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kiljoius · 1 year

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Trapped In My Mind - Chapter 1

Ao3 | FFN

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Chapter 1: Don't Belong

Pairing: Kiba Inuzuka/Hinata Hyūga

Summary: “Hinata…” Naruto spoke quietly, scanning her face. He hesitantly moved forward before opening his arms. Her stomach did somersaults, her heart shot into her throat. It took everything she had, every ounce of will power not to pass out. No, her second instinct was to turn on her heel and bolt. Run far, far away…

A girl in love is a fool.

Word Count: 4.9k

Rating: M

It had been six years since the conclusion of the war. It had also been six years since Neji was killed. It had been two years since Naruto proposed to Sakura. It had also been two years since Hinata let her feet carry her wherever they may go. With the permission of Kakashi, she set out to forget, for as long as it would take. And now it was time to come home.

She stood in front of the gates of the Leaf, a sense of dread filling her chest. If she knew any better, she would turn on her heel and just run. Run and return to her travels. She had been to so many different lands, cities and towns, tiny villages and forests, deserts, and tundra. Looking for any sense of escape. She set out to forget, but never could. What a foolish endeavor she had set out on, thinking that worldly traveling could heal the ache in her heart.

A woman in love is a fool.

Her father told her as much. He promised her she would be happy with whoever he chose for her, and to quit dwelling on subjects beneath them. She knew if she could win over Naruto, her father would never be able to say no to being married to the Hero of the Leaf, of the entire war. Her heartbreak when she realized it would never happen was twofold. She lost her brother, then she was losing the love of her life, and finally, she was losing her freedom.

So she ran. As soon as she was granted permission, she ran as long as she could, outside the bounds of the Leaf, outside the bounds of the Land of Fire. Running, running, for hours. Until her feet were bloody when she found an inn on the outskirts of the Waterfall village, right before the official checkpoint for entering. There, she rested for a night, before going even farther. She knew she had to go far away to ensure her father wouldn’t find her. Years passed before she received a messenger hawk informing her of Hanabi’s impending wedding. Then she knew it was time to return.

Still, her feet were planted to the ground below her. Until she heard a familiar voice.

“Is that Hinata Hyūga?”

She swallowed thickly, willing her eyes to scan for the voice.

“It is! I’d recognize those eyes and that hair anywhere!”

She gasped as she felt herself become locked in the arms of another.

Whoa. It had been a long time since she had been touched by another human, beyond the simple exchange of currency and goods.

“Rock Lee,” Hinata breathed into his chest, not having the energy to pull away. He had a kind heart, so she let him embrace her. His crushing hug soon relented, and he stepped away, dipping his head to scan her face.

“You cut your hair! It looks very nice!” Lee bowed and Hinata couldn’t even muster a smile.

“Thank you.”

“Did you just get here? You must be tired! Would you like me to escort you to the Hyūga compound?” Lee’s questions and comments were lightning fast, it almost dizzied her.

“No, thank you. Would you please keep my arrival quiet, Lee?” she managed to force out, still not looking at him.

“Oh-of course! I’ll leave you be.” Lee bowed once more before tilting his head questioningly at the older Hyūga. She was…different. She was cold, her voice lower and gaze unforgiving. He frowned just a bit before leaping away.

Hinata was home. If she could call it that, anymore.

The moment she approached the Hyūga compound, all eyes were on her. Hushed whispers, eyes flittering back and forth over her. Her gaze was locked ahead, her destination known. She attempted to force thoughts of Neji down as she strolled through the turns of the compound until she found Hanabi’s room, a guard placed in front. She had to do this quickly, or she knew she would falter. The guard glanced at her and straightened immediately.

“L-Lady Hinata!” he gasped, clutching his hands behind his back, “what a pleasure to see you once more.”

“Is my sister in?” she questioned without looking at him, eyes locked on the door. He swallowed.

“Uhm-well-have you-have you spoken with your father, yet?” he stammered, bowing his head.

“I have not.”

“Perhaps you should.”

“Hm?” Hinata finally spared him a glance, a questioning brow.

“Lady Hanabi…is not here, right now. I cannot speak further on the matter, unfortunately.” He finally straightened his shoulders, speaking with confidence. “I am sure your father will explain. Please.”

“Very well…” Hinata let a small sigh escape as she turned.

Her father was not someone she wanted to confront at this time. He strongly opposed her retreat. He told her she would be disowned if she left. She dared him and did just that. She received no correspondence from the elder Hyūga. So, she carried on. She wondered if he would stick to that threat.

When she approached his office, the familiar ball of knots began forming in her gut. The two guards on either side of the sliding door stiffened at her approach. She raised her eyebrows at them, and they both nodded and bowed, one giving a light knock on the door. At the summons, the guard spoke shortly. “Lady Hinata is here to see you.”

Silence.

“Let her know I am busy now. She may try another time.”

“Father,” she sighed, too quiet. The guards clenched their hands behind their backs as the tension thickly rose. She cleared her throat and took one step forward. “Father.”

Silence. She hummed in annoyance, stepping once more.

“Father!” She finally found her voice, fists balling. She never had confidence like this in front of her father, but she was new and different. She heard shuffling from the other side of the door.

“Send her in.”

“Lady Hinata.” The guard opening the door bowed as she strolled past, locking milky eyes with milky eyes. The door shut quickly behind her as Hiashi glared up at her, jaw locked, fingers clasped in front of him.

“My eldest finally returns.”

“Your eldest?” she asked, frowning. “I am not your daughter, am I?”

“Hm.” Hiashi turned his head from her, unused to this level of backtalk from her.

“Where is Hanabi?”

“That is a Hyūga matter.”

“I am a Hyūga.”

Silence once more. It was now a staring competition, who would look away first. She held her ground, unmoving. Finally, she spoke once more.

“I am Hanabi’s elder sister. I demand to know where she is, and what you’ve put her up to.”

Hiashi considered her words. “She is in Kirigakure.”

“The mist? Why?”

“That is none of your business, girl,” he spoke coolly, turning his head from her.

“You’re wedding her off, aren’t you? To someone in the Mist? A diplomat, I’m sure.” Hinata felt her hands tremble as she spoke up against her father. His icy eyes shot into hers like an arrow and she felt herself recoil slightly.

“You’ve abandoned your family and you are privileged to even have this information at your disposal. You may leave.”

Hinata glared upon her father. He wed her off. He wed her off just like he wanted to wed herself off. Even if she was to be clan leader, with great power, she couldn’t even stop the clan from wedding her off. She knew Hanabi’s spirit was too fiery to let this happen. They must have done something.

“Good day, father.”

She stormed out of the office, shooting a glare at the two guards as they nervously looked on. She let out a frustrated sigh once she was out of the compound, pressing her fingers to her temples.

She needed to know more. Perhaps she knew where to start.

A single gasp was uttered when Hinata approached the desk of the assistant to the Hokage. No one sat behind it, but a certain pony-tailed individual sat on the windowsill with a cigarette in hand, eyeing her. She folded her arms and looked blankly at him as he dabbed it out.

“H-Hinata?” He clamored out of the sill, trying to right himself in front of her. He moved unsurely towards her. “It’s you, right?”

“It is me,” she sighed, averting her eyes. She hated the way everyone was so surprised to see her, but why shouldn’t she expect it? She had been gone for two years. If Kakashi were to be trusted, which she knew he was, no one would have known why or for what.

“Are you here to see Naruto?” He asked, tilting his head to look at her. She shot her eyes up, a visible grimace on her expression. Naruto? No… She clenched her teeth as she looked out the window he had been perched on, finding construction workers tapping away at the spot next to Kakashi’s face on the Hokage mountain. She hadn’t even noticed, really. He continued, a look of realization dawning on him, “right…you’ve been gone. You probably didn’t know…”

“Shikamaru.” She scoffed, looking him in the eye. “Please let our Hokage know I am here to speak with them.”

“Uhm-sure.” Shikamaru sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He slipped into the office quietly. The walls were well insulated, so she did not hear what they discussed. A few beats later, and he emerged, holding the door open for her. She sucked in a sharp breath, already knowing what awaited her. She counted to three in her head, then confidently walked in, locking eyes with those big, blue orbs.

“Hinata…” Naruto spoke quietly, scanning her face. He hesitantly moved forward before opening his arms. Her stomach did somersaults, her heart shot into her throat. It took everything she had, every ounce of will power not to pass out. No, her second instinct was to turn on her heel and bolt. Run far, far away…

She took a step backwards, averting her eyes in a way that betrayed her fake confidence. “Lord Hokage. I am here to discuss my sister,” Hinata managed to force out, all her confidence in one sentence, only to slowly leave her. His arms dropped. She glanced up at him from the corner of her eye and noted his shorter hair, his white robes, his hat sitting on the desk. He was the Hokage. A few moments passed as Naruto seemed to evaluate her as well, then nodded.

“Right, of course. Whatever you wanna know, I’ll tell ya.” Naruto’s boyish attitude hadn’t left him yet as he beamed down at her despite her cool demeanor. He circled back to his desk, plopping himself down into the chair behind it. “A lot’s been going on, so let me know what you need to know.”

“All of it.” She said quickly before eyeing him and he seemed to shrink under her gaze. She softened just a bit at his worried expression, clenching her fists in an attempt at keeping her fingers from poking together. Her gaze fell to the ground, the sight of him almost too much to bear. “Please. What is happening with the Hyūga? My sister.”

“Oh.” Naruto’s lips lifted, then twisted as he contemplated his words. “She’s marrying Konohamaru!”

“What?” Hinata froze, eyes locked on the ground. He nodded enthusiastically.

“I mean, it’s technically an arranged marriage almost, but they were dating before it happened.” Naruto looked up thoughtfully. “I’m not keen on every detail, but it was something like—your father didn’t want to see her dating around, so kinda arranged for them to get married. Worked out cause, well, he is grandson of old man third, right? Seemed suitable. They seem happy, though?”

“Why do you question that last sentence, Lord Hokage?”

Naruto audibly gulped. This was not the Hinata he once knew. “I-I dunno. You know, arranged marriages are kind of…sticky, silly. Stupid even. But I can’t argue with Hyūga.”

His words rolled around in her mind. She stopped to properly analyze them. Her sister was to take over, her father seemed to deem Konohamaru a good fit, and they seem happy, according to Naruto. He also said he can’t argue with Hyūga. Too bad he didn’t have that same view when she confessed her entire soul to him.

Suddenly, she felt tired. She fell into the chair across from him and Naruto frowned, eyebrows raised in concern. “Hinata?”

“Give me a minute, please.” She whispered, hand to her forehead as she leaned forward, studying the room and Naruto.

His hair was shorter. He was a bit taller, a bit less toned. She supposed it made sense with his transition to Hokage, mostly at his desk. Bags under his eyes, calloused hand, but still those bright eyes. Those bright eyes she melted into whenever she caught his gaze. Bright eyes that encouraged her, pushed her forward. Bright eyes that let her down as gently as he possibly could. Bright eyes that darkened hers. She tore hers away, suffering that sickly feeling in her gut.

None of that mattered now. What mattered was her sister, and her well-being. There was no time to worry about her former love. Still her love—but she was trying her best not to dwell on that fact. It was time to get the information she needed and leave. Immediately. Or else she probably would pass out.

“And do you know why she might be in the Mist?” She eventually spoke, not looking at him.

“Yeah, some diplomatic thing your dad sent her to in his place.” He nodded.

Finally, she stood. Naruto followed her lead and stood as well. “Thank you, Lord Hokage.”

“Anytime, Lady Hinata.” He teased, grinning at her. She glanced up at him and frowned before turning her eyes from him. She bowed, deeply, before turning.

“One more thing, if I may.” She whispered. He hummed at her to continue. “Where is Kakashi?”

“Vacation.” She grimaced at this, but nodded, moving to leave. He cleared his throat before calling after her, “hey! You wanna catch up sometime? At Ichiraku’s? I’m pretty busy but I could make time-“

“I can’t, unfortunately,” she whispered, looking at the ground. At one point in her life, the simple gesture would send her heart into the sky and her body into the ground. Now, all she could feel was overwhelming sadness, her heart full of lead. He let out a small whine at her forwardness. “But thank you. Goodbye.”

She marched through the door, avoiding Shikamaru’s gaze. She needed time to think about this.

As the sun shrunk under the earth, Hinata sucked in her teeth in front of Ichiraku’s. The mention of it made Hinata’s stomach growl, and she couldn’t deny that she missed it. Teuchi had greeted her with a warm smile and offered a bowl on the house, but she still paid for a few extra bowls. Now she was faced with deciding where she would go for the night. She huffed a sigh; she had thought about this on her journey here. There was one place she always knew she could go.

She carried herself through the village, thankful that she hadn’t stumbled into anyone else that might question her, until she met the Sarutobi clan symbol upon a large door. She took a deep breath as she clapped the knocker, unknowingly holding the breath in. Then those crimson eyes met hers and she finally released the breath.

“Oh-Hinata?!” She felt herself gathered into a hug by her former sensei and let her head rest on her chest. “Come in, please!”

She nodded as she was released, following Kurenai inside. Immediately, she was forced into a seat at the dining table next to an excited young girl, and hot tea was pushed in front of her. She controlled her breathing as she reached for the handle of the cup and brought it to her lips. Konoha tea. It had been a while. Finally, she turned to meet Mirai’s eyes and her breath hitched. When she had left, she was just barely beginning to form sentences. A little girl now sat in front of her, eyeing her with enthusiasm. “Do you remember big sister Hinata, Mirai?”

