#this site is a massive yikes

[noosayog]

[how a loser dates] ft. kuroo

warnings/content: fem! reader x kuroo, office setting, timeskip characters obvi, fluff and kuroo being a loser

wc: 1.2k

"Morning, princess," your coworker, Kuroo, calls out teasingly from his desk in reference to the dress you're wearing today that replaces your usual slacks. 

"Morning, rooster head."

He chuckles a bit and returns his attention to his computer. 

Throughout the morning, Kuroo looks up every now and then, just staring at you but saying nothing. It's only later in the afternoon when you're settled down from the rush of the morning that Kuroo asks. "What's the occasion?"

"What?" you ask distractedly.

"The occasion," he repeats. His voice comes from right over your head and you look up to see his desk empty. Instead, he's standing behind you, leaning an elbow against the wall of your cubicle.

"What?" you parrot.

His eyes drift deliberately down your silhouette, then back up to meet your gaze, punctuating his silent question with a raise of his brow.

"Oh," you laugh. "The dress? I have a date tonight."

Kuroo's other brow raises. "A date?"

"Yeah."

“With who?” 

You swivel your chair to face him with your whole body. “You wouldn’t know them. They’re not from work.” 

He hums in acknowledgment then walks away with a pensive expression. 

–

It’s almost the end of the work day when you hear your boss’s reprimanding voice. You look up from your computer to see your boss angrily saying something to Kuroo about losing the data for an important client call tomorrow. 

After your boss stomps away, you hear Kuroo sigh. His eyes meet yours. 

“You okay?” you ask. “What happened?” 

“I was supposed to store the presentation for tomorrow’s client call but for some reason, I can’t find it anywhere on my drive.” 

“Did you check your trash?” 

“Empty.” 

“Yikes.” 

“Yeah.” 

You stare back at him, lips pursed.

“Well…” he says awkwardly. “I better get to it if I’m going to redo the presentation by tomorrow.” 

You swallow guiltily, throat itching to offer help. No, you can't. You have plans tonight. 

“Okay, good luck,” you say instead. 

He deflates. “Thanks.” 

Concentration broken, you return to your work. You shift uncomfortably when you hear him sigh. 

Five minutes later, another deep exhale. 

You can’t stop yourself when you finally ask, “do you want me to help?” 

Kuroo perks up, head poking out from the walls of the cubicle. “I mean I would love help, but you have plans and all tonight…” he trails off. 

“The reservation isn’t until 7, so I’ll help until then.” 

“Great, thanks!” he smiles. 

–

Kuroo is an efficient worker. It’s almost as if he had the entire thing memorized as he effortlessly lists off the slides that need to be redone, easily navigating to the resources that have the perfect data for each topic. 

“It’s like you don’t even need my help for this,” you joke. 

“No!” he interrupts loudly. 

You give him a weird look.

“Sorry” he mutters. “Can you summarize the data from these sites?” 

He passes you a sticky note with 2 websites on them. When you navigate to them, they’re long, tedious pages. You settle into your chair and get focused. If you’re going to leave here by 6:30, you better get working. 

When you finally pass the data to Kuroo, the two of you begin to compile the data you’ve respectively gathered into the proper slide deck format. When 6:30 rolls around, the to-do’s left still make up a massive mountain. 

“Um,” you say. 

Kuroo takes an exaggerated look at the watch on his wrist. “Oh, your date.” 

“Yeah.” 

He looks at the progress on the presentation just stares at the screen.

“Kuroo?” 

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, don’t worry about me. You’ve already helped so much. Go ahead and have fun on your date.” 

“Okay…” you say hesitantly, packing up your bag. Before you leave, you look back to see Kuroo, alone in the office, leaning heavily against the back of his chair with his arms draped over his eyes. You hear him sigh again before guiltily leaving him behind. 

You make it all the way to the lobby before you can’t stand it anymore. You text your date that you won’t be able to make it rush back up to the office. 

Kuroo looks surprised when you drop your things off at your desk and return to his side. 

“What happened? Don’t you need to leave?” 

“I can’t just leave you here by yourself with all this, you’ll never finish.” 

“Are you sure…” he trails off. 

“Shut up and get working.” 

“Yes, ma’’am,” he salutes. 

– 

Late in the night, even after security has left the building, Kuroo gets up. 

“We need a break,” he says. “Want some coffee?” 

“Sure,” you say, equally exhausted. 

He gets up to head to the break room as you continue to fiddle around with the slide deck. As you look through his computer, your eyes slide to the little trash can on the screen and see that it’s not empty. Curiously, you click into it and the first thing you see is the very client presentation that the two of you have been slaving away at to reproduce. 

“Oh my god, Kuroo!” you say excitedly. You repeat his name, but he must not hear you, because there’s no response. 

Then, you notice the time of deletion. 3:52PM. You remember Kuroo getting chewed around 4PM. If he deleted it, there’s no way he would forget that quickly. And he said he had checked his trash. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Kuroo comes back, holding two steaming cups of coffee and tie thrown over a shoulder. “I heard you calling.” 

“Kuroo,” you say, pointing at the screen. 

When Kuroo sees what you’re pointing at, his smile freezes in place. 

“What’s this?” 

You press when he doesn’t respond. “Why did you purposely get yourself into trouble?” 

He stares at the screen, avoiding your eyes. 

“Kuroo!” 

“Okay!” he breathes. He mumbles something unintelligible. 

“... go on your date,” you hear. 

“What? Speak up,” you say irritatedly. 

“I didn’t want you to go on your date. Okay? I know it’s immature of me to resort to such tactics, but I’ve been dropping hints for awhile and I dunno, I guess I just got impatient.” 

You sigh.

“Well, I’m just glad that you aren’t going to be yelled at because there’s no way we were going to finish by tomorrow.” 

“You’re not mad?” 

“I am. Why couldn’t you have just asked me out on a date like a normal person?” 

“I’ve asked you to go on coffee runs with me?” 

You pinch at the bridge of your nose. “Being our boss’s errand boy does not count as a date, Kuroo.” 

He just chuckles, abashed. His cheeks are turning pink and you sigh, feeling almost affectionate at how your snarky, quick-witted coworker is reduced to the romantic maturity of a high-schooler in front of you. 

“Okay, well, since I didn’t get to eat tonight, you owe me dinner,” you say, throwing him a bone. 

He blinks. “Like a date?” he asks dumbly. 

You sigh exasperatedly for what feels like the millionth time that night. “Yes, Kuroo. A date.” you emphasize heavily on date, worried that he still won’t get the picture. 

“It’s late, so there’s probably only ramen shops around if that’s okay? But I promise to take you out to a nicer diner. Like a real date.” he promises solemnly. 

“You’re already assuming I’m going to want to go on a second date with you?” 

His signature grin returns in full force. “Oh, princess. You’re gonna want that second date. Trust me.” 

“Only ‘cuz I want to see how you tame your hair for a real date.” 

“Told ‘ya you’d want a second date.”

#noos writes #haikyuu #hq #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #hq imagines #hq fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #hq x y/n #hq x you #hq x reader #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro fluff #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo fluff #kuroo x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo x y/n

[marzipanandminutiae]

Not meant to be a dig or anything, but everyone quoted in that Ben Miller post is a massive TERF, and the comments are absolutely full of them. I figured it would be something you'd want to know, even if you agreed with the basic point.

yikes, thanks for letting me know

I do think it's true that a lot of shitty white men try to get misogyny past the radar by adding "white" in front of "women" when they're talking about something entirely unrelated to the- very real! -racial privilege we white women have. It's an example of weaponizing progressive language to say something awful under the guise of caring about an issue you actually don't give a damn about (you just want to be a bigot without consequences).

I also think some progressives act like misogyny has been fixed, or that it's Not Real Oppression somehow. And that's infuriating. Talk to me about heritage sites who try to Tell Erased Stories on their tours by discussing the queer men, working-class men, disabled men, men of color, etc. that lived in a given house (which, to be clear, is very important!)...and go right on ignoring the female inhabitants of the house just as much as the old Rich Cishet White Men-focused tours did.

Buuuut T*rfs can go jump in a lake.

#ask #anon #misogyny #sexism

[lmsr-lilitu-sephiroth]

I have thoughts on the new game everyone is fighting over, and the franchise as a whole.

Dear fucking god, this shit about a stupid bigoted game is totally unhinged. People bending over backwards just to justify playing game that's just full of problems (especially antisemitism) from a series that is completely lackluster and full of subtle and not-so-subtle bigotry.

Hell, in my opinion now, it doesn't even have a happy ending! It's not like defeating Moldy Shorts does anything to change the status quo. Sure, they locked up various Death Eaters in Azkaban.

And then there was the epilogue. So fucking lame. You barely even get to see what the characters actually do. You just get a new generation of kids getting on the train. Sure, there's nothing inherently wrong with getting a new generation of kids in an epilogue. But that's mostly all you got. Or at least all I can remember. The epilogue was a sore spot for me and my parents since finishing reading it.

At this point, I have to filter both tags and content related to fucking Harry Potter, just so I can prepare myself to look at a post. It now stresses me out and fills me with deep sorrow. Part because of how horrid Rowling is, part because of the fighting, part because I literally see the bigoted and at-best-ignorant implications/undertones (between the antisemitism, transphobia, cultural appropriation, ableism, sexism, and fatphobia at minimum, yikes on trikes), and part because I used to really enjoy the series. In some ways, I was still very sheltered as a child. Location had a lot to do with it.

Had I the mental space for it if my mental health was even just decent, I should have looked deeper the moment I got misgivings about Ilvermorny on that Pottermore site. Never even mind the bloody play. I ignored Twitter for the most part and frequently forgot about Facebook because it wasn't anonymous enough (I was more into myspace and other sites, anyway). It's really Tumblr that opened my eyes up. Hell, it's here that I even found out what went on in the play, and that made me glad I didn't take interest in it.

And so I looked at the stuff, unpacked the existing issues I already had with various plot points while I still liked them, and suddenly could not turn back. When I still read fanfiction of it (several years ago at this point), I really only enjoyed fix-it fics with massive overhauls of the plot.

My nostalgia for the franchise, or even just the books and movies, has died. It's dead, though I'm still not done with my emotions around it. The fucking antisemitism game destabilized what I thought were stable fusions of dissociated parts.

