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non-plutonian-druid · 2 months

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[ID: a three color drawing (black, white, and teal) in the style of Seth’s illustrations from the Lemony Snicket series All The Wrong Questions. Five and Viktor (both about 13) are seated at the counter of a diner, talking. Luther (in his 20s), who is a patron seated next to them, looks concerned about what he is overhearing. Grace stands behind the counted holding a coffee pot and gazing into space. A missing poster for Ben is taped to the counter. In the mirror behind the counter, a reflection Diego and Patch (both 15) are visible in a booth. End ID]

i really should leave time between art posts for them to breathe and accumulate their fair share of notes, but also i need something to do while im waiting for my onions to caramelize.

In this installment: Five and Viktor meet over breakfast to discuss business, Luther is a Concerned Citizen, Diego and Patch also meet over breakfast to discuss business but in the background, and Grace is NOT a robot and this diner is NOT fully automated no sir. Also as usual Ben's face provides some ambiance, thank you Ben.

#tua #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #five hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #grace hargreeves #really? grace hargreeves is the tag? ok #eudora patch #the business is What Is This Dastardly Crime And How Are We - two children - Going To Solve It #i still dont know what the dastardly crime is tho which is exhibit A why i dont write fic #i mean yeah in general its Using Children To Farm Eldritch Tentacle Monsters but what are the actual crimes theyre solving #who knows not me #im doing something very fun here which is that ATWQ has two thematically and plot resonant diners #one of them is where lemony meets with his favorite people to have good food #and the other is a weird noir fully automated one where no one works #with the help of grace's just. whole deal. i can do both at the same time!#as per usual almost forgot #my art #guess who didnt tag this with the au tag and forgot for a full month #meeeeeee #snicket five

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assaily · 1 year

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Been a while since I’ve posted anything fic related, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever talked about this fic before.

The basic premise is the Handler/Commission put some kind of kill switch in Five that would slowly destroy his body planned obsolescence style in the event that he ever successfully defected. It’s essentially a sickfic and another one of those no sparrow, no season 3 au’s bc i wrote this a year and a half ago and the season wasn’t even out yet. I found it again this morning bc I finally had some thoughts for it after all this time.

Anyway, here is some gratuitous angst and Diego cuddling Five. CW for mild suicidal ideation.

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Five looked miserable. Pale and shivering, he looked so frail and small, so old and young at the same time. Diego wasn’t a fan, he didn’t want to be in the room any longer than he had to. The space heater next to the bed was blasting like a Mojave wind, and still Five shivered quietly on his bed.

Five didn’t complain, not even to inform them he was cold. He hadn’t complained this whole time, and maybe that’s what was getting to Diego. Five was miserable, it was obvious he was hurting, it was obvious he was struggling just to stay conscious enough to mechanically munch on his peanut butter crackers. But he didn’t say a thing.

A cracker was left half-eaten between two fingers, his head drooped and his eyes slipped shut. He slumped into himself, still shivering. Diego frowned, slapping his knees as he stood from the armchair. “Alright.”

His voice startled Five, likely having forgotten he was there again. He flinched, head popping up, bloodshot eyes confused and darting before landing on Diego’s face. The relief was palpable, his shoulders slumping, something relaxing in the pinch of his expression.

“Diego,” he croaked.

“Yeah, just me bud.”

“Are you leaving?” He tried to make it sound like an innocent question, tried his damndest to keep his inflection flat, Diego could tell. But he could also hear the quiet fear burbling beneath it.

“No,” he lied, and almost sat back down again.

Five nodded and seemed to remember his cracker. He nibbled on the corner of it again, his arm shaking with that little effort. “It’s not stale,” he remarked, hardly above a whisper. It was the third time he’d said that about the cracker and every time it struck at something soft in Diego’s chest.

“Fresh crackers, just for you.”

“Fresh…” he rolled the word around in his mouth like he was tasting it. “Where’d you find them?”

“The store on fifth.”

Five nodded slowly, processing. The last two times that was the end of the conversation. Diego hoped it would be the end of this one too, but then Five looked over at him, a stark confusion breaking through the dead-eyed exhaustion. “Isn’t the roof…?” he made a fluttery motion with his hand, dropping crumbs into his lap.

“Roof is fine, Five.”

He shook his head, brow pinching. “No, I remember it collapsed.” He paused, Diego at a loss for how to answer. “There’s a pharmacy on tenth, it still has stuff. There might be medicine there.”

“We have medicine for you,” Diego said, gesturing at the table with the small battery of bottles atop it.

