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i-am-bitterly-jittery · 2 years

Text

Virgil Sanders: Space Ecologist

Based on this post

Word Count: 3024

Rating: Teen

Pairings: none, platonic DLAMPR, familial Anxceit

Warnings: swearing, over-polluted planet (not earth), aliens

This is mostly an excuse for me to be a giant biology nerd, but put it in space

~~~START~~~

“What’s the word, Lo?” Virgil asked as he checked over his instruments one last time before tucking them into his pack.

“The atmosphere of Illill-ii contains a toxic amount of oxide-rich molecules that could impair the function of the carcinian systems of many species.” Virgil’s helper-bot, L0-G4 series N (Logan, or Lo, for short), reported from where he was currently nested in his charging port.

The Borstian Mining company had just vacated Illill-ii after having already decimated most of the life the planet had once sustained. Now it was Virgil’s job to see what was left, and assess what could be gone.

If anything.

“And now, considering I am a human, and very much without a carcinian system?”

“The atmosphere presents no health concerns that would require a human to wear a spacesuit, but the relatively high levels of carbon dioxide to O2 could pose possible health concerns if you are planning any activities more strenuous than regular walking. I would suggest bringing an emergency breathing pack, but a regular breathing apparatus will be unnecessary.”

“Thanks, Logan! Now what about Patton?”

“Ah!” Patton yipped, the pog bouncing up and down at the mention of his name.

“I do not recommend exposing a pog to this atmosphere. Nor do I recommend bringing a pog on a scientific outing, especially one that is meant to observe the fauna of this planet.”

“Aww he won’t disturb anything, will you buddy?” Virgil asked, putting his bag aside in order to pet Patton. “Will you?”

“Wah ah!” Patton yipped.

“Yeah? Good boy!”

“I do not recommend bringing a pog along on this outing,” Logan repeated. “I also do not recommend using a pog as a companion beast, or allowing fratoos to continue their infestation of your ship, but you have made your opinions on my recommendations quite clear.”

“Patton doesn’t need to be a ‘traditional’ companion beast to be useful,” Virgil replied, used to Logan being a little surly about this topic. “His job is to be cute and cuddly; and besides, he’s part of the family, and so are Roman and Remus!”

“The pog and fratoos are not part of your family; you are not the same species.”

“Family comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes, Lo. We’re all family; me, Pat, Ro, Re, and even you.”

“Illogical,” the robot replied.

“Your mom is illogical,” Virgil said as he dug around for Patton’s protective bubble. The atmosphere may be unhealthy for him, but he still needed to be able to run around a play somewhere that wasn’t quite as cramped as Virgil’s little ship.

“I do not have a mother,” Logan stated just as chittering started up in the walls.

Seconds later, a little green shape shot out from behind Virgil’s atmospheric monitor and flew straight towards the man himself.

Virgil easily grabbed the fratoo out of the air, pinning his wings to his sides and ignoring it as the little guy began biting at the hapose leather of his glove. A moment later, a red fratoo followed suit, this one landing calmly on Virgil’s shoulder, butting his tiny head against Virgil’s neck.

“Remus, Roman,” Virgil greeted the pair. They’d lived on the ship longer than Virgil himself, and since they didn’t actually mess with any of the vital systems of the ship, Virgil allowed the small dragon-like creatures to remain. To most of the universe, fratoos were a pest that needed to be dealt with, but to Virgil, the two were just another part of the family.

Remus continued biting and chittering, content to play-fight with Virgil’s hand.

“You’re not coming.”

Roman nipped unhappily at Virgil’s ear in response.

“I need you two to watch the ship while I’m gone,” Virgil explained.

“I do not recommend–”

“They aren’t actually watching the ship, Logan, that’s what the security system is for.”

“Ah, very good.”

Virgil rolled his eyes fondly; Logan could be such a worrywart — though he would deny any such claim as he “is a robot, completely incapable of emulating the emotions of organic organisms.”

One last check to make sure his pack was ready with everything he would, or could need while out in the field, then Virgil placed Remus in a box on the top shelf of his supply cabinet — it would take the two fratoos about ten minutes to get him out, which was more than enough time for Virgil, Logan, and Patton to head out — and placed Patton in his protective bubble.

“Ready to go, L?”

“I am fully charged,” Logan replied, disconnecting from his charger and hovering over Virgil’s shoulder.

“Then let’s go!”

Virgil opened the hatch and allowed Patton to bounce out first, followed by Logan. He shot one last glance back at the fratoos and found Roman diligently at work trying to release the lid of Remus’s temporary prison. Trapping Remus worked very well to take both brothers out of the equation as Roman would try to free his brother; Remus, on the other hand, would seek revenge first, leaving Roman to stew in his prison for a while.

Once the hatch was closed behind him, it was time to get to work.

For about an hour, Virgil and Logan took measurements of air quality, soil content, plant coverage, all the while making note of every organism they came across. Then it was finally time for them to start on the biodiversity tests.

Not that there was much bio to be seen, let alone a diverse amount; other than some more resilient grass-type vegetation, they’d barely found a single living thing.

Well… that is, until they found the nest.

The nest was small, the diameter being barely more than the size of Virgil’s hand. It was nestled within a valley between two large mounds of tailings leftover from the overmining of the planet. The nest was outlined with small rocks, then filled in with dried, brittle plant matter that would probably turn to dust if Virgil tried to touch it. Sitting on top of the dried nesting materials was a single large yellow egg with purple speckles, a green scale-like pattern, and a brown spiral line that ran around the egg looking almost like one long crack.

“What species lays eggs like that?” Virgil wondered aloud, half to himself and half to Logan.

“This type of egg is not in my database,” Logan answered, sounding just the slightest bit frustrated at this shortcoming.

“Is it… alive, do ya think?” Virgil asked, stooping down to look at the egg from another angle, while still keeping a respectful distance from the egg — if an animal-like organism laid this egg, he didn’t want to potentially scare it off.

“Unlikely,” Logan answered. “There are no signs that anything other than us has come to this area in quite some time; if the egg had been viable, it is likely stillborn.”

Virgil stared at the egg, then stood to survey their surroundings. There was nothing but piles of tailings and tall, coarse grass as far as the eye could see. The only trails through either the loose dirt or easily bendable grass were those belonging to Virgil or Patton — who was happily bouncing around in his bubble near a tailings pile in between where Virgil and Logan were studying an unknown egg and where Virgil’s small ship was parked — there was nothing to indicate that the egg had any kind of parent, at least not one that checked in on it at all.

Mind made up, Virgil reached out to grab the egg. He cupped it gently, making note of shape and weight as he raised it up to his face; he couldn’t feel the texture through his gloves, but after closer inspection maybe he’d take the gloves off.

The egg was heavy for its size, and from what Virgil could tell through the worn hapose leather, it was cold and rough. Virgil brought it up to his face for a closer inspection of the colors and patterns decorating the shell.

“Are you sure you don’t know–” Virgil started, only to be cut off by the top of the egg lifting off to reveal a small, reptilian face.

Virgil blinked at it in shock, but before he could do anything, the small head shot forward and small fangs pierced the skin of his nose.

“GAH!” Virgil screeched, losing his grip on the egg in shock.

The egg fell to the ground where it uncurled along the brown lines to reveal a small snake-looking creature with thick armor along its back. The snake quickly slithered back to the nest where it curled back up, looking once more like an egg.

“What the fuck!?” Virgil hissed, clutching his lightly-bleeding nose with one hand.

Patton, having been attracted by Virgil’s yelps, came bounding over, stopping just short of the nest and huffing indignantly at the “egg”.

“Ah,” Logan said. “That is a fledgling of a Transformation Viper. Observing them in their fledgling stage is uncommon; this is a rare opportunity.”

“A transformation viper?” Virgil asked, grabbing the still huffing Patton and holding him out of reach of the alien viper. “Scientific name?”

“None available,” Logan answered.

“How can there be no scientific name available?”

“The planet of origin is unknown; therefore, a scientific name cannot be given. This species is quite difficult to track down, and finding a pure one is so rare that sequencing its original genome and thereby pinpointing its planet of origin has so far proven impossible.”

“Okay… so can’t we sequence this one?” Virgil asked.

“No,” the robot replied. “This transformation viper is no longer pure. Already its DNA is changing and integrating your DNA into its own genome.”

“It’s WHAT!?”

“A transformation viper gets its English name from its ability to integrate the DNA of other organisms into its own genome much like earth bacteria do when undergoing transformation. They acquire DNA from various donors by biting them — much like this one bit you just moments ago — and are capable of performing a complete overhaul of their physiology while in their fledgling stage; they continue this process after their fledgling stage, but they are no longer capable of making large physiological changes.”

“…so– I– it’s–” Virgil stuttered, his mind racing to try and keep up with all this new information. “That — that thing– the viper thing — is going to be a human?”

“There are no known occurrences of transformation vipers biting humans while in their fledgling stage,” Logan answered. “However, based on information from known transformation viper hybrids, this fledgling will become physically, mentally, and emotionally similar to a human young after emerging from its fledgling stage.”

“It’s gonna be a child?”

“Statistically speaking, that is the most likely outcome.”

“…I’m not ready to be a father.”

