Learning how to please and entertain guests on such occasions, sometimes even going as far as pretending to like a dish, had been one of the first lessons in a princess' curriculum.

The notion that she would have to eat that every day and night while at school hadn't crossed her mind, however, until she was on her way to Hogwarts. The shock of learning about the candies and snacks, so different from what she usually ate at home, came with one more wave of anxiety that she had only been able to put aside as she saw the castle for the first time.

It was, therefore, with a heavy sigh of relief that she reached out to help herself with peas, carrots, mashed potatoes, and a type of roasted meat that seemed to be beef. It was a slow process, considering that she had to be careful not to touch the people beside her and that she had been trained to avoid messes at all costs.

Although she managed to serve herself without issues, people noticed her slowness as they waited for her to finish. Despite her upbringing, the girl had never felt comfortable being the center of attention and flushed furiously when she realized that there were other children watching her.

"Do you have a contagious skin disease or something?" The blonde girl in front of her asked with intense curiosity. The blunt question had been made in such an innocent manner, however, that Elsa wondered if she had understood it correctly or if there was a hidden meaning in the words that, being not British herself, she couldn't grasp. "I mean— it is kind of hot to be wearing gloves, isn't it?"

Oh. The gloves. Of course. No Norwegian would wear gloves in England during the summer— her father had told her that in an attempt to convince her not to wear them at all. After Dumbledore's reassurance that they could take care of repercussions if Elsa lost control over her powers, the King had been trying to talk her into putting them aside while she was at Hogwarts. At that time, the girl hadn't thought much of his comment as she usually felt no cold nor heat. She hadn't realized, though, that people would find it strange.

"No, it are— is a family tradition." It was easier, she realized, to lie in her broken version of the English language than it would have been in Norwegian. Elsa had no clue why, but, although there was a hint of curiosity in her mind, she was too focused on trying to interact with the other children without making a mess of herself to pay attention to her mind's curious behavior.

"That is mean, though," a voice coming from Elsa's left stated, making her flinch in concern. Had she offended her classmates? Was it because she hadn't greeted and introduced herself first? How could have she forgotten that? What would her parents have said if they had seen her at that moment? They would be angry, for sure; as they had been when, a few months before the accident that had changed their lives, Anna had pointed out that the Danish ambassador had "fake hair".

Elsa's thoughts were interrupted, however, at the sight of the blonde girl's cheek reddening. "I'm sorry. I was curious, that's all." As the princess was too shocked to reply, the other seemed to take the silence as a sign of disapproval and grow even more uncomfortable. "My mum— well, she's always saying I should think before saying things. I am Arcadia, by the way, Adie for short."

"'Must be a mum thing, 'cause mine also says this sort of stuff all the time to me," the person sitting beside Elsa— much to her surprise, a pink-haired girl—replied with a groan and the blonde, Adie, seemed to relax a little at the sound. "I'm Tonks. You're Elsa, right?" Without a warning, she took Elsa's hand to shake it. Before the princess could feel fright, though, it was over as the other was already retreating.

"Ja—" the princess was too astonished by the variety of emotions and situations that had been passing in the past few seconds to even consider replying to the other two in English. Her hands were visibly shaking, but Elsa was too astonished for a moment to try and make them stop. No stranger had ever touched or talked to her so unceremoniously; even Dumbledore had treated her with a level of deference—not as much as the tutors her parents had hired before, but much more than the other Hufflepuff girls were showing.

It had been agreed that, while it wasn't properly a secret, her royal background shouldn't be common knowledge among the other students. Dumbledore had told the King and Queen of Arendelle that the people in the wizarding world didn't always comprehend the non-magical government. Even those who did understand it, however, wouldn't answer to it since Wizards and Witches had their own sort of government.

A few weeks after Dumbledore's visit, the monarchs of Arendelle received the visit of both the Arendellian Ministers for Magic Tharald Lund and his British counterpart Millicent Bagnold. Elsa never learned exactly what they had been discussing with the King and the Queen before she was called to meet them since all of the adults ceased to talk when she walked into the throne room and her parents had told her she was too young to fully understand the conversation.

