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laineystein · 3 years

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“This is new.”

The Boy™️ and I went out for his birthday on Thursday night. His favorite restaurant happens to be close to where we both grew up so we drove through the same neighborhoods that raised us - streets we walked to get to school or back and forth from the houses we grew up in. Of course, we ran into three separate people we knew. This seems to be a trend lately. It’s like our past, every little detail we’ve been so good at keeping hidden, keeps rearing its head, demanding to be dealt with. One of the people we ran into was a teacher we both had in yeshiva and they commented “oh, this is new!” And we both smiled and laughed and wished them a good shabbat. We didn’t talk about it then but we spent Shabbos together – alone – and we spent most of the night unpacking all of it.

This wasn’t the first time we’d heard it. It’s all anyone seems to say lately. When I had a ride to the airport at 4am and my mother strong-armed me into admitting who it was she said “oh, that’s new”. When his Modox parents were a bit passive-agressive toward me earlier in the summer because suddenly I was *everywhere*, I finally got his mother to admit that she worried about our relationship simply because it “came out of nowhere”…because “it’s new” and a lot of our “decisions seem impulsive.”

No. This isn’t new. We’re not new. Our relationship is 15 years old. This has been a thing - many things, actually - for a decade and a half. I have been in love with this man for half of my life but to the world, even the people we love the most, yes - this is new. And I can’t argue with them. We don’t. We have no idea how to handle this.

We were fifteen and sixteen. Simply put - being a teenager means being young and dumb and somehow being terrified and craving happiness in equal amounts. He was (is) my best friend’s brother and they’re extremely close. On top of that, he’s Modox and I wasn’t and am not. His family never treated me differently, even when other families did - especially early on at yeshiva when it was very clear that I was raised differently than most of my classmates. But I loved them and they loved me. They loved me as their daughter’s best friend. It didn’t make sense to explain that I was more than that with their son - especially because we didn’t know what that was.

We were teenagers! We were intense and fearless and manic and we were absolutely terrified of letting anyone down. We’re both the first born in our immigrant Jewish families. There has always been so much pressure on each of us to be the best - the smartest, the most hardworking. For him - the most devout. We both had to marry well and have big Jewish families. We were the product of generations of trauma - children and grandchildren of families that had consistently escaped persecution and now we were seemingly well adjusted teenagers in America, finally free to live the lives everyone who came before us fought so hard for. It was a lot of pressure, all the time. But together? No pressure. The things I struggled to tell his sister - how much I hated my yeshiva uniform, how marriage and children weren’t in the forefront of my mind yet…everything I couldn’t tell anyone else in the world, I told The Boy™️.

That’s where the name comes from - and those of you who used to follow my studyblr know I talked about him often. I never talked about him by name. His sister always thought I had someone in Israel that I had this big crush on. And I did. When he was in Israel with me I had a huge crush on him. But I loved him in Brooklyn too. I loved him when we traveled to France and Amsterdam and Italy. I spent four out of my five IDF civilians (time off from the military) with him and no one knew. We have lived so many lives together. We’ve experienced so many things, side by side, and no one had any clue. And we watched each other love other people and try to make it work with people that weren’t us. But ultimately he was the one who helped me through breakups and med school. He was the person that literally saved my life in 2020 when my shifts at the hospital during COVID had me so mentally and physically exhausted that I could barely get out of bed…literally. Then when things calmed down I realized, it didn’t matter what was going on in the world, he’s always been my biggest supporter and I cannot and will not live without him and the fact that we weren’t sharing this thing that made us both so undeniably happy just felt ridiculous and unfair.

But we didn’t know how to even explain everything so we kind of…didn’t? It was never “this is my best friend and we’re in love” it was “I’m going to Israel and he’s coming too”. We alternated Shabbos between his parents’ house and mine. All the while everyone is hesitant, almost nervous - this is new, this is new, this is new. It’s not new. But this is the first time we’re admitting how we feel and what we are to the people we love. He’s not just my friend’s brother. He’s not even just my best friend or my boyfriend. He’s the man I want to marry and have a family with. I get why our families are so confused. They have no idea all we’ve done and how so many of the things they celebrate in us - our jobs, our successes, our faith - is because of the other.