“No,” Mirai said honestly, but with a wide smile. “You have pretty hair.” Hinata managed a little smile at the girl. She looked nothing like the toddler she remembered, but her cheekbones reminded her of Asuma.

“You have pretty eyes,” Hinata whispered, her heart feeling a little lighter with the normalcy of the interaction. The girl giggled and turned away, back to her food.

“It’s been so long,” Kurenai started, pulling up the chair opposite her, breaking her from her thoughts, “two years is it? You never visit, the only reason we knew you weren’t dead was Kakashi’s assurance.”

“I apologize,” Hinata replied politely. Kurenai waved her hand with a smile.

“I’m just elated to see you, dear. How have you been?”

“Well.”

“Well?” She chuckled with amusement before pulling her shoulders back. “Alright then. What brings you back?”

“Mmm.” Hinata contemplated whether she wanted to share this information with Kurenai. “Just felt like a good time to come back for a bit.”

“I’m sure your father was…pleased to see you.” Kurenai gave a tight smile and Hinata couldn’t hold back a small chuckle.

“You know my father…he’s never pleased.” Hinata cleared her throat. “I was actually wondering if I may impose on you tonight.”

“Stay here? Of course.” Kurenai responded quickly, glancing at a far door. “Your room is mostly the same, except some of Mirai’s toys are in there.”

“It is?” Hinata’s voice was a little surprised. Kurenai nodded.

“Have you seen anybody else yet? Shino’s missed you.” She moved the conversation forward. Hinata bowed her head. Shino. Hinata sighed at the thought of her team. She deeply missed them, but was unsure of how to face them having up and taken off so quickly, no warning. While she wanted to see them, she hoped she could take care of her business and leave without doing so.

“Just my father and you…and Lord Hokage.”

“Oh.” Kurenai’s smile dropped, realizing this was news to Hinata. Thick silence fell over the room, all except Mirai’s noisy slurping of her soup.

“He seems well.” Hinata managed to force out, looking back up at Kurenai. Kurenai frowned at the girl in front of her, so different from the one she used to know. She seemed so far away despite being just a few feet from her. “I am happy he achieved his dream.”

“It was all he could talk about, wasn’t it?” Kurenai smiled sadly at her, reaching across the table for a hand that was not there. “Are you alright, Hinata?”

“Tired,” she responded simply, sipping the tea. “Thank you for the tea. Would it be alright if I retire for the night?”

“Oh, of course.” Kurenai nodded, getting to her feet. “I have no idea where you came from but it must’ve been pretty far for no one to have detected you for two years.”

“Hmm,” Hinata hummed once more, also standing. She followed Kurenai to the room where she quickly grabbed a few things for Mirai out of it.

“You know where everything is. If you need a shower or any food, feel free.” Kurenai smiled sweetly down at her former student, who stared blankly at the bed. “This is still your home, too.”

“Thank you, sensei,” Hinata whispered as Kurenai quietly exited, softly shutting the door behind her.

Hinata let out a much-needed breath as she turned to sit on her old bed. She looked around the room. It really was mostly the same, just some children’s items sporadically placed. Her book of pressed flowers was open to a violet, a nightlight sat next to it. She wondered if Kurenai was showing them to Mirai. A bin of toys next to her dresser. Some children’s books were scattered across her reading area, next to her history books.

She shut her eyes and crawled into her bed, fully clothed. She would seek out Konohamaru tomorrow. Sleep took her within moments.

She dreamed of Hanabi. She dreamed of a faceless man she was to marry. She dreamed of Hanabi and her father walking down an aisle together, surrounded by Hyūga. Hanabi’s face was in a painful smile, her father’s face completely stoic. The faceless man took her hand, and she recoiled as he bended down to kiss her, finalizing their matrimony. She dreamt of blood trickling out of his mouth as he pulls away from Hanabi, and Hinata’s palm is against his lower back. When she peers over his shoulder, Hanabi is no longer Hanabi. She sees herself, to be wed, while Hanabi smiles from the distance, hand in Konohamaru’s.

She awakened to chatter. Groggily, she rubbed her eyes, blinking away sleep as sunlight poured over her. She strained her ear to listen, recognizing Kurenai’s voice.

Right. She’s at Kurenai’s.

After stretching, she moved to the door. Then she heard a second voice, not one of a child, but of a man. She had company. Hinata frowned as she reluctantly opened the door, stepping out to find Shikamaru at the dining table, chatting with Kurenai. The chatter ceased with her presence, and Shikamaru raised his eyebrows up at her.

“Oh-sorry.” Shikamaru moved to stand, but Kurenai waved him down.

“It’s just Hinata, Shikamaru. It’s alright, isn’t it, Hinata?” Kurenai looked to Hinata with a warm smile.

“I was just about to leave, anyway.” Hinata nodded, trying to make way for the door. Shikamaru beckoning of her name stopped her.

“Hey…I know you’re probably gonna take off again soon.” Hinata spun around at his words, squinting her eyes at him in a glare. He recoiled slightly but continued. “But I really think you should stop by Shino’s to see him. He’s been pretty lonely lately, and he misses you guys.”

“You guys?” Hinata repeated, her face relaxing into one of mild confusion.

“Oh, yeah. Kiba’s been gone a few months on a mission,” Shikamaru clarified. Hinata frowned. Shino had been alone for at least a few months. One of the things that made her question leaving was her team. They had such a tight bond, she felt guilty breaking it. But at least Kiba and Shino had each other, so she could feel secure in that. But Shino, by far the most…needy, for lack of a better term, had been left on his own. She hoped he would have found other companionship by now. Shikamaru cleared his throat. “It would be really nice of you to check on him.”

“Mmm...” Hinata hummed with a frown. She glanced at Kurenai and realized she might be the best source of information on Konohamaru. “Do either of you happen to know where Konohamaru would be?”

Both perked eyebrows at her request, and Kurenai spoke up. “He’s usually at training ground 12 if he’s not on a mission. I don’t believe he’s on one today.” She nodded before making her leave.

As the door shut behind her, Hinata shook her head. She didn’t want to stay, but couldn’t deny Shikamaru’s request. She would go see Shino. But first, Konohamaru.

She meandered through the village until she reached the training grounds. She looked ahead at training ground 8 and swallowed with a frown. Many days were spent there with Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino. It was almost painful to recall such happy moments she felt she could never get back. As she continued, observing several genin and chuunin teams sparring together, she reached 12 and found, as Kurenai said, Konohamaru training by himself.

Decidedly, she stood in the distance to observe him. He was probably about 19 now, she figured, a little older than Hanabi. He had grown an immense amount since she last saw him, and his jutsu was impressive. Her eyes widened as he effortlessly summoned a rasengan with fire style applied to it, and obliterated the training body in front of him. The impact was forceful enough to blow her hair back. She had never seen Naruto do something like that. After impact, she watched as he clapped his hands and turned to the entrance of the grounds, spotting her. She pulled her shoulders back as he tilted his head at her, mouth agape.

“Lady Hinata?” he called, cautiously approaching. As they got closer, Hinata gave a short nod. He looked tremendously uncomfortable. “Wh-what are you doing here? I mean-what brings you? I mean-well-“

“I was told my sister is being wed,” she said, plainly. Once they were a few feet away, they stopped, toe to toe, and he couldn’t have looked more awkward if he tried. “To you?”

“I really wish she was here…” He chuckled, averting his eyes. “Out of all the times for you to come back, she’s gone!” A nervous hand rubbed the back of his neck, feeling those Hyūga eye’s bore a hole into him. Hinata was patient, and she intended on letting him do the talking. “I mean, yeah. We’re engaged, I guess. We were just dating, but your dad is…persuasive.” She lowered her eyes. “I’m happy about it, of course! I really love your sister.”

“Do you?” Hinata took a step forward, tilting her head at him. “Or are you just following along with my father’s will?”

“No!” Konohamaru waved his hands, finally looking at her. “I was thinking of proposing anyway! I’m really happy with her…”

Hinata let out a relieved puff of air. She couldn’t deny that Konohamaru wasn’t on her radar for potential grooms for her sister, but he was certainly one of the best she could have hoped for. “Well, alright…” She shifted on her feet, dropping her eyes to the ground. “As long as she’s happy.”

“I’m trying.” He stepped forward, feeling a little more confident in front of the elder Hyūga now. “We mission together a lot. She’s taught me a lot of new jutsus, and I’ve taught her a lot—or, well I’ve tried, but she’s…something else…” She watched as his eyes drifted upwards, something like admiration in them that she had to admit was sweet. “We’re actually really strong together.” He chuckled, dipping his head to see if he could catch her eyes. “Are you staying, Lady Hinata? Hanabi misses you, a lot.”

She pondered his words. He seemed so sincere, she couldn’t deny him. “You may address me as Hinata.” He grinned down at her as she raised to meet him. She turned away to begin her trek to Shino’s. “I will see you around, Honorable Grandson.”

“Call me Konohamaru!” He called back playfully as she quickly walked into the distance, satisfied for now.

The layout of the village still memorized after it’s rebuilding, she found her way to Shino’s within minutes. With effort, she knocked on the door to the Aburame household. She was greeted by Shibi, who, if he was surprised, did not show it. He simply welcomed her in and went to fetch Shino from his study. Hinata stood awkwardly in the middle of the living quarters she once knew so well. Many days were spent here with Shino and Kiba, planning missions, or just enjoying each other’s company. She felt like a foreigner now.

Hinata raised her eyes when she heard soft footsteps, and met those of Shino’s shaded ones. He stopped in the doorway, seemingly frozen. For Shino, she would attempt to smile. She strained herself as she upturned her lips, glancing at his hands as they curled into fists.

“Hinata,” he choked out, relaxing his hands.

“Shino,” she responded, swallowing. The sight of him was actually the first welcome one so far. She loved Kurenai for everything she had done for her, but conversing with her was something she had dreaded. She knew her dear teammate wouldn’t question her, simply accept her. So she moved to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her forehead on his buttoned jacket. She let a relieved sigh slip out when his arms returned the hug. They stood, embraced, for a few minutes. When she went to pull, she felt Shino resist a moment.

“It’s been two years, Hinata.” Shino’s voice sounded tense as he looked down at her, hands on her shoulders. She forced herself to look up at him, nodding.

“I…I have to go, again. I just wanted to see you before I left.” Hinata regretted the pained look on Shino’s face, eyebrows raising and drawing together, a hint of a frown underneath his collar. She pulled from his grasp, making for the exit. “I’m sorry.”

“Kiba’s due back in two days.”

Hinata sighed.

“I can’t stay, Shino.”

“Please.”

She paused, frowning.

“Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it…together. Why? Because we’re a team, Hinata…we always will be.”

Something felt tight in her chest at those words. Shino’s demeanor was always calm and collected, when he showed emotion, it touched her differently.

“You can stay here. The guest room is open.” His voice started to sound a tad frantic, uncharacteristic for Shino. “It’s just two days.” Her shoulders heaved with a large sigh.

Two more days, truly, she did not want to wait. But she couldn’t deny the sentiment. And she couldn’t deny that it actually felt good to be in Shino’s presence. And she couldn’t deny her desire to see Kiba.

Two days.

#kibahina #kiba inuzuka #hinata hyuga #naruto #naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfic #kibahina fanfic #kibahina fanfiction #kiba x hinata #kiba x hinata fanfic #inuzuka kiba #hyuga hinata #kibahina fic #hinata hyuuga #hyuuga hinata #my fic #Trapped In My Mind

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kiljoius-writes · 1 year

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Trapped In My Mind

Ao3 | FFN

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First Chapter

Chapter 4: Far Away From The Beginning

It was still dark out when Hinata roused. She nearly panicked when she didn’t recognize where she was, or who she was with. It took a few seconds to come to the realization she was still at the training ground, but with Kiba’s heavy body on top of her, as if keeping her trapped there in his own subconscious way. She blinked her eyes a few times to readjust to the light of the moon above before looking down at their conjoined bodies. She recognized the furry coat lining along her neck—seemed Kiba had draped his leather jacket over her torso at some point before falling asleep with her, as his heavy arm was on top of the jacket.

Carefully, she craned her neck to see if she could get a glimpse of him. She held her breath for a moment as he mindlessly readjusted his head so that his face was now turned towards hers and she couldn’t help but admire him. His fangs popped out from his top lip still, and his hair still glistened in the moonlight. Suddenly she was becoming very aware of just how…intermingled, their bodies were. Then, she was very conscious of just how hard his body was up against hers. And it was oddly comforting.

Where had the rambunctious young boy she once knew gone? He laid before her, unmistakably a grown man, snoozing away and gripping her as if she was his precious possession. She clenched her teeth slightly as thoughts of her teammate flooded her mind.

“It’s been over a year and you’re still so shy. How come? Oh—hiiii Naruto!!! HAHAHA! I’m just jokin’!”

“Listen to me, be smart. If they put you in with that guy from the Sand Village, you’ve got to forfeit the match. Same with Neji. Be smart, just walk away. Trust me. They’ll be merciless. They’ll destroy you.”

“If I kick enough asses, I might even end up Hokage!”

She cracked the tiniest smile at the last thought. She knew Kiba was never truly serious about becoming Hokage, it was more of a jab towards Naruto, or just something all young shinobi of the Leaf said to some extent.