~~~

“I do not recommend–”

“I know, Lo,” Virgil sighed. “I know, but if this–” he gestured to the sealed box that he had carefully moved both the transformation viper and its (his, as Logan had informed him would be the most likely outcome) nest into earlier “–is going to become a sentient, partially human child, then I have some responsibility to take care of him, and that means bringing him onto the ship.”

“You have no such obligation to it,” Logan informed him. “It is a wild animal that was inhabiting a dying planet.”

“Too late,” Virgil sing-songed as he carefully transferred the ‘egg’ from its box to the terrarium he’d built for it over the last couple days. “He’s my son now; his name is Janus, after an old earth story.”

“You become attached to other life-forms much too easily,” Logan observed, unimpressed.

“The human pack-bond instinct is strong,” Virgil joked. He tested the lid of the terrarium to make sure that Janus wouldn’t escape until he’d left his fledgling stage and became less likely to bite the other occupants of Virgil’s ship. “Janus will understand when he’s older… probably.”

Having devoured every piece of information he could about transformation vipers, Virgil had come to the conclusion that towards the end of his fledgling stage, Janus’s armor would resolidify back into a real egg, which he would then hatch from as a viper/human hybrid baby. The best thing Virgil could do for him for now was keep him safe and warm.

Hence the terrarium.

Roman and Remus had landed on the lid of the terrarium and were inspecting their new shipmate carefully. There wasn’t much to see as Janus preferred to take the form of an egg unless he was threatened or hunting, but they were still curious.

Patton was much less interested in Janus, having decided on that first day that he didn’t like the viper. Mostly he either ignored the terrarium, or glowered at it from a distance.

Logan remained unimpressed by Virgil’s actions, but still monitored Janus’s development closely (the chance to observe a fledgling transformation viper was rare after all).

Over the next several weeks, Virgil continued his survey of the planet, moving from location to location every few days. In all the biomes he visited, he found signs of only the most resilient native species; by his estimations, over eighty percent of the native species of Illill-ii were completely extinct, and eighty-seven percent of the biomass was decimated.

The planet would never return to what it had been before the mining company had moved in; the best they could do was monitor it as it grew back.

Who knows, maybe new life will emerge from the destruction.

By the time it was time to depart from Illill-ii, Janus had exited his fledgling stage, and was now a proper egg once more. Though he had searched high and low, Virgil had been unable to find any trace of any other transformation viper on Illill-ii, leaving Janus’s origins as a complete mystery.

It happened on their tenth day in space.

They were ten days past Illill-ii, and two days out from Eco-6 (the station that Virgil normally operated out of), when the egg hatched.

Virgil’s ship was small — just a single person control room, one small living space that he had mostly set up as a lab, and a washroom that was little more than a closet. He hadn’t needed a whole lot of space, seeing as it was just him, a series N robot, a small pog, and two tiny fratoos.

Now though… Well, one tiny cot in the corner of a lab wasn’t going to be enough space for Virgil and a baby.

Virgil was lying on his cot — Patton curled up on his chest and Roman and Remus nesting peacefully in the folds of his blanket — when suddenly there were the quiet sounds of cracking, followed by much louder sounds of crying.

“The transformation viper has hatched,” Logan informed him needlessly from his charging port.

“Thanks, L!” Virgil pushed himself out of bed (careful not to send anyone flying) and launched himself across the room.

In the terrarium, the thick shell of the egg was now broken, strewn about the enclosure. Where the egg had once been, a baby — much smaller than a regular human baby, but the right size to have come out of the egg.

The baby’s skin was the same yellow as the egg shell, with purple freckles and small patches of green scales littering his body. His hair was thick, coarse, and brown, and in his mouth — open as he wailed — were two small fangs.

“Hi Janus,” Virgil breathed as he set about opening the terrarium.

Janus stopped crying at the sound of his voice and opened his eyes to blink owlishly up at him. His eyes were mismatched as they stared at Virgil in wonder — one very human, and green like Virgil’s own, and one very snake-like, slitted pupil and yellow iris.

Finally, Virgil had the terrarium lid open and lifted Janus out of the dirt. He was heavy for his size, and while he was much smaller than a newborn, he was also more developed than one, being able to sit up and support his neck without Virgil’s help.

“Welcome to the crew, kid.”

Roman and Remus hovered around Virgil’s head, watching the baby curiously. Roman in particular seemed to have caught Janus’s attention as the baby followed his movement closely.

