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so-long-soldier-writes · 10 months

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We’re All Fighting For Those We Love

kai parker x bonnie bennett

summary: no matter how many times damon annoyed bonnie in the prison world, she'd always come back to him. the two had a friendship kai never understood. so after the wedding tragedy and the revelation of his sleeping curse, kai fully expected damon to heal his close friend and let her live out the rest of her life. never did he think the vampire would be willing to let her die to save his girlfriend. as it turns out, he was mistaken.

tags: s06e22, angst, betrayal, character almost dies, minor blood drinking, love confessions

word count: 1.8k

a/n: @bonnie-sheila-bennett finally produced a bonkai fic, but it’s so angsty, i’m sorry! i’m finding that i introduce myself to a new character / ship by writing angst first, so fluff is in the future, but for now we’re ✨sad✨. though i really hope you like it!! 💗

“You can kill her, and save your precious girlfriend now, or you can wait a couple decades for her to wake. The choice is yours.”

Damon doesn’t answer. He stares at Kai, eyes cold and jaw tense, biting back a reply. He looks down at Bonnie as he still holds her head. She lets out a shaky breath, death creeping up on her. It’s quiet for too long; the three stay completely still, wondering who will break the silence. Then, the man gently kisses the woman’s forehead before setting her on the hard ground.

“I’m sorry, BonBon,” he whispers. He doesn’t spare Kai a second glance before speeding out of the barn.

Kai waits a moment, certain he’ll be back. Full of rage, seeking revenge, fire in his eyes, he’ll be back. Bonnie takes another shallow breath. Blood seeps from her wounds.

He doesn’t come back.

Two minutes pass. He’s a vampire; if he wanted to save her, he would’ve done it by now. Damon Salvatore can clear a room of enemies in less than that time if he really wanted. But he doesn't. He only wants Elena.

His answer is his absence. He won’t be coming back to heal his friend, because she’s the only thing standing in the way of him getting his lover back. Her death promises his happiness.

Kai’s heart sinks as he realizes this.

The fact that Damon will sacrifice his friend’s life for his lovers.

The fact that Bonnie will take her last breath after celebrating the fortune of another.

The fact that Kai will have been the one to kill her.

His breath catches in his throat.

He can’t be the one to kill her.

That was supposed to be Damon’s job. He was supposed to do it. The fault was meant for him. Because then, if he was the one to blame, Kai wouldn’t feel so guilty about bringing all this down on the woman he’s grown to love.

Fucking idiot, his mind tells him, you’re not capable of love. You’re not allowed to love.

He doesn’t move. His head and heart continue to fight.

You don’t love her. You’re just desperate for attention. You don’t know what love is. Even if you did, she’d never love you back. You’re not worthy; not able, the head argues. The heart replies, you’ve learned to love. All those feelings you buried deep resurface when you look at her. Don’t you feel them? The way your hands get hot, and your brain gets fuzzy, and your mouth gets dry. The way she smiles, and walks, and can toss a sarcastic comment right back without missing a beat. It’s okay to admit you love her.

A single light flickers out overhead. It makes the smallest tink sound as it dies suddenly. He looks at it, then back at the woman on the floor. She doesn’t have much longer; they both know it.

Yet, with one of her last breaths, she calls to him. Swallowing her pride and hatred for the man who’s shown her nothing but cruelty, she asks for mercy. “Kai?”

Not a second more does he hesitate. Instantly, he’s at her side, kneeling onto the ground, hands reaching for her head. He bites into his wrist, forcing her to drink. Something he’s seen Damon do several times before; something he was supposed to do tonight.

He expected Bonnie to push him away; resist, or even spit up in his face, but instead, she drinks without question. In a matter of seconds, her wounds start to heal, but her breathing doesn’t catch up as quickly.

“I don’t want to die,” she mutters.

If she dies, she’ll have to transition. She’ll lose her magic. She’ll become the thing that killed both her mother and her Grams.

“I won’t let you die,” he promises. He keeps his wrist at her mouth, but mutters a quick spell. Finally, her breathing catches up with the rest of her body. When she pulls off his arm, she’s able to breathe on her own.

He doesn’t let her go, though, and she doesn’t try to move. He continues to hold her upright, her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist. The woman is strong. She doesn’t cry, despite coming so close to death. One could argue that she’s used to it after so many similar experiences, though the truth is that she’s afraid to show too much around him.

Kai, on the other hand, isn’t so durable. He’s never been good at controlling his emotions. He’s been able to lock them away, but never face them. When the reality of the situation hits him, the first tear rolls down his face. The realization that the only person he’s ever felt love towards almost died, and it would’ve been his fault. The recognition of just how much blood is on his hands.

He bites his tongue when one of his tears hits her cheek. He prepares for the verbal beating.