Five looked over at it, expression falling blank as he failed to process something. He stared for too long, unblinking and unmoving, that Diego figured he’d lost him again. Lights on, but no one was home.

“I hurt,” Five sighed at long last, breaking the silence and his stillness with another shiver.

Diego chuffed a surprised laugh. “I bet you do.”

“I’m done,” he said softly. “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Diego swallowed down the lump that jumped into his throat. Five didn’t complain, not about the pain, the confusion, the exhaustion.

Five shivered again, cracker forgotten.

Diego couldn’t stand it anymore. “Okay, okay.” He needed to do something, anything to help. He couldn’t just stand there watching Five in misery, watching over him as he got worse and worse, as even the pills and syrups and whatever pain meds Mom tried to give him failed to do a goddamn thing.

“Are you still cold?”

Five looked up at the question, considering him for a solid ten seconds before nodding clumsily. “It’s winter,” he said as if that explained everything.

Diego didn’t have the heart to tell him it was the dead of August. “I’m cold too,” he said, reaching down to turn the heater off. Diego was sure Five didn’t even know what the damn thing was but his shivering took on a new ferocity the moment the coils darkened. He looked confused, lost and as Diego approached the bedside, suddenly defensive. His arms curled over his chest, jaw clenching, pulling himself back as if he could get away from Diego.

“You’re not--” he started, aborted with his mouth open, eyes darting around the room. “Wait, I don’t--”

Diego crouched at the bedside, realizing he was looming a little. “You’re okay, it’s just me.” He reached out, careful to keep his palm up and gesture slow. Five watched his hand, pulling back from him as he tried to touch his arm. “It’s just me,” he repeated.

Five didn’t complain, and he never talked about why he was so damn untrusting of them in his confused state. Diego didn’t want to think about who could have planted that mistrust and why. He knew why. He’d spent enough time with Lila. He’d met her mother. The first person Five interacted with in decades. Diego would have trust issues too.

“Diego,” Five said flatly, more an affirmation than anything else.

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing here?”

He almost wanted to know where ‘here’ was for Five. Somewhere cold, somewhere beyond the end of the world, somewhere lost in his own past. “I’m here to save you.” It sounded stupid coming out of his mouth, feeling it burn in his eyes.

Five paused for half a second, something in his eyes growing sharper than it had in days. Then he laughed, a single mournful guffaw that threw his head back and nearly toppled him back into his pillows. “Save me?” he asked, incredulous. “How? You’re dead, remember?” He smiled wide, shoulders shaking with more than just cold. “You’re dead.” His mirth turned to grief in a second, his expression twisting into honest fury if he’d had the strength. “You can’t save me,” he spat. “I have to save you.”

Diego reached across the bed and put his hand over Five’s arm. His skin was cold as ice, his wrist sharp and bony under Diego’s palm. “You already saved us.”

Five’s anger was smothered by the touch on his arm, his entire attention drawn to it. He opened his mouth, but only a half-aborted burst of air made it out.

Diego didn’t waste time. With the heater off, Five had nothing keeping him warm and Diego didn’t dare let him go now. “I’m cold, too.” Diego said again, catching Five’s attention back to his face and voice.

“I’m cold,” Five said, and Diego couldn’t tell if he was saying a truth or just repeating the last thing he heard.

“Let me in there, then.”

“Huh?”

Diego didn’t wait for him to figure it out. He half-stood, slipping his shoes off and dragging back the covers in one move. He pulled himself under the blankets, one arm around Five’s shoulders, the other making sure his brother was still covered.

“What are you--” Five realized half-way through the sentence that Diego was warm. The question forgotten, Five pressed himself into Diego’s side, shivering fiercely. “Oh,” he sighed, hands finding warm places to shove themselves into.

“Yeah, thought you might like this better.” Even though the old man would never admit it in his entire life. Neither would Diego. No one was home to see this blatant display of affection, so Diego could deal. He was pretty sure Five wasn’t going to remember a thing about this later.

He flicked the half-cracker to the floor, got himself comfortable, Five slumping more and more of his weight against him. His shivering was easy to feel, his whole body so cold. This wasn’t normal, and it settled uncomfortably in Diego’s gut. He wrapped his tiny older brother in his arms, tucking him against his chest to lay on the pillows together.

It took a while for the shivering to subside, took even longer for Five’s breathing to ease and his body to relax. “Diego,” he whispered, so quietly Diego nearly missed it.

He hummed, letting it rumble in his chest so Five could hear it where his ear was pressed against him.

