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#this is kinda sad

Forever ?

TW: Drug addiction TW: Overdose

Highschool AU (less then zero inspo)

“Parker !” Someone yells, but Peter can’t hear, can’t think. Hes numb and hes lost and alone and its raining and everything is too much for him. He can’t believe that things have come to this, that Tony… that Tony ran away. The person who yelled his Name runs over to him Opening his umbrella.

“Hey.. Pete, your gonna get sick its too cold, lets go back inside, warm up and then we look for Tony” the person says, but Peter shakes his head .. “No…I.. I Gotta find him, i know him better then anyone else, i know where he might be” he takes a shaky breath. Thankfull that he came back to his rational thinking.

And with that Peter starts running through the rain, and he runs …and runs… until his lungs burn like fire. Its so dark and cold.. if the drugs don’t get Tony the cold sure does, he runs along all those places that hold their memories, bringing tears into his eyes.

The bench where they had their first kiss, the Parking lot infront of the car Theater where Peter lost his virginity on the backseat of Tonys car. The place under the bridge where he picked Tony up for the first time when he was hungover and ..on something else then alcohol.

He checks every place, every corner and in the end.. He finds Tony on the rocks by the beach, the place where Tony said the big L word for the first time.

He runs over , calling his Name like a prayer “Tony!!!” He grabs the boys face, its pale and ice cold. “No…no…hey..Tony! Wake up!” Peter yells, smacking his face then, no reaction. He shakes him roughly a few times, tears and rain Streaming down his face.

Then he remembers, Tony constantly told this story of a guys life he saved in the bathroom of a Club by Making him vomit out the pills he took. It…might work. So despite being disgusted at his Actions Peter pushes two fingers down Tonys dry throat, finding his gag reflex spot and Pushing against it…

And Thank god or who or whatever but Tony does wake up, and vomits..But that dosent matter. Hes alive !

“Tony…Tony Im here , i got you” he breathes out, looking around and finding the lights of an ambulance nearby. It must have been someone at the Party who called them. So Peter yells and waves his arms until they see him. “Your gonna be fine..” He says to the Love of his life.

But Tony’s eyes are empty “I can’t… Peter don’t make me, they gonna force me into Rehab.. Please” he begs, Holding onto his boyfriends shirt. His eyes red and the white slightly bloody, his lips dry and chapped.

“You almost died, if you can do this to me…run away and Overdose… Then i can let them throw you into Rehab” Peter frowns, stroking over Tonys cold cheek. The paramedics arrive and take Tony in… Peter can’t come with them because hes not family according to them.

It takes a whole month until Peter can See Tony again, hes done with Rehab but his mom and dad didnt let him out for another week. They meet at the bench where they first kissed.. And Peter is sure Tony picked that place for a reason.

“You came..” Tony smiles gently when he sees Peter, Sitting down on the bench with him.

“Of course Tony…” He frowns a bit when Tony puts a cigarette between his lips. “Did you expect me Not to? You…are still my boyfriend right ?” Peter asks nervously. Earning a small chuckle from Tony.

“Yea..I uh..hope So, you saved my life and all that. Gotta repay you somehow” Tony winks, taking a drag from his cigarette and moving his arm around Peters shoulder, Kissing his head.

“Im sorry.. I put you through this, im sorry i didnt Listen when you told me not to…take that last pill and drown it with a shot of Whisky” he mumbles, rubbing his neck nervously “And i wanna Thank you, for not Giving me up, for being there..” He adds.

Peter leans against him, taking in the healthy color on Tonys face and his smooth and soft lips now. The face he fell in love with. “You don’t need to thank me for that, im just ..glad Your here with me. Right now. Its Perfect” Peter says, taking Tonys cigarette out from between his lips, Throwing it away while he replaces it with his lips , Smiling at the way Tony kisses him back.

A few days After that Tony is allowed to stay out for a night again, so Peter takes him into their favorite milkshake and fries diner, and After that they end up at Peters place. Gently Making out on the couch, they need eachother again After such a long time of being apart.

Peter moans a bit when he feels Tonys hand at his inner thigh “been so long…need you…” He whispers, breathing in deeply again when Tonys hand moves even higher. “I know, sweetheart, i know you do” Tony whispers while he kisses the boys jaw.

They get rid of their clothes in a matter of seconds, and Peter frowns when he looks at the scars on Tonys arms, the holes from the needle.. The Heroin that he kept pumping in there like its the only thing Keeping him alive. So Peter leans in, kissing those circle formed scars, feeling Tony shiver under his gentle kiss.

“Im so glad this is over Tony, you mean the World to me you know that?” Peter asks, looking up at him when Tony takes the lube bottle. “I know Pete, same goes for you, i wouldnt be here without you” he smiles wide. Starting to prep Peter gently because its been a while, and he dosent want to hurt him..ever again…

“I love you.” Tony says before he pushes his lenght inside of Peter, letting his head fall onto his chest while he moans a bit, hes so tight its driving him crazy. “I love you more..” Peter smirks as wide as possible, hooking his legs around Tonys waist.

He missed this feeling so much, having Tony as close as possible, knowing hes going to get a full night of amazing and mind blowing sex. Their moans start filling the living room and Peter is glad his Aunt is out the whole night so they can do whatever they want..again and again…

“Feels so good!!!! Tony don’t Stop” Peter moans louder, clinging to Tony like hes afraid of him Leaving again, begging him to go harder because he can take and because he knows Tony needs it. And Tony pounds that boy into the couch like he used to, but this time sober..this Time hes gonna remember the next morning.