“I do not recommend allowing–”

But Logan didn’t get a chance to finish his statement before Janus’s hand had suddenly shot out and snatched the little red fratoo right out of the air, and stuffed him into the baby’s mouth.

“NO!” Virgil screeched, prying the little guy out as he chittered and thrashed nervously.

Once Roman was freed from Janus’s mouth, he shot away, glaring at the baby from a safe distance from over by the monitor bank.

Patton, having been alarmed by both Virgil’s and Roman’s distress, was yipping frantically, bouncing all around. Remus, on the other hand, seemed amused by his brother’s sudden shock and was continuing to dart around Janus playfully.

Janus took a moment to realize that his chew toy had been taken away, before breaking into a new bout of wailing.

“It’s okay! It’s okay,” Virgil said, trying to soothe the upset baby. “We’ll find you something else to chew on. Something that isn’t alive, okay?”

He scanned frantically around the room, but unfortunately, he didn’t have much to offer that would be safe for a baby (he hadn’t exactly been expecting to acquire one while out doing routine field work). In the end, he had to make do with an old sock rolled up into a ball, and while that did soothe the baby, it wasn’t exactly an ideal solution.

“I do not recommend–”

“Then what do you recommend, Lo?” Virgil cut the robot off impatiently.

Logan did not reply.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Look, when we get back to base, I can get some baby-appropriate supplies, but until then, we have to work with what we’ve got, okay?”

“I recommend applying a clean towel as a diaper; sooner rather than later,” Logan finally said.

“Thanks, L,” Virgil sighed, the reality of having a — mostly — human baby finally hitting him.