It doesn’t come. She remains silent, even when another wets her face, and another.

Kai wonders if this is about the time that a normal person who is sorry for something says so. He doesn’t quite understand the ways of ‘typical’ people, but maybe all that matters is an attempt.

“I’m sorry.” It’s a whisper, but it’s one she hears.

Slowly, she unravels herself out from his arms. She positions her body to sit across from him, though their knees still touch.

“Why did you let me live?” Her tone hides her fear well, but Kai can still pick it out from the layers of her voice. The shakiness that stumbles out as she speaks the last word.

“I didn’t want you to die,” he admits, puzzled by his own truth.

She takes a deep breath. “Then why did you kill me?”

Again, he spits truth before he can form a lie. “Because it’s in my nature.”

“No it’s not.”

He narrows his eyebrows.

“As awful as you’ve been to me and my friends, you weren’t born evil. You may try to convince everyone that you are, and maybe part of you is, but not all.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because you just kept me alive when I was seconds from death.”

Kai’s quiet for a moment, not sure how to respond. Then, “so is Damon evil? Because he left you to die.”

“I’ve seen Damon do things that are good and evil. I don’t think he can be characterized by either definition.” She picks up a shard of glass between her fingers. “But maybe no one is either, and we’re just fighting for those we love.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I do.”

“Who do you fight for?”

“My friends, keeping them safe, and reminding them of my love. For my Grams, to make her proud, because I know she’s still watching over me. For myself, too, because I’m worthy of my own love.”

There’s those butterflies again, eating away at his stomach.

Bonnie looks at him through the glass. “What about you?”

“What?”

“Who do you fight for?”

“I don’t love.”

“Sure you do. You fight to stay alive. That’s fighting for yourself.”

“I guess.”

“Is that it?”

“I don’t know.”

She puts the glass back down and turns her head at him. A sassy look on her face as she challenges him to think.

“Can you love someone that doesn’t love you back?”

“Of course. I’ve been in that situation with love interests and friends alike.”

Kai ponders this. Two lies pop into his head. My mom. Jo. No. Don’t ruin this one good conversation of your life with lies. Don’t be still when I’m begging you to move. He looks at her, and considers asking, can I be honest with you? But decides against it.

“I think I love you.”

The witch swallows hard. Confusion dances in her eyes, questions float about her mind, but she doesn’t run.

“I, uh,” he wets his lips with his tongue. He’s shared too much. Talking will only make it worse. Yet he can’t stop himself. “If I’ve ever felt what it’s like to be loved, I don’t remember it. I couldn’t remember what it was like to ever love someone, either, until I realized I felt it for you. I know I’ve treated you awfully, and I know I don’t deserve it, but I don’t want to lie about it to you. Not anymore.”

Another light goes out in the string over their heads. Kai fears it’s a metaphor.

He stands up quickly and dusts off his suit. His eyes search for the nearest escape.

“Kai,” Bonnie says suddenly, standing up with him, and grabbing his arm.

He meets her eyes, both unable to read the other’s expressions.

“You’ve done a lot of damage today. You took lives that weren’t yours to take. You brought pain and eternal suffering to a day that should’ve ended in laughter and a lifetime of promise for a young couple, one of those two being your own sister.”

“I know, I-”

“And I want to hate you for it. I want to scream, and push you away, and tell you to go to hell.” Her grip on his arm tightens. Her nails draw blood into his skin. “But I don’t hate you. I can’t. I’ve tried to, and I can’t.”

He blinks in confusion.

“So do me a favor. Stop playing God, stop the games, and the torment, and the curses. Stop hurting people on the off-chance they might hurt you. I know we just had this conversation, and I know you fight for yourself, but there are other ways to protect yourself that don’t have to end in bloodshed.”

“I don’t know any other way,” he murmurs, barely above a whisper.

She responds just as quietly. Under his new transition, he hears it like a shout. “If you’re willing to fight for me, you will learn.” She turns to leave, but he stops her one more time.

“Where are you going?”

“To heal. I’m going to visit my best friend, and I’m going to check up on my other one. And then I’m going to take a nap.” Before he can ask another question, she follows with, “and you, too, are going to heal. And maybe, when you’ve settled the war inside your head, I can help mend the one inside your heart.”

With that said, all he can do is watch her walk away. It’s not a promise, but it’s something he can work for; a reason he’d fight to be better.

Kai looks around at the scene. The battle. The bloodshed. He regrets it already. But yet, maybe it was necessary to finally get the woman’s attention. She spoke to him gently, though with a fierceness he needed to hear. Now he has to work to earn her forgiveness. And to fight for the newfound emotion he thought he’d lost, that he will do.