Elsa was intelligent and had enough political instruction, however, to figure that there had been a firm understanding between all the parts that it would be better if the crown princess had her magical education far from Arendelle. It didn't take long before she realized that the heir to the Arendellian throne studying magic in a Scandinavian country could cause some political conflicts in both the wizarding and the non-magical world.

It was no wonder, then, that Tonks and Adie had been treating Elsa in such an informal manner. There was no way they would know they had been speaking to the future Queen of Arendelle—if they did allow her to inherit the crown, in the first place. If the insistence of Minister Lund for her to study at a foreign magic school was any indication of the political nightmare that she had become, Elsa was certain that she would be encouraged to abdicate.

"You're not from here, are you?" Adie asked again, sending an apologetic glance to the other two girls that expressed the internal conflict between her curiosity and her desire to respect people's boundaries. It was a rather familiar gesture to Elsa, who had seen it whenever Anna woke her up in the middle of the night to invite her to play or talk. The warmth that followed this realization made the girl come to the conclusion that she actually liked Adie.

"I am from Arendelle. It is North from Norway." Even as she spoke the words, the girl already knew the phrasing wasn't quite right. Her knowledge in foreign languages was above average in comparison to people of her own age, but there was a long way to go, however, before she could be considered fluent in them. Optimistic, the King had told her she spoke as well as any native in no time and, while the girl had trouble believing him, she hoped he was right. As they were, her English pronunciation and wording would attract too much attention, which was the last thing Elsa wanted.

She also didn't want to make friends. Between her ice magic and status as royalty, there was much that Elsa felt compelled to hide from her peers. The closer they were to her, the harder it would be to keep this information to herself and the more likely she would hurt them—and herself. Although she liked the way Adie reminded her of Anna, even though Tonks had been nice enough to come to rescue her, becoming friends with them could make her life even more difficult than it already was.

How was she sorted into Hufflepuff, anyway, when all she had done in the past three years was lying to the person she loved the most? What had gone through the hat's mind to place her in the house that valued honesty and fair play, when her intentions from even before she had first set foot in the castle had been to hide who she was? Was it because the hat had thought she belonged to nowhere at all and Hufflepuff was the one to accept people who didn't fit in the houses? That would make sense.

In terror, Elsa realized her gloves had started feeling small due to the thick layer of ice between her fingers and the fabric. Between Tonks' touch, Adie's questions, and the knowledge of her self-imposed isolation—as well as the trouble it could cause to her—, the princess was the closest she had been to losing control ever since the few days after the accident with Anna. She had never liked being under the spotlight, but it was even worst when she was far away from everything and everyone she knew.

"Elsa? Are you okay?" The princess looked up to face a growing frown on Tonks' face. By her expression, it was clear that she had been far too distracted to notice the other girls' previous words to her. Adie, the princess noticed with the corner of her eyes, was watching her carefully.

Clenching her hands, Elsa tried to control the flow of emotions rushing through her body and the magic flooding from the tip of her fingers. Conceal, don't feel, her father's words were grounding and calming even when she spoke them inside her own mind. To other people, the mantra might have sounded cold-hearted and unhelpful, but, to the princess, it meant pretending everything was fine until it was, faking control and self-restraint to the point it came naturally to her.

"I am sorry. What said you?" Elsa tried not to worry if Tonks or Adie would end up asking her what she had been thinking about. Overthinking would always work against her; it only served for her to suffer twice. Conceal, don't feel. Hide your fears under a mask of confidence, don't panic. Fake it until you make it.

Much to her relief, Tonks made no comment about her distraction. "Not much, actually. I was saying that I haven't heard about it," the pink-haired shrugged and offered Elsa a kind smile before turning to Adie. "What about you, Adie? Where are you from?" The princess sighed, feeling her body relax when the other blonde started telling them about her childhood in Cornwall.

Elsa was smart enough to know that Tonks had diverged the focus of the conversation from her to Adie on purpose. The pink-haired girl had noticed she was uncomfortable with the attention and had distracted the other girl with a topic that would keep her from inquiring further on the princess' background and mannerisms. It was a very insightful approach from an eleven-year-old, one that adult politicians and ambassadors had often failed to master.

