#this is my one true love i can't get away from it.......

[trans-axolotl]

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

#personal #suicide tw #suicide mention tw #psych abuse tw #psych ward tw #ok to reblog if u want #psych abolition #mad liberation #psych survivor #it's a lot of grief hours over here and will be for a while all week i think #lots of grief so many ways this year for so many people #but this week. his memory . my grief for him #is hitting especially hard. i think partially because of all the transitions in my life. i'm graduating college. he will never become an ad #adult. #i think i might ask my roommates if they will go do something to remember him with me. maybe making origami cranes and sending them off in #the river. or writing things down and burning them #idk. grief is hard #six years in grief is different. but hard

[tiyoin]

Hiii this is the first time I’ve sent in an ask so I’m a little nervous but your work especially twisted anxiety🌀 just makes me feral❤️ (also feel free to delete this if I make you uncomfortable)

But twst🌀reader being good at sing has got me in a choke hold, it feels very princess coded lol

I mean 🌀reader has grim, so they have an animal companion, they can sing🎶, they have a ‘prince’ the twst boys+yuu and they have a curse! anxiety‼️

This idea has just been giving me so much brain-rot I had to share it with you<3, and don’t forget to take care of yourself because I know how hard making & writing is so have a nice day/night

WELCOME ANON 🫶

and dont worry!! im not uncomfortable in any way, and I apperciate you looking out for my comfortably, truly.

and im so glad you like twisted anxiety!!🙈

but holy shit I never thought about reader being princess coded CAUSE YOU'RE SO RIGHT???

I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HASNT OCCURRED TO ME

THINKING ABOUT MANAGER 🌀 READER AT THE VDC FOR SOME REASON ATTRACTING ROYAL SWORD STUDENTS????

yeah 🌀 is very closed off, not looking at people in favor of the ground, hovering around other manager yuu and the rest of the nrc squad.

but that just makes the rsa students go 👁️👁️

reader is freaked out and starting to get paranoid that everyone is watching them and that there must be something wrong with them. is there something on their face? does this uniform make them look fat? is there sweat stains on their back?? arm pits?? oh god can they see their underwear?? and they're clinging to yuu like a life line

(yuu doesn't mind because they're just happy that reader is clinging to them so yuu can keep an eye on them hehe🤭)

of course vil sets reader off to cool down because he can't have their manager bring anxiety to the rest of the performers. so they go to get food!

until they bump into an rsa student...

"oh sorry, I didn't see you there!" all while they're staring at you like this:

LIKE SIR BACK AWAY!!

reader coming back to the vdc crew with a thousand yard stare as they're clutching a churro.

OR

going back to singing reader,

maybe they're in their little hiding place the woods just letting their feelings out. maybe they go a little too far and wonder onto RSA property (hypothetically because I dont know how far away the schools are. but if it's far... they take a magical little short cut that chenya uses to sneak on over 🤭)

or maybe rsa guys are doing a 'test of courage' and are sneaking tot he woods of nrc. MAYBE THEY'RE EVEN PLAYING A SCHOOL PRANK TO START A PRANKING WAR-

but one of you are in the wrong woods and the rsa guys hear and see you singing. while yes, 75% of the population is some kind of nobility they know that there aren't any princesses here. especially on sage island.

but maybe you are?? because you're a girl, you're singing about true love, the animals seem to like you, you're wearing a.. dress? a robe, even. and you look so good 🙈

and when they see you- oh no! you saw them first!

its like the fucking hunt from snow white HASDBIWEUFB they're chasing after you and you're literally trying not to scream or cry

oh god everything is so much more amplified. and luckily you escape and race into ramshackle like your life depend on it (because it did.)

AND OH MY GOD YOU ALMOST GOT MURDERED!!!

but the rsa boys are gushing and spreading rumors of a beautiful ghostly girl who sings for her true love in the forest... BROTHER WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT???

so much lore to the twisted anxiety saga, and so little motivation to map and write it all out 😔

#ANON YOURE TRULY A GENIUS #CAN I POP THROUGH THE SCREEN RQ AND GIVE YOU A FAT SMOOCH #twisted anxiety 🌀 #twst x reader #tiyoin’s cuties 。 ඞ 。 #tiyoin 🔎 #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #ive lowkey gotta make a solid plan for twisted anxiety because ive just been going off of impulse HASHDAIUDB

[thelemoncoffee]

mmmmm Kokichi being forced to drop his evil asshole shtick to save his classmates in an emergency (ie something akin to the school catching on fire)

no thoughts just- it's something they have to act fast in and he either becomes a true monster and leaves a classmate in need of help behind, or he lets his DICE instincts take over and gets them to safety at the expense of his own. lil zest of angst if he got hurt in the process and now people are worried about him

i like the idea of this being an instance of Kokichi being a hero and Kaito short circuiting about it. Kaito does help in getting everyone to safety, but he's evacuating and not running into the danger to save someone trapped. Kaito can't wrap his head around Kokichi "dips every time hard work is involved" Ouma putting his life at risk for someone like that.

my idea for this is Kaito assumed when Kokichi was nowhere to be seen during the evacuation that he dipped and left everyone behind, then it's found out by a head count that Kokichi isn't present at all and neither is another student, they then find him and that student on the other side of the school with Kokichi injured and the other person passed out. Kaito now has to cope with the fact that one of the worst people he knows just did an act of heroism that he himself didn't have the guts to pull off.

i also love the idea of Kokichi preferring to be disliked and pushing away praise for his good deeds. like he gloats all the time about not that impressive bullshit, but the second he does something truely good and people call him a hero for it, he gets hella bitey. he gets super grumpy and strays away from everyone more than usual after this, hoping his cagey behavior will make people dislike him again so things can just go back to normal, but then Kaede has the AUDACITY to call his closing himself off "a Kokichi way of being humble". he's gonna fight her he swears (lies)

Kokcihi hating being heroic despite it being in his nature thanks to his time saving DICE's asses mmmmm

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #kaito momota #au #au prompt #au idea #kai prompts #chewing on this like a chewtoy

[wosoluver]

Forbidden Fruit

-> A thing that is desired all the more because it is not allowed

Lena x French!reader

Laura Freigang x French!reader

Lena was in town, due to a game she had against Bayern. So it was one of the few chances she had to hang out with her friends. After the game on Saturday the girls decided to throw a get together, that ended up in a wild party.

"Lena! I'm so happy you're here!" - Jule was the first to notice her arrive.