#kai parker x bonnie bennett #bonkai #bonkai fics #angst #had a rough day on saturday and then produced this from the depths of my mind lmaoo #tvd season 6 #tvd fanfiction

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so-long-soldier-writes · 1 year

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the dog

kai hates the family dog.

warnings: physical & emotional child abuse (including small mention of abortion), dog bite, blood, gore, death of an animal / pet

word count: 5.8k (this was supposed to >1k 💀)

a/n: in no way do i condone animal abuse at all, but this is an idea that came to me about kai’s abusive childhood & development into a sociopath. two things inspired this work. (1) a post that said he must’ve had small killings before eradicating most of his immediate family. and (2) comparing him to michael langdon (ahs), who also killed little things before mass murdering. that being said, here is the (very dark) fic, below the cut

Growing up, Kai hated the family dog. It was brown and white with a stubby nose and an intense glare. It was rather tall, and used its feet to play with the kids. It would be sweet to them, but produced a low growl to people it didn’t like.

It’s a Boxer, his dad had said upon bringing the dog home, bred to hunt boars, and very protective of their family.

His siblings, of course, immediately began to fawn over it. Like they needed another friend. And now his parents had another thing to take care of, as if eight kids weren’t enough.

Kai didn’t always hate the dog, though. In the first few weeks of it being there, he tried to engage with it like his family did. He’d give it attention, and pets, and every once in a while, a snack in the kitchen. Fat from pieces of meat he was cooking would go to the dog instead of the trashcan. It would sometimes eat the ends of fruits and vegetables, too. They got along well.

Until they didn’t.

One day, Kai had come downstairs to cook dinner as he did multiple nights a week. It was one of his only freedoms, and something he loved doing. The dog heard him in there and came over, little tail wagging.

“Hey, Bandit,” he acknowledged, earning more wags.

Of course his siblings named the dog Bandit. Of all the names to pick from, the most common sounded appealing.

After an eye roll to himself, he got to work. Bandit watched as he got out the knife and cutting board, plus the pan and all the ingredients he needed. Kai then picked up a carrot to cut, but hesitated first. No one else is in the kitchen; no one is watching. With a deep breath, he undoes the velcro on his glove, really not wanting to cook with it on. One glove is off and he’s peeling back the velcro on the other, when Bandit suddenly goes insane. He’s barking and lunging at Kai, nipping at his pants’ leg. He can feel nicks to his skin a few times, and quickly moves away. Bandit only follows. With a glance to the aggressive dog, then back to his workspace, he grabs the glove. In one swift motion, he puts it back on, and then the dog stops entirely. It walks a few feet away, sits, and then stares at Kai.

“Umm…”

What had triggered the dog to attack? Full of confusion, Kai tried again. He undid the velcro and started to pull, but only got it halfway off before Bandit was back at his heels. A little terrified, the boy climbed onto the counter to get out of his reach.

“Okay, okay,” he panted, out of breath from the scrambling. He secured both gloves back on his hands, then slowly lifted himself off the counter. Trying to avoid the dog’s gaze, he turned back to the carrot, cutting it into small pieces. Only a couple seconds later, he felt a bump on his knee. Looking down, Bandit was there. The dog bumped him again. Kai gently took a carrot end and brought it to the dog’s mouth. Tail wagging, he ate it immediately, then went back to begging.

That was the first incident.

If the gloves - or lack thereof - were the only thing that triggered the dog, Kai could live with that. But as time went on, the dog got worse. Eventually, there were only so many things he could do without enraging it. If Kai got too close to any of his siblings, Bandit would step in between them and growl. If he made any sudden movements, he’d lunge in response. And at night, if up for too long, the dog would herd him up to his room. If he’d resist, he’d snap. In two months’ time, Kai’s arms and legs became covered in little bites and scratches from Bandit.

A few times, Kai would bring it up.

“Dad?”

Joshua Parker, a few feet away, ignored him.

“Dad?” Silence. “Dad?”

“What?” He finally answered, tone bitter.

“The dog bites. I just want you to know.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“It’s bitten me several times.” Kai rolled up his sleeve to show his arm: red, littered with scars.

“Doesn’t bite anyone else. That means you’ve been out of line.”

“What? What do you mean?”

His dad didn’t answer, and turned back to his youngest instead, “What were you saying, Lizzie?”

“Can Joey and I take Bandit on a walk?” She said in her broken English. The kid’s only five.

“Of course, sweetheart. Just stay on the trail and keep him close.”

“Thank you, daddy!”

The man faced Kai again, “don’t ever talk bad about the dog in front of the kids again. They don’t need to hear your false accusations of it being aggressive again. If you would obey, it wouldn’t have the need to correct.”

“Fine, but Dad-”

“What?!”

“You just admitted it only bites me, so why? Why me?”