It was going to be a long two days back to base.

~~~END~~~

I have a lot more thoughts about the biology of Janus’s species that didn’t fit into their fic, so if you want to hear them just let me know. I’d love be just go super-nerd

I spent a long time debating whether Janus should be a transformation viper or a conjugation viper, but I decided that transformation was closer to what he was doing (but I still think conjugation sounds cooler)

Might make this into a series idk

General taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @knight-shives @misunderstood-shadowling

#sanders sides #ts sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #space au #space ecologist au #alien au #platonic dlampr #familial Anxceit #platonic anxceit #thursday writes #my writing #sanders sides fanfiction

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imma-potatoo · 2 years

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For the ship bingo, anxceit?

Also love you Cali!!💛💛

Eeyyy!!! Love ya too!

Anxceit is such good shit, I like it both ways honestly? Platonic/familial or romantic, both are so good..

Canon anxceit is toxic as fuck, but I love fanon anxceit

#potatorandoms #ask game #ask

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cactus-flavor · 7 months

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For the ship bingo:

Anxceit

and

Intruloceit

Ok Anxceit first:

I need them in an AU and/or slightly toxic *or* so out of character soft and over the moon that they'd die for each other and no one else

Not a big fan of the exes cause Virgil left the dark side thing - unless it's funny

Uses to be a ship I didnt sail on until a friend converted me

Is either the best or doesnt interest me at all, no inbetween

Intruloceit next

It's good, i get it but then i think about it more and rotate them in my head just go hmmm? How? Would you? Work?

Cause Janus and Remus are either Their Assigned Person or platonic only and i cant fit Logan in there

Logan and Janus (again AU only) I can see, they're the morally grey power couple, Remus doesnt do it for me when inserted in that dynamic, I just cant help seeing him feeling inferior (which is wildly out of character) or a disturbance and thats making me sad

Remus and Logan are what happens when a scientist falls in love with his experiment and i dig that so so much. I need them to be fucked up together. Janus would hold them back with his schemes and self control, they need to be unhinged

Platonic? Best of friends, wildest of shit, i'm so down

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thatgenderlessentity · 2 years

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Virgil- *Taking drink from Janus* OK, you've had enough.

Janus- I'm fine.

Virgil- No, you're not. God, I thought I knew you. What happened?

Janus- Well, you should have known better.

Virgil- Liar! Just cut the crap and accept the fact that I care about you, you piece of-

Janus- You just can't accept the fact that you're wrong about something for once in your pretty little life.

Janus- You haven't been able to look reality in the face since-

Virgil- How dare you. How dare you! You have no right-

Janus- Go ahead yell at me, punch me, spit in my face see if I care it's all been done to me before!

Janus- You know you meant everything to me once upon a time ago,

Janus- But it's obvious I mean nothing to you.

Virgil- *mumbling* I hate you.

Virgil- I hate you so much! The worse part of this all is I know I hate myself even more.

Janus- Then let me cut you off, you let me go and don't come back.

Source: ColeyDoesThings popular fanfiction tropes (Part 2)

#sanders sides #sanders sides incorrect quotes #virgil sanders #ts virgil #janus sanders #ts janus #Source: ColeyDoesThings popular fanfiction tropes (Part 2)#virgil angst #janus angst #toxic anxceit #tw yelling #tw shouting #tw swearing #tw arguing #tw implied alcohol #anxceit angst

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sablesides-ask-blog · 3 years

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Can You Do “Shhh. Don’t try to think. I will think for you.” With Anxceit? (Also, Are You Okay Cori? You Need A Hug Or Something??)

Neither Virgil nor Janus were really sure how they ended up in a relationship.

All they knew was that one moment that growled and snarled and hissed if one so much as glimpsed the other.

And the next Virgil was desperately clinging to Janus' capelet like it was a life preserver, to say nothing of what happened when he took it off.

They still hated each other of course, that was what they told everyone.

This was a relationship of convenience and nothing else.

Merely a result of Virgil's poor decision making and self preservation skills.

"Gods could you be any louder?." Virgil snarled, slamming his fists on his vanity counter.

"I could, yes, but I get the feeling you're being rhetorical arent you darling?" Janus said with a smirk.

"Dont you darling me you slimey eccentric little-" Virgil was caught midsentence by a kiss to the lips, which he melted into almost instantaneously.

"You were saying, darling?"

"Gods you make it impossible to think sometimes dotn you." Virgil groaned.

"Well maybe you shouldnt think at all, it doesn't suit you very well," Janus said, caressing Virgil's cheek.

"Yeah right, me, stop thinking, let me know when you think you can fix that." Virgil shot back.

"Actually, I can," Janus said with a smirk, producing a pocket watch from his. . . Pocket.

"Hypnosis? Seriously? You know that doesnt actually work right." Virgil said, staring in disbelief.

"Just sit down." Janis ordered, Virgil complied, albeit with a large hint of annoyance.

He watched as Janus let the watch dangle in front of him.

Watched as it swayed.

Left

Right

Left

Right

Left

Right

He was starting to feel sleepy, eyelids heavy and the world a hazed and blurry mess.

"Dont bother thinking anymore. . . I will think for you,"

What had they been arguing about? Why did they even argue, Janus always won didnt he? There wasnt really a point in it.

"How do you feel darling?" Virgil let out a purr as he felt Janus' fingers dragging under his chin.

"I love you. . ." Virgil muttered.

"I love you too darling," Janus replied, the faintest hint of sadness in his voice.

#cori answers #ts janus #ts virgil #anxceit #romantic anxceit #toxic anxceit #toxic relationship #tw hypnosis #tw self destructive behavior #theyll work it out eventually #virgils a little stupid tho

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anti-virgil · 4 years

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What is your ideal unsympathetic Virgil fanfic?? I need new content to write

My favorite 2 things:

-Toxic Anxceit

Nobody realizes what's going on because Virgil's An Angel

They think Deceit's the abusive one

They don't believe De

Virgil gaslights and guilt trips him to all hell

Both physical & emotional abuse

Depending on when in the timeline it takes place; I like toxic Anxceit pre-virgil leaving. I like toxic anxceit where virgil pretends to accept and "forgive" de after leaving

Virgil convincing Deceit to join/add onto conversations less and less unless he's on Virgil's side

Deceit maybe starts fading because he isn't being listened to anymore

Virgil forcing him to keep it a secret

"I'm the only one who cares about you :)"

Virgil purposely turning the others against Deceit and isolating him

Maybe he tries to remove Deceit's scales "because they're ugly and make you look like a villainous, monster of a freak"

Casual abuse, physically and emotionally

One day Virgil slips up and verbally abuses Deceit in front of the others

The others freeze at what they're hearing but Deceit just nods and agrees with whatever Virgil said (ex. "You're such a worthless dumb ass!" "I know, I'm sorry.")

-Toxic Prinxiety

Once again, no one realizes what's going on

(Optional u!patton) Patton knowing and still siding with Virgil like ":) well you were mean to him before so :)"

Virgil constantly manipulating, belittling, gaslighting, and guilt tripping Roman

Virgil being super emotionally abusive towards Roman

Roman being physically stronger but still being a victim (this isn't seen enough in fanfic or talked about enough irl)

Virgil occasionally being a bit physical too (a slap, a punch in the shoulder, etc)

Virgil calling Roman fat and forcing him to eat less

Virgil picking at Roman's insecurities and weak spots

Roman being quieter and keeping to himself

The others praising his silence

The others praising how well he and Virgil get along now

Nobody realizes anything's wrong until Thomas just. Can't create anything other than Remus' things.

Virgil getting mad at Ro for that