She wondered why it was he seemed to care so much about her. Sure, she loved her teammates, but she wasn’t sure she would be able to handle them if they were acting like she was—a brat, she had to admit. She knew she was being unreasonable, so why did Kiba tolerate it, and in fact still push to keep her home? Push to help her move on, as he put it? How could he possibly help her move on when there’s nothing to move on from? It’s not like she had ever been with Naruto…and Neji was gone, forever. There was no ‘moving on’ from all that.

When she felt him stir, she glanced down to find his tired eyes peeling open to look at her. She sucked in both of her lips as she awaited his movement. As he blinked his eyes open, that smirk enveloped his lips once more. He glanced down at their bodies, then heaved a loud, obnoxious yawn.

“How’d ya sleep?” he asked, casually.

How did she sleep? She was surprised to find that she had slept wonderfully, actually. She hadn’t really dreamed, she didn’t think, and she couldn’t recall having any nightmares like she normally did. Hesitantly, she responded, “well.”

“S’good,” he mumbled, slowly pulling his arm off her torso, and propping himself up on his elbow. “You wanna keep impromptu camping, or we can go back to my place?” Her eyes widened at the proposition, and he chuckled. “Not like that, Hinata. My mom’s definitely asleep, so you can crash on my bed in my place.”

“Your place?” She blinked, tilting her head. “I didn’t realize you had your own place…”

“You thought I still lived with my mom?” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. “Give me a little more credit, huh?”

“I…I guess I just didn’t…” She trailed off, glancing away from him. Finally, she nodded. “What time is it?”

“Eh…” Kiba looked up at the night sky, furrowing his brows a bit as he did. “About 4ish. Sun’ll be up soon. C’mon.” He lifted to his feet and extended his hand for hers, opting to wait for her to accept help instead of forcing it on her once more. Hinata nodded once more before grasping his hand, letting him pull her up. She handed him his jacket and they dusted themselves off, then fell into step alongside each other as she followed him back to the Inuzuka properties in silence. They passed his childhood home, which had all its lights off, then stopped in front of a smaller unit nearby. She watched as he unlocked the front door, then followed him in.

She was surprised to find a fairly clean and tastefully decorated living space. She stopped in front of the door to take it in as he shut it behind her and turned on the lights. It reminded her quite a bit of his mother’s home, but with his own personal touches. What looked like an animal skin rug, a Tanabata ornament she had gotten him at the festival several years ago for his birthday, the “Complete Guide to Kikaichu” book Shino had given him so many years ago sitting on top of a dresser. Surprisingly, a large variety of candles dotted the space, as well as several paintings. She couldn’t help but be impressed by it all.

“Don’t act so shocked,” he teased as he hung his jacket up by the door. She snapped up to look at him and shook her head.

“It’s just…your place is so…clean,” she said, honestly. He ran his hand through his hair as he averted his glance, in what seemed like an act of shyness. “I mean it as a compliment. It’s nice, Kiba.”

“Well, thanks.” He coughed into his hand as he led her to his bedroom. He flicked on the light and raised his arm towards the bed. “Go ahead and get some rest. I’ll be out here.”

“Oh, I’m alright with the couch…” She attempted to protest, shaking her hands in front of her face.

“Nah, go ahead. I won’t be able to go back to sleep anyway. See you in a couple hours.” He patted her lightly on the top of the head before stepping backwards out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him. She turned around to face the now closed door and twisted her lips. She might as well get the rest while she could.

Unfortunately for Hinata, the nightmares returned. There were a few that she would cycle through. One was of Neji’s death. It would replay, scene for scene, in her dreams, where she would try everything possible to prevent it, only to fail every single time. Another was of the day Naruto let her down gently. There was the faceless man and arranged marriage nightmare. But in the last few days, she had been having a new nightmare, one that involved Kiba. She dreamed of his face, coming closer and closer to hers. She could feel heat in her stomach as he closed the distance, she almost wanted to reach out and…then he would start whispering hurtful words.

“No one cares about you. You’re not strong, you’re just weak. Stupid, little Hinata.”

She would cry in her dreams. She would try to argue back, to say something, anything, question why he would say these things to her. But she could never get any words out, and he would just laugh. And then she’d wake up.

“Why…” she whispered to herself as she propped herself up on her elbows, glancing around the room of the man she was just having nightmares about. “Why Kiba?”

“You awake?” She flinched at his calling for her, realizing he must have been able to sense her rousing. She looked at the window to find the sun now fully up. Heaving a large sigh, she swung her legs over the bedside and quietly made her way for her door, gently opening it and peeking out to find him in his kitchen. He glimpsed over his shoulder when he heard her and offered a genuine smile. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Good morning.” She willed herself to come out, standing awkwardly next to the entrance of his bedroom.

“You were having some weird dreams.” He chuckled, looking back down at the food he was making at the stove. She pursed her lips together at the remark, wondering what she might have done to give him that impression. “Yeah, I came in like three times ‘cause I swore you were callin’ me.”

“What?” She gasped, taking a step back. He didn’t look back at her.

“S’alright. Just wanted to make you were okay.” He shrugged before turning towards her with a plate in hand. “Sit. I made you breakfast.”

“Oh…” she whispered, eyeing the plate. She sighed through her nose before pulling up a seat at the bar, letting him place the food in front of her. She couldn’t deny the growl coming from her stomach. She had been stubbornly protesting eating for the past few days. “Thank you for the food.”

“Been a while since I got to cook for you.” He grinned, leaning over the counter on his elbows towards her. She nodded agreement as she picked up her utensils and picked at the food. “I missed it.”

She paused as she contemplated admitting that she had also missed it because she had. After taking a bite, she let out a sigh of approval. “I…missed it, too.”

“Knew it,” he teased, shoving himself off the counter. “Bet you haven’t had food this good since before you left!”

She willed herself to loosen up despite the urge to freeze at his comment. She nodded a bit as she continued eating, and he went about cleaning up dishes. Once more, she glanced around the unit with interest. Not only had he matured physically, but he also seemed to have matured in general. The home didn’t resemble his room at his mothers at all, where you could find clothes and kunai and dishes scattered all about. No, his home was truly fitting of a full-grown adult. She couldn’t help but smile at that fact.

“What’s got you smiling?” he inquired after glancing back at her, pulling her from her lingering stare. She hadn’t realized her eyes were resting on him now. “Like what you see?”

“Stop it, Kiba,” she sighed, carefully pushing the plate from her now. “Thank you for your hospitality, but I really should be going…”

“Where?” he asked, innocently enough. She frowned as she climbed out of the seat.

“I…I’m not sure,” she said as she shook her head, making for the front door.

“Hey!” he called before she could finish pulling on her sandals, causing her to stop and look at him questioningly. She was surprised to find him glancing at his feet as he rubbed at the back of his head, seemingly stalling.

“Yes?”

“Uhm…” He paused, stepping towards her. “Well-uh. Let me take you to your sister’s wedding, yeah?”

“Take me?” she asked in a bit of a higher pitched tone than she intended. He shrugged, looking up with sincerity in his eyes. He wasn’t smirking, didn’t seem to be trying to ruffle her feather like usual.

“Yeah, I mean. You should have someone to go with, right? I’ll take you.”

“Hmm…” she hummed, tilting her head at him. She felt a bit guilty about the fact she hadn’t been thinking too much about Hanabi or her wedding. She hadn’t even considered taking a ‘date’, especially not Kiba. She chewed her bottom lip for a moment before responding. “I…suppose that would be fine…if I’m even allowed to attend.”

“Tch,” he scoffed, waving a hand in front of his face dismissively. “No way Hanabi’s gonna let your old man keep you out.” She couldn’t help but smile a bit at the remark before nodding. She turned again to leave, only for him to interrupt again. “Come back, okay?”

“…Here?” she asked, hesitantly.

“Yeah. Might as well, right?”

She paused a moment before nodding and finally making her leave definitively, trying to ignore his wanting stare.

For over two weeks, Hinata would wander aimlessly throughout the village then return to Kiba’s apartment when the sun began to set. He would always have dinner for her and seemed to take the hint to give her space during the day. She hated to admit that she was finding the routine somewhat comforting. While she had tried to argue for him to have his bed and her take the futon, she eventually stopped trying after so many days of unsuccessful attempts.

But she was beginning to realize a hard truth. Wandering through the village only left her with her own thoughts to weigh her down. The only time she felt truly free of her darkest thoughts was when she was with Kiba, and that frightened her. Further, her nightmares continued despite her one peaceful night sleeping on the training grounds with Kiba. She began to seriously consider if Kiba was right—that being around him would help her move on. Something in her resisted that thought.

Since Hinata came back, Kiba hadn’t gone on any missions. She didn’t know if he had taken himself off the roster, or if there just weren’t any missions for him to take. And she wasn’t sure what he was up to during the day. All she knew is he had been home consistently every night, and he was becoming a constant.

One day, he suggested they go see Shino. Hinata had, admittedly, been avoiding seeing others. When people stopped to engage in conversation, usually surprised to see her back, she did her best to evade and escape. Kiba likely knew this, and as always, was trying to get her out of the carefully constructed shell she had made around herself. She really wasn’t much of a match for his pushy nature. So, a few weeks before the wedding, they met with Shino in a quiet sushi bar. Hinata had frozen when she spotted her teammate with someone she didn’t recognize sitting directly next to him, engaging in chatter.

“Oh, right.” Kiba snickered, setting a hand on her back in an attempt at comfort. “That’s Shino’s fiancée, Kuri. She’s from the Aburame clan.”

“Fiancée?” Hinata’s jaw dropped as she stared at the pair. Kiba nudged her and she gulped audibly, nodding. She hesitantly made her way towards them, Kiba slapping Shino on the back. The two looked up and Hinata couldn’t help but feel amusement at the fact the woman was also wearing sunglasses. Immediately, Kuri stood up and gave Hinata a deep bow.

“Lady Hinata, it’s a pleasure.” Hinata once again felt paralyzed. It had been a long time since she had met a new person that was beyond a hotel clerk or shop keep. Once more, Kiba nudged her.

“Don’t be rude, Lady Hinata,” he whispered teasingly as he poked her side. She blinked up at him before shaking her head.

“Uhm—yes. Likewise, Kuri.” Hinata bowed as well.

Hinata and Kiba took the seats next to Shino, and the two engaged in chatter. Hinata felt a sense of discomfort at the idea that this absolutely looked like a double date. She couldn’t help but glance around the restaurant, wondering if anyone they knew was there. Then she glanced over Kiba’s shoulder as Kuri was reaching up with a napkin to wipe at something under Shino’s chin. She smiled faintly at the tiny sign of affection, and guilt panged at her heart. Maybe if she had been more receptive when she returned, been more open and willing to chat with Shino, she would have already known about his engagement.

Guilt was becoming second nature at this point.

The gathering went as quickly as it came, and Hinata couldn’t help but feel guilty at the fact that she couldn’t seem to get herself to engage in any conversation with Kuri. When the group rose to leave, she was surprised to find Kuri grasp her elbow and lead her out of the restaurant with a smile on her lips. “Please, would you walk with me, Lady Hinata?”

“Oh—of course.” Hinata felt her mouth go dry as she nodded, allowing herself to be led by the Aburame. She glanced back to see Shino and Kiba eyeing her, a playful smirk on his lips as usual. He nodded forward in her direction to encourage her along before turning back to Shino. She looked ahead again. “I—uhm—I apologize for my…lack of…social skills, I suppose. I’m not the best in social situations, as you can probably tell—”

“Do not apologize, my lady.” Kuri gave a genuine smile and Hinata shook her head.

“Please, just Hinata.”

“Of course.” Kuri nodded. “I just wanted to let you know that your return has been quite impactful.”

“Oh?” Hinata swallowed, looking at the woman from the corner of her eye. She wondered where this conversation would go.

“Yes, since your return, Shino has become far less tense.” She smiled down at Hinata, who raised her eyebrows at this. “It may be difficult for you to understand, La—Hinata. But Shino and Kiba care for you a great deal. Not a day went by when they didn’t wonder where you were. But now that you’ve returned, they both seem so much…happier.”

It dawned on Hinata that she couldn’t have known how much her leave had affected her teammates. Perhaps it was selfish of her to never wonder what kind of damage she had inflicted by her abrupt escape. She wondered if Kuri resented her? “I…I am glad to hear that, Kuri.”

“As am I.” Kuri nodded along, stopping with the her in front of the Aburame household. Kuri chuckled as they looked behind them, finding her teammates quite a bit behind them. “Seems the men have slowed their pace.”

Hinata nodded hesitantly, crossing her arms behind her as silence fell over them. She glanced up at Kuri before continuing, “how long have you and Shino been…together?”

“A year and two months,” she responded immediately. “It was arranged by our fathers.” Hinata’s face fell at this, but Kuri shook her head. “But I quite like him, and I’m keen to think he enjoys my company.”

“Well, that’s what’s important, I suppose.” Hinata sighed, looking at the two as they came into earshot. All she could hear was Kiba’s boisterous voice. Once they were close enough to stop, Kiba patted Shino on the back before turning to the women.

“Sorry ‘bout that, got carried away.” He grinned down at Hinata before draping an arm around her. She tensed under his touch momentarily but chose not to push him away. Shino eyed the two before chiming in.

“Will we see you at Hanabi’s wedding, Hinata?” Shino asked gently, glancing between her and Kiba.

“Yep, even if I have to drag her,” Kiba interjected on her behalf. She rolled her eyes briefly before nodding.

“Of course, I will be there for my sister…” Hinata sighed, looking down at her feet as she twisted her hands together.

“I look forward to it.” Kuri nodded, a small smile. “Goodnight Hinata and Kiba.”