"Hey guys!" - she said happily.

"Soon enough you'll be here with us so, cheers to that." - Said Syd.

You were hanging out with the girls you were closer with in the kitchen while the others were in the dining room.

When you noticed a girl you knew, and that you unfortunately didn't know personally. She came in to grab a drink.

"Hey can I get you anything?" - You said it naturally as you usually were the one responsible for bar tendering for everyone.

"Just a beer." - She said giving you a smile.

And she thanked you quickly as you handled it to her. She had the most gorgeous chocolate brown eyes you had ever seen. She went back to wherever she came from, and you resumed your chatting and wine sipping.

A little while later, you left for the restroom.

As you here about to go in, Lena had come out.

"Hey, I think we haven't met yet, I'm Lena."

"I'm Y/N."

"I'm a fan, by the way." - giving you a wink you were not expecting.

"Why, thank you." - you said returning a smile. You both had a flirty semblance on at this point. But it only lasted a few seconds since you needed to use the restroom desperately.

"I really need to pee so, excuse me."

As you came out the bathroom, you decided to stop by the dining room.

"Hey love!" - Said Laura, your girlfriend. "Y/N meet Lena, Lena this is my girlfriend Y/N." - As she said that Lena chocked on her beer, trying to sort herself out best she could.

"We met in line for the bathroom just now." - you said it softly as Lena plastered a unsure smile on her face.

She knew who you were, but she didn't know you were dating her friend, differently from you, who knew who she was and who she was friends with.

In truth it hadn't even crossed your mind when you two had talked, it was so natural, it happened absentmindedly. And you meant no harm by it.

Or did you?

Obi knew it was terrible to admit that, even after knowing you were dating her friend, she still felt attracted to you.

"Well, I'm going back to the kitchen."

She had such an effect on you, that, that same night you dreamed of her.

What you didn't know was that, you were not the only one that was left shaken up, after the party.

That was until she dm'ed you on insta.

Couldn't sleep last night

Yeah me either.

Why didn't you tell me you weren't single?

Would that have made such a difference? Now you know, but you still texted me.

True.

I just can't get your smile out of my head.

Can't get your beautiful eyes off my mind either.

They are just brown?

Are you fucking with me right now?

They are the prettiest shade of chocolate I have ever seen.

No, but I really wish I was.

Lena!

I know, I know. I'm sorry.

After that, you two had become somewhat friends. And you both knew it was wrong. Mainly because you knew it had more to it, than just that. Even if nothing more had happened between you guys.

But once the Nation's League Semi final came up, you didn't know if you should be freaking out, that you were seeing Lena again, or if you should be freaking out that the only thing you could do was look at her and shake her hand.

Now it was Germany against France. And you tried to push your feelings away, and focus on the game.

Lena did the same, only she wasn't as successful at it.

The game was frenetic from the start, the atmosphere was hot and loud.

And it only got more intense as both teams denied each other of the first goal of the match.

But a the 41 minute mark, Diani made it 1-0 with an insane kick from the edge of the box after a free-kick from Bacha, that didn't go through the defense.

You all ran to celebrate, almost euphoric from how hard it was to score.

During the last few seconds of the added time, Oberdorf took Geyoro down on a promissory attack, inside the box, earning your team a penalty and herself a yellow card.

Karchaoui was the one to take the penalty. Frohms almost managed to stop the ball, but couldn't.

And it was another goal for France.

And thats when half time came. You could see the defeat expression in all the girl's faces. Including your girlfriend's. But instead of looking for her, to give her some comfort, you immediately went to Lena. You knew she most likely blamed herself for that one.

"Hey!" - You said hanging your arm around her shoulder. "If you hadn't stopped that ball, it would've probably been a goal. It was a lose-lose situation. At least you tried to do something about it." - you gave her the best smile you could, but it didn't do much for her. It didn't lessen the blame she felt.

The second half was equally as heated and frustrating for the germans until in the last 10 minutes, when an Henry handball gave them a penalty kick, Gwinn scored. They had so many close calls, almost managing the equalizer.

And as the game reached the end, for the first time ever, France had managed to beat Germany in a competitive match.

You tried giving Laura a hug but she just pushed you away.

"Not now, Y/N!"

That didn't go unnoticed by Oberdorf, who was already fuming.

"Don't treat her like that!"

"Oh shut up Lena! If you hadn't given them a penalty, we could of won."

"At least I tried doing something about it." - She repeated what you had said to her earlier.

"Something about what? The game or my girlfriend?"

"Don't start."

"You thought I didn't see you two eye fucking each other as you greeted?"

"You clearly don't deserve her, so."

By now they were full on fighting. The worse part was, everyone around heard it. You felt so angry and embarrassed.

"Laura stop! This isn't going to lead anywhere!" - Trying to calm her down.

"Oh of course you're defending her! You know what? Fuck the both of you! Fuck, get married, have kids! I don't care, we are over!"

Everyone around was a bit shocked. Including you. But soon the crowd dispersed.

"I'm so sorry about her."

"The way she acts is not on you. At least now we have her blessing." - ending it with a small laugh.

"Lena that's not funny." - you tried to hold it together.

"It kinda is, admit it." - you gave in and let out a laugh.

"You should be crying, you lost the game."

"Yeah, but I won you."

This one I'm pretty proud of! 🩷

#woso #woso x reader #lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #dfb frauen #laura freigang

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM THE TRUMAN SHOW (1998) *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary.

it isn't always shakespeare, but it's genuine.

i'm not going to make it. you're going to have to go on without me.

you're crazy, you know that?

well, for me, there is no difference between a private life and a public life.

it's all true. it's all real. nothing here is fake.

i have love handles?

in case i don't see you! good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!

what the hell is wrong with your job?

can't get any further away before you start coming back.

it's not that simple. it takes money. planning. can't just up and go.

i don't like the look of that weather. i think we should head back.

you're talking like a teenager.

we need adventure.

i thought we were going to try for a baby.

i might as well pick one of these up while i'm at it.

i almost hugged a perfect stranger in the salon last thursday.

you're just feeling bad because of what happened.

i've never blamed you. and i don't blame you now.

i made macaroni!

i've been such a klutz all day!

you're a better person than i am.

you know, [name], i'm not allowed to talk to you.

i can understand that. i'm a pretty dangerous character.

would you wanna, maybe, possibly... sometime go out for some pizza or something?

