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deweysdenouement · 4 years

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House of Cards

a/n: this has lived in my mind rent free for longer than i care to admit but i only actually wrote it all tonight. somethin’ a little different. somethin’ likely not that good.

or: years after beatrice and bertrand leave vfd, beatrice and frank get trapped under a desk together during a bank robbery. mostly just them, cameos from bertrand, violet, and ernest + much discussion of kit and dewey

TW for guns and blood (nothing graphic, no death)

“Well,” Beatrice says brightly as a bullet flies over their heads and dislodges some beige coloured plaster in the wall. “This is no good.”

“I thought we were just amicable strangers in a queue,” Frank replies flatly, folded up like the origami swans on the tables at his hotel, trying to keep his body hidden under the desk.

“Amicable strangers surviving a bank robbery together,” she says. “It brings people closer.”

“That’s never been my experience of the world,” Frank says, and it’s punctuated by another two shots, an effect she imagines he rather enjoys. “In my experience, when people get scared, they just leave.”

‘Well,” Beatrice says, as her heart breaks behind her ribs, “I am actually stuck here right now.”

“You haven’t changed,” he replies, and a hint of softness creeps into his voice. “I thought being a mother would force you to learn to actually listen to people.”

It’s a dig, and an accurate one at that, but they might be dead in a few minutes, so she leaves her arsenal of words she could throw back at him alone. Partly because she’s listening for the footsteps of the man keeping them all in here, partly because Frank looks more pitiful than annoyed.

“I have two children now,” she says softly. “So I should be doubly good at it.”

“I saw. Dewey kept the clipping from the birth announcement in the paper.”

“How is he?”

“You know Dewey,” Frank says, tone carefully even. “If there’s a silver lining, he’ll find it.”

Someone on the other side of the room starts to cry. A few scattered voices hush them.

“He’s not great,” Frank finishes. “So we should try to avoid dying here.”

“We’ll be fine,” Beatrice says easily. “They just want the money. We’ve got nothing to do with it.”

“Bad timing,” he murmurs.

“Because you’re stuck in a hostage situation, or because you’re stuck in a hostage situation with me?”

Frank smiles crookedly for the first time since they had noticed each other in the queue.

“Oh, the latter,” he says. “If I was stuck here with Bertrand? No complaints.”

“Bertrand could have talked that guy down by now,” she says glumly. “You could run off back to the hotel and avoid any awkward conversation at all.”

“Don’t you always claim to be some genius with people?” Frank shifts slightly, and she hears the crack of his bones. They’re both getting older.

“I can’t even get toddlers to go to bed,” she says ruefully, and it feels more honest than she means it to. “You think I can stop a hostage situation with the power of love?”

“Well, it would be nice. I have a meeting in an hour.”

“I cannot believe you are worrying about work,” she hisses. “Are you gonna try telling him that?”

“I’ve never seen the emotional card work in the movies,” he says, and she thinks he might be joking with her again. “Who can know what’ll work?”

“I do feel very inclined to tell him I have a husband and two children,” Beatrice huffs, and slides down the smooth wood so she’s half resting on the small of her back. “If anything happens to me-”

“Don’t be dramatic,” he says sharply. His face is closed off again. “Nothing is happening to you.”

“Never knew you cared.” She grins at him, knocks her shoe against his. “Anyone else would have let me have my moment.”

“Kit would tell you to shut up,” he says. “Then threaten to run you over with her taxi.”

“That was definitely her thing.”

“It still is her thing,” Frank says. “We didn’t all stop existing when you left.”

“I know,” she says, a little ashamed. “How is she?”

“How much have you forgotten about us that you think Kit and I are talking about feelings?”

“Good point,” she says, and laughs a bit. “But you can tell, can’t you?”

“I guess,” he hums. “She’s pretty mad at you.”

“That’s fair.”

Footsteps move right past their desk, separated only by a thin slice of wood, and they both hold their breaths for a moment.

“She does miss you both though,” he carries on, and she thinks maybe he’s using Kit as a shield, that they’re not really talking about her anymore. “Probably more than she’s mad at you.”

“I guess you can’t know,” she says.

“I guess not.”