So we have to start being honest. They’ll never truly get it if they can’t see how deep it is, if they can’t acknowledge the history. But how do we explain it? We are who we are because once upon a time we were both really struggling with our faith. We thought we were terrible Jews because we didn’t want the things our parents wanted. I didn’t believe in tzniut. Some days he didn’t either. We were doing things we were told kids in yeshiva don’t do! We were having sex and smoking weed and going to bars in the city because we could. But it wasn’t about being a part of the goy world. We didn’t want that. We just wanted to be who we were in the Jewish world and we had no idea how to do that. For so long it felt like it was us against the world - Jewish and gentle. We didn’t fit in with either but we could be who we wanted to be, together, in this weird in-between. He’s safety. He always has been. When I have a thought and I know no one in the world will understand it, I know he’s the exception. We always felt like we were judged, even inadvertently by people who swore they were being open minded and supportive, but together that was never a worry. So how do we explain that?

We don’t. We won’t. We need to be honest about some things: about how far our friendship goes back, about the depth of it - then and now. Everyone else is free to make their own assumptions. They can draw their own conclusions or they can just learn to accept us as we are now. The weird part is that everyone has been much more accepting than we imagined - especially his sister. She loves our relationship so much, to the point that we feel bad for keeping it from her for so long. But we don’t know if we’d be who we are now if we hadn’t lived this other life together. We weren’t wrong. Having this one thing in life that is untouched by the world was magical. We still have days where we miss it, especially now as questions of marriage and children flood in. But we’ve agreed that we’ll be honest with our children. All of it.

I guess a lot of this for us wasn’t just about *us* but about who each of us are as people. We’ve always worn so many labels. We’re completely opposites but we have fundamental similarities. We both love being Jewish. We’re loud and proud, unapologetic Jews. But we weren’t always! And the secret nature of our relationship aside, that’s what’s the most difficult for us to acknowledge publicly - myself in particular. I get a lot of that - often from many of you. I am so so honored that where I am with my faith today, at 31, is something so many of you admire. I can’t even begin to explain to you how much that means to me. But I guess it’s important to note that this was a journey. I was a mess. I always loved being a Jew but for several years I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know that I had the power to write my own narrative and live my life as a Jew on my own terms. The strength and confidence you see now is because all of the bullshit I went through before. Even now I am constantly learning. Every day I become more and more secure in my role as a Jewish woman, now that I can define what that means for me.

And that’s all I want for any of you! Live your Jewish truth! We are all products of so much hardship. We really do deserve to be the best version of ourselves. We deserve happiness and security in our relationships, in our careers, in every aspect of life possible. And if you’re not there yet - if you wake up wondering where you fit into the Tribe, that’s okay! You will get there! Being a Jew is a super power!!! You just need to figure out how to be a Jew in a way that makes the most sense to you. There truly is no one way to be a Jew - no wrong way to be a Jew. Being a Jew, in any capacity, makes you an awesome Jew. I wish I had someone to tell me that but I didn’t. It took me many years to be where I am now. So for anyone who needs to hear it: you’re an awesome Jew and I’m so proud of you!

#blog-ish things #Jew things #the boy™️#personal #about me #this was kind of all over the place so if you read it...apologies but also thanks?#I tried to make sense but it's a mess because at one point in my life I was a mess and some days I'm still a mess AND THAT'S OKAY!#anyway. you're all wonderful. I hope you're enjoying your weekends!

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la-galaxie-langblr · 4 years

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I've never done this type of post before but it's sort of still within the studyblr theme and I have some Thoughts™ so I may as well.

I can't do a read more on mobile and this will be a long post so be warned.

One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus Review (contains spoilers)

(excuse the bad cropping I tried)

The Breakfast Club meets Pretty Little Liars, One of Us Is Lying is the story of what happens when five strangers walk into detention and only four walk out alive. Everyone is a suspect, and everyone has something to hide.

Pay close attention and you might solve this.

On Monday afternoon, five students at Bayview High walk into detention.

Bronwyn, the brain, is Yale-bound and never breaks a rule.

Addy, the beauty, is the picture-perfect homecoming princess.

Nate, the criminal, is already on probation for dealing.

Cooper, the athlete, is the all-star baseball pitcher.

And Simon, the outcast, is the creator of Bayview High's notorious gossip app.

Only, Simon never makes it out of that classroom. Before the end of detention, Simon's dead. And according to investigators, his death wasn't an accident. On Monday, he died. But on Tuesday, he'd planned to post juicy reveals about all four of his high-profile classmates, which makes all four of them suspects in his murder. Or are they the perfect patsies for a killer who's still on the loose?