#ask #unsympathetic virgil #abusive virgil #unsympathetic patton #toxic prinxiety #toxic anxceit #abusive prinxiety #abusive anxceit

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hurting-janus-hours · 4 years

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(I don’t know what sort of warnings to put, but u!virgil, toxic anxceit and manipulation)

Imagine with me, Janus spent a lot of time on his own when he was young until Virgil came to him. They soon became friends yada yada yada, Virgil’s friendship slowly turning toxic (or was he toxic since the beginning and came to Janus because he saw he was alone and that would make him easier to manipulate?)

A few remarks about the scales here and there push Janus to cover them up (hiding his skin with long sleeves, a capulet, a hat because his hair looks ‘stupid’). Virgil starts telling him that “He is the only one that would be there for him”, that Janus is “Lucky to have him” or that “He is the only one that can stand him”.

Eventually, since noone else was there for him and Virgil was the only one thay showed him a bit of “affection” (as he calls it), Janus falls in love with him (which only makes it easier for Virgil to manipulate him). But now, consider this: Virgil is in love with Roman while he dates Deceit. He only kisses Janus’ right side (because he looks just like Roman like that), makes him turn his face so he wouldn’t have to see his scales etc. And he uses Janus as a replacement for Roman.

(Happy ending if Roman finds out about this and helps Janus, and eventual Roceit?)

#prinxiety mention #roceit mention #unsympathetic virgil #toxic relationship #toxic anxceit #emotional manipulation #submission #sympathetic deceit

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ambersky0319 · 4 years

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Abusive anxceit: Virgil will pull off one of Janus's scales every time Janus makes a mistake or says anything against Virgil. One time Janus tried to tell Patton and even showed him the scars and Patton laughed in Janus's face and claimed that Janus was just hurting himself for attention. Patton told Virgil and Virgil almost burnt off Janus's eye, that's why there's a pinkish purple bit of skin around it.

I love that you gave a reason for the pink patch around Janus's eye but oh my stars-

Listen I love the "unsymp!side pulls/slices off Janus's scales" kind of stories okay- I am absolutely weak for them and I feel like I was stabbed every time without fail

And then Patton.

The question is do we bury Patton and Virgil together or separately?

#toxic anxceit #abusive virgil #unsympathetic virgil #virgil sanders #janus sanders #unsympathetic patton #patton sanders #tw burns #tw burning #tw injury #tw torture #tw abuse #(ask to tag)#ambersky ask #ask #anon #anonymous

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merpisi · 4 years

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*Long dramatic as fuck sigh*

Ah, to be a Janus Stan but also a fan of abusive anxceit

*slaps my hand to my forehead as I fall back onto the couch, like the gay bitch I am*

How miserable

What I’m saying is that there’s not enough abusive anxceit fics with U!Virgil and that’s very unsexy of all of you

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides ship #anxceit #abusive anxceit #toxic anxceit #unsympathetic virgil mention #janus sanders

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starlocked01 · 4 years

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These Words are Knives

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: Virgil doesn't like being a secret boyfriend. He honestly just wants his soulmate to be able to be himself at home and at work. But has Janus ever been himself with anyone? Remus probably. But Virgil and Remus don't know about each other and that's about to become everyone's problem

Content Warning: Unsympathetic Janus, Swearing, Fighting, Capslock, Emotional Abuse and Manipulation

Day 28 Anxceitmus- A sentence appears on your arm each night recapping something your soulmate said that day. Modified so that it only shows up after you've met them in person.

"If you love me, let me go If you love me, let me go These words are knives that often leave scars The fear, the fear of falling apart Truth be told I never was yours The fear, the fear of falling apart" -This is Gospel Panic! at the Disco

"Oh yes, my girlfriend and I enjoy true crime shows pretty often."

Virgil sighed, staring at the golden letters glowing on his skin. It stung a lot to see his soulmate lie like this every night.

He turned over in bed to face Janus, "I hate your boss."

"Mmhmm, me too," Janus replied flatly, not taking his eyes off the newspaper.

"I shouldn't have to see this. You shouldn't have to keep me hidden from your coworkers," Virgil felt anger knotting at the bottom of his stomach. It truly wasn't fair.

"If he finds out I'm gay, he will fire me. I'm not having this discussion right now," Janus declared with a tone of finality.

"I'm not asking you to out yourself, I'm just upset about the situation," Virgil twisted onto his back and stared at the ceiling, "what does yours say?"

Janus gave an exasperated sigh and made a show of rolling up his sleeve before reading the shiny purple text, "'Oh my god, that would definitely have killed me!' Honestly, Virgil, it was a mouse. Bit of an overreaction."

"Whatever, good night."

"Virgil?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"Love you too."

Well, it wasn't a lie, Virgil is far too trusting of him for him to not mean it when he says he loves him.

Janus could remember back when they'd first met, Virgil wouldn't even give him his phone number. It had been a tedious process getting the anxious man to open up, and it was more than worth it to Janus. The problems only started when he'd met her.

Remus had been completely unexpected; Janus had literally run into her on his way to work. He panicked that first night the neon green script appeared on his arm opposite the purple text. Remus was also his soulmate and unlike Virgil, she was eager to know Janus.

Janus had made his decision to keep his second soulmate a secret the moment he saw the text, and now he sat like a spider atop his web of lies.

Janus glanced over at Virgil as he lay there, clearly not asleep yet, and started humming a lullaby that usually helped Virgil relax. The tension in his shoulders started to ease and soon he was snoring. Janus folded up the newspaper and took the disposable phone out of his nightstand.

R<3: heyyyy sexy i wanna c u tomrw ;]

He smiled and responded, keeping an eye on Virgil to make sure he was still asleep.

J: I agree, at our usual place?

R<3: !!!!!!

He quickly shut off the phone and hid it again before turning off the bedside lamp and rolling over to fall asleep. ---- Truth be told, it was simply easier to talk about Remus at work because they went by multiple pronouns. It also helped that they didn't immediately get suspicious anytime Janus brought them up. Virgil’s concern could be overbearing and it was just easier to stay under the radar of homophobic coworkers who would no longer respect him if they found out.

He didn't feel good about lying; it was survival. But he was good at it.

"Jan!" Remus waved him over as soon as he arrived at the restaurant. He smiled and joined them at their table, "it's been too long, why are you avoiding me?" Remus asked with a grin.

"I'm not, I just don't want to interrupt your work," Janus smirked, taking a sip of his water.

"What? You don't think I could handle you trying to distract me?" Remus laughed happily, leaning over to kiss their soulmate’s cheek.

They laughed and joked all through dinner, gossiping about coworkers, generally having a good time. The time got away from Janus and it was midnight before he realized how late it had gotten.

"Oh! I want to see what your soul mark says today!" Remus beamed, excitedly rolling up their own sleeve.

"You do tend to have quite… entertaining quotes," Janus' smile hid his irritation but he obliged, rolling up his sleeve as well, "'Why don't we eat the babies and call it Swifting?' Really, Remus? Do I want context?"

"You remember 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift, right?" he giggled, reading his own quote of the day, "'Honestly, Virgil, it was a mouse.' Huh…" Remus looked confused, "who's Virgil? You don't talk about him but I see his name come up pretty often."

"A coworker. He's not very pleasant to talk with but we often have projects together," the lie was smooth as silk. He knew this one would happen someday and had prepared.