I still have to wrestle with my feelings over the first book being what even got me to like reading in the first place. I was eight, maybe nine years old at the time, and my great aunt made my one cousin read it to me. She never got very far, but it was enough to get me interested. So I fell in love with books and reading. Those books, especially after my child brain connected that I could make up my own stories, inspired me to write my own fantasies.

And it helped get me through a really lonely childhood. Fortunately, it wasn't the only thing I had. But I fixated on it and my 'imaginary friends' (read as loneliness-induced alters) so that I could cope with being the only kid even close to my own age around my part of the mountain for so many years.

Now I wish the franchise would just go away. I'm tired of it.

#harry potter #hogwarts legacy #jk rowling #transphobia #antisemitism #cultural appropriation #ilvermorny #fatphobia mention #fatphobia #pottermore #ableism mention #fanfiction #fix it fic #nostalgia #dissociation #childhood loneliness #long post #lonely childhood #dissociative identity disorder #polyfragmented did

[britts-galaxy-brain]

I will say about kiwi farms …

it is a dogshit website

like while they do go after genuinely terrible people like Lily orchard … they’ve also dog piled on completely innocent people as well (like Doodletones who’s biggest sin was making bad videos on metokur … which started a massive harassment campaign on her that she still hasn’t recovered from (hell like a few years ago she had to deal with someone that kept spreading her Dox and also dealt with a cyber stalker that tried to impersonate her to ruin her reputation … said cyberstalker is still harassing her as of 2023 … it started in 2020 btw… also the KF thread has her actual deadname which is extra yikes)

Also you know the constant transphobia (like the amount of times I’ve seen Lilys deadname and the wrong pronouns on the thread is … yeah Lily orchards a scumfuck but that doesn’t justify transphobia)

it fucking sucks that the only archive of Lilys horrible shit … is also a site that fucking bigoted

same with scum like Coyote lovely and hypnotist Sappho it’s a fucking shame the only reliable source people can go to are the fucking farms

we need a better site … a site that does the same thing as kiwi farms except 1. Has no tolerance for any bigotry whatsoever and 2. Only targets people who’ve actually done wrong and not people who are cringe

Agreed. That's why I don't look at anything else there except Lily's thread. I'm not in any way supportive of the rest of the site or what they allow.

[plushie-lovey]

Can i ask why bab sucks? Bc i buy from them a lot as a plushie collector

Oki I'll try to explain as best I can cause its like 3am where I am..

Basically BAB is a shady company. In the past they've supported organizations such as Autism Speaks (they've since ended that partnership but it took a lot of convincing from customers for then to do so, and I think the Autism Speaks website still sells the bear BAB created for them) BAB also notorious for poor management when it comes to new bear releases and certain promotions.

A good and recent example is the launch of the new cinnamoroll bear. There wasn't an announcement made for the plush at first, it was simply put up on the website. And by the time the Twitter account announced the release, cinnamoroll had already sold out (I believe within a couple of hours of the release). The company did nothing to prevent scalpers from buying up 10+ bears at a time. I also heard that the site was acting wonky because of the influx of traffic due to the cinnamoroll bear. BAB knows how popular Sanrio characters are, cinnamoroll has literally been voted most popular multiple years in a row. They should have prepared for the wave of customers who'd come rushing in for it, although I guess you could simply call it an oversight on their part.

An example of a poorly executed promotion would be that "pay your age" sale they had a couple years back (in like, 2016 I believe?) Hundreds of people with young children lined up at their local BABW in the summer heat, only to be told the promotion had been canceled because they once again didn't prepare for such a massive turn out. Heres a vid for you that talks about it, and another, and one more for the road

On the slightly less Yikes side, the company's got an "after dark" section on the website which is mostly cheeky stuff that only borderlines adult themes, and also features bears holding adult beverages. Which isn't the worst thing I guess. Its cool they're catering to their aduld market, but its not the most appropriate thing to have on a site that kids can easily access (does the site make you put in your date of birth to get on that part of it? I've never checked, but if not then they should at least do that)

Finally, like many retail stores, BAB treats its staff poorly. The company almost literally makes employees do a song and dance for customers while putting pressure on sales performances, all for minimum wage or just barely above. This post here details some of the treatment workers face, and I believe it also links to a subreddit for BAB employees

I hope this is a good answer, friend. Also I just wanna say I've got nothing against people who buy from BAB. If its something you love then enjoy it. But I personally cannot look past these things, and so I choose to enjoy purchasing my own bears from second hand sources.

#please don't come for me BAB collector community I hate the company not the plushies or you #viti shoosh

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Recreational day at work today. We're going on a nature hike and a tour of a historical site which just happens to be in my late grandmother's home village, so I'm very familiar with the place. Haven't been there in a couple of years, though, so it's going to be nice to see it again.

Lunch, and recreation of choice at a nearby sports centre. I chose wall climbing. Haven't done that in 26 years. Yikes. Since the pandemic forced me to quit kung-fu, I have no arm and hand strength anymore. We'll see how it goes. There will probably be a kiddie wall for me to conquer.

I'm going to multitask and spend the bus trip working on my Powerpoint for the conference in Iceland. I'm so behind on everything and I don't have a clue of what to say.

(I also need to avoid a colleague who sadly is a massive energy thief, but at least I don't have to make conversation in the bus.)

#i'm a little too busy at work this week for this #but it's a good break nevertheless

[historias-multorum]

honestly about the anon drama that took place a few months back.. i have a strong feeling the group of ‘friends’ that rp, with all the character blogs ending in anon are the same person.. or atleast most of them, with the exception of the orochimaru one, who probably mods the others.. that taz (mod of sasukeanon) is a nutcase; believe me, speaking from personal experience and as a witness to multiple other ‘dramas’ been taking place over the years. almost any and everything initiated by them, or taking simple situations to a massive drama. it’s almost like a simple rp that doesn’t go exactly her way will set her off, and she’ll go on her childish little rants and verbal episodes. besides, with little to no proof about the threats or anything, they’re probably bluffing about the police and their ‘connections’ too😭 - 👽

I wouldn't be surprised if that were true. Like the whole thing was cute back when I started rp in 2017 but after awhile, no one paid them any attention because it was just a cute one-off fad.

And that's a big yikes from me about that particular individual. I can't stand people like that tho. Like it's never that deep your roleplaying on tumblr this aint Facebook.

Also they don't scare me cause cops don't deal with that sort of thing. Like she lives gods know where, wtf are the gonna do beyond telling her to block me or report me to the staff of the site??? Like they're just mad that I (and others involved) called their bluff bullshit and they fucked around and now they're finding out.

#Answers from Ghost(Mun)

[iusedtousemyrealname]

One of the things I love about Tumblr is how curated the experience can be for you. You go on Twitter and just the most wild ass shit will fling itself onto your eyeballs and you will get whatever the electronic and memetic version of pinkeye is. Reddit is a mess of people who all share similar overlapping interests but often from very divergent backgrounds, and while the sharing of stories can be good the actual conversations turn cacophonous real damn quick. In Tumblr you can curate your experience really really narrowly through people and make sure that you’ll get interesting stuff when you log on, but it’ll be de facto friends giving you those drip feeds of their choices and taste in ways you’ve come to love from all sorts of sources, like having a dozen museum curators of various skills making exhibits for you. Sometimes, though, you can click through and realize tumblr is in fact giant and there are things well outside that group. Like, I think of Tumblr as being incredibly Trans friendly and academically supportive going back to when I first hopped onto this hellsite. But recently I saw a post come across my dash, saw an asinine reblog, and clicked on that person’s blog to get a skim and it was massive massive amounts of “LGB alliance” bullshit coupled with just the lowest attempts at otherizing transfolk from a gay perspective, and.... yikes, right? But there were so many fucking posts that he was pulling from that it occurred to me that this person, troglodytic as he is, probably has a similar cocoon set up to his liking on Tumblr as I do. And it’s also interesting how hard it is for things to pierce that veil. Like, if I hadn’t kept scrolling in that instance I think I would have intellectually known that shit like that goes down on Tumblr but I would never have known how to find it. And my stuff almost never pierces that veil, like the most that it happens with me is that every couple of years some tradcaths find some El Greco paintings I posted on here years ago and start reblogging it which makes me remember that they exist and somehow enjoy the social media site that’s famous for its porn, but I can only think of them like a minor species group kept alive by a ecological niche (like those wolves who spend their days in the ocean) and not a defining sphere of existence all their own, which intellectually in the back of my mind I know they must be a part of.  Anyway, all of that is to say Tumblr is weird and I love it and I wish most of your ecosystems are happy and healthy. Except the LGB alliance folks. They can go get fucked on an island somewhere. (And if you could take the tradcaths who aren’t just into the aesthetics with you I’d be grateful.) Happy reblogging.

#tumblr #tumblr culture #trans rights are human rights

[eiiskonigin-a]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

— BASICS

(PEN)NAME: Missa

PRONOUNS: She/Her

ZODIAC: Scorpio Sun / Leo Moon / Cancer Rising

SINGLE / TAKEN: Happily in a relationship. uwu

— THREE FACTS

001. I am a huge metalhead, which occasionally takes people by surprise! I think it's the fact that I also love to be cute and "girly." Nothing is as annoying to me as when a guy finds out and pulls the faux impressed that "you're not like other girls." Gross. But yeah, if I ever make you a playlist, odds are there will be at least a little bit snuck in there! There’s even a lot of it on Winter’s playlist.

002. My family likes to say that I am, to borrow a phrase from my stepfather, "an endless fount of useless knowledge." While maybe not useless so much, I do tend to be the kind of person who has a lot of random fun facts about... some really random topics. Part of it is just stuff that I pick up, and part of it is things that I've done deep-dive research into. Want to talk about how the Pied Piper of Hamelin was a real person? Did you know luna moths all die of starvation because they don't have mouths? Have an ailment? I probably know an herb or a crystal that's supposed to help! Do you like video games? Talk to me about the Nintendo Virtual Boy and how it was totally ahead of its time -- even if it came out like two years too late! I love nerding out about silly things, so like... if you have a “weird” hyper-fixation, I want to hear about it. I love learning new things.