“I really am sorry,” Beatrice whispers. “And you can tell her that, if you want. I think a lot of people would have made our choice if they’d been able to.”

Being friends with Frank, she remembers, is a lot like building a house of cards. There’s a lot of fragile and strategic placing, and a wrong step usually means starting over. It’s a shame this isn’t really a good time to be hesitant.

“I would have,” he says eventually, and she breathes a sigh of relief. “But then VFD made the hotel too critical to their operations, even though we just wanted it to be a hotel. And then there’s my brothers. Obviously.”

“I didn’t know you wanted it to be normal,” she frowns.

“Told you you didn’t know everything,” he says, smiling weakly. “What better way to keep us where we were than monopolising our only source of income?”

“Not very noble,” she mutters, then, “Why do you always talk about it like you’re not a part of it?”

“Don’t start reading into things,” he huffs. “I look at most things from the outside.”

“Well, that’s because you have problems,” Beatrice quips teasingly, and she’s about to make an excellent joke when there’s another round of shots so close to her ear that for a second her head is full of ringing, and then Frank is groaning next to her.

When the ringing subsides and she hears the feet move away and sees the light shining through the holes in her desk, she scrambles over to Frank.

“Oh shit,” she says, when she sees blood on the floor. “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah, feeling great,” Frank snaps, shifting so she can see the wound in his leg. It’s not deep, and he doesn’t look in any danger of dying, but it still makes her a little dizzy after a few years of mainly cleaning up baby food. “Not the first time.”

“When was the first time?” Beatrice asks, stripping off her cardigan to press it against his leg and trying to sound normal. “And why haven’t I heard this story?”

“Oh, it was meant for Ernest,” he says, and hisses when she applies pressure. “I kept up the ruse. Long story.”

“We have time,” she says.

“Not much,” he replies. “I heard police outside.”

As much as she would like to not be hiding from a man with a gun, Beatrice knows that when this is over, so is this conversation. They’re only trapped here together by freak coincidence and her pulling him down next to her when the first shots went off. He’ll be gone with the wind as soon as the doors open.

“Hey, Beatrice,” he says, snapping her out of her reverie. “Listen to me for a moment and don’t say anything.”

“Fine,” she says. “Don’t confess your feelings for me though.”

“Hah,” he snorts. “Well, if I do, it’s the blood loss.”

“Making you reveal what you’ve felt all along,” she says brightly. “Come on now, before you pass out.”

“I’m not passing out,” he says stubbornly, and she believes this because she’s seen him go three days without sleeping before. “I just needed to tell you that if I die and you live-”

“Obviously not happening.”

“I said don’t say anything,” he grumbles. “If I don’t make it out of here and you do, I need you to tell my brothers-”

“That you love them? We know, Frank, maybe you should just show some affection sometimes.”

“Will you shut up?” Frank narrows his eyes at her. He’s a little pale and sweaty, but still as sharp as ever. “I need you to tell them one of them can take my place. If they want to. It’s probably easier than whatever they’ve got going on.”

“Well,” Beatrice says. “That’s insane.”

“I didn’t ask your opinion on it, I just asked you to do it,” Frank snaps. “Beatrice, for god’s sake, let a man bleed in peace.”

“You’re hilarious,” she says. “I don’t think you have it that easy though.”

“Your opinion isn’t really part of my life anymore,” he says bluntly, and closes his eyes. “I’d pass on a message for you.”

“Eh,” she says. “I think I’m kinda obvious now. I love my family, I want them to move on, I was very noble, blah blah.”

“Duly noted,” he replies. “You have fun with that.”

Then the doors break open, and there’s a cacophony of yelling, and when Beatrice peers over the top of the desk, she sees that the man who took them all hostage is in handcuffs.

“Told you we’d be fine,” she says. “I know you thought we were both done for, but you gotta learn to listen to me.”

Frank flips her off, and she helps him to his feet, slinging one skinny arm over her shoulder.

Outside, there are crowds of people all with their gloved hands over their mouths and some cheer as the little group of hostages trails out.

“Hi!” A little voice calls, and Beatrice looks down to see Violet toddling towards her at top speed, Bertrand hurrying behind her with Klaus in his arms.

