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eveningepiphany · 4 months

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something about the legs | h.s oneshot

summary: something about your best friends legs really does it for you, especially in skinny jeans…

warnings: besties with unexpected and very impulsive benefits, oral sex (mrec), lots and lots of talk about those mfing legs and thighs, dirty talk, h not expecting you to be like that until you are.

a/n: so it’s been a hot minute… hi again🤪 but something rlly just sent me spiralling with this pic of h’s fucking legs. look at them. anyways, enjoy me being a slut and channeling it into some fine literature, enjoy xoxo

———

Ovulation week is a curse. An absolute, utter curse.

Between the multitude of random fluctuating symptoms and skyrocketing hormones, you feel dreaded enough as it is. But the worst part, is every fucking month you become absolutely manic with need.

Some are increasingly better or worse than others, but this month is something off the charts.

There is no warrant for you to be this fucking horny at 9:32pm on a Thursday night. Yet here you are, squirming because you’re around someone that already riles you up enough as it is.

Harry is your best friend. Has been for years. Since the awkward starting phases of middle school. All braces paired with horrendous fashion choices. And into the ages of highschool throughout all the drama and predictable thematics. Into the present, where life throws you curveballs as you enter the world as young adults, and now that he’s in one direction. You can’t imagine going through all that with anyone else.

Actually, maybe it’s fit to mention you’re almost certain that this man never went through an awkward phase… despite the fact possibly everyone else on the planet did. Harry did not.

He was cute from the day he was born, it’s evident in the pictures, up until he hit puberty, then he became some ungodly mix of both cute and ridiculously hot.

It’s disgusting that someone can do both things at the same time. And also revolting that they can have no idea at all.

But tonight, he is all hot. Between the way he’s dressed, the way he’s walking, and the way he’s talking. It’s close to killing you where you’re sat.

Thighs clenched together like there’s a thousand dollar check between them, you sit on a outdoor couch at your family’s holiday house.

It’s just the two of you outside on the large decked patio. It’s a huge house by the lake that your parents and grandparents own, so you invited Harry to come stay for the week. Your family were thrilled you invited him, but have already turned in for an early night. Since they planned to be out on the lake for a day of water activities almost before the damn sun was even fully up.

Harry has a glass of alcohol in his hands— one that is completely dwarfed in his hold. It’s condensation forming small droplets over the ridges of his fingers.

He hasn’t realised the staring you’ve been doing, as he paces the deck talking about something to do with a recent song he’s been writing.

You’re sliding in small hums of agreement at the appropriate times without even hearing what he’s saying. Only the pleasing lilt in his voice that tickles your ears as it enters them.

He’s got those black skinny jeans on, the pair that cling to his hips for dear life. And not only are they fit to his hips, but they hug every single curve on his legs. The thick of his thighs all the way down to the muscle of his calf.

And if anything was the killer for you tonight, it was those.

You’re surprised you’re not drooling on yourself. Which is fucking disgusting, but fact. As there is an over-production of saliva in your mouth right now just looking at his legs.

He is so muscly there. The presumed strength of his thighs makes you actually pant, and you never thought legs did it for you like this. But my god right now, they certainly are.

“But I jus’ dunno Y/N,” he turns to you, causing you to snap your gaze from the curve of his ass which you were shamelessly just staring at, back to his face.

It doesn’t get better for you anywhere you look. The man was built and sculpted by a god. Every feature was painstaking to look at, and not be able to touch.

“What d’ya reckon would sound better?” He asks, nonchalantly, unaware you were just eyeing him up.

You feel some shame now, as you scramble to find an answer for the question you don’t even know the context for.

“Well, i think whatever you feel flows better. Yknow?” You swallow, praying to god it’s diluted enough of an answer that he’ll just take it without question.

He nods, and relief floods through you, “i s’pose you’re right.”

However that relief hardly lasts long, because he’s not as clueless as you’d presumed, “You’re pretty good at giving advice even when you’re only half listening.”

He saunters over from the span of deck he’d been pacing the last 10 minutes, sitting down next to you with a smug look on his face. You feel the cushions dip with his body weight, and you’re so delusioned that even a part of you twinges with desire at the understanding of his weight. The idea of him pressing it down on top of you during—

“What’s on ya mind, love, why are you s’faraway lookin’?” He asks, sipping at his drink with a quirk of his dark eyebrows.

“I—“ Christ. He’s manspreading a bit right now… thighs pushed apart, “I’m just tired. Been a big few days.”

His curly, and boyishly-messy hair is cascading over his forehead and casting a shadow of his green gaze, the same one that’s nailing you where you’re sat right now.

He doesn’t look very convinced. And he’s watching your eyes flicker around, looking guilty of a lie, presumably the words that just came from your mouth.

“You don’t have t’lie, dove.” He laughs, a soft songbird-like chuckle that somewhat eases your tenseness.

You feel so dirty for thinking about him like this. When he can’t tell you it’s okay to be imagining absolutely sinful things you’d do… or let be done when it comes to him. However, you are so hormonal right now, that you don’t have it in yourself to stop.

He was just simply the wrong person, in the wrong place, at coincidentally the right time in your hormonal cycle.

And you feel even worse because there’s years of history behind the two of you. And friends are not meant to think of each other like this, it makes things quickly complicated. And this is not a hallmark film.

“I know.” You sigh out, “it’s not you, H. I’m just… hormonal.”

His first thought was that you were on your period, a look of tender concern flitting across his face.

“Oh, is your period making you feel sick?”

You could laugh at the irony. You are infact neither of the things he thinks. Not bleeding, and not ill.

He has looked after you before when you’ve been in the trenches with your period. He is always so willing to get you anything when you’re not feeling well.

And you can tell by the look on his pretty face he’s about to ask you he can get you anything to help— pain relief, water, snacks or simply a hug.

A gentleman, as always.

But if he asks you if you need anything, you only have one answer and that’s him. You need him, and not in a platonic way. So you interject before he can ask,

“No, quiet the opposite.” You shake your head, pursing your lips.

“But it’s fine,” you amend curtly, “just girl stuff.”

The two of you get consumed by a momentary silence, he was waiting for more information, which you simply were not giving. After a few seconds, he sputters out a sudden laugh.

“You can tell me, if you want, idiot.” He laughs, nudging you with his knee. His very attractive leg being left pressed into yours. “Gross details and personal stuff never usually stop us.”

Your whole body is burning up, overwhelmed. He is so fucking hot, and caring. You want him filling up your goddamn throat.

“No, trust me. This is all left best untold and ignored. I can’t help it, so we’re just ignoring it.” Your tone is certain, and to this he nods. Able to tell that’s as much of an answer he’d be getting for now, so he begrudgingly accepts it.

“Fine, fine, you’re just so stiff. Need t’relax.” He slides his free hand behind your back to pull him into his side.

Tugging you the small distance between you two, your head comes naturally to rest in the crook of his neck. Nose inhaling the woodsy scent of his cologne, smelling like the refreshingly cool breeze on a muggy summer night.

His thumb strokes a delicate back and forth rhythm on the bare skin it’s found between the waistband of your jeans and the hem of your fitted top.

It’s killing you, because he’s so gentle with you. Such a sweetheart really, but you’re breaking out a sweat at the feeling of his fingertips against your skin. You need a cold shower.

You try not to let your eyes wander down to the legs in those fucking jeans.

“S’long as ya alright,” he murmurs into your hair, “is there anything you need from me? ‘Cause if I can do anything for ya, yknow I would.”

Your stomach drops, how are you even supposed to answer that. Your face heats with even more guilt.

Your internal voice drops in her two cents on the question— your cock, she confidently stated. That was what she wanted.

“No, nothing you can do that’s reasonable, H.” You say, too dangerously close to him dragging the truth out of your needy mouth for your liking.

He tilts his head down to look at the profile of your face, curiously prodding further, “How unreasonable are we talking?”

“Ridiculously and foolishly unreasonable.”

“Why?”

“Sh. Don’t make me tell you, because I don’t want to.” You state defiantly, rolling away from his hold, since now you’re talking about it— although vaguely— it’s just making it worse.

Focusing on it is making the need more intense, your eyes feasting unintentionally on his muscled body relaxing on the couch.

He’s got this smirk on his lips. One you want to kiss off.

“You’re blushing, is it that bad?”

You scoff, “Yes, that bad.”

“Okay… so, it’s not your period, and it’s technically fixable— since you just said it’s unreasonable for me to do it… not impossible.” he’s wondering out loud, watching your every move.

Which now you’ve stood up and started pacing, trying to distract yourself from the pulsing between your legs and the begging voice in your head that wants to touch him so badly.

“Stop being nosey! God!” You frustratedly whine out, and he laughs at your sudden anger at not only him, but at seemingly just being a woman.

“Just trying to help, baby, don’t get mad.” He teases, and between his suddenly mocking mouth, your resolve snaps like a fickle twig.

“Fuck, I’m horny. Harry!” You groan out, covering your eyes over with the palms of your hands so you don’t have to see his likely disgusted face at your confession.

But now that you’ve started you can’t stop, “You just… your fucking legs and thighs are just… I don’t know! I’m ovulating and you’re just really sexy, it’s frustrating and I really want to die right now, H.”

In reality, his brows had just shot up with surprise, lips parting in shock. He could not believe you just admitted that.

He glanced down to his legs. He’s just in jeans, it wasn’t like he felt as though they were anything to write home about.

It shocked him that you even… well obviously the two of you are best friends. But it was rare that topics of sex came up, so all the sudden the conversation being about that and also about you is making his head spin.

Yet something comes over him, he doesn’t think as he speaks his next words, “Tha’s not as unreasonable as you made it out to be.”

You snap your hands down from your face, eyes locking onto his— he doesn’t look repulsed or uncomfortable as you had originally expected. He looks inexplicably open to the topic.

“I’ve got somethin’ you need, somethin’ that can fix it, love.” He states, shrugging his shoulders, his voice going almost sultry, “An’ yknow what I said, hm?”

At your silence— because you’re too stunned to even speak— he finishes the sentence for you, “Said I’d do anything for ya.”

Oh, is this quickly snowballing.

“Harry!” You shake your head, it feeling so wrong to be talking about this with him.

He abandons his drink on the small side table beside the couch, standing up and breaching the distance between you.

“Jus’ say the words, and then im yours.” He lowly whispers, and this is about to make you pass out. You’re clenching around nothing in your underwear, and the proposition is so tempting.

“We shouldn’t though. It’s not your responsibility to… satiate me.” You gulp out, nervous, yet body flaming with heat.

“Y/N, best friends help each other out… tha’s all it has to be, jus’ me making y’feel better.” he says, hand coming to run down your upper arm. And the second you started talking about this, his cock has been twitching where it’s confined his jeans.

“You can make all the decisions, all the calls, m’kay?” The statement was reassuring.

You lean into his touch, caving without anymore of a fight, “Okay… alright. Just… tell me if you change your mind. Please?”

His lips curl into a satisfied smile, feeling his hand get taken by yours. It’s much to risky to be fucking around with your best friend on the families patio, so you lead him down the steps into the dark, open backyard.