“This breed of dog is meant to protect. And as long as you’re around, my family is in danger. I can’t watch you twenty-four seven, so the dog is their guardian for when I’m unable to be there. And like I said, it only bites when you act up.”

“But yesterday, I was talking to Jo and it bit me. And we were only talking about fucking coffee!”

“First, don’t use that language with me. Second, if it bit, you were standing too close. The dog is to protect Jo just as much as the rest of your siblings. So if you’re getting bit, you need to step back. Is that clear?”

“This is bullshit,” Kai muttered without thinking twice. He clamped a hand over his mouth but it was too late.

Not half a second later, his dad’s hand connected with his face. The sound echoed through the Parker house, but it wouldn’t alarm anyone. It wasn’t unusual to hear.

“Go to your room, I don’t want to see you for the rest of the day.”

After the altercation, Kai didn’t leave his room for two whole days. He didn’t want to see his dad or his siblings, and certainly not the dog. Downstairs, he could hear the commotion of the youngest playing with the dog, rough-housing, squeaking toys, and giving him a headache. If he had magic, he’d immediately silence himself in the room to block it out, but there wasn’t even anything he could siphon. Not like he’d know the spell, anyway. So, he sat on his bed, twiddled with his pager, and munched on the single bag of pork rinds he’d gotten from the last time he got out of the house.

At seven on the dot, there was a knock on his door.

“Malachai, you need to eat something.” The soft voice of his mom carried under the doorway. Every time he got sent to his room, his mom came up at seven in the morning and four in the evening to bring him food. Dad hated it when she did it, saying he needed to learn to behave and that she’s rewarding him, but he loved her too much to correct her on it.

“No.”

“Sweetie, please.”

“Go away.”

She didn’t, and lingered at his closed door instead. “You know he loves you, don’t you? He only wants to protect you.”

Kai bit his tongue to not reply, bullshit, which is the word that, this time, got him locked up.

“We both love you,” she continued, “and you need to eat something so you don’t wither away.” There was a pause, “I missed your cooking last night. You always make such good meals, and it takes such a weight off my shoulders.”

“Madeline,” The sharp voice of his dad came in, “leave him alone. He’s serving punishment.”

“He needs to eat, honey.”

“He’ll be fine for a day. If he’s hungry enough, he’ll start to behave better.”

Kai heard his mom swallow hard, then both his parents’ footsteps retreated.

All day, he didn’t leave, and no one else came. Technically, he was allowed to leave at noon, but cringed at the thought of seeing his dad again. So, at four, his mom was back.

“Malachai, you need to come out at some point.” She always called him by his full name, never just Kai. As if she were proud of her name selection. When he didn’t answer, she changed her approach. “Dad said Bandit bit you? Let me in, let me check on the wound.”

“I’m fine.”

“Baby-”

“He’ll come out when he’s ready, Madeline. Come on, Lizzie’s asking for you.”

In reality, he was not fine. His stomach panged with hunger and his body shook from a lack of nutrients. The numerous nips and cuts on his arm and legs stung. Of course, the pain was nothing compared to what he felt when his dad was the one inflicting it, but it still hurt.

Several times, he considered grabbing the food left at his door, but he knew better. His mom may have good intentions in leaving it there, but if his dad knows he ate it, he’ll take it as submission. And as much as he just wants the man to accept him, the two terms are not interchangeable.

The following day at noon, Kai couldn't take it anymore. He had actually slept through his mom’s seven o’clock visit, but around ten, the hunger made him nauseous. So as soon as most of the noise cleared out of the first floor, he slowly crept out and down the stairs. It was a Sunday, so his family was out on their weekly day trip, and as it seems, Bandit went with them. For the first time in weeks, Kai felt comfortable enough to take off his gloves to cook a small meal for himself. He then ate it in complete silence at the kitchen table, no thoughts crowded in his mind.

From this day forward, life went back to normal. Well, as normal as the coven would ever get.

Kai would stay a good six feet away from his siblings at all times. If they came closer to him, Bandit would still stand between them. Somehow the dog could recognize when the kids came close to Kai versus Kai going up to the kids. Like his dad said, the dog never bit them, only the eldest boy. The “bad one”. Oh well. He’s been called worse.

Additionally, he went back to cooking on his days of the week. He’d keep his gloves on the whole time, and Bandit would stay by his feet, waiting for handouts. Though, one time, Jo was digging in the pantry as he was cutting the ends of green beans. He gave a couple to the dog, and his twin whipped around at the chewing noise.

“Don’t feed the dog, you’ll make him fat.”

“I feed him all the time.”

“Well don’t.”

“He’s not fat, he’s fine. He gets enough exercise with all these kids around here.”

“If you don’t stop, I’ll tell Dad.”

Kai stopped feeding the dog. Bandit would still come to his side, poke him with his nose, but he wouldn’t feed him. Their tiny sliver of relationship was gone.