Remus glanced over and saw a streak of purple along Janus’ wrist of his other arm, "what's that?" they grabbed Janus' wrist and pushed the sleeve up before he could protest. They read the words out loud, "'sup, fellow cryptids? I'm your host, Virgil Keir and it's time to talk about why you absolutely should run to the woods to date the Fae.' Wait…" Remus looked up knowingly, "Virgil is your soulmate, not your coworker."

"He can be both. Like I said, he's not easy to get along with-" Janus was sweating under his collar.

"I want to meet him!" Remus exclaimed.

"Why?' Janus was genuinely puzzled by their reaction.

"Hello! I love his youtube channel and you're my easy in! Plus he's your soulmate so he's gotta be important to you, which makes him all the more important to me," Remus grinned happily, "I swear I'm not jealous that you have two soulmates."

Janus let the comment slide past him, "I'll talk with him, but he's rather private. He may not want to meet you. I mean, he hasn't asked about you at all."

"Alright alright. Thanks, Jan!" Remus kissed him again, "wanna stay the night?" they asked with a wink.

"Not tonight, we both have work tomorrow and it's late enough already," Janus gave them a silvery smile while standing to pay the bill.

"Aw man, I can't wait to tell Stormy about this!" Remus pulled out their phone and was already texting with fire in their eyes.

"Who’s Stormy?" Janus asked hesitantly.

"Tumblr mutual. He's like the biggest fan of 'Mothman Mondays'. He'll be so stoked!"

"Ah- well have fun with that. Goodnight, darling," Janus left quickly. This needed to be contained. ---- Virgil stared at his phone in disbelief.

thotiestthoughts: stormy ull nvr guess!!

thotiestthoughts: my soulmate knows Virgil K!!!

Thoti was probably Virgil’s favorite fan, they messaged on tumblr all the time and had become quite good friends, but it was through his anonymous account not the official blog for his show. He debated how he would respond before typing back.

stormcloud07734: wow what a coincidence. r u secretly him? ;)

The best defense is a strong offense, right?

thotiestthoughts: !!!! im so excite!!!!!!

stormcloud07734: that means u must live pretty close to him

thotiestthoughts: u think hes in Orlando???

Virgil smiled. He knew he was in Orlando. But he had a better idea.

stormcloud07734: don't know about Virgil but im in Orlando. wanna meet up?

His heart was pounding. If this were anyone else but thoti he'd never consider it.

thotiestthoughts: OMG WHEN? RN?

stormcloud07734: how about tomorrow?

Virgil smiled at thoti's enthusiasm. They both picked a local cafe to meet in the afternoon and signed off for the night. Virgil didn’t even wait for Janus to get home before falling asleep. ---- Virgil got to the cafe an hour early. He could barely feel his own breathing as his heart felt like it filled his whole chest and stomach. What if he was wrong and thoti turned out to be a creep or stalker? What if he was never heard from again? He hadn't even said goodbye to Janus that morning. He tried to scroll tumblr to calm down, tried to research for his next episode, anything to distract himself from the anticipation and anxiety.

Remus couldn't wait to meet stormy and was practically bouncing around the back seat of xyr Uber. He'd given xem his phone number since they'd never shared photos and xe was trying desperately to not call before xe got to the cafe.

About a block away xyr phone started ringing. It was stormy.

"Hello?" Xe answered breathlessly.

An all too familiar voice answered xem, "hey, thoti, I know you're not here just yet but I have a bit of a confession to make."

"Virgil…" Remus was practically shoved out of the car by the driver as xe was paralyzed in shock. Xe looked up and saw the familiar pale face, purple hair with swooping bangs and dark eyeshadow smiling at him from a table in the corner, phone held to his face.

"Yup, sorry," Virgil hung up as Remus walked over, mouth agape.

"All this time?" xe asked, not ready to sit at the table with one of xyr favorite minor celebrities.

"Yeah, I kinda like participating in cryptid culture without being hounded about my videos," Virgil shrugged with a grin, "come on, sit down. I'm a lot more like stormcloud than I am like my videos."

"I'm Remus," xe stuck out xyr hand.

"Virgil," he snickered and pinched Remus' fingers with three of his own and gave a curt little shake. Xe laughed and sat down across the table, fidgeting with xyr hoodie strings. Virgil gave xem a long look over, "so your soulmate knows me?"

"Oh yeah, I kinda found out last night and asked him to ask you to meet me so if he brings that up, sorry. I just got really excited about it," Remus blushed in embarrassment, "hopefully Janus will be cool about it."

Virgil stopped mid-sip of a mocha latte, "Janus?"

"Yeah, our soulmate."

"You're his soulmate too? I don't believe you," Virgil shook his head.

"I saw both lines of writing on his arms last night, I'm sure of it!" Remus' grin began to falter, "but whatever, right? We're not here to talk about soulmates. I've been so excited to meet you."

"Hang on, how long?" Virgil demanded.

"How long what? My d-"

"How long have you been soulmates?" Virgil smacked the table.

"About 5 months," Remus looked down at the table. This was going terribly.

"Janus has been my soulmate for 2 years and he never brought up a second soulmate. I can't-" Virgil looked like something inside him was dying, "why wouldn't he mention you?"

"He- oh my god he doesn't want me around… and you probably hate me just for existing…" Remus looked up as Virgil laid a hand gently on xyrs.

"No. I don't hate you. We're going to get to the bottom of this." ---- Virgil sat in bed next to Janus who was preoccupied with a book. He didn't know how to bring up Remus and every moment he felt sicker and sicker in his stomach. The frequent fights, the talk at work about a girlfriend, the distance between them, when he thought about it he realized it had only really started 5 months ago.

Janus reached out to take his hand and Virgil instinctively pulled away.

"What's wrong, Virgil?" Janus asked sweetly.

"Don't touch me," he muttered just as the clock struck midnight. He glanced at the yellow text without bothering to read it, "I bet this one is a lie too."

"Virgil, what do you mean? You're acting suspicious," Janus’ mind was reeling. He'd forgotten what Virgil had said he was going to do that day and didn't expect him to be so hostile. He glanced down at the purple text on his arm and asked, "who's 'thoti', Virgil?"

Virgil started to reply when he saw a flash of green on his own arm. He looked and was surprised to find a second soul mark in a dark green scrawl. His phone was ringing and he didn't even need caller ID to know who it was, "are you seeing this too, Rem?" Virgil's eyes flicked over to Janus and narrowed, "a second soulmate, who could have guessed?" Janus kept his face impressively passive at the news and subtle accusation, "okay, see you soon."

Virgil hung up and glared at Janus who simply repeated, "who's 'thoti', Virgil?"

"You insufferable bastard! You know exactly who xe is, your 'girlfriend' our soulmate," Virgil scowled, ready to tear out a throat and leave the body for the wolves. He saw that Remus had texted him that xe was 10 minutes away. Janus had nowhere to run now.

"Her name is Remus. Why would I assume she was your soulmate or that you would give her such a disrespectful nickname?" Janus tried to steer the conversation in his favor.

"You're going to accuse me of disrespect? For the last five months, you have done nothing but lie to us and you're saying I'm the disrespectful one? You can't deflect your way out of this one, babe," Virgil felt his eye twitch. Remus better get there fast if he wanted both soulmates intact.

Virgil was screaming and beating Janus with a pillow when the doorbell rang.

"What the fuck? Is this a confrontation or a sleepover?" Remus burst in the door, finding it unlocked. He ran over and pulled Virgil off of Janus, getting a face full of feathers in the process.

"Oh just casual domestic abuse," Janus picked himself off the floor as Virgil struggled to get out of Remus' grasp.

"I'm going to make him pay, one way or another!" Virgil snarled.

"I don't know, Virgil, I think we can work this out," he blurted out.

Virgil stared at Remus dumbfounded, "you think what? Work this out? He's lied to you the whole time you've known him!"

"So did you," Remus looked down as if ashamed to say it out loud, "I thought you were stormcloud. I gushed about Virgil to you for hours and you never thought to tell me who you really were. I bet you even got content ideas from me and never had to credit them. So how is that different, if not worse, than Janus being scared of you doing exactly what you're doing right now?"

"You really think having an anonymous tumblr is worse than being manipulated for years? Is that what I'm hearing, Remus?"