They have a pier, that’s lit with small solar lights, and that’s the first place you can that is reasonable enough to go. You tug him along the wooden decking it has, feet drumming against it.

Against a tree was too dark, and you at least want to see his cock if you’re getting the opportunity to touch it.

“On the pier, hey? That desperate.” He teases, and you push him with your free hand into one of its big wooden pillars.

“I want your cock down my throat, how’s that for desperate?” You scoff, pulling a laugh of pure shock from his own lips.

“I’m serious, H.” You look at him, stone cold expression. You are so riled up and ready to touch him that you need immediate confirmation this is something he wants.

“Go on, said you wanted it.”

Before you sink down onto your knees, you question him further, “you want this, though?”

A smile spreads over his mouth, “baby, you’re gonna be able to feel just how much i want this when you get down there. I was bricked the second you said you were horny.”

That was all you needed, dropping to the ground on your knees— now with his consent, your filter completely disappeared.

“Fuck me, Harry. I don’t think you understand how sexy you are.” Hands immediately coming up to squeeze the muscle of his thighs.

He hums a noise as he looks down at you on your knees, “Never thought legs would do it for you, but here we are.”

“Only thing i could think about is digging my nails into your thighs…”

You drag your hands back up to where the buckle of his belt laid, grabbing at it and undoing it. Slipping it out of the loops in his pants in a swift movement.

Leaning forward, you lift the hem of his black shirt, pressing your mouth against his happy trail.

You’re a slut for that little teasing patch of hair that dips below his low jeans. It causes you to whine out, a wordless sound of appreciation as you peck kisses over it.

The button and zipper quickly got undone by your nimble hands, and you finally brush over the prominent bulge that’s perked up in his boxers.

A realisation that you’re about to see your best friends dick for the first time kind of hits you, causing you to roll your lips between your teeth.

His suddenly strained voice comes from above you, “fuck, Y/N, don’t get shy with me. Y’can take me out.”

He’s almost ready to beg, even though this is all technically for you. But he didn’t anticipate how sensitive he would be when it’s a special girls hands running over his bulge.

However that’s exactly how it is, he’s already biting his lip as you cup him through his briefs, head tilted backwards with a sudden shared need.

You draw his jeans further down, “patience, im just enjoying you, pretty boy.”

The doting nickname earns a small groan from his lips, paired with the fact you’re now mouthing at his inner thighs. They’re warm and firm, dusted with dark hairs. You suck the most inner and upper part of his thigh into your mouth, causing him to grunt out.

You busy yourself with that particular part of his skin for a moment, rubbing the backs of your hands around the flesh of his ass. Still unfortunately covered by his briefs.

“So fuckin’ good to me, H.” You muttered into his soft skin, dragging your nose over to kiss the fabric covering his hard cock.

It makes him twitch, “letting me do this… and touch you where I want.”

You sound so out of it, replacing your mouth with your hand momentarily so you can go back to kissing his thighs, teeth impulsively barring over them. He shudders at the sensation.

After a bit more teasing, you finally start to pull the waistband of his black calvins down.

When his cock is fully out, you moan. You straight out moan at the sight of it. It’s glistening tip is a flushed red, beading out a sliver of precum for you, and it was safe to say he’s well equipped.

The two of you curse in sync as you hold him in your hand, feeling the weight as you stroke gently.

“Christ, tha’s good.” He curses out, hips stuttering forward slightly. You take a moment to look up at his face.

His cheeks have gone a slight red, and his lips are shiny from his teeth and tongue constantly running over them. Not to mention the way his lidded eyes are gazing down at you.

You hold eye contact as you lean in to lick over his tip in one solid stroke, watching his face twist in pleasure.

It makes your core drip. Seeing his cock, tasting it, watching him react to your touch. It fuels you to take his tip into your mouth, giving a gentle suck.

Your fingers take refugee digging into his thighs, and you are already loosing you mind with him between your lips. Somehow, you’re almost convinced you could come just from sucking on his dick.

Your self control is completely shattered now, you draw back and spit over his length, listening to him groan out as he watches the action.

“Drool on me, darling.” He says, the gentle demand makes you eager to impress him. You liked the idea of him telling you what to do… maybe even forcing you.

Fuck, you are sick and twisted, you scoffed internally at your self. Yet proceeding to gather your saliva and let it dribble down onto him.

“Thank you, thank you…” you murmur against him, and he twitches at your still airy voice. He would kill to know just how wet you were between your legs.

It was such a sight for you though, seeing him start to get slicked up with your own spit. Your mouth reconnected with him, sliding further down, hand coming up to massage his balls.

You’re whining around him now, starting to move in a sort of rhythm over his cock. You can’t help it, you were becoming frantic at him filling your throat.

The vibration of your mouth sends his hand flying into your hair, drawing a cuss from his lips, “fuck, Y/N…”

You get his cock as far as you can into your mouth without gagging— you’ll leave that for a little later— stroking the remainder. There’s something about the way he takes up the space between your lips, the feeling of his thick cock atop your tongue.

You glance up at him, fingertips teasing the inner parts of his thigh. Just as you look up, you give a harsh suck, hollowing out your mouth and lathing your tongue on the underside of him. Feeling the vein that runs along him.

His head almost bangs back against the wooden beam he’s leaning on, you feel the slight stutter of his hips.

A moan reverberated around you, filling your ears pleasingly. You draw back for a breathe, “you taste so good.”

His hand curls in your hair, panting out, “You’re such a needy girl…”

“Like that?” He asks at the whimper that come from you, “like being told that I see how desperate y’becoming?”

You nod immediately, “please…”

At your way of asking for more dirty talk he smiles, “becoming my little slut? Warming my cock with your mouth just because you’re so horny for it.”

When you don’t reply with words, and only a senseless moan, he taps your mouth with his fingers gently.

“Show me, baby.”

You part your lips almost instantly at his command, jutting your wet tongue out, ready to take him back into your mouth.

He guides his cock back between your lips, and that’s about as far as he gets before you have to take over from him again. All he can register is how hot and warm you’re mouth is as it wraps around him again.

You start to bob your head, taking him all the way down your throat with a slight gag. You’re whining without warrant now, all over his spit slicked cock.

It’s paired with his own moans of pleasure and words of praise as you suddenly draw back, flicking over his wet tip with your tongue, teasing it and making him grunt.

Your soul existence quickly slips to being just about his cock and hearing his noises. Being able to look up at him and see the sweat beginning to sheen over his forehead, and the mess of his soft hair.

His eyes are squeezed shut, and he has to forcibly open them every so often to see you. A reality check for himself that down on her knees, is his best friend. Drooling all over his prick with a insatiable need.

“Good fuckin’ girl.” He states as you take him all the way down your throat again.

“Taking me like the slut y’are. Might ‘ave to fuck you like one later, how’s that sound?” His mouth has gone loose now, brain muddled with only thoughts of you in it.

You suck and nod over him, brain rioting with a yes at his question.

“Probably so wet, so warm.” He mutters in half thought, and the idea of him even thinking of you like that makes you clench multiple times in your panties.

You roll you hips against nothing which he is grateful he caught with his half lidded eyes. The look of sheer desperation that crossed your face.

Moving faster, you starting taking his cock at a pace that immediately made his hand coil tighter in your hair.

“Fuck… im gon’ come faster than I’d like if y’keep— shit— doing that.” He moans, and you draw back quickly.

“Need to taste it… please, Harry.” You beg, forcing your throat back down around him once you’d got a breathe.

You gagged around him in full this time, earning his hips bucking against you.

Strings of dirty talk and cusses were flying out of his mouth, like a litany being repeated over and over. He kept praising you.

“That warm mouth…fuck… fucking me so good baby. Want to keep y’down there for hours, like m’personal little cockslut.”

Your nails dug into the backs of his meaty thighs, making you moan around him. Spit was covering your chin as you moved hastily over his hard prick.

“Like that idea?” He asked gruffly, “making you drool all over me like this until I’m empty, an’ y’ve come in y’panties to the point you’re dripping.”

You feverishly bob your head, sucking hard against him. If his bucking hips and loose mouth are any indicator, he’s getting close.

A few more minutes of your mouth, and he’s swearing, “im gonna come, dove— fuck— where do y’want it?”

Trying not to stop to long, looking up at his flushed face and blown out eyes, you lowly plead, “on my tongue, please…”

“Good slut, good fucking girl!” He slurs out.

You draw back to his tip, eager to taste him properly. You spit messily over his pulsing red head, kitten licking over it while your hand fucks the rest of his length at a fast pace.

It has him a wreck, and before he know it, he’s moaning out so loud he’s almost scared he woke someone in the house up.

“Fuck! I’m going to come, baby, im gonna come!”

You watch in completely infatuation as his eyes screw shut and his mouth drops into a gasp for air. You feel his hips stutter, and his cock pulse and twitch as it releases onto your awaiting tongue.

He tastes so good. You feel ashamed for even liking it that much, but as it spurts out his tip and drips onto your lower lip, your insane over it.

You rub it in with his tip, coating it over your tongue, and he pants as he opens his eyes to watch you.

It’s a sight etched into his mind forevermore. The fact his come is painted all over your tongue right now.

“Swallow it, pretty girl, let me watch.” He exhaustedly instructs you, voice raspy and deep in his post orgasm haze.

You do as told, and realising some has spilt even onto the corner of his thigh now that you’ve let him go.

Not letting it go to waste, you clean it off with a lick of your still eager mouth. Gently kissing over the spot as well.

“Taste so good, H.” You whisper against him, moving over to kiss his tip a final time.

“Thank you, again. For letting me do that…” You almost feel more satisfied than you would have if you had gotten to come as well.

“Made me feel amazing, baby.”

Or so you thought, because once he raised the point again… “If you want, since I can only imagine how desperate your little cunt is, I can return the favour somehow?”

And it was impossible to say no when he looked like that, boxers still half down his beautiful legs and face flushed that sexy shade of red.

You were in for a night, that was for sure. So much for an early morning.

———

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #he’s so #fuck me I need him so bad #anyways #hope you enjoyed #ily #last oneshot of 2023

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blossomwritesthings · 1 year

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𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝? 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

pairing: minho x fem!reader (afab)

genre: veterinarian!minho (this includes a few of the skz members working in his clinic). client!reader. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. strangers to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. minho is reader's vet. reader's childhood cat suddenly gets diagnosed with cancer, and she has to make a big decision about what to do. this fanfic includes heavy topics like: pet euthanasia, extreme loss/grief, depression, the problems with pet healthcare, and more. there will be some humor/fluff placed throughout, and also smut somewhere along the way. :))

word count: 7.1k

summary: dr. lee minho is known throughout your area as the city's hottest veterinarian, and he's also the very man that's been taking good care of your two cats for the past three years. but one day, you're thrown down a dark path of heartache when the cat that you've grown up with - nyx - is diagnosed with an acute form of bone cancer. burdened with the hardest decision of your entire life, you come at a crossroads of what to do. and throughout it all, minho is the single most person who continually stays by your side.

a/n: i decided to split this fic up into like, 3-4 separate chapters, since i felt like having 20.k+ words for a single 'long oneshot' was kindaa excessive lmao 😂 anyways, i'm excited for the future of this little series and what it's gonna look like exploring the relationship between minho and y/n~ 😉 also, for anyone that noticed, YES- i changed my entire tumblr theme after like, 4 months of having it be rainbow haha, so you might not recognize me on your dash with my new look. but yeah, this is the 'new me' for the next few months... i was feeling super inspired to do a muted levanter theme, since it's one of my fav albums/songs from skz haha so here we are!! ☺️

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The clinic was incredibly busy as you stepped through the front doors. Looking around the medium-sized waiting room, you noticed how almost every single seat was taken up by a patient. Because apparently, the hot place to be on a Thursday morning was Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic.