“Oh,” he says slowly when he approaches, and sees Frank with her. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Frank says, making some vague attempt to look dignified despite barely being on his feet. “I hope you’re well.”

“Are you?” Bertrand asks, nonplussed.

“What do you think?” Frank says flatly, and Beatrice nods subtly to the blood seeping down his leg so Bertrand will understand the sudden absence of a filter.

Before Bertrand can come up with any reasonable response to that (and she’s sure he could and she would admire him greatly for it), Ernest is swooping in, and it’s another punch to the gut of a familiar face even if it’s the exact same face.

“There you are,” Ernest says, pulling Frank off Beatrice to lean on him without a word to her. He looks dreadful, but she can’t tell if it’s the present stress or a new normal. “Dewey’s worried sick. Kit drove me here, that’s how dire things got.”

“Hi, Ernest,” Beatrice says. Bertrand stays wisely silent.

Ernest gives her the once-over.

“Thanks for helping,” he says shortly. “You probably shouldn’t come to the taxi.”

“Good call,” she says weakly. “Bye.”

It feels just as hard the second time.

“Bye,” Ernest says, and Frank raises a hand. “Okay, come on, you’re off work for at least a week.”

“It’s a graze,” Frank sighs, and then they’re both gone into the crowd, and Beatrice stands among the bustle of people with Bertrand’s hand on her shoulder and fresh blood drying on her dress.

#beatrice baudelaire #frank denouement #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #beatrice x kit #is kinda implied #if you wANT IT TO BE #(i want it to be)#my writing

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acesophiewalten · 3 years

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📓?

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO-

This is an A Series of Unfortunate Events AU that the absolutely wonderful @violetbauds and I came up with and I love it vv much.

The basic gist is that Olaf and Kit end up getting together after all, Kit becomes a countess, and together they have four children. Klara and Alexander, the eldest twins, Alice, the darling child, and Oliver, a forgotten youngest son.

Klara’s a photojournalist, and she can come across as very blunt, sarcastic, and a bit emotionally unintelligent. She has a deep love for her siblings and sees her parents as basically nonexistent. She’s extremely logical, and thinks through anything before she does it. Labeled as a “problem child” for her comments and refusal to do anything for her parent’s benefit.

Alexander’s a chemist, specifically one specializing in poisons. He is a little bit more forgiving and flighty than his twin sister, but still pretty logical. He is more of the “fun” twin, often entertaining his little sibling’s ideas. His logical side only really works when he has time, though, and can be extremely unrealistic and panicked when under pressure and will infodump about the dangers of arsenic.

Alice is a painter, and is the most imaginative and nice out of all of her siblings. She’s frantically loyal to her mother, and later, VFD, and is the first to jump to their defense. She can believe people extremely easily, and harbors an intense hatred of the fire-starters and her father’s side of the family. Really, she just wants to sit in a field and watercolor for the rest of her life, and hopefully never be bothered.

Oliver’s a filmmaker, specifically a horror filmmaker. He’s the first to suggest short films and has a huge respect for Gustav Sebald, and his work. He looks and acts like a bab but knows a lot of wacky information on ways to kill someone, due to some extensive research. He is the only one who believes that his dad is going to return to his “old self” soon, and has an endless amount of excuses and a lot of anger towards his mom.

Okay so the plot technically has two kick-off points!

The first is when Kit is invited back into VFD, and she uses this to basically disappear from the world and her family at large. As much as she loves her children, she, at this point, is willing to do anything to get out of her toxic marriage and the suffocating life of a countess, and re-joining seems like the best bet to being invisible and staying invisible.

All of the Edvardson children, shocked by their mother’s disappearance, try to keep their life together, but their father is being even more of an ass than usual, blaming his wife’s disappearance sometimes on himself, sometimes on his children, and sometimes on VFD. This mentioning of VFD causes the Edvardson Children to try and find out more about it, and they only get back the code “If nothing was out there, then what was that noise?”

The second kick-off point is when Klara actually uses “If nothing was out there, then what was that noise?” and the Edvardson siblings are promptly kidnapped by VFD and put into training, thinking their father perished in the fire VFD set and that their mother didn’t really care. They were developed in their talents, and each proved valuable, but they were pretty miserable.