Everyone has secrets, right? What really matters is how far you would go to protect them.

Description from Goodreads.com

TW - mentions and themes of depression, suicide, mental illness, homophobia, being outed

What I liked

I generally liked the four main characters, they have personalities and flaws and they're likeable for the most part

Addy's character arc was probably my favourite, her realisation that Jake was a controlling boyfriend, cutting off her hair and expressing herself, becoming more independent from her mother and learning to improve her relationship with her sister, in general I liked the character she became by the end

Speaking of sisters, I liked the dynamic between Maeve and Bronwyn. Bronwyn doesn't baby her despite her medical history and they get on well, as well as the odd normal sibling arguments

Despite being sceptical at first, I thought Nate and Bronwyn's romance was quite cute by the end of the novel

There was decent suspense surrounding the mystery

As much as I found flaws in Cooper's story (see below) I liked how he could have been the horrible jock, but he was actually a decent person. A nice difference from the typical jock character

Nonny is my favourite adult. We love wise old ladies

What I disliked

I called quite a lot of the major plot points. Not to brag or anything, but it shows it's slightly predictable at times. I predicted that Bronwyn and Nate would get together pretty early in the book, I predicted that Janae would be involved, I predicted that it would be a suicide. I predicted those last two about 2/3 of the way through the book so it wasn't obvious from the start but yeah

The characters are very one dimensional and stereotypical at the start, and if it weren't for sheer will power I would have given up fairly quickly. Bronwyn is a geek who does all the extracurriculars, Nate is a bad boy with a criminal record, Cooper is great at sports and Addy is very shallow. Literally what they're said to be on the title in the first few chapters

The good girl/bad boy romance between Bronwyn and Nate was predictable. I've read enough Wattpad books to know the formula and spot the signs - childhood friends, pretend to have nothing to do with each other but actually have feelings for each other secretly, good girl finds out that bad boy has bad home life, bad boy finds out good girl isn't as much of a rule stickler as first appears, love. Ta da. A couple

I was disappointed with Cooper's arc and story. I thought near the start when it was shown that all of them have secrets "If one of the characters' secrets is that one of them is gay, that could be cool to explore the themes of homophobia in high schools. It would be even cooler if it was Cooper, as toxic masculinity within sports is a problem" I was proud of myself for kind of calling that one but I was disappointed with how it was handled

I feel like we could have seen more of Cooper and his father repairing their relationship after Cooper is forced to come out due to circumstances. Like the father is disappointed, then a couple chapters later he's kind of talking to him again only after Cooper starts receiving baseball offers again. There's no awkward conversation, no trying to understand from the father, it just happens and then it seems to be over and is never touched on again. There could have been a lot more done with this plot point and I feel he was robbed of the character development that the other three got, especially Addy. I was so happy with her arc and disappointed with Cooper's

There was no follow up with the police basically outing Cooper and getting away with it?? Like there's talk of people being angry at what the police did but the police never faced consequences nor was there any discussion within the novel about why outing someone is bad. I know it's not the main plot of the novel and I'm not expecting a Simon-Martin-carpark masterpiece exchange like in Simon vs The Homosapiens Agenda but there could have been something??

Sidenote - I want to do more book reviews, especially on queer books, and Simon will be the first.

There was the cafeteria scene and the mention of those boys being nasty at a baseball game but Cooper faces relatively little opposition after coming out. Yes, I want queer characters to be happy. Yes, I know this is not the main plot of the book. I'm just saying Cooper was robbed of a good character arc and if there had been more between him and his father I would have less complaints

I get why he cheated on Keeley, compulsory heteronormativity is a real and difficult problem, but Cooper faces no consequences for cheating on Keeley. She's not my favourite character for reasons I don't know how to explain but she deserved better

The explanation of how and why for the ending is confusing to read, we know almost nothing before Janae reveals everything. It's a lot of info to take in at once and so it makes everything very confusing

OK here we go, my big problem with the book - its handling of mental health, particularly depression, self harm and suicide. Final TW before things get serious.