You clutched on a little tighter to the carrier at your side, which held your cat Nyx just inside the bassinet. She was an American Shorthair, with a coat as black as midnight and big, ocean-blue eyes. Your parents had gifted you Nyx as a surprise for your sixth birthday, since you had been begging them for a cat all year long. And instantly, the two of you were inseparable. Nyx had been with you for almost every stage of your life - including grade/middle school, high school, and all of university. She was so incredibly affectionate towards everyone, but especially you. She loved curling up alongside you after you’d spent a long, hard day at work and would just cuddle into your skin for hours.

Nyx was your stability in everything - she was one of your only friends, even when you were surrounded by other adults your same age at work. And at the ripe age of twenty-four, you couldn’t imagine what your life would be like if she ever left your side.

But, you weren’t naive, or stupid.

And you knew that at some point, Nyx would have to move on from your world and onto a better, and brighter future.

Which is why you decided to adopt a female Bengal cat after you graduated from university. Taffy had a brilliant orange-and-brown coat with light green eyes. And because she was so much younger than Nyx, she had a lot more energy. But even still, the two cats got along quite well, despite their huge age gap. Taffy was the troublemaker out of the two and liked to get into mischief with all kinds of things.

You took great pride in both of them and the relationship that you had with your two kitties, which is why you regularly took them to the local veterinarian clinic for routine checkups. Usually, you visited every six months, just to make sure that Taffy and Nyx were in perfect health.

And it’s not like you were complaining about the visits to Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic. It was a beautiful and spacious place, with a friendly bunch of staff and an even better doctor.

Doctor Lee Minho had been the continual talk of the town since he had moved into the area three years before, and soon after he set up his practice - which was just a short walk from your quaint apartment - you started going to him for your cat’s regular check-ups. Dr. Lee was incredibly professional with all of his clients, and he had a true knack for animals… but especially, cats. That’s what he prided himself on - knowing the ins and outs of the feisty little beings... since he had three of his own. Some even said that he was a cat himself since he had similar mannerisms to the felines.

It also helped that he was insanely handsome.

Like, drop-dead gorgeous.

You weren’t a fool - you noticed how, every time you visited the clinic, most of the clients were women. And almost every time that you sat in the waiting room, you’d overhear women talking amongst themselves… about how they had dressed up for the occasion, and how Dr. Lee was way too cute for his good.

For the most part, all of the comments passed over your head.

After all, he was just a veterinarian. He wasn’t anything special…

He just took amazing care of the animals that visited his clinic.

And he seemed to adore your two cats.

And-

Perhaps he was kind of, sort of, attractive.

If a woman liked the silent, brooding, brown-haired types of guys- then yeah, he was fucking really hot.

But, you always tried to push those thoughts out of your mind each time they started to bubble up to the forefront of your mind. You didn’t want to ruin the professional doctor-client relationship that the two of you had been cultivating for over three years. He was an amazing veterinarian with a lot of skill and expertise, and you had a feeling that you taking advantage of your closeness with him, by forcing yourself onto him, would just turn him away.

After all, he was always professional and polite with you. Even if he seemed to give you a lot of smiles and laughs each time you had an appointment at the clinic. And even if he seemed overly affectionate with Nyx and Taffy. He was just doing his job, as that’s what was to be expected from a doctor like him.

And besides, a guy like him would never go for you. For starters, you had just recently found out that he was five years older than you, landing him at the mature age of twenty-nine. And older guys of that many years never went for you - never stooped that low. Plus, he was a successful doctor and a businessman with his clinic. Whereas you were a struggling woman who was fighting to make ends meet at her low-ranking corporate job. You sat in a small cubicle all day, typing away at a bright computer screen, and Dr. Lee sat in front of patients and animals, actually making a difference in others’ lives.

There was also the fact that you were borderline poor- since your job barely paid anything compared to the way that the economy was so expensive. You struggled to pay your bills monthly and lived from paycheck to paycheck. Meanwhile, Dr. Lee rolled up to the clinic in his dark-blue sports car and was always donned in all different kinds of designer dress shirts and slacks.

So, yeah, he’d never fall for you. Not in a million years.

“Y/N! Good to see you again!” You heard a bright voice call out to you, bringing you out of your daydreams of expensive cars and fancy clothes.

Your eyes flitted up to the person sitting behind the front check-in desk of the clinic. Chan, one of the two receptionists of the place, was looking up at you with a soft smile adorning his face.

“Oh- hi, Chan… I’m here for Nyx’s check-up.” You mimicked his smile, motioning with a tilt of your head to the carrier where Nyx was situated in.

You were on a first-name basis with the entire staff line of the clinic, as you had been visiting it for so many years. Everyone at the clinic was extremely nice, and all of the staff were Dr. Lee’s friends. Soon after you first visited the clinic, he told you about the story of how he had recruited some of his best friends to open the shop with him, and how the rest was history. Even still, you called everyone by their first name except for Dr. Lee - since you decided to keep it professional with him and always address him by his official title well into the beginning of your appointments at the clinic.

“Sure thing,” Chan began, tearing his gaze away from you and typing away at his computer. “I see here that Jisung jotted down your concerns for this visit’s file. Has anything changed since you called in a month ago?”

You moved your focus onto the carrier at your side, where you saw Nyx resting peacefully just inside it. She had long since gotten used to the clinic and was normally very calm whenever you visited the place. “Yeah, she’s been sleepier than usual, and like- she doesn’t want to eat the food that I’ve been giving her, even though I’ve changed the brand two times already.”

Chan’s eyes darted up to you, studying your face silently before they flitted over to the carrier that you had placed atop the counter at your side. “Okay, I’ll add all of that to the notes so that the doctor can take a look,” you noticed how his lips were pressed together in a grim line- like he didn’t like what you had just told him. “You can take a seat, and Yongbok will call you back when they’re ready for you guys.”

“Thanks, Chan,” you said, offering him a tiny, weak smile before you headed off to find one of the only available seats left in the waiting room. As soon as you got situated, you gingerly took Nyx out of her crate. She was warm and downy in your hands and purred quietly at the feel of you pressing her furry body against your chest. “It’s gonna be okay, girl, you’ll be alright…” You whispered to her, mouth nuzzling into her silky coat as you placed a gentle kiss against her head.

After you placed Nyx back in her crate, you spent the waiting time studying the people around you. Once again, it was mainly women’s faces that your eyes met as you scanned over the entire room. And there were all different types of pets everywhere, from dogs to cats to birds.

“Oh, and apparently, Jungmi’s friend saw him out on the streets late at night last week… like, all alone and stuff.” You heard the woman say beside you. She was sitting close to another woman, and their heads were bent at an angle as they gossiped together. “Some girl came out of this one cafe and was hanging all over him, but it didn't seem like he knew her that well.”

The other woman snorted lowly, “Well that bitch doesn’t matter, because I’m going to be sure to seduce him this time around. I mean, c’mon- who can resist this shirt?” At her insinuation, you realized that they were talking about Dr. Lee.

Even still, you felt the urge to peek over to your side and look at her attire, and when you did, you swallowed down the dryness in your throat. Because holy fuck- she looked like she was about to go to the club. Her shirt had a scoop neckline and was so low, more than half of her tits were hanging out of the loose fabric. It was tight and stretched over her bosom in an alluring kind of way, leaving little to the imagination.

Meanwhile, you were dressed in one of your old, baggy hoodies and a pair of loose-fitting denim jeans. Even though it was the beginning of spring, it was still quite chilly out early in the morning. And besides, you weren’t planning on going anywhere else after you visited the clinic, since you had taken the rest of the day off from work, so there was no use in dressing up. Not like you had any nice, sexy clothes like that to begin with, though.

In all actuality, you really couldn’t afford to take a day off of work. But, you felt like it was needed after the long week that you had had. After the long year you had had.

Suddenly feeling self-conscious while you sat next to Aphrodite herself, your fingers scrambled to yank down the arms of your hoodie as best as you could, trying to let the fabric swallow you up in your seat.

Just then, your name was called over the hustle and bustle of the waiting room, and you peered up to see a smiling Yongbok standing in the doorway that lead to the rest of the clinic - where the examining rooms were.

In a hurry, you scrambled to pick up your tote bag and hoisted Nyx in her carrier with one arm, following right behind the young vet tech as he lead you through the back rooms of the clinic. The hallway was buzzing with movement, as the other Tech’s, Seungmin and Hyunjin, helped vet assistant Changbin calm down a barking German Shepherd so that they could usher him onto a weighing station that was positioned in a corner of the hallway. Dr. Lee was nowhere to be found… yet.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Yongbok started, as he motioned to an examining room just off to the right side for you to walk in. You took a seat in the chair that was positioned next to the desk - where the doctor always sat. “Since Hyunjin is almost always the one who first greets you.” The younger man with light blonde hair and big, expressive eyes sighed in an exaggerated kind of way, which forced a quiet giggle out of you.

“He’s a good tech though… Taffy especially likes him, I think.” You started, your mind already trailing off to what your younger cat might be doing while being left home alone in your apartment. No doubt tearing into the bag of chips that you had accidentally left atop the kitchen counter.

“Mhm- how is she, by the way? I feel like you haven’t brought her in in a while,” Yongbok said, as he slipped on a pair of blue latex gloves. You dragged your eyes away from his form and instead concentrated on unzipping the carrier in your arms, slowly drawing out a lethargic Nyx.

“Taffy is good, just being her usual rambunctious self,” you laughed softly, shaking your head as the affection for your other cat took over your thoughts. “She’s definitely very different from my Nyx here, that’s for sure…”

Yongok wheeled his chair over to you then, gently taking your old cat from your hands and hoisting her up onto the examination table that was nearby. “I saw in the files that she’s been having problems with eating?” He started, voice growing serious as he began his study of your cat.

You nodded slowly, swallowing over the nervous lump that had begun to form in your throat as soon as he placed Nyx on the paper-lined table. You felt your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, and you watched in silence as Yongbok turned Nyx around to thoroughly examine her. “Yeah, and she hasn’t been wanting to play with Taffy either, even though she used to love to.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“About… four months now?”