So one day, Klara and Alex decided to bolt, thinking that Alice and Oliver would follow. Alice, who bought VFD’s charade hook, line, and sinker, didn’t even bother trying to escape, and Oliver was held back by hearing about the plan too late. Klara and Alex promptly ran into the fire-starting side, who kept them around solely because they were good leverage and decent workers.

Alice, for her apprenticeship, was put with Montgomery Montgomery, who treated her nicely and generally acted like the father she never had, and she became one of the primary caregivers of his various reptiles.

Oliver was given over to Jacques, which wasn’t really a good choice. Not because Jacques was mean, just because he was an annoyingly cryptic chaperone who never let Oliver in on anything and was just super underwhelming, though he did do one thing. He told Oliver that his mother was alive, which he relayed back to Alice to her delight and shock.

Klara is thrown in with Esmè, as they all agree that giving Olaf any kid at the moment would be pretty bad, even for their standards. Esmè “hires” Klara, and basically uses her as her maid/valet/secretary. Klara uses her fact over feeling mind to simply act like a robot when Esmè’s watching, and then try doing things her own way when she’s not around. Mostly hanging with Jerome, who she saw as her rock while all of this was going down.

Alex is thrown with Ernest in the hotel and is also treated like a worker, although is treated a bit more nicely due to Frank and Dewey being around. He also manages to see his mom sometimes, which is nice. He has conflicting feelings but is just grateful one of his family members are around and willing to talk to him. He sends out telegrams and is actually in a bit of regular communication with Alice for a week, until the machine is broken - possibly by Ernest - and he can’t send anymore. In the grand scheme of things, this wasn’t a huge change, and it’s better than being treated like a worker or a five year old, but still.

I just really want to write about these guys and their interactions with the Bauds and Quagmires and how their perspective on everything impacts the story!!

I just realized this was more of an AU dump than a fanfic idea, rithanhsns im sorry

If y’all have any questions on this au/these guys, lemme know!!!

#jean.asks #thank u!!!

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 5 years

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The Quagmire-Baudelaire switch part 12

The Penultimate Peril

The Quagmires are in the taxi with Kit

She explains to them who she is and then they stop for brunch

She is like ”ok you need to be spies in this hotel” and gives them concierge outfits

However Duncan is kind of suspicious, ”Are you sure this is volunteering? Because it doesn’t feel like it.”

Kit assures him it’s volunteering but he still feels forced to do this

So they go in and meet Frank or Ernest

And like a minute in, three bells ring

Duncan goes to floor 3, Isadora at floor 5 and Quigley at the roof

Quigley encounters Carmelita and Esme in lettuce bikinis and he gets very uncomfortable by that sight

There is just them, though. This was because I forgot about Geraldine Julienne’s existence and I don’t want Nero here so... yeah it’s just them discussing their plan

”Oh! Concierge is here. Give that girl what she wants.”

When Carmelita asks for a harpoon, Quigley is very confused but he goes down to find one

When Frank/Ernest tells him to give her one, he considers not to and just go up and tell her he couldn’t find any

But then he hears Wrong!Wrong!Wrong!

Isadora meets Charles who is going to see his partner in the sauna

Isadora lowkey feels bad because she remembers what a terrible man sir was

Then she opens the sauna

It’s Jerome!

Isadora makes fireworks on the inside and kinda wants to tell her brothers right now??

Anyway she spies on them and gather some info

Then Frank/Ernest comes and forces her to help him set up fly paper

But wrong!wrong!wrong!

Duncan knocks on a door and Vice principal Nero comes out

He taunts Duncan because he looks like a school boy rather than a concierge

Anyway they go to the indian restaurant

But oh my god is that Hal?? Running the restaurant?

Duncan sees him talking to Frank or Ernest about something suspicious and investigate

Then Frank/Ernest sees him and drags him down to the laundry room

Oh so wrong!wrong!wrong!

The Quagmires tell each other what they’ve seen

”And yeah did you know Jerome and Charles are dating??”