Paying half-attention to the conversation around her, Elsa tried to eat some of the food on her plate. Adie's parents, she found out soon enough, were both magical, although her mother was a muggle-born; the girl had two younger siblings: a brother and a sister. Tonks, on the other hand, had been raised as an only child in Somerset by her magical parents.

Every time Adie turned to Elsa and opened her mouth to inquire about something, Tonks intervened before the question was made. After a few minutes of tension, the princess finally started relaxing and the food became more and more delicious. The conversation around her was friendly, the first-years getting to know each other or asking questions to older students. Elsa was beginning to understand how one's house became their family when they were at school.

It was funny how different these people were. While the school tried to assemble them and label them, it took only a couple of hours for Elsa to realize they couldn't be more distinct and start questioning the whole notion of sorting students into a house. As informative as the book was, "Hogwarts, a History" had failed to point out the problems that this system could cause. People, the princess concluded, were too complex to fit labels.

Despite her deep thoughts and criticism, however, Elsa did appreciate what she was eating. The flavors were rather unfamiliar, but the contrast to what she usually had at home hadn't been unwelcome. The princess wasn't picky, but foreign dishes were sometimes unpalatable; so, the knowledge that the food in Hogwarts was actually tasty was a relief. One less thing to worry about.

Finally, the girl set her fork back on her plate, wondering when they would be allowed to the dormitories. Her belly full and her mind as relaxed as it could be when she was surrounded by hundreds of people, Elsa was starting to feel drowsy. It had been a long and difficult day, but things didn't turn out as bad as she had first thought they would. After all, she hadn't cursed anybody.

In a few weeks, her parents' Council would find a way to remove her from Hogwarts and Elsa would be back to where she belonged. All she had to do until then was to keep her head low: stay away from trouble, draw no attention to herself, make no friends, keep control over her magic. Be patient, calm, and sober. Smart. Conceal, don't feel.

#frozen fic #harry potter fic #elsa of arendelle #anna of arendelle #nymphadora tonks #arcadia green #harry potter au #hogwarts au #my fanfics #the others

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captain-zajjy · 7 years

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Solstice, Chapter 5 - A Final Fantasy XV Story

Pairing: Ignis x Female Original Character

AO3 | Chapter 1 2 3 4

A/N: Based on his accent in the English version of the game, I headcanon that Ignis is originally of noble birth from Tenebrae, and was taken in by his uncle and moved to Lucis after his parents passed away when he was very young. Normally, I wouldn't try to foist my headcanons on you in a 'canon-compliant' story, but I like to think the background I've come up with for him informs a lot of his character (to be meted out throughout the story), and him being of foreign extraction is actually going to be plot relevant later on.

Also, I’m going to post the next chapter pretty soon, rather than next week - originally I planned to post it all as one chapter, but I think the scenes work better separated...and I wanna give you guys more Iggy!

One would think that encountering not one, but two Gods in the span of a week would prove a sufficient distraction, but for Ignis, such a spectacle - awe-inspiring though it was - apparently wasn’t enough to cause him to forget his troubles. In the moment, he’d stared slack-jawed at the colossi along with the others, but when it was quiet (‘quiet’ being a relative term with Prompto around), when some mythical being wasn’t trying to crush them like insects, his mind immediately wandered back to Valeria in Insomnia. Was she safe? Was her wound healing properly? And, perhaps most importantly, was she completely and utterly miserable?

Ignis suspected he already knew the answer to that. She’d lost virtually everything, been shot, watched as her mother was killed, and was now effectively stranded and alone with the villains who’d done it all to her. Every time he thought of her, stuck with those devils, his world went a darker shade of red.

And even all of that was preferable to his dreams. At least when he was awake, he could take out his anger on the Imperials that seemed to dog their every step. In the ruined landscape of his mind, he was helpless, powerless as Valeria regarded him, her face streaked with ash and stained with tears. One hand clutched the wound at her shoulder, blood seeping through her fingers. Every night he called out to her as she turned to disappear in the haze. And every night she stood there waiting for him, blood sliding down her arm and pooling at her feet, as the words caught in his throat.

“I want...” Why could he never finish that sentence? Eventually, unable to remain any longer, Valeria would vanish into the fog. And then, having lost her, Ignis would wake up.