Yongbok turned to you then, leveling you with a deep frown, “And you’re only bringing her in now?” His tone wasn’t accusatory, but was more on the perplexed side of things, as all of the staff at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic knew how much you loved your cats and how you adored taking care of them.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, hating the way that he seemed to question why you hadn’t taken care of Nyx’s symptoms earlier. “I-I didn’t have the money for this appointment until just recently, so that’s why I'm only bringing her in now.”

Your gaze snagged on Yongbok’s face, and the way that it instantly melted at your confession... brows furrowing and mouth pressing into a velvety line. The entire clinic must’ve known about your financial situation by now - about how you could barely afford food for yourself, let alone the bills from the clinic - since more oftentimes than not, you’d ask for a grace period from paying for the visits.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you’re in the wrong here,” he began, but his slight frown only seemed to deepen as he spoke the words, “It’s just that- these symptoms shouldn’t be ignored for that long.”

At that, your heart started beating frantically inside your chest. Your focus landed on Nyx, who was now resting atop the table, with her eyes closed peacefully. “W-What? What do you mean by that? Is something wrong-”

Yongbok reached over then, giving your shoulder a delicate pat. “I can’t confirm anything myself, but I’m going to take Nyx back to the X-Ray rooms to examine her better. Then, I’ll give the data to Dr. Lee and he can examine the diagnosis.” He gingerly scooped up Nyx into his arms, pressing her against his chest.

“O-Okay, but-” You began, but were soon cut off by the way that Yongbok gave you a slight, reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’m sure Nyx is just fine.” Is the last thing he said, before he was quickly filing out of the room with your cat in his hold, leaving you all alone.

And as soon as he shut the door closed, you were a nervous wreck. Your knees bounced up and down, hands turning clammy and breath falling out in shaky gasps as your mind raced a mile a minute with countless thoughts.

Would Nyx be okay?

Was she sick?

What was so wrong with her?

The wait time to see the doctor usually wasn’t that long, but this time - this time, it felt different.

It felt like each minute stretched out before you in an endless cycle, sending you down a deep and deeper spiral of anguish as you tried to wrack your brain around the entire situation.

When finally, there was a gentle knock on the door.

You had been holding your head in either of your hands, but upon hearing footsteps against the linoleum floors, you peered up to see Dr. Lee closing the door behind him. He was dressed in his usual garb - dress slacks, a simple white button-down, and his white doctor's coat.

Dr. Lee was silent, as he wheeled his chair over to you. And only then did you notice that Nyx was missing. That he wasn’t carrying her in his arms- like he usually did when he brought her back from the closed examination room.

And you knew the moment that he sat down, that something was wrong.

Because usually, when his eyes caught yours as he walked through the examining room’s door, his entire face would light up with one of those brilliant smiles that women gushed over. Usually, he’d be the first one to crack a stupid joke - whether it was something lame about the weather outside, or about the crazy animal that he just had an encounter with before seeing you.

But this time?

No, this time it was very different.

His proud shoulders were slumped low, cheekbones dark with shadows, and plump, red lips pressed together in a firm line.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw once,

twice,

three times.

Then, and only then, did his eyes meet yours.

And they said all you needed to know.

Just by the way that his dark, chestnut-brown pupils danced with a myriad of emotions; apprehension, fear, compassion, but most of all… sadness.

“What is it?”

The words flowed from your lips before you even knew what you were asking, and almost immediately, you were sitting up a little straighter in your chair.

Spine going rigid, fists growing tight at your sides.

Something swam, cool and deep, inside of you.

Chilling you to the bone, with tense unease.

In the depths of your mind, you felt the pinprick of ominous heartache prodding at the fleshy part of your soul.

The part that was weak and emotional and so very tender all of the time.

“I’m so sorry.”

Was the first thing Dr. Lee said.

You already felt the tears flowing, unbidden and unchecked, warming your suddenly freezing cheeks, at the sound of ‘sorry’ leaving his mouth. Because he had never said such a thing to you before. And you never, ever, wanted to hear it come from him again.

“What’s wrong?” You prodded again, limbs growing a little shaky in your anxiety. Breath hitching in your chest agonizingly, you could physically feel your heart pushing against your ribs.

Aching,

Burning,

Already seeping with hurt, even though you didn’t quite know what was wrong just yet.

Dr. Lee ran a rough hand up and down his face, sighing into his palm, shaking his head once. Then, his fingers were running through his black locks, tugging at the roots just a tiny bit.

Almost like, this crushed him just as much as it was about to pain you.

“It’s about Nyx.”

Swallowing over the huge lump forming in your throat proved very difficult at that moment, but somehow - by some miracle - you did it.

Your tongue felt heavy inside of your mouth- like it was made of hard metal.

For a few beats, you couldn’t manage to form the right words, but when you did, you already felt the stability seeping out of you. Like you were a hot air balloon that had been poked with a sharp needle, with the scalding air and sanity flooding from you in a single breath.

“I’m sorry, Miss. Y/N, I-”

“Just fucking say it, Dr. Lee!” You suddenly exclaimed, voice straining from your quiet sobs. The fat tears rolled down either of your cheeks, leaving angry wet trails in their wake.

He was silent after that, gaze running up and down the length of you slowly. Like you were one of his animals that he assessed daily - like he was testing out your strength and resolve.

Then, his eyes snapped back up to meet yours, and they melted into two puddles of grief.

“It seems as though Nyx is suffering from an acute form of bone cancer.”

And just like, your heart completely stopped.

Each breath you took felt garbled and all wrong.

Your shaky legs and arms wobbled all around you.

The floor crumbled underneath your feet,

Breaking, cracking, shattering irrevocably.

And in that moment, you wished for nothing more but for it to open up completely, and swallow you whole.

Please,

Oh, fuck, please-

Just swallow me already.

Because anything,

Anything,

Would be better than this newfound hell.

“No- no, you’re lying.” You said in a low, gravelly voice. You were clutching onto the arms of your chair, holding on for dear life. Like if you squeezed hard enough, you would be able to wake up and all of this would just fade away into a bad dream.

“Miss. Y/N, I’m so sorry but-” Dr. Lee started in a calm tone, but his face read everything but calm - as his brows wrinkled with concern and his brown eyes were alight with a certain kind of sadness.

“This is a bad dream, it has to be a bad dream,” you cut him off, violently shaking your head from side to side in your disbelief. If you just pinched yourself, maybe then you’d wake up from such a hell. So that’s exactly what you did.

Grabbing one of your arms, you frantically pinched at the skin there.

Again,

And again,

And again.

The tears blurred your vision so much that it was hard to see what was in front of you - hard to notice the angry red mark that started to bloom out across your flesh at your abuse.

Just then, two warm hands took hold of either of yours, fingers sliding between fingers, calloused palms squeezing your own.

The dark-haired figure was kneeling in front of you then, still holding onto your hands. Your heart felt like it was breaking over and over just beneath your ribcage. With each breath that you took, a new piece of it shattered off to swim in the blood flowing through your veins.

“Those symptoms that Nyx has been having are all signs of an acute form of bone cancer, Miss. Y/N. And, they will get worse,” the man said, his low, familiar voice running across your ears and nudging at a tender, warm spot deep inside of you.

“B-But she’ll get better, right? You can heal her, right, doctor?” You asked, throat straining from all of the tears. Through your hazy vision, you clutched a little harder at his hands.

There was a pause of silence on his end after that, which only made you feel worse.

When he finally spoke again, it felt like your world merely crumbled further and further. “Yongbok told me about your… situation, and why you didn’t bring her in earlier. But, because of the wait time, the cancer has developed into an acute case. The only options for helping her at this stage are- amputation and chemotherapy.”

It felt like someone took a bucket of ice-cold water and doused your entire form as soon as his words registered in your mind.

Because if you hadn’t waited so long to get it checked out,

If you hadn’t put it off because you didn’t have the money,

If you didn’t have such a low-paying, shitty job,

Then Nyx never would’ve gotten the cancer in the first place.

Instinctually, you ripped your hands out of Dr. Lee’s grasp. It was the first time you had ever had physical contact with him - and the feeling left you feeling both sick to your stomach and also sent anxious butterflies to erupt throughout your system.

“Oh fuck- it’s my fault,” you said in an incredulous tone, fingers digging into your scalp and tearing at your roots there. “If I hadn’t waited so long, she never would’ve gotten this and she wouldn’t be-”

You felt a heavy hand land atop one of your shoulders, nimble fingers pressing into your skin just slightly. Enough to help ground you back to reality. “I know it’s difficult right now, but I promise it’s going to be okay. You just have to take a few deep breaths and-”

“Where is she?” You asked in a low voice, having the sudden urge to hold your baby in your arms. Maybe, if she just felt you, she’d be healed… “Where is my Nyx, Dr. Lee?”

But you didn’t even wait for him to reply, as you tore away from his hold and hurried to the door, grabbing Nyx’s carrier on the way out. Faintly, you registered Dr. Lee calling out to you from behind, but you paid no mind to it and instead ran through the hallway just outside of the examination room.

“Nyx!” You called out, tone turning desperate. You raced down the hallway, sneakers hitting the concrete at your feet. “Nyx!” The tears clouded your vision, so it was hard to see where you going. But even still, you glimpsed Hyunjin coming out from a room in the back of the clinic, with a black mass of fur laying in his arms.

You cried out in relief at the sight of her, and in an instant, you were running forward and scooping her up and into your grasp. Pressing your face into her warm body, you cuddled her close.

“Y/N-” Hyunjin began, sympathy heavy in his tone. You felt his eyes travel across your face as you looked down at your sickly cat, with fat tears falling down your cheeks and a rapidly-beating heart.

“Let’s go home, my sweet girl…” You whispered so that only Nyx could hear you. And you couldn’t help but notice how light she felt in your arms - she hadn’t had much of an appetite in the last few months, and it pained you so much to know that you hadn’t realized it until it was too late.

Then you were turning away from Hyunjin, not even giving him any attention, as you rushed through the hallway and pressed onwards to the front desk area. Faintly, you could hear people calling out your name from somewhere in the back of the clinic.

But you couldn’t concentrate on any of that. All you could think of was your beautiful cat, who was peacefully sleeping in your arms. “Just a little bit longer, Nyx, we’re almost home…”

The rest of the week passed by in a blur of heartache and tears, as you battled with yourself and your mind to try and come to terms with what was happening.

With what you were going to lose.

It was hard to focus on anything else besides the impending doom that seemed to be right on your doorstep. You were slacking off at your work, which caused your boss to ream you out the next Monday morning. But you couldn’t help it - every time you tried to think about anything else besides Nyx, and losing her, the stormy feelings just came back tenfold.

You had found yourself holed up in your office’s bathroom stalls on more than one occasion already, and by the time it hit a week since you had visited the clinic, it felt like all of the tears had been completely drained from your body.

Every time you looked at her, you wanted to cry. You wanted to, but your body just wouldn't let you. So instead, you took to staying up late into the night and researching remedies to alleviate the pain of cancer - because truly, you hadn’t gotten a solid five hours of sleep since the diagnosis.