Despite obeying what the dog wanted him to do, Kai still got bit at times. It was like there were always new rules for him to follow, but he didn’t know the rules until he got the correction from breaking them. The most recent happened when Kai had accidentally dropped a metal bowl while Lizzie was studying at the table. The bowl had slipped through his gloved fingers and clattered to the ground. Lizzie cried out at the sudden sound, yelling at Kai for disrupting her focus. Apologies spilled from his mouth, but it didn’t stop Bandit from nipping his ankle. He jumped, and at the same time, his Dad came barreling down the stairs.

“What did you do?!”

“Nothing! I accidentally dropped a bowl. It slipped. I’m sorry.”

“Did you touch her?”

“No! I promise!”

“What happened, Lizzie?”

“Loud sound,” the girl replies in between sniffs. Thank god the child told the truth.

“Go,” Dad points for Kai to go to his room.

He nods and listens immediately. If Lizzie had said anything else, his punishment would’ve been much worse.

Another instance was when Kai was at the kitchen table, reading the book assigned to him by his mom for homeschool - he was pulled out of school two years ago after an incident (which wasn’t entirely his fault) - and his siblings were around him, studying, doing their homework for school. He was at one head; Jo was at the other, and their four younger ones occupied the other chairs. Bandit was underneath the table, eyes trained on Kai’s barely exposed ankle. He knew the dog was watching, so he was very careful to not move.

It’s rare that their parents had all the kids together at the table. Kai often didn’t even eat with the rest, so it was always hair-raising to have to co-exist with them in that manner. Anxiety flooded his body with the fear of messing up. If he moved to flip the page, Bandit might sense the movement. If the air conditioning kicked on one more time and he shivered. If he cleared his throat and a sibling flinched. Thinking of all the possibilities made his mind cloudy, and he forgot to pay attention to his body in the current state. His leg, bouncing up and down, heel tapping on the hardwood floor.

“Kai-” Jo called. He didn’t hear her. “You’re making too much noise, I can’t think.” She snapped her fingers in an attempt to get his attention. Nothing. “Bandit.”

Instantly, Bandit lunged forward and bit his ankle.

“Shit!” Kai awakened from a trance to get away. He scanned his siblings’ faces as he came back to reality. Two staring at him wide-eyed. Two others holding back a laugh from the curse word. Jo, glaring disapprovingly. “I’m sorry.”

“Be quieter, or I’ll call for Dad.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

The girl said nothing in response, then turned the page in her book.

There was also the incident of the left-out grimoire. The book had been abandoned on the kitchen counter, perhaps by Jo, one day that Kai was left home alone. Immediately, he opened it to read. These books were kept away from him, lock and key, preventing any access to magic. Not like he’d be able to perform a spell, anyway. When he touched it, there wasn’t even magic to siphon. Sometimes, grimoires kept a little magic inside of them, but this one seemed to be sucked dry. Maybe that’s why it was left there. Still, magic was magic, and Kai was desperate. He flipped the pages one after another, admiring the thin paper adorned in inked spells and potions. Stories accompanied some pages, as well as annotations from the witch who wrote it.

After a minute, though, Kai realized the owner would be back for the book. He probably only had a few seconds left with it. Taking a napkin and pen from his pocket, Kai wrote down some of the short spells he found, with the intention to try them if he were to ever get magic. He collected about five different ones until a low growl came from behind him.

Shit, the dog, he thought, swallowing hard. How does it know?

“Hey, B.” Trying to stay calm, he turned around. Bandit was crouched down in an attack position he had become rather familiar with, and his lips were curled in a snarl. “I’m just leaving, okay?” He moved to the left, shuffling away, but his gaze followed.

Then, because of course, he could hear Jo yelling from outside, and he knew she’d be inside in a moment. This was not the situation to be caught by his sister. With a deep breath, he makes a desperate decision: run. He ran past Bandit, making a mad dash for the stairs. The dog chased him all the way up until he escaped behind the safety of his door. He hadn’t bit him this time, but the fear was all the same. Not to mention the threat of Jo finding him with her grimoire, even if the magic was absent from it. The hit he’d surely receive from his dad if she caught him; the tense jaw of his mom as she would watch it all happen. Fear kept Kai in his room for the rest of the night that day. When his mom came to the door at four, he lied and said he was tired from homework. To be fair, Beowulf did take a lot of his energy.

◇◇◇◇

A year later, Kai had one final incident with the dog that brought him over the edge. He had had encounters with it that continuously frustrated him, but none had made him as scared and angry as this one, and it had finally caused him to snap.