The final twist of revealing that Simon's death wasn't murder, it was suicide - I get he was depressed, I get his reasons, but I've also seen other people complain about this - Suicide is a delicate and serious topic that needs to be handled with sensitivity and shouldn't be a plot twist for shock factor. No hate to the author, but it needs to be said, I don't like how this was handled at all

I have similar comments to write for Leah's character

Final rating - 2/5 (⭐⭐⚫⚫⚫)

The characters are what saves this from a lower rating. I was disappointed in general - with Cooper's arc, the handling of sensitive topics and the ending. I'd heard such good things about this book and I'm disappointed.

If you liked this book, tell me why! Yes I was very critical, but I want to hear different opinions so my view of the book becomes more rounded. I want to do more of these so I hope you enjoyed :)

#book review #bookblr #one of us is lying #long post #spoilers #galaxiegoals

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caws5749 · 4 years

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This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

#madison speaks #ask game

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chopinspiano · 5 years

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Wouldn't light academia be essentially studyblr

it could be but not essentially. Light academia is a literal opposite to dark academia ( happiness/grief, light/darkness, life/death )

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world-en0ugh-and-time · 5 years

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21 Questions!

tagged by @nbgallifreys, thank you <3 (sorry this is v late!!)

Nicknames: Em (Emz if you’re my dad), ‘Dronners’ when I was at school

Zodiac: saggitarius

Height: 5’5 I think

Last movie you watched: ermmm I think it was actually the 1950s adaptation of An Inspector Calls haha (my tutee is doing it for her gcse)

Last thing you googled: ‘southerndown strand’, haha that’s the real name of bad wolf bay, I was figuring how much the train there would cost as I live in Cardiff so it’s not far away and I need a day trip/a nice cry lol

Favourite musician(s): Trash Boat, Creeper, Neck Deep, Mika lmao

Song stuck in my head: ‘l’Enfer’ by Kyo (I love french music)

Other blogs: my brand new studyblr @archaeologyanditaliano

Do I get asks? no :(

Following: 508 I think

Amount of sleep: it literally varies between 3 hours and 14 hours my sleep schedule is MESSED up

What I’m wearing? Leggings and a t shirt as alwaysss

Dream job? my unrealistic one is being an actress, my realistic one is professional archaeologist

Dream trip? it’s a very opposite split between Orlando to go to all the theme parks and a tour of all the archaeological landmarks in the world

Favourite food: burritos

Play any instruments: clarinet (used to play bass clarinet which was awesome but I had to give it back when I went to uni :(( ), most brass instruments, bit of piano and guitar

Languages: english, french (bit rusty but got an A level in it) and italian

Random fact? I am going to live in Sardinia next year as part of my degree, excitinggg

Favourite song? that’s not fair I have so many, probs Catharsis by Trash Boat or Laika by Boston Manor

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: oh god lol, ermm, the night’s sky, wild horses, the lights flashing from a aeroplane in the night, crown shyness

I tag @marionas-garden-party + literally anyone else that wants to!

#tag game #nbgallifreys #meee #fun facts #i love being tagged in these thank u!#21 questions

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cacteasplant · 6 years

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vocab list ideas;

(also in no particular order)

fundamentals

common adjectives

common verbs

common adverbs

common nouns

common prepositions

alphabet

colors

shapes

time

directions

prepositions

essential words

food

family; friends

greetings; leavings

interrogatives

irregular verbs

passive verbs

reflexive verbs

helping verbs

popular names

money

numbers

pronouns

determiners

clothes

drinks

forms of address (like mr and mrs, kun and chan, etc)

feelings; expressions

quantity (and counters)

jobs; occupations

manners

opposites

sports

house pets

weather

measurements

situations; locations

airport

asking for help

around the office/business

camping

describing and introducing

apologizing and excusing

city

country

hotel

library

mall

marriage

dating

outdoor

indoor

park

post office

prison

promising

relationships

restaurants

salon

school

shopping

sleep

spa

space

taxi

forgetting and remembering

wishing

emergencies

feelings; styles

angry

embarrassed

ashamed

calm

cool

coziness

cute

sexy

frustrated

happy

sad

depressed

confused

mischievous

laziness

love

heartbroken

smart

inspired

peaceful

grunge

street

minimality

useful

around the house

body and hair

cooking

baking

driving

exercising

flirty phrases

idiomatic phrases

internet

personality traits

phone manners

simple math

texting

transportation

sarcasm

slang

subjects

anatomy

biology

botanical gardening

ecology

geography

geology

psychology

chemistry

physics

law

education

marketing

law enforcement

trigonometry

health/medical

common school subjects

foreign language

philosophy

college majors

daily; different

These are the ones that change in some way (whether you do a different thing each day/week/whatever based on a picture or say you see “Finding Dory”).