003. I am a huge Dungeons and Dragons nerd. Anyone who's hung around me for any amount of time will learn that pretty quickly. I'm currently playing a Level 5 swashbuckler rogue, Catiana Freespark, trying to find out what happened to her family and the ship they sail on, the Loreley. She's starting the journey now of multiclassing into a tempest cleric of Procan, after he has been coming to her in times of need -- including bringing her back from the dead in our last session. On top of that, a malevolent sea goddess is now looking for her mother. Huge mysteries keep popping up around her, and I can't wait to see where they're going. ( was this a cheat since it’s not really about me? perhaps )

— EXPERIENCE

001. I’ve been on this hellsite for over ten years now! That’s right, you wee youngin’s, I started back in 2011. I remember when you had to go to a whole other page in order to write a post, and everything looked like shit but at least Tumblr wasn’t constantly changing things for the worse! No post cutting! Massive gifs! Icons? Who is she? I’m a bit stuck in my ways and I’ve been here through like 300 trends and all that bs, but as bad as this site is, it’s my comfort place.

002. I’ve also done some writing on forums in the past, including LiveJournal very briefly. Back in yonder days I actually got started roleplaying online on the Neopets and Gaia Online forums. Yikes. It was... very cringey. These days, I’m not on any forums, ever since the one I was truly invested in closed.

003. I’ve been writing for practically my entire life. It’s always been something that brings me comfort. Growing up, I had... some less-than-ideals issues happening, so I tended to lean into creating fantasy worlds and situations as a form of escapism. I’ve never quite outgrown it!

— MUSE PREFERENCE

If you ask me, I can't quite explain it. Sometimes, your heart just reaches out to a character, latches on and goes "THAT ONE." That's the best way I can summarize it. 

I love complex characters, characters that give me the room for interpretation. I'm sure Mal will point out that I love tsundere characters and that's probably because of I see my own behaviors in them. Generally, I choose canon characters to roleplay because I like having the set parameters. I've never been very good at creating OCs, though playing D&D has been improving my skills -- and honestly, if you look at my D&D characters, I think my love of the "edgy but also soft hearted" character type shows itself pretty well.

— SUB-GENRES

FLUFF: Honestly, my lifeblood. I love... soft interactions... And while it can't be everything, because some characters just can't allow themselves to be open in those vulnerable ways, I love writing it and reading it. Winter in particular shows her softness in unusual or downplayed ways, and I love getting to figure out those little things that she does.

SMUT: I love smut when it serves a purpose. Like, just smut rp for smut sake makes me feel uncomfortable and I'm not trying to shame anyone who really enjoys writing it, but for me... there needs to still be interaction to it. Commentary, reasons, character thoughts. Those deeper looks at characters when they are so exposed fascinate me.

ANGST: The good shit. So often in series, I feel like the traumatic moments are brushed aside for pacing and the like, so it's always interesting to explore those little glimpses that we get of characters and their coping mechanisms.

IN GENERAL: I love writing complex emotions. I love going from teasing to hurt and back again. I love writing characters that have human reactions to one another, and seeing the way that someone else's muse might react differently than how I and my muse expected. That's the whole game, right?

— PLOTS vs MEMES

I love plots! I'm just absolutely atrocious at coming up with them or approaching people. Memes are definitely a safe way to jump into things with me, because I'm likely to be 200 times less awkward about it. However, if you ever come at me with a plot like "hey I think x thing and y thing could happen between our muses," odds are I'll be hyped for it.

— TAGGED: @virmireisms && @caeloservare​ — TAGGING: anyone who wants to do it ;w;

#( games ) / ✦ i don't have time for your immature games . #( ooc ) / ✦ head of the winter schnee simp society . #long post tw

[anti-honeybee-pro-wasp]

Honeybees are not endangered.

Honeybees are not even threatened.

Honeybees are not native to the Americas.

There are around 4,000 species of bee native to America, and seven species are endangered. Honeybees are not one of them because honeybees are not native. They were imported to this country by farmers, and are cared for and protected by humans. There are feral hives of them, and if you don't want to kill them, call a bee keeper.

But there is no reason to value feral honeybees over wild, native wasp species.

#pls @ this site i am just trying to figure out if paper wasps will tear up wood inside houses or build nests inside an abandoned house #because if so... yikes #there's a ton of wasps in the house and they just keep showing up out of nowhere - i think i saw one climb out of the vent? ehh #they're chill tho no attacking #but also i have a dog who WILL try to eat them so they cannot be inside #rip to the wasp nest that may or may not be in the walls but... #actually i did find out that paper wasps use a nest one year and die off and the new ones do but reuse that nest #which makes sense because the few old ones i can see outside are all pretty small #so that means no MASSIVE nest to take out like people would need to with a bees nest built in the walls of their house... #yet again wasps win one over bees #they eat pest bugs AND they pollinate plants? honeybees could never!

[dramarising-replacement]

Real cool of staff to not just lock, but DELETE a well compiled thread of everything wrong with skin/accent submission vetting

(Sorry if this gets posted twice tumblr decided to refresh mid typing)

https://imgur.com/a/kdLCN2J

I managed to salvage the first post because hitting back let me view it after it got deleted.

Awesome that even though the skin/accent moderators actively tell you to bring it up with Contact Us if you want to discuss skin/accent restrictions being too strict, a thread bringing inconsistencies and incredibly stupid denials to attention + encouraging users to send a Contact Us gets deleted without a word.

Real cool users get to spend weeks waiting for a skin to get approved only to get denied, then "fix" the issue, then get denied for another stupid reason. Real cool of some restrictions to be enforced way more harshly on some skins than others with no rhyme or reason, leaving people frustrated and confused.

Good to know a skin can get rejected for arbitrary reasons such as:

1. a short skirt being "too sexual" when some of the belts/waist wraps we have are just as short if not shorter,

2. a really neat "missing file" skin being denied for being "an icon and not a skin" (the most frustrating imo because seriously???? Why does it matter?)

3. twinkling star lights being rejected as "crosses" (??)

The candy gore/circuit board skins being denied for "depicting extreme suffering" is ridiculous and frustrating when there are on-site items that are even more "gorey" looking, too.

Not to mention the wolf accent being denied for "massive gore and suffering"-- what is the artist even supposed to do about that? How is it "massive gore"?

The fact that this kind of stuff makes staff actual money (gems needed to buy accent blueprints and the accents themselves) but the users actually making the content, buying the blueprints, and preordering the skins get shafted (and potentially end up having to redo something that's perfectly fine for no reason other than the staff decided it looks like spoopy scary icky gore if you turn your head 180 degrees and squint a little) is ridiculous.

Lock the thread if it's getting "out of hand" I guess but completely deleting something bringing attention to shitty practices and making more users aware of it, instead of looking into ways to fix said problem, is pretty yikes.

#Drama #Rant #Flight Rising #Cursing #Staff #Art #Long post #Shady #Forums

[mermaidxatxheart]

Better Together Chapter 2

Pairing: Poe x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of lackluster sex, paranoia, Poe being adorable. Probably swearing.

A/N: my works are not to be reposted on this site or any other site without my knowledge and permission. Reblogs are, of course, welcome. If you'd like to be added to my tag lists, please send me an ask and let me know which tag list you'd like to be added to.

Series Master List

Chapter One

Chapter Two

You slowly blink your eyes open in the darkness of the room. Bryce’s big arm is snaked tightly around you, self satisfied snores reverberate softly in your ear. Your entire lower half aches as you stretch and try to sit up. Bryce holds you tighter, pressing his chest into your bare back. His hand snakes up between your breasts as he clings to you.

Carefully, slowly, you roll him over, easing his hand off your skin. You place it back on his chest and slide off the bed, gathering up your clothes. You quickly get dressed and head for the hangar to meet Poe.

You’re feeling off this morning. You wish the commissary is open for some caf, you wish you had been able to sleep in; you wish Bryce had… well. Nothing you can do about that now.

Your go-bag previously stored in the ship, you head there now, trying not to wince with every step.

“Hey, partner.” Poe greets, smiling wide. His smile falters when he sees your empty hands. “You didn’t bring me a caf?”

You groan, walking towards the on-ramp. “I didn’t even bring me a caf. Don’t start.” You mutter.

“Well, lucky for you, I have a friend in the commissary staff.” He says, grabbing you by the back of your shirt and stopping you in the entryway.

“If you have something to say, just say it.” You complain, closing your eyes. He’s way too happy this morning, being awake before the birds are.

“Boy, you’re a grump this morning.” He teases, covering your eyes with one of his big warm soft hands.

“Poe.” You whine.

“Hold out your hand, gorgeous.” He says ever so softly in your ear, his breath on the outer shell making you shiver, making you wish last night had been more satisfying.

Shakily, you hold out your hand, palm up. He leans in close around you, broad chest pressing into your arm and, Maker, he’s so warm. He sets something circular and heavy in your palm and waits.

“Open those pretty eyes.” He prompts. You do and there’s a big cup of coffee balancing perfectly in your hand.

You smile slightly to yourself, grateful to your friend, and you try to shake yourself out of this slump. “Thanks, Dameron.” You step further into the ship, changing your grasp on the cup. “How’s your head?” You ask.

“Just fine. I didn’t end up drinking last night.” He studies you as you head for your bunk. “Okay, what’s the matter with you?” He asks, following after you.

“Nothing. Just tired.” You dig your bag out and rifle through for your favorite sweatshirt. Space is cold and you naturally have a lower body temperature.

“Didn’t you see your loverboy last night? Shouldn’t you be in a better mood?” He teases and you feel your shoulders tense against your will.

“I’m fine, Poe.” You toss over your shoulder, pulling the thick fabric on.

“Oh, did Mr. Prick not live up to the hype?” He continues as you head for the cockpit.

You want to tell him to let it go, that it’s none of his business if you didn’t… but there’s no way to say anything without giving everything away.

“That’s exactly it.” He surmises easily and you do your best to hide your quickly flushing face. “Yikes. If only there was someone who warned you that he wouldn’t be worth your time.” Poe ponders and you roll your eyes.

“If you’re done poking fun at my anticlimactic sex life, maybe we could get going? It’s gonna be a long week together.” You prompt, sliding automatically into the co-pilot’s seat and leaving the pilot’s seat open for Poe.

