So i decided to pour my anxiety and feels about TCW season 7 into a little Codex oneshot/ drabble. Thank you to @angelwars11 for being my beta- reader for this! (This is my first ever fanfiction i wrote on my own 😍) I hope you enjoy, please leave a comment!
Summary: Captain Rex has PTSD after Umbara and there is only one person that can comfort him.
Warnings: Fluff, Angst!, Mentions of death.
Captain Rex was tense. He was barely listening to the briefing and General Skywalkers voice at all, his mind feeling numb. He tried to snap back into focus, but his thoughts kept wandering off into the dark abyss of pain.
It has been two weeks since the Troops have returned from Umbara. He had lost many brothers, including Hardcase… and now Dogma was being court martialed for doing the right thing. Poor Dogma, he thought, he has his heart in the right spot. It was the blind loyalty, that the Kaminoans hammered into his brain, that made him follow all of his superior‘s orders.
He felt anger bubbling up in his chest at the thought of the traitorous General Krell. He was the reason he had lost so many of his men, his brothers, and he manipulated the entire operation from the beginning!
Rex clenched his fists tightly as he tried to push down the fury rumbling in his chest and tired to ignore it making his ears ring. It’s over now, there is nothing more you can do then move on, he thought, swallowing hard. shaking his head of the thoughts slightly, he caught up with the General’s Monologue.
„-which is why we need to bring those supplies to the villagers as quickly as possible. Any questions?“ The Jedi asked, looking around the room, catching Captain Rex‘s eye for a split second, to which said clone immediately stood at attention. As the General received no questions, he ended the briefing. „You may go and rest now, we still have a long travel ahead of us. You are dismissed.“ He said, and the men saluted and left to get some downtime.
All except for Rex. He was still staring at the Holo- Map infront of him, expression blank. As he made no intention to leave whatsoever, Skywalker approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder plate, to which Rex flinched as he snapped back into reality. „Captain, are you okay? You look pale.“ He said, making eye contact. Rex straightened up and replied: „No, i’m fine, Sir. Just tired, that’s all.“. The General quirked an eyebrow, but simply gave him a pat on the shoulder and said: „Go rest, Rex. You can’t keep putting off sleep, i need your mind sharp for the next mission.“ Rex’s expression was unreadable as he thanked his General and turned around to leave for the barracks.
It was true, he’s been neglecting himself and avoiding sleep ever since he returned from Umbara. He knew he needed to sleep, he knew he needed to gather strengh, but every time he falls asleep he hears his brothers scream, he smells the burnt stench of cauterized skin and the swamp, he sees his brothers fall one by one and he feels their pain as if it was his own.
He cringed at the memory as he took a left turn and tried to ignore his stomach doing the same, wanting his breakfast to stay where it was.
I should have known sooner! Something was off with that Jedi the first time i saw him, i should have shot him right-
but he cut himself off. There was nothing he could have done. He couldn’t have known.
It should have been me! I should have killed Krell, not Dogma! I should be the one getting court martialed, not him!
He briefly closed his eyes, his chest feeling uncomfortably tight thinking about his brother. And not just him. All his brothers that fell due to Krell‘s poor tactics. All the ones that he himself shot at, not knowing it was them. Hardcase, who sacrificed himself for his brothers and the greater good, like the heroic madman he was.
Rex took another turn, finding the way to his quarters easily. He sighed deeply as he reached his door and simply stood there for a minute, looking at it. He gathered himself and was about to hit the passcode into the panel to open the door, when he heard a brother call his name. He looked up at the person jogging towards him , who wore a slight smile, datapad in one hand, helmet in the other.
He slowed down to approach him, shaking the datapad in his hand demonstratively. „Hey Rex, you gotta check this out!“ He said, holding out the illuminated datapad with a smile. Rex just stood there motionless, staring into his brothers face with a blank expression. Cody stared back, his smile starting to fade, letting his arm fall to his side again.
„Uh… Rex? you okay?“ He asked, his face turning into a concerned frown.