Over time, Bandit had gone from watching, to herding, to always eyeing him, never letting Kai leave his sight if he were nearby. It had been this way for a couple of months now, and he was extremely careful not to trigger the dog’s bite reaction. Though the Parker house had recently gotten ten times more chaotic than it had been, and everyone was feeling it.

His mom had recently given birth to twins. The family knew she was pregnant, but they had never disclosed this particular detail to Kai. Two sets of twins in the coven couldn’t mean anything good, and the eldest was growing increasingly suspicious of his dad’s intentions.

One day, Kai had come downstairs that evening to start preparing dinner. It was around four, primetime for sibling chaos, because the twins were just waking up from their midday nap. The middle four had been outside with Bandit all afternoon, and Jo just came home from work. Their dad was arriving back from a coven meeting, which sometimes took place during the day rather than at night, and their mom was exhausted from juggling six kids for several hours. Kai, of course, was in his room the whole time, practically threatened if he dared to come out at all. He was, however, expected to come down to cook. That’s how he found himself amidst the crazy on that particular day.

As soon as he came downstairs, the four pre-teens came barreling through the front door, Bandit on their heels, giving him barely any time to get out of the way. Jo and his dad came through the side. Their dad yelled for everyone to stop running, but his words were drowned out from the noise. The twins, in their crawling months, began to cry as sounds piled on top of each other. Their mom covered her ears and shrieks, tired of it all. Kai tried to stay close to the wall on his way to the kitchen. The last thing he wanted was to be in the center of all the mess. However, fate and fuckery had other plans for him.

Joey ran through the hallway just as Kai was crossing through, still attempting to be quiet. His little brother didn’t know he was there and ran straight into him. In a sick and twisted domino effect, Kai lost his balance in that moment and tripped over Luke, the seven month old scrambling across the hardwood floor. He had reached his hands out to the nearby chair to stabilize himself, but somehow eight-year old Sarah ended up there instead. His hands connected to Sarah’s shoulder, and instantly, she cried out in pain. Trapped between Kai and the actual chair, Sarah couldn’t move. Kai couldn’t get up with Luke still in the way, and because he had luck just pouring out of him, he had forgotten his gloves upstairs that day. His sister continued to cry, tears pouring from her eyes, as he siphoned from her. Magic left her body quickly, making her weak. Though through the chaos, he can’t find his balance.

After nearly a minute of everyone being frozen in fear, Bandit was the first to act. The dog lunged at Kai, somehow missing both of the younger children, and sunk his teeth into his arm. He shook his head ruthlessly, breaking the siphon, but still didn’t let go. He then dragged Kai away from the kids, hurting Luke in the process, but separating them all. It wasn’t until Sarah stopped screaming that Bandit let go.

Silence. It was absolutely silent for a whole minute as everyone comprehended what just happened. Then, outrage.

Luke began to cry. Sarah’s eyes began to water, again. Bandit snarled a warning, but Kai wasn’t getting up anytime soon. That was, until his dad grabbed him by the unbitten arm and pulled him to his feet.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He yelled, two inches from his face, “you hurt her! Where the fuck are your gloves? Why can’t you follow the one simple rule we give you?! You goddamn abomination of a child can’t do one thing right!”

“Joshua,” his mom said gently. Kai wondered if she’d tell him to ease up, but he doubts it. “Careful, you’re scaring the babies.”

His dad looked up to find all seven other of his children staring at him, wide-eyed. For a moment, horror took over his face. “Stand up,” he ordered Kai. Terrified, he obeyed. His arm went limp at his side, gushing blood. A piece of skin hung loose, torn from his body. His dad spared one glance at the injury, went into the kitchen, and threw an ice pack and a paper towel at him. “Clean yourself up with this and follow me.”

Shaking with fear, Kai ducked his head and listened.

The minute his bedroom door was shut and his dad placed a silencing spell over the room, the madness continued.

“You fucking waste of space,” he spat. “Fucking abomination of a child. Can’t make his own magic and has to steal it from others. In a process which hurts his family.”

Being brave for a moment, Kai defended, “it wouldn’t hurt so bad if I didn’t have to steal it.”

“You don’t fucking get to speak. In fact, don’t talk to me at all until I say that you can.” His dad goes to his bed where his gloves are, “you’re supposed to be wearing these. You wear these for a very good reason: so that shit like that doesn’t happen. I’d think you’d know that by now.”

“I don’t like to wear them when cooking! They’re the only pair I have and they get dirty, and it’s gross.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me! I’m your father and I tell you when to speak!”

“I’m sorry.”

Immediately, the man slapped Kai across the face. “Do you choose to not listen, or are you so fucking stupid that you constantly defy my orders?”

This time, Kai stayed quiet.