aesthetics; pictures

tv shows

movies

books

games

fairy tales

websites (tumblr, we heart it, whatever)

music

moodboards

month/day (like a list based on monday or january)

youtube videos

holidays

seasons

subgenred

These are the ones that can be split into a series. For example, “beauty” is the category, but I make vocabulary lists like “makeup” or “hygiene” from it.

animals

art

beauty

books

movies

five senses

music

myths; mythological creatures; fantasy

fun

animal names

animal sounds

bands

common gifts

common likes and dislikes

hobbies

onomatopoeias

curses

earth and planets

anime

fairy tales

fashion

festiivals

holidays

fun stuff

funny, literal, interesting translations

gaming

websites

new years resolutions

night/morning routine

school routine

lazy days

nsfw

pet names (for couples)

asmr

studyblr

tea/coffee

traveling

...words

beautiful

dirty

funny

fun

small

loan

cute

cool

untranslatable

interesting

long

short

not typically useful

types of buildings

cars

crime

children

alcohol

essay terms

furniture

homonyms

hues and shades

insults

historical figures

lgbt

linguistic terms

mathematical terms

medical terms

medicine

herbs

nature

types of parks

politics

religions

school supplies

science terms

types of shops

spices and sweets

spiritual

types of vehicles

mind and soul

diseases (mental and physical)

body language

zodiacs/astrological stuff

part-time jobs

culture

nationalities

languages

ethnicities

countries

(country) food

(country) culture

(country) pop culture

popular desserts

popular restaurants

popular meals

popular musicians

popular artists

popular directors

popular fast food joints

popular actors

popular authors

popular models

popular companies

stages of life

preschool

kindergarten

elementary

middle school

high school

university

puberty

childhood

adulthood

getting old

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rylie-studies · 5 years

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hi I have an important thing to share: I saw a cute dog today! Did you see any cute dogs recently? Do they instantly make your day feel better too?

Hello angel!! That’s so incredible omg, I’m so happy for you!! Seeing cute dogs (especially unexpectedly) is literally one of the best feelings ever! Unfortunately I didn’t see any cute dog today or any animal really for that matter (I did see a bird this morning when I looked outside for a brief second, but then it flew away!!), but whenever I do see them, they definitely instantly make my day feel better!! I’m a whole hoe for cute and precious things like they make my heart feel so gooey and content and I spend my time internally screaming because I feel like I’m about to explode because of the cuteness!! One thing that made my day feel a whole lot better today was the fact that I had two free periods (so basically 90 minutes of not being in a class) which happens every other day (so tomorrow I’m not going to have it) and also feeling really cozy and comfortable in the outfit that I chose to wear!! Although I was initially feeling really shitty, the fact that I actually chose to dress the opposite of how I felt made me feel so much better so I’d definitely recommend it like even if it’s super difficult to give a damn because you’re so stressed out or anxious, just giving some effort on your outfit actually helps a ton! We also got to go outside today and sit on the grass under the sun during my French class and it was really refreshing! I hope your time in the studyblr community has been very enjoyable, sweets! Feel free to tag me in any content that you decide to post because I’d love to see them!! x

#terencehiggs #replies #i'm a whole sucker for cute things seriously fkdkdjfj

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albondigyoza · 5 years

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Studyblr - Spring 19, Week 2

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, everybody!

I am, of course, thankful for innumerable things King either did or influenced, the absolute least of which is that I have an extra day to get this out. Two weeks in, and I’m already procrastinating.

Descriptions below the cut

ASB 210

Remember what I said about procrastinating? In all my other classes my daily presence makes this a non-issue. This class, on the other hand, is online, and therefore I’m walking a tightrope of deadlines and laziness every week. Which led to me missing pretty much every deadline for this week. RIP.

MAT 544

As field theory slowly evolves into Galois Theory, I find myself falling in love with Algebra all over again. Things are about to get good, I can feel it.

MAT 412

As studying curves morphs into... studying curves, I find myself questioning why I’m in this class more and more. Exact opposite feelings from the previous class.

MAT 473

While the class hasn’t particularly changed since the first week, normed vector spaces are interesting enough that I’m not disappointed

MAT 542

I understand the need for a firm grasp of Algebraic Geometry in this class, but it’s starting to get a bit tiresome only learning buildup to the main event.

