Female abusers die challenge
i went to see a psychiatrist thinking i was having a manic episode a few months back because i am so used to feeling depressed that when i feel anything other than that it’s a huge shock. i feel like i’m just destined to be like this forever. please let their be a way out
Doing some therapy homework today, trying to stay positive because I’m depressed af. Kind of feeling this makeup though. 👌🏻
Trauma is just defined as “a deeply distressing or disturbing experience”, which is fairly subjective for a reason.
Did you find the event/situation/experience deeply distressing/disturbing? Did you find it traumatic? Does it help you classify and process and sort out your experience to classify it as traumatic?
If yes, then it sounds like you experienced trauma.
Not all trauma is the same. Different things impact different people in different ways and multiple different kinds of experiences can cause trauma to us.
If this experience is causing you such personal upset to the point where it may have altered your romantic attraction, then it certainly sounds like it was traumatic for you, thus making it trauma.
You don’t need anyone’s permission to classify your experience as traumatic. If it was traumatic to you, then it was traumatic.
Here’s a good resource on some examples of various types of trauma and some signs you’ve experienced trauma: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/coping-with-emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm
I hope you’re taking care of yourself and being compassionate towards yourself. <3
at this point if I even see the word “forgiveness” I lose all my senses in all-consuming rage
Me to me: Big news : God does not care about you or your misery and is probably doing this because you’ve been an absolutely abominable child for every waking second of your life, you scum.
Me: I thought you were supposed to be on my side!
Me to me: Well, I would be if you didn’t act like this…
“you would never actually kill yourself”
i know, but i wish i could
im so tired of doing nothing
“put a fucking bullet in my head.
and dig your feet into my back.”
trauma thoughts got me fucked up this morning. Do you even like me if you’re not being overly possessive and blowing up my phone then getting extremely jealous and aggressive when I’m with someone else? How can you say I’m pretty and loveable when you aren’t groping me and forcing me to my knees for you? I’m feeling unwanted because no one wants to hurt me and I’m craving the mistreatment.
Don’t compare trauma
An ‘I love you’ bandaid doesnt cover a 'fuck you’ stab wound.
I could die tonight, and I doubt that my absence would be noticed, and I’m okay with that. I’d rather be forgotten than mourned. I don’t deserve to be mourned. I’ve made my peace with that.
I know you’ll never understand it, which I’m sure would be so hard. I guess just know that you were loved so much and I admire your integrity, and your compassion.
I just can’t keep doing this anymore. I just don’t have anything left to give.
I’m so fucking selfish.
It’s honestly pretty fucking disgusting.