Despite sleeping like a rock (a very loud, snoring rock), Gladiolus must have noticed Ignis’s restlessness, asking him about it one early morning at camp when they were en route to retrieve the Regalia from filching Imperial hands.

“Hey.” Gladiolus elbowed Ignis as he prepared breakfast - eggs, prairie sausage, toast, and, of course, coffee. “You alright?” The larger man began to break down the campsite, despite Noctis and Prompto remaining asleep in the tent. “Not trying to get into your business or anything,” he added. “Noct, uh, told me about your uncle.”

Ignis’s hand clenched the spatula as he flipped the toast. “He...” He took a breath, trying to figure out exactly what he was trying to say. “Perishing in service to the King...if he had to go, I suppose that’s the way he would’ve wanted.”

Something akin to a growl escaped Gladio’s throat. “I know that’s what my old man wanted, but...shit.” He kicked a bit of dirt over the fire, even though it had clearly been extinguished some time in the night. “It doesn’t make this any easier.”

“It certainly does not,” Ignis replied, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “How is Iris faring?” She’d seemed cheerful enough when they met with her in Lestallum, but Ignis understood masking one’s emotions for the good of the group all too well.

“She’s pretty tough,” Gladiolus said, somewhat proudly. “But, yeah. It’s been hard on her. Hard on all of us.”

Ignis removed the sausage from the skillet and began to crack eggs over the pan. “My uncle was a good man.” He had never been liberal with praise, but Ignis had always done his best to please him, to prove he wasn’t a useless wastrel like his late father.

“Dad was too,” Gladiolus said quietly. “We’re gonna get the sons of bitches, Iggy.” He met Ignis’s gaze, fire and determination swirling in his dark eyes. “This ain’t over. Not ‘til we say it is.”

Ignis had tasked Valeria with determining exactly where the Empire had taken the Crystal - and for what purpose, if there was one outside of insatiable greed. He’d explained to her about the Prince’s quest to gather the weapons of his ancestors and receive the blessings of the Astrals; the strength of Gods she could understand, but what good were a bunch of weapons without an army to wield them? There was power in the Caelum bloodline, power Valeria knew she didn’t understand, so she had to trust Ignis when he told her that the Royal Arms would help them drive the Empire out of Insomnia for good.

Valeria had poked around enough to learn that most of the Niffs weren’t privy to the level of secrecy under which the Crystal was classified, but in spite of that - or perhaps exactly because of that - it seemed every last one of them had developed a theory.

“The Emperor’s making it into a throne,” one of the relief workers said to another as Valeria picked up her daily breakfast ration.

“That’s too much work,” the other responded. “He’s just going to display it in the throne room.”

“Since when does the Emperor care about ‘too much work?’” the first said with a laugh.

Most of the speculation was nonsense like that. She could very well be wrong, but Valeria thought the haste with which he’d extracted the relic seemed to indicate he was interested in it as more than a trophy.

Wrinkling her nose at the gray lump that was supposed to be her meal, Valeria took a seat opposite Felix at one of the fold-out aluminum tables in the mess tent. The first few days, it had been so crowded that they had to eat in shifts, but now there were more empty seats than occupied ones. People had gone back to their homes - in part, thanks to her. They still had to wait in line for food and medicine and such, but they could return to the familiar comfort of their own private space, wearing their own clothes, sleeping in their own beds. Empire patrols were apparently constant, day and night, in the restored neighborhoods, but part of her couldn’t help but wonder - and fear - if what the old officer had said to her on that first day was true: life wouldn’t be so different under Imperial rule.

During the day, the Niffs allowed people to come and go from the relief area freely, but that wasn’t true for all of Insomnia - all of downtown was blocked off, as were all major routes out of the city. ‘For safety,’ they said. Valeria had her doubts, especially considering people like Loqi Tummelt were apparently able to come and go freely.

She poked at the bland mush she’d been served, forcing herself to eat a few bites. It had all the flavor and appeal of sawdust, but - as with all things from Niflheim - had been carefully engineered and calibrated to deliver the appropriate level of nutrients per serving. Felix had barely touched his, despite being at the age where boys could seemingly eat without end. He had his nose buried in his phone, as usual, chimes and beeps echoing from the device as he played a game that made her feel old just asking about.