if we don't go now, it won't happen. do you understand?

we have so little time.

they don't want me talking to you.

i've never seen you before today.

if you don't tell me what's happening, i'll report you!

i think i'm mixed up in something.

you're going to get both of our asses fired, you know that?

just between you and me, i'm going away for a while.

i need to talk to you, but let's go outside.

can you pass along a message?

i'm sorry to keep you.

i guess i'm being spontaneous.

you're blaming me for the traffic?

i'm sorry. i don't know what got into me.

you want to destroy yourself? do it on your own.

why do you want to have a baby with me?

what the hell are you talking about?

you're having a nervous breakdown.

you're part of this, aren't you?

whatever the answer was, we were right together, and we were wrong together.

you're the closest thing i ever had to a brother.

i'd gladly walk in front of traffic for you.

the last thing i'd ever do is lie to you.

i never stopped believing.

let's get some champagne up here!

don't you ever feel guilty?

look at what you've done to him!

give me the phone.

was nothing real?

you never had a camera in my head.

i know you better than you know yourself.

#mcflymemes #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompt #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #rp starters #ask meme #ask memes #roleplay meme #roleplay inbox prompts #rp inbox meme #inbox prompt #inbox meme #sentence starter prompt #sentence starter #sentence starters #the truman show #movie prompts

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Flaws/imperfections of each main character

because we all have em'.

Dalv

pushes people away

clings so much to how things turned out in the past that he's unwilling to make new memories

as that one sweet corn said if you backtrack, he's a "mopey mope"

deff has OCD

not trusting

not friendly

unwilling to get out of his comfort zone

trusts his own judgement too much

he's literally me. I feel called out... thanks, Dalv. You're awesome ❤️

Martlet

unwilling to get out of her comfort zone

slacker

scatterbrained

bit of a dummy (I feel so bad for saying this; love you Marts! ❤️)

blames herself too much

anxious

not sure if she's depressed, but she DOES lack self-confidence and is a bit awkward at times

REALLY likes material comforts & nice things to the point where it was her main reason (besides not having to work too hard) for keeping the not-so-moral royal guard job (also mentions how she wants to steal jewels from the mines)

unsure of herself and her future

gives too many chances/a bit naive (to geno Clover)

trusts her own judgement too much (that getting a job as the royal guard was a good idea, that geno Clover is good deep down)

Starlo

INSECURE INSECURE INSECURE

doesn't love himself :(

kidnaps a child

overly enthusiastic to the point he literally "started a fire"

reckless (while North Star)

relies so heavily on his social image that he expects it to make him feel worthy (of love, admiration)

hides his quirks

a biiit arrogant (while North Star)

mischievous childish trickster (to Blackjack, maybe… unless Jack's role-playing the role of the "victim"; while North Star)

needs too much external validation

uses distractions to escape negative things/emotions instead of dealing with them

people pleaser

puts too much pressure on himself

ignorant (of many things such as horses and gumballs, but mostly of his and others' true feelings and desires) He just doesn't get that the others weren't having a good time, and that they wanted the old him back. He just doesn't get that all he did, he did because he doesn't like who he is and wants others to love him for his persona. Thankfully he realized it in the end

refuses to accept that he was being too much into this whole thing and instead turns to STATUS STATUS STATUS (more love, more admiration = getting his friends back)

hides his true self from the world

just wants to be cool

naive and foolish (don't even remind me of geno)

my boy's totally not perfect, gotta love him for it :)

P.s: holy heck he's the most flawed of them. Love you sm star 🌟 ❤️

Ceroba

manipulative

liar and hypocrite

pessimistic

blames herself too much

won't forgive (herself) and forget (what she did wrong)

stubborn

emotionally weak (sorry Cer, Star helps ya with this)

emotions and feelings influence her actions too much (praising Chujin even though he didn't win a prestigious award, injects Kanako the second she mentions how Chujin's dream could "come true" if she injects her, willing to brutally hit Martlet and Starlo and potentially kill them just for what she felt she had to do, aka kill Clover)

clings to the past too much/nostalgic of better times instead of making new, happy memories and letting things go (you can do this, Cer ❤️)

everyone

• willingly or unwillingly killed/almost killed a child

• ok guys, I really can't excuse this one. Sorry :(( I love you all tho :))

#uty #undertale yellow #uty dalv #uty martlet #uty starlo #uty ceroba #dalv uty #martlet uty #starlo uty #ceroba uty #ceroba ketsukane #I just HAD to compliment each of them #didn't include clover #mainly because the only thing they have to overcome is prejudice #and only seeing justice as black and white

[shawol-lisa-lee9]

TSC has been in my greedy hands for almost 48 hours now, and I managed to read it two and a half times already.

So many things to say about it, so little words I have to be able to do that. So, first of all

1) "Neil is such an unreliable narrator" not true, but can we talk about how Jean is just as much as "unreliable", but in a very different way? In the first three books we had a boy who cared so little about anything that wasn't exy (or Andrew) that he just didn't know/notice/cared enough to even acknowledge important things. In TSC we have a boy who knows SO LITTLE about anything in the World after being isolated for such a long time, that he sees everything through a distorted lens, and even when facts are right in front of him he just doesn't get it. They are not unreliable, they were forcefully taught to focus on things different than the whole picture.

2) Jean to me is so much a mixture of kevandreil it hurts me. He went through so much and yet gained so little it hurts. He has the same desperate will to live as Neil, the same "do what you want to me but keep X out of this" as Andrew (+ a lot of traumas), he has so many mental issues only Kevin can understand and a similar attitude. This not to say he's not "original", he's a very different person from the original trio, but he just... Has all of it. He combines other's main visible issues in one single person and it just hurts to see how much he's hurting but still wants and needs to carry on.

3) Neil X Jean scene at the end hits too hard on my heart. I do not presume to know exactly what my Goddess Nora was attempting to do with that, but my mind has found multiple possibilities on why Neil did what he did, and after all the times I read AFTG (which now amount to at least 35 rereads in a span of 3 years) only one has managed to grab my heart and never leave it. So, the main ones:

- As Jean thinks, Neil took care of Grayson because he is valuable in Ichirou's eyes, so Neil felt the need to protect Jean.

- Neil is aware of what Jean went through and is human enough to care for him, now that he knows he's not just a dick, and is willing to make sure Jean feels safe.