”No one cares, Isadora, we have more important stuff”

But lowkey her brothers are exited about that fact too

But they are really confused how Frank and Ernest are on three places at once

But right as they think of it, someone they have missed for a long time comes inside the Hotel

JUSTICE STRAUSS!! <3

They have a happy reunion and she tells them everything: Why she is here, what’s going to happen, etc

Then she waves them goodbye

But the triplets can’t sleep

So they decide to visit the places they have been in today to see if that can help

But somehow, when they press all the buttons, the elevator starts to go beyond floor 0

The triplets walk out because they are like ”the fuck”

It looks like an underwater library?

And a silouette comes down with a rope

And the triplets first reaction is ”awesome!”

And they realise the Denoument brothers are triplets

Dewey is all ”I was expecting you, Quagmires.”

Dewey informs what is going to happen on tuesday and feel really confident telling all this

He also informs that Kit met Sunny and is helping her reunite with Violet and Klaus (because the mobile home is close)

Then they go outside and sUprIse it’s Olaf there

With tomboy Carmelita and her harpoon gun and Esme behind him

He tells them how Fiona and Fernald betrayed him because they stole the submarine and took all the kidnapped snow scouts with them

And then Carmelita begs him to teach her how to spit

And he, Esme and Carmelita argues

This is when the triplets snatch the harpoon gun from him

And Olaf just laughs at them and then...

He pushes the triplets, making the gun fall

Right at Dewey

”Kit...”

Everyone is horrified

People wake up

”I heard a noise!” ”What was that?” ”Is that Olaf?” ”No, it’s those Quagmires! I’ve read about them!” ”They look like my mom!”

And yes, the random character reffering to their mom all the time is here, because I love them

Anyway the triplets meet up with Strauss, who gives them some clothes and tells them that they are unfortunately going to be locked in a closet because of trial rules or something

”Can we use the bathroom first?” ”Ok, but quickly.”

They are in the closet, changing clothes

Isadora is a little happy since she finally gets to wear real clothes after wearing operation dresses or work outfits or disguises

They can barely get any sleep and instead just sit there and talk about life

After discussing all of the events that’s happened, they start to talk about more personal things

Isadora takes a deep breath. ”Hey guys... it may not be the best time but... I think I am...”

Quigley hugs Isadora and is like ”gay? We know, sweetie.”

”What??” says Duncan, being very confused to everything

”That is what you was going to say, right?” Quigley asks nervously

Isadora starts to cry, mostly because it’s so much that has happened but also because her brothers are so important to her

But she nods, smiling a little

”Hey, save some for the trial, Iss.”

The trial happens and everyone is blindfolded and it’s a mess

But they find their seats somehow

Justice Strauss talks with the most friendly voice to the Quagmires and asks them to tell the story when they are ready

The Quagmires take turns telling and it’s heartfelt and beautiful

Everyone claps, which makes the triplets almost forget their troubles

But then, the other judges order Olaf to tell his story

So he does, and the triplets realise how they aren’t that innocent either

Also in the middle of everything, everyone starts to cough and Esme starts to giggle all ”I PUT PEPPER IN THE SAUSAGES”

Everyone facepalms internally

Then everything is quiet and the triplets hear a muffled scream

So they have to peek

And chaos starts

”The Quagmires took of their blindfolds!” ”I knew they were liars!” ”My mom does that too!”

The triplets ignore them and follow Olaf down to the laundry room

Quigley starts to help Olaf break in, which confuses everyone

But Quigley tells them that it’s because the sugar bowl is not in the laundry room

Then Isadora suggests they should burn down the hotel, which no one really reacts to because Isadora often say things like that

But Olaf laughs and starts a fire

So they go up to the roof, screaming ”fire!” at everyone they meet

Justice Strauss doesn’t want to escape with them and tries to tell them what They’re doing is wrong

But the children hug her <33 and tells her they need to do this

Then they push the boat, with Olaf on board, over the roof

They manage to get stuck in large trees to ease the fall, and land perfectly in the water

Then they sail away...

Yes. The Penultimate Peril. I love it.

#asoue au #the quagmire baudelaire switch #the penultimate peril #justice strauss #isadora quagmire #duncan quagmire #quigley quagmire #count olaf

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virtualfindingsdocumented · 6 years

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Please do the character game for a certain author gentleman, one named after a particular adjective describing the flavor/scent of one yellow citrus fruit.