PHY 334

This class is just labs. Like, literally just labs. We do four labs, write them up, go home. Not a bad deal, but not super interesting to write about. Measuring thermionic emissions from a really old bulb is pretty cool tho.

#studyblr #mathblr #math

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sixthformstudy · 6 years

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My Sixth Form Story

I started this blog in year 12. It started as a fun way to encourage me to revise but turned out very different. I’ve always had perfectionistic tendencies and being in the studyblr community encouraged me to work myself to the bone.

After my first year of sixth form, I started to develop an eating disorder which only made things worse. By the end of my first term in year 13, I was admitted into hospital and my main concern was falling behind in my study schedule. I was hooked up to machines yet I took it as an opportunity to work longer hours. I couldn’t think straight but that didn't stop me obsessing over flashcards, self-testing and textbooks.

I continued like this for months, jeopardising my health. I was determined to make it back to school and complete my exams, staying up to date from hospital and eventually from home. I wasn’t allowed back to school but I still needed all A*s and I needed to get them that year.

Two months before I was due to take my exams, I had to accept I wasn’t going to make it back to school. It was the hardest decision I had to make, but going to hospital four days a week really messed with my revision schedule, as much as I tried to have it all. So, this September, I went back to school to repeat year 13. All my old friends went to university and I had to fit in with a new year group. I was so down on myself and I resented having to repeat-- I felt like a failure. I was supposed to be smart! I thought.

But I was determined to do it differently this time. My therapist and I worked out a maximum number of hours a week of revision and we cut down my days at hospital to just two-- freeing me up to go to school three days a week. I was terrified and was convinced it wouldn’t work. How could I do what I thought was so little revision while also missing 40% of my classes and get the grades I relied on for my self worth?

I’ll admit, it was hard work. I had to change everything I thought I knew about studying and effort. I had to find balance- something I’ve never been great at. I had to stop myself if I hit my maximum hours for the week and allow myself to not hit that maximum very frequently at all. When I felt myself getting burned out, I took a week off. A week where I would do literally nothing study-related. Sometimes, I would take longer. Then, I would go back to my routine without compensating for the ‘lost’ days of work. I listened to my needs and responded to them accordingly.

I took my exams this year, having not been on this account since my first shot at year 13. This month, I got my results which have allowed me to go to my university of choice (a fact I’m still struggling to believe). I did that by adopting a healthier attitude towards my study and finding self-esteem in other places. But, I would have been okay without those grades, too.

I did as much work as I could without sacrificing anything else in my life and whatever grades that level of work would get me would be good enough. If I had to work harder to get the grades for a certain university, my mental health and quality of life would have suffered and I would have had to keep that up for my degree but that’s no way to live. I trusted the process and believed I would end up wherever I was supposed to be. And I think I have.

For me, the studyblr community just perpetuated these impossibly high standards I had of myself and so removing myself was the best thing I could do for me. That’s just my experience and I’m sure many others have found the opposite to be true for them, but if this post helps even one person then it was worth sharing.

Goodbye and good luck

sixthformstudy x

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hufflepuffwannabe · 6 years

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@unforgettablelex replied to your post “I liked the point you made about doing...”

I mean my whole problem with this discourse is that people are getting mad at other people for buying fancy things but like aren’t actually doing anything about it. And by doing something about it, I mean, it’s literally within your own power to post and follow not fancy studyblrs. Like they do exist within the community and your tumblr is your own curated thing. I mean..? Does this make sense. Also sorry didn’t mean to dump that here

Don’t apologize; you weren’t dumping. And you’re making perfect sense: I THINK YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD as to what’s been bothering me. I wanted to curtail people’s negative feelings, valid though they are, so that they could move on and live satisfied lives--but they are complaining instead. Doing just the opposite of what I had hoped. Your dashboard exists to inspire you, and if fancy studyspo pics bring you down, either accept them as they are or unfollow, unfollow, unfollow.