“Diego,” he said again, and that was all. Nothing else to it, but Diego understood this time. An affirmation of gratitude in a whispered little tone, hidden every time he said their names. He’d fought so hard for them, and now Diego couldn’t stop imagining him when he was actually thirteen, alone and starving and whispering their names, putting everything into surviving so he could see them again. So he could come home.

It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t even have that.

Diego held him a little tighter, frail and bony and so, so cold. “You’re gonna be alright.” He was going to get better.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Five said softly, still below that careful whisper.

A laugh burst from Diego, surprised and a little wet. He swallowed the burning lump in his throat and closed his eyes so the tears would roll away and get lost on the pillow. “Thanks.”

“Don’t cry over me.”

Diego couldn’t answer that, couldn’t hold him any tighter, he could already feel his bones creaking. “You’ll be okay.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Go to sleep.”

“I’ll wake up,” he promised.

Diego let out the breath he was holding like a balloon, eyes clouding. “Shut up and go to sleep.” It wasn’t even a fear, he refused to acknowledge it.

“I’m not worth… all this.”

“Shut up.” Diego gripped the back of his neck, too hard at first, making Five tense. He softened his hold, kneading his thumb into the muscle, feeling Five’s heart fluttering that awful off-rhythm beat against his fingertips. “Were we ever worth all that?”

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. “You were.”

Diego shook his head, his chest aching, scratching gently into Five’s scalp. “You’re a part of this family, too.”

Five didn’t answer. He didn’t rebuke, didn’t affirm. Diego could feel him thinking about it, and hoped somewhere in that muddled little head of his that he’d at least internalize that. How could someone who loved so hard think he deserved so little in return. It wasn’t fair.

No more fair than how hard Five had to fight, only to die a few months after achieving it all. No, Diego refused. Five wasn’t going to die. Not yet, not this year or this decade. Five did everything in his power to protect them. It was time someone stepped up and did the same for him.

#in case it wasn't obvious i have a serious soft spot for Diego taking care of a semi-delirious Five #i mean Five being taken care in general but this specific flavor of it appears to be a favorite of mine lol #tua #the umbrella academy #fanfic #fic snips and bloopers #tua fanfic #tua fic #Five Hargreeves #my stuff #my fics #planned obsolescence #i considered saving this for masked author/artist coming up but i doubt this will be any condition for AO3 by may #and i feel like i'd get clocked so fast posting something like this #also i have a shit memory and i already had a planned obso tag so now im worried i;ve posted this before and have simply forgotten #if i did tumblr ate it #hope y'all enjoy :)

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gggoldfinch · 2 months

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The Order of Death

Teaser Trailer...

The Order of Death Public Image Ltd. || I Saw Her Standing There The Beatles || Selbst, Fotovernähung, Annegret Soltau

#I’m so totally normal rn #literally half of the writing snippets are about tommy help 💀 kill that man fr #tua the swedes #goldfinch writes #something good fic #order of death fic #once again refusing to use fandom tags on this post because the actual fandom scares me and we have beef

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sharkneto · 1 year

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Today's thoughts brought to you by What If Allison Did The Actor Thing Where They Dip Their Toes Into The Music Industry For A Christmas Album (Joining Together Universe):

Five cuts himself off to squint at the radio. Without saying anything, he reaches out to turn it up, the boppy, generic Christmas tune blaring from the speakers as the vocalist gives an unnecessary amount of vibrato.

Sarah glances away from the snowy road to frown at him – even if he was a holiday person, this absolutely would not be one of the songs he would like. “Five?” she asks as he keeps squinting at the radio, hand still on the volume dial.

“That’s Allison.”

She listens with renewed interest, trying to recognize the voice – she’s never met or talked to Allison, but she has seen a couple episodes of that show she was on, has seen the trailer for her first big movie (it’s hard to avoid, it’s everywhere). The song is… fine, for a pop Christmas song. Rather synthetic, there’s an underlayer of autotune that she thinks probably wasn’t necessary – Allison’s voice around it sounds good, and if there’s one thing she would have iron control over, it’s her voice.

Five sits frozen for the remainder of the song, brow furrowed but expression otherwise unreadable. It gets them to the house, and they sit in the driveway together for the last few notes.

“It was pretty good,” Sarah offers as jingle bells start for the next song.

He hums, noncommittal. Still, he follows her inside.

Rob is in the kitchen and frowns as his greeting is ignored and Five blows past him to the living room. He throws Sarah a questioning look.