- Neil, being the person he is and having seen what Drake did to Andrew's mind, is not going to let Grayson do the same to anyone, especially someone he knows. As someone said here on Tumblr, "Neil is not gonna let a rapist alive if he can".

As I've come to understand the characters, for the first one, not even Neil is that cold that would just care about a person if they are valuable enough to him. In the second hypothesis, Neil is not the type of guy to just care that much about someone outside the foxes lot, but it's still a realistic idea, considering what Jean did for him in TRK. Third scenario, the most realistic and authentic one to me, he's not willing to let anyone get away with forcing themselves on another, even less if it's someone he knows and can do something about it. Which is also the reason why I'm obsessed with this scene and I would pay gold to see it in Neil's pov even when I know it's not possible.

4) Last point for this useless rant, CAN WE TALK ABOUT WYMACK? I swear to god that man is my absolute nightmare (in a good way), I just can't get over how much of a saint he is with those idiotic children he cares for + Jean. I just love him so much. He is rude and raw and can't be truly nice to save his life, but he cares, he cares about them with all his soul and he's not going to leave them alone when they need a helping hand the most.

I kind of wish coach Rhemann was like him, but at the same time I don't because a) if he was he would probably be at PSU, and b) I want him to be a completely different kind of dad to his boys and girls. (but I'm still going to cry on all of his scenes because that man is just too much for me (and for Jean), understanding but not pushing, being respectful of boundaries and "This was the belligerent stare of a man who’d haul Lucas out of there by force if Jean indicated he didn’t want to be alone with him.". )

So, yeah. I'm probably going to read it a third time tonight.

#all for the game #the sunshine court #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #jean moreau #david wymack #tsc spoilers #tsc

[midnights-dragon]

I see you like good omens and hozier... Whats your favorite hozier lyric(s) in relation to az (i cannot spell his name) and crowley :)

Oh god why would you do this to me /pos

Hrngg I refuse to pick one favorite. I have several. You will regret asking me this.

Okay. Well. So.

First and foremost, from I Carrion, Icarian. This song has always struck me as VERY Crowley-coded in general, specifically with its references to Falling, but these lyrics just punch me in the gut in relation to him; it very much reads as Crowley finding hope anew in Aziraphale after his Fall, finding something to be his home now that Heaven is gone to him; finding all of that in the angel he met on the wall of Eden.

And though I burn, how could I Fall? / When I am lifted by every word you say to me / If anything could fall at all, it's the world / That falls away from me

And then we have Unknown / Nth. UGH. Y'all. This song makes me bawl. These lyrics in particular sing to me as if it is Aziraphale reminiscing over how happy Crowley was as an angel, and how different he is as a demon; how far he is from his stars, and how much that makes his own light dim.

You called me angel for the first time, / My heart leapt from me / You smile now, I can see its pieces still stuck in your teeth / And what's left of it, I listen to it tick / Every tedious beat going unknown as any angel to me

These lyrics, contrastingly, sing to me like Crowley, doing anything and everything for Aziraphale and never asking for anything in return. And yet still feeling like he can't measure up to what HE believes is Aziraphale's idealized version of him; when, truly, the only thing Aziraphale wants back from Crowley's angel self, is for him to be happy again. To give him back the stars. (By the way - go look up the true meaning of this song, it's astounding.)

That I'd walk so far just to take / The injury of finally knowing you

SHRIKE. Y'all I have so so SO many feelings about this song but these lyrics. THESE LYRICS. They just SCREAM Crowley's confession. The words hung above / But never would form especially, and him feeling like it is his final cry to get Aziraphale to see how much he loves him, and how much he is begging him to stay, to be an us. And when Aziraphale 'forgives' him, Crowley becomes the shrike.

Coincidentally, shrikes are frequent hunters of serpents; as if Crowley is the shrike to his own serpent, and to Aziraphale's thorn. Impaling himself on it to be the shrike he THINKS Aziraphale wants. It's devastating.

The words hung above / But never would form / Like a cry at the final / Breath that is drawn / Remember me, love / When I'm reborn / As the shrike to your sharp / And glorious thorn

All Things End. THE final fifteen song. THE Crowley confession song, and THE KISS song. The EVERY song. Every lyric just screams Nothing Lasts Forever. They have never known a silence like the one fallen over them; they have never watched their futures darken in a single tear; they want it to go easy by being somebody's fault, but they've gone long enough to know that isn't what they want.

Just ... God, that entire song. It strikes right to the gut, and it is absolutely destructive in that way.

I have never known a silence like the one fallen here / Never watched my future darken in a single tear / I know we want this to go easy by being somebody's fault / But we've gone long enough to know this isn't what we want / And that isn't always bad / When people say that something is forever / Either way, it ends

Finally (even though I could go on and on and ON), we of course have Too Sweet, which Hozier arguably wrote while talking to a depressed, divorced Crowley in a bar. I don't even have a specific lyric; that entire song was sung by Crowley about Aziraphale, full stop. It's Hozier's version of Somebody To Love by Queen.

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK it was absolutely tortuous and I enjoyed every second of answering it. <3 I'm so glad you liked my quiz!

#tristen rants into the fucking void of nothing #hozier #good omens #asks #silly stuff #personal #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #hozier good omens

[coryothesub]

Coryo from the academy being bullied by his classmates, the reader defends him, but with other intentions *wink, wink*

Oh dear anon this is an idea I didn't know I needed but I legit fell in love with it! This is also my first time writing Academy Coryo and I really enjoyed it, he’s just so innocent I can't... 

nsfw / mdni / academy!sub!coryo / academy!dom!reader

You were on your way to the library when you noticed a couple of girls taunting Coriolanus Snow in the hallway.

He was a year younger than you and you didn't know much about him except for the obvious fact that he was cute. And apparently he had some money problems because the whole conflict was about some extra food he had taken from the cafeteria for later.

“I knew it!” Valentia Frost looked upon him with an evil grin waving that goddamn sandwich in the air.

“Look at this little snob trying to act like he's one of us, but the Snows are actually a bunch of hungry beggars. So pathetic!”

Coriolanus stood by the wall completely frozen clutching at his textbooks. His face was flooded in red and you noticed tears welling up in his big blue eyes. He looked as if he was about to die from embarrassment and you suddenly felt sorry for him. Luckily you had the reputation of a menace after you had knocked out the biggest guy in your class when he tried to put a frog down your shirt.

“Leave him alone Valentia!” you shouted at her across the hallway. “The boy just wants to eat.”