Hmm, I wonder who could you be talking about... XD

How I feel about this character

How do I feel? Good, very very good. As a character, Lemony Snicket is a genius idea and probably at least 80% of the reason I am even here. Really, how mindblowing it was for 13 years old me to see the fake name of the series’ author showing up inside the story, to see the seemingly random tangents become not so random and to see the two stories, the one narrated and the one of the narrator, becoming only one? That is genius, simply genius. In my whole life, I can count on my fingers the number of stories I have encountered that used their media so well.

I don’t make it a secret that I have a crush on him since my first read, and actually, he was my first character crush ever. There’s something very attractive about the whole mystery of him, the never seeing his face. And we get to hear him more than we hear any other character. We know he is smart, he is funny, he has a great vocabulary, he looks great in a suit... And don’t get me started on how sweet the idea of a man loving a woman like he loves Beatrice is (though now that I am grown up I can see that he desperately needs to let go, this is not good for him).

Crushes aside, he worries me because his constant state can be described as “not okay”. Someone send him help.

As a 13 years-old (ATWQ), he was a little shit. But the kind of little shit that 13 years-old can be, should be allowed to be. The exact reason why 13 years-old shouldn’t be given the responsibilities he is given in those books. As a twenty or something years old he was probably still a little shit (you know, the time in which he worked as a critic, was somehow involved in the theft of the cursed piece of teaset, and other dumb actions). I could write an essay about what I believe that made him become this way, and we all know he paid a high price for his mistakes.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Beatrice, the Kind Editor (when not thinking of him as some character we already know), Ellington when I’m in the mood (though I prefer it as non-romantic and I also have a theory/AU that they could possibly be siblings so), Beatrice and Bertrand (polyship), Beatrice and R (polyship; thanks Ash), Moxie, Olaf (as a past thing, or something unresolved, or pure sexual tension; thanks, tumblr), and I am open to hear and read stuff for any ship you offer me, honestly

(Also Sally Sebald has an unrequited love for him, because I said so)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Lemony & R, who I imagine to have a “close as siblings” relationship

Lemony & Ellington, which is the core of my monster fic. I plan on eventually writing more about them post-canon.

Lemony & the Kind Editor, independently if thinking of the Editor as a separate character or as someone we already know. That person obviously care a lot for him to keep working with him for so long.

Lemony & D, no words needed.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don’t see anything problematic in his investigation of the Baudelaire case. Maybe the fact that he didn’t do anything to help the children, but we don’t really know the conditions he was in when the facts happened. I personally believe he couldn’t have helped anyway because he too was in danger.

I also don’t see anything problematic in his relationship with the Beatrice. There are no indications he was possessive or too clingy or anything during the time they were together, and after the break up he tried to contact her only three times. One to reply to the last questions she asked him (and in that letter, he says that he understands why she can’t be with him and not even once asks her to change her mind), and two other times later to alert her of a danger. He mostly respects her wishes to not see him again and also respects her marriage. Not once does he bashes her or her husband. During all the books, they are only mentioned in a positive light. The only unhealthy thing here is that he spent more than 25 years unable to move on, but that’s hardly something he should be called out for.

I still imagine his voice as being the Brazilian dubs version of his voice in the 2004 movie.

I don’t know how popular or unpopular this is, but I believe that while his books were not completely accurate to the truth, it was mostly because he filled in some blanks on parts he couldn’t find much information about. Not to say that he didn’t lie in the books, but when he did it was either to 1- protect information that was still relevant at the time or 2- to censor himself out of the story. The book I believe he lied the most in was The Grim Grotto. He makes references to the sugar bowl being in the laundry, which is later revealed to be what Dewey wanted the firestarters to believe. And Widdershins did remember his name. Also, all the unanswered questions? Protecting information. He knows much more than he tells, but he can’t tell all he knows because his books could easily fall into the wrong hands.

(He didn’t find the fridge tho)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Happiness. Let him be happy. He suffered enough. He already paid for a lifetime of mistakes.

Moving on. We don’t know what happens after the last letter of TBL, but his letter to the editor seems to indicate he is working towards it, as does the fact that he published it and that he didn’t rip Bea’s card. I hope he moved on, not only from Beatrice, but from all the loss he suffered.

