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#the umbrella academy incorrect quotes

Klaus: Yesterday, I had two eggs for breakfast, and I was starving. Today, I had four eggs, and I’m stuffed! Tomorrow-

Diego: Three eggs. I get it. We don’t need to talk.


Klaus: I was gonna say, ‘two eggs and one sausage.’

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Ben and Klaus PT 47

Klaus: Maybe, you should sit down and listen to The Cult Of Dionynus or Achilles Come Down

Ben: maybe, just maybe, you can’t fix everything with gay Greeks.

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Five: What happened?

Klaus: Well, remember when you told me not to burn down the house?

Five: You burned down the house!?

Klaus: No! I had the fire out almost immediately. This is a success story!

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[Five, thoroughly sloshed, giving Luther unsolicited dating advice]

Five: Women are like wolves. if you want a wolf, you have to trap it. you have to snare it. and then you have to tame it. keep it happy. care for it. feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved.

Five: *stares at vanya*

Five: And my animal deserves a lot of loving.

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