“Allison made Christmas music,” she supplies, coming over to him after shrugging off her jacket to give him a quick kiss in greeting.

“Is it good?” he asks.

She shrugs. “For not a tried-and-true, it’s alright.”

Any further discussion on the qualities of Allison’s new career move is interrupted as cheery notes start beating from the living room. Glancing at one another, they move as one to the kitchen doorway.

They find Five perched on arm of the recliner, arms crossed, and his phone plugged into their speaker system. Allison’s voice starts crooning. He doesn’t react, just continues to stare at where his phone sits on the table.

“She’s not bad,” Rob offers.

Sarah shrugs her agreement.

The song ends. The next starts, a slower ballad.

Five doesn’t move.

“Did you know she was venturing into music, Five?” Rob tries.

He gets shushed.

Sarah exchanges a look with her husband. “It’s probably fine,” he says, a little too quickly. They retreat to the kitchen.

For a novelty Christmas album, it’s long. A full twelve songs, covers of classic Christmas songs interspersed with upbeat, cutesy songs about holiday romance. They check on Five a couple times, also expecting each song to be the last as the album just keeps going and going. He doesn’t move through any of it, just keeps on his perch with that mild frown.

Finally, the last song ends and silence returns to the house. They pause, waiting to make sure there’s nothing more coming. Five confirms the end by walking into the kitchen, his phone in his hand and his expression still unreadable.

As always, Rob tries to breech the silence, “Cool she made a whole album?”

Five gives a neutral hum. He taps away on his phone. After another second, he holds it up to his ear. “Hello?” he asks on the other end. “Is this—great, yes. This is her brother… Five. Yeah. No, I need to talk to her… She can’t be doing anything that important. Tell her it’s an emergency. Yes. Five… I can wait. Thank you.”

“You called Allison?” Sarah checks, even though that is obvious. Rob is trying to hold in a surprised, proud grin, the corner of his mouth twitching badly. Five ignores them both, rocking on his heels slightly as he’s on hold.

He perks up. “Allison?” A brief pause. “Yeah. Emergency? Of course not, I just needed you to come to the phone. I listened to your new album.” Another pause. “Yeah, the whole thing. And—yeah, hang on, let me—Allison, it’s terrible. You should have thought through that Rumor more.”

And with that, he hangs up.

Sarah stares at him, still processing, speechless. Rob has brought a hand up to his face to hide the smile he finally can’t contain anymore, his shoulders shaking slightly with his silent laughter.

Five looks up at them, brightening. “Sorry about that, what were we doing tonight?”

#sorry if you guys are waiting for the next chapter of jt i'm off writing bullshit lol #but this came to me on my commute home and it's too funny to not play with #five is Committed to insulting his siblings #tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy fic #tua fic #number five #five hargreeves #allison hargreeves #i should have a rob tag #sarah #number #quick fic

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difeisheng · 2 years

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i really do think given their interactions in s3e8-9 that ben and sloane used to have a closer relationship with more trust in it that eventually deteriorated to what it is now. among the other siblings fei and ben's dynamic felt more like bitchy work colleagues, but sloane and ben in general felt a bit more sibling-like. sloane's words to ben before her wedding are coming from someone who can read him like an open book and has for years, and they probably used to communicate about it more. sloane doesn't hesitate to tell ben directly and honestly what she thinks of him. ben, while still being prickly as usual, doesn't blow up at her and instead shows more patience than he did with some others, trying to actually connect with sloane to get his point across (before she counters it). there's a stronger bond between them that was only hinted at/wasn't elaborated on and it's a shame

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rebel-by-default · 1 year

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I'm struggling to let go of this snippet that's currently on the cutting room floor for my next fic, so please enjoy some thoughts about Lila. (Post s3 - Diego and Lila's child is around two years old, oh and yes I will get back to A Relative to Truth... at some point)

Lila didn’t like children. They were snotty and snivelly, and whiny and rude. There really wasn’t much to redeem them until they were at least twelve or so. At that point they were old enough to work, to fight. To kill. Before then, they were just annoying.

Lila didn’t like children, but by God, did she love hers. Anita Grace was pure perfection, and she would never follow in her mother’s footsteps. She was priceless, she had value in this world, and she would never need to kill others to feel loved. She would play and smile and giggle for as long as Lila lived. She’d never have nightmares like her mother did, she’d never freeze in terror like her father did. She’d never find solace in the bottom of a bottle like Five.

No, Lila would do everything in her power to prevent that. She would do anything.