“What are you his chaperone now?” The mean girl looked annoyed by your interference but she was also hesitant to push your buttons.

You approached her and stood dangerously close.

“Just fuck off!” You hissed and she reluctantly walked away, her clique following her immediately.

You grabbed Coryo by the hand and dragged him into an empty classroom nearby.

“Here you can eat your sandwich in peace.”

“T-thank you,” he said quietly, still looking terrified and embarrassed.

You approached him slowly and he started stepping back until he was stopped by an empty desk, he felt it pressing against his rear end and started leaning back as he felt your hot breath mere centimeters from his face.

“Don’t rush to thank me yet. Do you really think I'm done with you already?”

“I-I don't have any money…” Coryo confessed, his face bright red with shame.

You almost couldn't believe how innocent he was. He literally thought you were gonna make him pay for protection as if you were some kind of mob boss.

“I don't need your money, blondie,” you cooed and let your hand wander under his uniform kilt touching him rather inappropriately.

Coryo's mouth flew open as he slowly started to realize what were your true intentions.

It looked like he was trying to say something but words weren't coming out of his mouth, he just stared at you, his big baby blue eyes wide with shock.

You kept palming him for a short moment, then stopped abruptly.

“Of course, I’m not gonna do anything you don't like.”

The loss of contact elicited a soft whine from Coryo's lips.

“No, no, please…” he suddenly regained the ability to speak.

“Please what?” You teased, it was so arousing to see him all bushy and ashamed like that.

“Please continue… I did enjoy that.”

You leaned even closer to him, your lips lingering just near his.

“Okay then,” you whispered, causing his breath to hitch.

You let your lips press against his in what turned into a gentle kiss. You thought of it as pretty chaste, but Coryo almost jumped when he felt your lips on his.

Could it be possible that he hadn't even made out with a girl? The thought alone caused wetness to pool up in your panties.

You gave him a flirtatious smile and started unbuttoning your uniform jacket and shirt, revealing that you were wearing a pristine white bra. Without hesitation you pulled your titties out of the lacy fabric making Coryo gasp at the sight.

“Do you like what you see, Coriolanus?”

“I-I think you can call me Coryo now,” the boy was barely able to get the words out.

“You have beautiful breasts. May I…?”

Instead of an answer you took his hands and placed them on your tits. Coryo started fondling them carefully, his thumbs circling around your nipples, which were getting hard under his touch.

Enjoying his warm and soft hands on your skin you unzipped your uniform pants and let them fall freely on your neat shoes, followed by your panties.

You sat Coryo on the side of the desk and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, then got his kilt out of the way and slowly lowered yourself on his bulge, letting out a soft moan at the feeling of your naked wet pussy pressing against the raw fabric.

Coryo watched your movements in awe, his eyes widening at the sight of your bare cunt landing just above his aching cock. He wanted to fuck you so badly but you had decided to leave that for later.

You knew his virgin cock wouldn't be able to take it for too long so you started rubbing your dripping cunt against his hard-on slowly grinding your hips back and forth.

Coryo let out a cute little whimper and you echoed it with a moan finally feeling a little relief for your aching pussy.

“So responsive, baby, so hard for me already,” you whispered against his lips before catching them in another kiss. Coryo kept making the cutest sounds that vibrated against your mouth as you kept rubbing yourself on him making circular movements to get some friction for your clit.

The blonde boy moved lower leaving a trail of soft warm kisses down your neck and wrapping his lips around your nipple. He sucked on your titties hungrily as you dug your fingers into his soft blonde curls and tugged on them gently feeling your climax slowly approaching.

You sped up your movements grinding yourself against his rock hard bulge with full intensity feeling your wetness overflowing and staining his red uniform pants. The friction felt so damn good that it brought you over the edge and you threw your head back moaning loudly as you came all over his clothed cock.

You grabbed Coryo's face and kissed him roughly feeling his whole body trembling as he came inside his pants. The boy's mouth fell open and you licked along his lips and tongue as he savored his orgasm, probably the most powerful he had experienced yet. 

After climbing off Coryo's lap you looked at him with a satisfied smirk. The boy's pants were completely messed up, both from his cum and yours, he sat there panting heavily, his face flushed and hair disheveled. He looked so pretty like that.

“Look at all the mess you made,” you mused. “Turns out you're a little whore, Coriolanus Snow.”

Coryo had no arguments to refute that. The shade of red filling his cheeks only got a bit deeper.

“Are we going to do this again?” He asked, looking at you curiously.

You smiled at him and adjusted his kilt, hiding the big wet stains on his pants.

“Of course darling, I’ve still got a lot to teach you after all.”

#thank you for the ask #coriolanus snow #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #thg #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #thg tbosas #blurb #cts ask

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Twenty Six}

Alastor x (Fem)Reader

It had been a few weeks after that wonderful day. Alastor and I had decided to keep our new relationship just between us for now. This all happened so suddenly, we were still trying to catch up ourselves. We didn't think we wanted everyone to know so soon.

Or anyone else at that, especially the overlords of Hell. If they knew, it could bring trouble to both me and Alastor. So for now until further notice, this relationship would be our little secret.

Though, Alastor found it hard to contain himself. He was around me before, but now, he was practically tied to my hip. He would always stand so close to me around the other, and when no one was paying attention, he'd let his hand rest on my lower back comfortingly. Aside from little things like that, we wouldn't make much effort to be so publicly affectionate.

However, when it was just the two of us. Things couldn't have been sweeter. Alastor would always have his hands on mine, holding me close, which would turn into a slow dance between us.

Alastor would have loved nothing more to announce to all of Hell, his love for me proudly. But knew better than to do something so impulsive. So he kept his love private, and just for me.

I wasn't any better. I slowly grew more and more use to being in a relationship again, and I couldn't be happier. I had hoped I didn't come off as too clingy whenever I was around Alastor, though, he's never said anything about it. If anything, he welcomed it.

I was so touched to know he trusted me enough to be so intimate with him. He never once rejected my touch, as he would for a stranger.

I trusted him as well. To never betray my love, to never hurt me. And so far, he's been nothing but loyal and true to his word.

"Y/n? I have a question for you." Alastor says as he turns away from his radio set up. "Yes?" I ask, approaching him. Alastor rests his hands on my hips, a kind smiling forming on his lips. "I know this might come off as sudden or improper but...How would you feel about moving in with me?"