“Yes, goodnight.” Shino raised an eyebrow at Kiba before turning away.

“Night!” Kiba waved, steering Hinata away. She flinched when he grabbed at her hands, pulling them away from their dance. “No need to be nervous.”

“I’m not!” Hinata clenched her fists, shrugging at his arm over her shoulders. He chuckled as he dropped the arm to his side, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I just—I wish you had given me some sort of warning about who I was about to meet.”

“She’s nice, huh?” Kiba deflected, not meeting her glare. She sighed before nodding. “Not jealous, are ya?”

“Wh—no!” Hinata huffed, growing increasingly frustrated. “I wish you would stop teasing me, Kiba.”

“Why?” he asked, and the question sounded genuine as he tilted his head down at her. She raised her eyebrows, surprised.

“Because I don’t like it.”

“Why not?”

“B…because! It’s rude.”

“But you like it.”

“I just said I didn’t!”

She stopped when she looked up at him to find him grinning mischievously at her. Why did he think he could treat her like this? She huffed with frustration before stomping ahead, knowing he was reveling in the fact that despite her anger with him, she was still heading straight for his home. So, when she passed his childhood home and saw the lights on inside, she decided to stop. She jogged up the porch to knock on the door, looking over her shoulder with a glare at Kiba. She couldn’t hold back a small smile of satisfaction at his shocked expression, frozen at the foot of the steps. Tsume answered and looked down at her with raised eyebrows.

“Well, hello Hina.” She set her hands on her hips, looking over the top of the girl’s head at Kiba. She squinted her eyes suspiciously.

“Would you mind if I stayed here, tonight, Tsume?” Hinata bowed with her hands clasped. Tsume snorted at the question.

“My boy pissin’ you off, huh?” Tsume held out her arm, grabbing her by the shoulder to pull her in. “’Course you can.” Hinata glanced over her shoulder once more and uncharacteristically decided to gloat by poking out her tongue before Tsume shut the door on her son.

“Thank you,” Hinata said, genuinely as she pulled off her sandals.

“Anytime.” Tsume smirked down at her. “I’m just doing paperwork in the other room. You know where everything is.”

Hinata nodded, allowing Tsume to disappear into the diagonal office. She sighed as she pulled off her coat and hung it up, glancing around the house for a moment. She hadn’t really had much of a chance to take in the old Inuzuka household, as Kiba had carried her in unconscious initially, and Hanabi had rushed her out the door when she left. She took a moment to inhale deeply before making her way to the kitchen to make tea. She would enjoy the peace and quiet as much as she could, for now.

The next day, Hinata sat at the dining table with Tsume, having prepared breakfast for the older Inuzuka as a show of gratitude. They engaged in idle chatter about Hanabi’s wedding and the going-on’s of the Inuzuka clan until Tsume directed the conversation to Kiba.

“So. What’d my boy do to get you so worked up?” Tsume asked, pushing her plate and utensils away as they finished the meal. Hinata bit her lower lip, averting her gaze.

“It’s really nothing…Kiba is my best friend, but he can be…”

“Too much.” Tsume finished for her, chuckling. She hesitantly nodded. “Oh, I know it. It’s all out of love though.”

“I know.” Hinata nodded in agreement, feeling slightly guilty. She shouldn’t be here speaking ill of the son of the woman who allowed her to stay in her home. “I love Kiba, but I feel he doesn’t know when to give it a rest.”

“Can you blame him, though, hun?” Tsume’s voice softened, causing Hinata to look up in some surprise. “You did take off without a word. He never said it, but once he had you back, he wasn’t going to let go.”

Guilt washed over Hinata in crashing waves. She knew deep down that Tsume was right. She had been selfish. She was constantly reminded of it. For some reason, hearing it from Tsume was an entirely new level of guilt inducing. She pursed her lips as she contemplated her words. Tsume reached over to comfortingly pat her hand, still holding her chopsticks.

“Talk to him.” Tsume offered, willing Hinata to look up at her. “I’ll ask you be patient with him, but he should be patient with you, too.”

Reluctantly, Hinata nodded. As if on cue, the front door burst open to reveal the Inuzuka in question. He stretched his arms as he looked at his mother and Hinata, frowning. “None for me, huh?”

“None for boys who make asses out of themselves,” Tsume shot back, picking up the dishes from the table. Kiba snickered as he wiped at the bottom of his nose. He reached out his hand to beckon Hinata.

“C’mon. We’re going to the nursery.” He all but demanded, thumbing behind him. Tsume sighed impatiently.

“Why don’t you ask if she wants to go, boy?” she snapped, hands on her hips. Kiba recoiled slightly from the scolding before glancing at Hinata, who was awkwardly avoiding both of their eyes.

“Ah—right. Sorry, Hinata. Come with me to the nursery?” Kiba’s voice tempered and Tsume gave a contented smirk, clasping her arms. Hinata finally looked up and nodded, lifting from her seat.

“I think I’d like that,” she said, truthfully. It had been a long time since she had been to the Inuzuka nursery, but the sheer number of excitable pups was always a surefire way to cheer her up.

Kiba grinned as she joined his side, glancing back at his mother and mouthing a quick “thank you” as they left. Tsume waved him away, shaking her head.

The pair walked in silence for a few moments before Kiba started, “hey.” Hinata looked up at him with expectantly raised eyebrows. She found him looking a bit fidgety, one hand rubbing the back of his head. “I—uh—I’m sorry for teasing you so much. I’ll let up.” She looked back down at the ground in front of them, feeling red overcome her cheeks. Kiba wasn’t normally one for apologizing, so she knew he meant it. Admittedly, it made her feel better.

“Thank you, Kiba,” she whispered, pulling her hands behind her back to join. “I’m sorry for…everything. I know what you do comes from a good place. So…I’m sorry.”

“Tch,” Kiba puffed, waving a hand in front of his face. “Don’t be. Here.” Upon approaching the nursery, he grabbed the door for her, allowing her to go in before closing the door behind himself. They went through the second set of doors and Hinata felt that sense of joy immediately fill her heart upon the sight of tens of puppies all scrambling towards her. Finally, a genuine look of happiness overtook her face as she fell to her knees, holding her arms out for whatever puppies might tackle her.

Kiba stood back and leaned against a wall, arms folded as he watched her erupt into giggles and babytalk. It was the happiest he’d seen her in…gods, he didn’t even know how long, truth be told. “Well, hello! And hello to you! And you, oh my-your fur is so—and you!”

Yeah. This was a good idea.

“Hey you two!” Both looked up, though Hinata only did momentarily before turning her attention back to the pups as Hana emerged from a side room, pulling surgical gloves off.

“Hello!” Hinata’s voice was light and energetic as she hugged puppies to herself. Kiba grinned down at his sister as she approached him.

“Good idea, bringing her here.” Hana chuckled, tossing the gloves in a waste bin. “Lot of Inuzuka have been put out on tracking missions, poor pups are barely getting any attention these last few days.”

“Oh yeah?” Kiba perked an eyebrow, tilting his head at her.

“You’ve been so busy with your…” Hana glanced over at Hinata before lowering her voice, teasing, “princess.” Kiba rolled his eyes, stealing a look at Hinata as well to make sure she hadn’t heard, and Hana brought her voice back to normal volume. “Plus, you were gone for what, six months? You haven’t been keeping up with what’s going on in the clan!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kiba swiped at his nose before shoving his hands in his pockets. “It was three months,” he corrected before shrugging. “Sorry, alright?”

“It’s fine.” Hana shrugged, propping herself up against the wall next to him. “How’s she been?”

“Getting better.” He nodded, eyes fixed on Hinata as she diligently made her way through every pup, no pup going without some love. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Hey, they really like you!” Hana called, causing Hinata to look up with a smile. “You ever wanna volunteer to walk ‘em, just come let me know! They’d love you.”

“Really?” Hinata asked, genuinely as she paused. Hana nodded and Kiba raised his eyebrows at the act of kindness from his sister.

“That’s nice of you,” Kiba offered as Hinata went back to playing with the puppies. Hana shrugged.

“Free labor.” She chuckled, pushing herself from her leaning position. “Gotta get back to my next appointment.”

Kiba nodded as she took leave, looking back at Hinata. Meanwhile, Hinata was making her way through the last of the pups, attentively making sure each one got head scratches and belly rubs.

She hadn’t felt this kind of peace in a while. Peace that wasn’t really peaceful per se but was simple. Paying attention to something so sweet and innocent with so much energy was good for the mind, she figured. She couldn’t help but contemplate Hana’s offer. She was still technically bound to the village, so she couldn’t leave to walk them farther without explicit permission…permission she would have to obtain from Naruto. She pushed the thought out of her mind, choosing to focus her attention on the pups.

Later, Kiba joined her as she decided to head to the market. Strangely, he was quiet for most of their journey. She found it somewhat unsettling, he seemed fairly out of it. He didn’t normally join her on her walks around the village, but perhaps he was today because they had started the day together. But the fact he was being so silent was odd.

“Kiba?” She decided to instigate conversation now as she looked over the selection of meat. He snapped from his trance to look at her, then the meat. “Uhm…I noticed you were running low on proteins. Would you like to pick some?”

“Oh.” Kiba blinked as if coming out of a fog, then tilted his head thoughtfully at her before nodding. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

After more shopping, she decided it was time to head home.

Home.

Where was home? For now, she supposed it was Kiba’s home. She figured that was alright with her.

When they returned and finished putting away what Hinata had picked out, Kiba pulled his jacket back on, earning an inquisitive look from Hinata. He glanced at her before patting her gently on the head. “I’m going out for a bit tonight. Sorry about dinner.”

“Oh.” Hinata shook her head, then nodded in an odd movement. “Of course. I’ll be alright.”

“Okay.” Kiba nodded back before eyeing her warily. “You won’t take off, will you?”

Hinata paused at the question, before shaking her head once more. “I won’t.” Kiba nodded with what seemed like a somewhat forced smile before taking his leave. Hinata watched as the door closed behind him and couldn’t make out what she was feeling. Sadness? Loneliness? She hadn’t been alone for the night since she returned.

Sorry about dinner…

It all felt so…domestic. She was trying to figure out when she stopped minding it. Now she was trying to figure out what this tightening in her gut was, at the realization he was leaving her alone for the night.

She went about what was a somewhat normal routine, making herself dinner and getting ready for bed. For some reason, she felt empty as she shut the door to Kiba’s room without seeing him lounging on the couch. She shook off the feeling and put herself to bed, knowing she would have an especially hard time sleeping tonight.

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chickenpox96 · 9 months

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#fearless #trapped in my mind

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bodaciousandblack · 1 year

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please, get me the fuck outta here!

#trapped in my mind #i want out #kid cudi #Spotify

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gvminiart · 2 years

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trapped in my mind by me

#gvmini #retro futurism #retro futuristic #retro futuristic art #spiritual #spiritual art #trapped in my mind #y2k #art #photoshop #y2k art #music #fashion

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wayfaringauthorofficial · 2 years

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You take that path away from home, through the dark forest to a new beginning, something bigger and better. You know you’ll find your way back, but for now you just walk on and on and on, doing your best to keep the tears from falling. Life hums and goes on around you, all while you do everything to block it out. The pain, the suffering, the unbearable weight of the world you have created heaving on your shoulders. Try to push it away, but part of you won’t dare. So the air leaves your lungs and you collapse in longing, gasping and retching to get back what was yours. You knew this would happen, that becoming this put-together version of a girl would never be easy, wouldn’t just be handed to you. You knew that this happiness was too good to be true, because you don’t deserve the world you were born into, gifted a place in by some chance of fate. But what if this isn’t what you wanted, what you asked for? What if all that is coming, all that you will earn, will undo this work you did to become whoever you are now? They make it look so easy, belonging in this place. But why does your presence, your very own existence, feel so unwelcome, so unwanted? Maybe he does everything to convince you of the opposite, but the demons can’t help but put fear in your mind. They can’t help but taunt you and the strength you have worked so hard to find. You challenge them, scare them because they know you became strong enough to overcome them. -Midnight stroll.

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bhavcore · 2 years

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i would like to be like my mother, but never her. never.

#it is what it is #everything is blue #trapped in my mind #idk what im doing #idk man #daddy issues #anyway lmao #im bored #writing

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poetryforabrokenheart · 2 years

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Trapped in a Labyrinth of Being Left Behind

I'm going insane

I'm going mad

The world is turning without me

I can't keep up

Please

Wait for me!

Stop the bus

Stop the train

Stop running away from me!

Please

Don't leave me here alone

Don't let me rot in my thoughts

It's so dark

It's so cold

I can't find the switch

I can't see the light

It's so dark

I'm scared

I'm terrified

My mind is numb

My senses fading

Death is welcoming me

But Fear is holding me

Like a mother to her newborn

She won't let me go

But I don't want to leave

I want to be free

I want to see the sun again

I want to see you

I can't remember your features

I can't remember your voice

I can't remember your name

My name

I can't remember my name

I don't know who I am

Why am I here?

No no no

No no no no no

I'm going mad

I'm going insane

#Poetry for a broken heart #poetry #poems #words #poetic #lovely poetry #trapped in my mind #captured in a world without civilization #It's so...peaceful at last

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jarsarahere · 2 years

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Why don't I want to change? What is so beautiful about this side of things?? I want to be the person my parents hope I turn out to be, a happy and safe person.