After two weeks, you had tried all of the solutions that you could find online - that ranged from implementing natural, whole foods into Nyx’s diet to rubbing lavender oil all over her limbs to try and soothe the pain from standing. Seeing her slowly start to deteriorate in front of your very eyes was possibly the worst part about it all - and how she’d whine and cry while walking around the house. Even Taffy could sense that something was wrong when her friend no longer had the energy to play with her anymore.

Throughout all of it, you avoided the phone calls. And they could be from only one ID - since you didn’t have any friends or family members who cared enough about you to call three times a day. Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic called you without fail, and they were adamant about getting in contact. No doubt Chan was on the other line the whole time, trying to talk some sense into you.

But you just couldn’t do it - couldn’t bring yourself to walk through those doors and face the dark road ahead that most-assuredly lead to death. Because you had already extensively researched the therapy for treating Nyx’s kind of cancer, and it was looking quite bleak. The procedures were so fucking expensive, it baffled you how anyone in their right mind could be able to afford such things.

Everything changed though, when on one Saturday night, you arrived home late from running errands and found Nyx sprawled out on your living room’s small, rickety couch. You scurried over to her side and shook her awake. But she wouldn’t open her eyes. And it seemed like she was hardly breathing. You called out to her again and again, startling Taffy of your presence.

When finally, Nyx awoke. After much pleading and crying, she opened her eyes lazily and stretched.

And so it was decided right then and there, that you’d go into the clinic that night.

You couldn’t afford to put it off any longer, and frankly, you had the feeling that Nyx couldn’t either. It was getting close to eight o’clock in the evening, and the clinic closed its doors for the weekend right at eight, so you made quick haste out of your dingy hell-hole-of-an-apartment.

When you arrived at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic, the entire place was dark. You peeked through the windows and noticed the empty waiting room. “No, no- no…” You muttered to yourself, checking the time on your phone and reading that it was a little past eight.

You quickly looked around the street, noticing how most of the shops were already closed up for the weekend. Feeling the panic rising inside of you, you began to furiously knock on the glass door of the clinic. If someone was back there, maybe you could get ahold of Dr. Lee and-

“Miss. Y/N?” You heard a friendly, faint voice say from somewhere to your side. Turning around to the sound of it, you came face-to-face with Dr. Lee himself. He had his doctor’s coat off and was dressed in his usual work clothes of slacks and a dress shirt. “What are you-”

You pressed your hands against your chest, trying to calm your heart that was painfully beating against your ribcage. “Dr. Lee- please, it’s… it’s Nyx.”

His brown eyes flashed across the length of your form, the fading sunset coloring his skin in an orange and pink kind of glow. “Come inside, it’s too cold out to be standing around like this.” He said, already moving to unlock the front door of the clinic. After all, it was early spring and the nights tended to grow on the cooler side of things once the sun dipped below the horizon.

“Okay, thanks,” you whispered, following behind him as the two of you shifted through the clinic. Dr. Lee made his way over to a cluster of chairs in the corner of the waiting room.

“Please, sit.” He pointed to the nearest chair and waited for you to get situated before taking the seat just beside you. “So, tell me what’s going on.”

And suddenly, you realized the gravity of the situation. You realized that it was just the two of you - Dr. Lee and you - sitting inside the clinic, alone. There weren’t any other clients around, there wasn’t Chan or Jeongin, or Yongbok. And all at once, it felt rather… intimate.

You squirmed in your seat, your shaking hands beginning to play with the worn hemline of your oversized hoodie. Taking a deep breath, you gathered up all of your courage and leveled your gaze on the nearby front desk that was placed in the center of the large waiting room. “Well, I-I got home today from running some errands, and I found Nyx lying on my couch. But it didn’t seem like she was napping like she normally does… and she, she wouldn’t wake up. I kept trying and trying and-” Your words came out all rushed and garbled, as the tears began to crest over your eyes and you felt your cheeks heating with the flush of emotion.

“Hey- hey, it’s okay… don’t push yourself, yeah?” Dr. Lee’s smooth voice did something to the broken part inside of you - caused something to stir and yet settle at the same time. “That must’ve been a very scary experience for you, so it’s understandable that you would be shaken up about it.”

And just like that, the guilt piled on even higher.

Because Dr. Lee had always been incredibly nice to you and your cats. He had always been there for you guys, through the ups and downs of life, and you felt so horrible for ignoring the clinic’s calls. Because you knew that the team at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic only wanted the very best for you and your cats… and especially, Dr. Lee.

“I’m so sorry for ignoring the clinic’s calls,” you suddenly blurted out, feeling the blush rise and pool in your ears at the feeling of Dr. Lee’s gaze landing on you - assessing your nervous state. Your thumbs continued to fiddle with the fabric at your waist, pulling and pulling. “I-I just didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to face the issue. But, I now realize how stupid that was- how stupid I’ve been about this whole thing-”

“Don’t ever say that again, Y/N. You’re not stupid, and Nyx having cancer isn’t your fault. This was something that was inevitable and nothing you could do was going to stop it.” Dr. Lee cut through your words. You tried to comprehend what he was saying, but instead, your brain was only repeating the same phrase over and over again.

Y/N,

Y/N-

Y/N.

He had used your name, without putting ‘miss’ before it. He had never done such a thing in the past. He had always kept things professional and addressed you by your proper title - just like you had done for him.

But all at once, you realized that perhaps you didn’t mind it at all. And perhaps, his dropping the honorifics wasn’t so bad.

“Still, I’m sorry for not answering the calls,” you said, shaking your head slowly in defeat. You were desperately trying to battle the furious blush that was slinking up your neck at the way that he had said your name. It sounded so perfect and beautiful on his tongue, like-

“I was the one making all of those calls, and I can assure you that I didn’t take your silence to heart. I understand what you’re going through right now because I’ve experienced something similar in the past with one of my passed cats.”

At that, your eyes tore away from the front desk and landed on Dr. Lee. Your gazes locked, and inside his chestnut-brown eyes, you found so many different emotions there… compassion and gentleness. There was a certain kind of faded light there, as you stared at him.

“I… I didn’t know. I just assumed that it was Chan or Jisung…”

Dr. Lee shrugged his proud shoulders nonchalantly, like him calling you three times a day to try and work out a treatment plan for Nyx wasn’t that big of a deal.

When in actuality,

No one in your entire life had ever tried so frantically to get ahold of you.

And the fact that it was him- behind the phone, waiting for you to pick up, hearing your voicemail click on every time the dial failed… just made you feel even worse.

“But that’s all in the past now, so don’t worry about it anymore,” Dr. Lee began, waving a hand in the air to seemingly try and clear your thoughts away. You watched in silence, then, as his hand slid away from his lap and hovered over yours. In a single beat, his fingers were threading through yours, palm against palm. And his hand was so incredibly warm and familiar. “Now, let’s instead focus on Nyx’s treatment, yeah? The sooner we can give her the help she needs, the better.”

For a few seconds, the thoughts of your dying childhood best friend had vanished from your mind and were instead replaced with the feeling of Dr. Lee’s hand holding yours and the way that his tongue formed your name, and the way he smelled - sitting so close to you - of warm chamomile and sweet cookies.

Immediately, at the mention of Nyx, you felt the tears prick at the corners of your eyes once more. “I-I don’t have the money.”

Silence filled the space around the two of you after that, and you felt Dr. Lee’s gaze studying your form, as you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “You mean for her treatment?”

“Y-Yeah… I, I don’t make that much. I can barely afford her and Taffy’s regular bills as it is. But, having to pay for the cancer treatment on top of everything else? I-I just don’t think I can manage that.”

You felt Dr. Lee shift in his seat beside you, making your eyes spring open as you watched the pained expression cast over his entire face. It darkened his cheekbones, shooting a look of pity through his eyes.

“The treatment is really expensive, I’m afraid.”

The hiccups started then, as the tears traced down your cheeks faster. Your entire body shook with the cries, “This is why I didn’t want to come here again… I didn’t want to hear the news that nothing else could be done except- except that.”

It was like the fucking jumbo-sized elephant in the room…

The fact that- the only other solution to Nyx’s cancer would be to put her down.

To euthanize her.

Gone, forever.

Just like that.

And even though you weren’t naïve enough to think that your cat would live forever, saying goodbye to her in such a way just felt downright… cruel, after everything that the two of you had been through together. But... what other choice did you have? It's not like anyone else was going to pay for the expensive treatment, and your insurance sure as hell didn't cover pet fees. And on top of all that, you couldn't expect Dr. Lee to drop his prices exponentially just for your specific case. That'd just be downright cruel to his other customers that paid the exact amount.

“I’m afraid you’re right,” Dr. Lee’s words cut through your stormy thoughts. A sharp pain coursed through your broken heart, as you were forced to come to terms with the problem at hand. “If you can’t afford the treatment, then the only other alternative is… euthanasia.”

You found yourself clutching onto his hand desperately, squeezing his fingers to death between yours, as you peered up at him through glassy eyes. “P-Please… just… just tell me you’ll do it. Because I-I don’t think I can handle it if-” Your voice seized in your chest at the thought of some stranger doing such a thing to your precious Nyx. It was already going to be extremely hard for you, but the thought of some other vet doing it just ripped your heart in two even more.

“We offer ethical euthanasia here, so, of course, I’ll do it,” Dr. Lee clutched a little harder on your hand, and the way that his warm, slender digits felt against yours did something to calm a rattling part inside of you. “Do you feel my hand? It is there, Y/N. And it will continue to be there throughout this entire process.”

The breath caught in your throat, forming a large lump there, as your eyes widened his way. Because there it was again, him calling you by your first name… with no ‘miss’ in front of it.

“T-Thank you… so much. I seriously don’t know what I’d do right now if it wasn’t for you and this wonderful clinic and all of the amazing staff here…” Your voice trailed off, as you felt the warmth of a flush creeping up into your cheeks.

“Yeah, well, that’s what we’re here for… to give as much support as we can to our clients.” Dr. Lee’s tone came out soft and quiet, it ghosted over the shell of your ear like an angel’s sweet whisper.

“I like it.”

You heard Dr. Lee take in a sharp breath at your disjointed words, but before he could ask the meaning behind them, you were talking again.

“You calling me by my first name, I mean… I like it, a lot, Dr. Lee.” Your eyes found him in the dim lighting of the room, and for a split second, you could’ve sworn that you saw… something flash deep in those chestnut-brown pupils.

But then all at once, it vanished, and he was giving you an easy smile, pearly white teeth on display. And pink, rosebud lips tugging up- wait, why were you thinking about his mouth?

“Me too,” he said in that delicate way of his, just as he squeezed your palm once more, “I really like it… Y/N.”

To be continued...

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©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

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sparklyslug · 6 months

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THE MONSTER-HUNTING SHOP AROUND THE CORNER: FIC PLAYLIST

(Listen on Spotify)

@steddiebang fic by @sparklyslug With illustrations by @ahhrenata & @boiiko

Posting starts December 29!