“Why didn’t you leave?” he asked suddenly, eyes never straying from the screen.

“I can’t,” Valeria replied, grimacing as she forced down a mouthful of the gelatinous gruel. “Niffs want me to ‘stay close’ until they get all the power restored.” Not that she had a home to return to anyway.

“You...” this time Felix did venture a glance at her before returning to his game. “You’re not with them, right?”

Valeria frowned. It hadn’t escaped her notice the way people looked at her every time she left or returned in the company of an Imperial officer. “I just want to make it so that everyone can go home.”

Felix nodded, giving her something that almost looked like a smile, and their conversation lapsed into a familiar silence. After finishing about half of the ration she’d been given, Valeria pushed it away, unable to stomach any more of the stuff.

“Do you have any family outside the city, Felix?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.

Felix shrugged, as predicted, but then he spoke. “They don’t talk to us. They, um, don’t like my mom.”

Valeria wanted to tell him that it didn’t matter, that his family would be happy to hear from him, to know he was still alive. But she knew how this sort of thing went, had seen it play out at least a dozen times with her peers. Some perceived slight over money or favor, choosing the wrong woman or man, and the grudge was cast for life. And the older and more privileged the family, the more stubborn and prideful they were.

“Reaching out might be worth a try,” was the best she could say without feeling like she was deceiving him. Felix’s phone suddenly beeped with a sound she did recognize, the tone signalling a low battery.

“Crap,” he said, “Gotta go charge.”

“I left the cord all wound up for you in the usual spot.” Valeria rose to her feet and grabbed her plate. “I suppose I should go see what the Brigadier General has to say for himself today.” Loqi had asked her to meet him at the entrance to the camp this morning. “See you later, kid.”

“See ya,” Felix said with a wave.

Valeria tossed the rest of her breakfast in the trash and exited the tent, rolling her shoulder as she made her way through the maze of tents. Her stitches had come out several days earlier and she’d been cleared to use her left arm, but the muscles in her chest and shoulder were stiff and achy.

The infirmary tent had since been packed up and gone, replaced with something more akin to a small first-aid station. Most of the severely injured had died; those who still clung to life had been moved to a real building in one of the restored neighborhoods.

The list of the dead had more than doubled in size - nearly four hundred names were listed now - a small percentage of Insomnia’s total population, but the vast majority of the city’s leaders were gone. Identifying the body of Ignis’s uncle had been worse than her mother in some ways; she’d met the man a handful of times, but had no real connection to him outside of his nephew, which meant that she was only able to provide the Niff in charge with vague details. She’d ended up sorting through piles and piles of photos of dead men: some so serene they could almost be mistaken for sleeping, others with their faces frozen in a rictus of silent, final horror. When she’d finally happened upon the late elder Scientia, she found him looking relatively peaceful, eyes open but face slack, blood leaking from his nose onto his graying mustache. For his sake, and Ignis’s, she hoped it was quick.

She was halfway back to the entrance when Loqi Tummelt found her.

“Miss Soleil,” he said with a nod, the smile on his face most likely due to locating her and not friendliness. After working with him for the past week, she wouldn’t say Loqi exactly liked her, but he seemed to respect her, and - most importantly - trust the version of herself that she’d sold him.

“Brigadier General,” she replied. “You have work for me today, right?”

“The engineers got the generator all set to your specifications for Sector Two. We just need you to do your thing.” They’d already made the rounds in ‘Sector One’ - despite Valeria writing down the actual names of all the districts, Loqi and the other Niffs still insisted on referring to the areas by their numerical designations.

Loqi still had his limp as she followed him out of the camp, but it was far less pronounced and seemed to be causing him significantly less pain. There were still a few small band-aids on his jaw, but the large bandage was gone, revealing smooth, pink scars. They looked slight and narrow, like they’d disappear entirely in time, unlike the knotty, red oval on her shoulder. That might have bothered her once, in another life, but after watching her mother die, after sorting through all those terrible photos of dead men, getting off with a rough scar and a bit of soreness seemed like a blessing.

She and Loqi met his soldiers in what used to be an athletic field; the Niffs now used the wide, flat space to land their transport ships. He barked orders to some of his subordinates and then they were off in the transport, touching down after ten minutes or so in the designated area.