#deppresion #deppressed #slef harm #depressing shit #tw s3lf harm #tw self destructive behavior #cvtt1ng #depressiv #trapped #trapped in my mind

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trappedinmy-mind · 2 years

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12:08 am

#midnight things #sadness #traffic #city #balcony #leaf #plant #felt bad #feel better now lol #bandaid #bandaid for pain for now #lonley #feelings #thoughts #trapped in my mind #parts of my mind #emotions #honest #my mind

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kiljoius · 1 year

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Trapped In My Mind

AO3 | FFN

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First Chapter

Chapter 2: Did Your Ego Slow?

Two days passed in relative silence and peace. Shino was a quiet companion every day. The Aburame provided her meals and showers, and were respectful of her privacy, as they always had been. Shino never pressed her for information, simply greeted her every day and engaged in idle chatter about bugs and flowers, nothing about the village and her excursions. She didn’t realize how much she missed these normal interactions. It was nice. She was even beginning to miss Kiba’s brass nature interrupting their peace with his loud voice, large movements, boyish laughter. When the day came for him to return, Shino and Hinata patiently waited at the front gates, sitting together in the grass.

“How have you two been?” Hinata finally asked, the first personal conversation she had initiated her entire time there. Shino perked an eyebrow at her, then looked away, clearly conflicted on how to answer, but not to just anyone. Shino was a master at indifference, but the way he looked away to her was so obvious.

“Well. Busy,” he answered simply. She nodded, deciding it was better to leave it at that.. Then they heard a bark, and Hinata found herself shooting to her feet. If she had more time to think on it, she'd even say she was...excited. Her heart lifted a bit at the thought of seeing Kiba. She hadn’t felt excited about anything in a very long time. Being back with Shino was making her nostalgic. She was trying to fight that feeling. She controlled her breathing as she activated her byakugan, scanning for him. His familiar chakra caught her eye, and she breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s him?”

“Yes, yes it's him," she whispered as Shino also got to his feet. Their voices carried through the forest to their ears for a few moments until they were within eyesight. She tilted her head when both Kiba and Akamaru froze in their tracks. They were still too far away for her to make them out very well, but she saw the glint of red from Kiba’s cheeks and certainly saw the large white mass next to him. Then, suddenly, the boy and dog pair bolted forward. Within seconds, she had them completely in view, a blur, and not a second later, she was being picked up and swung around.

“I knew I could smell you!”

The boy…?

His voice was different. Deep.

She let herself be carried, and couldn’t help but notice how much bigger his arms felt. And how high up she was. He grew while she was gone. She felt the softness of Akamaru’s fur against her leg as well, and she let a smile slip. When he finally put her down, she looked up at him properly. That trademark toothy grin, fangs and all. But everything else about him was different. His hair was longer, almost brushing his shoulders and a little tamer than it used to be. Shadow on his jaw. Her eyes trailed, his chest was bigger, arms bigger, everything was…bigger. It threw her for a loop, and she didn’t realize until then she was gaping at him.

“Oi, Hinata!” She shook her head as he snapped his fingers in her face, unaware that he had been talking. She returned her eyes to his face, which was now frowning and leaning very close to hers. “Where the hell have you been?!”

“Oh…” Hinata sighed, looking away. While Shino wouldn’t question her, of course Kiba would, relentlessly. She tried to let her hair curtain her face, suddenly missing her longer hair.

“Shino and I have been worried out of our minds that you were dead. You never responded to our messages!” Kiba grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “I’ve been looking for you, you know that? We both have. When we have free time, we’re out there.”

“You have?” Hinata grimaced, looking from Kiba to Shino, who was looking away. They had wasted their time looking for her, she had done everything possible to ensure no one would find her, especially Hyūga. She felt guilty. She should have known, and maybe she did, and that was why she didn’t tell them. They would look for her, and persuade her to come back, and that was the last thing she wanted when she left. She returned her eyes to Kiba’s, and he looked increasingly frustrated.

“You took off without a word.” Kiba’s voice went lower, and she suddenly felt heat in her cheeks, a habit she thought she had kicked. “It’s fucked up, Hinata.”

“I-I’m sorry,” she choked out, her voice slightly wet. Kiba scrunched his nose up, sniffing out the tears emerging. He softened as they began to well at the bottoms of her eyes. She hadn’t cried in a while.

“Come here.” He didn’t ask, he demanded as he pulled her into a hug. She sighed against his jacket as he reached out his other arm for Shino, and they huddled as a trio. Both men enveloped her, and she hadn’t felt this sense of security in a very, very long time.

Shino and Hinata returned silently to the Aburame compound, Kiba having taken off momentarily to drop Akamaru off at his home and get changed. It gave Hinata time to think passed Kiba’s rowdy gestures. She knew he was going to pry it out of her, so she had to prepare herself.

She left to find her place in life. She left to find something more. She returned because her sister was getting married. Kakashi was the only one who had contact with her for the past two years. Nothing to get riled up over.

She sat at the dining table as Shino quietly prepared tea for Kiba’s arrival. Within moments, Kiba was bursting into the house, looking cleaner. He darted his eyes until they found his team, and he smiled, lazily kicking off his sandals before taking a seat next to Hinata. She forced a return smile. She would take it over being berated.

“You know you can’t keep secrets from me, right?” Kiba immediately launched in as he draped a long arm over the back of the sofa. She sighed, shaking her head. She couldn’t. “Out with it. Naruto proposed to Sakura, and you left.”

“Wh-no! That’s not the reason I left!” She immediately raised her hands in defense as Shino laid out cups of tea. Shino raised his eyebrows at the interaction, knowing full well this was Kiba’s time to shine.

“Bullshit,” he seethed, turning in his seat to face her directly. His glare made her shrink. “You can’t lie to me. You ran. And that was fine, you had to go through your process. But then you didn’t come back.”

“I…” She paused, staring down at their feet. She couldn’t respond. He was right, but she couldn’t stand to admit it out loud. It would make it too real.

“Why didn’t you come back? Why now?” Kiba pressed, leaning closer to her. Heat creeped over her cheeks once more as his strong features bore into her, and she suddenly felt exhausted. He placed his index finger and thumb on her chin and forced her to look at him. “We love you. You left us.”

Suddenly, everything went back.

With a blink, she found herself staring up at Kiba and Shino’s faces. She furrowed her eyebrows, pursed her lips. Kiba shook his head at her.

“Alright, I get it. Too forward.”

“Did I pass out?” Hinata whispered, slowly sitting up. Shino nodded.

“Same ol’ Hinata. But it was for me this time.” He chuckled, folding his arms as he turned away from her. She swallowed, willing herself to take deep breaths as she looked on him. She couldn’t help but notice how broad his shoulders were from the back. “Guess she likes what she sees, huh Shino?”

“Stop it!” Hinata breathed, shaking her head. Another chuckle as he fell back on the couch next to her, and Shino took the other side. She sucked in a deep breath as they leaned in to look at her. They always had a way of prying things out of her, especially when they tag teamed.

“You’re not leaving again.” Kiba finally broke the silence, his features dead serious. She looked up at him with wide eyes.

“That’s not-that’s not your decision to make, Kiba!” She spoke indignantly, turning her nose at him. His expression didn’t budge. She leaned in, eyebrows furrowing, trying to give off the air that he didn’t intimidate her. She had become so skilled at not letting others intimidate her over the years, she wasn’t going to let Kiba of all people break her. “No! I’m not staying! I-I can’t-“

“Why?” Shino pulled her attention to himself, and her eyes went wide, darting them his way.

“Shino-“

“I’ve been quiet the last two days, Hinata…” Shino sighed. “But Kiba’s right. You caused panic. Why? Because you left in the dead of night. All we had was Kakashi reassuring us you were out there, alive.” Hinata’s heart began thumping against her chest as they both questioned her.

“We can’t let you go, again, Hinata.” Kiba pulled her attention now. “It’s not healthy, what you’re doing.”

“You do not look well.” Shino added, causing her to look back.

“You’re thin.” Kiba dipped his eyes at her figure briefly. “Sickly. Whatever you’re up to, it’s not good for you, or the people who love you.”

She felt her hands begin to shake as she dropped her eyes into her lap, neck tired from whipping her gaze back and forth between her teammates. “You don’t know-“

“I do know,” Kiba retorted, closing the distance between them. His serious expression remained. “Stay and make things right, Hinata.”

“I can’t-I can’t do this.”

She leapt from the couch before they had a chance to realize what was happening. She bolted from the house, not bothering to grab her sandals or shut the door behind her, simply snatching her pack and running as hard as her heels could handle.

They would come after her, this she knew. So, she had to be quicker, and unpredictable. She made a sharp left into the old Uchiha district and hopped as high as she could, until she made it over the fencing around it. Then she made for the East. Maybe she could make it to the Mist and speak with her sister before they could catch her. She just knew she couldn’t stay.

Almost 50 kilometers out, she finally stopped running.

“Byakugan.”

She let out a sigh of relief at the lack of chakra signatures around her. Kiba and Shino had trailed her for almost 20 kilometers before their signatures began disappearing. So, she went 30 more. She could finally relax. She had been running and leaping, leaping and running for nearly three hours, and desperately needed a break. She fell to her knees on top of a thick tree branch and fumbled with her pack. Hands shaky, breathing unsteady, she managed to construct her sloppy tent.

She should have known. She should have known.

“There was no way he was going to let you leave like that…” Hinata whispered to the wind as she crawled into the mangled tent, sighing as she rested her head. She squeezed her eyes shut.

Waiting for Kiba was foolish. Going to see Shino was foolish. She had gotten the answers she sought; she should have left straight after her conversation with Konohamaru. Her pattern of weakness caught up with her, Shikamaru’s innocent request for her to go to see Shino breaking the walls she had built for the last two years. Her teammates meant the world to her, but she couldn’t stay in the Leaf. Kiba would never let her leave without a fight, she should have waited until night and snuck out. But she panicked and took off in the most dramatic way possible.

While Shino could be convinced to leave her and attempt to forget about her, Kiba could not. He made that much clear on many occasions. He was possessive of his friends, much like a pack leader. It was in his nature to be loyal, loyal to a fault. She loved him dearly, but he couldn’t begin to understand what she was going through. The constant ache in her heart, the dark thoughts. Milky eyes looking sadly on her as the life extinguishes behind them. Big blue orbs, scrunched into a smile at her. Pink hair falling over those blue orbs as he spins her around, laying kisses over her as she says “yes.”

Her nightmares, every night. She hadn’t had a restful night sleep in so long, she couldn’t even remember. It was certainly before the war. Sometimes she dreamt of Naruto and Sakura. Sometimes she dreamt of Hanabi. Sometimes she dreamt of an ugly old man her father would surely marry her off to. Sometimes she dreamt of Neji. Neji…another reason it was so painful to remain in the Leaf. Everything about the Hyūga compound brought memories of Neji. Everything outside of the Hyūga compound brought thoughts of Naruto. She felt trapped. When Naruto and Sakura began seeing each other, she gave a brave face and acted unaffected. It was okay, he deserved to be happy. Maybe it wouldn’t turn into anything serious. She still had a chance.

Then, while attending the after party to Ino and Sai’s wedding, while everyone was dancing and happy, she was dancing and happy, it happened. Naruto got down on one knee and the room fell silent as they watched him propose to Sakura.

“Sakura Haruno, I’ve loved you since I set eyes on you.” Sakura had rolled her eyes, an uncharacteristic blush on her cheeks as she looked down at her teammate. “I want to spend every moment together, forever. Marry me.”

As her mouth opened and the beginning of “yes” escaped her, Naruto already had her in his arms, spinning her and assaulting her with kisses. To anyone else, it was a beautiful moment. The Hero of the Leaf, finally winning his sweetheart over, displaying his love in a grand gesture. Everyone clapped, everyone hooted, everyone converged on them to congratulate them.

Except Hinata. And Kiba. Before Hinata could hit the floor, Kiba was already quietly whisking her away, and within seconds, they were in the forest, and Hinata was a mess of tears and sobs on the ground in front of him. She couldn’t remember how he looked, she just remembered him giving an exasperated sigh before getting to his knees to envelope her in his embrace. She barely remembered the rest of the night, she didn’t remember what he said to her, or what she said. She just remembered pain. Then meeting with Kakashi. Then placing a flower on Neji’s grave. Then gathering her things from her room and leaving the Hyūga compound, her father stopping her before she could reach the gates to threaten her. Then running, then numbness.

The smell of smoke woke her up.

No.

She ripped her blanket off her and tore open the flap of the tent to find Kiba casually roasting something over a flame. She darted her eyes around in a panic as he looked up at her, that charismatic smirk on his lips. “Morning, princess.” She pursed her lips at the nickname, planning her best method of escape. Before she could get too far in planning, he interrupted her. “I wouldn’t run if I was you. Anbu are all over this place. Naruto agreed it wasn’t the best idea to let you get too far again. You no longer have the Hokage’s permission.”

“What?!” She gasped, eyebrow cinching together. “I-I have explicit permission from Kakashi!”

“Kakashi isn’t Hokage anymore.” He spoke flatly, looking away from her. “And he’s on vacation. You’re not getting out of this. I convinced Naruto to let me bring you home.”

“Kiba, please.” Suddenly she felt weak. She crawled out of the tent towards him, eyes wide towards him as he looked down at her, a cool expression on his face. “Please don’t do this. Please let me go. I can’t go back.”

“Hinata…” He sighed, pressing his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his nose. She grabbed his forearm, tightening her grip around it.

“Please! I’m begging you! I can’t go back, it’s too painful.” Her voice was pleading. “I can’t be there. I don’t want to go back!”