"Move in with you?" I repeat. "You want me to move in with you?" I couldn't help but smile. "I do." Alastor hums swaying me slightly, in an almost waltz fashion. I giggle. "If you wouldn't mind it, I would be happy to."

"Oh, my darling." Alastor pulls me closer to him. "Of course I don't mind. I'll have whatever you need moved right away."

"I just have one request." I tell him. "What's that?" Alastor asks. "Make sure your shadow friends respect my privacy." I say jokingly. I had gotten the chance to become familiar with Alastor's shadow, and learning there were plenty more shadows and minions creeping around unseen. Ready to be summoned at any moment by their master.

Alastor chuckles. "Noted."

"Good." I say before resting my head on his chest. I then let out a light sigh. "Is something the matter?" Alastor gazed down at me with a questioning look. "Just thinking..." I mutter. "About what?" Asked Alastor. I take a moment before answering.

"How I wished it was you I met when I was alive, instead of him..."

Alastor hums. "I don't think you'd want that. I wasn't a good man, you know. I believe I've told you of my hobbies in my living days."

"I guess." I shrug. "Would I have been one of those unfortunate souls you enjoyed hunting?" Alastor takes my chin with his fingers, and gently made me face up at him. "I would have perused you, yes...But not for the reasons you're thinking." I let out an airy laugh. "How romantic."

"I am an expert at it, after all." Alastor says jokingly. "You're not too bad." I start. "You're treating me quite well, for someone who's never been in a relationship before."

"Well, I feel it's common sense to treat your partner with love and respect." Alastor chuckles.

"A lot of people don't know that." I say. "Thankfully, I managed to find someone who does. Even if he is a murderous, cannibalistic, demon from hell."

"It can't get much better than that." Alastor adds with a smirk. I laugh. "No, I don't think it does."

Later that day, Alastor had did as he promised and moved my stuff to his home. It was rather easy, considering he could do it with just a snap of his fingers. I was happy to start living with Alastor. I'd always be with him now, I'd get to see him everyday. And I didn't have to hide my true appearance anymore.

At least not while I was staying there. Leaving the house and going to the hotel was a different story.

I removed my necklace and looked into the mirror. It's been a minute since I've seen my real self. As I transformed, a few of my feathers fell from my wings. "Again?" I ask myself. I run my hands through my wings, a few more fell out into my grasp. "What is going on?" I mutter.

Alastor then walked into the room. "Hello, my baby!" He greeted me in a sing-song fashion. He then noticed the confused, and slightly concerned, look on my face. "Is something wrong?" He asks, approaching me.

"My feathers are falling out." I answer, showing him the few feathers in my hand. He took one and examined it. "How odd. Do angels molt?" He asks. I shake my head. "No. Maybe...it's stress? But, what could I be stressed about?"

"Well, this is a big step in our relationship. Perhaps you're a little anxious, moving from one place to another." Alastor suggests. "I guess?" I say with a shrug. "I'm not going to worry about this. It might make it worse if I do." I sigh.

"It's probably best if you didn't. For now at least. But in the meantime..." A mischievous grin formed on Alastor's face. Before I knew what was going on, I was being lifted up and carried to a near by love seat. I was sat on his lap, as he held me close.

"I demand affection!"

"But I need to finish unpacking." I protest. "Later." Alastor said simply before gently pressing my head to his chest. I roll my eyes playfully before snuggling into him. "You're lucky I love you."

When I felt Alastor tense is when I realized what I had just said. My eyes went wide and my heart stopped a second before picking up. I open my mouth to say something, but Alastor beat me to it.

"You love me?"

His tone of voice when he asked that, was one I never heard from him before. Quiet and unsure, as if he heard me wrong, or that I didn't mean it.

My face was hot, my heart racing. Guess there was no taking it back now. Not that I would. I did mean it after all.

"I do." I say softly, looking up at him. "I know that might be sudden, but, I really do love you Alastor. You make me so happy."

Alastor leaned down to plant a kiss onto my head. "I love you too." He says quietly. I smile brightly before taking his face with my hands. "Then kiss me properly." I laugh. Alastor didn't hesitate to do just that.

After a minute or two, we parted. Alastor just stared at me for a while, his eyes held mine in a soft gaze. "I'd love you in just about any form my dear, but the real you..." He took my hand and kissed it. "You take my breath away."

"Alastor, you flirt." I say jokingly, trying to ignore the heat pooling in my cheeks. "It's true." Alastor says, kissing my wrist next. He then left a trail of kisses up my arm, to my shoulder. "Anyone would be a blind fool to disagree." I was sure my face was red now, steam might as well have been spouting from my ears.

He kissed up my shoulder to my collar bones, then to my neck. It wasn't a sexual gesture, Alastor has made his feelings clear about things like that. No, this was a gentle and loving gesture. Just as passionate, just as intimate.

"Alastor..." I sigh softly. "Mon chér." Alastor whispers.

The moment was suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door. Alastor drew away from me, alert, as he held me tight. His shadow then formed next to him. "Go see who it is, and come right back to tell me." Alastor instructed. The shadow nodded before sinking into the floor once again.

"Alastor? What is it?" I ask in a hushed tone. "No one should know how to reach this place..." He answered, eyes narrowing in suspicion. Within seconds, his shadow returned. "Well?" Alastor prompts.

His shadow spoke, I couldn't understand what it was saying. Though Alastor knew, as his expression turned from cautious to slightly annoyed. "I see." He mutters. He then sets me aside on the love seat before standing.

"Apologies, my love. I'll be right back." Before he left, he summoned my necklace and handed it to me. "Just in case." He says before walking away. I put the necklace on, and watched in confusion as he made his way out of the room.

Alastor walked to the front door and opened it, he looked down to see a familiar face. "Hiya Al!" Standing before him, was his oldest friend. "Mimzy." He greets simply. "How did you get here?" He asks. Mimzy raises an eyebrow before sighing. "Figures, you wouldn't remember." She says with a roll of her eyes. "You brought me here after getting drunk off your keester. Remember? You tried teleporting three different times, before you came back to my lounge and whined for me to help you home?"

Alastor's grin strained, his eye twitched slightly. "Ah...I see..."

"And speaking of getting drunk, I brought your favorite!" Mimzy takes a bottle of liquor from her purse and handed it to Alastor. She then walks past him into the house. "You would not believe the night I had." She starts to ramble. Alastor accepted the situation and closed the front door, following and listening to the shorter woman.