#unforgettablelex #studyblr #text

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drafthearse · 7 years

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Can we get some soft jax and khris content

[SLAMS HANDS DOWN ON TABLE] YES

cool so like on the surface they seem like. the literal definition of opposites attract. like we got jax and his black clothes and his bloody noses and his utter fucking lack of an ability to cope with literally anything and then we got khris with his ikea furniture and his gray suits and his like. like khris is the kind of guy to make a studyblr. but u dig a little deeper and they’re actually pretty similar when it comes to like?? attitudes. and values and stuff. which IMO is the most important bit, who cares if one of u likes hardcore punk and the other likes fucking house music or w/e. as long as you can get on the same wavelength and agree about the important stuff ur good. and they can get on the same wavelength!! idk what i’m saying anyway here’s the actual soft content you asked for

listen like. EVENTUALLY they move in together and once that happens they get DOMESTIC as fuck and it’s my fave fucking thing....

neither of them can cook for SHIT so they eat out/order takeout like. almost every fucking day because they’re HOPELESS. jax tried to make spaghetti once. he forgot to add water. similarly, khris has literally no idea how herbs work so whenever he cooks he throws in like a tablespoon of everything in the cabinet and it’s the fucking worst. THEY EAT A LOT OF CHINESE TAKEOUT

khris kept his apartment pretty bare when he lived in there alone? he’d just never been one to have a lot of stuff or w/e but once jax moves in, the whole place just starts to feel more like a HOME yknow.... jax puts all his records on the shelves and khris throws out his wine rack and they buy a lot of throw pillows because jax secretly loves lying around in piles of bedding and khris starts bringing home weird metal sculptures he thinks jax might like..

and whenever jax gets home he takes his shirt off like first thing and drops it on the floor and it annoys the fuck out of khris but whenever he brings it up jax is like “do you want me to put it back on” and khris is like “.....no >:/”

khris will try to get jax to watch a movie with him on the couch in the evenings and jax will get distracted after like 15 minutes and start trying to make out

jax’s sister gets them a really low-maintenance plant in a skull-shaped pot and they both think it’s the coolest fucking thing and argue over who to name it after (jax says glenn danzig, khris says carl linnaeus)

#listen like. these guys. oh man #original octp #oc #sc

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artstvdies · 6 years

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hey that’s funny that you say you don’t have time to do bujo and will instead do planners, I feel it’s the complete opposite for me, planners are way too stressful somehow. (idk how. it’s literally the simplest, I just can’t grasp it.) Anyway, just thought it was interesting. I’ll reblog your stuff, spread the word of different styles of learning and organization! 🍀

Well, i am so busy with my studies and looking for jobs and i do have a social life (shocking i know) that i just don’t have the time to MAKE a bujo. I’m very perfectionistic and just the thought of designing spreads and everything stresses me out because i need so much time to design and make it. But what you’re saying is exactly the point, everything works differently for everyone. And being a studyblr doesn’t mean that you HAVE to have a bujo, that you HAVE to have expensive muji stationary etc. And i know a lot of people feel forced to fit this aesthetic. Me too. But you don’t have to. Just do what works best for you and what helps you being productive. Thank you for helping me out in this project! Also, thank you very very very much for being my first ever ask!!!

#artstvdies

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mssng-lttrs · 7 years

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are poetry circles already a thing on tumblr?

if not, then i claim the original idea. although i bet someone’s already done this.

anyways, the idea i came up with is doing a poetry circle. i got inspired by studyblrs’ sleepovers and thought of doing something similar to that but involving poetry. i know that there’s a whole poetry community, but there are so many people with words that are begging to be read that aren’t getting the attention they deserve. so this is basically just a way for poets to be noticed by more people and can potentially be a way of finding new blogs to follow!

it’s super easy to be involved in these poetry circles. all you need to do is:

- post an original poem with the tag #ptrycrcl (you probably wouldn’t be able to tell what this is supposed to be, but i’m keeping up with my no vowels theme lmao)

- you can also mention me ( @mssng-lttrs ) or add the tag #mssnglttrs if you’d especially like me to look at your piece (look at me pretending like i’m some big poetry blog when i’m the exact opposite...)

and that’s literally it. i’m on tumblr a lot, so poems posted with the tag are always going to be noticed by at least one person (me) and hopefully they’ll be able to get even more love!

- i will like every poem that’s tagged and reblog poems that i think are just absolutely amazing (though i’m sure they’re all going to get reblogged. tumblr has an amazing and talented community of writers/poets omg)

if this ends up being something that gains success, then here’s a few general rules:

- please don’t misuse the tag!

- no hate is tolerated on posts under the tag. (and just shouldn’t exist in general but whatever. hate isn’t great.)