“Finally! You can listen to one itty-bitty thing I tell you! Now, shut the fuck up, while I explain to you how bad this is.” He squared the boy up as if planning where to hit next. Kai knew that was exactly what he was doing. “You siphoned your sister. You drained her body; you made her cry, and collapse in pain. And you hurt Luke. He’s a baby.” Then he laughed. “I should’ve seen this coming - of course you’d try to hurt Luke! You think we’re taking this leadership from you, don’t you? If your mom and I have more twins, you won’t take over this coven, right?” His voice mocked Kai’s. “Guess what? Maybe your mom and I just like having kids. Maybe we’re hoping that if we have enough good kids, it’ll cancel out the bad one. Maybe the coven will forgive us for raising you, instead of aborting you, or killing you as a baby. Which is what we should’ve done. But noooo, your Aunt Maisie thought you’d grow up and mellow out. Thanks, Maisie, now we all have to live with you, and look at you. We, as a coven, have to deal with a magic-stealing siphon on our hands. And of all the bloodlines in the coven, it just had to be mine! You,” he prodded a finger in Kai’s chest, “are a freak. You’re worthless.” He pushed the boy’s shoulders. “Useless to the coven, to this family,” he pinned him up to the wall, “to the world.” Finally, he gave up his hold. “But if you die now, I look even more like the weak link in my family. And I am NOT the weak one. I was a perfect son, a perfect brother. Had perfect grades, a girlfriend that my parents respected, and obeyed every rule set before me. When I was twenty-two, I performed as I was told, and then went on to lead this coven. At twenty-six, me and that same girlfriend began to raise a family. And somehow, it went so, so wrong, because we had you. You fucking failure.” By the end of his rant, he had cornered Kai back up into the wall. He glared at his injured arm, still dripping with blood, then again at his son’s face. “Don’t come down for the rest of the night. And clean that up, too. You’re still going to make dinner tomorrow, and I don’t want your blood in my food.” Then, he spat in his son’s open wound and left the room.

Kai stayed in the corner for hours after that. He was too terrified to move; too disgusted with himself, too broken. Eventually, the bleeding eased up, leaving a stain on the carpet. He sank to his knees and cried.

Sometime around midnight, the sadness turned to rage. Anger towards his father, hatred towards his coven, repulsion to himself. Slowly, he rose to his feet and inspected the wound. It was still open, but with some antiseptic and bandages lying around his room, he was able to clean and wrap it up. He had stolen the materials from under the sink months before, and now they were coming in handy. With a little of the magic he had accidentally siphoned, he was also able to make a lot of the pain and infection go down, but he was careful not to use too much. While performing the spell, his stomach grumbled. He debated fighting the hunger, but then a dizziness came too and he knew he needed something in his system after the dog bite.

Hesitantly, Kai left his room for a snack, just something enough to satisfy his body. In the kitchen, he dug one-handedly through the pantry, pulling out crackers, as well as an apple from the counter’s fruit basket. He was in the middle of filling a glass of orange juice when his blood suddenly ran cold. Something was wrong. A low growl came from the darkness, raising every hair on his body. Bandit slowly came into view, crouched low, teeth bared.

This time, though, the dog had come at a bad time. Kai wasn’t in the mood for cowering. He stared the dog down while grabbing a knife from the drawer. Bandit crawled closer, not surrendering. He was three feet away, and Kai’s heart was racing. His mind was in a debate: run, or fight? In a split-second, he made up his mind. As soon as he muttered a quick silencing spell with the magic still flowing in his blood, Bandit charged. The dog went for his thigh, jumping up with its mouth open, but Kai was ready. Seeing a clear shot, he stabbed the knife into the dog’s shoulder. It yelped, but the sound was drowned out by the spell. The dog wasn’t giving up so soon, though. It made another lunge for Kai, but he stabbed again. This time, through the other shoulder. Finally, Bandit collapsed. He was breathing heavily, flailing what muscles he still could, as Kai stabbed again and again until he was no longer moving. Soon, he knew the dog was dead.

When Kai came to, what he did hit him. There was blood everywhere in the kitchen and on himself, already staining. Kai swallowed hard and thought up a quick plan. He dragged the dog out the door to the edge of the woods and left it for the crows. Then, he went back inside and deep cleaned for hours until the sun began to rise. Around the time Jo would be waking up for work, he went back upstairs, taking a certain bag with him. The bag was full of the dog’s blood that he had cleaned off the knife and other surfaces. He hid it in his closest, then fell fast asleep.

The next morning brought a different kind of chaos. When the kids woke up and couldn’t find Bandit anywhere, they spent hours crying. Their dad, who assured them the dog was surely okay, made a deal with them to spend the day inside, and then they’ll look for their missing dog after work. So that’s what they did. Unfortunately, this deal led to them waking up Kai, because no one is capable of sleeping through the sounds of six screaming children, and when he remembered what he did the previous night, he couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad. Life kicks me in the ass every day and you idiots can’t deal with one day inside??