“I have so many questions.” He sighs.

“If you value keeping your tongue in your mouth, you won’t ask them.” You warn and he groans. “We need to do flight checks.” You half rise out of your seat before he catches your arm.

“Nya already did them.” He says and you roll your eyes.

“Right. Like I’m trusting my life to her.” You scoff and head out of the little room to check on everything yourself.

Nya is probably the worst person on this Resistance base. Maybe even in all the galaxies. She’s rude, condescending, petty, moralless, and you have a sneaking suspicion she’s not really here for the cause. She hates you, and you hate her. No way in all seven hells are you trusting your life in her hands.

You shimmy down the engine hatch, checking all the gauges, valves, pumps, and anything else that she might have tampered with. You’re excruciatingly thorough. Just as you’re about to finish, Poe’s exasperated sigh reaches you.

“Done yet?” He calls and you roll your eyes, taking just a little longer to properly annoy him. “Y/N, do you trust me?” He asks and you sigh.

“Probably against my better judgment.” You admit.

“I was with Nya when she did them. My name is on the list.” He says and you head back over to the opening and extend your hand.

“You promise you didn’t let her ample… personality… distract you?” You ask as he easily hauls you back up to him.

“Promise.” He holds out his index finger and you press yours to it.

“Okay. I feel better.” You nod and he chuckles, draping a muscular arm around your shoulders.

“Good, now let’s get going. Oh, and if you need to… take care of business,” he pauses to wiggle his eyebrows at you, “I won’t judge.”

You smack him in the chest, hard. “Fuck off, Dameron.” You slide back into your seat and start the engaging sequences. He laughs quietly, rubbing his chest where you hit him.

***

“Landing gear.” You say you assume pointlessly. Poe Dameron doesn’t need you to remind him to extend the landing gear, and yet here you are.

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t look at you, he hasn’t even blinked for the last five minutes.

“Poe. Landing gear.” You repeat, a little louder. Still nothing. You grumble and start to lift out of your seat to reach across him and flip it. Naturally, that’s when he starts to move.

“I’ve got it.” He huffs, lifting your arm out of his face and toggling the switch.

“Clearly.” You roll your eyes. “Lost you there for a second.” You hint and he glances at you, his skilled hands flying over the console now without thought.

“Sorry. Daydreaming, I guess.” He rolls his head, easing some tension out of his neck.

“About being anywhere else?” You tease.

“Absolutely. I can’t stand being here with you. Don’t know how you stand being around yourself.” He huffs, glancing out the window, trying to ease the ship down without knocking into too many branches.

“Unlike you, Dameron. I don’t have a choice.” You reply.

The unanswered question of his daydream is dropped as he lowers the ramp and stands up. “Come on, partner.” He says, grabbing his bag and draping it across his chest.

You follow, grabbing your holopad, and double-checking for the third time that you have everything you need. Following Poe, you slip easily into work mode. He closes the ramp after you and waits while you pull up your coordinates on the planet.

It’s densely covered in trees as tall as the clouds, so big around the base that fifteen men could stand holding arms outstretched and probably not be all the way around. Thick foliage covers the ground, threatening to trip you even if you’re careful of where you step. Bright flowers are scattered in the green light cast down from above. Massive branches are over your head, big and sturdy enough for both you and Poe to lie down on. Gnarled, twisting roots rise up from the ground, sprawling across the floor. Roots from one tree can end up ten or fifteen feet away, and they seem to follow you, creaking and creeping up behind you.

The air is muggy, damp with condensation from the water being evaporated under the tree canopy. After just a couple minutes, you feel like you’re drinking the air rather than breathing it.

Focusing, you pull up the map construction on your holopad and hold it up, scanning the area surrounding your ship. You glance at Poe, already seeing little droplets of sweat gathering at the edges of his dark curls. He’s looking around, head on a swivel, hands gripping his rifle, as you work.

“Alright. Pick a direction.” You nod, letting him know you’re ready to begin.

“Left.” He says, stepping in front of you to cross your path.

“Hey, I know it doesn’t need saying again, but we know nothing about this place. Try not to touch too much, and for Maker’s sake, don’t lick anything.” You roll your eyes and that charmingly cheeky grin is back.

“I make no promises, gorgeous. You know I love to lick things.” He smirks and you just wanna smack him again. You could have done without the innuendo.

You follow him to the left, which is actually east, scanning and recording. Every so often, you stop to pick a flower for a sample. It goes into a sealable bag to examine back at the base. If you’re going to live here, you need to know as much about the local plant life, what’s poisonous, what’s okay to eat or smell.

You wipe your hand across your forehead, already feeling your shirt sticking uncomfortably to your shoulders. Poe doesn’t complain, so you don’t, either.

A creaking behind you makes you halt and half turn. It’s been about an hour since you left the safety of your ship, and so far, only giant bugs to report.

“What is it?” He asks, turning to look at you.

“I just thought I heard something.” You shake your head, brushing off your own paranoia. “Probably just one of the branches settling.”

“They’re massive, aren’t they?” He peers up at them. “Try not to get crushed by one.” He jokes, but it’s half-hearted. The good mood from takeoff is quickly wearing off.

He turns back around to keep moving forward, but you catch him just in time. “Poe!” You wrap your hand around the front of his shoulder, pulling him back against your chest before he can walk right into a butterfly the size of an eagle.

“Thanks.” He lets out a breath, squeezing your fingers reassuringly.

“Ever hear the story of how Makimbo walked into the flight path of a moth and it got stuck in his ear for three days until the medics could get it out?” You start and Poe stops again, slowly turning to face you, beautiful brown eyes wide in disbelief.

“You’re shitting me.” He says finally and you laugh, feeling better now that you’ve shaken off some of the silence.

“Nope. Walked right out the door from the dorms as a moth was flying to the light and flew right into his ear canal. Swears to this day he can still hear flapping in there.”

“Unbelievable. Only Mak could do something like that.” He shakes his head, turning back around.

“Can we take a break? I think we should have some water.” You say, your legs throbbing. They were already sore from your time with Bryce, but hiking through this impossible forest is killing you.

“Yeah, of course.” He says, coming back up to join you. “Feeling okay?” He asks, watching your eyes as you ease down onto one of those gnarled roots. It’s almost at chair height.

“Yeah. I probably should have just gone out with you to the bar.” You sigh, unscrewing your canteen.

“Probably would have had a better time.” He agrees, and you’re nodding before you can even think to stop yourself.

“At least my legs wouldn’t hurt this much.” You admit and he groans.

“Please tell me he’s not a ‘lay back and let you do all the work’ type.” He rubs his face with a handkerchief.

“There’s nothing wrong with a girl being on top.” You huff.

“No, yeah, of course. One of my favorite positions.” He holds out his hand to stop you. “But not for the whole time. And especially not if she doesn’t finish.” He says vehemently. “Always knew he was a selfish prick.”

The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Something isn’t right. “Poe?” You start quietly. Your voice is barely above a whisper.

“Sorry, I know you don’t like when I complain about him.” He waves and you’re trying so hard not to panic. You feel eyes on you, dangerous and intentional.

“Poe.” You say with a little more urgency. He finally looks at you, confused. “There’s something behind me. I can feel it.” You say, barely moving your mouth.

His eyes scan diligently over your shoulders. They search every inch of the exposed woods behind you until he shakes his head. “There’s nothing, sweetheart. Just leaves.” He says, sounding very sure. “Come sit by me.” He says, scooting over and patting the spot next to him.

You quickly cross to him and he wraps his arm around you, despite the uncomfortable heat. “I feel stupid, but I swear I felt something watching me.” You sigh, leaning against him.

“Maybe an animal.” He says, not dismissing your feelings at all. You’re grateful that he doesn’t tell you it’s nothing, but offers a possible solution. “If the bugs here are giant, can you imagine the predators?” He shudders, but you tilt your head.

“Actually, if the bugs are so big, there shouldn’t be any predators.” You frown, your anxious stomach settling a little bit. “Because size is equivalent to speed, the bigger they are, the slower they are. So, if the bugs can’t outrun the predator, they die off.” You press your lips together, feeling like you’re rambling.

He turns to look at you, appreciation in his eyes. “You’re pretty smart, you know that?” He says and you grin.

“I do. It’s about time that someone else sees it.” You reply and he laughs.

“Alright, noodle legs. You ready to keep going? We should try to find somewhere to camp soon. The days on this planet aren’t exceptionally long.” He says, and you nod, putting your water away.

“You’re right, let’s get going.” You stand up, picking up your holopad once more. Poe shoulders his rifle, head turning every which way as he leads you through the trees.

“Tell you what.” He starts after an immeasurable amount of silence.

“What’s that?” You croak, your voice sticking in your throat after not being used for a while.

“If we do settle this planet, we’re gonna need some serious air conditioning. My curls are not holding up in this heat.” He says, purposely messing up his dripping locks.

You laugh, flinching away from the flying moisture. “Agreed. But if there are no predators, as we’ve theorized, it could be pretty perfect.”

He turns to glance back at you, his forehead wrinkling in concern. “How are you feeling?” He asks again.

“I’m fine, why?”

He takes you by the arms, his big hands burning into your skin as he guides you to sit down. “You’re really flushed.” He comments, holding his bare wrist to your forehead. “And very warm.”

“It’s a million degrees out here. Of course, I’m warm, Poe.” You look up at him, appreciating his concern.

“Am I flushed?” He frowns.

“Who can tell? You’re perfectly tan all year round. How do you do that, by the way?”

He cups your face gently and tilts it up to him to see better. “I do this thing called going outside.” He says, gently pulling your lower eyelids down.

“See anything?” You ask, only half teasing.

“Nope, no soul in there.” He replies, letting go of you all together and suddenly you miss his hands on your face. They were warm and comforting and you felt safe.

This forest is messing with your head.

Another creak behind you has you up and moving around Poe. He catches your arm, making you slow down.

“Sweetheart, we should eat. It’s been all day. I didn’t realize how much time was passing.” He says.

You shift from foot to foot nervously, looking behind him. Your eyes scan the foliage, looking for any sign of movement. You don’t want to stop, too wound up to eat, but you know he’s right.