- however, if you are open to critiques and criticism, then you must clearly state so

- don’t repost others’ poetry, but do support by liking and reblogging

if you think that this is a good idea, then please reblog this post so i’m aware that other people are interested!!

P.S. a new wednesday writing is going to be up on wednesday, so look forward to that. :) #shameless self-promo.

(there’s a whole bunch of tags because i really hope that this can spread and be at least slightly successful)

21.08.2017

edit: this tag isn’t restricted to only poetry. go ahead and use the tag to share prose as well. i’m always down to read some original fiction! however, please remember to keep it appropriate. (if you have to second guess it, then it’s probably inappropriate) - 15.09.2017

#ptrycrcl #poetry #poems #late night poetry #poets on tumblr #poetrycommunity #spilled ink #spilled words #spilled poetry #spilled thoughts #original #original works #original poetry #excerpts from a book i'll never write #writing community #writing #writers #mssnglttrs

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bookishprocrastinator · 7 years

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The 30 day studyblr challenge by @hayley-studies

6.7.2017

Day 20: Talk about your favourite fictional character

Okay, look. I don’t have _A_ favourite fictional character. Instead, I have like hundreds of favourite characters and I can’t ,for the life of me, decide my favourite. So, I’m just going to list a few of them and that’ll have to do, because I don’t have a day to decide my favourite. Be warned: it’s going to be a long ass list.

- Daenerys Targaryen (GoT). She is a badass. Actually, she is THE badass. I just love her no-bs-attitude and just everything about it.

- Another one from GoT: Tyrion Lannister. He’s just so damn smarter than anyone and I really love how caring he can be. Plus he can talk himself like out of everything

- Last from GoT: Jon Snow. Super predictable, but he is just amazing. Sometimes a bit too grim, but that’s actually not a bad thing. I can relate.

- Chandler (Friends). The most relatable character. ever. I mean with all the sarcasm and self-deprecating jokes? me.

- Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf). First of all: Dylan O’Brien. Second of all: Stiles is amazing and deserves the world

- Jugahead (Riverdale). Artsy angsty boi who doesn’t give a fuck. Perrfect (plus the sarcasm!)

- Robin (How I Met Your Mother) Badass Chick who also doesn’t give a fuck and is very ambitious. Idk I just like her overall attitude

- Clay (13 reasons why) Caring,sensitive, anxious little bean. A bit of sarcasm and confusion all-over.

- Tony Padilla (13 reasons why) He is amazing. Following Clay just to make sure he’s okay, prepared to drive him anywhere at 3AM. Also Badass. Also gay. ( also I love how they didn’t make him like stereotypical gay best friend)

- Sherlock (from Sherlock, duh) because damn he smart.

- Jason Bourne (Jason Bourne movies) because damn he smart. He just survives everything.

- Jim Kirk (Star Trek [especially the new ones, sorry]) again, he just survives everything and the don’t-give-a-fuck-attitude.

- Niffler (Fantastic Beast) okay, the cutest thing to ever happen on a movie.

- Katherine Johnson (Hidden Figures) OMG EVERYTHING. SHE IS PERFECT. I also love Dorothy and Mary, but I’ll just have admit that I prefer her, sorry.

- Sirius Black (HP) Again, the don’t give af thing?? Apparently I like that, hm. He cared about his friends tho, and I can just imagine him being the best damn prankster ever (with James,ofc (and Remus, but his not taking credit, he just is planning and making sure everything works out well)) But Sirius is amazing and deserved better.

- Remus Lupin (HP) Isn’t he just the most adorable? Just caring about everyone (see above) and being responsible, literally just the opposite of Sirius. He also deserved better.

- Crookshanks (HP) I just feel sorry for this poor kitty. Everyone hates him even though he is just livin’. Also, he reminds me of my cats

- Mark Watney (The Martian) Also, don’t-give-af-attitude and smart and survives everything. Also the sarcasm and snarky comebacks. And just overall laid-back feels

I’m pretty sure I forgot someone really important, but maybe I’ll just add to this if I remember. And here isn’t like everyone of my faves, because if I’d write them all, I’d still be writing here tomorrow. :)

#30 day studyblr challenge #studyblrchallengehayley #studyblr #bookblr #books #book character #movie characters #tv show characters #game of thrones #harry potter #star trek #13rw #teen wolf #study #riverdale #bookishprocrastinator

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