#tua #the umbrella academy #rebel has a fic tag now #lila pitts #tua season 3 #diego hargreeves #five hargreeves

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salvador-daley · 1 year

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WIP Wednesday

Reblog this post with a paragraph from your WIP. Tag some peeps. Pass it along. 🧡💚

I’ll get you started with a snippet from my upcoming pile of filth Klave one-shot:

Klaus is so gentle. Probably gentler than Dave has ever been with Klaus, but then Klaus has always enjoyed Dave’s sharp edges: the clumsy feet that trip over themselves on the dancefloor, the too-tall head that regularly bops the light fixtures in these old Vietnamese buildings, the thick fingers that fit neatly around Klaus’ throat, the wide hands that Dave can wrap almost entirely around his rakish waist. Klaus likes being the smaller of the two, the matryoshka doll that tucks snugly inside the crescent moon of Dave’s body as they sleep.

Tagging to get the ball rolling*: @allisoooon @badsext @merrilark @santacarlahorrorshow @seanfalco @super-unpredictable98 @not-oscar-wilde

*Participation is mandatory. If you don’t play, I’ll come round your house and place a cricket in one of your drawers and you won’t know which one. 🦗🦗

#wip wednesday #tua #umbrella academy #tag game #writer games #writer asks #tag games #fic writer #klave #tua klave #klaus hargreeves #dave katz #robert sheehan #klaus and dave #klaus umbrella academy #the umbrella academy #rob sheehan #umbrella academy klaus

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pepperf · 7 months

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Most Dangerous Game (TV 2020), Red Notice (2021 Thurber) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Urvashi Das/Victor Suero Characters: Victor Suero, Urvashi Das Additional Tags: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Crossover Pairings, my ongoing quest to invent new fandoms that can never exist, not set in either universe specifically, they don't contradict one another, Urvashi got a promotion ig, or a transfer at least, to...whatever branch of Interpol deals with billionaires hunting people for sport Summary:

His game was finished, and he'd won, or so they'd said—but he'd never truly believed that it was over, had been waiting ever since for the other shoe to drop.

So, in a way, it had been a relief when Inspector Das of Interpol had appeared and asked if he would come with her, please. He hadn't believed her, at first—not until she'd taken him to Federal Plaza, flashed her badge, and guided him to an office, where she'd given him the low-down on her plan. And then, he figured his life was fucked in a different way. If he was wanted by Interpol...

But he wasn't, not really. He was small fry, and they were whalers.

#fic by pepper #tua fanfic #diego hargreeves #lila pitts #diego/lila #dielila #dilila #tua #the umbrella academy #urvashi das #victor suero #red notice #most dangerous game #urvashi das/victor suero #ships that will never exist #I'm leaving the TUA tags bc that's basically at the core of this #although the characters are different #(I hope!)

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nirby-wirby · 2 years

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drawing your traumatized fav crying is so great. its like free therapy. yes, they need to cry. same thing with writing them crying after a nightmare then talking to someone who will make them feel better.

like yes i will write them having a nightmare about their worst fears coming true and/or about some of their traumas, then they will wake up crying and relieved it was just a dream, then they’ll get up and find someone awake at 3am or something, and maybe theyll have hot chocolate. ya know, as a treat.

and yes i will use the same formula over and over and no one can stop me.

#miraculous ladybug #the owl house #the umbrella academy #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #hunter toh #luz noceda #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #im just tagging characters I’ve done this with and plan to do this with #I literally have a wip that’s just this concept #And I have an actual tua fic on AO3 that’s this #I have no shame in recycling this plot #my thoughts #random #nirby thinks

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evesbeve · 2 years

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new old friend (klaus and sparrow ben fic)

this has SPOILERS FOR TUA SEASON 3.

i know it’s been less than 24hours since i finished this season but i had to get my thoughts down with a quick fic, oops. this is very rushed and doesn’t really get into the deep details of what happened in-canon, but i really wanted to write another conversation between ben and klaus because i love them. hope you enjoy!

Summary:

“You know what I think, Benerino?”

There's a ‘Don't call me that’ that dies on Ben's lips, and though it never makes it out of his mouth, Klaus can hear it loud and clear. It seems he’s either too tired to argue or has finally started to accept there is nothing that will come between Klaus and his favorite nickname.

“I think,” Klaus says, stepping into Ben's field of vision, “you're terrified of being alone.”

Ben laughs—it's a bitter laugh, with a smile that doesn't reach his cheeks—and shakes his head. “No.”

Or: Klaus has a talk with a Sparrow.

(read on ao3)