“I’ll keep you safe.” He promises. You acquiesce and let him guide you down to the ground and back against the base of a tree.

“I don’t know why I’m being such a weirdo.” You sigh, digging into your pack for your rations.

“Maybe you’re sensing something I’m not.” He shrugs, sitting across from you. From down here the ferns and other ground plants tower over you, creating its own little world. “Maybe it’s the idea of being somewhere new, unfamiliar. Maybe it’s the thought of being the only two people on an entire planet, so certain noises you would hear from other people, you shouldn’t be hearing. There are a million reasons. But don’t brush them off. You have a good gut instinct, Y/N. Use it. It might save us later.” He reaches over and squeezes your knee soothingly.

“Thanks.” You say, feeling a little better. You eat slowly, looking around, but mostly watching Poe. His dark hair is disheveled, curling into his heavy-lidded eyes. You’re grateful to Leia for pairing you with him. She could have picked anyone, and she picked the one person you get along with best. It’s easy to get along with Poe Dameron. Easy as breathing. Even when he’s being difficult, pushing people away after everything he’s seen, he has never once tried to push you away.

“You’re staring at me.” He comments and you drop your gaze instantly.

“Sorry.” You mutter, rubbing your forehead. “Just thinking.”

“About what I look like naked? Don’t feel bad, everyone on base has wondered.” He grins and you laugh.

“Sure. We’ll go with that.” You nod, pushing the rest of your food back into your bag. Your stomach is too tense to really eat anything.

He knocks his knee against yours. “Tell me.” He prompts.

“Just thinking about how we’re friends.” You shrug and he waits patiently for you to continue. “You… you don’t always… make things easy for other people. You argue with Mak, or Hana, or Setti. You sometimes seem to enjoy pushing them away because you do it so often.” You stumble over your words, not wanting to really screw things up. “But you’ve never done that to me.” You avoid his gaze for as long as you can stand it before finally looking up at him.

He’s smiling. “You’re funny.” He says eventually. “I did try doing that to you. At the very beginning. And sometimes it’s easier to have people be mad at me; to take all of it in and feel that instead of… other less pleasant things. And yeah, they get pissed at me, call me a jerk, or whatever name they like. They storm off and hate me for a while. And it feels good.” He nods, clearing his throat and looking around, away from you. “But not you. Never you. I’d pick a fight with you and you would stand your ground, fight me back until I was the one storming off. Then you’d show up at my dorm, or in the woods, or wherever I happened to be hiding, give me a cup of hot chocolate. You absolutely floored me that first time, telling me I could fight you all day long and you’d be there every time, not letting me lose myself.” He inhales sharply, disguising a sniffle. “I think you knew before I did. You just see through me, constantly.”

You're quiet for a long time, thinking over his words. He never says it out loud, never admits that he could use help. Never gives his nightmare a name. But you feel it, weighing on his soul; and yours. “Poe.” You start and he looks up at you expectantly. “I only said those things because you had my favorite book in your bag and I wanted it back.” You say quietly and he laughs loudly, grabbing your arm and pulling you into his lap, hugging you tight.

“Can’t push you away, no matter how hard I tried. You’re too stubborn.” He sighs, rocking you from side to side as you let your forehead rest in the crook of his neck. “Sometimes, I wonder if the bullshit I say will do it. Like the sex talk, or the time I told you I masturbate five times a day just to see what you’d say.” He chuckles, his breath skittering down the back of your neck. “You didn’t miss a beat, just said ‘I believe you. You look like the type’ and moved on.” He grins.

“I just thought you were a really open person.” You admit, pushing back from his chest, seeing his eyes shine with laughter. “We should keep going, you weirdo. There are some cliffs up ahead, I think. We can probably find a cave to sleep in for the night.”

“Agreed.” He pushes you to your feet, and you pull him up right after you. His hand lingers in yours for a long second before he takes it back to adjust his rifle position.

Chapter Three

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[earthstellar]

Rewatching Transformers G1 S2: Episode 1: Autobot Spike

Yes, this is where the Surprised Ratchet meme image comes from:

This episode has a lot going on including near-death of a human character on screen, body horror/a Frankenstein plot, and some genuinely unsettling scenes mostly made creepy due to the combination of some interesting dialogue/voice acting and typical G1 Quality. 

And Spike shoots Starscream in the ass mid-flight, which is fantastic. 

He also shoots his dad, which is less fantastic. 

Being a horror nerd, I love this episode, so here we go! 

Gonna put this below a cut because I’m taking a lot of screenshots here:

You can watch the whole episode on YouTube here in 4 parts, if you want to watch along! 

Alright, so it opens with Sparkplug trying to create “Autobot X”, which is straight up just a Frankenstein’s Monster of autobot parts. It’s weirdly creepy, and vaguely reminiscent of the infamous Ratchet-Megatron fusion in the Marvel comics.

I want to point out that Sparkplug says “I wanna see what I can do with a lotta spare Autobot parts and some human ingenuity” before the reveal shot above, and that’s horrific if you think about it for more than like, three seconds. 

It also may have been the origins of the MECH plot line in TFP, actually! Very similar body horror type thing going on. Anyway.

It works briefly, but it flips out and has to get shut down. 

Ironhide fires a laser, problem solved, nobody’s worried. They put Autobot X in storage, because surely a rampantly aggressive seemingly sentient pastiche of random Autobot parts is nothing to worry about. It’s fine. 

Wheeljack is like, hell yeah, I’ll help you work on it later. Which is when we get the Surprised Ratchet image, because yeah, I bet Ratchet’s freaked out a little since this thing is made of SPARE AUTOBOT PARTS. 

Then we’re swept immediately into a fight with Megatron, as many Seekers as you can fit in frame at one time, and Soundwave. 

For whatever reason, Bumblebee shows up driving through a bunch of partially blown up missile/rocket components, with Spike in the driver’s seat. Even Spike is like, dude, why are we here? And Bumblebee is just like, I mean, we couldn’t NOT show up. lmao

Unsurprisingly, Bumblebee gets shot-- In alt-mode, with Spike inside. Uh oh. 

Megatron leaves, because Frank Welker can only voice so many characters at once, and our attention is turned to the carnage. 

Ratchet is like, sure, I can fix Bumblebee right up! Meanwhile, Ironhide is like oh god, oh my god, is this how you hold a human??? Is it dead??? Optimus is gonna be pissed. 

So Optimus rolls up like, listen, take him to the hospital, come on. Ratchet lets him in the back of his ambulance mode, and Prowl goes with him so that he can throw his emergency lights on to give the illusion of a police escort, ensuring the drive is even quicker. 

(I miss the days when Prowl wasn’t a total asshole.) 

It cuts pretty quickly to Spike in an operating theatre; Apparently getting shot by alien space lasers isn’t conducive to human health: 

It cuts again to the attending physician standing at Spike’s beside, presumably in ICU although they appear to be in a private room, with Sparkplug on the other side of the bed. 

The doctor says “Hmm, if only there were a way of separating Spike’s mind from his body while we work...” Which, uh, what? What surgeon says that? You can sort of already do that in actual human medicine, it’s called an induced coma. 

But sure, we need exposition here, I get it. The screenplay here is tight. Sparkplug says he has an idea...

Back at the Autobot hangout, things seem fairly chill, considering. 

Ratchet is welding Bumblebee’s ass in alt-mode, while Bumblebee complains about how long it’s taking. lol 

Meanwhile, Wheeljack and Sparkplug somehow have Spike hooked up to a Ghostbusters colander helmet, which will hopefully transfer his mind into the malfunctioning/in stasis Autobot X frame. Yikes. 

It works! Spike is now also Autobot X. We will call him Spike X for short. 

And for some reason, Spike saying “D-Da-ad?” with this faceplate expression is incredibly funny to me, while also being really weird and creepy: 

However, this is only cool for like two seconds, at which point Spike X truly starts to lose his shit. 

It gets real creepy here, with Spike X saying in a very oddly flat inflection “Why? Why did you do this to me? Why?” and it’s pretty wild. There’s even a mild strobe effect for a few frames. 

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker try to help calm him down, but Spike X throws them both across the room. 

Optimus is like, oh shit, we made a giant metal teenager. Stop him, but use low power, because if the Autobot X frame is damaged too much, then Spike’s consciousness may not be able to be returned to his actual human body. 

Note that Optimus says this in a pretty relaxed way, then levels a shoulder mounted cannon straight at Spike X, which is incredibly funny. 

It quickly gets deeply weird and creepy again when Spike X is temporarily able to talk with his dad, and states that “it’s hard to think, like something is telling me to do... bad.... things!” Yiiiiiikes. 

He gets it under control again, apologises to his dad for the outburst (I think it’s OK, Spike), and Optimus says that he’s cool to stay at the base and he’ll be taken care of while his human body heals up. 

However, oh shit, the Decepticons have found out that Spike now has an Autobot frame-- And they know he’s unstable. 

Starscream tries to roast him, but Megatron’s like, shut up nerd, we’re gonna make Spike X turn against the Autobots! It’s a good plan, I’m serious! 

Back at the Autobot base, Ratchet is still welding Bumblebee’s ass, and Bumblebee is still complaining. Wheeljack hooks up Spike X with some network television, and he’s watching... Frankenstein. Because the six year old kids who are the intended audience of G1 may not be familiar with the source material for this episode’s plot, I guess, which is fair. (Frank Welker nails it here as Dr. Frankenstein, but that’s unsurprising, because he always nails it. I think he’s also voicing Frankenstein’s Monster, but I haven’t checked the credits.)

Obviously, this isn’t a great thing for Spike X to be watching at this particular moment, so he freaks out again. 

Wheeljack and Sparkplug come running, and somehow Sparkplug is covering ground faster than Wheeljack. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. 

Ratchet’s progress on welding Bumblebee’s ass is interrupted by Spike X breaking through the wall and seemingly flying away. lmao 

They just sort of stand there, like, well, we lost him, I guess. 

Bumblebee is like, alright, gonna go get my boy. 

So he drives out of this massive crater, and Ratchet is like, wait! Your radio transmitter still doesn’t work. (Apparently their radio transmitters are located in their asses. Fascinating.) 