Kai then wondered to himself who he thought was going to find the body outside, and made bets with himself who’d cry hardest.

At two, his mom came to the door unexpectedly, knocking softly. “Malachai?”

“What?” He replied flatly, not in the mood.

“So, um, I know the kids are being loud today, but Bandit’s gone missing so Dad wants them to stay inside just in case she’s hurt somewhere.”

“Okay.”

“At four, when he gets home, he’s going to take them out to go look for her. And he wanted me to let you know that the house will be empty at that time so that you can cook while they’re all out, and we can avoid another… incident.”

“Whatever.”

“Okay, um, good. I love you, Malachai.”

Kai didn’t answer.

Two hours later, the house erupts with sound when Jo and their dad return home. The commotion is even worse than yesterday because they’ve been inside all day, but at least they leave quickly, wanting to get out. In thirty minutes’ time, it’s the most silent it’s been for hours. Kai waited five minutes to be sure no one was coming back in, and then he began to act on his secret revenge.

The meal he was planning was a simple crockpot dinner. Beef, potatoes, carrots, onions, and a broth were the only things needed. Feeds a lot of people and makes it easy to slip in secret ingredients. Everything was out in front of him as he chopped them up and put them in the pot. Something sinister inside him laughed; he felt like a witch performing dark magic, like those ones you read about in fairy tales. Adding different things to a pot, most of them edible, but something else that’s not supposed to be there. Kai glanced at the bag of blood beside him. That’s it. That’s the dark magic.

I don’t want your blood in my food, his dad said the night before.

“Okay,” Kai mutters to himself, “it won’t be my blood in your food.”

He dumped the animal blood over top of the rest of the ingredients, and watched how the redness seeped into them, staining them. He dragged a finger through the uncooked stew, stirring it, then bringing it to his tongue. The taste of raw meat and fresh blood sent a tingle down his spine, making him feel oddly powerful. Then, he put the lid on top of the pot and pushed the ‘on’ button. Only a few hours until he can taste it cooked.

Kai buried the bag in the bottom of the trashcan just in time for Joey to come racing through the front door.

“Kai!” He cried, “Bandit’s dead! He’s dead! The crows are eating him outside! It looks like he got hit by a car, daddy says! Sarah found him on the side of the road by the woods!”

Kai tried his best to fake emotion, but for some reason, found it extremely difficult. “That’s horrible. Who would hit and run a dog?”

“I don’t know, but I’m sad!” His brother was a snotty, blubbering mess. The child just stood in front of him, crying uncontrollably. “Can I have a hug?”

“I don’t think your dad would like that very much.”

That only made Joey cry harder. Thankfully, Jo came bursting through the door seconds later. “Joey, come here, sweetheart, it’s okay! It’s going to be okay!”

“I’m sad, Josie! How will I go on living?!”

Josette walked the boy away from Kai so they could both cry, but not before she glared at him for standing so close to the boy. He tried to gesture that Joey had walked up to him, but she just rolled her eyes.

One-by-one, the family entered through the front door, all weeping miserably at the loss of their dog. The only one to look at Kai - who was still trying to find an emotion to share - was his dad, who looked equally upset and fearful, as if he knew Kai had something to do with it, but was too afraid to ask.

The rest of the night was uncomfortably quiet for a family of ten. The only sounds to be heard for hours were quiet sniffles and the occasional sob. When dinner rolled around, there was no arguing about where to sit, nor any he-said-she-said about anything that happened during the day, it was just silent. At one moment, their mom cleared her throat to thank their eldest for dinner.

“Stew is the perfect dish for mourning,” she said. It made the hairs on the backs of everyone’s necks stand up, Kai’s included.

Nonetheless, he replied, “my thoughts exactly.”

No one seemed to pay mind to the fact that he was already done preparing the meal when Joey had brought the news, or if they thought it, they didn’t bring it up. In fact, no one ever really discussed the night again afterwards.

As for Joshua, who, by the look in his eyes, suspected Kai was guilty, he never did ask if Kai took part in ending the dog’s life. The topic went cold after it happened, never to be brought up either. The family never got a new dog, and his dad was always lighter on his threats to Kai after that. He still hurt the boy, physically and emotionally, but some part of him knew he had crossed a line that night. Kai, on the other hand, knew he, himself, had crossed some kind of line, too. He knew it the minute he stood in front of his brother and tried to form an emotion to relate to the sad boy, but came up with nothing. Something inside him had been broken, or altered, and it was never coming back.

#kai parker #malachai parker #sociopathy #tw child abuse #tw animal death #i wrote this in a day #might need therapy after it #also it's probably concerning that i had fun writing it #tvd #the vampire diaries #tvd season 6

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