"This bum thought he could pull a fast one on me, and not pay for his drinks. Well, I told him otherwise and and had Vinny and Johnny take care of him. Got my money alright, and even a hefty tip."

She goes on. "Al, I just don't understand it. Where did all the gentlemen go? Huh? It seems like you're the only one with any class! All these losers down here ain't got nothing better to do than to try and scam and disrespect a poor little lady, such as my self!"

Alastor hummed, barely paying much attention as he walked with her.

"Alastor? Is everything alright?"

Alastor and Mimzy turned their attention to me. I was standing in the doorway of the living room, when my eyes landed on the small flapper girl. Who was this?

"My, my Al!" Mimzy looks to me then to Alastor. "And here I thought you weren't about this kind of thing." She approaches me. "Hiya, the name's Mimzy. Who might you be, doll?"

"Y/n." I answer. "Y/n, what a pretty name. Now tell me, what in hell have you been doing hiding from me all this time? The the first I hear Alastor's found himself a woman, and I'm only just now finding out." She then turns to Alastor.

"And you Al, how could you not introduce me sooner?"

"Y/n." Alastor starts. "This is Mimzy, I believe I've told you about her." Ah. So this was that Mimzy.

"You have, have ya?" Mimzy smirks. "Better be all good things." I nod my head. "Yes, all good things." I confirm. "And, things that the police wouldn't like hearing." Mimzy's eyebrows shot up. "You told her?" She asks. "I want no secrets between us, of course I told her." Said Alastor.

"I can't say I'm fine with it, but, I know better than to worry about Alastor hurting me. And, really he's done nothing but help me since I arrived in Hell. He's even protected me against someone that shall not be mentioned." I tell her.

"Mhm." Alastor hums lightly. "Y/nhas been rather pleasant to be around. As you might imagine, we didn't click at first. But now, there is no separating us."

"I dare anyone to try..." He says with a static filled growl.

"I never thought I'd see the day." Mimzy murmurs. "Alright Al, you better take good care of her. You too missy. Al is a good friend of mine, I don't want his heart getting broken." Alastor walks to my side and wraps an arm around my waist. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Same here." I say, leaning into him.

"Oh, aren't you two just the cutest!?" Mimzy squeals. "Oh, we have got to get together some time! Maybe at my lounge?" She suggests. "That sounds lovely, however, we are keeping our relationship as private as we can. I wouldn't want any attention drawn to us, and create a potential problem." Alastor tells her. But Mimzy waves it off like nothing.

"I have private rooms just for that. Come on, you won't have anything to worry about!" She says, then looks at me. "What do you think, Y/n?" She asks. I give it some thought. "Well, it does sound nice. As long as you promise we won't be seen."

"Then it's a date! Consider everything taken care of, ya lovebirds!"

Tag List-

@krak-jj

@martinys-world

@cherry-cola-100

@wonderlandangelsposts

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #mimzy #hazbin mimzy #hazbin hotel mimzy

[kittyfuckincheshire]

💥 DIRTY TALK 💥 bakugo x reader

Smut,fluff,dirty talk,Slightly public. 18+ guys,and gals 😽

how it got started you were unsure,but he began teasing you more with his words rather than with his hands.

Some of the things he said embarrassed you,weather or not it was whispered in public.

Other things crawled down your spine tingling in your lower belly. Lust blocking with in you.

Your brain and body were surprisingly working together as he confused and teased you with his new cues and words.

Teasing you in public was one of his favorites. The dark embarrassed blush that came so quickly. He couldn't get enough of it.

"look at you (y/n).you a sweet good girl to everyone". Bakugo began,eyeing some of the crowd around trying to get you, eyeing around as well to see what he was looking at," it would really be a shame if I had to taint your Pyrenees in front of them~, now wouldn't it?

He'd whisper real close to your ear so only you could hear him. The easy his voice curled inside your head made something little in you alight with arousal.

"your looking really cute in that new skirt". "Would you mind if I take an look underneath"?,he purred innocently, how about I take my hand and make you feel good? Stroke your folds through these panties and make a nice wet spot with your arousal~.

Bakugo started scenes.in public sweetly, like he was complementing something about you but at the and it twisted with his deeper darker desires for you. but when you were at home his words were definitely out going,getting right to the point. Sometimes you wondered of he'd take you right there.

" that adds is looking mighty fine there (y/n). What's your secret?", he winked at you across the island bar in the kitchen, I think its your shaking those hips to the beat. Trying to seduce me~. Bakugo got up from his seat and rounded the kitchen island to get to you. Your little charm worked but backfired. "I'm gonna enjoy bending you aver this counter and taking this cute butt".

At times he kept his promise of pleasure. Making that ache of pleasure he started go away. But not for good no,no. You craved him more now because you can't get his words out of your head. And he brought you to the bedroom making things worse for your panties.

Hed give you Pat names. Calling you sweetheart,darling,princess and so much more.The way you responded to them only encouraged him further.

Bakugo also encouraged you to be loud and beg for him, and with the way he's been acting lately its not that hard.

" you live me this (y/n)?",When I fill you deeply?", make your brain mush and your body quiver just from one move. He asked you,not expecting an true answer He specially started thrusting into you from the behind while he whispers in your ear. What me to male you louder? To make you cry out with all those pretty moans and mewls that are ment for me?" I think you do~."

His words could reach vulgar and stressed as he tried to keep a talking as he made love with you.No longer keeping up that posh nonsense they some how made you wet and embarrassed no matter the setting. Underneath all that,there was the rough man you fell in love with a long time ago.

"Fuck",bakugo groaned,loving the way you felt around his cock," your pussy feels so fucking good around me like this. so tight and well...all for me~."

When he comes he's surprisingly quiet other than his usual short curses or groans.but his eyes tell a different story if your looking right at him. They're warm you from the inside out just as your climax over comes your being.

Bakugo accepted cuddles after sex,glad to have a break from the words. Going back to the "Actions Speak Louder Than Words" motivation. Though he whispered to you before you fell asleep or before you left the cuddly mindset.