Spike X sits on a cliff and says “what a drag”, which, yeah. Being a Frankenstein space robot would be cool if not for the immense psychological damage this is absolutely causing. 

However, he also calls himself a “walking garbage can” in a completely genuine put-out tone of voice, which absolutely sells that this is a teenager in a giant robot body and I laughed, I won’t lie. 

Some of Megatron’s cronies locate him and hold his position. 

At the same time, Bumblebee shows up and tries to talk Spike X down from a random destructive rampage. 

He throws Bumblebee off the cliff! And Megatron’s squad is rolling up. (Well, flying up, anyway.) Uh oh! 

Spike X is like, hell yeah, bring it. More ass to kick. And it turns out his arm mounted cannon works, because he shoots Starscream directly in the undercarriage and says “YEAH, MAN!” and it’s so genuine. 

This is the perfect reaction to being a teenager in a giant robot body and just suddenly being able to shoot lasers and kick ass. Look at how happy he is, that he just shot Starscream in the butt mid-air. It’s awesome.

Unfortunately, the Seekers do actually beat him up, although Spike X puts up a good fight. 

Megatron then takes advantage of his further weakened state, and swoops in to pitch a classic “Join Us” speech. Spike X calls him “Megacrumb”, which is probably acceptable because he’s absolutely concussed by this point. 

Megatron is willing to overlook this for the sake of teaming up. 

Bumblebee eavesdrops, and drives away-- But Spike X gives Megatron a handshake, and agrees to “make them pay”. Oh shit! 

For some reason, Optimus and Ironhide are back at the rocket facility to watch a launch. Because I guess whatever, this whole situation is chill, let’s go watch rockets? IDK 

But either way, Optimus roasts the inferior quality of human technology, while Bumblebee just drives up on site despite Military Police levelling sniper rifles at him in order to report that Megatron is taking advantage of Spike X’s inability to think clearly. 

Optimus says “I feared something like this might happen”, which, if that were the case, why not take actions to prevent it, maybe? Not the strongest Optimus episode. 

To be fair though, Ironhide transforms and is already driving off before Optimus even gives the order to roll out, so I guess Ironhide either really wants to kick some ass or cares slightly more about Spike X’s wellbeing. He has no dialogue here, so we can only guess. 

They get there, with even more Autobots who showed up at some point in the rapid scene cuts here, and Spike X is super unhinged-- Charging his weapons, he starts speaking in a more strained and angry way, and engages the Autobots! 

He hits Optimus with what appears to be a chest laser? It’s hard to see. But it’s super effective: 

Optimus pleads with Spike X to calm down, but Spike X straight up pulls MEGATRON IN GUN MODE out of his sub-space and shoots Optimus directly in the faceplate. Damn! 

The Seekers and Soundwave drop in, and start rapid firing on all the Autobots present. 

We get some great shots of Megatron in his gun alt-mode as he tries to convince Spike X to keep attacking. Optimus and Bumblebee hide behind cover, attempting to bring Spike X to his senses long enough to disarm him. 

Suddenly, Wheeljack and Sparkplug roll up; Sparkplug attempts to talk some sense into Spike, too. 

Optimus and Bumblebee are at a loss; If they take out Spike X, the damage might take him out for good. 

However, Sparkplug fails in his efforts to talk to Spike X; He SHOOTS HIS DAD AND KNOCKS HIM OFF THE CLIFF. 

Can you imagine if they put an ad break here? lmao 

Luckily, he has like, a claw machine arm, and he catches his dad before he becomes a human smoothie. 

This shocks Spike X badly enough that while he still has Megatron in gun mode, he takes a few pot shots at the Seekers and the Decepticons decide it’s time to bounce, so Megatron bails too. 

He apologises for almost killing his dad, his dad is like hey no beef man, and it cuts to them in the hospital: 

Sparkplug takes his son’s body back to the Autobot base (that sounds worse than it is), and they prepare to transfer him back into his body. 

What’s extra funny here is that he nervously laughs and says “Hope you fixed this thing up good, Ratchet!” And Ratchet says absolutely nothing. Not a word. 

It’s a success! Dad and son hug, totally not even addressing anything that happened this whole episode, because that’s a job for a therapist. 

Ratchet, who continues to not really care about any of this, tells Wheeljack “You know, I could probably repair that mess, but I think it’s best that I don’t.” (This is a play on what Wheeljack said earlier in the episode when he offered to help Sparkplug fix up Autobot X to begin with.) 

I love how tired Wheeljack looks. LOL

Spike, now recovered, leaves us with a great question to close out the episode: “I wonder what it’d be like for a robot mind to be transferred... to a human!” 

Depending on what kind of kid you were, his question was either imagination fuel for fun humanformer ideas, or was a blatantly bad question indicating he learned nothing and providing nightmare fuel trying to imagine one of the Autobots losing their shit in a human body the same way Spike lost his shit while inhabiting Autobot X. 

Anyway, great episode! 10/10 Scary, funny, creepy, Starscream got shot in the ass by a teenager. 

#g1 #transformers #maccadam #optimus prime #ratchet #wheeljack #bumblebee #transformers review #g1 review #autobot spike #spike witwicky #sparkplug witwicky #megatron #starscream

[katsukikitten]

Wholesome Frat AU, Clearly aged up, college au, main characters are Bakugou, Kirishima, Denki, Sero, Jiro, Mina, and of course you my dear reader. Sexual themes, mentions of drugs and booze through out.

AHEM

Chapter 1

Denki lies upside down off his bed, staring at his phone when another invite to a party comes through. It's from a classmate he shares notes with and one of the few non toxic dudes on campus. A smile forms on his face, his fingers ready to fly across the screen to confirm his Friday night to be golden and one to remember. 

Or maybe wish to remember as alcohol and maybe some weed numb his senses. 

But then the location comes through, a frat house that's notorious for ignorance and low key rape culture. He turns it down claiming to study and sighs. Staring at his shared four walls from the top bunk. 

"What's going on with you? No one wants you to keep their bed warm tonight?" Sero teases passing him up a beer before starting the next round of his game. Preferring to get buzzed and troll in Apex lobbies than find somewhere to be tonight.  

Their phones buzz at the same time, Kirishima coming through on the group chat. 

Big Red 🦈 : Any plans tonight boys?

Boomboi 💣 : Fuck off, busy. 

Tape dispenser 🎞 : Apex

Zaptos ⚡: got invited to a party but location is sus af. You bro? 

Big Red 🦈 : Yikes 😬 Keepin some ladies safe. Don't like the scene here…

Tape dispenser 🎞 : Same

Zaptos ⚡: Same

Boomboi 💣:  FUCK OFF!

Denki and Sero both smirk at their phones before moving on with their Friday night with small talk of Instagram stories and received risque snapchats. As the beer fridge gets dwindles  their thoughts seem to grow. 

"Okay, listen. Here me out!" Denki says as if Sero would ever come off defensive. He finishes his eighth beer before continuing. 

"What if we started our own frat? Like...like a fucking wholesome one." 

"Dude not only does that sound impossible but what would we call ourselves?" Sero chuckles nursing his seventh beer. Denki pauses for a moment, trying to think of something, anything great. 

"Alpha Kappa Wholesome." He smiles, "Yea that's it!"

Sero laughs from his bottom bunk earning an angry faced Denki to put half of his body over the side of his bed. 

"I'm serious man! We could kick out whoever doesn't match our values. This college is supposed to be about making 'lasting connections' with fellow heroes! How are we supposed to do it when we are cooped up in our tiny dorm!" He gestures to their cramped room. A set of bunk beds and desks with their TV and shared dresser on the far wall. Sero looks around, this sure as hell wasn't like the dorms at UA that's for sure. 

"Okay well two people isn't enough for a frat, man." Sero lets the dream die before it can bloom, running a hand through his raven hair. Denki scrunches up his face before he remembers where his crush stays.  It's as if a light bulb lit up atop his upside down head. He jolts himself falling from the top bunk crashing into the empty beer bottle. They clink in protest but thankfully non break, just roll beneath the bottom bunk. 

"But there is a sorority of only four and we have four friends in our group!" 

Denki decides now is a good time to face time them. Kirishima answers first with a shout that he's gonna step outside, the roaring party and flashing lights die behind the shutting door while Bakugou is illuminated by the light of his screen glaring into the camera while a meek looking girl hides. 

"This better be fucking good." Bakugou growls. 

After an hour and a half of screaming Denki finally convinces Bakugou that sharing a house with the three of them as opposed to a rando was a much better idea. Reminding him that he had done it for three years in highschool surely he could last two more. He agrees but refuses to help argue with the dean meanwhile Kirishima is GLOWING with excitement over the idea formulating with his sober mind the best way to handle the notorious harsh Dean. 

It takes petitions, several meetings and almost til the spring break to come down to this, the final meeting. Bakugou, who has attended every meeting and true to his word has said nothing. Denki nervous as a sinner in church, Sero who's sweating bullets and Kirishima all sit in the room with the board, treasury and the Dean in a final meeting of sorts. 

Kirishima gulps and before he can explain the benefits the frat will have to offer the Dean stops him with a simple show of his hand. Taking a report from the secretary of treasury to look over, he just needed the monetary excuse to back up his favorite word. 

"No." He clears his throat, "Unfortunately funds are too low to be able to support another fraternity." The Dean leaves it at that not even bothering to offer they join something preexisting. 

Three of the four men accept defeat, mentally communicating that they did a good job trying. But the fourth man dreamed of his own room, of his own space to do as he pleased. And all without threat of being charged with murder. Although the fourth man would never admit that the reason he spoke up wasn't totally about the room, it was the look of defeat, anguish on his friends faces that had the room heating up a degree or two and smelling heavily of boiling sugar. 

"Oi, toupee." The hot head let's his seat fall back to all fours, fixing the Dean a withering look, "You said something about not enough money huh?" 

The Dean swallows thickly carefully thinking out his next sentence. 

"Why, Yes its…." Bakugou interrupts before the Dean can even finish his thought. 

"Pretty sure I'm the reason this campus is gonna be swarming with fucking no name extras next year." Katsuki's smile widens as his hand pops, "If you deny this request with the money I'm making you then I'll participate in the university sports festival with another college's across my fucking chest." 