Someone of Loqi Tummelt’s rank might actually possess the information on the Crystal that she sought, or at the very least, provide a more educated guess than the relief workers, but Valeria was still waiting for an opening to come up organically in conversation so as not to arouse any suspicions. To go along with that, she’d been presenting herself as generally nosy as they made their rounds installing the magitek generators into the existing power grid.

“So,” Valeria said as they walked down the empty street. “Is your dad a bigshot in the military? Or, uh...a Duke?” She couldn’t quite recall the ranks of the Imperial nobility; that sort of thing was more Ignis’s area of expertise.

Loqi shot her a glare that said far more than any verbal response while the awful magitek troopers settled into formation behind them.

“Hey. I’m not judging you,” she went on. “I got my job because of nepotism. I’m very good at my job, but they don’t usually hand out executive positions to twenty year-olds.”

Loqi shot her another look before turning back to the road and muttering, “Earl.”

“What?”

“My father’s an Earl.”

Valeria merely nodded in response. The son of a nobleman who’d likely had everything handed to him his entire life - not unlike most of the people she’d gone to school with. The more she searched for a reason to hate him, the more he seemed like everyone else she knew, just in a different uniform.

“There were Nif- uh, Imperials in the Citadel that night,” she blurted out. Part of her hoped he’d laugh cruelly at his countrymen’s demise, prove that all Niffs were truly vile, but all he did was frown.

“What are you talking about?”

“They were there, during the attack.” Valeria supposed they could have used the distraction of the fireworks display to vacate the Citadel, but there was no way they’d made it out of the blast zone in such a short time.

“Did you not know that?” She asked as Loqi’s scowl deepened.

He cocked his head, like he was about to respond, but then shook it instead. “Let’s just get this done.”

“Alright.” Valeria knew better than to push him.

She followed Loqi into the building that housed the power substation in this area, finding more Imperial soldiers who had already assembled the massive magitek generator. Valeria understood how they worked to a point, but had yet to discover what material exactly served as fuel. It wasn’t combustion, she noted, observing the glowing red haze that was apparently the byproduct of whatever reaction. Strange, she thought, unaware of any chemical or physical process that produced such an effect.

The Niffs had brought all the appropriate cords and converters, and, having already done this a few times, quickly hooked everything up under her supervision. She then booted up the computer attached to the substation, and set to work on the real reason she was brought here.

Valeria typed in the administrative password, then tapped through the menus on the touchscreen, clearing all the flags and warnings that announced the central reactors were down, and then implemented the protocols that allowed the substation to run on auxiliary power.

“You could just write all that down for me,” Loqi said over her shoulder as Valeria logged out of the computer. “Then you wouldn’t have to come out here every time.”

Valeria turned around and looked him in the eye. “That’s alright,” she said with knowing smile. “I sleep a lot better knowing you people have a very good reason not to shoot me full of holes.”

With all the troopers, the soldiers and their rifles, Loqi could have surrounded her and forced her to give it all up right there, but he merely gave her an appraising nod.

“Well then,” he said. “I guess we better get you back before the sun goes down.”

Valeria returned to the relief camp just as the sun began to set; her stomach was growling, but with the prospect of nothing but more bland rations waiting for her dinner, she turned towards her bunk instead.

More than one person gave her a suspicious look as she made her way down the row, but she ignored them. She looked for Felix instead, to see if he’d at least sit with her during her evening ‘meal.’ But his cot was empty.

Valeria assumed he must have gone to the toilets or to get something to eat, but then something else - or the lack of something - caught her eye. His backpack and Academy jacket, usually stuffed messily under his cot, were missing as well.

“Hey,” Valeria said to the nearest person. “The kid who sleeps there,” she pointed to Felix’s cot, “do you know where he went?”

“No clue,” the person said. “Haven’t seen him all day.” Every person she asked responded the same way - they either had never noticed him at all, or hadn’t seen him since the morning. Was it possible that he’d taken her advice, gotten in touch with his family and found his way out of this miserable place? It was the only explanation that even made a bit of sense, and she had almost started to feel happy for him when she saw it. His phone charger...cord still wound up in the same position where she’d left it in the morning.

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