"do you feel better sweetheart?" ill kiss every aching mark that I left on your body if you want", his voice soft and concerned for you. No longer set on arousing you.But making you fell loved more than anything.

hi guys I'm sorry this took so long its just been a really stressful week and I've been trying to get this done to so its just been long I have another on coming so plz bear with me. Bye😽

#bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #fluff #shameless smut #smut #public stuff #y'all know the rest 😸 #Pillow fluff

[riseninsaturn]

one day i’ll write an articulate post about why the gavin brothers are the most emotionally repressed people in ace attorney and maybe ever but in two entirely separate ways but as of right now whenever i think about that very concept i feel like screaming into a bottomless well so that idea is on hold

#saturn.txt #but you guys know the post right #the one about how the most emotionally repressed person is the one who #acts extremely friendly and shows surface level acceptable emotions #but never the true emotions underneath #you know that post right. you know klavier gavin right #klavier gavin who i can only imagine has perfected his emotions to a t #here is what he can get mad at here is what he can't #he can't cry unless it's picture perfect and he's always amicable for the right people #you know how kristoph gavin has the black locks right #how even at the end he won't talk about why he did what he did #THIS is why ic an't write either of these characters in a satisfying way #because they're so fucking complicated when it comes to emotions and and and #screaming at the top of my lungs only one of them will likely have the chance to open up again #but will he do it? would he do it? #how does klavier gavin even begin to untangle his emotions #did hiding them away from the world make them manifest in major outbursts? #does he just dissociate instead? what has happened what happened #rattling him back and forth #i love the other characters in AA but you cannot tell me that anyone is more repressed than the shit these two have going on

[rubberbandballqueen]

a kid at work was like "look at my stuffed animal!!" and i was like "ooooo" bc i love soft things n then she was like "would you like to hold it?" n i was like "BOY WOULD I!!" n then she was like "but he's been injured so i put a band-aid on him" n i was like "oh does he need to be sewn up?" expecting this child to have been like me n just put band-aids on her stuffed animals For Funsoes but then she was like "yeah :(" and showed me the hole n i was like "oh my god. would you like me to fix him up?" n so anyway i have now fixed up the giant gaping hole in her stuffed sloth hehe c:

#i hope to god the knot i made holds bc i'm worried it wasn't sturdy enough... #but i love love love to repair holes in things bc then i can do blind stitches n watching those close up is always so magical #it was one of those stuffed animals with the long fur so i had to cut a little bit away to get the band-aid off but the kid was cool w/it #and now i'm sitting in an office w a single kid bc he wants to read his book quietly. so true of him #the worm speaks #anyway it's also kinda funny bc i biked to work like 'god i hope they have things to maintain. i wanna do maintenance. i crave handicraft' #i just!!! really love handicraft!!! the act of creation!!!! and also doing detailed maintenance work!!!!! #the other day at work i wrote a poem w a kid but they had to go halfway so i finished it myself #all the kids but one were gone but my coworker made me banish my wip from the whiteboard bc it was riffing on a poem the kids #were just kinda repeating ad nauseum all day i guess so i finished it on a bit of paper #since all the kids were gone i started leaning into dark comedy n in the final line i rhymed twenty with 'cunty' so. LMAO #can't be sharing that one with the kids!! c':

[binnie]

i!!! hate!!!!!!! being borderline!!!!!!!!!!

#negativity incoming heads up #dude every little thing that happens gets me on edge and sends me down a spiral I absolutely fucking hate ths #the context is that my favourite person cancelled plans for us to hang out to go have dinner #(I didn't ask with whom because I know that either way I wasn't going to like the answer) #you see she's had a boyfriend for over a year and a half I think #and we get along! we've been buds since high school and he's a cool dude (except when he's not because men) #I know this is not true. I know it's my mind playing evil tricks on me. I know this is the voice talking. #but I constantly feel like she's slowly but surely replacing me #not that i'm the only friend she's allowed to have or anything I just.. #can't help but to think that there'll come a day where she's going to have to pick between him or me and she'll always pick him #she's always talking about how much she loves and how they're already making plans to live together and get married and shit #and i'm happy for her I genuinely am #but I feel.... i don't even know for sure #I feel like everyone's moving forward while I sit in the same place. I feel like I'm being left behind #truth is I feel very alone #I keep pushing my friends away because I'm a shit person and now would you look at that: i'm completely alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i'm isolated from everyone else and it's all my fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I have no one to blame for my misery but myself #I feel like I'm being consumed from the inside out #there's this awful evil tension inside me that I can't shoulder #i'm used to The Empty #I'm used to being hollow #but this emptiness.. it hurts #ive grown used to it #that's the worst part #if you're reading and you've made it this far I want to say thank you and also that I'm doing fine I'm just rambling #and wallowing in my grievances #ANYWAY #I have a lot of work to do because I neglected my academic responsabilities for months and now I must suffer the consequences lmao #this semester has been hell. ive humiliated myself a hundred times over in many different ways. i've disappointed a lot of people

[guidingsbolt]

motw game of all TIME!!!!!!!!

#i could make like six little tag essays from this session alone it had EVERYTHING #i don't even know what to START with #god. i am so glad riley survived. i'm SO glad. #will would've gotten so much worse if they had died.... #i said this in my little grouped chat but riley is will if she didn't have yaz #they were turned right around the same age as will on a silly little trip with their friends just like will and it was so soon after #will left the pack headinhands #i'm SO glad i rolled well on hunches i'm SO they lived because otherwise riley would just be a reminder of what could've happened to will #riley is my new best friend in the whole world will is gonna develop SUCH a complex about them.... #and we're coming up on the full moon griamce emoji #will's gonna have to be the one who is calm and in control because we can't have TWO #and i'm SO glad the fight went as bad as it did and beowulf didn't let will get the last word in i love mean hannah #we won but BOY did we earn it #all of will's fears about the pack are TRUE they are way too fucking strong to really take on they do want her dead in the ground #they're running around making new werewolves grimace emoji #man. will is pissed off #she's always hated beowulf but she was too scared and too guilty and trying so hard to repress any strong emotion that she didn't really #feel it i think #but YAZ almost DIED beowulf came into HER backyard and was trying to kill just a KID like her and he gets away with whatever he wants #if riley had died in the middle of that fight she might have tried to kill beowulf then and there grimace emoji #which. beyond the obvious problems with that would've caused a HUGE issue with PARCH #will doesn't care what parch says she knows beowulf and she knows what happened to her and she wants him dead and she'll do it herself #because she's angry! she's allowed to be angry! the angriest she's ever been about anything #and sure telling beowulf to fuck off had consequences but man it felt good #man. i'm delighted pleading emoji #ch: will #g: motw

[ohara-n-brown]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

#autism #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergency #neurodiversity #cluster b