The Dean visibly sweats, Bakugou really was a hard student to land. His brash attitude and unapologetic behavior was popular among the younger generation bringing with it an influx of applicants and donations. It hadn't even been 24 hours since his announcement did it crash the admin and donation site. He panics, not even sure if there is any real estate available on or around campus in order for him to legally allow this fraternity to flourish. As if reading his mind the secretary of grounds offers him a file, an old run down home within a decent walking distance of the main campus. The Dean exhales the breath he didn't realize he was holding. 

"Let's not act so rash. It has just come to my attention that we have some extra funding to be able to purchase a place for you all…" He looks over the file, he hopes this is enough to placate the hot head, "But it will need some old fashioned sweat equity, if we can secure it. The town has been kind enough to offer us first dibs to real estate within a certain radius of campus and if they like our offer you hardworking men will have your 'Alpha Kappa Wholesome home." 

"They better like your offer." Is all Bakugou says before standing, "We get the keys in a month, got it?"

He doesn't give the Dean time to rebuttal, he just leaves while the other shocked three follow suit. It isn't until they are in the courtyard does their excitement hit them all at once.

"HOLY SHIT BAKUBRO ALWAYS COMING IN ON THE FUCKING KLUTCH!" Denki shouts, tackling Bakugou into a hug, Sero and then Kirishima wrap their arms around the yelling hot head who threatens to blow them up. 

"I owe you a fucking drink!" Kirishima shouts lifting the group and twirling them  

"OI OI OI SHITTY HAIR PUT ME DOWN!" 

After that promised drink and a month of waiting the four musketeers stand before their new home. The house is trashed, easily a short sale of a foreclosure as the rent went higher but their wages stayed low. The amount of work to make this place semi decent was going to be astronomical at best. 

Bakugou is thoroughly unimpressed, scoffing as Denki runs up the porch. The vision is clear in the electric blonde's head. The massive porch is clean, with a swing and some chairs, string lights hanging from the wooden ceiling while the half wrapped around, second story porch is draped in endless artificial star light cloaking the house in cozy warmth. 

Dneki opens the front door and plume of dust rushes out around him, the other two follow suit. Taking the steps two at a time as they rush into the house. Harsh garnet stares after them before glancing at their luggage. He decides to leave it all stepping inside. 

Their imaginations run rampant as they stand beneath the large archway to the main living room while Bakugou begins to second guess opening his mouth. That or getting more money from the Dean. Before displeasure can leave the hot head his friends turn to face him, their eyes shining and smiles stretched wide, wide enough it begins to hurt Bakugou's own cheeks. They encourage him to step into the home more, telling him what will go where. For a moment his smile is soft, tender as he looks at these three idiots seeing the bright side of everything before he steels back into his normal self.

"Oi! Quick acting all googly eyed. We've got a lot of work to do and a lot of fucking money to raise." 

The four friends spend majority of their spring term picking rooms and doing basic cleaning. Bringing only one of the two full bathrooms up to par, trying their best to keep up with the old big house. Even after all of them picked their rooms there were still three bedrooms and a den with a door left. They brain stormed adding recruits but Bakugou shot the idea down despite Sero being elected the president of the frat. 

Spring boils into summer, bringing with it the promise of cold hard cash. Bake sales and lunch deals thanks to Bakugou's cooking skills brought in a large amount of income, so did the odd jobs Kirishima, Denki, and Sero found themselves doing. Still they find themselves short.

"Shirtless carwash!" Denki announces earning a glare from Bakugou. Kirishima pipes up before the idea is blasted sky high. 

"Think of the money man. The community around here is soccer mom's and freshly graduated college kids and I don't know about yall but when I go for a run or hit up the corner store after a good run I'm being stared at." 

"That's a valid point Bakugou. I've seen how they flock to you for baked goods, they've been staring at your arms and eyes man." Sero adds voting yes to the idea making it three to one. 

Just as Kirishima said, woman and even some men, flock to the area for a car wash. Some even coming back twice in one day! The cash flow is good but still a bit lacking. Denki wipes the sweat from his brow as he wonders how they will get enough to be able to get decent light fixtures and a working fridge in the dorm. Let alone anything aside from a blown up mattress and folding chairs in the living room. He scrolls through his social media on his break and comes across the miracle he has been asking for. 

A lovely summer picture of four women in bikinis, three of them his housemates have lived with before. Mina Ashido, Jiro Kyoka,  Ochako Uraraka, and then there is the new woman, you.

But what makes the picture that much sweeter isn't even the content itself, no it's that gorgeous caption just beneath it. 

"BASIC BITCH CAR WASH! Help us raise money for an apartment so our sorority doesn't get disbanded!" 

An idea formulates in the electric blondes head so quickly he thinks sparks fly from his ears. A dangerous smile forms on Denki Kaminari's lips. 

#bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #bnha au #bnha college au #bnha wholesome frat au

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: episode 6

Episode 6 jumps us into the case of a disappearing woman, Zhou Weiwei, with the SID team being on the scene, taking the unofficial statement of her fiancé, Ji Xiaobai. While in terms of the actual investigation this case is even thinner than usual, thematically its juicy. It’s musing on the self, and how the self is defined in the eyes of the others; it actually has a grown-up real life take on an unhappy love story, and it can even be read as having pro-immigration connotations. This episode is telling the viewer that one is not entitled to nice things because they are a human from the human world, and there is no sin in wishing to take a chance to move somewhere you can see the sun. 

From the very first scene, Zhao Yunlan, who always has been shown as hands-on with the investigation, removes himself from Xiaobai’s flat, claiming that he has to speak to someone. It’s obvious who that someone is; and we see that our Chief is starting to rely on Shen Wei as his consultant way before he ever offers him that job. There is no reason for Yunlan to seek the other man’s help; and yet, he will end up solving with Shen Wei by his side, and purely through Shen Wei’s ample advice. 

Left with the worried, grieving fiancé of the missing Weiwei, Guo Chancheng suggests they take a stroll to calm down emotions, bringing himself, the man in question, and Chu Shizhu to his favourite place. He is, once again, being the sweetest, most lovely and considerate human being on this planet; and Chu Shizhu is starting to take his lead, listening, being a calming presence - even going as far as to softly offering Ji Xiaobai a beer. 

Hearing the sounds of a magpie, harbinger of good fortune, Guo Changcheng becomes animated, dragging Xiobai up to make a wish out loud. Xiaobai, predictably, wishes for his beloved to come back home, and Xiao Guo gladly repeats this wish, strengthens it with his will. This is where he is in his element: making people better, giving people hope, using his massive heart to help those around him. Guo Changcheng truly is too precious for words.

“Kid. You never make wishes for yourself?”

“I do. When everyone is happy, I am happy as well.”

We see Guo Changcheng’s simple, pure altruism resonating deep within Chu Shizhu, reminding him of his little brother that he lost. Well, I say “little” metaphorically, as the two are twins. That’s right, Guardian has two sets of twins, probably because it does not want to waste its extremely capable main cast. I’m not mad at it. 

Later that day, Shen Wei is conversing with a flower Yashou conveniently living on campus. I think she has a name, but I have a habit of calling her Bush Woman, because it’s what she is. 

She is animated poorly, but at least she is animated at all: there will be a scene later in the series, in which she is played by a bush, being shaken enthusiastically below the shot. The actual conversation is about a person Shen Wei is looking for: he has received a tip from Butler Wu in the previous episode that one of commanders in the Underworld army had a child. Hoping that that child could give him a clue at to where the next of the Hallows is stored, Shen Wei is now looking for them. Naturally, the child in question is also the missing woman in question, but Shen Wei does not know that yet. 

Their conversation is interrupted by Zhao Yunlan being sited on the bike heading towards the university. In the next scene, Zhao Yunlan is shifting uncomfortably at Shen Wei’s office door. Presumably, he has knocked, heard no response, and is just about to give up and go home. This is the moment Shen Wei opens the door from inside, greeting him. Did he teleport into his office so he could talk to Yunlan? Yes, yes he did. 

Despite being more than capable of deducing stuff on his own, Chief Zhao brings in the pictures of the disappeared Weiwei to Shen Wei to analyse for clues. We know that Shen Wei is aware that there is no actual legitimate reason for Zhao Yunlan to seek out his help - because Shen Wei states as much, in the nicest way possible. Zhao Yunlan does not actually have a satisfying answer to that, and his response is mostly boiled down to shameless flirting. 

And also doing throughly shameless things to a lollipop while maintaining eye contact the whole time. Because why not give our protagonist in the show about brotherhood the most homoerotic character quirk he could possibly have, right? 

As Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei continue discussing the case, it becomes more and more clear that they work together marvellously, going as far as finishing each other’s sentences. The body language also suggests that they are very comfortable in each other’s company.

Yunlan, who a few episodes ago would rather sleuth himself than ask people for clues, listens to the advise Shen Wei gives him, internalises it, and eventually uses it to solve this case. Scratch that, actually - he accepts it when Shen Wei pretty much solves the case for him. 

Following Shen Wei’s words to the letter, Zhao Yunlan opens the portal into the magic dimension and discovers that there are, in fact, two Weiweis. The woman from the mirror - an Undergrounder, who left to live a normal life, and a human, who hid because she could not stand being unpopular, and now returned out of jealousy for her mirror counterpart’s perfect life. 

It’s very hard to not sympathise with the mirror!Weiwei over the human one. All the former wanted was to live, and to love, and to be happy. All the later wants is to have all that without putting in any effort. Human!Weiwei does not truly understand that it takes more than taking to have a relationship, and there is nothing that would allow her to be entitled to happiness that she did not herself create. 

Instead, she calls mirror!Wewei a monster, and the later snaps, creating a whirlwind of energy which threatens to destroy everyone in the mirror with her. 

Unfortunately for her, one of the people she is threatening to kill is Zhao Yunlan, and we know how Hei Pao Shi feels about Zhao Yunlan’s life being threatened. This man, who does have a soft, squishy heart, and has previously allowed murderous Wang Yike to stay with her lover, all but snarls at mirror!Weiwei as he captures her. 

The show treats hers and Xiaobai’s farewell as a true tragedy; it’s genuinely heartbreaking to see them cry, as we are shown flashback of their relationship.