“You’ve had two years, Hinata,” he snapped, eyebrows lowering angrily, causing her to recoil. “Don’t you think that’s enough to get over a stupid crush?”

The smack against his cheek rang through the forest, the position of his freshly hit cheek frozen. Suddenly, she gasped and threw her hands over her mouth, shocked by herself. She watched as his jaw flexed. She had never hit him in anger before. Suddenly, he snatched one of her wrists, pulling it from her mouth and clenched it to the point of pain, forcing her eyes up at his.

“That’s all you’re getting.” Kiba growled, eyes boring into her. She tugged at her wrist, her other hand attempting to pry it from him with a frightened look on her face.

“I-I’m sorry, Kiba-“

“Don’t,” he whispered, suddenly releasing her as his eyes refocused on the fire. “Just be quiet.”

Hinata fell on her bottom, staring at the red handprint on his marked cheek. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead against them, and proceeded to sob. She couldn’t escape this. She felt like she was losing her mind. And she probably was.

She was being a brat. Kiba was becoming increasingly frustrated with her slow pace, knowing full well she could go faster. She outran him by a long shot yesterday, and here she was, dragging her feet like a child being forced to go to school.

“Pick up the pace, Hina,” he grumbled, nudging at her elbow. She recoiled and refused to meet his eyes. “Hey!” He stopped, grabbing her shoulders. He shook her lightly until she finally looked up, anger in her eyes. “You can be pissy if you want, but I’m not making a day’s trip into three days because you’re pouting!”

“I’m not pouting...” she murmured, looking away from him. He shook her once more, but she refused to meet his gaze. Then he let go of her, glaring down at her.

Fine. If she was going to act like a child, he would treat her like one.

In one swift motion, he had her slung over his shoulder. Her gasp and yelp did not deter him as he began running forward.

“Put me down, Kiba! Now!” she protested, banging her fists on his back. He ignored her. “Kiba!”

“No use fighting,” he finally responded. “I’m not letting you go.”

“Put me down!” she repeated, still wailing on him. “This is completely uncalled for!”

When he felt her hands begin to move with intention, he scoffed once more. “I wouldn’t try any ninjutsu.”

“You’re horrible!” she continued, her hands falling. “Horrible. You hate me. That’s the only way I can explain it, you must despise me.” He ignored her once more, and after a few minutes of wasting her voice and energy, she finally quieted and slumped over. He frowned at the familiar feeling of her shaking against him began. She was crying again. He let out a frustrated sigh but continued on.

After a few hours, the gates of the Leaf glimmered in the distance. He stopped suddenly, and gently set her down on her feet. “I’ll let you walk in with dignity if you quit being a brat.”

“When did you become so cruel?” Hinata whispered, eyes on the ground. He rolled his eyes.

“Enough drama, Hina. I’m not being cruel, I’m being your friend, and doing what a best friend should do.” He bent downward to force her to look at him. She violently turned her head so he couldn’t catch her. He frowned, another frustrated sigh, and snatched her wrist, practically dragging her. “It’s no skin off my ass if you look like a fool being dragged in by me by the whole village.”

“FINE!” He skidded on his feet at her thundering, shooting her a look over his shoulder. She ripped her wrist away from him and began stomping towards the gate. He’d take it. He jogged after her, keeping pace next to her, looking down at her anxiously. She was so, so different.

No longer the lovely, quiet, kindhearted girl that used to be his teammate. She was cold, sullen, and aggressive. Like some sort of wounded animal. He was concerned of what the future held for her; he knew he had to keep her home.

Over the past two years, Kiba felt like he was slowly losing his mind looking for her and saw the same in Shino. They would spend countless nights together after a day of splitting up to cover ground. She was sneaky, they always knew that. But they didn’t know she would be able to cover her tracks that well. He supposed it made sense. As the tracking team, it would be logical that she would know how to hide herself from sensory types, especially her own team. Frankly, he was proud. But he cursed her for it.

After that night when Naruto had proposed to Sakura in front of everyone, he knew she would need some space. That’s why he didn’t try to find her right away. He figured she would need some time to clear her head, then come back, fresh and new, or at least ready to deal with it. But weeks turned into months, and he and Shino began to panic. They sought permission from Kakashi to go over the borders to try to find her, only to be told that she was granted explicit permission by him to travel. He warned it would not be easy to find her, and that he was in communication with her to ensure her safety.

Then he did the unthinkable. He went to Hiashi.

He pleaded the clan leader to put more effort into finding his daughter. But months had passed, and Hiashi appeared indifferent to her fleeing, if not a bit spiteful. He had told Kiba that he cared not for her return, and when she did return, she would not be welcomed back to the Hyūga. He almost launched at the elder at those words, but Shino was there to reign him in. He left feeling angrier than he had since the conclusion of the war.

The night Naruto proposed to Sakura, he immediately covered her ears and took her to the forest. As soon as Naruto got down on one knee, he planned their escape. He already knew how Hinata would react. He held her, for hours as she sobbed. He whispered comfort to her, as much as it pained him to see her in such a state of disarray. He stroked her hair, locked her in his arms, kissed the top of her head, and let her soak his robes in tears until she finally passed out from exhaustion.

It was a terrible night. He remembered carrying her to the spare bedroom in his house. He tucked her into bed, gave her a goodnight kiss on the forehead, and told her he loved her, even though she was asleep. The next morning, he got up bright and early to visit the bakery to pick up fresh cinnamon rolls to bring back to her, but she was already gone. He didn’t know that the night before would be the last time he would see her for two entire years.

Every day, he woke up thinking of her. He had begun to lose hope, and hesitantly accepted a mission that would take him from the village for three months. Of course, she would return while he was gone, he was just thankful it was towards the end and Shino managed to convince her to stick around for his sake. But now, he felt further from her than ever before.

They walked quietly next to each other until they reached the Hokage’s tower. They stood in silence in front of the doors to the advisor’s office. Finally, she looked up at Kiba one last time as a final plea, her face contorted with misery and pain. His lips downturned, but he slid his hand into hers, and briefly, she allowed him to squeeze. Then she yanked it back, features morphing into anger before she shoved her way in, Kiba following after. Shikamaru hopped up from his desk and immediately entered the Hokage’s office before returning for her. When Kiba tried to follow, she stopped shortly and glared up at him.

“That will be all, Kiba,” she spoke clearly, obviously catching the look of hurt flashing over his eyes before his features relaxed. He nodded and turned on his heel, letting her leave freely. When the door shut, he let his shoulders slump with a shaky breath.

What happened to her?

Dutifully, Kiba waited with Shikamaru while Hinata met with Naruto. With crossed arms, he drummed his fingers on his bicep, staring intently at the door.

“Glaring it down won’t make it open sooner,” Shikamaru chided, looking up from the paperwork he was sorting through. Kiba shot him a quick glare before returning his eyes to the door. “Might as well sit down. You just ran, what, 50 kilometers, then another 50?”

“I’m fine,” Kiba said, quickly, brushing him off. Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he looked back down at his paperwork.

“Any clue why she’s so intent on getting out of here?” he asked without raising his eyes. Kiba looked at him incredulously.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the genius Nara of our generation?” he spat back, lowering his eyebrows at him. Shikamaru let out a low chuckle.

“Just wondered what it was from your perspective.” He shrugged, looking back up with idle eyes.

“Naruto and Sakura of course,” he replied quickly, shaking his head. Shikamaru tilted his.

“Think that’s it?” he asked, innocently. Kiba glowered down at his old schoolmate, wondering what he was trying to force out of him. He paused to rake over his own thoughts.

“Well, I mean…I know it hurts her to think of Neji, I guess.” He looked up in thought. “Being at the Hyūga compound doesn’t help with that, I know. She’s also scared of her father, and what plans he might have for her. Plus, just the overall trauma of the war weighs down on all of us, I guess.”

Shikamaru smirked at Kiba’s thoughtfulness. Once a rambunctious, loud mouthed idiot with little regard for others was really a full grown, perceptive adult now. He nodded. “So, if you know all that, maybe you should be a little…I dunno, kinder to her? More understanding?” Kiba lowered his eyes at him, lips pressing into a thin line. “I saw you approach the gates, carrying her. You seemed pretty frustrated out there, big guy.”

Kiba stopped to consider his words. Indeed, he had been incredibly frustrated with her because she had hurt him. And then when he finally got her back, she proceeded to shove what felt like a knife through his heart once more. He wasn’t going to let her go so easily again. But in his fury, his haste to get her back, he hadn’t stopped to consider that it was really for selfish reasons he had gone after her. And his selfish reasons drove him to act in anger with her.

Damnit, now he was feeling guilty.

“Just a thought.” Shikamaru snapped him from his own thoughts as he stretched with a yawn. Kiba crinkled his nose as he caught the yawn, imitating him as he fell back into one of the seats provided.

Hinata had been through a tremendous amount, he knew. And he knew he couldn’t understand the extent of her pain. Through their years, he learned a considerable amount about her past. Her humiliating defeat by Hanabi, the physical and verbal abuse from both her father and Neji before Neji came around. Which of course only made his death all the more tragic. She had spent much of her childhood wishing for him to be her friend once more, her brother.

Finally, she had a spark of happiness in her life when Neji slowly warmed back up. Kiba saw how happy it made her to have him back, even the smallest kindnesses she would gush about. He never really liked the guy, in fact hated him for a good portion of their genin days for his treatment of her and nearly killing her during the chunnin exams. But he had to respect him for the powerhouse and tactician he was. And he couldn’t deny it made him happy to see her happy, so he begrudgingly accepted Neji as a ‘good person.’

When she finally felt she was getting to be on equal footing with him, and felt closer to him than ever, he was killed. In the heat of battle, not too many people saw it happen, and even the people who did had little time to mourn him, including Hinata. The effects didn’t really sink in until they returned home and laid all who fell to rest. Kiba and Shino, along with others who suffered the least losses, were assigned to retrieve bodies. It was one of the worst missions he had to endure in his life. It felt worse than the actual battling itself. It was Kiba who found Neji. Bodies had piled so high, they didn’t have the time or energy to retrieve him when they initially returned home.

It was a gruesome sight. His eye sockets were empty, the caged bird seal activated. But he made getting Neji back his number one priority. When he finally got him to the Hyūga compound and she laid eyes on him, she immediately fell to her knees. Her sobs still haunted him. Hiashi’s cold gaze chilled him as he carefully took the branch Hyūga from his arms. Immediately, he had fallen next to Hinata and held her. It was a position he was unfortunately becoming all too familiar with.

He just wanted to protect her. He wanted to hold her and shield her from the problems of the outside world. Put her in a bubble and never let anything wrong her again.

After a few months of mourning from the entire village, as well as rebuilding, regular missions picked up again. And Hinata began cheering up. She held a strong façade for everyone and resumed missions as team 8. Asuma and Kurenai’s baby was born, and they had a blissful moment as a team to dote on the newest Sarutobi. It really felt like things were getting back to normal. Hinata impressed Kiba beyond his imagination when she heard the news of Sakura and Naruto’s budding romance. She took it in stride, despite a small look of pain flashing over her face when they were mentioned. He really felt like he had his teammate back.

Then Ino and Sai’s wedding happened, and all of her progress came undone.

His initial understanding of her feelings turned to frustration when she didn’t return for some months. Now here he was, having to be told by Shikamaru of all people to consider her feelings.

Love made people stupid, that much was clear.

Hinata sat silently in the chair across from Naruto, hands clasped in her lap and staring blankly out the window to her right. Naruto sat at his desk, chin resting on his intertwined hands as he looked on her, debating the best way to start. He had hoped she would come in, ready to talk, ready to say anything, but she simply walked in, bowed, and took a seat, devoid of sound or emotion. The negative energy she was radiating was poisonous. He sighed and finally leaned back in his chair.

He started. “Hinata…I’m sorry it had to be like this.” He paused to see if she would respond, and when there was none, he continued. “I think two years is enough time to wander. Don’t you think you should come home—to the Leaf?” More silence. “Everyone misses you, and team 8 has been lacking-“

“Team 8 disbanded years ago.” Hinata finally spoke bitterly but did not look at him. He frowned at her forwardness.

“But you still function like your team 8—our investigative missions haven’t been the same without you. Your byakugan is the farthest reaching of any Hyūga—” Hinata scoffed at the compliment, Neji had the farthest reaching, “—well. Anyway. Everyone wants you to stay, Hinata. And I really think your sister could use your support right now.”

“What do you know of my sister?” Hinata whispered to her lap. Naruto sighed.

“I know she misses you. I know she talks about you all the time. I know she’s nervous about taking over your clan. I know she’s anxious about the marriage. I know she needs her big sister.”

“And how would you know that?”

“Konohamaru.”

Quiet overtook the room for a few tense minutes before Naruto stood up, rounding his desk to lean back on it.

“Did you find meaning out there?” Naruto finally asked. “Out there, outside the Land of Fire? Did you find what you were looking for?”

Hinata’s breath caught in her throat at the question. In barely a breath, she said, “no.”

“Then don’t you think what you’re looking for…is here?”

No.

No, no, no.

“I have to go.” Hinata stood up abruptly and slammed the door of his office open, trying to escape. Suddenly, she found herself paralyzed, only able to shift her eyes to her left to find Shikamaru with his hands clasped.

“Trying to escape again?” Kiba was to the right, arms folded disapprovingly. She swallowed the lump in her throat before relaxing, realizing she couldn’t escape Shikamaru’s shadow possession jutsu. It was something she had never experienced, and it was terrifying, to be honest. Complete lack of control. Shikamaru sighed as he turned towards Naruto’s form in the frame of the door, forcing her to face him as well. She lowered her eyes to avoid his sympathetic gaze.