I also hope he could find a new family in little Bea and maybe the Baudelaires. The idea is just so lovely and that’s the ending I prefer to believe in.

I wish he managed to meet Kit one last time before or during TPP. I know it’s unlikely because in The End she believed him to be dead but. Let me just wish.

And therapy. He needs therapy. That would help him achieve the three first items on this list too.

#hcs #i love my man #I could go on for hours #my freaking favorite characters #lemony-warburton

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jacquessnickets · 7 years

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If I’m not mistaken this ASOUE meme was made by @lastchancegeneralstore, so a quick thanks to them for the opportunity!

Favorite book in the series: The Miserable Mill, believe it or not. Far be it from being the best book in the series, of course, but I’ve got a very soft spot in my heart for it.

When did you read them for the first time: I must have been about 13, because I was in middle school when I really got into it for the first time. Funnily enough, I never actually made it through the whole series -- I got to maybe the first couple chapters of The Grim Grotto, kinda figured out the rest of the story from various online sources, then forgot everything that happened in each book until I finally read them all properly. If I could go back and do it properly, I definitely would.  

Favorite character: Jacques Snicket has stolen my heart. Other all-stars include Charles, Hector, and Uncle Monty.

Kit/Dewey or Kit/Olaf: Kit/Dewey 100%. A good way to make me sad is to remind me that she kept talking and asking about him in The End without knowing he was dead.

Favorite Quagmire: I like all three, though Duncan seems to be sort of underappreciated compared to his brother and sister. Therefore, I shall pick up the slack.--

 Favorite Baudelaire: I like all three of them too! I’ll say Klaus because he’s so salty and sassy but at the same time I think he cries the most out of all three kids, and I can appreciate a child character who behaves in ways a child might despite his maturity and intelligence.

 Favorite Snicket: Jacques, naturally. ;y  

Did you see the 2004 movie in theaters: No, though I saw it pretty soon after it came out on DVD. I mostly remember the ads for it playing on Nickelodeon.

 Thoughts about the movie: I think it’s enjoyable enough as a standalone film, but as an adaptation of a franchise it was a little sloppy. The allusions to VFD are too scarce for a fan of the series to enjoy and too vague for newcomers to understand, and Carrey’s performance was really overhyped in commercials and was played much more comedically than I think it needed to be. Overall it could have done much better, but it wasn’t so terrible I wouldn’t watch it again.

 Favorite quote: From Who Could That Be At This Hour?: "If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet.” because sAME

Have you ever met Daniel Handler: No, but I would love to.

 Thoughts about ATWQ: IT’S SO GOOD. Like ASOUE was a great series I enjoyed very much, but ATWQ is different in its style and substance that it’s a nice combination of fresh and familiar. 11/10 would read again

Favorite ATWQ character: I love so many of the characters, but if I had to choose a number one spot it’d be a three-way tie between Moxie Mallahan, Dashiell Qwerty, and Jake Hix.

 Favorite moment in ASOUE: Oh there’s definitely a few. Klaus saving Charles from the saw, Friday telling Olaf off and the other islanders not buying his disguise, any time an adult was kind and gentle to the children, and Kit driving like a maniac then casually mentioning her pregnancy are some good ones. One I wouldn’t say was quite my favorite but one that was definitely impactful was Dewey’s death. I had been reading the series over Skype to my friend, and it was the first time I’d ever read through the series in its entirety when I finally got to that book. I knew it was coming, I knew how and when and why it was going to happen. And yet, as the words started leaving my mouth, I could hear and feel myself getting choked up over a guy I’d known was a goner for years. I didn’t cry, but it was the only moment I really got physically emotional over something that happened in the series.

 Would you ever get an eye tattoo: This is the only tattoo I have ever seriously considered getting.  

Fire-fighter or Fire-starter: Fire-fighter, if only to be the really edgy morally ambiguous one who has no issue suggesting we just assassinate the villains who pose a legitimate threat to people.

 Least favorite character: Is Poe a cliche answer? I don’t care, that guy sucked. Dishonorable mention goes to Stew Mitchum.