"I think you're overreacting. I want to try and fix this relationship because we're soulmates and we should be able to make it work," Remus sighed, turning away from Virgil, "I'm not cutting anyone off."

"It's alright, Virgil. I forgive you. Let's figure this out together-"

"NO!" something snapped. Virgil squared up, facing the other two, "get out."

"Virgil," Janus took a step towards him.

"I said, Get Out."

"Oh, did you forget? The lease is in my name. I'm not leaving my fucking apartment. If you don't want to work with us then you can work on getting your own place to live," Janus’ look turned smug and cold as ice.

"Janus, don't kick him out," Remus looked as though he were about to spiral into a panic attack. If he'd just kept his mouth shut for once maybe-

"No, he's right. He holds shelter and food over my head to keep me in line so he can keep a secret fuck boy on the side and expects me to 'work it out' like I'm too scared to fend for myself. Fuck you," Virgil started to laugh with tears streaming down his cheeks. He turned and grabbed his backpack, walking to their room to grab as much of his stuff as he could. Remus followed him, holding Janus back from saying anything more.

"Virgil, please. I don't want to lose you," Remus pleaded softly.

"I thought you were pissed at me for being a liar on the internet," Virgil muttered.

"Maybe, but if I'm willing to forgive Janus don't you think I can forgive you too?" Remus held up his arm to block the door.

Virgil stopped with a heavy exhausted sigh, "I don't want your forgiveness. Remus, if you love me, let me go."

Virgil watched as a tear slipped down Remus' face and he lowered his arm. The rage that fueled him broke and he grabbed Remus in a hug. The other stiffened, uncertain, before relaxing and hugging Virgil back.

"I didn't want to leave you; I just can't stay with him," Virgil fought to keep his voice from trembling as much as his shoulders were shaking.

"I'll see if my landlord can add you on my lease… that way you don't have to leave?" Remus offered hopefully.

"That sounds like a thousand more nights spent screaming. Not a good idea," Virgil broke away from the hug, "thank you, Remus."

"You… you know how to find me if you need me," Remus laughed sullenly.

"Thanks. I'm sorry."

Remus only nodded as Virgil made for the front door.

"If you leave right now, you'll never see him again," Janus spoke from his place on the couch, wine glass in hand, and already half-empty in the short time Virgil spent packing.

"I know. Anything to keep me from fighting you, right? Just watch me find a way to be happy, asshole," Virgil spat before walking out without a second glance back. ---- "Virgil?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"No, you don't!" Virgil hissed, pushing himself away as hard as he could.

"Virgil, I know I'm not your soulmate but I am confident about my feelings for you," Logan looked confused and hurt but all Virgil could see was a cold, sly smile he'd tried so hard to forget. Reality started to blur and Virgil began to hyperventilate while the smirk leered closer, "Virgil, it's me, Logan. In for four."

Virgil focused on the calming voice and followed its instructions. After a few minutes, he could see Logan’s living room, feel the blanket tangled around their feet, the soft touch of his best friend pulling him back from the edge.

"Logan, I- I'm-"

"Don't apologize. There's nothing to apologize for," Logan held him close, resting his chin in Virgil’s hair, "you were clearly triggered. I did not mean to hurt you and your lashing out wasn't directed at me."

"But I know you aren't him, it's not fair for me to treat you that way," Virgil shuddered, pushing in to be as close to Logan as possible.

"Perhaps not, but I'm choosing to forgive it because I know this isn't easy for you," Logan smiled rubbing small circles on his back, "I will learn one thousand different ways to show you my appreciation and care if those three little words are ineffective and harmful to you."

"I don't deserve you," Virgil's voice was muffled as he buried his face in Logan’s chest to hide the tears threatening to spill over.

"No, you deserve so much more than I can give you, and you didn't deserve what happened in the past," Logan kissed the top of his head sweetly.

Virgil choked back a sob, "don't your soulmates hate me?"

Logan sighed, "no. They are happy together and I am happy for them. It has been a while since I've talked to either Patton or Roman, but I think they're okay with me finding you. Not every breakup is toxic, nor are all soulbonds romantic."

They stayed curled together like that on the couch for quite a while, the movie they'd been watching left forgotten on pause.

"Are you happy, Logan?" Virgil whispered, breaking the easy silence.

"With you, yes."

"Promise?"

"I promise I won't lie to you. I am happy with you, Stormcloud," Logan squeezed him tighter, trying to impart every ounce of his love with the application of force. He never wanted to be the one hurting Virgil, and if he ever met Janus or Remus, there was a baseball bat with their names on it in the corner.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit @tsshipmonth2020

#tsshipmonth2020 #Soulmate September 2020 #toxic anxceitmus #toxic anxceit #unsympathetic janus #platonic analogical #angst #hurt comfort #emotional manipulation #emotional abuse #swearing #fighting #this hurt so much to write

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exhaustedauthor · 4 years

Text

Spreading Like Poison- Ch. 1

Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch. 4

It was movie night. The first one Janus was allowed to go to as the famILY. Inevitably, he was met with some nerves. For one, Roman didn’t really like him still, and Virgil’s reassurance of the matter didn't help. Second, He wasn’t sure how Logan would react either, especially after Janus actually taking his cane and pulling him offscreen.

Janus zipped up his Scooby-Doo onesie and steeled his nerves. Virgil would be there. Virgil liked him. He hoped. Because if not, then that meant no more famILY dinners, since Janus knew that this was all Patton's attempt to be a nice person and make him feel included.

He trudged down the stairs and into the living room where the others were waiting.

“Hey, kiddo! Make yourself comfy!” Patton beamed at him.

Janus’ stomach tied itself in knots as he sat by Virgil's feet, who he was dating.

Roman bounced into the room with a large bag of Doritos. “I brought snacks!” He bellowed. “Doritos!!”

Virgil scoffed. “What? No! Why don't you get some potato chips instead?”

“Because Doritos are better!”

“No, potato chips!”

“Patton, Logan what do you think?” Roman asked.

“I have no personal preference, seeing as they both are harmful to your teeth.” Logan said, not even looking up from his book.

“They’re both good, ” Patton said. “I like them both!”

Remus shrugged. “I prefer deodorant, and when I’m feeling dangerous.. I drink bleach.”

“Janus, what do you say?” Roman and Virgils stare bored into him. Surely Virgil wouldn’t get mad if he sided with Roman because this was such a small argument, it had no real impact.

“I like Doritos better.” He shrugged.

Virgil kicked him a little in the back, not enough to be noticeable but enough to hurt.

Roman grinned triumphantly at Virgil, not noticing the kick. “Thank you, Hazard Macaroni.”

Janus winced. “Hazard Macaroni? I thought it was Danger Noodle.”

“Yeah, but you're the shortest, so..”

Remus snorted. “You guys could just use my nickname for him, Double D.”

“Please don't,” Janus said. “Hazard Macaroni is fine, thank you.”

“So, I was thinking in honor of Janus’s acceptance we should watch the new Scooby Doo movie, Scoob! What do you think, Jan?” Patton said.

Janus gasped. “Really??” His spirits were lifting.

“Of course!”

--time skip--

“What the fuck was that?” Virgil shoved Janus.

“Wh-what?” Janus was confused.

“I thought I told you that you needed to side with me more?! I’m your boyfriend for fucks sake.” He looked pissed.

“Is this over the Doritos? But that doesn’t even matter!”

“I. Don't. Care. We talked about this, Janus! Every single time I try to make a point you contradict it.” Virgil flopped on his bed. “This could’ve been practicing! But no!

“Look, its late and you're tired. We should talk about this in the morning, when you've cooled off and I’ll actually remember the conversation we have.” Janus tried for a smile, but quickly wiped it off when Virgil stood up and took a threatening step closer.

“Want to go to your room? Fine. Just go ahead and say that you're cheating on me with Roman. Or even Remus. Just say that you hate me already.” Virgil snarled.