“Look Hinata—” Naruto let out a tired sigh as he leaned against the doorframe to his office, “—just stay a few weeks, please? Until after the wedding, sort stuff out. If you still really want to leave…then I’ll grant it to you.”

Hinata jaw clenched. “So, you’re keeping me hostage?”

“You’re a citizen of the Leaf. There are rules, Hinata.” Shikamaru lowered his eyes at her.

“Sorry, Hinata. But I think it’s best you stay a while and cool off. Your sister will be back soon.” Naruto’s voice sounded so…mature and even. She frowned.

“What happened to not being able to argue with Hyūga?” she whispered, pain etched in her voice and tears threatening to fall, causing Naruto to wince. Kiba’s eyes shifted between the three uncomfortably before he stepped towards Hinata.

“Let her go, Shikamaru.” His voice was low. Shikamaru glanced at Naruto who nodded him along. As he released the jutsu, Hinata’s knees buckled, but Kiba was ready to snatch her up.

“I…I can’t go home…” she whispered against his jacket, barely audible. “I don’t have a home.”

“She can’t go back to the Hyūga compound.” Kiba frowned, looking up at Naruto who nodded solemnly.

“I can put her up somewhere…” Naruto offered, but Kiba shook his head.

“I’ll take her for now.” Naruto tilted his head, glancing between the two before nodding once more.

Suddenly, exhaustion took her as the men around her took control of her future. She was helpless. Like always. Black consumed her vision.

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kiljoius-writes · 1 year

Text

Trapped In My Mind

Ao3 | FFN

Previous Chapter | Next (Final) Chapter

First Chapter

Chapter 6: Want to Want You

Want to Want You

Hinata spent the night at Tsume’s.

Tsume had always been the closest to a motherly figure Hinata could get, she made that quite clear during one of her visits when she was still a genin. It was a morning that Hinata was meeting Kiba to embark on a mission together, and Tsume very loudly demanded to know why she had bruises on her collarbone and ankles. When she revealed it wasn’t out of the ordinary to be ‘a little’ bruised after training with her cousin, that’s when Tsume officially took on that role. Even Hanabi knew it.

And that’s why Hanabi was cuddling into Hinata’s arms in the early morning in Tsume’s house.

When Hinata roused, her face feeling puffy and her lungs phlegmy, she looked out. It was still dark. She took in a shaky sigh and carefully peeled herself away from her sister.

She got up and brushed at her pants.

“You know I’m a shinobi, right?”

Her teeth gritted together as she slowly turned to her sister. Hanabi was already propped up, rubbing sleep from her eye.

“A pretty damn good one, too.”

Hinata let a smile slip at that.

“Where you goin’?”

Hinata sighed, looking away.

“Not to run away…?”

“No.”

Again, quiet came over them. Hanabi didn’t seem willing to dare her sister right now, and Hinata admired that restraint she never seemed to have in the past. She really was…grown, now.

“I…I know I shouldn’t leave…and, Hanabi, I want…” Her voice went very quiet, making sure she wasn’t waking any pups or irritable Inuzuka mamas. “I want to be here, for you. I do.”

She peered up and was relieved to see a smile on Hanabi’s face. So she relaxed, too. Hanabi cleared her throat, then sat up fully. “I…I was hoping you’d come back when you heard about the wedding.”

Hinata paused, eyes still locked on her sister.

“Not that…that I did this for that!” Hanabi laughed, looking down at her lap. “Uhm, the whole thing with Kono…er—Konohamaru I mean.”

Kono.

A nickname.

Hinata smiled.

“That was…I guess, organic? I don’t know.” Hanabi giggled softly, looking up to meet milky eyes to milky eyes. “Whatever, who cares about that, right? I just…yeah, I love him, but—yeah, I was hoping word of the wedding would reach you…and that maybe…”

Hinata wanted to keep smiling, she really did, but those words were heavy on her heart. So it dipped to a regretful look, and she stepped forward. “Hanabi…I will—”

“Always be here,” Hanabi finished, smiling small as she clutched her fists. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Somethin’ goes wrong, elder sisters there. I know that.”

Hinata paused, biting her lips together. Hanabi reached her hands out and she couldn’t help but take them.

“I just hope…that you know…” Hanabi sighed, deeply, peering away, “…how incredibly…difficult…” Hinata’s chest tightened, “…it is…to be in this disgusting room.”

Laughter burst out of her involuntarily.

Hanabi couldn’t seem to help it either, and soon, both girls were in stitches. Painful stitches, but a good pain. Their giggles rang through the home, and then—Tsume burst into the room.

“Hina?!”

“Oh—”

Both girls immediately scrambled to their feet and bowed in respect.

Seemed they weren’t so different after all.

Tsume stood and inhaled deeply. Then a little smile took over her lips, turned to a smirk as she crossed her arms. Kuromaru sat next to her, looking disapprovingly.

“What’s the joke, then?” Tsume asked with amusement. “C’mon, can’t wake me up without letting me in.”

Hanabi couldn’t seem to help the giggle bursting in her throat, and blurted it out: “It smells in here!”

With that, Tsume had her hands on her knees as she wheezed.

“Oh—goddamnit—” Tsume gasped out, “please tell my idiot boy that, little Hyūga!”

Now all three women were laughing, and wow—wow. It felt…

It felt good.

“His—his room—” Hinata gasped out, grabbing Hanabi’s elbow. “I hated it!”

“You’re not the only one!” Tsume laughed, wiping phantom tears from her eyes as Kuromaru lay on the ground, unamused.

“I can see why!” Hanabi burst out, rolling onto her back on the floor. “It’s not that it smells like dog, I love dogs!” Kuromaru perked up. “It’s that it smells like old gyoza and cabbage!!!”

All three looked up when Kuromaru let out a snicker, turning his head so his face was away on his paws.

Five in the morning, about one or two hours before most would rise for the morning, lay Tsume, Hanabi, and Hinata, cracking up about how terrible Kiba’s old room was. While Kuromaru acted as the intermediary. And Hinata realized this is what life was for.

Silly, idiotic moments like this.

Bizarre, out-of-character instances that brought her back to reality.

Feeling a sense of freedom. In the moment.

And Hinata willed herself to not start crying again.

As they calmed down from their individual fits, all three women rose, and Tsume, as the most mature, beckoned them. “C’mon little ladies, let’s go make breakfast, huh?”

As Hinata and Hanabi calmed down, they fixed each other’s outfits, so they would hang correctly, and their hair, so it wasn’t so wild. They went downstairs to meet Tsume in the kitchen.

“I forced Hana and Kiba to learn to cook.” Tsume’s voice was full of pride. “So they’d knock the socks off their little partners.”

Hinata felt a blush come on at the comment as she took a seat at the bar.

“You know, Ms. Tsume,” Hanabi piped up, not taking a seat, and instead making herself comfortable by opening up various cabinets in search of a mug.

“Upper right,” Tsume pointed out, nonchalantly.

“Thank you.” Hanabi beamed, opening the cabinet in question and grabbing a mug. “You know, Hana used to sub for my sensei?”

“I know.” Tsume grinned back as Hanabi lit a burner to boil some water.

“Honestly,” Hanabi started as she picked through the tea selection, “she was one of the coolest kunoichi I’ve ever known. Shame she never became a sensei herself.”

“Ah!” Tsume barked, stirring eggs in a pan. “Teaching’s never been for my Hana. She loves the pups, all animals really.”

Hinata watched with interest.

And shame.

Perhaps she…hadn’t been paying as much attention to her sister as she should have. She’d never heard that her own dear teammate’s sister had substituted as a sensei for her sister’s team. Perhaps that’s something she should have known…

“She was so cool,” Hanabi sighed as she ripped open a tea packet, “I’d love to do what she’s doing…”

Hinata eyed her sister with a little sadness, feeling the weight of those words.

“Ah, don’t worry, pup.” Tsume landed a heavy hand on Hanabi’s head, despite her being taller. “You tell your old man Hiashi to stick it up his ass!”

At this, both Hanabi and Hinata faltered. Hanabi was the first one to crack a smile. “Ms. Tsume, I don’t think—”

“Hey, hey—” Tsume interrupted with a waving hand. “Tsume is fine, little one.”

“Okay, okay,” Hanabi breathed, “Tsume! Tsume, listen to me.” Hinata raised her eyebrows at her sister, wondering where this could go. Because the fact of the matter was, Tsume had never been a woman to trifle with. She was kind, she was gentle, but she could also be fierce. Hinata was never to ruffle feathers, so to keep out of Tsume’s hair had always been in her nature. But… Hanabi was different. Always had been. And Hinata admired that.

“Oh?” Tsume’s voice was light with amusement as she leaned an elbow on the counter, leaning forward. “Please, tell me.”

“Okay.” Hanabi gathered air in her lungs, braced herself on the counter and faced Tsume. “Alright, so—I don’t give a shit about all this clan stuff, right?”

Tsume howled in laughter. A laughter Hinata wasn’t sure she ever heard before. Then she composed herself, hitting her own chest as she nodded. ”Yeah, okay, go on.”

“Father wants me to be clan leader, and sure, fine, I’ll do it.” Tsume was grinning as she listened. “But! But, I want things to change. And if he’s gonna make me take over, I’m gonna change them. And I’m so, so looking forward…to…”

“Him discovering you’re the stick up his ass?”

And now Hinata was laughing with them.

And...

Hinata was realizing this, right here, is what she needed.

All that was missing…was…

“Kiba!” Hinata pushed her seat back, and it fell to the ground.

The two other women’s laughter came to an abrupt halt as they looked up at the smaller one.

“Yeah, what about him?” Tsume chuckled, albeit with some curiosity.

“Wh-where do…do you think…”

“He went?” Hanabi finished, her expression falling. “He took the dogs and then…sort of…just left? Right?”

Tsume shook her head. “He came in to let me know he took a mission this earlier.”

Hinata’s heart clenched.

“He…did? He hasn’t…”

Silence fell as the words abruptly halted there.

“He’ll be back soon, I’m sure.” Hanabi was clearly trying to sound nonchalant. “He RSVP’d to my wedding, if he’s not back for that then, well, I mean…”

“He’ll make an ass of himself.” Tsume smirked, glancing from Hinata to Hanabi.

“Oh, Ms. Tsume—”

“Tsume! Tsume, for gods sake!”

“Tsume!” Hanabi barked laughter. “Gods I wish you were my mom!”

Quiet took over once more, and Hinata found that…she really, really hated it.

She didn’t realize how much she hated it until she was with people she cared about.

Her sister. Kiba’s mother.

People she…loved.

Silence.

Silence was never a thing when she was with Kiba.

She missed it.

“I…I’m going to go see if he’ll be back, soon.” Hinata’s voice was quiet as she spoke, but, somehow, she managed to get that sentence out, and both Hanabi and Tsume looked up in surprise.

“You sure, hun?” Tsume inquired.

“I can go with,” Hanabi offered, immediately.

“I…”

Hinata debated. She debated a million different scenarios in her head.

All of them ended with Kiba.

She was…a little caught off guard.

They usually ended with Naruto.

But this time…she thought of going to Naruto, and her mind instantly went to demanding when Kiba would be back.

Her Kiba.

When will he be back?

And she thought of…him. Walking through the front gates.

Burly arms. Leather jacket. Fangs.

The smirk. The way his sharp eyes would glow when they land on her. The way his arms automatically opened to her.

And now, guilt hit her like a truck.

“No…”

It’s involuntary, a tiny whisper.

“No…what?” Hanabi inquired, quietly.

“I…I hurt him…” Hinata mumbled, head hung, eyes glaring down at her own lap.

“Hurt Kiba?” Hanabi asked.

“I’m…oh…” Hinata gasped, sucking her lips together. “I’m the…the…” Her gaze finally cast upwards and met Tsume’s, who had an impossibly sympathetic expression on her face. And she spoke, “I’m the jerk.”

“Oh, hun.”

With that, Hanabi was holding her, again. Within moments, Tsume joined them, hugging the sisters.

How…nice.

As Hinata climbed to the top of the Hokage tower, she found her feet didn’t feel like they were full of lead, anymore.

And as she walked through the doorway to Shikamaru’s office to meet his surprised eyes, she found her stomach wasn’t bubbling with anxiety, anymore.

So, when she walked into the Hokage’s office to lock milky eyes with blue ones, and she found her heart and mind didn’t feel so clouded, anymore…she was relieved.

“Hey,” Naruto tilted his head curiously, “wasn’t expecting you back already? One of the chunin hold you up or somethin’?”

Hinata shook her head, stepping forward. She cleared her throat. “I was just…wondering, do you know when Kiba will return?”

Naruto blinked at her, then his eyes grew just a centimeter. The corner of his lip upturned as he reached out for a stray paper, pulling it in front of him. His eyes scanned briefly.

“Looks like…he’s just outside of the Leaf, maybe 60 kilometers north? Had him and Akamaru out there to track a missing package.” Naruto set the paper down, looking back up at her.

60 kilometers…I can run that in maybe four hours…

“I’d be all right with it if you wanna go find him.”

Hinata looked up, surprised, finding his grin growing. “O—oh?”

“Yeah!” Naruto kicked up his feet and leaned back, hands wrapped around his nape. “Why not? Hanabi’s back and she’d probably track you down herself if you really left, y’know?”