Music for 1998, Chicago in the fall, something special waiting for you in your inbox, unexpected reappearances, untraceable IP addresses, a mystery man who knows your heart even if he doesn’t know your name, and knifing up an extra-dimensional monster or two.

SOMEWHAT THEMATICALLY-RELATED EXCERPT BELOW!

Steve is alphabetizing the discount records pile. It’s Thursday, and Steve is alphabetizing the discount records pile, and Lilith has her Angry Piano Lady record of the day at a suitably loud wail. Steve would never say this to her, because any such confession would have her reeling back and clutching her four (or five, depending on the day) rosaries to her chest in horror, but: he fucking loves her Angry Piano Lady days.

Somedays, especially on grimly gloomy Thursdays, especially when he’s alphabetizing the discount records, especially when Dustin has been weird and squirrely– somedays Steve suspects he is, at heart, an Angry Piano Lady.

“Permission to come aboard?” a now familiar-for-all-its-strangeness voice comes from behind him. He turns to see Eddie, leaning against the banister of the four-step stairs that connect the secondhand section to the new music section. Lilith is leaning out over the counter, almost fully horizontal in her attempts to get a look at Eddie. Which is more interest than he thought her shriveled and cynical teenaged heart could manage in anything, but–it was a long time ago, sure, but he remembers the effect Eddie Munson could have on a shriveled, cynical teen heart.

He wonders for a second if the effect would be lessened if she could see Eddie as he was then. Not so suave and in his all-black business ghoul getup, dark curls carefully maintained and pushed back off his forehead. The gleam of sunglasses tucked into his collar, dragging the fabric of his black t-shirt down, exposing collarbone and what might be a tendril of tattoo ink.

Steve personally finds this glossy, reserved, polished version of the kid he used to know a hell of a fucking turnoff, but. Maybe it works for angry record store goth chicks. He wouldn’t know.

“Granted,” Steve says finally.

“Oh,” Eddie grins, faking a little shudder at Steve’s tone. “Maybe I won’t. Might be a little too chilly for me up there.”

“Don’t come up, then,” Steve turns back to his records.

He hears the squeak of the top step, and Eddie’s voice comes a little closer.

“Come on, Steve,” Eddie says plaintively. “Play ball. At least a little.”

More sincere, though who can trust that. He had sounded sincere in that creepy theater closet too.

“Ball, huh?” Steve addresses the Ds, runs his finger over the top of a Sunshine Superman, where it’s been torn a little. He loves shit like that. Devalues the record, sure, but he likes to think it’s because someone was once too excited to get the album out of its sleeve and into their ears to bother being careful about it. Loved it too much, and wasn't afraid of that love leaving a mark. “So we’re playing a game?”

There’s a pause. “Uh. We could be,” Eddie says slowly, and Steve can feel his ears going a little pink before he’s even consciously processed Eddie’s actual words, reacting purely to that shift in his tone. The way, when Eddie speaks again, it sounds like he’s even closer, close enough for Steve to imagine he can feel the warmth of him at his back. “What’s my prize?”

#steddie bang #my fic #stranger things fic #steddie fic #steddiebang23 #sparkly originals #stranger things fanmix #steddie as she goes boys

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shirozora-draws · 2 years

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... anyway! if i wasn't so tired/busy this whole fucking month, i'd already have gotten to a comfortable spot in the 3quelfic Part 1 revisions and started the final outline and first draft of That Staircase Doodle fic, but i am tired/busy so the best I can do right now is spend way too much time sketching and cleaning up said sketching some thoughts on Reluctant Mand'alor Din and Jedi Knight/Ambassador Luke.

i intentionally left in the older sketch line layers to 1) show my thought(?) process as i figure out a composition and 2) remind myself that this is NOT a polished piece, I don't got time to make fancy arts beside the 3 final prints for the print shop project.

I have one more scribble ready to go but it's thematically so dramatically different from this little one that I'll post it either Thursday or Friday night.

... I should.... actually get back to writing fic actually.

#shirozora draws #dinluke #skydalorian #lukedin #din djarin #luke skywalker #the mandalorian #star wars #AU sketching #story: the eros and psyche on the staircase fic #actually inspired by me reading a refresher on the actual 'eros and psyche' story #i would say this is so loosely based that you'd break your eyeballs squinting for connection #just have to believe my brain connected 'eros and psyche' with a dinluke doodle based on a pre-raphaelite art #IT MAKES SENSE I SWEAR #anyway this came out of the thought of eros sweeping psyche off her feet and carrying her off to his home #but here it's a lot about the elusive reluctant mand'alor letting down around this bright jedi knight #and showing him what it's like to have a jetpack and be able to fly (more like ditch boring council meetings at will)#and luke who's really just there to get friendly enough with the mand'alor to ask for grogu's future #gets swept away and starts falling in love #shit i need to write this down somewhere shit fuck fuckkkk

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miidnighters · 2 months

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i had this thought on thursday and had to schedule it for today so it was Thematically Appropriate but

i was thinking abt how Bella's tears are pink bc the only liquid her body has to draw on is blood - similarly, she doesn't need to pee or anything if all she's drinking is blood BUT all this is to say that being a very pretty dead thing she probably doesn't get wet during sex like, at all. Girl needs so much lube. And I feel like it would be a little embarrassing for her, even? Like, it's not that I don't like you my body just literally doesn't do that

#x. facts | bella | ☾#usfw #i think that's the first time that tag has ever been used on this blog #what was i on this day to have produced this thought #this is up on par with the road head ranking tbh

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lola-andheruniverse · 7 months

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⭐Caryl On! MASTERLIST Fan Fiction Recommendation Project⭐

Hi, dear carylers! I wanted to contribute to our little fandom, because it brings me a lot of joy. I love fan fiction since my pre-teen years so I thought I'd start a little project to recommend fics to you guys. Nothing fancy, just daily little reviews gushing about incredible caryl fics and celebrating our talented authors.

Each day of the week has a category/tag. Each category has an embedded link that directs you to all reviews posted on said tag:

Here's some thematic recs: caryl reuniting in paris | halloween caryl | thanksgiving caryl | christmas caryl | new year's caryl

So far, 118 caryl fics written by 75 different authors were recommended by me and fellow carylers (updated index here). And there's much more to discover! Let's keep spreading the caryl love and positivity!

#caryl #caryl positivity #caryl on #caryl fic recs #caryl fanfiction #caryl fandom

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 10 months

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tuesday again 7/11/23, timezone change edition

the last time i wrote one of these things, i was not quite fully packed up in ma. now, i am technically temporarily homeless in houston, bc the apartment i originally signed on was completely unlivable. crashing in an acquaintance's guest room for a bit while i have a very bad time with apartment hunting round 2

i have lived in south florida, staten island, and various shithole student housing. i understand seasonal bugs in hot places and things such as different kinds of roaches and palmetto bugs. when i say that apartment had the worst roach infestation i've ever seen i fucking mean it. in theory i will get my full deposits back, but they're taking their sweet fucking time about it.

but having that full yes-i-know-about-seasonal-roaches conversation with new acquaintances and leasing agents takes too long so i've resorted to saying it had a horrific bedbug problem, which everyone seems to go Oh Okay Yeah Reasonable For You To Leave much more quickly.

listening

a lot of early aughts dance pop standards, to chase away the agonies as i drive to and from apartments only to get ghosted, find they were rented a week ago, or find that they look absolutely nothing like the pictures. i was really torn on which britney song to pick for this week until my sister sent me Twin Flame by Maude Latour, which i can only describe as "douchebag get the girl back song but for lesbians". spotify

also how do we like the "featured link from bandcamp or soundcloud with additional spotify link" format? in an ideal world i would buy all my music directly from the artists but realistically i use spotify 90% of the time. i don't know what your life is like, tell me if this is helpful or not.

reading

my best friend made sad faces at me until i read The Flatshare by Beth O'Leary, and it was a little nice to see someone else's dire housing situation get resolved neatly and with thematic consistence in several hundred pages. it was also nice to text her snippets with "WHAT?????" every so often. this is a reading experience i don't have very often bc our current reading tastes don't overlap even a little bit.

i don't have much to say about it bc i didn't have particularly strong feelings and don't really read mainstream straight romance, so i can't point out what this did differently or well compared to its peers. if nothing else, it was a fluffy bit of distraction, and i think that's kind of the point?

(image from Tor) also read Saad Z. Hossein's Kundo Wakes Up novella in a waffle house while eating some of the best scrambled eggs i've ever had in my life.

this novella was the closest thing i've ever read to "aging English professor has an affair" without actually containing any of those elements. generally i enjoy his work, but this was sort of a way to check up and tie off many characters from previous works with a sort of light frosting of "my wife left me and i don't know why [ rot13:v pna znxr fbzr thrffrf ohg gurer vf ab zbzrag bs frys-ernyvmngvba, bapr ur svaqf uvf jvsr ur whfg perrcf ba ure sebz nsne naq nsgre qrgrezvavat fur'f abg jvgu nalbar arj znxrf gur gerzraqbhf fnpevsvpvny qrpvfvba gb yrnir ure nybar op fur'f zhpu unccvre jvgubhg uvz. gurer vf ab zbzrag bs frys-ernyvmngvba nobhg jul fur zvtug unir yrsg uvz. xhaqb arire trgf bhg bs uvf bja shpxvat urnq bapr.]"

while The Gurkha and the Lord of Thursday novella (TREMENDOUS) and Cyber Mage book (fun but with some dire pacing issues) are fairly standalone, i cannot imagine you'd get much out of Kundo Wakes Up if you haven't read the other two. for some reason none of the libraries i have access to have his other book Djinn City, so we'll have to procure that elsewhere.

watching

the dnd movie, the day after i broke my lease on the roach apartment. i don't remember a ton about this movie. do generally like a heist. michelle rodriguez was hot

playing

genshin. listen. it is a free and familiar way to turn my brain off by doing open world exploration and puzzles but CRUCIALLY! most of it is completely new to me. i have not played this game in a year and a half. i have not played this game since right before enkanomiya. there was no chasm. there was no Sumeru. i have absolutely no idea what’s happening lore-wise.

i pulled for the fancy ice claymore lady and got a catboy archer (at least i think it is a catboy? the ears do give a pharaoh hound vibe... he is distinct from the extant dogboy archer). not terrible but not my vibe.

youtube

i have been enjoying the shit out of the temporary summer event carnival space. they really did pull out several stops by introducing a ton of genuinely interesting and innovating little new mechanics and mini games. delightful!

making

altering the worst shorts ive ever seeeeeeeeen with a demure little two-inch side slit on both legs bc my thighs simply will not quit. mens shorts are so much better than womens shorts in nearly every way except for the catastrophic physical fit issues.

when i got ghosted by two different apartments on saturday i bought myself a spoon ring so chunky it makes my other chunky rings look positively delicate by comparison. not very comfy to drive in but fine to wear while tippy tappying on the spreadsheets

a girl i saw for one singular awful date in 2016 called my hands "coarse but honest" and i think about that every time my hands are in a photo. what did that even fucking MEAN, [REDACTED]?