“What?! No! I would never do that! Virgil, I-”

“Then stay with me tonight.”

“Ok, I will.” When Virgil's glare didn't lessen, Janus added on a quick, “I’m sorry.”

Virgil relaxed and unclenched his fists. “Lets go to sleep.”

Janus only nodded.

---time skip---

Janus woke up to an empty bed. When he first realized this, he bolted straight upright. The smell of lavender was strong, but it just wasn’t Virgil. He got up and looked all around the room and there was no Virgil.

He wandered downstairs to check if Virgil was there, and to his disappointment, he was. And he was play flirting with Roman.

Janus felt his heart drop. He hadn’t been a good enough boyfriend for him..

Virgil finally looked up and caught his eye. “What?” He scoffed. “Can I not have friends, or are you that much of an asshole?”

Janus didnt say a word as he trudged back upstairs, this time to his room to cry.

Around an hour later, a knock sounded at his door.

“Its open,” Janus said miserably, hugging his snake plush to his chest.

He heard Virgil “tch,” like Bakugou. “You didn't have to be such a crybaby about it. I was just messing around.”

“And thats the problem. You're always just messing around with someone! Logan, Roman, Remus, all of them!” Janus stood up angrily glared at Virgil. “I feel like you do it just to mess with me!”

Virgil rolled his eyes and pushed Janus back down on the bed, his hand resting on his shoulder, keeping him down. “Please, like you don't literally hate everything that comes out of my mouth. You’re the bad boyfriend.”

That stung. He absolutely hated it when someone called him bad. He felt his heart sink even lower. Virgil was right, he was a bad boyfriend. Virgil was loyal, he wouldn’t ever cheat, especially not to just screw with Janus. He hung his head. “Im sorry, I didn’t mean to go off like that. I’ll try not to do it again.”

“Don't try. Just do.” Virgil said, pushing down harder on Janus’s shoulder. He winced and resisted from shifting in discomfort.

“I will.”

Virgil stared into his eyes. “Are you lying to me?”

“No! No, I’m not lying to you, I swear.”

“I’m not sure I believe you.” Virgil narrowed his eyes, squeezing the shoulder.

Janus yelped as Virgil's fingers dug into his shoulder blade. “I swear! I swear I’m not lying to you! I’m sorry, sorry sorry!”

Virgil raised an eyebrow and his hand left his shoulder. “How about that talk now?”

“..ok.” Janus rubbed his shoulder, grimacing.

“Look at me.” Virgil said, his voice going soft. “You know I love you, right? I just.. I’m overprotective of things. Of you, my opinion…” He sighed. “ I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t contradict it, because then I have to choose between two things I want to protect. And I get overwhelmed when that happens. Its just that- that, I dunno, I get scared that you are going to leave me, or kick me out again, and-”

“Virgil, I wouldn’t kick you out again! I love you too, its ok. I’m sorry for the first time. Honest.”

“I know, and I’ve forgiven you, but just… I get so scared about it. I don’t want that to happen.” Virgil dropped his head into his hands and rubbed at his face.

Janus rubbed his back in a (hopefully) soothing way. “It’s ok, love. I won't leave you.”

“Promise you’re telling the truth?”

“Cross my heart.” Janus leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple and hugged him. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too. Now c’mon, lets go back downstairs, huh?” Virgil stood up.

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anti-patton · 4 years

Note

Gonna project for a hot sec, but Patton acting like nobody can have negative opinions and saying it ticks him off when anyone feels anything but love and adoration for him or anyone else (bonus points if Virgil and Janus recently broke up because Virgil was being toxic and awful, but extremely manipulative so Janus still thinks he may like Virgil. Eventually he realizes that Virgil was shitty so he goes to Patton [1/2]

And he talks it out with Patton and he's like "Hey I don't think I have positive feelings for Virgil anymore" And Patton's like "How dare you, you should have at least some positive feelings for everyone" and pushes Virgil and Janus to get back together even though it will probably hurt Janus [2/2]

He fuckin would he's the type to be like "Why can't we all just be friends???" After a major fight occured even if most of the sides are against the behavior of one.

#patton negativity #stress answers #micaaaaa #toxic anxceit #implied unsympathetic virgil #unsympathetic patton

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siren1song · 4 years

Text

Far as He Could Go

Summary: Deceit realizes he's made a mistake. One that's taken many years to develop.

Warnings: Toxic relationship, manipulation, implied unsympathetic Deceit (he's not technically unsympathetic, but he sure did fuck up), unrequited feelings, no happy ending

Pairing: Anxceit (not a healthy relationship)

Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @emo-disaster, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @sleepy-sides, @gattonero17, @izzynuggets, @another-sandersidesblog, @strawberryjellystuff, @remusownsmyuwus, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit, @demidork84, @gr3ml1n-loser, @main-chive, @kiribakuandcats, @firey-alex

Commissions!! | Buy Me a Kofi!! | Join Casper's Crew!!

Notes: I heard like two lines from It Took Me By Surprise by Maria Mena and I decided to write angst. A rare occurrence, I know.

Deceit had a desire for control. He had a desperation to be the one to call the shots, an obsession with being on top.

And in the end that's what fucked him over.

There wasn't an intention to be as… manipulative as he now recognized his actions to be. That hadn't been what he wanted, but it's what he got.

His actions lead to genuine hatred from the one side he wanted to love him.

Deceit wasn't sure when it had started. When they were kids and he had spun lies about the hatred from others and Virgil reacted by making Thomas quieter?

Back then their functions had been different. Deceit had just been deceit, and Virgil had been caution and self preservation.

Was it when they were teens and Deceit's lies had turned Virgil from caution to anxiety?

Deceit being self preservation now had a bit of irony, didn't it? Considering he'd destroyed his sense of home and belonging.

Whenever it had started, it had ended now.

Now when he had tried following Virgil to the light sides. Had heard them use his name that had taken him years to share with even Deceit.

He just hadn't realized it had ended, when he showed up to Virgil's room after the video to talk to him. Ask what the hell did he think he was doing?

"Why the hell do you care?" Virgil had snapped, and Deceit had gone quiet.

His silence made a noticeable spike in anxiety of the room's atmosphere.

Deceit's eyes widened when he noticed the fear and hatred in Virgil's eyes.

"What? You're gonna yell at me for standing my ground? Why not, you've done it for years every time I tried making myself known."

Wait that's not-

Except… it was, wasn't it?

"Virgil-"

"Don't call me that. You lost that right when I realized just how fucked up you treated me."

Deceit could feel his heart sink into his stomach.

This isn't how he wanted things to go. He'd just wanted to know when he'd become friends with them.

"Get out, Deceit. I don't want to see you in my room again," Virgil said, crossing his arms over his chest and leveling Deceit with a glare that turned his blood to ice.

His function raced through his ears. Virgil hadn't called him Deceit in private since they were kids.

"Wait, Vir- Anxiety, can you… Can you listen to me for a second?" he asked, verbally backpedaling because this situation was suddenly so far out of his control.

Virgil scoffed.

"What, like you ever listened to me? Every time I tried to tell you how I thought something should go instead of how you planned it, you brushed me off."

Deceit's eyes were burning. Tears filling his eyes because Virgil's words stung with the truth of them.

"God, you're gonna cry now too? Fuck, Deceit, what do you want?" Virgil hissed, lip curling into a snarl.

He saw no sympathy in his eyes.

"I-"

Wait. The truth, maybe that would save this situation? It was something he didn't usually resort to but…

"I want you to love me, I just-"

Virgil cut him off with a scoff, storming closer and not pausing when Deceit stumbled out of his way. He yanked his door open, and placed his palm flat on his chest.

"That's your problem," he snapped, and then promptly shoved Deceit out of his room.

And Deceit lost control, barely able to hold back his breakdown until he sunk into his own room.

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