When Peter cums and clenches around Tony, Tony cums as well, filling him up like he knows Peter loves. “God i missed that Pete, you don’t even know..” He sighs deeply, Kissing his lips again and stroking those brown curls behind his ears while he carefully pulls out, wrapping them both up into a blanket, watching the fireplace with Peter leaning against him.

“Promise me this is forever.” Peter whispers, and Tony nods softly, leaning in to kiss him again. “I promise.

The end.

If you Seen less then zero.. Then you know how this story really ends, but i needed a Happy ending.

Please like or reblog if you liked this and if you would like to read more of my writing !

/Message me for Roleplay/

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carefully, very carefully, she reaches up and gently tugs him down by that ridiculous, high collar. and then she tugs down that ridiculous, high collar to expose the lower half of his face. and finally, she leans in to give him a very quick, soft kiss on the lips.

  he watched carol do the motions, and he almost pulled away when her hands grasped his collar. he figured maybe she wanted to be eye level, and let himself be pulled down, though he didn’t expect the next half.

  membrane was frozen to the spot, brows furrowed in … confusion ? maybe some slight delight ? he wasn’t sure, at all, what just happened. what had happened, anyway ? that thing she’d done, it was a familiar gesture he vaguely recalled happening in, what, romance movies ? what was it again ? a KISS ? no, that can’t be right.


  he stammered, feeling his face get hot, too hot, but he just straightened his back, averting his gaze and hiding his face back into that collar, almost all the way.

    what … what was that ? 

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Today is a chill day… but also a sad day.

I quit my last job several months ago and ironically, despite all the horror stories, found a job at Amazon, haha

I’m glad I’m out of the job that I felt stuck and unhappy in for so long, but today, I made the mistake of looking back at the past memories of that place… and made myself sad and hurt again.

On one hand, it was a shitty environment full of people I should hate, but… I just don’t.

I even miss them. I wish the best for them.

I don’t know how to feel, how I should feel, but right now, I just feel sad.

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9:14 pm /

jaemin wasn’t ready for summer to end just yet. he couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to see you, after you two just spent an entire month or two together. not being able to see your shining smile that appeared on your face whenever he did something silly. not being able to pick you up by your waist at the beach and running towards the ocean with you in his arms. not being able to have you on his shoulders as you two feel the rhythm of songs at your favorite concert.

he wasn’t ready. and neither were you.

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Originally posted by annieliinaa

My breath freezes in my chest. All the noises and lights fade into the rush of blood in my ears. He’s not supposed to be here. He’s not supposed to be here with her. “Alex?” I whisper. That’s all I can manage. He turns around lazily with his hand resting underneath her shirt and just looks at me. I can smell the alcohol from where I am and I think that’s what does it. Everything goes numb as I watch him roll his eyes at me. He slurs my name over and over and it sounds angrier the more he says it. It makes me flinch but I don’t think he notices. The girl beside him, already half inside him, notices. She leers at me and it occurs to me that she knows. She knows that he was moaning my name yesterday. She knows that half of my closet is filled with his clothes. She knows that he is supposed to be mine.

“What are you doing, Alex?” it comes out as a whisper again.

“What does it look like?” he waves a hand in front of the girl and she winks. I don’t say anything, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say anyway. “She’s better than you. She’s better in every way,” he says again. The words tumble out of drunken lips but that doesn’t mean they are any less true. I’ve been waiting on him to decide that he wanted someone else. It’s a miracle we made it this long in the first place. “You aren’t good enough anymore. Go home,” he throws at me one last time before he turns around. I stand there for a second longer to make sure that he isn’t going to turn around and this was supposed to be a twisted sort of prank. He doesn’t turn around so I do. I turn around and walk out with his words rattling around inside my head. They change from his voice to my parents’ voices, back to his and then finally mine. You’re not good enough You’re not good enough I’ve never been good enough I shove it away, the way I’ve done it before until it is barely a mumble at the back of my mind. I go home and methodically, robotically, I put all of his things in a bag. I take his t-shirts out of the drawers and fold them into the bag. I drop his deodorant and toothbrush in there too. I pack and pack until all that’s left are the bare bones of me. Who am I without him? I shake my head as I look around the apartment. My apartment. It was never his. I was never his. I simply wanted to be. He was a mess and hurting and he needed me. We were friends but I wanted to be more. I thought loving him would be enough. I should have known nothing I do is ever enough. I sigh and flop into my bed. These feelings, these thoughts, they’re nothing new. They almost provide comfort with how familiar they are. Almost. I pull the comforter up over my head and make a promise in the dark to not let them consume me again.

Keep reading

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“There’s nothing you can do to help Sabrina. I have nothing now. I can’t return to the academy, I don’t have parents. My Familiar is dead.” He brought a sleeve up to his eyes, wiping a tear from his face. “Maybe it’s best if you just stop helping?” His hand reached forward, taking a long drink from his cup once more, his head pressing against the top of the bar.


“    you… i…    ” her nose twitched, eyes stinging as she held back tears. the scene before could play out in two ways. she could storm out of here, all white hot rage, and never return. they’d part as angry exes. instead, she sniffed, grabbed the glass from his hand, and handed it to dorian, who took the hint to wander off. “    nick. ni━ nicholas, look at me━━    ” she placed one of her hands on each of his shoulders and yanked him to face her, briefly hoping he did not puke on her. “    i did not force you to kill amalia, i did not force you to help me with blackwood. you offered. and i’m sorry that you regret it, but i can’t change it    ” she cursed the nervous squeak in her voice. “    i am going to force you to stop drinking yourself to death and help me get us back in.    ”

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i have another fic that it’s uh decent and i just found out i have a draft from 2017 GOD i dont even remember the plot for this story fjfkkrkf

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