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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raytorotits · 1 year

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I'm so new here can you tell me about the ray toro days of the week

always.

ray toro beer bong blowjob monday (rtbbbjm): spam reblogging the gifs of ray drinking rather skillfully from a beer bong (as seen in lotms)

rooby tuesday: a day to celevrate ray' tits, I mean breasts! (roobs = ray boobs)

wet ray wednesday: ray often dumps water on his head. Wednesdays are for celebrating when our man is soggy

toro thigh thursday: he um he has. thighs 😳😳

can't have beefaroni without forks friday: as seen in the in the studio 2002 video! we remember this wisdom and reblog a screenshot of the moment

jet star saturday: JET STAR SWEEP. jet star content baybee!!!

smiley shredding sunday: my personal favorite. we reblog content featuring Ray's enormous grin while he plays guitar so so so well. he loves to play guitar with his friends you guys 🥺

some holidays have one specific post that is circulated, some are more thematic, but it's always a good time!

#thank you for asking and happy wet ray wednesday.#ask bosk

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kvothes · 9 days

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17. 18. 31.

what do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block) quite frankly i don’t write. rarely do i force myself to write. the downside is that it can take me quite a long time to finish things. the upside is that i’m always coming at it with enthusiasm

do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? how do you come up with titles? i tend to use song lyrics as titles, usually early in the process i land on something that feels thematically appropriate! however i will confess that for some reason i cannot figure out what to title angel of thursday fic. i don’t know why i’m having such a hard time with it

do you start with the characters or the plot when writing? plot/concept tends to come first, and then i do the work of arranging characters within it in ways that make sense to me

#thank you!#ask games

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transmasc-wizard · 1 year

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Survivor's Guilt. Or Something.

hey look nicola-writes is posting writing for the first time in several months!

i wrote this in like. an hour and a half. lower your expectations for me.

tw: suicide (overdose), survivor's guilt in a way. 1185 words.

The Circle K sign glows red, and white, and just a bit of orange. It’s nothing special. Outside, a no parking sign is falling. Some teenager will steal it, probably. Teens are assholes like that.

The door gives a clear, loud ding when I step inside. You don’t chirp your own “ding!” alongside it. I wonder if that’s my fault.

My shoes go tap, tap, tap against the white floor. They’re dirty, and the laces on the right one are untied. My hands are too cold to bother fixing that. It’s not like anyone is here to step on them, anyway. My watch reads 11:47pm—the only ones in this building are me, the cashier, and some stoner in the corner. (You’d trip me if you were here.)

(You’re not.)

Everything is $0.99 in the third aisle. It’s on sale, I guess. I have seven dollars, plus a dime I found in your black jean jacket. That damn jacket is really warm—did that ever bother you? The lining is too fuzzy for any reasonable person to wear it any time but winter, yet I saw you in it probably every day. (I’m the one in it now. I don’t look as good as you did. It’s too short at the sleeves and too long in the back.) Maybe you were just always cold. I know your hands were.

I grab licorice nibs. three packs. They’re disgusting, but I’m going to eat them. That’s the point, you used to say. They taste like plastic, but they aren’t, so they’re not going to kill you. I think that’s stupid. Only you would like the taste of plastic. (I think you ate too much stuff you shouldn’t have.) I can hear you now, goading me to get a fourth pack.

Why the hell are you here?

You won’t go away. I’m standing in front of a candy display in Circle K at midnight on a Thursday and you’re not really here but you are and you won’t go away. Fuck you, honestly. Still finding a way to piss me off, even when you’re not around. Why the hell are you here?

(Why the fuck did you leave?)

(No. I know.)

I go over to where the slushie machine stands. The sticker for the orange flavour is peeling off, and where the lime flavour’s sticker used to be is just a gooey square. Someone should really fix that. I reach for a cup—the small ones are $2.29 now, these are getting more expensive, Christ—and get myself Blue Raspberry. It isn’t my favourite, but it was yours, so.

I watch the cup fill. Blue raspberry is a stupid name, I think. Stupid name for a mediocre flavour. Everything about this place is stupid. Stupid aisles, stupid displays, stupid slushie machine with it’s stupid fucking peeling stickers. And the stupid smiley face you drew on the lime sticker is gone now, and it’s never coming back. I remember it clearly, still. The eyes were gigantic, like a frog, with a teeny little smile. You said anyone who voluntarily drank lime slushies probably needed something to smile about.

All of a sudden my hand is cold and I realize I’ve nearly let the cup overflow. The plastic is freezing already, and I know I’ll have a cold, cold trip home. (You would jokingly offer to hold my hand, probably. I don’t know. I wouldn’t have taken it three weeks ago. Now I would.)

I pay for all my shit, and—licorice packs safely tucked in the pocket of your jacket—go back outside, the door dinging again. The no parking sign is still falling, frozen in the motion. I don’t know if or why I expected anything different. Wanted something more thematic, maybe. A dramatic clatter to represent some other end.

I lean against the window. I am very distinctly aware of the NO LOITERING sign above my head. No loitering, no parking, it’s almost like they don’t want anyone here at all. (I still don’t move.) (You would call me a little shit for that.) (You wouldn’t move, either.)

I loiter, and I look up to where the stars are supposed to be but aren’t because this is a city so of course they’re not, and I think.

I looked up survivor’s guilt last night and read the definition until it was seared into the back of my eyelids. “A condition of persistent mental and emotional stress experienced by someone who has survived an incident in which others died”. Do I have survivor’s guilt? Is being sixteen an incident? I survived it. You didn’t. I wish it were the other way around. That seems like survivor’s guilt, or something like it.

Pills. My mind is full of pills. They didn’t tell me specifics, probably didn’t want to give me ideas, but they told me you swallowed a fuck ton of pills. (Well, they didn’t say “fuck ton”, but I know that’s the right number.) You did it because you were stressed, you did it because you were sad, you did it because teens are fucking assholes and you didn’t want to deal with this anymore. I knew you weren’t doing well, but I didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t realize I should have told someone. (Should I have? Would that have changed anything?)

I wasn’t in your suicide note. Or if I was, no one thought to tell me. (Either way, I’m trying not to take it personally.) I wonder if you thought about me before you did it. (God, I’m self-absorbed.) I wonder if you knew how much I’d miss going to Circle K with you. (It’s been three weeks and I still expect you to pick up if I call.)

If I killed myself too, would I be a copycat? Would you find me again, after we were both dead, and tease me for following in your footsteps yet again? I listen to Elvis because you like him, I join tech class because you do, I kill myself in a bathroom because you did it first.

No. That won’t solve anything. I don’t even want to die, I just want to have my best friend back. (Please come back.)

It’s 12:03 when I finish my slushie. Happy Friday. I throw the blue-stained plastic cup at the nearest garbage can, and when I nearly miss, I want to start crying. But I don’t. Cheer up, you’d say. You never believed there was much use in crying. (I’m starting to think you just hid it for when no one was around.)

I don’t forgive you. I’ll never fucking forgive you. There is a dime in my pocket that isn’t mine and a jacket on my body I shouldn’t have an an empty space beside me that will never feel right and I don’t forgive you.

The Circle K sign glows red, and white, and just a bit of orange. It’s nothing special. I wish you could see it.

#nicola.txt #my writing #writblr #writeblr #short story

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twofoursixohjuan · 12 days

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Greetings,

I require advice:

on the etiquette of collaborative playlists

If you are not confident in your ability to advise on this matter, fear not, confident lies will be taken into consideration as well

Now for the issue at hand:

For an event happening on Tuesday, a groupchat of all the members of an organization I am a part of received a link to a collaborative playlist. The link was sent Thursday, and there are 22 members in the chat.

I found out how to add songs to the playlist today, and I have taken the initiative to add my own personal preferences to this playlist.

No one else has added any songs.

The playlist is now 1 hour and 38 minutes long.

My Spotify account does not use my real name, so unless I divulge the information, no one should know it was me. However, there is a not insignificant part of me that wants to text in the groupchat to remind people to add songs.

On the other hand, it would be supremely amusing to have only my songs with my eclectic taste playing at this event.

The question: have I taken things too far? Should I remove songs from the playlist, or should I double down and add even more?

Your advice on this matter would be greatly appreciated (and apologies for the long ask).

I know very little about the use of collaborative playlists so may be unqualified to comment but I would consider the length of the Event in question. Is one hour thirty-eight of songs an appropriate amount? I would suggest considering the appropriate size of said Collaborative Playlist.

Perhaps you could remind your fellow attendees of their musical responsibility, and if they deign to add their own tunes you may remove some of yours to keep the playlist a) within your considered time limit, and b) thematically balanced.

However, if the playlist remains too short to underscore the entirety of the Event, or if your fellows refuse to hold up their end of the Musical Bargain, I formally advise you to

go Hog Wild.

P.S. maybe consider the songs you're adding and make sure you have a bit of a spread of tone/genre within your preferences

P.P.S. thank you so much I cannot emphasise enough how much I love getting these kinds of asks it makes me feel like somebody's wise aunt

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blossomwritesthings · 1 year

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𝐢'𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

pairing: jisung x fem!reader (afab)

genre: sick!fic. idol!jisung. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. reader pov. established relationship.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. this one has got the angst. jisung isn't taking care of himself properly :(. reader is worried and takes it upon herself to take care of the precious dumpling. mentions of jisung spiraling/having a mental breakdown. mentions of panic attacks, anxiety, weight loss, and insomnia. pet names (affectionately). some toothe-rotting fluff and humor.

word count: 2.6k

summary: after a bout of not seeing your boyfriend jisung, you take it upon yourself to visit him one night in the studio. but what you find when you get there is the opposite of a happy sight.

a/n: whoo i haven't written a skz fic in a hot minute ever since my midterms started three weeks ago (and since this final month of the semester has been fucking me over big time). 👹 but this was really fun to write and omg ji is so cute and precious i wanna hold and take care of him forever!! 🥹 i hope to get out a few more skz fics this weekend, so please be on the lookout for those too~ and thanks for reading and supporting my work, it means a lot to me (also, i'm almost at 500 followers, wtf?!)!! 💖

🤎 - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌!

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It had been such a long time since you had visited your boyfriend Jisung at his studio. Usually, the two of you would spend time with each other whence he got home from his schedules - after the two of you had worked long and hard days. The two of you liked to spend your time together by playing various video games, binging your favourite animes, and catching up on the latest comics released by your loved authors.

But lately, it felt like you hadn’t seen Jisung in such a long time - even if it had only been a week. Since Stray Kids had started working on their upcoming comeback, your boyfriend spent most of his time at the company or in the studio. So that little space for you guys to catch up with each other at the end of the day was suddenly gone because of his new schedule.

And you wanted to change that.

So on that random Thursday night, you decided to surprise Jisung with a visit to his studio. And of course, you brought a large offering of food with you - which included all kinds of takeout like pizza, fried chicken, and more.

You arrived later at the company building than you wanted to - around ten at night - since you didn’t expect to wait so long for the food to arrive at your nearby apartment.