Hinata’s lips curled briefly at the thought. He was right, she would.

“Ah, go on. He was all pissy when he came in demanding a mission earlier, could use some cheering up from a pretty lady.”

“Pretty—” Hinata caught herself falling back to her old ways, hands instinctively pulling together. She inhaled a shaky breath before looking back up. “Right, well…uhm, thank you, Lord Hokage.”

“Hinata?”

She bit her lower lip as she raised her eyebrows expectantly.

“Can we go back to Naruto? Hinata and Naruto?”

She almost felt her upper lip tremble at that. Swallowing thickly, she nodded.

“Awesome.” His grin fell to something more like a warm smile. “See you soon.”

“Yes…” Hinata inhaled a shaky breath. “Yes, you will.”

Slowly, she turned to leave as his feet came back to the ground, moving to get back to his paperwork. But she decided, this was part of moving on. So, she stopped and looked over her shoulder.

“Congratulations…Naruto.” She watched him look up in surprise. “To you and Sakura, and your baby.”

Instantly, Naruto’s face brightened, and it actually made her feel…warm, to see him happy.

It was all she had ever really wanted, anyway. Was to see him happy.

He won the war. He won the woman he was in love with. He won his position as Hokage.

He deserved it all, she realized.

So she finally smiled back, for the first time…in how long, she had no clue. But it felt very, very good to smile at him, and not feel forced. And he smiled back.

“Thanks, Hinata.” His tone was low, and she nodded. “Now go! Before that idiot gets into trouble.”

Her smile remained as she exited the office of the Hokage. She even looked at Shikamaru and offered him a smile as well, to his confused expression. He gave a little wave, and she was off.

Off to find Kiba.

Her Kiba.

“Fuckin’ thing…”

Kiba kicked his foot at nothing, maybe a rock or some bug, but really, nothing. His mind was cloudy, and Akamaru whined at his clearly poor attitude. A small bark and Kiba shot him a glare.

“What?!” he huffed, rolling his eyes. “Don’t lecture me right now.”

A growl.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kiba sighed, looking off into the distance, “I know.”

Akamaru waltzed next to him, rubbing his side into his leg. Kiba’s lips pressed together.

“It’s hard,” he mumbled, glancing away. Akamaru’s persistence pushed him to fall on his butt, elbows resting on his knees as he sat in a lotus position. “I know I’m stupid.”

Akamaru huffed quietly.

“Jerk,” Kiba squinted at his old pup, offended. He ran his hand through his hair before setting it on Akamaru’s furry back. “I can’t control what happens with Naruto and Sakura. I’m trying, really hard to be there for her. Honestly…” He frowned. “It fuckin’ hurts.”

Akamaru responded with a tiny whine, resting his chin on Kiba’s leg.

“I want her to be happy…” he muttered, gritting his teeth. “But I gotta be happy to make that happen, right?”

Silence.

Kiba groaned, falling onto his back.

“FUCK!”

A few birds flapped away from Kiba as he yelled into the sky, Akamaru growling quietly next to him to show his disapproval of the strong language and emotion. He lay on the earth, limbs splayed every which way, glaring at the clouds above him. Sometimes Kiba wished he could just be a cloud, and let the wind take him wherever.

It was tough being the strong one. He admitted he was brash and rude a lot of the time, like when he told Ino to suck it up after Sasuke left, or just recently when he (as he would be the first to admit, was uncalled for) told Hinata she needed to get over “some stupid crush.” But it was because he cared, or at least, that’s what he told himself. Kiba found himself surrounded by hurt women, and it was honestly a little tiring.

His mom scared away his dad, at least that’s what his aunt had always told him. His sister was constantly dating assholes that never showed her any respect. His best friend was hopelessly in love with an idiot who was hopelessly in love with an idiot of his own (which Kiba still believed to this day was Sasuke, he was just lucky Sakura came around).

Kiba thought that maybe, he loved to a fault. It was how he was raised. His mom had always been a tough-loving parental figure, but she loved hard, and so he did, too. He loved his mom and sister. He loved Shino. He loved Kurenai and Mirai. He even loved that idiot, Naruto, and the rest of his old classmates. He really loved Hinata. Seeing her hurting, hurt him, too. And he kind of hated it.

So when he caught a whiff of her scent—that smelled like hibiscus and lavender, a scent he never thought he’d grow to know and love so much—he groaned. He pulled his hands over his face as Akamaru lifted his head, tilting it curiously out towards the south.

He really didn’t want to do this. He was getting tired of being yanked around.

But for her, he’d try.

He wouldn’t make it easy, though.

As her soft footsteps neared, he slung his arm over his eyes.

“Kiba…”

He especially hated the way his heart started to race when his name left her lips. It was almost like what he felt in battle, the adrenaline. It was an adrenaline he enjoyed, sometimes, especially when it came to her. But right now, it was making his mind fuzzy.

“Kiba…” she repeated, and he felt her kneel down next to him. She was alone. He was almost surprised she had the courage to come out here on her own. He wondered if Naruto granted her permission.

“Whadya want from me, Hina?” he exhaled shallowly as he said it, a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding since he detected her scent.

He felt Akamaru leave his knee, shifting over to lay his head in Hinata’s lap.

Traitor.

“To…listen.”

Listen, huh?

“Why should I?” The bitterness in his voice towards her was unfamiliar. It was a tone he’d use with Shikamaru or Ino. Fed up, tired of them. But he was fed up. He was tired. He didn’t want to feel this way.

But his heart was hurting. As fucking cheesy as that sounded.

Her silence was an indication that his tone hurt her, but he needed her to do this on her own. No more kid gloves.

He heard her little sigh and could smell the faint scent of breakfast. A typical breakfast of eggs, rice, sausage that his mom would make. She must have stayed the entire night at his mother’s and even stayed to eat. He had to wonder if his mom had any words of wisdom, as rough as she was. It was where his bluntness came from, after all.

“Because…you care for me.”

Kiba pressed his lips together into a harsh line. He had a few snarky words for that but chose to keep them inside.

“So…please?”

It was quiet, almost begging. Her voice sounded…desperate.

He couldn’t deny her. Never could, never will.

“Go on…” he grunted, arm still covering his eyes. Because he knew if he met her eyes, he wouldn’t be able to resist her.

Never could.

Never will.

A harsh truth he had to accept about this damn woman.

Sweet, gentle Hinata. Always opposing him personality-wise, always complimenting him personality-wise.

Fuck, I love her.

That little shaky breath left her lips and he had to try his best to not absorb it into himself.

Fuck. Fuck I hate to love her, sometimes.

Patience wasn’t Kiba’s best quality. Probably the worst.

“Go on, Hinata.”

“Okay,” she responded quickly, and he heard the fabric of her pants ruffle, probably from her fisting it. “I…I’m sorry.”

Kiba’s jaw clenched.

“I’m sorry to Hanabi. I’m sorry that I made her face all of this alone.”

He wanted to nod, but simply stayed still. Hanabi had always been in his peripheral. Since they were young, he had promised himself to look out for his teammate’s little sister. She was always in trouble, and he’d covered her ass more times than he could count. Especially with Konohamaru, since Hinata left and hadn’t been there to do it for her.

“I’m sorry…to Shino. For making him lonelier.”

Kiba felt sadness well up in him. Shino had always held a soft spot within him. His best friend. He saw what Hinata’s absence did to both of them. Shino…Shino had always been the ‘strong one’ in that regard. Kiba was always too loud, too open with his emotions. Shino was better at keeping it under wraps, but Kiba could always tell. Always had, and Hinata had, too.

“I’m sorry…I’m so, so sorry…to you.”

He wasn’t dumb. He knew he was next, but what would she say? What could she say?

“For…all of it.”

All of it, huh? Kind of a cop out…

“For not realizing it was you.”

His heart thrummed. He finally peeled his arm off his eyes so he could look at her. He nearly laughed when he did, too, because she looked like a wreck. Her hair was a mess, she had bags under her eyes, her shirt was hanging off one shoulder, and her feet looked black.

And it was then that he realized that he thought she was beautiful like this, too.

“Me, huh?” he whispered, raising his eyebrows at her. Despite the fact he wanted to just grab her and hold her and kiss her and not let go, he had to protect his heart, first. For as impatient as he was, he had to make sure this was real. He pulled himself up to sit, pulling one knee towards his chest to rest his forearm on it. “Sorry, Hinata. I just don’t get what you mean. I don’t know if you’re—” His breath hitched at the look of pain slowly contorting her features. He cleared his throat and willed himself to keep going. “—if you’re gonna run off on me again. You know I fuckin’—” he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as he averted his eyes, “I hate talking about my emotions and crap. But damn if I’m not hurt.”

“I know.” Her response was quick and he looked up at her to find her on her knees now, crawling towards him. He lowered his eyes at her. Gently: “I know I hurt you, and I hate that I did.”

His jaw flexed as she came up, close.

“I want to make it right,” she whispered, and his eyes darted to her lips. “I want to be here, with you. I want…” He raised his eyebrows and blinked at her as her eyes came to rest on his.

He could practically hear his blood pumping in his ears, and hers.

“I want to love you, Kiba.”

Hinata watched in anticipation as Kiba’s demeanor went completely stiff.

Then, in a blur of limbs and lips, he was holding her face and she found herself locked in a passionate kiss with him. She breathed out a relieved sigh as she wrapped her arms around his neck and sunk into him. His arm wrapped around her waist to bring her forward, and she found herself letting him.

Thank gods…

Akamaru whined next to him, and she gasped as Kiba tore himself from her for a brief moment to nod his head, dismissing the pup who gladly tore through the forest.

“K-Kib-“

“I fucking love you, Hinata.”

Her chest tightened with the air locked in it. He threaded his fingers into her hair and held her head firmly, not allowing her to turn away as she felt herself go red from the neck to the tips of her ears. He looked so, so serious, and wow—yes, his hands were definitely bigger.

“I might be an idiot, but sometimes, I wonder if you’re the bigger idiot.”

She gasped, eyes going wide as a smirk tugged at his lips. Her gaze fell on them, that fang popping out and she suddenly wondered how that fang would feel on her bottom lip. So she leaned in and pressed her lips against his again, hoping maybe he could read her mind.

Kiba had always been fairly intuitive to her feelings, so she shouldn’t have been surprised when she felt her bottom lip being teased by his teeth. She shuddered slightly as she grabbed at his coat, grabbed the lapels, and pulled them towards her. Then, he was falling onto his back as she pressed herself into him, and surprised even herself with how boldly she was moving to him. He tugged her over him and she felt one of those large, rough hands slide under her shirt to rest on her back.

Kissing was sloppier than she imagined, but maybe that was just Kiba. She found she really enjoyed the way he kissed her back, urgent and passionate, as if they had no time left. To be fair, she definitely didn’t feel like she had any time left, she had been running nonstop for a few hours now, dead set on getting here before the sun would set. It was almost perfect timing, actually, because the sun was low and cast a romantic-type sheen upon them.

She even opened her eyes, something she wasn’t sure was typical when locked in a passionate kiss, to see the glint of his red fang markings from the sun. Now she was sure she wanted to see those red fang markings every day, under the setting sun, in the moonlight, or in the glow of day. Whenever, wherever.

When her mind began going cloudy with more than just passion, but the need for oxygen is when she finally pulled her lips from his. He still had her locked in embrace, seemingly unwilling to let her go in any capacity but relented to her need for air. She took the moment to properly examine his face, eyes landing on the scar. She felt compelled to reach out for it, so she did, brushing her fingertips over it as his eyes followed her hand.

Quietly, she finally asked, “where did you get this…?”

Kiba scoffed, reaching up to grasp her wrist to pull it to his lips. She watched with wide eyes as he kissed the backs of her knuckles, then whispered, “not for you to worry about, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. Oh.

She ran her tongue over the spot he had bitten on her lower lip before shaking her head. “Please? I want to know.”

He rolled his eyes briefly before releasing her wrist, then reached up to rub at the scar. “Mission with Shino. Got pinned and the bastard damn near sunk a kunai into my skull. Shino’s beetles knocked the kunai from his hands, leaving a scar.”

Hinata frowned. A mission with Shino. A mission she was sure she would have been on, too, if she hadn’t left. His eyes dipped to her lips, and he shook his head as if he already knew she was blaming herself. She wondered if he knew how devastated she would be if he had actually succumbed to injury while she was gone. The thought was heavy on her, and she was realizing she couldn’t leave again. Not when those she cared about needed her. She sighed, quietly. “I should have been there…” she whispered, sliding a hand over his cheek, “to protect you.”

He smiled at that and rested his hand on her waist so both of his palms held her. She nearly shivered at the way his splayed hands almost covered her entire back. His eyes were warm on hers as he responded, “you’re here now, aren’t ya? Not planning on leaving me again, even with this ugly ass scar?”

She smiled, now, too. “I think the scar makes you more handsome.”

As his cheekbones turned pink, slowly blending in with his fang markings, she beamed at him. She actually quite liked the way he looked when he blushed, and she wanted to make it happen more often. His eyes shifted as the praise sat between them, before shaking his head. “You’re just full of surprises, Hina.”

She bit her lips together, briefly. “Is that so bad?”

“Sometimes.” His lopsided smile came back as he lifted his head off the ground to brush his lips against hers. “But I like it.”

“Oh—” she gasped quietly, feeling heat pooling in her stomach as he brought her back in for a kiss.

Hinata wasn’t sure if there was ever really a right time for these things to happen. But at the moment, this felt like the right time, the right place.

Whenever, wherever.

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