 Did the Quagmires survive: YES, EVERYONE IN THAT HOT AIR MOBILE HOME DID  

In your opinion, what is the great unknown: It’s very tempting to think it might have been the Bombinating Beast, though another interesting idea might be that it’s some sort of submarine. After all, having the Quagmires, Hector, and the Widdershins reuniting just to get gobbled up by some sea monster seems a little lame.

 Did you like the way the series ended: I do wish a there had been more loose ends tied up, but I like how the ambiguity gives us opportunity to imagine where the Baudelaires went from there. The Beatrice Letters does a very good job of giving some slight insight as to what happened after they left the island, but not enough that we have any clear, concise answers.

 What question do you most want answered by Handler: In the series proper and especially in ATWQ, there’s a lot of focus on Lemony’s relationship with Kit. Yet not nearly as much attention is paid to Jacques; the narrative of his death is kind of gleaned over in comparison to Kit’s, and he doesn’t even show up in ATWQ outside of sparse references. So my question is, what was the nature of Jacques and Lemony’s relationship both in childhood and adulthood? Jacques and Kit? How did his death affect them?

What are you most excited for about the Netflix series: MY SERIES IS FINALLY GETTING A PROPER, COMPLETE ADAPTATION  

Binge watching or spacing out the episodes: I binged. I was a caveman for 8 hours the day it premiered. I will binge again when the second season is released.

I tag: @stuckonswan because she’s the only friend of mine regularly on here who has read the whole series--

#asoue meme #asoue #atwq

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unabashedlyspookycolor · 7 years

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Hello, everyone! In celebration of the approaching release date, @lastchancegeneralstore has made a tag/ask thingie with questions about everything Snicket! Our hope is that this makes it around to as many volunteers as possible so that we can all get to know each other better and celebrate together!

Favorite Book in the Series: The Hostile Hospital

When Did You Read Them for the First Time: My mother bought the first book for me when I was around 7 or 8, and I got hooked.

Favorite Character: Violet

Kit/Dewey or Kit/Olaf: Kit/Dewey (mostly because I liked Dewey myself, and was sad when he died).

Favorite Quagmire: This is a tricky one. All three are really cool. It might be a tie between Isadora and Quigley, with Duncan super close to catching up.

Favorite Baudelaire: Violet

Favorite Snicket: Lemony!

Did You See the 2004 Movie in Theaters: Yes

Thoughts About the Movie: Mixed bag. One one hand, the music is wonderful, the actors playing the kids did a good job, Meryl Streep was hilarious and Jude Law’s voice sometimes still reads my favorite Snicket lines in my head. On the other, there was the mushed mess of a story and Jim Carrey bouncing off the walls. Generally I don’t hate it as much as I used to.

Favorite Quote: A tie between “A good library will never be too neat or too dusty, because someone will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and reading them” and the “in the dark” spiel.

Have You Ever Met Daniel Handler: Sadly no. I continue to live in hope, though.

Thoughts About ATWQ: Loved it!

Favorite ATWQ Character: Moxie

Favorite Moment in ASOUE: Violet coming up with an escape plan despite being off her tits on anesthesia. Also Sunny’s lampshading of the group dynamic in The Grim Grotto (”COOK AND TEETH.”)

Would You Ever Get An Eye Tattoo: I keep considering it, and also keep chickening out. Maybe one day.

Fire-fighter or Fire-starter: Fire-fighter (mostly because I don’t know how to light a match correctly. The villains would call me a weenie and I’d be picked last for everything.)

Least Favorite Character: Mr. Poe. Screw that guy.

Did the Quagmires Survive: Yes. Yes they did.

In Your Opinion, What is the Great Unknown: A symbol for all the unsolved mysteries life will never solve.

Did You Like How the Series Ended: I appreciate it a lot more now than when I was thirteen.

What Question Do You Most Want Answered By Handler: Who is the Brae-Man, Beatrice’s co-star in TBL? (If anyone else knows or has a guess, this has been bugging me for years. I have anagrammed myself out.)

What Are You Most Excited For About the Netflix Series: Hearing those dedications and getting a bunch of new fans to hopefully talk to.

Binge Watching or Spacing Out the Episodes: Space out just due to all the excitement breaks I’ll probably take.

I Tag: any volunteers out there who may not have gotten this! Hope to meet new friends!

#a series of unfortunate events #ask meme #this was fun

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