In the past couple of episodes, we have witnessed a huge shift in Shen Wei. He may have been determined to detach himself and march onwards alone a short while ago, but he has also seen the SID being full of kind, righteous individuals; he has been begged to save an Undergrounder’s life; he has been asked for friendly support and advice by Zhao Yunlan, and so he, perhaps unwittingly, allows his Hei Pao Shi persona to soften. As he takes mirror!Weiwei away, he stops to have a little tiny heart to heart with Yunlan, saying that identity of a person lies in their heart rather than what or who they are physically. This is a very Shen Wei thing to say, actually, but it will be a while before Yunlan figures that one thing out. Two things on this scene:

One. The mask really does hide Zhu Yilong’s most prominent features pretty well, and to help the viewer understand how he could have been hiding his identity successfully for what could be months, the camera more often than not shoots Hei Pao Shi from a lower angle, and Shen Wei from the higher angle, or dead on, subtly reshaping the jaw line. It’s clever; as is often often the case with the camera work in this show. 

Two. Isn’t it a little bit amusing how this ancient godlike being needs to fill in the paperwork in line of his duty?

As with Shen Wei’s advice earlier on, Zhao Yunlan takes Hei Pao Shi’s one to heart as well, and makes his way to human!Weiwei to make sure Xiaobai knows that she is not at all the woman he fell in love with and wanted to marry. He unearths her greed, jealousy and entitlement in full; in the end, this relationship cannot survive, because how could Xiaobai possibly stay with someone who does not know - someone who even is, in some ways, responsible, for his lover being taken away from him forever? As the couple breaks up, Wang Zheng and Sang Zan’s love song is playing in the background. 

During this scene, the infamous “I would like to buy [this coat] for my girlfriend” moment happens. 

As we know, he does not have a girlfriend. He may, however, have a boyfriend.

I really like the idea that he buys Shen Wei’s trench coats based on this. I really do. It is nice to see Shen Wei’s style starting to change dramatically as he and Zhao Yunlan become closer, of course, and I want it to be one of those deliberate coded messages Guardian is absolutely astonishing for. But at the same time, this is the jacket Yunlan is remarking on:

It sadly does not look anything like what Shen Wei wears. I will file this under “it’s true because the fandom said so”. 

Later, Hei Pao Shi is having a conversation mirror!Weiwei, revealing that he knew her father, and getting a clue he was after. We are getting a lovely extreme close-up of his eyes. While the mask does not stand to scrutiny of close examination - seriously, they could have maybe put actual leafing on it! - I really love this shot. 

At home, Zhao Yunlan is talking to Da Qing about his favourite subject, which is Professor Shen, and performing more shameless things to his lollipop while doing so. Brotherhood, my friends. This show it about bro-ther-hood. 

Da Qing wonders if his friend has been bewitched by Shen Wei, because it is obvious that Zhao Yunlan does not shut up about the man ever. When asked whether Yunlan would arrest the professor if he were indeed from the Underground, Yunlan responds with a dismissive, almost affronted “He didn’t do anything wrong”. We are to understand, through Da Qing’s reaction, that this is extremely uncharacteristic of Zhao Yunlan to say something like this, and it is entirely reasonable for Da Qing to be concerned. We could extrapolate that Da Qing’s worried because if Shen Wei is dangerous, getting attached to him in such a blatant manner could put Zhao Yunlan’s career and life at a very great risk. So, Da Qing, who knows his friend very well, chooses to press all the correct buttons to kick-start his natural curiosity, and do some investigative work into Shen Wei. 

Step one: break into his flat. As you do.

When we saw Shen Wei view the flat prior to moving in, it was shown already furnished, which is not entirely consistent with this tasteful, yet eclectic, furniture. I don’t know about you, but most flats I have rented have been furnished at IKEA. I can’t help but particularly admire his G Plan style mid-century side-board. And the fact that the man owns a gramophone, because of course he does. 

Shen Wei’s book collection is wonderfully perplexing. I’m not surprised that he reads in English - he is educated, and Dragon City is explicitly shown as bilingual, seeing as signs and even gravestones are written in English. But choices were made with the selection of titles. Going off the English ones alone Shen Wei owns: three copies of the same book about architecture, a heavy looking tome on interior design, a tattered one on Van Gough, and the only non-fiction English titles in his possession are… Irvin Welsh’s Trainspotting and a novelisation of Rocky? The former is notoriously difficult read as it’s written entirely in the Scottish accent. The later is very difficult to find, as is often the case with unnecessary novelisations. Neither scream “Shen Wei” to me. 

Apart from Shen Wei’s obviously fake book collection, we find out that he has some files on the SID. It should be a weird point of contention for Zhao Yunlan, considering that a) he also read Shen Wei’s files; b) he literally broke into the man’s apartment. 

While Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing are still nosing around the flat, Shen Wei makes his way home, stilling at his door when he either sees that the lights are on (they won’t when he left), or notes with his Hei Pao Shi sense that someone is inside. 

We, in turn, discover that he has sword replicas on his wall. The swords are obviously European, two of them are shorter, arming ones, and the one in the middle is a longsword with a hand and a half grip. All three have round pommels, downturned cross-guards, and the general shape most reminiscent of very Late Middle Ages (I would hazard at a guess and place them around second half of the 15th century). I wish we could have seen Shen Wei fighting with one of those at some point, because they would be wielded in ways very different from his own blade, but alas. The shield, by the way, has no business being hung together with those swords: it’s not only from a wrong era, it’s from a different part of the world entirely; my guess is that it’s a replica of a shield from the Tang dynasty. 

Shen Wei senses Zhao Yunlan hiding on the balcony, and bites back a smile. Anyone else would be less happy to find out that their privacy being violated, but he is endeared at is the same way Yunlan was endeared at Shen Wei’s cunning during the prior episode.

After getting back to Zhao Yunlan’s own flat (possibly by waiting for Shen Wei to pretend to fall sleep), Da Qing and Zhao Yunlan move on to step two: contacting the Underground Regent about Shen Wei. Which is not as important a tidbit as finding out that Zhao Yunlan owns a swing. 

Then, they move in to step three: the banner.

According to this article, it’s 锦旗, a traditional gift of gratitude. It’s addressed to “Dragon City University, Professor Shen Wei”, but is singed by “Zhao Yunlan”, without mentioning of SID or his position therein, implying that the gift is personal. The message reads “Helping people [is] helping oneself” and “conscience of the industry”. It’s extremely over the top, which both Shen Wei and Chu Shuzhi, tasked with delivering the banner, are aware of.

Shen Wei looks between tentatively amused and politely mortified.

Chu Shuzhi looks like holding this banner is the most excruciating torture he ever had to endure. 

The banner, of course, has a hidden camera in it, so that Zhao Yunlan has a 24/7 feed from Shen Wei’s office. As he and Da Qing are watching the gift being hung, Da Qing is teasing Yunlan with Hei Pao Shi, who is surely the wrong man to tease him about.  

In the next scene, Zhao Yunlan is at Shen Wei’s workplace again, and we discover from Shen Wei’s unpleasant boss that Li Qian has dropped out after her ordeal with the Longevity Dial. 

From the way this is written and shot, I would surmise that Zhao Yunlan does not spring on the professor in a middle of an uncomfortable conversation, but rather has spent some time with him prior to it, volunteering to be moral support. He continues being a good friend by asking Shen Wei why he feels like he has to shoulder all of the world’s weight: it’s surprisingly insightful into a large part of Shen Wei’s personality. 

There is little narrative reason for them to have this meeting, so I am choosing to believe that dropping in on Shen Wei randomly during lunch time is a habit Zhao Yunlan has started to form.

Finally, before the episode ends, we are privy to Shen Wei being the most polite, level-headed mugging victim. He hands the muggers his watch and money willingly, waiting for Zhao Yunlan, who is obviously stalking him, to show up and save the day. The muggers, enraged by his cool attitude, decide to shake him up, and, in the last seconds of this episode, the Pendant of Pining appears in shot for the first time. 

Next up, episode 7: No, Shen Wei, It Wasn’t The Bears

------

Just a quick note to say that I’ll keep those recaps going, but I will have to slow down the pace at which I’m churning them out to one every three to four days. There are some real life things I’ve been neglecting last few weeks that I need to spend my time on; and I’ve also started a new show (Sound of Providence, not Word of Honour - my watching priorities currently lie with Zhu Yilong being awesome). So, if I’m quiet here for a few days, I’m not gone, just a bit busy.

ETA. Realised that I made a booboo when translating the banner. Fixed that now. 

#guardian #shen wei #zhao yunlan #weilan #recap #rewatch #overanalysing set design

[scobbe]

It’s been interesting remaking a tumblr at this point because my old blog went back to like 2012 or whatever, and what I generally saw on the big blue screen was stuff I wanted to see -- like even recommended blogs were mostly blogs by other weird little individual people and it felt all nice and homey and not like the other big social media sites. And we see posts about this all the time, about how tumblr remains this kind of neighborhood of individuals each with their weird little blogs.

But then I remade from scratch, and tumblr asked me what I was interested in and I clicked a few things out of curiosity. And the weird thing is, almost every blog they have shown me since has been HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS in that it is extremely curated content with an icon of a “attractive young Gen Z woman” (you know, thin, white, long flowing hair, usually out on an expensive-looking balcony with the sea behind her) and some pithy saying at the top. Like this is not a weird little individual, this is not some regular human reblogging cottagecore. This is something being mass-produced and presented for a purpose, and it’s the first thing they recommend. And like, there is a LOT of this, of this like... packaged superficial dross. It’s like suddenly finding out your grocery store bakery actually gets everything from a Pepperidge Farms factory and just repackages it to make it look locally-baked.

It’s just been so disturbing. And I keep trying to get away from it and get my little hole in the ground back together, away from what is, absolutely, something selling something at the end of the day. Like I didn’t think tumblr was like that, too, but tumblr is like that, too. Maybe not to the massive extent Facebook has become, but it’s there.

And yes absolutely it is easier to dig our comfortable holes here and it is all preferable by far to anything else, but yikes, it’s like you can’t escape the commodification of everything anywhere.

#tumblr #this has been bothering me for weeks #like I have been finding it so hard to find like #actual blogs of interesting content #and so many I used to follow are gone now #where they went nobody knows