Nevertheless, as you stepped through the front doors of the company, you noticed how utterly silent it was. After all, the staff were done for the day and the only people that remained were the trainees and idols who always worked late into the night on various projects.

You shifted down the dark hallways silently, like a ghost. And when you finally neared the door that lead to Jisung’s studio, a huge smile spread across your lips. Because finally, you were getting to see him again. Even if it was only for a little while, an hour spent with your boyfriend would be the highlight of your entire day.

So you filed through the door slowly, trying to lighten your footsteps to surprise Jisung. The beat he was working on flowed around the room, the bass vibrating in the nearby speakers. The dim led-lights cast a pale blue room against the walls, calming a restless part inside of you. He was seated at his large desk, completely focused on the two monitors in front of him. Your boyfriend had his headphones on, his head bobbing along to the music, which left you with the perfect opportunity to sneak up on him.

Placing the bags of takeout down on the nearby coffee table that was placed just in front of the large leather sofa in the room, you crept up behind him. Reaching out, one of your hands grabbed onto his shoulder.

Immediately upon contact, Jisung let out a loud shriek. And within a single beat, he was ripping off his headphones and twisting around in his chair, sandy-blonde hair messy and eyes wild in fright.

But then, as soon as his gaze landed on you, relief washed over his face in the form of a pleased smile. “Baby-” He said in a light tone, swiveling his chair around and facing you completely.

“Uhm- hi,” you began, twisting your hands together in front of you in sudden nervousness. You didn’t know why you were suddenly tongue-tied around him. The two of you had been dating for what felt like years - and you usually didn’t react in such a way when he used the pet name 'baby' on you. But perhaps, it was because it had been so long since you visited him in his studio - since you had entered his sacred space and breathed the same air as him as he composed his music. Nevertheless, you mimicked his smile, before motioning with your head to the nearby table that was laden with food. “I brought dinner.”

At that, his smile dropped just a little bit. “Oh… thanks, baby. I’ll eat it when I can, yeah?” His focus darted to the plastic bags for just a moment, before they landed back on you. A tiny smirk spread across his lips then, as he said in a playful voice, “Quit standing over there and c’mere, I wanna get a taste of your beautiful lips.”

A furious blush bloomed across your cheeks as you slowly stepped into his space. Jisung wrung his arms around your waist, helping you to sit down on his lap. In an instant, he captured your mouth in a passionate, almost desperate kiss. He must’ve been feeling the effects of your absence too.

“Ji- wait,” you started, drawing away from his kisses to take a few quick breaths. Your heart was beating wildly against your ribcage, as you noticed the way that his dark, chestnut-brown eyes filled with so much love as he looked on at you in bated silence. “I don’t want the food to get cold. Let’s eat…” But then, your voice trailed off as you began to notice the slight changes in his features since the last time that you had been him.

Because you were sitting so close to him on his lap, you had a clearer view of his face - and how his cheeks looked a little more deflated than usual, how dark circles hung underneath his eyes, and his hair was so disheveled to the point that it looked like it hadn’t been washed in a few days.

“Babe- are you okay?” You suddenly asked, palm coming up between the two of you and pressing gently against his cheek. It was slightly cool to the touch, something very unlike him - since you always joked that he was your furnace. “When’s the last time you ate something?”

Your gaze locked with your boyfriend’s then, as he stayed silent. The quietness stretched between you, dancing around the room and only heightening your concern.

Because oh-

Oh, holy fuck-

He was doing it again.

He was letting himself slip… just like in the past, when the boys had been so incredibly busy with their schedules.

At first, it just started as little warning signs…

Less of an appetite,

More fatigue,

Restless nights of sleep.

But then,

Then- the symptoms would always get worse.

They usually always resulted in a heightened sense of anxiety and stress and heartache.

Or worse, panic attacks.

You had seen him fall off the cliffside only two times before when his schedule had been swamped with activities. And the last time it had happened - which was well over a year before - you had promised yourself that you’d never let it happen again.

That late, stormy night, the two of you had been sprawled out atop your plush mattress, surrounded by the four walls of your bedroom that were dim with shadows. And you had held a weak and thin and weeping Jisung in your arms in a tight embrace, as you vowed to his shaking form that you’d never allow him to fall so deep into the hole of darkness.

Never again.

So, pressing both of your palms to his cheeks, you forced him to look you straight in the eyes. He was a horrible liar. Jisung could never deny you when you stared deep into his eyes, so that’s exactly what you did.

“Now look at me and tell me that you’ve eaten something today, baby.” The words came out a little strangled at the end, and the sharp intake of breath that fell from Jisung’s lips was all you needed to know at that moment.

Immediately, you felt your lips quiver in a sob, as you fully leaned into him. Wrapping both arms around his waist in a tight grip, you buried your face into his warm neck, struggling to breathe as worried thoughts began to race through your mind.

“It hasn’t been that long, I swear-” He finally said, his soft voice taking a sharp blade to the tension that hung between the two of you. You felt his fingers grasp at your sides, digging into the fabric of your thick, oversized hoodie. “Just… it’s been so hectic around here that I haven’t found the time to-”

At that, you frantically pushed away from him, “There’s never an excuse, baby. Never. I don’t care how busy you are- you need to eat. You need to sleep… even if it’s just a few hours a night. You need to take care of yourself, because-” Your words cut off then, as the lump in your throat solidified and the tears began to flow from the corners of your eyes, heating your flushed cheeks.

“Because what, baby girl?” He questioned, his eyes softening exponentially at the sight of your tears. He reached forward, tucking a strand of your hair behind one of your ears before he brushed a few of your tears away with a gentle thumb.

“Because… I can’t lose you, Ji. I- I-” The breath caught in your throat then, as all of the fears of what could happen raced through your mind then. Of what could’ve happened if you hadn’t caught it in time. If you hadn’t visited him that night and hadn’t seen him up close. “I’m sorry… for visiting you so late, I-I should’ve been here, and I wasn’t.”

Jisung silenced you with a kiss, delicately pressing his forehead against yours, the scent of him - of freshly cleaned linen and sweet chamomile tea - danced around you. It reminded you of how familiar he felt, how sweet and kind and beautiful he was. And how you never, ever wanted to let him go.

“Please don’t apologize, sweetheart,” he began in a low, gruff voice, his words slightly strained in emotion. “I should be the one apologizing. I told you last time that I’d never let it get this far, yet here I am…”

You cracked your eyes open to the sight of his furrowed brows and saw the weary light that filled his gaze at that exact moment. “No- no it’s okay, Ji. You don’t have to say sorry, I understand you.” You flattened both hands against his chest, slowly pressing against the muscle there. “Just… just let me take care of you, yeah? Let me help you gain strength again.”

A tiny grin cracked across his mouth at your words, and he canted his head to one side, focus landing on the table just behind you, which was full of the food that you had brought with you. “If helping me gain my strength back includes devouring that food over there, I’m all for it.” He said in a mischievously-dark tone.

You rose an eyebrow his way, “It also includes you promising me that you’ll get a minimum of four hours of sleep every night... at least until you're done with promotions for this comeback.”

He let out a loud groan, pressing his head against the back of his chair in apparent agony. “Four hours? Babe- you’re killing me here.” He whined, screwing his eyes shut and frowning in displeasure.

“Well, it’s either that or- six hours.”

Jisung flashed you a glare, but it wasn’t menacing in the least bit. Instead, it only made you giggle in delight at the sight of it. Because suddenly, you realized that upon first entering his studio and seeing him, he had been acting… different.

More exhausted than usual,

And even... weary.

But soon after having cracked him open, and discovering his struggles with facing another downward spiral, your boyfriend immediately brightened.

Like, just the sight of you had helped relieve some of the pain.

Even if the circles were still dark under his eyes and even if his cheekbones were a little gaunt, at least he was starting to come back to his usual, bright self.

“Well now, four hours doesn’t seem too unreasonable…” Jisung started, running a hand through his hair and chuckling faintly.

You stood up from his lap then, nearing the table that was full of food and taking a seat on the sofa. “Good. Now c’mere, I’m starving.” You patted the space beside you, offering your boyfriend a warm smile.

“I haven’t eaten since… I can’t even remember when. I think it was last night’s dinner with the guys.” Jisung confessed as he took the seat beside you, already prying open one of the bags. His entire face lit up at the sight of the glistening, still-hot fried chicken. He turned to you then, a goofy kind of smile adorning his face. “Oh- what am I ever going to do with you? You’re just too perfect for me!”

Without any warning, Jisung was pulling you into a tight hug, peppering kiss after kiss across your entire face. You tried to protest against his affection - but in all actuality, you secretly adored it. Adored his attention and love. And of course, he knew this. So it wasn’t until you finally managed to throw him off of you that he stopped and leveled you with a mirthful smirk.

“Yeah, okay- I get it, you love me.” You playfully rolled your eyes at him, inclining over the table and grabbing a saucy drumstick for yourself.

The silence lapsed between the two of you for a few beats, as you focused on the meal. When suddenly, Jisung was speaking again, but in a much quieter voice than before.

“Thank you, baby.”

You turned to him, brows slightly furrowing in question as you chewed on a slice of cheese pizza.

“I mean… you didn’t have to do any of this,” he looked around the table that was full of steaming hot takeout. “Yet, you still did. You visited me at my studio to surprise me, but I think you might’ve saved me in the process too.”

You reached over then, brushing a few of your fingers against his cheek. He leaned into the touch, holding your hand close to his skin. “That’s what I’m here for, babe… to make you feel better. And I’ll always be here, no matter what. So every time you start to feel shitty, just call me, and I’ll be here in a heartbeat.”

Jisung turned his face then, pressing a few delicate kisses against your fingertips. “And I hope you know that I’ll do the same for you, princess. Always. Whenever you need me, I’m here.”

Smiling, you tilted in once more to press a kiss against his lips. And in a split second, he was kissing you back. More fervently this time, and when the two of you pulled apart to catch your breaths, you felt the flush from before start to brighten your cheeks again.

“Holy fuck- I’m never getting enough of you,” was all that you heard your boyfriend say before he was tipping back into you to push his perfect, rosebud-like mouth against yours.

After a few beats of silence that were only filled with your kisses, you slanted away from your boyfriend and glared his way, “Okay, okay- but you better stop now mister, before I truly get angry.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at you, a devilish smirk widening the corners of his mouth. “Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do if I don’t stop?”

You hit his shoulder with a light fist, “I”m gonna eat all of this food myself, and leave none for you.”

Jisung’s impish grin dropped instantly at your words, and suddenly, he was diving headfirst into the food once more. As he stuffed his face full of pizza and chicken wings, cheeks puffing up like a cute little chipmunk, you could only chuckle softly and stare back at him in loving adoration.

Because no matter what he went through - you were always going to be by his side.

And it came in handy that he was a horrible liar, because at least he could never hide anything from you.

So matter what, no matter the hurdles that he would face in his life, you would always be right alongside him, helping him overcome them all. And you knew that he’d continually do the same thing for you in return.

Fin.

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