Rex felt a clump forming in his throat, making breathing and clear thinking hard. There he was, his closest brother, the one who always listens to him, the one who has been saving his life on many occasions and the only one who can seemingly read his mind. In this very moment Rex realized how long it had actually been since he last saw him. It was long ago, too long, as he decided. Rex was shaking as he desperately tried to push down the urge to cry and scream and tackle his brother in a bone crushing hug and never letting go… but the lump in his throat became bigger and his vision became blurry, and he couldn’t hold himself off any longer.
There was a loud thump and a clattering noise when two helmets and a datapad hit the durasteel ground, the thin datapad breaking in the process. Rex had slung his arms around his brother‘s shoulders tightly, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and inhaling his familiar scent.
Cody was startled but didn’t hesitate to place his arms gently around Rex, holding him close as his brother tried to stiffle the sobs coming from his throat.
„Vod‘ika, whats wrong? What happened?“ He gently asked, his voice becoming raspy as he placed one hand at the back of his head soothingly. He was puzzled as to what could be so horrible that it made his brother, the Captain of the 501st, cry. Rex never usually cried. Not infront of anyone, anyway.
Rex tried to answer, but all that came out of him were sobs and whimpers, muffled by Cody‘s shoulder. „Shh, i’m here vod, it’s okay“ He cooed into Rex’s hair, stroking the back of his head. He figured questions had to wait for now, as they were still standing in the middle of a corridor, holding onto each other tightly, and Rex was in no position to muster up a functioning Galactic Basic sentence.
Cody closed his eyes and leaned into his brother a bit more, their stiff armor making it harder to be close, not being able to fully curl up into each others embrace, not being able to hear the sooting heartbeat of his brother through the hard duraplast chestplate.
All of the pain, the trauma, the numbness, it all seemed to pour out of Rex and right into his brothers warm, familiar embrace. Rex pressed his face further into Cody’s shoulder, he could feel Cody‘s pulse from his neck on his cheek and it was like a lullaby to him, soothing his violent sobs and turning them into quiet cries and whimpers.
„Let‘s get you inside, then we can talk. Sound good?“ Cody asked barely above a whisper, turning his head to look at his surroundings, never letting go of his crying brother. Rex nodded slightly, lifting his head from his brothers shoulders, his eyes turning red and puffy from tiredness and crying, the cold air of the hallway hitting his tear- stained cheeks. The two men looked at each other with a slightly pained expression, but Cody tried to muster up a reassuring smile nevertheless. He kept one hand on Rex‘s arm as he bent down to pick up both of their helmets, while his brother typed the code into the panel next to the door with shaking fingers to open it. After handing Rex his helmet, Cody gently guided him inside the small room, the door closing behind them with a hiss.
Rex slumped down on the bed, helmet abandoned on the desk and his head in his hands, sobs starting to shake his exhausted frame once again. The tears were still cascading down his defined cheeks, his eyes squeezed shut with pain and agony. Cody wasted no time, placing his helmet next to his brother’s and sitting down beside him, wrapping his arms around his brother’s shaking form.
„They… they’re all gone! so ma- many of them!“ Rex sobbed after a few silent minutes, his voice hoarse and quiet. Cody closed his eyes and tried to push away his own dark thoughts, only clinging onto his brother tighter. He didn’t know what to say. He heard about the events on Umbara, he knew the numbers. His own eyes began to sting, but he forced his tears away, trying to be a comfort to his brother.
„It’s not your fault, Rex. You did all you could.“ He said, choking up as well. He tried not to picture the corpses, tried not to listen to the screams in his head. He reached up to gently pat rex’s head again, running his calloused fingertips through the soft blond hair which was starting to grow out.
They both lost track of time as they simply held each other, Cody murmuring encouraging and comforting words to his vod. Rex’s crying eventually subsided, leaving him feeling drowsy and weak. He looked up to his brother with swollen eyes and said in a small voice, barely a whisper: „Thank you brother. i needed this.“ He tried to smile up at Cody, but he knew he wasn’t fooling anyone.
„Thats what a brother is for, vod. We’ll get through this, together.“ He smiled down at Rex, pulling him close again.
Rex nuzzled into the crook of cody’s neck again, sighing.
„I love you, Cod’ika”he whispered as he started to feel at ease for the first time in weeks.
„I love you, too.“ Cody murmured back, placing a featherly kiss on Rex‘s temple.
He was going to be okay.